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40 Gag Gift Ideas for Women and Men - Good Housekeeping

Summary:

Johnny's revaluating his life choices one-by-one, wondering when was the proverbial tipping-point that brought him to this singularly embarassing moment.

Notes:

Happy anniversary, baby. You know who you are.

To anyone else, please don't come at me for any inaccuracies of character or spelling mistakes - I've never even finished reading Steel Ball Run, I just really love my girlfriend and want to give her something handcrafted (hand! ha!) and I had the idea of writing a small ficlet of her favourite pairing, even though I've never written anything on here. This is fully self indulgent. Sorry for any formatting errors!
Buona giornata!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Please, don't read it aloud, have mercy."

"You might have been a horse in your past life because you sure fuck as one would", a thick eyebrow lifts on Gyro's forehead as Johnny tries to hide his reddened face behind his sweater covered palms. He's reevaluating his life choices one-by-one, wondering when was the proverbial tipping-point that brought him to this singularly embarrassing moment.

Things were so fine until four minutes before, chatting the late summer morning away lounging in the dimly lit veranda - Johnny sat on a rocking chair sipping the remains of Gyro's unnecessarily
sweetened coffee, his slim legs slung on his boyfriend's calves as the taller man lounged on the sofa. Then the idiot just had to be curious and pick up the book on the tea table containing scraps of hand-crafted notes Johnny hoped would never see the light of day.

"You're writing sex poems? Is it my early birthday gift?" Oh, damn. Johnny is wondering if he can trade both of his legs for the opportunity of making the sheet of yellow paper spontaneously combust between Gyro's slender fingers.
"It was Diego's suggestion! He said since you're having a rough time lately you would love something that enhances your positive qualities and natural talents!"
Gyro's right eyebrow is still lifted, and his mouth is starting to betray a twitch. Figures, the bastard doesn't appreciate the good gesture.
"And now you're laughing at my face, you stupid fuck. I should've known not to listen to that reptile-faced fucker"
"No way, Johnny." the taller man's face can't seem to control the smile overtaking it now. 
"Thats' the cringiest way you could find to do it, but thank you. I'm kind of touched you would do something like this for me."
"Something like this" Johnny feels past embarrassment now. his face feels so overheated he feels like he could start to cry any moment. "You mean something so humiliating it makes me want to dig a hole in the ground and die?" the blond keeps his eyes focused on his fingers. He'd been trying to hold off biting his cuticles bloody but it feels like the effort's not worth it right now.
"Oh, come on now, tesoro. No need to be shy now." Johnny's chin and cheek are enveloped by Gyro's solid hand, the palm pushing his face up to meet his gaze.
"I'm flattered, I really am."
"Are you? I feel like a really big joke right now." Johnny's nose is a bit congested from holding off of crying, he sniffs and fakes a little cough to mask the moment of frailty.
"You cheeky little thing, amore, come here." Gyro shims back on the sofa's backrest, motioning with his arms for Johnny to get closer. "Sit on my lap, dolcezza."
Johnny kind of wants to follow his lover's hand to nuzzle like a cat. He hoists himself up from the rocking chair and settles quietly on Gyro's sweats-clad tights.
As his bottom is perched on the taller man's lap, shifting his hips to sit more comfortably he brushes on the hardness tenting Gyro's pants and feels a stirring growing fast like a black hole in his stomach.
"The gift made you hard?" he softly hits Gyro's breast with his hand, palm open.
"No, you impossible thing" Gyro's tongue slids out to moisten his lush lips, "Feeling desired made me hard."
"I felt like crying at first but I guess we could do better with a different kind of bursting"

Gyro's nosing at his neck, the puffs of breath mixing with the faint sheen of sweat on Johnny's jaw, blooming a field of goosebumps like wildflowers all over the reddened skin, leaving small kisses on his way up.
When Gyro's mouth finally nears his, the younger man's already breathing hard, lower lip bitten in expectation, saliva pooling at the edges, not yet drooling but ashamedly close to it.
He wants to write his name on his lover's chest with his tongue, then bite his nipples until they're so sensitive that he starts tearing off the walls with his moans, begging to be touched.

"Do you like my lips, Johnny?" Gyro's voice sounds rougher than ever, the vowels opening up, taking space in the dense morning air.

"I'd like them more if you put them to good use" he breathes out. Johnny's tired of waiting now, and he goes to eliminate the space between their lips mouth open, tongue lolling out.
Gyro's hands go to palm at Johnny's behind, keeping him close and making their groins brush on each other at a maddeningly slow rhythm - even though they're making out frantically, spit wetting their lips and chins, they're still fully clothed, and frankly it isn't fair at all that Gyro's hard-on is so present beneath him even through the layer of unfairly thick sweat pant cloth. "Aren't you going to take these off now?"

The long haired man looks bemused at Johnny for breaking the kiss to make the question, he stops for a second and then his eyes clear up, decision taken.
He moves one hand from the shorter man's jeans-clad ass cheek and follows the line of his trim waist, brushing on Johnny's tight still straddling his and then stopping to hover on the metal zip containing his boyfriend's straining member.

Johnny's moan is loud and hard-won when the air meets his cock, Gyro taking it in hand and giving it a slow pull. The warmth of the skin sends waves of pleasure though Johnny's body, he starts moving his hips upwards without lucid thought, breaking the kiss again to pant imploringly, "faster, Gyro. I want to feel you on my skin, please!"

Johnny's beloved obliges the pull of his forearms behind his neck and moves his lips to the younger man's neck to suck a livid mark, never pausing his ministrations on his cock, at the same time taking pleasure for himself in the friction the movements bring to his own dick in his sweats. Johnny's hands detach from Gyro's upper back to free the other man of his pants, sliding the soft fabric down to reveal his pulsing, flushed cock.

"Yes, baby."

Gyro's hand reaches out for Johnny's, pressing both of their dicks together and sliding in tandem to a delicious, fastening pace, their breaths strained as Gyro hunches down again to suck on his beloved's neck, leaving a trail of sopping wet marks to his collarbone, a constellation of lurid purple.

"Ah, Gyro. I- I can't last like this, please-" a moan breaks into a sob as Gyro bits down hard on the delicate skin and Johnny's orgasm takes him over the edge almost by surprise, too quick but just perfect. As his come spurts out messing up their hands, Gyro's hold on his cock softens but doesn't leave him, milking it out of him to the last drop and coating his own reddened penis with his darling's spunk. When Johnny's finished, Gyro's hand moves to guide his lover's hold on his own cock, squeezes a bit harder and increases the pace, their lips finding each other again to join in a searing kiss, moving together to bring Gyro to complexion. "Amore mio, this is so good. You're so good to me, you're the best gift I could ever have hoped to received," his breath hitches as Johnny frees one hand to travel to his scalp and get a fistful of golden hair, and then the shorter man pulls it, at the same time twisting his other hand on Gyro's cock at a pressing angle. He comes like that, holding Johnny close while he slids back on the sofa, the dual stimulation finally having the best of him as he spaces out for a moment.

Their bodies, height differences nullified, are plastered together from one end to the other, Johnny's bicep playing pillow for Gyro's head, fingers threading though silken strands of hair.
He would be braiding promises into the long locks if not for the jelly-like quality his muscles have taken after finishing. 
Johnny's mind is pleasantly fuzzy, shimmers playing behind his closed eyelids like the dust flakes floating in the golden light that is seeping from the window shutters.
The complicit silence is pleasant, stretching in long minutes of the afterglow. As Johnny feels himself slipping into an almost-nap, his lover's voice calls him back to the awake world.

"Do you remember that time you got so drunk on plum wine you started crying 'cause you thought I would become a tree?"
"Gyro, you're Neapolitan and told me on a Sunday night you were thinking about going vegan, of course I got worried."
Johnny's eyes are still closed but he hears in Gyro's voice that his lips are curling into a soft smile.
"I love you."
"I love you too, amore mio."

Notes:

The temptation to make Gyro call Johnny something ridiculous like mozzarellino or panzerotto mio was strong, but I am stronger than that. This time.