Chapter Text
1766, France
The library is quiet, a stark contrast to the crowded ballroom Hyde has just left. Still, music can be heard even all the way up here, and Hyde can’t help moving his foot in sync with it, humming quietly. Tonight’s string quartet is outstanding. It’s almost a shame that he left the ball so early when there’s such excellent music to dance to, but he couldn’t stand remaining in that room a second longer. He’s tired of pleasantries, of entertaining young women who mean nothing to him while the only person he wishes to dance with remains always close, but never close enough.
Nobody will think it strange that he’s left the ball early. After all, it is well known that he dislikes crowded places and tires of parties easily. Besides, he hasn’t been the first to leave, Guiltia having made his escape half an hour before Hyde. None of the servants tried to stop him on the way here, either, since he’s a frequent guest of the Romanee household, and the staff knows he’s a friend of the oldest son. In everyone’s eyes, he’s just looking for a quiet place to rest for a while.
When Dimitri arrives, exactly ten dances later, Hyde doesn’t need to turn around to know it’s him. His distinctive step precedes him - energetic and brisk, and altogether too loud.
“Tired already?” He asks. “How uncharacteristic of you, Dimitri.”
“Even I, with my endless stamina, can tire of dancing if I don’t have a suitable partner.”
“I find it hard to believe that none of the ladies at the ball could match your skill.”
“They were all as talented as women of their position are presumed to be, but there is only one person I truly desire to dance with.” Dimitri approaches Hyde, beaming with that confident smile of his. “Unfortunately, he’s been avoiding me all night.”
“Perhaps with good reason.”
“Perhaps,” Dimitri says, and offers his hand to Hyde. “But I’m hoping he will dance with me now.”
Hyde takes Dimitri’s hand the way he would with a dancing partner, supporting it with the lightest of touches. “I’ve been told you are an excellent dancer,” he says. “I hope you won’t disappoint me.”
“Do I ever?”
Music starts playing again in the ballroom after the brief pause. A minuet. Dimitri bows and Hyde returns the gesture in time with the music. This is the first time they dance together, and yet they move in perfect harmony, mirroring each other’s movements. They spin around each other in small steps, their fingers brushing, eyes fixed on each other. They must look ridiculous, two men hiding in a library, dancing to the faint music from a ball they should be taking part in. It is ridiculous that doing this means so much to Hyde, when he’s been so much more intimate with Dimitri countless times already. And yet, dancing is such an integral part of their lives, but one he never gets to share with Dimitri.
Hyde’s body brims with a sense of superiority. There’s a ballroom full of women waiting for Dimitri to ask them for a dance, and yet here he is, hiding in the library just to spend a few moments alone with Hyde. To think that this handsome, intelligent man, the proud heir of a large old fortune, the most eligible bachelor, spent almost a year courting him!
They’re completing a turn when Dimitri grabs his arm and pulls him close, placing his hand on Hyde’s waist. Hyde looks at him, arching an eyebrow.
“I don’t recall this being a step of the minuet.”
“Is it not? Perhaps we’ve been dancing the minuet wrong all this time.”
Hyde says nothing, just smiles and places his hands on Dimitri’s shoulders, facing him. Dimitri cups his face, brushing the pad of his thumb against Hyde’s cheek.
“You look so beautiful tonight,” he murmurs.
“You say that every night.”
“Because you’re always beautiful,” Dimitri says, with the same vehemence as when he’s debating philosophy with their peers. There is a fire burning in Dimitri’s eyes, and the adoration he sees in them makes warmth spread through Hyde’s chest. Hyde tried to resist that look for months, reminding himself of all the reasons why a relationship between them is a bad idea, but Dimitri’s heat has burned through all his walls, all his cold logic.
Keeping his eyes on him, Hyde wraps his arms around Dimitri’s neck and pulls him closer. Dimitri leans in for a kiss and Hyde gives it to him, a chaste, brief kiss right where the cheek meets the lips.
Dimitri’s eyebrows draw a perfect arch. “Teasing me, Hyde?”
Hyde chuckles, and this time lets Dimitri kiss him. It is not a tender kiss between lovers, but the messy, rushed kiss between two people who know their time together is limited. Dimitri embraces him tight, pushing him against a bookcase. The shelves dig into his back, but Hyde barely notices the discomfort. He caresses Dimitri’s neck, his skin warm under Hyde’s fingers, his mouth so hot and inviting. Hyde’s heartbeat thunders in his ears, or maybe it’s Dimitri’s, their bodies so impossibly close that it could be his heart beating in Hyde’s chest. He’s so entranced in their passion that he needs a few seconds to register Dimitri’s hands sneaking to the front of his breeches.
“Dimitri,” he warns, placing his hand on Dimitri’s chest and looking at him.
“No one will come here,” Dimitri says. “Isn’t that why you chose this place?”
“They will miss you at the ball.” Hyde’s absence might go unnoticed for longer, but this is Dimitri’s house. He’s supposed to be entertaining the guests.
“Not for a few more dances.” Dimitri kisses his earlobe, his nimble hands quickly undoing the buttons of Hyde’s breeches.
This is insane, and Dimitri must be out of his mind. As unlikely as it might be, someone could come looking for them. If it’s a servant, they could just bribe them, but what if it’s a fellow noble, or worse, someone from their families? If word reaches their fathers, their relationship will be over. Their families will want to keep the affair as discreet as possible, so they might not be disinherited, but they will find themselves married within a fortnight, to any girl whose family’s need for money and connections overcomes their distaste for potential scandal. He’ll never be allowed to be alone with Dimitri again. But insanity must be contagious because instead of pushing Dimitri away, Hyde pulls him closer, hurrying to open his breeches.
They have to go fast, with no regard for tenderness or romance. Hyde buries his face in the crook of Dimitri’s neck to muffle any moans, and Dimitri nibbles on his ear, occasionally whispering sweet nothings, so quietly Hyde can barely hear. Hyde’s body is burning as if every cell of his body was on fire. He stops caring about the risks and consequences. Only Dimitri matters, and his warmth in Hyde’s hand, his sweet voice so close to him. This is wrong, and yet he’s never felt more right, more complete.
He sucks on the exposed skin on Dimitri’s neck, making him choke down something that sounds halfway between a moan and a laugh, and Hyde smiles, wide and honest. His body feels light, tingling. He feels alive. The Hyde who asks women to dance because that’s what society expects of him, who discusses philosophy and politics and makes polite conversation, that perfect young aristocrat, that is not a façade. It is part of him, an important part that he has refined to perfection. But this is him. The raw core of him he was not even aware existed until the first time he kissed Dimitri.
They don’t immediately pull back once they’re finished. Dimitri pushes his forehead against Hyde’s, a sated smile on his lips. Hyde smiles back, nuzzling against him. He can’t seem to stop smiling today, can’t find the self-control to. His chest is warm and tight, almost too small for his fluttering heart. He’s sweaty and uncomfortable in his heavy clothes, his hand sticky. The distinctive scent of dust and leather-bound books mixes with the musky scent of sex still heavy in the air. It’s disgusting, and it’s perfect. Dimitri is perfect. Intense and ridiculous and sometimes incomprehensible, but Hyde has felt nothing close to the bliss he gets in these moments of intimacy with him.
They clean themselves up in silence, exchanging no words of love. What would be the point? Hyde can see Dimitri’s passion in his eyes, and surely Dimitri knows Hyde would not take such risks for someone who meant nothing to him. There’s no need for words. Whatever the nature of their feelings, they are fruitless, and Hyde will not lie to himself and pretend this is meant to last.
This is not the selfless, pure love that appears in the novels his younger sister reads. If it was, they would not be doing something that could risk each other’s positions. If he was selfless, he would let Dimitri go. If he was truly devoted, he would run away with him. But he’s selfish, and he’s practical, and this is what it is.
As a caution measure, they decide to return to the part at different times, so Dimitri leaves first and Hyde stays behind. He feels exhausted to the core of his bones, and the mere thought of having to go back to the ballroom fills him with dread. And yet, sitting in the empty library, Dimitri’s scent still clinging to him, he can’t stop smiling.