Chapter Text
Nine times out of ten, when Katsuki says he only tolerates hangouts with the self-professed “bakusquad”, he’s lying. After almost three years of dealing with them, he can admit, at least to himself, that they’re his friends and he genuinely enjoys their company. They all know he’s lying, too, because after three years of dealing with him, they can tell when he’s bitching just for the sake of bitching.
Tonight, however, is the one time out of ten that he means it.
They’re halfway through their final semester at U.A., so naturally, they’re talking about what they might expect once they graduate and get into the pro hero scene full-time. Are they discussing things like crime rate patterns, why they’re sidekicking with the heroes they chose, or anything meaningful like that?
Of course not. That would require actual complex thought from these morons.
“I’m just saying, it only makes sense that we’ll be able to pull more chicks as proper heroes as opposed to just sidekicks!”
“Whatever dude, you’re just saying that so you have an excuse for why you can’t get any after graduation.”
Katsuki scoffs for what feels like the millionth time that night and sinks further into Hanta’s hammock. He knew he should’ve been suspicious when Denki, who usually jumps at the chance to play Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum with Mina, suggested they have a “boy’s night”. But Eijirou had pulled out those puppy dog eyes that Katsuki’d somehow never managed to build up a tolerance to, and he’d relented, figuring it couldn’t possibly be that much worse than what he typically puts up with from his band of loyal idiots.
He's gonna kick that spikey haired moron’s ass so much harder in training for this.
“Hey Kacchan, you’re smart, help a bro out here! It’s simple math, right?”
The blonde in question scrunches his face up at being dragged into such an absurd conversation. “Leave me the fuck out of your gross shit, you’re making me wanna go all the way deaf.”
Denki wiggles his eyebrows at him. “What, you don’t wanna brag about the kinda girls the Great Explosion Murder God himself has gotten in bed?”
Katsuki sits up to properly sneer at him. “Why the fuck would I tell you losers what I’ve been up to? It’d be a waste of my fucking breath.”
Hanta rolls his eyes and nudges Denki on the shoulder. “C’mon Denks, it’s been three years and the guy still barely admits we’re his friends, there’s no way you’re getting anything outta him.”
Katsuki leans back into the hammock with a huff before snapping, “Shut the fuck up, Soy Sauce, and don’t talk about me like I’m not here!”
Hanta just waves him off as Denki sets his sights on his next victim.
“What about you, Ei? I’m sure the Sturdy Hero gets all the chicks! Hell, you’ll probably have your own fan club as soon as you graduate!”
All eyes turn to Eijirou, who looks like a deer in headlights for a brief moment before giving an awkward laugh. “Aw, c’mon guys, you know it’s not very manly to talk about stuff like that.”
Hanta and Denki roll their eyes at him, all too used to this kind of response from the redhead, before easily moving the conversation along. Katsuki narrows his eyes and ignores the others to analyze his best friend.
He knows why he didn’t answer the question. He’d sooner break his own fingers than admit out loud that the boy who regularly short circuits his own brain and someone he’s seen get caught up in his own tape more times than he can count beat him at something, even if he has a good reason for putting it off.
But Eijirou’s always been very pro “bro bonding” – whatever the fuck that means – and has always said it’s “unmanly” to keep things from your friends. Even if he’d felt it’s disrespectful to name names or get into details, he wouldn’t have left their friends hanging completely like that. The only reason Katsuki can think of for his best friend to brush the question off entirely is one even he knows better than to try and confirm in front of the other idiots.
So, he lets it go for now. Once he hears the phrase “body count”, though, he gives up on trying to be “social” or whatever and promptly takes out his hearing aids and shuts his eyes, intent on letting his mind wander to anything but the thought of Denki and Hanta doing god knows what with some poor girls who obviously have some deep-seeded self-esteem issues if they’re letting Thing One and Thing Two touch them.
The night goes on, and eventually the subject of girls and hooking up is forgotten entirely. They spend the rest of the night eating absolute crap and playing video games that Katsuki kicks all their asses at, as usual. A typical bakusquad hangout, just like any other.
As he steps out of the elevator to the fourth floor later that night, though, he decides to find out if his earlier assumption is true or not.
“Hey, Eijirou.”
The boy in question turns towards him, completely unassuming. “Yeah?”
Katsuki doesn’t even bother to phrase it as a question.
“You’ve never had sex before, have you.”
No one ever accused him of being tactful.
The redhead’s eyes bulge out in horror at being called out. “Dude! Wha – I don’t – why would you –”
Eventually, he just drops his face into his hands and lets out a long, miserable groan. “Please don’t tell anyone. You know the guys’ll never let me live it down if they find out.”
Katsuki doesn’t confirm that he won’t tell anyone his friend’s secret. They both know he won’t. Instead, he asks, “Why haven’t you? Had sex, I mean.”
Eijirou shifts uncomfortably and looks down at the floor, a level of insecurity on his face that the blonde hasn’t seen there in a long time.
“Well – I don’t know, I guess I just…..never had someone I wanted to……do that with. It’s not really something I wanna do with just anyone. I mean, I’m not saying I need to be in love or whatever, but I’d like to at least care about whoever I do it with, y’know?”
He looks up and immediately shrinks away from what Katsuki realizes must seem like a critical gaze.
“I know, I know, it sounds stupid when I say it out loud! I’m sure it wasn’t like that for you, you probably weren’t thinking so hard about it like I am.”
Katsuki brings a hand to the back of his neck and, with a frown and deliberate lack of eye contact, decides to have mercy on his best friend. “Calm the fuck down! I’m only asking because I haven’t done any of that shit either.”
Eijirou’s head snaps up to stare at him in disbelief. “Wait, really!? How come?”
Katsuki hikes his shoulders up to his ears and fights his knee jerk reaction to tell the other boy to fuck off and mind his own business. It’s only fair to answer. After all, the redhead opened up about his own reasons, despite clearly being embarrassed about it.
Still, how the fuck does he say that the idea of trusting someone enough to do something that intimate with them feels terrifying to him without sounding like a fucking nerd?
“Tch, cuz! I didn’t wanna do it with some lame ass extra I don’t even know and probably isn’t even worth my fucking time!”
Eijirou nods as if he understands exactly what Katsuki means. And shit, after all these years of basically being the official Bakugou Katsuki Interpreter, he probably does.
“Well, I guess if anything, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one, right?”
The blonde just grunts in response, lost in thought as he studies his friend, an idea formulating in his head.
They care about each other, obviously. They trust each other, obviously. Hell, throughout their three years of friendship, Katsuki’s shown Eijirou parts of himself even he hadn’t known were there.
It……. makes sense. Right?
“Uh, bro? You good?”
Fuck it.
“We should have sex. With each other.”
Eijirou sputters for a moment, and Katsuki uses that time to marvel at how the boy’s face matches his hair.
“Wha – I – dude! Why would you even suggest that?! Where did that even come from?!”
Katsuki just shrugs, trying to look as casual as possible despite what he’s suggesting.
“Because it makes sense. Neither of us have done it, but we both want to, but we don’t want anyone else to know that we haven’t done it yet. Simple as that.”
Eijirou looks at him like he’s grown a second head. “Dude, there’s like, way more that goes into it than that!”
Katsuki raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him.
“What more is there? It’s just gonna get harder to find someone you actually give enough of a shit about once we graduate and officially become heroes. Or do you really want your first time to be with some fucking groupie?”
“Well, no, but I just –”
“You also said it was about care and trust and shit like that. We’re friends, we trust each other. It seems like the perfect option to me. And besides, this way when we find people we’re genuinely interested in, we’ll actually know what the fuck we’re doing.”
A hesitant look comes over Eijirou’s face in that moment. “Are you sure dude? I mean, this is kinda huge, and I don’t want things to be weird between us right before graduation.”
Katsuki scowls, insulted at the implication. “What, you think something like sex is gonna make us stop being friends or some shit?”
At that, the embarrassment finally seems to melt off of Eijirou, who sends him a warm smile.
“No way! It’s you and me, man. No matter what, we’ll always be good.”
Katsuki feels the corners of his mouth pull up at that answer. “So we doing this or what, Red?”
Eijrou looks at his face, seemingly searching for something, before the smile returns to his face. “Yeah, ok. What you said makes sense, and I trust you. If you think this is a good idea, then I’m all for it.”
Katsuki crosses his arms and lifts his chin with a smirk, satisfied at being given what he wants. “Good, so we’re fucking doing this.”
“Yeah, we’re – wait, you mean like, right now?!”
“No, not now, you idiot!”
“Ok, so when?”
He frowns and thinks for a second before coming to a decision. “Next week. Saturday.”
Eijirou lifts an eyebrow at him. “Any particular reason or did you just pick a day?”
Katsuki rolls his eyes as if the answer should be obvious.
“Because, dumbass, next Saturday Arm Freak, Round Cheeks, Pinky, and Dunce Face are all going home for the weekend. That leaves the entire floor and most of the idiot brigade out of the dorms, which means it’ll be easier to make sure no one sticks their nose in our fucking business.”
Eijirou blinks as he takes all of that in. “Wow, that – yeah, that actually makes sense.”
“Of course it fucking does, I thought of it. So, you in or what?”
The redhead gives him a lopsided smile and a huff of amusement before answering.
“Yeah man, next week. It’s a plan.”
Katsuki nods once, then turns on his heel and heads to his room, just barely catching the “g’night” thrown at him from the hall and tosses a half-hearted wave over his shoulder in response, before kicking his door shut.
It’s not until much later, when he’s lying in bed that night, that he realizes what the fuck he’s just agreed to.
Shit.