Chapter Text
“Hey, so,” says Kaminari, strolling into the common room and jerking his thumb over his shoulder. “Does anyone know what’s with the gigantic magical vine forest way over on the other side of campus?”
“Shut the fuck up, moron, magic isn’t real,” says Katsuki, just for something to say and also because Dunce Face is a dunce face and magic isn’t fucking real, dunce face.
Kaminari shrugs, flopping down to sit next to Kirishima on the couch. “You’re telling me something that looks that much like a picture from a fairy tale isn’t magic? Do I look like an idiot?”
Katsuki opens his mouth to tell Kaminari just exactly how much of an idiot he looks like, but Kirishima beats him to it – not to telling Dunce Face he’s a dumbass, because Kirishima is a fucking amazing person who doesn’t have a mean bone in his body and yet somehow is friends with Katsuki anyway, but just to, you know, saying something.
“I’ve seen that place, too!” he says, looking enthused. Not that that means much, since Kirishima could get enthused over the opening of a paper bag, but still, apparently people care more about the weird fucking landscaping situation in the north-east corner of campus than Katsuki realised. “It does look kinda creepy.”
“Oooh, are you guys talking about the magic forest?” Ashido says, bouncing over from whatever chaos she’s been creating on the other side of the common room.
“Magic isn’t fucking real!”
“I heard from Hagakure that she heard from one of the girls on the business course that one of the third years said that the teachers don’t even know how it got there!”
“Whoa,” says Kirishima, like she’s just presented him with solid statistical evidence of fucking fairies or some shit.
“That’s fucking bullshit,” Katsuki says. Like, normally he wouldn’t even lower himself to be involved in a dumbass conversation like this, but he was fucking sitting here first and the conversation happened around him, and he’s not fucking moving but he’s also not letting these idiots act like what they’re saying isn’t incredibly stupid. “It’s a landscaped fucking campus, what, it just fucking appeared one day?”
“No, no, I heard that too!”
Fucking great. The one person who probably could produce solid statistical evidence of fucking fairies. Katsuki’s lip curls as Deku hurries over, clutching one of his stupid notebooks, eyes wide and earnest.
“Apparently it just appeared about ten years ago, just grew up overnight, and the groundskeepers have never been able to get rid of it!”
He’s flipping through his notebook and Katsuki is feeling a headache coming on. The dumbass nerd opens a page and shows them all a sketch of the weird vine thicket, surrounded by notes in his unreadable handwriting.
“What do you mean, can’t get rid of it?” Ashido asks. “Can’t they just cut it down?”
“No, that’s the thing!” Deku says, working himself up into that state of nerd-excitement that never fails to set Katsuki’s teeth on edge. “Nothing seems to have any effect on it! Not weedkiller, axes, chainsaws, quirks – and the vines are so thick and thorny that no-one can get inside to see if there’s anything more to it. Present Mic told me they think it’s a quirk but they have no idea what the point of it is!”
“Sounds kinda like this conversation,” says Katsuki.
“Oh, come on, Blasty, you’re telling me you’re not even a little interested in a mysterious unkillable forest?” Ashido says, punching him in the arm.
“It’s just fucking plants, who the fuck cares.”
“Plants that nothing can destroy,” says Kaminari. “Magic plants.”
“Magic doesn’t fucking--”
“I bet even you couldn’t blow your way in there,” says Ashido.
And suddenly, Katsuki’s interested.
****
It’s not that Katsuki hasn’t noticed the giant, ugly pile of vines before, but it’s a full two kilometres away in a part of campus he doesn’t have reason to go to very often, so he hasn’t really looked at it before. Now that he is looking at it, he has to admit (though not out loud, obviously) that Dunce Face has a point. It is fucking weird and creepy-looking. It’s as tall as a three-storey house, maybe a hundred metres wide, and you’d think that there should be trees or something there for the vines to hang off, but there’s just – vines. Grey green, thick as All Might’s thighs, with thorns the size of your hand, fucking – just a fucking gigantic pile of vines.
“That’s pretty fucked up,” Katsuki says. Nature is fucking weird sometimes.
“Magic!” Dunce Face says, with the kind of shit-eating grin that lets Katsuki know he’s saying it just to piss him off. Which, fine, Katsuki’s happy to oblige. Being pissed off at Dunce Face is one of the reassuring constants in his life.
“Shut the fuck up,” he says.
“OK, I’m gonna--” Kirishima says, and hardens up, heading over to try and force his way through the outermost vines. He shoves at one of them, trying to push it far enough away from the next to create some kind of opening, but the vine doesn’t move an inch, like Kirishima’s not even there. Kirishima gets his shoulder underneath and heaves, with the same result, i.e. fuck all. Eventually, he steps back, sweat standing out on his forehead.
“Yeah, those things are tough, bro,” he says.
“OK, my turn!” Ashido claps her hands together in excitement, then directs a jet of acid onto the vines. It drips down onto the ground, the grass immediately surrounding the thicket shrivelling and dying. The vine, though, looks exactly the same. Well, a little wetter.
“All right, all right,” Kaminari says, rolling up his sleeves and stepping forward. “This seems like a job for some electricity.”
And that’s how it goes. Dunce Face succeeds only in blowing his own mind, Ponytail creates a machete and then a chainsaw and then a machine gun and gets absolutely nowhere, Deku’s Detroit Smash might as well be tickling the fucking vines with a feather, all the rest of the extras are even more fucking useless. The only actually helpful ones are Ears, who plugs her jacks into the ground and informs them that it’s like there’s a cone of fucking silence around the vines, like there’s nothing in there at all, and Round Face, who floats herself over the top and confirms that it’s just as tangled up there as it is down here.
So that’s where they’re at: a big fucking pile of fucking indestructible fucking vines. What the fuck?
“Must be a quirk,” Deku’s mumbling, scribbling in his notebook. “But why? Who would--?”
“Fucking fine, you fuckers are all fucking useless,” Katsuki says, and steps forward, flexing his fingers. Kaminari cheers like an asshole, Kirishima slaps him on the back, and Katsuki ignores them all, because fuck it, this is a challenge and therefore he is going to fucking win. He sets off a few minor explosions as a warm up, takes a few steps back, and then takes off at a run, sprinting forward until he’s in exactly the right place, then throwing his palms forward and pushing everything he has into them.
BOOM
Katsuki uses the blowback to somersault back from the edge, landing with bent knees, eyes trained on the dissipating cloud of smoke. As it clears, he sees what’s under it: a smoking hole in the tangle of vines, edges still smouldering. Inside, there are more vines. But there’s the fucking answer: not indestructible.
“Whoa,” says Kirishima. “Good job, dude.”
“Hope the rest of you extras are taking notes,” Katsuki says, and slouches over to the hole, pushing his way through to where the wall of vines begins again. He considers the best way forward. Predictably, the best way forward is to blow some more shit up. So that’s what Katsuki does.
BOOM
BOOM
BOOM
Katsuki’s fully inside the vines now, and every explosion lengthens the tunnel he’s making for himself. It’s kinda dark, though. And then – it’s very dark.
“Bakugou!” yells Kirishima behind him, weirdly muffled. Katsuki turns to see – nothing. It’s fucking dark. The light that was coming in through the hole Katsuki made to the outside world is gone.
Because the hole is gone.
Shit.
“Hey!” Katsuki yells. He pulls out his phone and flicks on the flashlight. Most of the tunnel’s still there, it’s just the entrance where the vines have somehow instantly regrown. That doesn’t mean it’s gonna end there, though, and Katsuki hastily stumbles back over the uneven floor of the tunnel, tripping over the rough-edged ends of vines and almost impaling himself more than once on a giant fucking thorn. “What the fuck, fuck off, asshole plants!”
“Kacchan!”
“I’m fucking fine!” Katsuki reaches a wall of vines where the way out used to be. “Stand back, extras, I’m coming out!”
He shoves his phone back in his pocket flexes his fingers, and calculates an explosion that should KO the vines without blowing him to hell in this wonderful fucking enclosed space.
BOOM
And – daylight. Katsuki stumbles out, snarls at all his dumbass classmates who are giving him worried looks from a safe distance away, then turns and kicks the nearest vine.
“Fuck you, vegetative bastards!”
The vines don’t have a comeback for that (hah!), and Katsuki folds his arms and waits for the hole he made to seal up. Everyone else gathers, watching nervously. But the hole doesn’t seal up. It’s just – still there.
“What’s it like in there?” Deku asks.
“Dark. Lots of fucking plants.”
“It was weird, they just – suddenly regrew. We thought they might have – tangled you up--”
Fucking Deku. “It was fine. It was only the ones over the entrance that regrew, the rest were fine.”
“So then – maybe there’s like a time-limit,” Round Face says. “Maybe the ones you blasted inside are regrowing now.”
Katsuki goes to the entrance and gets out his phone again, peering inside without getting too close. It still looks as deep as it was when he got out. It doesn’t seem like anything’s regrowing.
Deku comes to stand next to him. “Maybe--” he says, and takes a step towards the entrance.
And then it’s gone. It’s almost too fast to see, the vines regrowing over the tunnel, huge and grey and thorny, like they’re a hundred years old even though Katsuki literally just saw them grow before his eyes.
Deku jumps back. “Oh!”
Katsuki snarls. “Fuck you,” he says, and blows the entrance open again. Inside, the tunnel is still intact. It’s just the entrance that’s regrown. Maybe it’s a time limit, like Round Face said. Or maybe--
“Hey, did one of you dumbasses try and follow me?”
“Huh? Oh, I did,” Kirishima says. “But then the vines did that thing.”
Katsuki nods, glaring at the smouldering entrance. So Kirishima tried to go in and the entrance sealed up. And Deku tried to go in and the entrance sealed up. But when Katsuki went in--
He steps inside.
“Bro!”
Katsuki gives Kirishima the finger without looking back. These fucking plants think they can fucking beat him, but that’s their dumbass mistake. Katsuki knows a challenge when he sees one, and he’s fucking accepting it. He’s gonna blast his way all the way through this stupid thicket, one way or another.
“Don’t follow me,” he says. “That’s what sets them off.” Fucking magic vines. Katsuki has no idea why they let him in but not any of the extras. Maybe they just recognise greatness when they see it. Whatever, now that Katsuki knows they’re trying to keep people out, he definitely needs to know if there’s anything worthwhile hidden inside.
BOOM
BOOM
BOOM
In between booms, Katsuki can hear Deku in the distance, explaining what’s going on with the entrance to the rest of them. Figured the fucking nerd would figure it out. He works his way deeper, the light getting dimmer as the tunnel to the entrance gets longer. There’s just – more vines. Always more fucking vines. He keeps the explosions as low-key as he can while still strong enough to blast through, but he’s still getting kinda tired. It’s warm, too – warmer than outside. It’s – fucking weird is what it is.
It’s been maybe twenty-five minutes of constant effort, and Katsuki’s starting to wonder if he’s just gonna make a hole all the way through and find that there really is nothing in here but fucking vines, when he sets off yet another explosion and suddenly – things get a little lighter. He blinks, wafting the smoke out of the way. Instead of more vines in front of him, there’s – space. And light. It’s not daylight, but something low and flickering, like firelight. He stares for a moment, then steps forward, into the space.
It’s almost like a room, a domed space within the vines, about the same size as the 1-A classroom, but walled by tangled vines and with that flickering light that has no source that Katsuki can see. There’s no furniture, nothing in the chamber at all except one thing, right in the middle: a long, stone platform, about a metre tall, and lying on it, a person.
“Holy shit,” Katsuki mutters. There’s a fucking person in here. He stumbles over to the platform. “Hey! Who the fuck are you?”
The person doesn’t answer. It’s a guy, about Katsuki’s age, dressed in something that looks like cosplay from a shitty movie about the Heian period or some shit. He has weird fucking hair, half of it red, the other half white, and an angry red scar that covers his left eye. The overall effect is extremely fucking bizarre, but also – somehow – pretty fucking hot. He’s also fucking sleeping, which, considering how much noise Katsuki’s been making seems pretty fucking impossible. Or – fuck, dead, maybe? Shit.
“Hey!” Katsuki says again, and shakes the guy by the shoulder. It’s cold. Fuck, maybe he is fucking dead. Katsuki leans over, putting his ear up close to the guy’s mouth, and after a second or two of holding his own breath, he feels a puff of warm air, slow and quiet. Katsuki swallows, mouth dry. Not that he really gives a shit if there’s a dead guy in the middle of the vines, but still. He’s a fucking hero, most of the time it’s better if people aren’t fucking dead.
“Wake up, asshole,” Katsuki says, grabbing both shoulders now and shaking. The right shoulder is still cold, but the left is – warm? Fuck, who the fuck is this guy? “Wake the fuck up, come on, I’m not carrying you out of here, asshole!”
The shaking just sets the guy’s head lolling on his neck and thumping against the stone, and giving the guy a brain injury (assuming he doesn’t have one already) is not on Katsuki’s to-do list, so he stops and opts for glaring instead. “The fuck is wrong with you?” he asks.
The guy doesn’t answer, just lies there sleeping. And hot. Not that Katsuki really gives a shit about how hot some comatose stranger is, but he really is fucking ridiculously hot. It kinda pisses Katsuki off.
Katsuki’s contemplating just hauling the guy out of there when his phone rings, startling in the thick, green air of the weird magic chamber or what the fuck ever. Not that magic exists, but this is definitely – weird.
“Bro!” Kirishima says when Katsuki answers. “You OK? You stopped exploding.”
“Yeah, just found the middle,” Katsuki says. “There’s some dumbass sleeping in here.”
“Huh? Sleeping?”
Katsuki snaps a picture and sends it to Kirishima. “Can’t wake him up. I’m gonna bring him out.”
“Sleeping Beauty, huh?” For some reason Dunce Face is now on the line, which, fucking Kirishima, what a fucking traitor. “Have you tried laying one on him?”
“Fuck off,” Katsuki says, and ends the call, shoving the phone in his pocket. “Fine, asshole,” he says to the half-and-half bastard. “Have it your fucking way.”
He gets his arms underneath the asshole’s back and knees and lifts. There’s definitely something screwy going on with this guy’s temperature, hot on one side, cold on the other, but the weight of him is solid in Katsuki’s arms and he’s breathing slow and steady, so it’s all good. He’s heavier than he looks – stupid kimono probably weighs a ton – but Katsuki’s fucking strong so no problems there.
There is a problem somewhere else, though, which Katsuki discovers as soon as he turns away from the platform and starts heading towards the tunnel. It’s fine for a couple of steps, but then Sleeping Asshole makes this slightly choked noise in Katsuki’s arms and – without any fucking warning, fucking hell – stops breathing.
“Hah?” says Katsuki. He shakes the asshole. “The fuck, breathe, idiot!”
The halfie does not breathe. His head’s lolling back, mouth slack and open. He looks – a lot paler than he did a second ago, like suddenly he’s getting sick. Or dying. Shit, or dead. Did Katsuki kill him by moving him? Shit, shit shit shit.
Katsuki turns back and lays the halfie on the platform again, ready to start CPR. But the moment he sets him down, the guy’s body kind of jerks and then he sucks in a breath, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. And then – back to nothing. Slow, steady breaths, no other sign of life, skin back to a colour a few shades more healthy than corpse white.
“Shit,” Katsuki says. His heart’s thundering in his chest, shit. “The fuck is wrong with you?”
But the guy doesn’t answer.
****
Bakugou Katsuki is all about solutions to fucking problems. Lucky for him, most problems that he actually gives a shit about can be solved by blowing something up and/or punching someone in the face, so overall he’s pretty well suited for the job.
Sleeping Asshole, on the other hand, is a fucking issue.
Katsuki tries yelling. He tries shaking. He tries knuckles on the sternum, pinching the ear, pulling off the bastard’s geta and poking the soles of his feet. He tries playing death metal from his phone. He tries Kaminari’s truly terrible singing. Nothing makes the slightest bit of difference. This stupid, hot, sleeping asshole just carries right on fucking sleeping like Katsuki’s not even there. And if there’s one thing Katsuki can’t stand, it’s being fucking ignored.
Katsuki also tries twice more to carry the guy out, but each time, he stops breathing a few seconds after Katsuki lifts him off the platform and starts again as soon as Katsuki puts him back. All of this is just – incredibly fucking frustrating.
“I fucking hate you,” he says to the half-n-half bastard, not for the first fucking time. Then his phone rings again, because the extras apparently need a constant running commentary of all the amazing fucking success Katsuki is having.
When he answers the phone, though, it’s Aizawa.
“Bakugou,” he says. “Midoriya’s told me what’s going on. It’s getting dark. Time to call it a night.”
“Hah?” Katsuki takes the phone away from his ear and stares at it. “What, and just leave this idiot here?”
“That’s right.” Aizawa might as well be directing traffic for all the interest in his voice. “I’ve been discussing with the faculty and it seems likely he’s been there for at least ten years. We’ll need to do some research, but I don’t think another night will make things any worse.”
Katsuki’s lip curls. There’s no way he’s gonna let these stupid plants win this one, no way. “I--”
“Bakugou. Get out here.”
“Fucking – fine!”
Katsuki shoves the phone back in his pocket and glares at Sleeping Asshole. “Don’t think this means you’ve won, Halfie.”
But the halfie doesn’t answer.
****
That night, Katsuki can’t sleep.
In the evening, all anyone can talk about is the weird guy sleeping in the weird vine forest (“magic vine forest”, says Dunce Face whenever he’s out of Katsuki’s reach). Deku’s feverishly doing research, muttering and scribbling, announcing his results to the room in general whenever he gets something, most of which seems to be fairy tale bullshit. Ashido’s somehow got hold of the picture Katsuki sent to Kirishima and is giggling about how hot the guy is – which, she’s not fucking wrong but it’s still fucking annoying. Glasses keeps making solemn pronouncements that Katsuki doesn’t listen to because fuck solemn pronouncements, the guy’s just a fucking asshole who won’t fucking wake up. And so even if he wanted to forget all about it – which he doesn’t, because it’s unfinished business and Katsuki is definitely going to fucking finish it – Katsuki wouldn’t have a hope in hell.
“You said Heian period?” says Deku for the fourteenth time. “Do you think--”
“No!” Katsuki says. “No, I do not think! I don’t think it’s magic, or time travel, or whatever the fuck you’re going to say next! It’s just some kind of shitty quirk and tomorrow I’m gonna un-shit it and then you can all shut the fuck up!”
“Oh, OK!” Deku says, starting to sweat a little. “Sorry!”
“Fuck’s sake,” Katsuki growls, then shoves his chair back. “I’m going to bed.”
But he can’t sleep.
It’s fucking – annoying, is what it is. Katsuki beat the bastard plants, so that should have been it. He already fucking won. But now – he can’t wake the stupid guy up, can’t get him out of there, no-one else can get in to help. And what Aizawa said keeps echoing in his head. It seems likely he’s been there for at least ten years. Like, what the fuck? How is he still alive? Why is he wearing that shitty outfit? What kind of ridiculous fucking quirk produces a situation like this?
It’s two a.m. before Katsuki finally dozes off, and he’s awake again before six, glaring at the dim light falling through his window as the sky starts to lighten in the east. This is so – fucking annoying.
Fuck it.
****
Katsuki makes it to the north-east corner of campus before the sun has fully cleared the horizon. The giant pile of asshole vegetation is still there, the tunnel Katsuki made still open. And the guy? Katsuki taps his fingers against his thigh, wondering if he’ll still be there. Maybe he woke up and fucked off in the night. Maybe he just vanished. Maybe he fucking died. Fuck.
“Fuck,” says Katsuki, and steps inside.
He needs the phone flashlight to guide him, with it not yet being full light outside, but after a few minutes of walking he starts to see the flickering glow up ahead. He feels – weird, like he’s nervous or something. Which he obviously is not, because why the fuck would he be? He’s not fucking Deku. He just needs to – wake this guy up. He needs to finish this fucking business.
Katsuki steps out into the chamber in the middle of the vines and everything’s – the same. The flickering light, the close, green air, the asshole sleeping in the middle of it all. Something kind of loosens in his chest, and he coughs. Must be the weird change in humidity or some shit.
“Wake up, asshole,” he says, approaching the platform.
The asshole does not wake up. Katsuki stares at him – the slow, almost imperceptible rise and fall of his chest; the eyelashes outlined against his cheek, one set white, the other red; the fall of hair across his forehead. Fuck, he fucking hates this guy. What is his fucking problem?
“Wake up!” he says again, grabbing the halfie’s shoulders and shaking him hard. There’s a thump as the asshole’s head hits the platform and Katsuki snarls. “Fucking wake up! What is wrong with you, you lazy fucking bastard!”
No response. Katsuki stands, fists clenched at his sides. He feels – helpless. And he fucking hates that. Fucking hates it.
For some reason, at that moment, Dunce Face’s voice pops into his head. Have you tried laying one on him? He wouldn’t even think about it except for all Deku’s stupid research last night, the one story that kept coming up over and over. A fucking fairy tale, fucking bullshit for kids and idiots, fuck’s sake. But Katsuki’s out of ideas and – fuck it, it’s not like anyone would ever know anyway.
“This is stupid,” he growls.
Then he leans over and presses his lips to the halfie’s.
Nothing happens. Well, nothing except that Katsuki notices how soft the bastard’s lips are, so fucking weird, partly warm, partly cool. He closes his eyes a second, just – not really thinking about anything except that, the weird sensation. It’s not bad, it’s just – weird.
Then he realises what he’s doing and pulls back, staring at the halfie’s face. Still sleeping. Still, it was worth a--
The halfie’s eyelashes flutter slightly and Katsuki pauses in the act of pulling back, staring, his face only inches away. Another flutter. And then: the asshole opens his eyes and Katsuki thinks huh. One of them’s blue and the other’s grey. The guy really is a half-n-half bastard. And – he really is awake, awake and staring up at Katsuki. Also, fuck, he’s even hotter with his eyes open.
Then the halfie punches him in the face, and after that Katsuki has other shit to worry about.