Chapter Text
It is an honest mistake, really.
They just got home from a fan sign and Seungmin is exhausted. He loves talking to the fans and goofing around with the other members, but after having to stay bright and energetic and having to smile and engage with everyone for a couple of hours, he’s ready for some quiet time.
He’s grabbing some snacks and getting prepared to binge-watch Avatar the Last Airbender. He’s so lost in his thoughts, thinking about all of the blankets he’s going to pile himself under and how nice his noise-canceling headphones are going to be, and admittedly, he’s a little bit zoned out because he’s so tired, that he only catches snippets of the conversation going on at the kitchen table between Jisung, Minho, and Hyunjin.
“-don’t worry.”
“-looked cute.”
“No, but the fans-”
“-your aegyo-”
As he’s walking out of the kitchen, he barely manages to piece together that they’re talking about the aegyo Jisung did for the fans today. Seungmin’s not going to lie, Jisung was adorable. That’s not a surprise, he finds most things Jisung does adorable anyway. But he can’t just say that or he’ll get teased endlessly for it, just like Chan and Changbin do anytime they fawn over another member. So he figures he’ll make fun of Jisung about it a little bit, everyone knows that’s his way of showing his love anyways.
“Sungie is dumb,” he says in, what he thinks is, a teasing tone, giggling quietly to himself as he walks away.
He doesn’t notice the way the room goes completely silent until he’s out of the room and halfway down the hall. But then his brain catches up to the lull in conversation, and, that’s weird, he thinks, it’s never quiet here . It startles him enough to blink the sleepiness out of his eyes.
He takes a moment to evaluate the previous conversation a little bit more. His eyes widen in horror as he realizes that his sing-song tone definitely didn’t match the reassuring one of Minho and Hyunjin. And if he thinks hard enough, he can remember the distressed scent Jisung was putting out and he can smell wafts of hurt coming from him now, so he definitely misjudged what they were talking about.
He stops abruptly and turns around to walk back and apologize to Jisung. But before he can take another step, Minho comes striding out of the kitchen, fixing him with a hard gaze. He stops right in front of him, seemingly looming over him even though Seungmin’s an inch or two taller. “What’s going on pup?” He says, and it sounds like a growl.
Seungmin really didn’t mean to. He didn’t know what they were talking about, and under normal circumstances, Jisung would’ve laughed and done some more aegyo to annoy him and it all would’ve been fine. He tries to tell Minho this but under Minho’s sharp eyes, he can’t do anything but stare nervously at the ground.
“You know not to take your emotions out on other people, Seungmin. You’ve never done it before. What’s wrong?” Minho prompts again, but Seungmin can already feel his lungs getting tighter and his vision going out of focus so he just shakes his head. “Pup?”
Seungmin just barely stops himself from flinching when Minho sighs. “Go to our room, I’ll be there to handle your punishment in a minute.” He says, tone softening for a second, “color?”
“Green,” Seungmin answers quickly, not wanting to irritate his dom any further.
Minho nods, “okay, tell me if that changes,” and then he heads back to the kitchen, leaving Seungmin frozen in the hallway.
The thing is, Seungmin hates punishments, absolutely detests them. He hates the disapproval that comes with them, the lingering guilt, the feeling like he has to make it up to the person for days afterward. The whole thing is just so emotionally exhausting, and Seungmin hates it.
The only thing he hates more than punishments is breaking rules. And he’s been oh-so-careful not to break any of theirs while he’s been a part of this pack. Not that they had that many rules he could break, but that didn’t stop Seungmin from being extremely diligent in following them.
They’re written down on some loose-leaf paper, hidden beneath schedules, reminders, and photos on their fridge, but Seungmin has them memorized by heart. Their rules were: Don’t be mean to anyone. If you have an issue with another pack member, talk it out respectfully or get someone else to help mediate. Respect other people’s boundaries and make sure you ask before doing something new. Respect your own boundaries and be sure to communicate them. Use the traffic light system any time dominance and submission are present. Do your fair share of the chores. If you stay out late, tell someone where you are and when you think you’ll get back. (This is the only one Seungmin messed up. His phone died while he was stuck in torrential downpour across town with no ride home.) Take care of yourself.
Every pack is different with rules and punishments. For them, their rules operate sort of like guidelines. When they first started their pack, they all sat down and discussed the things they would need to do to be a healthy pack. They talked over how living together would work, how settling conflicts would work, and how dominance and submission would work. It was just the general stuff of living together and having a relationship.
They created a rule sheet of the things that were the most important to them, and they’re supposed to follow them, but breaking a rule doesn't usually lead to a punishment. Sometimes people are forgetful (Jisung), or get caught up in work (Chan), or are afraid to ask for help (Felix), so they’re understanding of the situation.
Plus, a punishment isn’t always going to help. Minho can spank Changbin for days after he stays out late working on their newest album and it won’t make Changbin’s workload any lighter. Chan can take away Jisung’s switch after another argument with Hyunjin and it won’t change the fact that he’s just stressed and needs some alone time. There’s usually a discussion when someone breaks a rule, but punishments are only given when the person wants a punishment.
When someone does want a punishment, it’s usually because they’re feeling guilty or out of control. It can help to hand the reins over to someone else and slip into subspace for a while. Most of the time, it’s the subs and switches of the group--Hyunjin, Jisung, Felix, and Jeongin--getting punished, as they need to go into subspace more often, but it can be good for the doms too. (Changbin asks for punishments all the time and Chan gets punished often enough that there’s no stigma against a dom getting punished.) Most of the time, they talk over what happened beforehand to make sure the packmate needs or wants the punishment first.
Sometimes an action automatically leads to a punishment, but Seungmin can never keep track of when.
Sometimes Felix will stay out late practicing and yell at Changbin and that’ll lead right to a paddling. Sometimes Jeongin will do it and he’ll get cuddles and hot chocolate as he talks it out. Sometimes Minho will forget to eat for a day and he’ll get put in a harness but Chan won’t eat a full meal for a week and they’ll make a big, home-cooked feast for him at the end.
Seungmin doesn’t understand it, so just to be safe, he doesn’t break any rules ever. That way he can’t get punished.
Except now.
As Minho walks away, Seungmin stands frozen, with the realization that this is happening, he’s getting punished for the first time. There’s nothing he can do to stop it.
He feels a sort of pressure building in his chest as he turns around and heads back to his room. He wishes he had the stomach to explain that he didn’t mean to trigger Jisung’s insecurities. He was just so tired that he didn’t understand the context, that was all. But with that cold, blank look on Minho’s face, Seungmin just couldn’t.
When Minho gets mad, really mad, he goes silent. No loud shouting, no big gestures, just an icy, forbidding glare, a low tone, and impersonal touches. A part of Seungmin thinks Minho gets so cold because he wants to protect the rest of them. It’s as if he's distancing himself from the situation so he doesn’t say anything hurtful. It’s just that Seungmin doesn’t do well with that particular brand of anger. It dredges up bad memories and emotions that he’d rather not relive.
So when Minho gets mad, Seungmin leaves. And if Minho gets mad at him, Seungmin just does what he thinks Minho wants so he can stall until another pack member can resolve the situation. Today, the only other people home are Hyunjin and Jisung and he just accidentally insulted one of them, so it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.
The knot in his chest gets tighter as he walks into his, Hyunjin, and Minho’s shared room and sits on his bed.
It’s not like he doesn’t understand why he’s being punished. Jisung’s self-doubts and insecurities are something they’ve been trying to work on for a long time. He’s gone from silently thinking everyone secretly hates him to being able to ask for reassurance when he needs it. A big part of that is the trust they’ve built up through lots of praise and very carefully worded criticism, and Seungmin has undoubtedly set him back by completely breaking that trust in a moment of vulnerability. Even if he apologizes, Jisung will still be more hesitant in the future. So he understands, he does.
It’s just that he really really didn’t mean to and he doesn’t think a punishment will help him.
But then again, is it fair to Jisung if he isn’t punished?
Probably not. That’s probably why Minho had just gone straight to punishment. He had fucked up so bad that he didn’t get a pre-punishment discussion. That makes sense.
He runs his fingers anxiously over his comforter as he resigns himself to this fact. He’s doing this for Jisung, for Minho too actually. If Seungmin made him mad and then pulled out at the last second, he wouldn’t have anywhere to put that anger. And that wouldn’t be fair of Seungmin to do.
So yeah, this is for Jisung and Minho. Maybe Hyunjin too, if he is also mad at Seungmin. For his packmates, this is for his packmates.
By the time Minho comes back, Seungmin feels like he’s going to throw up. He’s taking deep breaths through his mouth when he hears the click of the doorknob being turned. Another sharp pain seizes his chest as Minho quietly steps in and walks right past him to set a cup on the dresser, not even glancing at him. He takes another breath and steels himself for what’s about to happen.
“Do you know why you’re being punished, pup?” Minho asks, back turned to Seungmin as he messes with something on the dresser. If Seungmin was in a better state of mind, he would think to peek at what Minho’s doing, but right now he can only focus on the disapproval coming off of Minho in waves.
He nods as he quietly whispers, “yes, hyung.”
Minho clicks his tongue in displeasure and turns around to fix Seungmin with a pointed look. “That’s not enough, Minnie. You need to tell hyung why you’re being punished, so we know we’re on the same page.”
Seungmin’s chest seizes. Was this another rule? One that he didn’t know? He thought the best route would be to only speak when spoken to and to speak as little as possible. That’s been his go-to strategy before, but this is different and it throws him completely off-kilter. (Mentally, he jots the new rule down to memorize later: when asked if you know why you’re being punished, say why you’re being punished.) But he’s never been punished before. He didn’t know. How many other rules apply to punishments that he just doesn’t know? How many times is he going to mess up again during this punishment?
Fuck, he still hasn’t answered and he can see Minho growing more impatient with each passing second.
“I’m being punished because I said Jisung is dumb, hyung.” He says, staring at Minho’s shoes. That is another rule, don’t make eye contact with your dom, it’s disrespectful. That one isn’t written down anywhere, but Seungmin knows better. That’s just an unspoken rule that everyone everywhere follows so it applies here too.
“Good boy, Seungmin.” Minho praises, but Seungmin knows that he’s just saying that because he’s Minho, and Minho is kind. He doesn’t mean it, Seungmin won’t be a good boy again until this punishment is over.
Minho walks back over to the dresser, turning his back on Seungmin again. “It’s not okay to be mean to people, Minnie, especially because Jisung was already hurting. Now, I know this isn’t normal behavior for you, so I think something’s up. And that’s okay, it’s okay if something’s wrong. But it’s not okay to take it out on someone else.” He turns back around, this time with the cup in hand. “Do you know what this is?” He tilts the cup down so Seungmin can see the tiny grains of rice piled inside.
Seungmin feels his stomach sinking. “Rice, hyung.”
“Do you know how I’m going to use it?”
“You’re going to pour it on the floor and I’m going to kneel on it, hyung.” Seungmin answers, already shifting his knees uncomfortably.
“Do you know why I’m using this as your punishment?”
A flash of panic runs through Seungmin. He doesn’t know, is he supposed to know? Is this another unwritten rule of punishments that he hasn’t caught onto?
He must take too long to answer because Minho cuts in before he figures it out. “This is one of Jisung’s favorite punishments. And because you took your emotions out on him I’m going to use it on you.”
Seungmin squeezes his eyes shut to stop the dread from consuming him.
He knows that when Minho says favorite, he doesn’t mean that Jisung actually enjoys this. He means that Jisung enjoys the peace it brings afterward. Everyone’s a little different when it comes to which punishments settle them the most. For Hyunjin and Changbin, it’s pain and humiliation. For Minho and Chan, it’s restraint and bondage. For Jeongin, it’s his doms having control over basic aspects of his life (eating, sleeping, electronics). And for Felix and Jisung, it’s a combination.
But it makes sense that this type of punishment would settle Jisung. Kneeling on rice gives him pain that builds, without a sharp impact that would startle him out of subspace. He also has the presence of a dom next to him, watching over him but staying just barely in his line of vision so he doesn’t get distracted. For Jisung, it’s comfortable to have that authority figure there, he feels protected. So Seungmin understands why Jisung likes this type of punishment, it’s just right now, it’s the exact opposite of what he needs.
With Minho in his line of sight, he’ll be able to feel the looming presence of the beta, so he’ll feel threatened, but he won’t be able to see enough of Minho to keep track of how mad he is, so he won’t know what he’s supposed to do to quell that anger. It’ll leave him feeling entirely exposed in a moment where he’s already vulnerable. The rice will be a constant distraction too, keeping him focused on the unrelenting pain and distracted from Minho’s reactions.
He could’ve dealt with a spanking. He could’ve tuned it out if Minho tied him up to restrain him. Letting Minho have control over when he ate actually might’ve been nice. (Minho would’ve just made sure he ate three healthy meals a day with plenty of snacks in between and it might’ve been nice to not worry about getting enough healthy food for once.) Humiliation would’ve been less fun but he could’ve just spaced out for that punishment and let Minho do what he wanted. But this, being unable to watch for Minho’s approval, that’s the one thing he doesn’t know how to deal with.
He still has his eyes closed when the sound of Minho pouring the rice on the floor fills the room. He tries to stop his hands from shaking, from looking so nervous. Minho won’t like it if he has to stop because Seungmin looks so scared. “You’re going to kneel here for ten minutes. I’m going to sit on my bed, I’ll be with you the whole time and I want you to safeword if you need to. Do you remember your safewords?”
“Green for everything’s okay. Yellow for pause and check-in. Red to stop the scene entirely.” Safewords are very important to their pack. When they initially sat down to discuss how dominance and submission would tie into their relationship, the first thing Chan did was establish safewords. He had told them that regardless of what they are doing--whether it is the middle of an intense scene, a sexual encounter, or even mild dominance and submission while cuddling--if it involves dynamics, the ability to safeword is guaranteed. So even though Seungmin doesn’t get up to sexy time with his packmates very often, he knows how they work. He’s slipped into subspace often enough under Minho and Hyunjin’s guidance, and he’s helped Felix slip often enough that he’s very familiar with the concept.
Now just doesn’t seem like the time to safeword though. Sure he’s terrified, and kind of can’t breathe, and would rather have any other punishment than the one Minho’s going to give him, but that’s kind of the point right? So that he doesn’t do it again. He’s not supposed to like punishments, otherwise, it wouldn’t be a punishment. It’s his fault Minho’s angry, so it’s his job to calm Minho down, and Minho will calm down if he gets to punish Seungmin. So he doesn’t get to safeword here. He’s not in any danger, he’s just a little scared and that’s normal. It wouldn’t be fair to Minho to safeword.
“So smart, cub,” Minho’s praise interrupts his train of thought. He walks back over to Seungmin and threads his fingers through his hair, pulling his head up to look at him. Seungmin quickly blinks his eyes open before Minho can notice he had them squeezed shut and ignores the part of his brain that screams wrong wrong wrong , and makes eye contact. Minho’s gaze is soft and that confuses Seungmin because a second ago he had that distant, angry look, but now he’s being sweet and Seungmin can’t keep track anymore. “What’s your color right now?”
“Green, hyung,” Seungmin says, feeling the first tendrils of subspace creeping up on him at the gentle touch. He tries to blink that away, he shouldn’t fall into subspace right now, he needs to make sure he doesn’t anger Minho any further.
“Good boy, puppy.” He says softly, then grabs Seungmin’s hand to pull him off his bed. Seungmin feels his head go fuzzier and digs his nails into his palm to snap himself out of it. Now’s not the time for subspace.
Seungmin suddenly feels Minho’s grip loosen and he looks up to check his expression. The blank look is back. He’s slipped back into icy reservation. Seungmin unconsciously digs his nails in harder to his palm. Did he do something wrong? What happened to the soft look and sweet words? Why is Minho silent again?
Minho wordlessly helps Seungmin kneel on the ground, touches gentle, but impersonal, almost clinical.
Maybe it was the eye contact, Seungmin wonders as he settles onto the rough grains. Maybe it was a test to see if he would stick to the rules and he failed. Another unspoken rule to add to the list: never make eye contact during a punishment, even when prompted. Another rule he broke.
Seungmin shifts around once he’s kneeled down all of the way. It’s not painful yet, just uncomfortable. He’s wearing shorts, so the rice keeps sticking to his bare skin and overlapping every time he moves and he can already tell it’s going to hurt a lot later.
When he settles down and stops shifting, Minho’s touch leaves him and he feels the first part of himself crack. Minho’s touches weren’t overly comforting, but they were gentle and warm. He feels the tips of his fingers start to go cold at the loss, an icy static that creeps up his arms from there.
The static starts to creep up on his brain as he watches Minho walk away from him until only his feet are in his line of vision. It’s disorientating at first but quickly morphs into the feeling of being completely exposed, like Minho’s going to snap and smash something on his head when he’s not looking, while he can’t defend himself. Logically, he knows he’s fine. Minho would never do that. But he can’t shut out the part of his brain that’s screaming at him to turn around and check.
“Your time starts now,” Minho says from somewhere behind him. He glances at the clock. 10:17 PM. Ten minutes, it’s only ten minutes. 10:27 PM, that’s when he’s done. He can do this.
Minho isn’t breathing loudly or particularly harshly, so he’s not boiling over with anger right now. And if he focuses on his scent, it smells sour but not sharp, so if Minho is disappointed in him, at least it’s not an overwhelming amount of disappointment. He can probably get back into good standing after this punishment. Get Minho’s approval, regain Jisung’s trust, and overcome the disappointment of his pack. He'll be able to do it. He just needs to get through this punishment first. That’s step one.
He shifts uncomfortably and looks at the clock again. 10:18 PM.
He just needs to get through this punishment.