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Almost silent steps in the room woke Duo, but he recognized the tread a moment later and snuggled back into bed, ready to sink into a deeper sleep now that Bucky was home and safe.
Bucky leaned over him, pressed a kiss to his forehead. The familiar scents of work—oil, gunpowder, leather, sweat, blood—filled Duo’s sinuses. “I know you’re awake,” he murmured, barely a whisper in the night.
“Going back to sleep,” Duo replied in an equally low voice.
“Think you can stay awake for ten minutes so I can grab a quick shower?”
Pulling his pillow into a higher mound, Duo opened his eyes. Bucky was as dirty and grimy as he smelled, but it wasn’t a bad thing, just the sign of a hard mission. “Hmm…” he said, “that might be a lot to ask.”
Taking Duo’s chin in his fingers, Bucky tilted his head up and leaned down again to kiss him softly on the mouth. He tasted of salt and his scruff tickled, longer than he usually let it get. It had been a long month. “I’ll make it worth it.”
Duo chuckled softly. “You’d better,” he said, shoving Bucky toward the bathroom. He fluffed the pillow under him further as Bucky left, propping himself up better. It was difficult not to let the hum of the shower lull him back to sleep, but it had been a solid month—first with Duo being on assignment, then Bucky dealing with something—since they’d seen each other, and his body was readily perking up at the promise of reconnection.
Taking what must have been one of the quickest showers known to man, followed by one of the fastest shaves, at ten minutes on the dot, Bucky came back into the bedroom, dressed only in a towel, hair still damp.
The light in the room was low, but Duo’s eyes were well-adjusted enough to it that he quickly searched his lover’s body for signs of new injuries. No new scars, not even any new cuts were bandaged. There was a noticeable bruise on Bucky’s good shoulder, but it was already yellowing and turning green. Duo doubted it’d still be there in the morning at all.
Pausing a few feet from the bed, Bucky put his hands on his hips. “What? Still all tangled up in bed?”
Smiling, Duo curled the blankets tighter around him. “I’m comfy,” he said with a hint of a pout. Then he leered. “Besides, you like unwrapping me.”
With a grin, Bucky dropped the towel, showing that he was already more than a little interested. Trying not to laugh, Duo pulled the covers tighter around him as Bucky approached, looming, teasing, as if he were going to attack, though he did a terrible job of keeping the smile off his face as he grabbed the blankets in his metal hand and yanked.
“Hey, no fair!” Duo said, the words colored with laughter as he was rolled onto his back.
Bucky braced a knee at Duo’s hip, then leaned over him, his flesh hand sliding up under Duo’s shirt. It wasn’t hard—he was sleeping in Bucky’s shirt so it was huge on him. He saw the heat grow in Bucky’s eyes as he realized it.
“Do you know what seeing you in my clothes does to me?” he asked, voice going a little lower, more growly. Duo loved it when he made Bucky sound like that.
Raising his hands to settle them on Bucky’s shoulders, Duo spread his legs wider and looked up at him from under his lashes. “I might,” he said.
That earned him a kiss, one almost surprisingly tender, one they both smiled into, laughed even more when Duo nipped at Bucky’s lip playfully, sliding a hand into still-damp hair.
“Brushed your teeth for me,” Duo commented, helpfully lifting his hips as Bucky used his metal hand to work Duo’s underwear off.
“You didn’t,” Bucky teased. Duo dropped his hips, but it probably helped Bucky to finish pulling his underwear off more than hindered it.
“I brushed before I went to bed, soldier boy. Which was hours ago.”
Bucky kissed him again, lightly, smiling too much to do more. “So you say.”
Duo laughed. “Big words for a man expecting to get laid after waking me up.”
Shifting more fully between Duo’s legs, Bucky both ducked his head under Duo’s chin to kiss at that spot at the join of his jaw that always made Duo weak and reached for the lube on the nightstand. Multitasking jerk. Duo let out the most embarrassing little gasp when Bucky sucked on that spot, but it had the bonus effect of making Bucky chuckle, so he couldn’t keep at it for long.
“I missed you, “ he said, then placed another kiss on the underside of Duo’s chin, his freshly shaved stubble scratching at Duo’s throat in a way that made his body light up in anticipation these days.
“Now you’re gonna try to sweet talk me?” Duo asked, but instead of teasing, this time it came out breathy. The sounds of Bucky lubing up his hand were loud in the quiet of their room.
A finger teased at Duo’s hole before pressing in gently. Duo sighed into the feeling, relaxing in anticipation. Fuck, but he loved being one with his partner.
“You love being sweet-talked,” Bucky replied, pumping his finger in and out almost lazily.
Impatient, Duo hitched his hips. “I would like it more if you didn’t only try to sweet talk me to get out of trouble.”
“Am I in trouble?” He rubbed up against Duo’s prostate, stealing Duo’s words with a gasp.
He did it three more times, till Duo planted his foot on that big target of a chest to push away from Bucky. He didn’t manage to get away when Bucky locked his metal hand around Duo’s hip, but he laughed and stopped torturing Duo’s prostate.
“Fucking tease,” Duo complained, though Bucky’s amusement made it hard to stay annoyed. “Quit playing and fuck me already.”
Letting go of Duo’s waist, he lifted Duo’s right leg to rest on his shoulder, turning to kiss the sensitive skin on the inside of his thigh as he pressed another finger into him. Groaning, Duo said, “I said ‘fuck me,’ not ‘tease me.’”
He was definitely going to have a huge hickey on his thigh. A little bit of beardburn too. It was absolutely going to turn him on a little every time it twinged, which Bucky knew.
“I don’t want to fuck you though,” Bucky said, taking his time, opening up Duo even though he really didn’t need it. Even though they hadn’t fucked in a month, Duo body was accustomed to Bucky, and he sort of liked the little bit of pain that came from being just a little under prepped. A could have fooled me quip was on the tip of Duo’s tongue when Bucky continued, “I want to make love to you.”
Duo’s heart leapt into his throat, but before he could find any response to that, Bucky rubbed both fingers against his prostate, making him arch and cry out. When he finally relented, Duo gasped, “Not fair… can’t just… spring that on… a guy.”
“That I love you?” He rubbed at Duo’s prostate again, and Duo was so close—so close—and he was also almost angry. Bucky both pressed on Duo’s prostate and kissed him, swallowing Duo’s moan.
Tearing his mouth away from Bucky, Duo said, “You asshole—”
“I’m going to be in your asshole?”
He pulled his fingers out and added a third. Duo was not amused at the terrible pun.
“You just dropped that on me—”
“You can’t tell me you didn’t know—”
“That’s not the—” point, he meant to finish, but apparently Bucky decided more prostate abuse was on the menu because he twisted his wrist, drove his knuckles into it, and as good as kicked Duo over the cliff of his orgasm, bending down just in time to swallow it down. The intensity of both the internal stimulation and Bucky’s mouth on his dick was soon too much, and it wasn’t long before he was squirming and shoving him off.
When Bucky let him go, he sat up and pulled his knees in to him. His body still buzzed with the aftermath of his orgasm, but he was shaken to his core.
Slowly, Bucky reached out for him, gave Duo time to back away. The temptation was strong, but Duo stayed still, let Bucky cradle his face in both hands. How long had it taken for Bucky to get comfortable touching him with both hands? Before he was truly convinced that Duo didn’t see the artificial arm as anything but a part of him, that he didn’t fear it?
He leaned forward, pulling Duo forward till their foreheads met. “I know you can’t say it back,” he said, softly, for Duo’s ears alone, as if there were anyone else to overhear. “I don’t need you to say it back. I needed to tell you.” He let go of Duo’s face, stroked his hands down Duo’s shoulders. Two strong hands: one flesh, one metal, both so achingly tender with him.
“During sex?” Duo asked, not sure if he should be amused or angry.
“When better?” Bucky asked, emotion making his voice crack slightly.
Duo laughed, but it held no humor. It was the kind of laugh you made when the only other option was to cry. “You know that I can’t—”
The flesh hand ran over Duo’s hair. “I already told you, I know—”
“I don’t know that I ever—”
The metal hand tugged on his hip, pulling him into Bucky’s lap. Duo could no more resist Bucky’s pull than the tide could the moon’s.
“I don’t need you to,” Bucky reassured.
“But you deserve—”
“I just want you,” Bucky said, placing a gentle kiss on Duo’s lips when he opened them to argue again. Then he moved his lips across Duo’s jaw, tickling, intimate. “I love you. Love your humor. Your laugh. Your cleverness. I love your willingness to do what you think is right, no matter how hard.”
“Bucky.” Duo bared his neck for Bucky to work his way down as he murmured the words. He was reminded that although he’d come, Bucky hadn’t, but nothing about the way Bucky touched him was any more demanding than his words. If Duo said no tonight, Bucky would let him go.
He had no desire to say no. This time, he took Bucky’s face in his hands, lifted his head, kissed him. Kissed him hard, with teeth and tongue, claiming Bucky’s mouth as though he were trying to steal his breath.
“I need you,” Duo breathed against his mouth, barely separating enough to be heard before he kissed him again. He lifted up in Bucky’s lap enough for him to position himself at Duo’s entrance. As soon as Duo felt the head at his rim, he sank down, wanting it inside of him, wanting to be connected in that way with Bucky. This position wasn’t the deepest or the easiest, but, in some ways, Duo thought it was the most intimate. The one where he felt most connected.
They kissed, rocking together slowly, the angle one that rubbed Duo in all his favorite ways. Hands stoked everywhere they could reach, though Bucky left him in his shirt. The shoulder bared by the too-large collar received a great deal of attention when they had to break to breathe.
At some point, Bucky must have worked his hair free, because it tumbled over his shoulders, tickled between them as the thrusts gained momentum, grew deeper, more purposeful.
“Bucky,” Duo gasped, feeling another orgasm building.
Tangling his flesh hand in Duo’s hair—he was always so careful with the metal hand and its tiny crevices—he gripped the back of Duo’s neck, pressing their foreheads together as his thrusts gained more force. “Me too,” he rasped, and hearing Bucky like that—knowing he was the reason Bucky sounded like that—had always wound Duo up.
“Come inside,” Duo told him. Not that they’d bothered with a condom, not tonight, but Bucky was usually considerate enough to pull out when they didn’t. Tonight, Duo didn’t want that distance. He felt Bucky tremble in his arms. “Come inside me. Fill me. Claim me.” With every word he said, Bucky’s thrusts grew harder, sharper, as if trying to carve a place for himself inside of Duo. “Make me yours,” Duo gasped, their mouths close enough for the words to whisper across Bucky’s lips.
As if he couldn’t help it, as if he needed to, Bucky kissed him, and came. All of it—the warmth of Bucky’s skin, the taste of his mouth, the coolness of the metal arm, the scent of soap and sweat, the faint traces of toothpaste tinged with salt, the grip of his hand in Duo’s hair, the way he filled Duo utterly—all of it wrapped Duo in a cocoon of safety and passion and love, and utter completion. So much so that his own orgasm was almost a footnote among everything else he felt, though he was sure he clawed at Bucky’s back as he cried out and spilled between them. Having a supersoldier lover had some odd benefits.
Duo would bear the marks of their lovemaking for days, but he had always liked being marked by his partners. The tangible reminders were reassuring.
As the last aftershocks of their orgasms tapered off, their kisses grew languid, lazy. Bucky finally stripped Duo of his shirt to clean up Duo’s come before tossing it aside. He finally eased them down onto their sides, pulling him so close that they lay with their heads on the same pillow despite the king bed. He pulled Duo close, then tugged the blankets back over them, running his flesh hand over Duo’s hip and back in soothing circles.
“I love you,” Bucky murmured softly, the words ringing with truth. Duo ducked his head, but curled even more tightly into him, letting his actions speak the words he couldn’t say.
“I know,” he said instead. It made Bucky’s chest shake with a little chuckle, but he didn’t say anything else, running his hands over Duo until he fell into a deep, restful sleep.
Duo may never be able to say the words, but he’d do his best every day to show Bucky how loved he was.
“One day you will meet someone
who will see the universe
that was knitted into your bones,
and the embers of galaxies glow to life in your eyes.
And you will finally know
what love is supposed to feel like.”
"What Does Love Feel Like?" Nikita Gill