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Healing takes time, healing needs help from oneself. Only then, once you're willing to accept help from yourself, will you be able to be free from your anguish.
So you're willing to wait no matter how long it takes. You're going to wait for him until he's better until he's healed of his past trauma. Even if he pushes you away right now, even if it might hurt, you know that under his multiple layers of dark veils, Dimitri was still there. It was merely covered by his dark shell built upon revenge and wounds.
As the light flowed between the cracks of the broken monastery wall, his dark figure remained ungiving. There he stood, remnants of sanity and warmth seeped out by the illusions haunting him. You can hear him letting out erratic whispers, snapping, begging that they leave him alone, promising he'll bring her head to them. Despite his figure seeming large and cold, underneath his shivering cloak was a thin man, a man hurting, tormented by the souls of the undead. Tormented by himself.
You could only stand there, your eyes prickling, watching as he gradually descent into another fit of insanity. How can you help a person who doesn't want it?
It simply hurts to watch him be reduced into a shell of what he once was, but you can never imagine the pain he's experiencing right now. You simply don't know how to help him, and it pains you a lot more than you could ever imagine. Dimitri needs help, desperately, or else he will go down the road of further slaughter and his demise.
And you'll never allow it, you'll never let him experience a life where he can't attain happiness and tranquility. You want him to live his life accepting and becoming a better person than who he was before, even if you weren't in his life, you want him to live longer to see the world not tainted by bloodshed.
So even if you didn't know how to help him, even if you're not the greatest in terms of helping someone move on from their trauma, you'll give your everything to help him grasp hope and warmth. That he is loved, that he can be forgiven, that he can receive help and happiness even after everything. Dimitri deserved to love and be loved.
Your quiet footsteps slowly approached him, you did not want to alert him, so without a word, you reached for the dainty flowers you prepared for him. You can still remember it, the time when the both of you were still young, long before your academy days, when life was not as brutal and unforgiving, when life was yet to be tainted red. The two of you would simply bathe in each other's presence and have fun just like how children would. The same flowers you held right now were the ones you picked for each other- soon letting the wind take the flowers away to dance as the two of you mused at the thought of dreaming and flying with the help of the wind's gentle tune.
That was a nice peaceful moment in time, now lost as the years turn cruel. Both of you had hardened yet weakened by the hands of time.
You laid down the flowers beside him, hoping that your heartfelt wish would be heard by the goddess- hoping that he realizes he can still experience the same warmth he had felt before as long as he gives everyone a chance to lend their hand to him.
You can hear his voice, rough and snarly, snapping at your figure. Showing him a small smile, you backed away from his stiff and bristled stance, his blue eye watching your every step- it seemed clearer now. There you stood far from him, an unseen wall in between the two of you, something you cannot break through no matter what.
His name fell out of your lips as you apologized for startling him. You bid him goodbye and turned your back to him, walking out of the fallen monastery, your chest feeling heavier the further away you tread. The heaviness of your heart slowed you down, quiet sobs started erupting from your chest as you agonize over a friend, over someone you want to be with, over a future you hoped and dreamt of having with him.
Dimitri's gaze did not waver, however, the moment he lost sight of you, the voices plaguing him returned. Guilt, anger, and all of his emotions overwhelmed him, fueling his desire to kill her— Edelgard. In the corner of his eyes, he caught sight of small light flowers, and for a moment they stopped, the longer he stared at them a familiar warmth spread through his chest and memories. A time of innocence and tranquil, even if it was a snippet- however as soon as his figure relaxed, as soon as the pleasantness of the memory returned, their voices came back for his promise of blood and retribution.
Neither of you can't let go of the promise you both swore from the depths of your hearts.
One yearns to kill and one wishes for the other to live.