Chapter Text
The Base, one week after endgame...
It had been a long week of congratulations and celebrations – most of which had been initiated by Erend, who never missed a chance to drink someone under the table – and Aloy was shattered. All she wanted to do was lie down and rest, have some peace and quiet before the next big fight they had to prepare for. Between the partying and reverie, plans had been made for everyone to return to their respective tribes and spread word on the threat of Nemesis, in the hopes that they would be able to build a army and stand some chance of defeating the newest and most deadly enemy in their future.
Aloy sank into the seat in her room with a heavy sigh. She truly didn't know what was to come or whether they would be able to overcome yet another potentially world-ending event, but she did know that whatever happened, she would face it head on as she always had, Because it was the right thing to do. Because its what Elisabet would do.
Thoughts of Elisabet surfaced in her mind then, and by extension so did thoughts of Tilda. A strange sadness washed over her as her mind conjured up visions of of the two of them together. Had Elisabet been happy with Tilda, at least for a little while? Had she felt loved and understood? Had Tilda made her smile? Laugh? Aloy grinned, unable to imagine the serious Elisabet throwing her head back in laughter.
Would Elisabet have understood Aloy's decision to end Tilda's life? Would she have forgiven Aloy for killing her lover, even if their affair had been brief?
Aloy was so lost in her thoughts that she almost jumped out of her skin when the door to her room whooshed open. She stood abruptly, accidentally knocking her chair over in the process. She cursed and turned to pick the chair up, not knowing who had interrupted her peace until they spoke to her from the now open door.
“Aloy?”
Alva.
Aloy closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath before turning to face Alva with what she hoped was a neutral smile on her face. “Hey, Alva...what's up?”
Alva stepped further into the room, allowing the door to automatically whoosh closed behind her. “I was hoping we could talk before I return to the Quen.”
“Oh, uh, sure.” Aloy nodded. She moved around the desk and leant against it, crossing her arms over her chest. “What can I do for you, Alva?”
There was a long pause in which Alva simply stared at Aloy, dark amber eyes searching Aloy's as if trying to read her mind. Aloy hoped she couldn't.
“Well, I've been thinking about my role in Quen society...as a Diviner, and whether I can really go back to a life that seem so small now compared to all...” Alva lifted her hands, indicating the base as a whole, “...this.”
Aloy raised an eyebrow in question. “You think going home is a bad idea?” Something stirred in her chest, a strange mixture of hope and fear. She tried to ignore it.
“I don't know.”
Alva began to pace back and forth, clearly frustrated by her lack of clarity. Aloy wanted to go to her, grasp her by the shoulders, and tell her everything would be okay. She stayed where she was.
“I feel like I can do more – be more useful – on this side of the ocean.” She stopped her pacing and glanced at Aloy as if trying to gauge her reaction.
Aloy nodded in agreement. “You've changed a lot since I met you, Alva.” She paused, trying to find the right words. “You've grown. It's understandable that you feel too big for your old shell.”
A small smile passed over Alva's lips. “You and the Ancestor are different in so many ways, but when you say things like that I hear Elisabet in your words.”
Aloy dropped her gaze and gave an amused huff. “Sometimes I'm not sure whether being Elisabet's clone is a blessing or a curse.” She murmured.
“I think it's a blessing.” Alva said softly, “You're amazing, Aloy. You're everything Elisabet was and more.”
Aloy could feel her face warming and quickly shook her head, trying to dispel the heat. “I, uh, don't know about that. Anyway,” She had to get this conversation back onto Alva and away from herself, “your people are going to need you, Alva, they'll need someone to help lead them into the fight against Nemesis.”
“Bohai will have access to everything we have learned and will be able to inform the Quen on our behalf.” Alva quickly explained. “Besides, I plan to set up a network that will allow me to talk directly with the rest of the Diviners through our focuses so...” she trailed off and locked eyes with Aloy, “I could...stay?”
Yes! Stay with me, please... Aloy's inner voice mutinously pleaded. She silenced the voice with a ruthlessness that would have made Regalla proud.
“No, you should go.” Aloy insisted, dropping her gaze again, unable to handle Alva's hopeful expression. “I only trust you to do right by your people, Alva, not Bohai. Go and be with them.” Be with Federa, Aloy's inner voice cruelly added. She looked up just in time to catch a flash of disappointment passing over Alva's face. It hurt to know she'd caused Alva upset, but she had no choice. She'd have to put some distance between them if she had any chance of severing the connection she felt to the young Diviner.
“Oh...of course...you're right.”
Alva's defeated tone tore at Aloy's heart. She looked away, feeling ashamed of herself. I'm a coward.
“Aloy?” Alva said after a moment of silence. “Have I...done something wrong?”
“What?” Aloy's head snapped up in suprise. “Why would you think that?” Does she know?”
“You've been different these past few weeks. Distant.” Alva explained. “You stopped coming by my training station...you don't look at me the way you used to.”
Aloy shook her head in denial. “I don't know what-”
“It's Federa, isn't it? Things changed between us after I told you about her.”
She knows.
Alva's gaze was open, her intelligent eyes shining with understanding. Aloy's heart thudded, Should she try to deny it? No, Alva would see right through her lies. And besides, she deserved the truth. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily, trying to organise her thoughts. Alva waited patiently, as if sensing that Aloy needed a moment to think.
“I don't know anything about...” she swallowed, “...love..or feelings.” She lifted her hands in a gesture of uncertainty, She gathered all her inner strength to look Alva in the eyes as she continued. “But I do know that...yours is the first face I want to see when I return to the Base. Yours is the first voice that I want to hear. You're the first person I want to share my thoughts with. And when I'm near you...” Aloy trailed off, feeling the heat of a blush creep over her face, “I want to touch you.” She whispered.
Alva suddenly moved closer, causing Aloy's body to stiffen with a nervousness she only ever felt around the Diviner. But Alva simply moved to lean against the desk beside Aloy. She seemed to take a moment to think about her words before she spoke.
“From the moment I met you I've felt a connection between us, something I thought was just intellectual at first – two friends enjoying the exchange of knowledge. You know how much I love data.” She shrugged with a self deprecating smile. “But...I came to look forward to your visits with me far more than a friend ever would.” Alva admitted, her cheeks tinged with the beginnings of a blush. “You inspire me in so many ways, Aloy. You're strong, courageous, intelligent and, if you don't mind me saying...very beautiful.” She lifted a hand to Aloy's cheek and gently pulled her face around until they were looking at each other. Alva smiled, eyes filled with sadness. “How could I not fall a little bit in love with you?”
The pounding of Aloy's heart was almost deafening. Alva's closeness and the soft touch of her hand on Aloy's cheek was like the spark of steel on steel. The now familiar urge to press closer – to lean in and touch Alva's lips with hers – flooded her senses.
“So...where do we go from here?” Aloy quietly asked around a painful lump that had formed in her throat. She already knew the logical answer. The Elisabet answer.
Alva sighed softly, her hand dropping from Aloy's face. “I will go home.” She whispered, her voice filled with sadness.
Aloy nodded. “Right.” A heavy ache settled in her chest and she did her best to squash it down, to keep the pain from showing on her face. It's for the best.
“I...I wish I'd known you before...” Alva trailed off.
Before Federa, Aloy silently finished. “Yeah...me too.” She said quietly. Then, gathering herself, she said, “it's fine, we just need some distance.”
Three months later...
“So if you clear the pipes here, here, and here,” Beta pointed to three separate areas on the holomap she was projecting from her focus, “we should be able to get the shower blocks up and running within a month.”
“What, you're not happy with the current bathing arrangements?” Aloy asked, feigning ignorance. Beta gave her a withering look which made Aloy bark out a laugh, remembering the first time she'd taken Beta down to the nearby flowing stream that served as their source of bathing and fresh water. Beta hadn't really taken to the idea of outdoor skinny dipping.
“There are more appealing methods.” Beta diplomatically replied.
“The stream isn't that bad.”
“Its freezing!” Beta exclaimed.
“Its refreshing.” Aloy countered.
“Its unhygienic.” Beta folded her arms and glared at Aloy as if daring her to argue.
“Its never done me any harm.” Aloy shrugged. She laughed out loud when Beta tutted and rolled her eyes.
Getting to know her sister without the threat of the Zeniths hanging over them had been an illuminating experience. Although Beta could still be moody, there were times when there was a lightness in her step and a spark of fire in her eyes that hadn't been there before. There seemed to be a kernel of hope within her now, and it made Aloy all the more determined to succeed in the battles ahead. Beta deserved a real chance at a normal life, untainted by constant fear.
“I'll head out at first light.” She finally relented, slapping Beta on the shoulder in a gesture of camaraderie. Beta's body jerked with the unintended force of Aloy's hand and she quickly pulled it away. “Uh, sorry...” she muttered, sheepishly. She forgot sometimes that Beta wasn't a hardy earthling like everyone else Aloy knew, and subsequently wasn't as steady and ready to roll with the punches Aloy was used to giving and getting in return.
Beta gave a weak but genuine smile, “I'm fine, and thank you,” she gestured to the holomap again, “for the pipes.”
Aloy nodded, “No problem.”
A distant whoosh drew two identical pairs of eyes to the door which led to one of the main exits. Sylens had been coming and going since his return to the Base and Aloy fully expected it to be him returning from one of his outings. He never told her where he was going or what he was doing, he simply did as he pleased.
She felt the breath leave her body when the door they were watching finally opened. Alva?
“A-Alva?” Aloy's mouth had fallen open in shock and she had to consciously force it closed and compose herself. “What...what are you doing here?” Did she sound as unsteady as she felt? Her heart was beating a tattoo in her chest and the pounding was making her feel warm all over.
“Hello, Aloy, Beta.” Alva smiled at the both of them, her pleasant expression revealing nothing.
“Hello, Alva, it's nice to see you again.” Beta closed the holomap with a flick of her fingers and turned to Aloy. “I'm going to talk to Gaia about the plans to recapture Hephaestus.” She nodded a goodbye to Alva and them climbed the stairs to the room which housed Gaia, leaving Aloy and Alva alone.
Aloy barely registered Beta's departure, so focused was she on Alva. She drank in the sight of the Diviner as though she was quenching a dire thirst, eyes taking in every detail. Some things were different, like the outfit, which seemed more suited to travelling than the one Aloy remembered, though it was still wholly Quen in design. And the pitch black hair had grown until it was able to curl around Alva's ears. But the warm amber eyes were the same, as was the wonderfully sweet smile that had haunted Aloy's dreams for months.
“Aloy...” Alva breathed into the silence that had ensued. She nervously ran a hand through her hair. “Can we...talk?”
“Alva...you're supposed to be-”
“I know,” Alva uncharacteristically interrupted, “please, just...let me explain.” She gestured in the direction of Aloy's room, indicating a need for privacy.
Aloy nodded and made her way to her room with Alva on her heels. Her mind was racing with questions and thoughts she couldn't control. She stepped aside and allowed Alva to enter the the room first and then followed, sealing the door behind them.
Alva seemed to survey the room for a moment, taking in the changes Aloy had made in the last few months, which included a small bed tucked away in the corner. Beta had insisted on it when she'd realised that Aloy was sleeping on the floor with nothing but a thin layer of furs between her body and the cold hard metal.
“So,” Aloy started, unable to take the silence any longer, “do you wanna tell me why-”
“The distance didn't help.” Alva said in a rush, cutting Aloy off mid-sentence.
Aloy stared at her, processing the words, feeling dumbstruck.
Alva began to pace back and forth, gesturing wildly with her hands. “I tried to make it work, I really did. I thought if I just pretended for a while it would all come back and everything would be like it was before...” she stopped and shook her head before fixing her gaze on Aloy. “There wasn't a single day that I didn't think of you and ...and wonder if I'd made a mistake.”
Aloy stared in silence, her thoughts a jumbled mess. If she was honest with herself, Alva's experience echoed her own. Thoughts of the Diviner had been present in her mind every day since she had left the Base. Rather than diminishing as she had hoped, the flame Aloy carried had burned continuously, reminding her constantly of what she believed could never be.
“What about...?” Federa...the unspoken name floated between them like a ghost.
Alva moved closer until she was barely a hand-span away. She cupped Aloy's face in her hands and locked eyes with her. “I couldn't keep pretending,” she said, her voice steady and unwavering, “I told her there was someone else.”
Aloy's heart thudded and her cheeks felt warm beneath Alva's touch. Alva's face was so close that that Aloy could feel the heat of the Diviner's breath on her lips. The old urge to lean in and kiss her came back full force.
“Alva...” she whispered, wrapping her fingers around Alva's wrists, unsure if she wanted to keep her there or push her away, “I...I don't even know if I'm capable of this.”
“Of what?” Alva asked, confused.
“Of this,” Aloy repeated, “of being...” Aloy struggled to find the right words. How was it so easy to face down a Dreadwing and yet so hard to say simple words when Alva was near her? She sighed, “I don't know if I can be...what you expect.”
Alva smiled that wonderfully sweet smile of hers that Aloy's heart flutter in her chest. “Just be you, Aloy,” she whispered, “I just want you.”
Aloy let out a relieved breath. “Okay, I can work with that.” She gave what she hoped was a confident smile and released her death grip on Alva's wrists. She lowered her hands and tentatively placed them on Alva's hips, gripping her lightly. “Can I...kiss you?” Heat spread up along her neck and coloured her cheeks. Smooth, Aloy, real smooth.
Alva's eyes darkened and she slid her fingers into the thick locks of Aloy’s hair, pulling her closer until their noses brushed. “Please do.” She whispered huskily.
Aloy closed her eyes and pressed her lips to Alva’s, relying on her other senses to guide her. Having never kissed nor been kissed, she had no real idea of what she was doing. She moved her mouth slowly against Alva’s, her stomach flipping when Alva responded in kind. Alva’s lips were as soft and silky as the petals of a flower, and Aloy felt as if she could simply stay in this moment forever, holding Alva, kissing her.
Alva moaned softly, and the sound made Aloy’s body awaken in ways it never had before. Something rippled in the pit of her stomach, a sensation that pushed her to kiss Alva with more heat, to tighten her grip on the Diviner’s hips and pull her closer. The hands in her hair flexed and fingertips raked over Aloy’s scalp, sending shivers down her spine.
It was Alva who finally broke the kiss so they could both get some much needed air. They stood forehead to forehead, both breathing heavily, hearts beating in unison.
“Wow...” Alva breathed.
“Yeah...” Aloy grinned.
Alva disentangled her fingers from Aloy’s hair and took Aloy’s hands in hers. “Kissing you is so much better than I imagined.”
Aloy blushed furiously and had to drop her gaze. She too had imagined this moment many times, but none of her visions could have prepared her for the hunger she would feel, the overpowering need to lay Alva down and...and-
As if reading her thoughts, Alva began walking backwards, tugging Aloy along with her until they made it to Aloy’s bed. Alva lay down, pulling Aloy with her. Aloy hesitated a moment, one knee on the bed, a kernel of apprehension stilling her body.
“What’s wrong?” Alva asked, a worried crinkle in her brow.
“Nothing,” Aloy lied, then she shook her head. Alva didn’t deserve lies. “I’ve never done this.” She admitted, her face flaming with embarrassment.
“Ah,” Alva’s expression was surprised but not judgemental. After a moment she smiled and shifted her body over so there was enough space for Aloy to lay beside her. “Lay with me.”
Aloy did so, lying down and facing Alva. The size of the bed didn’t allow for much room between them, but honestly Aloy didn’t much mind having to press herself up against Alva in order to fit. Her body hummed with electricity everywhere it made contact with Alva’s. It was exciting, if nerve-wracking.
Alva grasped Aloy’s arm and pulled it over her body, somehow managing to snuggle closer. “We don’t have to do more than this.” She pressed her face into Aloy’s chest and sighed with contentment.
Aloy hesitated a second before nuzzling the top of Alva’s head, burying her nose into Alva’s hair and inhaling deeply. The scent of Alva filled her senses and made her feel giddy. She pressed her lips to Alva’s forehead and when Alva lifted her face she trailed her kisses down until she was once again kissing Alva’s lips.
The kiss was slow and sensual, a gentle meeting of mouths which made the pit of Aloy’s stomach tremble pleasantly. She stroked her hand up and down Alva’s back and side, wanting to feel her, to touch every part of her she could reach. She found the hem of Alva’s shirt and slid her hand beneath it, touching Alva’s skin for the first time.
Alva’s stomach quivered beneath her touch as she slowly stroked her hand over the soft and downy skin which felt like heaven to Aloy. Alva made a soft mewling sound deep in her throat which encouraged Aloy to explore further, her hand travelling upwards until she was cupping a full and heavy breast.
Alva broke their kiss with a gasp and Aloy immediately stilled her hand, her earlier anxiety returning.
“Did I hurt you?” She asked, starting to pull her hand away.
“No,” Alva quickly pressed her hand to Aloy’s, keeping it firmly against her breast. She looked deep into Aloy’s eyes. “I like it...” she whispered, “but you know we don’t have to-“
“I want to,” Aloy interrupted, holding Alva’s gaze. “I want to.” She repeated, her voice soft but steady.
Alva smiled and kissed her with more heat than before. Aloy matched her more fiery pace, thoroughly enjoying Alva’s obvious enthusiasm. Alva surprised her then by shifting on top of Aloy and straddling her hips, somehow keeping their kiss unbroken in the process.
They kissed for a few moments more and then Alva retreated, sitting up in order to remove her shirt. Aloy watched in awe and appreciation as the garment slid up and over Alva’s head, revealing Alva’s beautiful body to her.
Aloy rose to meet her, running her hands up and down Alva’s bare back and pressing kisses along her collarbone. Alva wrapped her arms around Aloy, holding her close, burying her face into Aloy’s thick red hair as Aloy’s mouth began its exploration of her body.
Aloy ran her lips along the smooth skin of Alva’s chest, kissing her way down between Alva’s breasts. She could feel the fast beating heart of the Diviner and took a moment to simply enjoy the effect she was having. She trailed her kisses across to a hardened nipple, nuzzling it with her nose before covering it with her mouth. She ran her tongue over and around the rigid nipple, sucking gently all the while. Alva gasped and moaned into Aloy’s hair, her hands grasping at the back of Aloy’s shirt.
Aloy moved over to the other nipple and gave it the same treatment, revelling in the softness of Alva’s breasts and the way each flick of her tongue made the Diviner’s breath hitch. It was all so new to her and already she was addicted. She wanted more. More of everything. More of Alva.
In one swift move she had Alva beneath her and she leaned down to taste Alva’s mouth once more, kissing her with a renewed vigour. Alva’s hands found the hem of Aloy’s shirt and pulled at it until Aloy had to break the kiss and allow the shirt to slip over her head. Alva pulled her back down as soon as the clothing was gone from between them, resuming their heated kiss.
The sensation of skin on skin contact sent Aloy’s body into overdrive and for the first time in her life she moaned in pleasure, the sound escaping her throat before she had a chance to censor it. She could feel Alva smiling against her lips and knew she’d heard it. There was no time for embarrassment, however, as Alva’s hands roamed her naked torso, touching her in places she’d never been touched by another, with gentle and loving fingers that blazed trails of fire along her skin.
Aloy shifted to the side, sliding one arm beneath Alva’s head to prop herself up so that she could touch Alva in return. She stroked her free hand up Alva's side, then down between her breasts and over the trembling curve of her stomach. She came to a stop when the tips of her fingers slipped beneath the hem of Alva’s trousers, and finally she pulled away from Alva’s lips.
Looking down at the Diviner, she was relieved to see only desire in her dark eyes, and she hoped her own conveyed the same.
“Can I...?” She whispered, fingers playing with the tie at Alva’s navel.
“Please...” Alva breathed, her voice laced with need.
Without breaking eye contact, Aloy pulled at the tie, tugging gently until the simple knot came free and she could loosen the hem. She struggled to remove them one handed and was relieved when Alva reached down to help, pushing the trousers off and kicking them aside until finally she was fully naked before Aloy. Something she had dreamed about for months but never thought she would see. Alva’s body was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, from the smattering of freckles across her chest to the round curve of her hip and the arch of delicate feet. Her eyes were momentarily drawn to the triangle of dark curls at the apex of Alva’s thighs and she felt her face grow warm as she thought about what lay hidden beneath them. The apprehension she’d felt earlier resurfaced, stilling her hand against Alva’s stomach. When she returned her gaze to Alva’s, the Diviner was watching her with slight amusement.
She cradled Aloy’s jaw in the palm of her hand and soothingly stroked her thumb over Aloy’s cheek, smiling at her in understanding. “I was the same during my first time,” she murmured, “I had no idea what to do.” She chuckled softly.
“I, uh...” Aloy swallowed, her blush growing more severe by the moment, “I know the theory, but...” she trailed off, feeling embarrassingly inadequate.
“Let me show you...”
Alva pressed her hand over Aloy's and slowly guided it down over her stomach, which quivered beneath Aloy's fingers as they passed over it. Alva’s eyes were locked on Aloy's as she pressed her their hands down into the wet heat of her centre, her eyelids only flickering when Aloy’s fingers slid between the slick pulsating folds. Alva let out a shaky breath and pulled her hand away as Aloy took control and began to explore her with light strokes, touching her with a gentleness that Aloy never knew she possessed.
Alva responded to Aloy’s ministrations with soft gasps and quiet moans that made Aloy want to go harder, faster. But she restrained herself and kept her touches light, focusing intently on Alva’s face, loathe to miss even a second of Alva’s reactions. Alva’s eyes opened and met Aloy’s, her usually sweet and open gaze saturated with desire. She threaded her hands through Aloy’s thick hair and pulled her head down again to kiss her deeply, her lips moving at a stilted pace as Aloy’s fingers pleasured her. Aloy peppered kisses along her jawline and down the side of her neck, stopping to suck gently at the sensitive skin below Alva’s ear and earning herself another moan.
Feeling encouraged, Aloy pressed down deep between Alva’s folds until she felt the tip of her index finger slip into the hot sheath of Alva’s sex. Alva gasped louder than she had so far and her hands closed into fists in Aloy’s hair. Worried she had gone too far, Aloy pulled back.
“No!” Alva said quickly, her hand closing around Aloy’s wrist, keeping her hand where it was between Alva’s legs. “Its okay, Aloy,” she whispered hoarsely, her cheeks pinking, “I won’t break.”
Aloy paused to study Alva’s face, searching for even the slightest hint of hesitation. Alva pressed Aloy’s fingers back into her folds and, with her free hand, pulled Aloy down to kiss her again.
Aloy found Alva’s entrance again and this time she pressed until the full length of her middle fingers had been swallowed by Alva’s sex. Alva let out a cry against Aloy’s lips at the same time Aloy felt a powerful squeeze of the muscles around her sheathed fingers. She moved them experimentally, slowly sliding out and pushing back in. Alva’s body undulated, keeping pace with Aloy’s leisurely rhythm, her hips rising to meet every measured thrust of Aloy’s fingers.
Their kiss became disorganised as Alva’s cognitive function was lost to pleasure, so Aloy dipped her head to take a taught nipple into her mouth and sucked it lightly, teasingly. Alva’s cries were growing in volume and her breathing was becoming more ragged with every passing moment. Aloy quickened her pace, thrusting her fingers just a little bit faster, a little bit harder.
With a final, earth-shattering cry, Alva’s climax arrived. Inner muscles clenched again and again around Aloy’s fingers whilst trembling thighs squeezed her forearm. Alva buried her face into Aloy’s hair to muffle the undignified sounds escaping her mouth whilst her body shook and trembled beneath Aloy, the last of her pleasure slowly ebbing away. When the last waves of ecstasy had left her body, Alva fell back against the bed, as if suddenly boneless. Her grip on Aloy relaxed, including her thighs which had held Aloy’s arm captive.
Aloy slowly let her fingers slide free and was treated to a small mewl of displeasure from Alva. She chuckled and pressed small kisses to Alva’s chest, feeling the steadily slowing heartbeat beneath her lips as she travelled upwards to Alva’s neck and further until she was able to hover over Alva’s lips. Alva kissed her lazily, a soft sigh escaping through her nose. She wrapped her arms around Aloy’s neck and held her close as they kissed, the gesture gentle and affectionate. Finally Alva broke the kiss and rested her forehead against Aloy’s.
“That was...everything.” She whispered, amber eyes gazing deep into Aloy’s, “its...it’s never felt like that before.” She admitted with a blush.
“Really?” Aloy was surprised but secretly pleased.
“Really,” Alva smiled and pressed small kisses along Aloy’s jaw until her lips were on Aloy’s ear, “you were amazing.” She whispered. She nuzzled Aloy’s ear and lightly ran her tongue over the shell, causing a shiver to run down Aloy’s spine. A trickle of fear followed and Aloy quickly pulled her head away and moved so that they were lay side by side.
Alva turned on her side and tentatively pressed a hand to Aloy’s bare stomach, just above the trousers she was still wearing. “What’s wrong, Aloy?” she asked quietly.
Aloy avoided her open gaze. “Nothing, I just...I’m okay, you don’t have to...” Aloy didn’t have the words to explain that the thought of Alva seeing her weak and undone and ultimately vulnerable terrified her. She knew it wasn’t fair, but she just wasn’t ready.
Alva studied her for a few moments before speaking. “I want to make you feel amazing...but only if, and when, you want me to.” She lightly kissed Aloy’s shoulder.
Aloy put her hand over Alva’s where it rested on her stomach. “Maybe one day...but not tonight. Is that okay?”
“Whatever you need, Aloy.” Alva intertwined her fingers with Aloy’s and moved to lay her head on Aloy’s chest. “Being here with you is enough.”
Aloy wrapped her arm around Alva and felt her chest swelling with emotion. Never had she imagined that Alva would be hers, that she would know what it was to hold her, kiss her, make love to her. She still worried that this was a cruel dream, that she might wake alone in the morning and Alva would still be thousands of miles away from her. With Federa.
Aloy shook her head free of the troubling thoughts. Alva was here. Aloy could see her, feel her, smell the scent of her hair, taste the salt on her skin. She was as real as the beating heart inside Aloy's chest. For once, she felt truly happy.
Alva woke several hours later to the sound of Aloy's heart beating against her ear. She smiled and snuggled closer into the warm body of her lover. Aloy. Aloy was hers. This wonderful, perfectly imperfect woman was hers to love. Alva had never felt so blessed and content.
Her journey back to Aloy had been long and fraught with worry. Every step that brought her closer to the Base had ratcheted up her anxiety about whether she had done the right thing. Would Aloy still want her? She worried that, as predicted, the time apart might have dulled Aloy's feelings, maybe even eradicated them altogether. But the way Aloy had looked at her when she'd walked through the door had eased all of her fears. She'd gazed at Alva as if she was a crystal clear pool of water in an otherwise barren desert.
Alva lifted her head to take in the sight of Aloy's sleeping face and smiled softly at the sight. Aloy had never looked so serene and content. Alva felt privileged to be able to see her like this. She was certain that not many people, if any, ever had.
With a happy sigh, she lay her head back down onto Aloy's chest and closed her eyes, content in the knowledge that she had made the right decision.