Work Text:
Amidst rose bushes and peonies sitting in the ground while absent-minded watching random videos on a tablet, Tim tried very hard not to fall into a very common behavior of his family: brooding. Not like he had any special reason or any sort of concrete motivation to be thoughtful, sad and kinda cranky. He just was, period. The day was bad to the point that even breakfast was enough to make it awful.
(There were no more pancakes)
If anyone asked, Tim would blame something that may or may not have happened during his night job.
The only thing Tim knew amid the maelstrom of uncontrollable emotions boiling inside was that everything was too different, even if he couldn’t specify exactly what was different. Could it be the kitchen? The food? Study room’s new wallpaper? The younger brother he had gained almost two years ago or the older brother that was suddenly back?
Anyhow, there was too much stuff on his plate and sitting amidst the roses and peonies gave Tim a little bit of tranquility that allowed him to breathe for a while.
Tim was so lost in his thoughts, with his breathing minimally controlled when he first heard a meow. Low and insecure, far and hidden. At first he thought about ignoring the bothering noise (that was what those meowings seemed like to him right now), but eventually he decided to get up and see where it was coming from.
The kitten was small and with its eyes still closed, all white with gray spots. Probably it had no more than five days and was alone in a nest inside of a beardtongue stump. Although it was all alone, Tim was sure it had a mother that was taking care of it, thus, Tim backed away and decided to observe from a little afar to see if the mother cat would come back.
In the short while he sat there waiting, hidden, was what he needed to calm down and when the gray mother cat came back and took care of her baby, Tim smiled in relief as the meows soon got quieter and quieter until they completely stopped.
“Where do you think she came from?” Tim didn't hear Damian’s arrival, so he got really startled hearing the voice behind him. Damian went on. “You need to practice your spatial perception.”
Tim just rolled his eyes and shrugged. He didn’t feel like talking at the moment.
“She gave birth three days ago, but I’ve been feeding her around a month now. Mother cat looks like she doesn't have even a year, according to my research.”
So that was what his brother had been up to recently, Tim thought. It was clear Damian had found a new interest, but no one at the house found out what it was.
Damian sat with his legs crossed beside Tim, near the garden’s adjacent path and took a little cat treat packet from his pocket. Mother cat promptly got up, licked her baby and came straight towards Damian, who reached out his hand with a bit of food to her. Before taking her treat, the cat glared at Tim and hissed suspiciously, although the trust she had in Damian got the better out of her against the fear of that stranger and she approached slowly, hitting Damian’s hand with her head to get some pats before eating her treats.
“I wish I could adopt her.” Damian muttered while scratching the cat’s chin. “But I doubt Father will allow it.”
Tim looked at his brother as if he was facing a madman. Bruce felt guilty beyond measure for not being in his younger son’s life and was way too permissible to him and that little idiot of a kid was saying something this absurd? “If you wanted a damn zoo he would give you one, Damian.”
The boy’s eyes widened, marveled with the perspective of having a zoo. “Do you really think so?!” he chirped, much more enthusiastic. But due to no response being given, he snarled. “Then you wonder why I dislike you.”
“Sure, as if you need a reason to.”
The kid inflated his cheeks, a very childish gesture that almost got Tim smiling, and then he angrily rose up. “With your excuse.” Damian spat and left.
Back to being alone without the cat’s company or the kitten’s soft meowing (both were now hidden among the beardtongues, fast asleep), Tim believed that finally he would have calm and peace. He stayed where he was, since there he was able to see the cats sleeping silhouette and tried to get back to his tablet.
But this time his mind could only go back to think about his little brother. Not like he was feeling exactly guilty for being unable to have a proper chat with him seconds ago, he was in a very difficult moment and talking was especially hard, but he wondered if during all this time he gave Damian even a chance to get closer. Ok, right after the kid arrived he tried to kill him, but that was a product of Damian’s traumatic childhood, not any particularly vile intention or cruelty of the boy himself.
With all the fight they had about the Robin’s mantle and the harshness and violence that Damian had shown in his first months in Gotham it was very difficult not to look at him and think about that. And it was also very easy to ignore his recent improvements.
The same was Jason’s situation.
Before giving any chance, Tim needed to decide if he wanted to get closer or if he wasn't yet ready for that; and that would do for both his brothers. It was so much easier when it was just him, Dick and Bruce. Tim knew how to deal, knew his place in the family and above all, he trusted his family. Now he had none of that. He didn’t know how to act, nor what to expect and couldn’t trust in half of what should be his family. In fact, he wasn’t even sure if he was part of that family at all.
He thought about that because he was just temporarily using the mantle of Robin before someone came up. And now that Damian and Jason were around, Tim felt like he had no place there.
The tablet layed there forgotten over some fallen leaves, untouched. Tim held his knees to his chest, pondering. His eyes gazed somewhere, but had no focus. He just wanted things to go back to what they were before, but at the same time he didn’t know if that meant that neither Jason nor Damian existed or not. And even if he knew what he wanted, the fact was that the both of them were part of his family and there was not much he could do about it. But there was something he could do. Even if Tim didn’t know how to act about it, he had a few choices. Whether sulk forever over it or to give the first step to cross his half of that bridge. Yet he didn’t know how to do that as well.
Tim tried to get back to his meditation, using breathing techniques that Bruce taught him a few years ago. That was when he felt short steps getting closer and a light meow. Then the steps became light and careful as they got closer.
“I spoke to Pennyworth about what I did that was incorrect in our interaction earlier.” Damian began, sitting besieged him on the exact same spot as before. This time, the young boy had a notebook and a pen in his hands, that he stretched out to him once he opened his eyes and relaxed from his meditation posture. The mother cat came near Damian again, greeting him with gentle head bumps in his hand after smelling it for a bit and then hushed to her kitten again. After stroking her fur and watching her go, Damian went on, noticing his older brother's hesitation. “He said sometimes it’s hard for you to talk, so I brought paper and pen, I hope it helps.”
This time Tim took the notebook and opened it, inspecting the thick leaves and the fine tip of the expensive pen he had in his hands. Those were obviously part of Damian’s drawing kit, not some random thing he found around. That time, I wanted to tell you that Bruce would give you anything you asked him for , Tim wrote carefully.
“Oh. So do you think that I could adopt the little cat and her kitten?”
I guess so. No harm in asking.
Tim smiled. there was really something he could do after all.