Work Text:
{T}
Quirrel was nervous. He was always nervous, but this time, the emotion was especially pronounced. "M-Master? May I ask you something?"
{V}
Voldemort, who was currently sleeping on the back of Quirrel's head, jerked awake.
"wha-?" Voldemort muttered evilly. (Voldemort was always evil so he always spoke evilly. That was not up for discussion.)
Was Quirrel asking something? Voldemort swore that the man was worse than Lucius having a bad hair day.
{P}
"What do you want," Voldemort hissed out at Quirrel's continuous silence.
"I- um," Quirrel started and stopped, and absentmindedly went to scratch the back of his head -- only to have his fingertips be snapped at by an irate Voldemort.
"Hey! That was totally unnecessary!"
{D}
"s-sorry," Quirrel stuttered. "um, I think my leg is having bad circulation and i wanted to wake you before i get up." he asked, though dread pooled in his stomach.
{M}
Voldemort wished he had the fingers to pinch his brow. "You woke me up to tell me that you're having bad circulation?"
Voldemort heard Quirrel mumble something, but he couldn't hear it. Voldemort hated when people did that. He's not that scary to speak with.
Okay, he is, but he still doesn't like it. "I'm going to pretend I heard you and give you my permission to move, if that's what you desire."
Honestly, the minions these days. Can't even wipe their own behinds.
...wait
{T}
Quirrel knew that taking a walk around Hogwarts is a decent way to get his blood flowing again. Not wanting to risk his Master's ire, he immediately opened his door and felt the cool night air on his face-er faces. It took a whole 10 paces before he walked directly into Severus.
{V}
"uh- Quirrel," Snape muttered, hair slightly less greasy than usual, "I didn't expect to see you here..."
Quirrel tilted his head slightly, making voldemort gag slightly. While the still turban smelled bad, the turban in motion smelled a million times worse.
"I-is t-that a b-bad t-thing, S-severus?"
Snape, if possible, blushed.
"No, no," He hastily corrected, humongous nose swinging with enough momentum to take out a small first year; "I-", he paused, "I just didn't expect you."
Quirrel opened his mouth to say something but was immedietly bombarded with a boquet of flowers.
"Will you give me the honour of going out with you, Quirrel?"
Meanwhile, Voldemort resisted the urge to barf, and this time it wasn't due to the smell.
{P}
Quirrel flushed and as he stammered through a proper reply, Snape looked soul-crushingly hopeful. Despite his lack of desire or want to go out with Severus, there was really no good way to decline, so with barely masked distaste, Quirrel said, "O-of c-course S-Severus. I w-would b-b-be hon-honored."
{D}
Quirrels suddenly grew suspicious, then. It was the dead of night, and Snape just happened to be out in the halls with a bouquet of flowers? It was inconceivable that such an event occurred without planning. Did he find out of his secret? His master?
"I'll see you in hogsmead, Severus."
{M}
Circulation thoroughly returned to his leg, he turned around and shut the door directly in Snape's abnormally large nose.
An actor he may be, but he was never a good one. Any longer in Snape's presence and he might've actually started twitching.
...there was his Master to consider, too. Severus, in the dead of night. Severus, who he had stumbled upon by accident, with a bouquet of flowers.
Severus who had washed. Washed for Quirrel, by the looks of it.
There were too many mixed signals. He would have to go in the date to investigate further on Snape's... variations in character.
{T}
Yes... He would investigate for his Master. The mission of retrieving the Stone was too important to risk anything going astray. Perhaps he could use this opportunity to see what Severus used to protect the stone? Yes... everything was coming together perfectly,
The next morning came and Quirrel was surprisingly excited. He hadn't gone out on a date in decades. Did he even remember how? Yes, there's supposed to be gifts involved. Maybe he should ask his Master what sort of gift Severus would like. The man was one of his Master's most trusted inner circle, afterall.
{V}
Plopping down on the chair (and ignoring his master's silent anguished screams rather pointedly) Quirrel took out his laptop, opening a new browser.
"Gifts, gifts," he murmered. "M-master, what type of gift do p-people g-get for d-dates?"
Voldemort grumbled, "How am i to know?" he asked sardonically, "Its not like i was ever sought after. My psychopathic demeanour scared most people off."
Quirrel choked, an incredulous expression on his face. How had his handsome master had never been courted?
Perhaps he did have a chance?
Quirrel closed his eyes for a moment. No, he had to be realistic. He was simply too plain for a revolutionary such as his lord.
"What, going to laugh?"
{P}
Quirrel's eyes flew open and he spluttered, trying to remedy the situation. Oh dear, oh dear, oh Mother Magic he messed up.
"Relax, I was merely lightening the conversation. And I suspect Severus has never been courted in quite some time, if at all, so he would appreciate anything."
Then an evil thought ran through Voldemort's mind and he said, almost spitefully, though Quirrel didn't pick up on it, "Perhaps he would enjoy a tasteful bouquet of lilies -- maybe those tiger ones."
{D}
Quirrels thought about it, and it made sense. "W-well, I suppose I-I'd bring a bouquet of flowers in return f-For the one I received," he nodded, looking up the nearest flower shop. His master was so smart.
{T}
The date had arrived. The sun shined bright, perfectly illuminating the lovely ball of greese that was Severus's hair. His robes were even more perfect, they were as gorgeous a shade of black as his soul.
"Quirrel, you look dashing today. What is it that you are holding behind your back?"
{V}
Quirrel held out the bouquet.
Voldemort resisted the urge to crucify everybody. He had no idea why, but he was so very mad.
"H- here," he pushed them into his date's arms, flustered. Nobody had told him it was going to be this hard to go on a date, and, quite frankly, he hated it already.
Severus' mayo face turned pink. Once he realized what flowers he'd been given, however, he went pale.
Voldemort smirked in victory. That'd show Snape for... he paused, what was he mad at Snape for? He shook his metaphorical head, it was to no matter, the only thing that mattered was that he'd shown the greasy potions addict his place.
"L-lilies?" Snape asked.
Quirrel bit his lip. Snape and Voldemort (who was using a mirror charm to view the entire spectacle) blushed.
"D-do y-you not l-like t-them?"
Snape shook his head frantically. "I love them!" he exclaimed.
Quirrel smiled tentatively. Snape tripped over himself. If Voldemort had a body, he'd have done the same.
{P}
Like a teenaged girl, Snape brushed a lock of hair behind his ear, and they went on their way to Madame Pudifoots, to the absolute horror and shock of the student's all throughout the shop. Snape had a look of absolute sappiness as he and Quirrel ordered, scones and tea for two, Snape asked the horrified waitress.
As they sat down and began to chatter about inane topics, Lord Voldemort let out a low hissing noise, and people around began to take notice. Quirrel prayed to Mother Magic he wouldn't regret this, but he cast a quick silencing charm, and pasted on a smile to hide his anxiety as he felt the eldtritch being on the back of his head warp and twist and try to talk.
{D}
"so-" they both started at once.
"You go first," Severus offered.
feeling put on the spot, he answered. "W-well, um, I w-was wondering why you even a-asked me out in the f-first place?" he took the opportunity in attempt to gauge out the answer to why he was wandering the halls with flowers
{T}
"Well, I thought it pretty obvious that my intention was to ask you out on a date" Severus stated with a raised eyebrow.
"A-At Midnight? Why, are y-you nocturnal?" Quirrel attempted a humerus question.
"Yes."
Worried that he offended Severus, he tried to backpedal, "I-I," but then halted as he felt his companion's hand rest on his.
"Tell me about yourself Quirrel. I know you love the Dark Arts as much as I, and I must admit I am curious to know more about you."
{V}
Quirrel started sweating immediately. Voldemort, who had dozed off shortly after Quirrel had left Hogwarts with Snape, was not pleased.
"well, I-"
"say you like grease," Voldemort whispered not very discreetly.
"I like grease!" Quirrel said at once.
Instead of looking at Quirrel weirdly like Voldemort had hoped, Snape blushed.
"I- you flatterer." Snape giggled nasally, scaring the surrounding students.
Voldemort ground his teeth.
{P}
All Quirrel wanted to do was to go back in time before any of this -- before Snape and before Voldemort and to when he was a simple muggle studies teacher who enjoyed his relative isolation. This was tedious and frustrating and absolutely annoying. But he played along and simpered over Snape, saying this and that.
And if he was taking an extreme amount of pleasure from Voldemort's annoyance, well, nobody had to know,
{D}
it was getting a bit too tedious for his liking. Besides, he was still a teacher, if he didn't shut this down soon he would have to endure this kind of behavior at school, which was a no-go.
oh god, why did he agree? this was a boarding school! any teacher gossip was the best gossip! and there were so...many...students here....
he decided, then, to pretend to need the bathroom to hide from Snape.
{T}
Quirrel suddenly stood up, knocking his cup of tea all over himself. Well. This mess at least proved a valid excuse. "I b-bathroom," he said as he motioned to the bathroom, in case his meaning was unclear.
After catching his breath from his earlier panic, he noticed a tinted window that he could use to make his escape. Seeing no way to open it, he shot a few blasting curses at it and made his escape.
{V}
As soon as he had vacated Madam Pudiefoots Quirrel let out a breath he didnt know he was holding. Close call. He apparated a few buildings away before collapsing onto the ground.
"That bad?" Voldemort asked, a hint of amusement tinging his tone.
"W-werent you w-watching? Y-you sh-should know h-how b-bad it w-was." Quirrel wondered.
"It was a joke," Voldemort asked, "So clueless, how...cute."
Quirrel blushed.
Had Voldemort flirted with him? Should he flirt back?
As he finally settled on a yes, he should flirt back, a group of teenagers passed by. He tied his turban hastily, trying to avoid suspicion.
"Vibe check, Quirrel, Vibe check," he muttered to himself. "Keep it cool, keep it calm, you can do this."
As he opened his mouth, he heard a scream.
"Quirrell, my darling, what happened! I'll save you!"
Quirrel ran.
{P}
Casting a quick invisibility charm, Quirrel threw himself into a sprint, doing his very best to put as much distance between him and Snape as possible.
Merlin, could this date have gone any worse? Yes, yes it could have. But still!! It was a wretched date!
It wasn’t like Quirrel went on too many dates, but this was the worst one he’d ever been on.
Back in his quarters at Hogwarts he unwrapped his turban and groaned, quickly unsilencing Voldemort.
{D}
"Have you ever actually been on a proper date?" Voldemort asked curiously.
"j-just a few times," Quirrel admitted.
"Could you show me? how a proper date is done? It's been ten years and i'm curious to see if anything has changed."
{T}
Quirrel blushed furiously. There's no way that his Master means what he thinks he means, right? He's probably just asking for advice for when an appropriately evil Dark Lady catches his eye. "U-Um sure, my lord. The first thing you do when you want to ask someone out is to find out some of their favorite things. Sometimes you have to follow them around while wearing a disguise, but you do what you have to do."
{V}
"Yandere," Voldemort nodded understandingly, "Always loved that, myself."
"stalking or being stalked?" Quirrel asked.
"Yes."
Quirrel opened and closed his mouth.
"Moving on!" He announced loudly.
{D}
"Well, sadly, since we live in the same body we can't do that. We can't do a lot of things because of that, actually, i can't imagine taking my turbun off in public would be good."
{T}
"Yes, it would probably count as public indecency. Wouldn't want to traumatize any first years," Voldemort responded in a tone which implied that he would like nothing more than to do just that. "Perhaps we should refocus on getting the stone first. This lack of a body is becoming more troublesome by the moment."
{V}
Quirrel deflated a bit at talk of the stone. He hadn't been able to gain any intel from his date with Snape.
Had the stakes not have been elevated- he needed that date- Quirrel might've just brushed it off, saying that he'd figure things out tomorrow, but now he was determined.
Plopping down lightly on his chair he pulled out his laptop sneakily. On one tab he searched 'evil plots for dummies- how to be a good villain' and in another, 'how to tell if someone likes you'
Choosing to start with the former, Quirrel clicked the enter key and watched as the tab loaded.
{D}
Wikihow seemed like the perfect article to start with. It even had photos to make it easier for comprehension.
Step 1: read the 48 laws or power. To be the best villian, you have to know how to get what you want, and do it in a way to make you many enemies.
Step 2: play the untitled goose game. It will surprise you how many small inconvenient things can mess up someone completely; learn to utilize this skill and train to become a goose.
{T}
"Huh i wonder if I could be a goose animagus. Imagine all of the evil possibilities!" giggled Quirrel maniacally.
Step 3: Get an evil consort to help in scheming! Two heads are better than one!
That last step was followed by a picture of two decapitated skulls smiling encouragingly.
{V}
Quirrel blushed as he imagined him and Voldemort ruling the world together, with so much power and knowledge and enough money to buy a small country. He sighed happily as he moved on.
Step 4: Sexual Tension is key- we wont go into details here but having some will they wont they is always something interesting.
Quirrel nodded.
Step 5: Have the protagonist-
That was when Quirrel paused, protagonist? Surely this wasnt a-
As he re-read the link title, he fought the urge to facepalm.
'How to write an evil character- for dummies'
{D}
The points still applied, though. To write a villain you have to understand the villain, and if you understood the villain you could be the villain. And. And if he wanted. Uh. sexual tension lets say with a. A certain man he could blame that. This. The article he was reading. Yes. Wonderful plan.
{T}
In fact, maybe he could read a guide for the protagonist on how to defeat the villain. Not only would that teach him what not to do, he could use the knowledge to beat any other villains trying to steal his master's title!
Suddenly a loud ringing struck his poor ears and Quirrel jumped from his seat in surprise, knocking his tea all over his laptop. Ah, the cursed door alarm. He should really get that looked at.
{V}
However, his laptop came first. Pulling a copious amount of tissues from the box next to him he tried to dry the tea to no avail. Perhaps he could try rice? He could've sworn rice helped in some way... if only he could search up how.
His mind longingly wandered towards the 'guide for protagonists' and 'does he like you' quiz tabs.
At that moment, he wished he had a phone.
{D}
"fool," voldemort hissed at him. "You have magic. Use it."
He struggled with his wand and cast a cleaning charm, spamming the ON button. "Oh, its t-too late. My dear c-computer is...is dead!!" He moaned.
{T}
Voldemort sighed at his favorite minion. Normally, such incompetence would have him crucioing everyone in sight, but from Quirrel? It somehow was endearing. "Worry not, my dear minion, all is not lost. This presents the wonderful opportunity of 'borrowing' Snape's laptop to see if it holds useful information. Think of all of the blackmail we could find!"
{V}
And so, that was how Quirrel found himself outside the Hogwarts Potion masters dorms at midnight.
Quirrel twiddled his thumbs as he debated how to enter. Should he simply blast the door open? Use Alohomora?
"knock already, minion!" Voldemort comanded harshly, "Or are you a... chicken?"
Not wanting his crush to think he was a chicken, Quirrel knocked several times, as loudly as possible.
A prefect came out of the parallel hallway to look for the source of the noise. Once they saw Quirrel, they turned and ran all the way back to their original post.
{D}
He knocked, Voldemort's statement still reeling in his head as he was entered.
He was not a chicken!!! He was a goose!!! And to prove it, he slipped a tiny vial of golden liquid from the desk up his robe sleeve.
"S-sorry to bother you, severus, but c-could i borrow your laptop for a while? I spilt s-some tea on mine."
{T}
"Of course, my beloved. You may use anything of mine, you need only ask," he said, hearts in his eyes. Literally. Did he actually make a spell to put hearts in his eyes, or had someone cursed him? Ugh Snape was so gross when he was all love-blind like this. At least this made him easier to exploit.
"Just let me close a few tabs first." The fool! Did he have no knowledge of search history?
{V}
No matter how idiotic Quirrel thought Snape to be, he managed to keep the urge to correct him under check. Once he'd been handed the computer Quirrel let out a tiny whoop of happiness, pecking Snape on the cheek. He was so glad to have achieved something these past few days.
"you fool!" voldemort hissed from behind his head. Quirrel did not know why he was mad. "Snape will know something is off!"
Quirrel turned around, only to see Snape, standing in the same place as he'd been before, hearts in his black eyes. oh.
Quirrel blushed and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him. His heart fluttered in his chest, and he didnt know why. It was only Snape afterall. He hadn't accidentally kissed anybody substantial!
Okay, maybe that was rude. Snape had quite a good physique, if Quirrel said so himself. He was quite tall, and with a haircut or two, Quirrel was sure he'd look-
"Quirrel!" Voldemort yelled, not bothering to stay quiet. "Room, now!"
Quirrel followed orders, heart beating to the pattern of his footsteps all the way there, humming a happy tune. For some reason, that seemed to aggravate Voldemort more.
{D}
quirrel arrived at his room and popped open the laptop.
it had a password.
uh.
"my lord, do you happen to know what snape would set as a password?"
{T}
"Try typing in things that he likes"
Quirrel thought for a moment before trying 'Potions'. The computer remained locked. He then rapid fired other guesses: thedark, shampooistheworst, and pottersucks. He was was disappointed since he was sure that the last one should have worked. The DADA professor was glad that the computer didn't seem to have a limit to how many guesses he could make. Eventually, he tried his own name.
It immediately unlocked to the homescreen. 'Welcome back, Severus,' it wrote in a gloriously green font.
{V}
Voldemort, ever curious, barked out an annoyed "Search it already!"
"Yes master!"
Quirrel practically tripped over his own feet in his haste to open a tab.
{D}
Quirrel was met with a glaring dark screen. Snape opened the incognito tab by default. paranoid bastard, he thought. He opened a regular tab and lo and behold, there was no search history. he opened Microsoft Edge. aha. there were a few downloads made, all of which were with generated letter number combination names. he heaved a sigh as he double clicked on a file.
{T}
Host and master bother were horrified when their eyes landed on an edited photo of Quirrel in a maid outfit. The next photo opened was Quirrel in cat ears "I- I suppose this is blackmail? But I really hope we don't have to release these..." Quirrel pleaded to his master. Said master was suspiciously silent.
{V}
"Master! What should i do?" Quirrel asked, nervous.
Voldemort contenplated for a second, silent.
"Print them and put them on my desk for uh safe keeping. Ill make sure none of the pictures get out."
"A-Alright." Quirrel stuttered.
{D}
"Um- but I'll have to send things i print through McGonagall..." he said slowly, regretting everything.
Lord Voldemort was silent for a moment. "well, you'll just have to send it to my number then. I can't access it right now but its better for safer safekeeping." he said finally.
{T}
"Um, okay. What's your number?" Quirrel asked nervously. It's not like he's getting his master's number for a date, so why is he so nervous?
" 1-800- 555- Death," Voldemort stated matter-of-factly.
"Wow, how did you manage to get such a cool number?" Quirrel simped.
"The same way I do anything; bribes and death threats"
{V}
"a-ahh," Quirrel stuttered, admiration evident in his big eyes. "So ill j-just se-send it through then!"
Voldemort clicked his tongue impatiently, but secretly his heart was thumping in their combined chests.
He couldnt wait to frame the photos.
{D}
He opened the desktop files instead of Microsoft edge's download history for more... blackmail? If you could call it that. Nothing was really incriminating, except those photoshopped images of him that his lord thought were valuable.
"Y-You don't suppose S-snape would write down s-something somewhere about t-the stone, would he master?"
{T}
"Hmm... Perhaps he is more intelligent than I thou-" Voldemort suddenly stopped when he noticed a folder labled 'the Stone'. "Or not."
With apprehension, they clicked on the folder.
{V}
Once opened, the two snoopers came face to face to yet another folder. This one, however, was labelled 'fanfic- SS /QQ- romance, comedy, realistic fiction- draft one'.
Yet again, Quirrel found himself sweating in front of Snape's computer.
"Open it, already, Quirrel," Voldemort commanded, oddly curious.
{D}
"I-i find myself s-scarred enough, master. I-i'll open it t-then turn around s-so I won't have to s-see it. Would that b-be alright?"
"Yes. Hurry up," Voldemort snapped, already getting impatient.
{T}
Voldemort opened the fic to the chapter it was on and started at a random paragraph. Once Voldemort read a few lines, he was glad that Quirrel was looking away.
'Quirrel quietly moaned as he stole another kiss, making his way downward--BEEP BEEP' a Morgana-damned alarm interrupted Voldemort right as it was getting juicy. Quirrel turned around, startled at the noise. Thankfully, the alarm popup was big enough that it covered most of the page, so Quirrel remained blissfully ignorant of what his master was reading.
{V}
The alarm was labelled 'Angst hour'
Quirrel squinted, "M-master, w-what is a-angst?"
Voldemort gritted his teeth, prepared to do anything to stop quirrel closing the pop up.
{D}
"Angst is Snape's designated time to mope. now- oh my apologies Quirrel it seems that in my curiosity I borrowed your body, you can have it back now," rushed Voldemort, relieved to have closed both windows by the time he finished speaking.
{T}
Quirrel returned to his task, unaware that he just barely missed being traumatized. He couldn't see a single folder that looked promising, but then he remembered the search function.
The search yeilded the results he was looking for. For some reason Snape buried the folder 'evil philosopher plans' under a dozen folders named things like 'don't click on this', 'no seriously don't', and Quirrel's personal favorite 'Dumbledore without clothes'. No one would dare click on that one!
Disappointingly, it appears that Snape forgot that one could just use the search function instead of individually clicking through folders. Sucks for him.
{V}
With a proud expression on his face, Quirrel clicked the folder, opening it up to see a single documents.
Inside was written 'real plans are at site 69'
Voldemort snickered. "hah- 69"
{D}
"oh! I-i know where s-site 69 is!" Quirrels exclaimed, forgetting his master's presence. "It's in t-the- um, h-how do you call it, t-the r-rooms Tom has at t-the leaky cauldron. Room 6 i-is missing a nail o-on the n-number and spins to a 9. W-why would it be t-there?" He contemplated in fascination.
{T}
The pair immediately sprinted down to the Leaky, no time to waste. With apprehension, minion and master opened the door to see... A trail of rose petals?
Voldemort was struck with the realization that Snape must have known that they were looking for information on the Stone and set up this 'trap' for Quirrel. Under no circumstances will Voldemort let his favorite minon get captured.
{V}
"quirrel, you have to get out of here." Voldemort whispered, "Turn around now."
"b-but master," quirrel stuttered. "w-why?"
"Quirrel?" a greasy sounding voice cooed, "Is that you?"
{D}
Quirrel froze up. he had a few options here, but wasn't sure what those options were. he should just. keep walking and pretend he didn't know the name Quirrel. he bent down, pretending to tie his shoes in excuse for his sudden stop, and continued forward.
{T}
Quirrel wasn't quick enough. Snape caught up to him and pleaded "Wait! I know why you're here. You want to know about the Philosopher's Stone, right? I can help you with that."
"Really?" It seemed too good to be true!
"Yes, but I am a Slytherin, so I'd like something for me in return. And I know exactly what you can help me with."
"R-really?" Quirrel was considerably more nervous now The Philosopher's Stone was very important to his master, so maybe he should go along with whatever Snape wants from him?
{V}
"I want a.."
Snape paused, looking at Quirrel's oblivious face.
'so cute!' he thought, simping. 'he deserves a compliment.'
"y-you want a c-compliment?" Quirrel's eyebrows furrowed.
{D}
"what? No! Oh, did I say that out loud?" Snape flushed. "No. I want a favor.
...can you paint my nails?"
{T}
"No!" Voldemort screamed as if possessed, which is ridiculous because he's the one who posseses people, not the other way around.
Snape likely assumed Quirrel was the one who emphatically refused him, and looked heartbroken.
{V}
As Snape turned to leave Quirrel sputtered. "N-no! i-its o-okay! I-i'll d-do it f-for you!"
Snape beamed. Quirrel offered a tentative smile in return. Inside his turban, Voldemort fumed
{D}
They walked to a nearby table in the leaky, and Snape brought out his polishes. There was no top coat. You need a top coat for your polish to dry fast. Horrified, Quirrel started applying the base, experiencing the occasional headache from his master. As he started on the color, Voldemort took over briefly and got the color on the skin.
{T}
"It's perfectly alright," Snape said in response to Quirrel's blunder. "In fact, when you messed up there it splattered my thumbnail with paint in a pattern that kind of looks like a snake!"
Quirrel smiled gleefully, this was bound to get his master jealous! And the sacrilege of Snape wearing snake nails when snakes are his master's animal was just icing on the cake!
{V}
Naturally, Voldemort was not pleased. "Quirrel make an excuse and go," He hissed, annoyed. Quirrel knew there was a limit to how much he could disobey his master and, albeit somewhat grumpily, complied.
{D}
"M-my apologies, Severus. M-my head s-seems to disagree with the p-polishes' fumes and it's acting up l-l-like an angry snake. I think I'll go l-lie down f-for a bit."
{T}
Once they were in privacy once more, Voldemort cornered Quirrel. Metaphorically of course, since there's still the problem of a lack of a body and all. "Why did you accept Severus' offer despite my ordering you not to?"
Quirrel's nervousness returned tenfold. He hasn't actually felt afraid of his master in months, but he was certainly afraid of telling him the truth now.
{V}
"w-well, i-i.." he trailed off. "Master i-"
"Why, Quirrel, why!?" Voldemort bellowed, "Why have you forsaken my love!"
"W-what."
"What"
{D}
Voldemort was very weak now, after a few consecutive days of him forcefully taking control over Quirrel's body and dozed off in the height of the risky confusion.
{T}
Quirrel had made a mistake. He didn't mean to make Voldemort think he didn't love him! Now that his master is asleep, he can't tell him how he feels! Maybe if he managed to get the Stone while he's resting? That would surely show his devotion!
{V}
Creeping out the door on his tip toes, Quirrel turned the corner and into the corridor. His bed was on the first floor, and he needed to go two floors up to get to the stone. "I can do this," Quirrel whispered to himself, "For my love, i can."
{D}
Arriving at the forbidden corridor , he entered, and was met with a cerebus. Luckily, all creatures need sleep and the three heads weren't intimidating. He jumped down, met with devil's snare. It was child's play, honestly. Dumbledore used these to serve protection for the stone? He cast a Lumos and went on to the next door. A bunch of snitches to a door. He started to suspect these traps were for Potter. He accioed the correct key. He won the game of chess. He beat Snape's potion riddle. He bet it was something that might belong on r/iamverysmart. And then there was a mirror.
{T}
The mirror showed not Quirrel's reflection, but an almost disgustingly mushy scene of him and his master making out with their tounges snakeing around each other. It took a few minutes for him to translate the enscription and realized that this must be part of the test. Though it seemed too easy of a solution for simply desiring the stone to land it in his hand, there was no harm in trying the simple solution first. Unless failing to solve it on the first try triggers a death trap, of course.
{V}
"the mirror of desire," Quirrel read aloud. Then, ready, he whispered. "I desire the philosphers stone!"
Nothing happened.
"I desire the philosophers stone!" Quirrel repeated, a bit louder. "I DESIR-"
"Quirrel?" Voldemort's sleepy voice came from under the turban, "what are you doing?"
{D}
"I-i'm trying to g-get the s-stone, master. I s-seem to have to r-really desire the s-stone for it to work." Quirrel concentrated hard on what he wanted: the stone, and really wished his master didn't see the image on the mirror. It didn't work. Instead, he was thoroughly captivated by the image shown, in the trance like state as all people would succumb to.
{T}
Most who encounter the mirror in an attempt to steal the stone would fail because they would desire riches and immortality more than the stone itself. Quirrel's problem was of an entirely different nature, since he simply could not stop simping for Voldemort.
Maybe if he tried to think about the two of them together while Voldemort holds the stone that would return him to his power? If only he had the Stone, they could finally kiss. Yes, focus on the stone!
{V}
the stone, the stone, the stone. Quirrel repeated again and again, but when he opened his eyes the entangled quirrel and voldemort were still there. However, they had gotten closer.
Quirrel gasped, cheeks coloring.
"Quirrel?" Voldemort asked, "What happened?"
"Nothing!" Quirrel squeaked
{D}
"Do I need to do it for you, Quirrel?"
Quirrel was quite near panicking now. "N-no,master, I c-can do it. It just needs a little bit more time-"
{T}
Quirrel sighed in relief as he saw that the Voldemort in the mirror was holding the Stone, but instead of giving it to him, the mirror Voldemort looked directly at him while... licking the stone? Is that supposed to be sexy? It really shouldn't be, but the longer Quirrel looked, the hotter it was.
{V}
He blushed, he needed that stone so much. As if summoned, the stone fell into his turban, finally cooperating. "yas~ my ship is sailing!" The stone yelled in stone language.
{D}
"I've never heard of a stone being sentient before," Voldemort commented. "Quirrel, please shut your mouth and leave before we get caught." Quirrel's gaping mouth snapped shut and promptly left.
{T}
As they were leaving, the Stone under the turban slightly shifted where it was and hit Voldemort in the eye. "OW! Take the stone out of the turb-!", but that comment proved to be a mistake because as Voldemort was speaking, the Stone shifted again, right into Voldemort's mouth. It fell deep enough in his mouth that he had to swallow or risk choking. Once he had, the Stone's magic worked to finally give him a new body. "Huh. I guess that's easier than doing a complicated ritual with it"
{V}
Quirrel turned around, only to be confronted with his master's very real, very handsome body. Voldemort stared at quirrel. Quirrel stared at voldemort. They both turned away at the same time, cheeks coloring.
{D}
"c'mon. Let's get out of here first." Said Voldemort, face turned to the side. They arrived back at Quirrel's room. Quirrel was the one to break the silence.
"S-so- uh, w-where are you go-going to s-sleep tonight?"
{T}
"I must admit i'm not sure. I can't use the floo in the headmaster's office or risk being seen leaving to aparate. I would cast a strong invisibility spell, but I need to rest this body. Shall I stay in your rooms?"
"B-But there's only one bed!"
Voldemort smirked "I won't tell anyone"
{V}
Quirrel blushed. When voldemort caught sight of Quirrel's blush, he blushed. They continued on like this for a while.
{D}
The atmosphere was getting increasingly nerve-wracking, so much so that Quirrel felt the need to lie down very awkwardly on top of his blankets. The ceiling was very interesting, as interesting as the wall was to Voldemort.
{T}
Voldemort soon joined him on the bed. It was only just big enough to accommodate the both of them, so as they lay on their backs their shoulders touched. Neither of them brought this fact to attention, as they were distracted since their positions allowed an excellent view of the very intriguing ceiling.
The professor's eyes never left the ceiling as he spoke "W-what now, master?"
Voldemort loved the petname Quirrel had given him, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek to show his appreciation. "World domination, my favorite minon. But now? We rest."
Quirrel had trouble falling that night. Was he really his master's favorite minon? He had so many minions to choose from! Quirrel will have to find out as soon as he can. Maybe he can manage to be promoted to dark consort? The thought had him tingling in anticipation for the days to come.
{V}
Nobody noticed snape eavesdropping, flowers in one hand, wiping his tears with the other. He was fuming. How dare Voldemort steal his lover, his soulmate? He would get his revenge, Snape vowed. Even if it was the last thing he did.
{D}
He set the flowers on fire and set it at the door. He hoped the burning smell would waft into their room and disturb their peace. His efforts would not go to waste. He was already a double spy for Voldemort's enemy, after all. All he had to do was be patient and his turn would come. But maybe he should...escalate things a bit.