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Mia had never considered having kids before discovering she was pregnant. Some of her friends talked about the families that they were planning on having after college, but Mia already had her family. The life that she had with Dom and the gang had taught her that family was what you made it, not necessarily husbands and babies. Of course it was always in the back of her mind that one day she’d probably get pregnant; that was just how things went if she wanted someone to spend the rest of her life with. Mia, though, had never heard a name and thought about how great a name it would be for a future baby or wondered about parenting techniques. It just never came to mind.
Then, Mia got pregnant. She was excited, more than excited, she was ecstatic. With Brian and her brother, she knew they would start a new family, a family that they would protect this time. Her baby would be there to show how much she and Brian loved each other, how much they’d survived. She started looking at baby books and thinking about names. She even took the risk to call an old friend and have her and Dom’s baby things sent to a town two days away, so she could look through them for family heirlooms. Every day she counted down until the day her baby would be here. Brian looked for houses, always ones on the beach; Dom searched for an OB that wouldn’t ask too many questions. And when all three of them went in for Mia’s first checkup, all three of them went at least a little teary eyed at the sound of a tiny-Torretto heartbeat. Everything was going amazing, her life was great (well, considering that they were all running from the US government of course).
Everything was great, until the day her little girl arrived.
At first everything had been great; she’d been blissed out on the epidural and oxytocin rushing through her system. She looked at her baby girl and couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. She was all Brian with the Torretto complexion. When Brian said the name Leona after Mia had her tucked into her arms, they both knew that it was right. Leona O’Conner was the perfect name for their little girl. Mia exchanged obnoxious grins with both Brian and Dom after he was let back into the room, all three watching as the nurses cleaned Lea up and stuck an ID tag matching Mia’s around her tiny wrist. Life was bliss.
Then, everything started to change.
Mia knew it was unfair to blame Brian for everything that had happened these past few months. He’d been brilliantly supportive and completely amazing throughout the entire pregnancy, and now that the baby was finally here he was an amazing dad. However, somewhere in the back of her mind, Mia just couldn’t help think that Brian was to blame. If Brian wasn’t so amazing then maybe she would have the chance to actually step up and be a good mom, maybe if Brian wasn’t so reliant on Dom’s almost constant presence in the house she wouldn’t feel like such a failure; even Mia’s darkest thoughts couldn’t find a way for it to be Brian’s fault that she didn’t want to hold her baby. In her conscious thoughts Mia knew that was what started all the problems; almost from the moment they brought Leona home from the hospital Mia couldn’t look at her. All the wonderful baby bliss that existed that moment she first saw Lea, had slowly leaked from her body and no matter how hard Mia tried she couldn’t get it back.
At first, Brian had taken it in stride, the baby books had all talked about how common ‘baby blues’ were and said that it would go away in a few days at the most. So, Brian had told Mia to go rest, that he would take care of Leona, and she let him. At first she convinced herself that she was just tired and stressed, that this would all end as soon as she got caught up on her sleep and settled back into her life. It worked for a while too, she would lie in bed most of the day and come out still feeling tired but forcing herself to hold her baby girl and feed her like she meant it. Things were changing though and Mia couldn’t hide the lack of appetite or the complete lack of sex drive. The day that Brian came home from the store with groceries and diapers to see Mia sitting on the couch watching some Brazilian soap while Leona screamed her head off in the nursery just a few feet away, Mia couldn’t even lie and say she just had to put her down for a second after trying everything else to calm her down, she just looked into Brian’s eyes and knew that all the pretending was over.
After that it seemed like Mia was never alone. If it wasn’t Brian constantly trying to convince her that she needed to see someone before things got worse, it was Dom invading their home and singing Lea to sleep or hugging Brian when he started crying from the stress. Some nights Dom would leave Elena at the house and take Brian and Lea out somewhere, Mia could only assume, to take them away from the stress she was projecting. She couldn’t help it, all the anger that welled up from seemingly nowhere, the random bursts of uncontrollable exhaustion and the waves of emptiness that seemed like they’d last forever. She felt hopeless to do anything about it, but anytime anyone suggested help she’d panic and not speak to anyone for the rest of the day.
Mia knew that she was drowning. She knew that if she didn’t do something about it soon she’d not only loose her family, but they’d grow to hate her as well. The monster inside of her, that made her sleep the days away and not speak to a soul for hours upon hours, wouldn’t allow her to fix it though. All she could do was sleep.
Sleep and wait for the inevitable.
It’s two in the morning when Mia finds them. She hasn’t been able to sleep through the night for a week now and she didn’t expect that to change this night. So, she gets out of bed and walks to the kitchen to spend the night doing nothing. She sees someone moving in the living room and can’t help but want to find out what could be keeping Brian up so late. Despite everything, Mia still needs to know what’s keeping him up.
She doesn’t expect to find Dom there. She expects to see Brian, perhaps with Lea, pacing the floor and trying to get back to bed. Dom is there though, with Lea in one arm and Brian in the other. Mia can see the look in her brother’s eyes as he stares at the blonde he has in a half-hug in his arms. Dom looks like his heart is breaking; like he wants nothing more than to fix whatever is wrong with Brian.
Mia knows what’s wrong with Brian, it’s her. She is what’s causing her boyfriend to silently cry on the shoulder of her brother in the middle of the night when he thinks no one but Dom can see him. As she continues to watch the thing that strikes Mia the most is how much they look like a family. They look like the family that Mia used to have. Mia can’t help but think back to when she used to come back from school to a house full of people; people playing video games and working on cars, people grilling meat and sitting with girlfriends, people she loved. Mia hasn’t felt this since Brian told her he was a cop and she can’t help but start to blame him again.
This isn’t hers though. She can’t come through the door of this house and scold Brian for putting his feet on the table or take Dom’s head off for losing his temper. Dom is still her brother and Brian is still everything to her but she can feel that whatever she’s seeing isn’t her family anymore. Brian and Dom are starting something, sitting on the floor of the living room, and Mia knows she just isn’t a part of it.
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Brian isn’t surprised when he hears Dom’s knock on the back door. They hadn't talked about him coming over tonight, but somehow Dom always seems to appear just as Brian needs him the most. Perhaps it’s because Brian needs him all the time now. Either way Dom is waiting at the back door, barely visible with only the small porch light to trace his outlines. Brian opens the door Lea wrapped in his arms nodding off, almost asleep, on his shoulder.
Dom takes over everything as soon as he’s in the door. He lifts Lea slowly from Brian’s arms cooing to her in Portuguese, they’re trying to make sure she knows the language. He takes Brian under his other arm and walks them into the living room and sits down on the couch, both Lea and Brian still tucked underneath him.
“How was it today?” Dom asks quietly hoping to keep Lea in a state of rest, something she doesn’t get as often as she should with the stress that radiates off of both her parents. “It was okay, like it always is.” Brian mumbles trying not to think about how hopeless he feels watching Mia the way she is. Mia was always the strong one, the one they all relied on and to see her like she is now, it tries Brian’s faith. “I just wish I knew what was wrong, if it could be fixed. I’m just tired of waiting Dom.”
“I know,” Dom says, thinking that as much as he does know, how much he hates seeing his little sister like this, there’s no way he can ever really know how Brian feels living day in and day out with the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with who can barely take a shower by herself anymore. “How was Leona today?”
“She was great,” Brian says but the dull tone in his voice says something’s up. “I hate seeing her affected so much by this Dom. I have the urge every day to pack all her stuff and just send her to you, but then I think about Mia and how much I want her to get better and I just can’t. How can I take her baby away from her?”
“She hasn’t touched Lea in weeks Bri,”
“I know Dom, but I just keep thinking about what happens when she gets better. Is she going to blame me for taking Lea away?” Brian asks hoping for an answer but not expecting to get one. “Plus I can’t leave Mia like this and there is no way in the world I could leave Lea. This is the only way I know how to do this and I can’t even keep up.”
With this declaration- this declaration it’s taken months of stress fractures of Brian’s emotional wellbeing and comfort in Dom’s arms to come to- Brian finally crashes. He’s had minor breakdowns before, but nothing quite like this. He cries. Not for the first time certainly, but it’s the first time he allows it to happen completely unhampered. He sobs and doesn’t hold in the sound; doesn’t try to keep it from escaping. Tears and snot run freely down his face. He’s clutching to Dom tightly, almost tearing the tight white t-shirt in two. Dom doesn’t care. He’s happy just to see Brian finally release all the control he’d been holding onto so tightly. Something Dom knows he’d never be capable of himself. Dom’s proud of Brian.
They sit like that for hours. Dom doesn’t say a word and Brian quiets after a while. Lea is surprisingly calm throughout the entire exchange; Dom thinks she’s probably slept through the entire thing. He can feel her relax a bit more in his arms after Brian is finished with his catharsis. They get up eventually. Both Brian and Dom take Lea into her room and set her down in her crib. They watch her for a few minutes, then turn and leave.
Dom stands just outside the doorway, unsure where to go. He could go back to his house, it’s just down the beach and at this time of night it wouldn’t take him any time to get there. He could also stay here. He’s slept in the guest bedroom before when nights ran to long or he wasn’t comfortable leaving. Mornings are the best part of the day in the O’Conner house. When everything is new, Mia is still in bed, and it’s easy to forget that their lives have been weighed down by their invisible monster.
“Are you going to stay?” Brian asks, eyes still red looking directly into Dom’s.
“I want to,” Dom answers softly looking in the room at Lea’s sleeping form. “I want you to stay too.”
Brian looks confused at first like he’s truly ignorant of what Dom means. He looks at Lea in the crib and looks back at Dom and seems to understand.
Brian walks to the guest bedroom. Dom follows.
It takes over ten hours for anyone to realize that Mia is missing. After a night spent crying on the floor Brian was happy to accept Dom’s suggestion to spend the day away from the house, and with Lea’s doctor’s appointment to make it to and an emergency at Dom’s garage they don’t make it back to the house until seven that night. They should have missed her in the morning, someone almost always checks on her in the mornings; with Lea’s appointment though, neither Dom nor Brian even think to go into the master bedroom Brian hadn’t slept in for the first time in months, and feels guilty for the best sleep he’s had in years.
They find the note in Lea’s room, pinned to a blanket that wasn’t there before, lying next to the crib.
Brian- I’m sorry I really am. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen and I know that you were only trying to help. But the idea of holding that little girl and pretending that she was mine, I couldn’t bear it. She’s not mine, Brian, she never was. I know it doesn’t excuse anything, I know I should have gone to see the doctor the first time you suggested it, but in a way I’m glad that it happened this way. I’m glad that she has you and Dom there for her. You’ll both be great dads, you already are. I’m glad that my sickness was the thing to break us apart instead of what’s happening with you and Dom. I’m glad that I can be responsible for your happiness one last time. Tell everyone I’m sorry and that I’ll be okay, I just need a while to get my head on straight; maybe I’ll be back sooner than you think. Maybe I won’t be back ever, I can’t really promise anything right now. Brian, can you do me one last favor? Can you please never tell Lea about me? Tell her she was conceived by a surrogate; tell her Aunt Mia loves her but needs to be on her own for a while. I am so sorry
Brian can’t help but feel angry at Mia’s words. He knows she’s giving him an out, giving him what he’s wanted for a while now, but it’s still so selfish of her that he can’t help but leave Dom and Lea staring at the note and take a walk outside. He knew that this was going to end badly. He knew it the day that Mia first refused counseling, he knew by the look in her eye, that this wasn’t going to get better. The idea that Mia could just walk out on them though, on this family that she’d had her entire life. That she’d cherished and protected her entire life. Something he’d never known until a few years ago. It stung, that she could do that.
He thought that maybe they would break up, Brian would move out with Lea to Dom’s, and Mia could get some comfort from the idea that Lea wasn’t her responsibility. He thought Mia might even go to the doctor’s then. That maybe if she didn’t feel like such a failure for neglecting Lea, she would be able to admit that she needed help that only a therapist could give her. That eventually she’d be able to look at her daughter again without seeing nothing there.
He never wanted her to leave.
Except he knew that he did want her to leave. He dreamt about it almost every night. At first it was dreams of being a single dad, taking Lea to the park after a shift at Dom’s, then going over to the cousin’s and having a play date with little Dom. Then the dreams evolved into living with Dom. It was nothing sexual or romantic at first. He just knew that if he could rely on anyone to take care of family, to be another parent to Lea, it was Dom. They grew though, as most domestic fantasies probably do, into the life Brian had always wanted to have.
And now, here he was standing on a beach with everything he’d be wanting for months and months now, and he was angry at Mia for giving it to him. He was angry at the woman that he had loved for so long for taking the easy path and hurting as few people as possible in the process. He knew that she was just doing what she had always done and took care of her family, only this time she took care of herself too.
Maybe, Brian was just mad that it had to end this way.
As much as he and Mia were never going to work out after all that had happened between them, he still wanted to be a part of her life.
It was almost half an hour before Dom came for him. Walking slowly down the beach with Lea strapped to his chest with what seemed like miles of cotton the first time they’d tried it on. Brian couldn’t even remember who’d gotten them the thing, Brian swore it was Tej but Dom wasn’t so sure. They’d both loved it though, being able to have Lea close but still be able to move around and do things. They’d spent months taking Lea everywhere in it. Thinking back to the first time Dom had slipped Lea into the little pocket on his chest, it amazed Brian even more that it had taken this long for things to break.
“What’s up?” Dom asks, like things are that simple “You look mad.”
“I am.”
“I know that she isn’t the best communicator, it was never a Torretto strong-suit.” Dom replies, sitting down with Lea in the sand and watching her curl further into his chest in response to the wind. “Anything in particular bothering you?”
“I’m half pissed at her, half at myself,” Brian hadn’t realized how much he wanted to talk about this until Dom asked. He still wasn’t quite used to the idea of wanting to share, but if the Torretto’s did have a strong-suit, it would be getting you to talk. “This is exactly what I wanted, but exactly the opposite of how I wanted it.”
“I think that maybe Mia knows what she’s doing here. She’s taken care of people her entire life, having a baby that would rely on her 24-7 for years and then most of the time for the rest of her life might have just been too much. She thought she wanted something that she found out she couldn’t handle. You know we’ve both made bigger mistakes than that.”
Brian just thinks how unfair it is that Dom is so insightful now.
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Brian can’t help but think about when he was 15 and his grandfather had begun dying. The whole family didn’t want to admit that it was happening but they could all see how George was deteriorating. He got weaker and weaker until he finally couldn’t leave the bed. Brian’s grandmother begun to plan the funeral a month before he actually passed. They all began to grieve in this way before George had even died. It was too hard to see their father/grandfather/uncle/husband be reduced to such pain and absence of mind. So they planned. They planned the funeral, they planned the memorial service, they filed forms for social security and medicare, and they began dividing belongings among the family. They planned a death.
They grieved before death had even officially settled in. It felt wrong to move on from their grief even after they had accepted the death, because after all, how can you be at peace with your grandfather dying after just a few weeks?
Looking back Brian can’t help but notice the similarities.
He knows that just like no one will ever replace his grandfather, no one could ever replace Mia. Mia would always be the amazing woman who took him in and gave him the confidence that he really did belong, the person that still smelled good even after a week of living in the car, the girlfriend that gave him a daughter despite all the danger and hardship she suffered because of it.
If Brian felt guilty about anything it was thinking about Mia like this…like she was dead.
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They don’t talk about the letter much after that. They’re both tempted to bring up what Mia said about the two of them, but neither is really comfortable talking about the possibility of a relationship so soon after Mia’s gone. So Dom just stays the night and helps with Lea as much as he can. He wants to prove his sister right and take care of the family he always relied so heavily on her to keep together. And he did rely on Mia, he relied on her to do all the practical things he was never good at doing, he relied on her to keep tempers relatively under control, but mostly he relied on her to be the emotional center that none of the team was comfortable being.
So every time he sang Lea to sleep or sat on the couch watching TV with Brian, he remembered his sister and how strong she must have been to keep going for as long as she did. Dom hoped that he could be as strong, because he had a family that relied on him now. A family that wanted more than just a leader and an adrenaline rush to keep them going. Brian and Lea needed him to be more than that now. Lea needed someone to stay up late and learn math to teach to her the next day. Brian needed someone to dry dishes as he washed and complain about his shitty day to. They needed him to be there day in and day out.
The hardest part about it wasn’t the being there physically. Dom felt comfortable spending more nights at Brian’s than he did at his own. The hardest part was being there emotionally. Dom was never the best at sharing, something that it seemed most of his family shared. Add to that two years in Lompoc and telling Brian that he’d had a bad day and was feeling like crap took an almost monumental effort on his part. He did it though. Well, he tried every day to do it. Sometimes he knew he wasn’t doing that well, but he tried and he knew that Brian saw that and Lea felt it, even if she was a little too young to really understand what emotions even were.
And Brian did know. He knew that Dom was trying so hard to fill a spot they all thought Mia would be in. He appreciated Dom wanting to be in this situation with him, that he was sacrificing relationships to be here so constantly. Sure, both Rosa and Elena dropped by the house regularly to check up on them, but it wasn’t the same as how it used to be. Dom hardly ever went out with the guys from the shop after work anymore. Dom never left the house without telling Brian when he would be back. All Brian could think was how lucky he was to have this family –Dom, Lea, Mia, all of them- that would sacrifice so much to make things easier for him.
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It’s a month after Mia leaves that Brian feels comfortable moving out of the house. Dom had first mentioned Brian and Lea moving in with him three days after, but Brian wasn’t ready. He knew that it didn’t feel right to stay in this house that Mia and him bought together, to have a life in together, without her, but it just wasn’t quite time. So, Brian started off packing the few things that Mia had left behind- a bottle of shampoo, three pairs of flip-flops, a picture of her mother (this he doesn’t put away, instead tucking it into the corner of a frame in Lea’s room, hoping that one day Dom will tell Lea about where she comes from). It helps to get rid of these constant reminders, and after letting himself grieve for just a while more, Brian is finally ready.
They dropped Lea off at Rosa’s and pack up everything in the house. It only takes them seven hours and three trips with a borrowed truck to get Brian and Lea’s life completely moved. It’s cathartic to sell the bed, the furniture, the house. It feels better than it should to wipe the slate completely clean, start a new life that doesn’t include Mia. That’s not to say that Mia won’t be a constant presence to both Brian and Dom, but the memory of her sickness and what it did isn’t in Dom’s house, their house. They can finally move on. Brian’s more than grateful when Dom suggests they let Lea sleep over at her cousin’s. Her crib still isn’t reassembled and Brian isn’t up to the task of putting it together. Brian finishes putting away the last dish before he realizes that he doesn’t have a bed here. He sold the bed from the old house, a bed that he could never think of as anything other than Mia’s. So when Dom offers to share the master bed, there’s not a lot of other choices. It’s not the first time that Brian and Dom have shared a bed, but this time feels different, it feels like they’re partners, like they should be going to be like this every night, almost permanent. Dom feels permanent, like nothing in his life has felt for a long time. “You know this is only the second time I’ve left Lea for the night.” Brian says trying to sound casual as he rolls on top of the sheets. “The first time I left her with you, this is worse.” “Rosa will take good care of her; she was born to be a mom.” Dom assures settling himself next to Brian.
“I know,”
Somehow, these words are enough. They both know what it means that Brian is telling Dom he only really trusts Lea with him, that Brian is starting to feel it’s okay to let even the tiniest bit of his own guilt about what happened with Mia go, that they’re both lying here in Dom’s house…their house, on a bed they’re sharing, having this conversation. It leaves Brian with hope that they’ll always need so few words, that understanding one another will always come so easy, even if agreeing with one another doesn’t. Dom kisses him on the forehead good night, what feels like a real kiss to them, for the first time that night. It’s been a long time coming and with the new start they’ve made for themselves once again they finally feel ready. They’ve somehow bridged the gap that Mia’s presence had put between them yet hasn’t filled since Lea was born, and everything is starting off without any lingering darkness surrounding them. So Brian feels more than comfortable kissing Dom back, full on the lips.
It lasts longer than Dom would expect, this –cuddling- he would guess to call it. But the feel of Brian pressing himself just a little closer to Dom with each kiss and each brush of skin on skin, is better than Dom can imagine and keeps him up despite how tired the move has made him. He finds a way to move his heavy muscles though. He moves them up and down Brian’s body, occasionally tangling with Brian’s own exploration of Dom. His favorite part of Brian is the tight string of muscle branching off of his neck and twisting down onto his shoulder, keeping his head held just so as Dom bites the strand. The way that Brian’s eyes always seem to meet with his at every possibility is a close second. They drift off fast though; even the exploration of something this new isn’t enough to keep them at it for long. Dom lies on his back, dragging Brian across the bed to lie next to him. The thought that this is a good first memory for this house occurs to both of them.
Mia would be truly happy to hear that they’d worked their way through the mess that her illness had caused for all of them.
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When Brian wakes up the next morning, it feels a little like a honeymoon, despite the fact that he’s done nothing but kiss Dom. It’s bright in Dom’s room, their room Brian supposes it is now, and the northern light exposure does wonderful things for the color of Dom’s skin. It’s dark and golden, just like it always was in California, but here in Brasil, Brian can’t help but think that it glows. Maybe, it’s just his new perception changing how he sees things. Maybe, he’s just noticing more, now that he’s finally looking. Whatever the reason, Dom’s never looked quite as good to him as he does this morning.
If Brian is honest with himself he’s surprised how much he’s been able to change. Not to say that he found himself magically and inexorably attracted to Dom the moment he read Mia’s words on the page, but something about their circumstances does make him wonder if things didn’t happen for a reason. Brian’s always appreciated Dom in a sexual way, but it never really meant anything before now. Almost since the first look at surveillance photos, back during his LAPD phase, it’d always been Mia. She’d sparked his interest right away. Even in his own mind Brian wasn’t the type to stray.
His bond with Dom was undeniable though. Through the worst possible betrayals and long separations filled with anger Brian was always connected with him, and Brian found himself doing things he never thought he’d do to save Dom. It almost seemed inevitable now that they should end up together. They’d shared almost everything else, why not a home and a bed?
And what a bed it was. Brian had slept better last night than he had for years before; he was sure the mattress earned all the credit. Although, perhaps it was finally the feeling of being settled that gave him such peace. From almost his conception Brian’s life was chaotic. On the run with Rome from his earliest years, to racing the streets with Dom and the crew, to finding out that Mia was pregnant, everything was a rush. As a confirmed adrenaline junkie, he’d enjoyed it. The high only lasts so long though and eventually you need to stop and take a breath.
So lying in the most comfortable bed in the world, with the man he’d trusted everything to, was like therapy in a way.
“You thinking?” Dom moans almost as soon as he begins to stir.
“Not so much, just enjoying the bed. I don’t think I’ve ever slept so well.” Brian answered flipping himself over towards the other man.
Dom doesn’t say much after that. He mainly just looks at Brian. First he stares directly into his eyes, as if he’s attempting to telepathically link with Brian. Next, his eyes sweep over the face trying to copy each line and ridge into memory. His hands join him in his search. Both hands and eyes move downwards-neck, collarbone, shoulder, breast, side, stomach-they all get the same treatment. It’s gentle and it’s surprisingly un-erotic. Brian’s not sure what to make of it. So he just goes with the flow and looks back.
Soft. It’s Brian’s first impression during his first true study (he thinks it’s not likely his last). The muscles that seem so hard, so tough give way with little pressure, but when Dom moves and flexes in response to Brian’s light touch, Brian can feel the power, the strength. His skin is in patches, not all of it is soft (palms, for example, have more than their fair share of callous) and not all of it is rough (thighs are of particular surprise in this area).
They spend a lot of the morning like this, unrushed in their exploration. Even though Brian is eager to take the drive to Rosa’s and hold Lea again, it’s easier than he thought to hold off for just a few more hours while he can spend this time uninterrupted with Dom. They eventually get up to eat and shower. Teeth brushing seems to hold an extra importance. There isn’t any hurry though, they’ve got all the time in the world.
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Life seems to settle after. They get into a routine. Everyday Brian and Dom switch on which one of them will go to work at the shop and who will stay at home with Lea. Brian always seems to work more than Dom, but he doesn’t really mind. He knows that Dom is somehow trying to make up for lost time, he’s trying to get Lea to recognize him as a parent and not just an uncle like everyone had been telling her. Brian enjoys working again as well. He’s missed going somewhere and talking to people that aren’t his family every day, he’s missed having time to be productive and at the same time have time for himself. It doesn’t hurt that they get some pretty great cars in through the shop, and as much as Lea has changed the way that he lives his life, he doubts this part of him will ever change. He was born to be with cars.
Dom even asks him out one afternoon. So, while Brian knows that they’re not talking about this and they’re not naming it, this is still a date. Brian gets nervous, but is happy to call up the babysitter and attempt to find a shirt that has neither transmission fluid or baby food on it to wear. When Dom takes them to a movie theatre, Brian can’t help but feel a little ridiculous. He doesn’t say anything though, just gets out of the car and attempt to enjoy his night. Brian thinks this may be just the perfect first date for a couple that already had a daughter anyways.
“Underworld 3?” Brian asks surprised at Dom’s choice.
“It was either this or Beauty and the Beast 3D.” Dom answers with a grin that Brian hasn’t seen in a long time. Brian’s more than happy to have it back.
They walk into the theatre and Brian follows Dom up to the top row. He feels likes a teenager sneaking up to the top so that no one can see them as they make out. The idea has its merits, except for the fact that Brian has actually wanted to see this movie and Dom and him can go home and make out in their perfectly nice bedroom. They more than likely will; after they check on Lea, make sure the house is locked up and check on Lea again of course. It’s weird that they’re parents, now that they have responsibilities that mean they can’t just roll into bed at any time. They both still love it somehow.
The movie is nice, Brian will admit not as good as the first one, but he’s just happy to see a movie at all. It was nice to see one with Dom too. At first Brian wasn’t really sure at the idea of a movie-date, there was no way to talk to one another or do anything together really, just sit and watch the movie. It was nice though, to feel Dom beside him and try to guess his reactions to the movie and just be in the same space together focused on the same thing. Although Brian would admit he was less focused on the movie than he was on spending time alone with Dom. There were good things about having a child around to focus on and share insights about, but they didn’t get to just be with each other very often and Brian thought that was a huge mistake.
Dom doesn’t say anything after the movie gets out. He doesn’t ask how Brian liked it or offer his opinion. He just walks to the car and waits for Brian to get in. So Brian just follows his lead and gets into the car. Dom doesn’t drive home though. Instead he drives to the freeway and leans a little heavy on the gas pedal. Neither has driven quite like this in a while.
Dom doesn’t really have a destination in mind; he just knows that if Brian and he work at all, they work like this. They work with just themselves and the machine against the pavement, driving a race that they can never hope to win, except Dom wants to win this time. So he pushes the pedal a little further. They’re driving up the coast now, going further north than is probably safe. They’ve avoided Rio at all costs for a long time now, even if they’ve stayed in Brasil. Brasil means family to the both of them now and they’d leave if they had to, but only if they had to.
Brian wants to say something, he wants to talk to Dom and know what he’s thinking about. He doesn’t though. He stays quiet because he knows that right now Dom is trying to make him feel something and he knows that words won’t help him understand it. So he slouches in his seat trying to put himself back into the days where they did this, back to LA when things were new. Brian remembers the first time Dom took him for a drive. Brian was nervous. He was nervous because he wasn’t sure how well he would hold up to scrutiny when he was so alone with Dom, but also because it was Dom and he’d let Brian into his family and Brian wanted to prove himself worthy. Brian doesn’t feel so nervous now. He wants to know what Dom is doing, what he’s thinking, but its more curiosity than any genuine concern.
“Brian?” Dom asks after a while.
“Yeah?” Brian replies, trying hard to seem unconcerned.
“I miss driving,” Dom says not quite adding on the ‘with you’ but Brian picks it up anyways.
“Yeah, me too.”
“I used to do this with my dad you know?” Dom starts and Brian refuses to say anything, forcing Dom to finish the story he so obviously wants to tell. “We would go out and just drive. He’d always let me choose where we went. When I was young I would just pick random intersections to turn at and take exits I’d never taken before. He’d ask about my life, he’d tell me stories about racing or cars. We kept doing it when I grew up too; mainly we’d go out when my temper was about to burst. He’d push me into the car and we’d drive until I told him what was up. My dad knew me better than anyone in the world and I love him more than anyone else too… I just want you to know that I don’t do this lightly, this thing that we’re doing means a lot to me.”
“I’m glad”
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Their next date is more like a family date than anything else. They take Lea, a cooler filled with food, and sunscreen and walk down to the beach to spend the day. They don’t do this that often, despite living right on the beach and Brian thinks this is something they should add on their todo list, right after buy Lea new clothes and go on more drives. Dom takes Lea and walks straight into the water holding her up so that just her legs are in the water. Lea squeals with delight and shows Brian the biggest grin from where he’s sitting with their stuff attempting to find the toys that he swore they brought with them. Dom can’t help but torment his little girl some more, slowly dunking her in further and further into the water until she was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe. Brian still wasn’t quite sure how Lea could be ticklish from water, but she was and the feeling of waves on her was an instant trigger for peals of uncontrollable laughter.
Lea could only take so much more before Dom lifted her fully out of the water and into his arms as he waded further into the ocean and once in a while poked her toes in. Brian eventually joined them, content to have watched them for a while but unable to help his urge to get in there and play himself.
“Hey,” Brian called as his toes sunk into the sand. “Is Papai being mean to you?”
Dom turns around and grins at Brian pretending to toss Lea over to him, receiving a long stream of laughter for his troubles.
“Papai” Lea screams, it’s not the first time she’s said it and they both love to hear it, but the internet has assured them that she doesn’t actually understand what it means yet. She’s just exploring with language and Papai is a word she knows she gets rewarded for saying.
“Yeah, Papai is vicious isn’t he?” Brian asks lifting Lea from Dom’s arms and turning her onto her stomach in his arms. He flies her around for quite a bit, getting direction and even help from Dom. Eventually though they both get tired and walk back to the beach to collapse on their blanket and search for some food.
They spend the rest of the day there, occasionally in the water but mainly out of it. Instead they concern themselves with playing in the sand and building great architectural marvels with buckets and shovels. They go home for dinner and are more than happy that they have a house so close. Brian in particular can’t imagine how tired he would be if they lived further away. Somehow, in the midst of everything that has happened, Brian and Dom have become not only parents, but a fully functioning American Dream model for happiness.
All they had to do was commit several felonies and run from the US government for the rest of their lives to do it.
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A day to the month after Brian and Dom have their first date, Brian decides that he wants to have sex. It’s not as much of a build up as he expected, but he wants it and all he can hope for is that Dom wants it as well. He waits until they’ve had dinner, they’ve tucked Lea into bed and they’ve each had their respective showers to bring it up. He wants to be causal about it and be direct. He had no idea how to do that though. Even after thinking about it all day, all Brian has come up with is ‘I want to have sex’. He’s fucked things up before though and this will be just one more thing that he doesn’t get right. Somehow he doesn’t think that this will result in the same reaction as when he didn’t tell Dom about Letty though, so right from the start he’s already winning.
Brian finishes his shower and makes his way to the bed. Usually they’re both clothed in some manner but Brian thinks this will probably work better without clothes, so after Dom disappears into the bathroom, Brian shucks his boxers off and slides between the sheets. It’s a long wait until Dom is done. Brian thinks Dom’s shaved head should make it quicker for him, but eternity seems to drag by before Dom turns the shower off. It takes almost as long for him to emerge from the bathroom with just a towel around his waist. Brian thinks he must know. There is no way that Dom could just come out of the bathroom looking the way he does and wearing as little as he does and not know beforehand how it would affect Brian. Dom must know what Brian had planned for tonight. It’s the only explanation. When Dom walks over the dresser and pulls out a pair of old sweatpants and drags them on underneath the towel, the only explanation is that he’s purposefully teasing Brian. Brian keeps quiet though and waits. He waits for Dom to turn off the lights, take one last peek across the hall at Lea, and slip into bed next to him.
When Dom turns onto his side and scoots over next to Brian to place and hand on his naked hip, the shock that Brian can feel in Dom through just his palm tells Brian that perhaps Dom didn’t actually know. Brian pushes through though and turns around to face Dom. He can’t see him just yet, his eyes only having a few moment to adjust to the dark, but he can make out his outline and feel the tension radiating from Dom.
“I thought we could have sex,” Brian says somehow even though he surely wasn’t the one to encourage those words to leave his mouth. They seem to do the trick though. As Dom’s mouth descends to capture Brian’s in an urgent kiss, Brian thinks maybe fucking it up is the way to go. Dom’s insistent tugging at Brian’s bared body seems to be a good indicator. Dom’s enthusiasm was contagious, Brian had wanted to have sex before, but now, now it was like they were racing again. This wasn’t a quarter mile though, this was a rally and Brian planned to take his time and do it right.
Dom’s clothes seemed to take themselves off in the presence of Brian’s mouth slowly working its way from Dom’s mouth, to pectoral, to hip, to cock. Here Brian takes his time. He wraps his mouth around Dom, strokes then scratches at Dom’s thighs, even attempts to try and get Dom’s balls into the action before realizing that area is just too sensitive to really be any fun for Dom. Brian likes this. He likes that he can sense what Dom is thinking (deep long sucks are a big yes, licking at the base not as much) just through the small amount of contact they have here but also he likes that he knows that Dom is going to be doing the same to him, that he gets to truly share this with him. Dom takes longer than Brian expected, but Brian’s happy for the time spent intimately with Dom’s dick, Brian plans on becoming good friends with it. When Dom does cum though, it happens almost lazily, like Dom’s sperm are happy to take their time in coming out.
When Dom returns the favor Brian isn’t exactly sure it’s what he was expecting. Dom is usually the man in charge of every situation, he knows what he wants and he goes after it. Here, in their bed, in this moment though he seems unsure. Perhaps he’s just unsure of where to start, but when he finds the place Brian is happy to have him there. Brian never knew his nipples to be so sensitive before, but when Dom slides his mouth over one and just sucks Brian almost goes crazy with how good it feels. Dom only makes it better though, taking a path very similar to the one Brian forged but moments ago, he makes his way down Brian’s body and settles over Brian’s dick. Brian comes a little faster, taking his time to appreciate the thumb pressing gently right behind his balls before shooting into Dom’s mouth.
Sleep is inevitable, but they both resist for just a moment longer, wanting to see the other’s face and know their reactions to the amazing events just recently finished. Dom seems to be happy with what he finds, curling his arm around Brian’s torso and dozing off right there. Brian does what he always ends up doing and follows Dom down.
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Three weeks later and Lea is celebrating her first birthday. It’s a great party and everyone has made it down to Rio to celebrate. Children are running around Dom’s yard, Rosa looks content as her son plays with a coloring book on a picnic table, and everything is going amazing. Some of the team don’t really seem to get what exactly happened to Mia to make her disappear or what exactly Dom and Brian’s relationship is now (not that Dom and Brian are exactly clear on that themselves), but they all just put the focus on the birthday girl and buy her ridiculous presents that she won’t be able to use until she’s at least 13. When they light the candle on the cake, Brian can’t help but think that this is almost exactly what he pictured his daughter’s first birthday going. The only that’s missing is Mia, but even that hurts a little less than it did even a month ago.
It’s been a long time since the team was together, and while there’s talk of pulling another job they all know it’s just a dream. A dream that Brian isn’t actually all that eager to see come true. Sure Rio was one of the best times of his life, but what he has here with Dom and their daughter it’s so much better. They go to the grocery store together. They go to the park together. They have Nic and Rosa over and don’t even feel weird about how fucking weird their life turned out. Sure, he misses the adrenaline, but adrenaline has nothing on oxytocin in Brian’s book. Still, they talk. They talk about Han’s recent stay in Turkey, how Rome and Tej’s shop is doing, and what exactly was the last time any of them had a run in with law of any sort. It’s good to have them back.
Dom has spent almost the entire party settled into a deck chair, content to sit and watch. Han is handy enough with a grill that he doesn’t feel the need to take charge. Unsurprisingly, at least to the people who know her well, Lea spends most of her time settled into his lap, watching shyly as people move around her house and try to talk to her. Brian tries to move about the yard and talk to everyone, make them feel welcome, but he always ends up sitting in the chair next to Dom taking Lea into his arms and leaning towards Dom unconsciously. Everyone at the party can sense that things with them aren’t quite what they seem. They’ve talked to Rosa about it, not in such defined terms as partners or boyfriends, but they’ve let her know that they are taking care of Lea now as a team…a team that she might occasionally see kissing when she drops off Lea and Nic, as he’s becoming known. She doesn’t care, most of the team from what they can see don’t either. Brian thinks it might be the fact that they’ve all been shot at together that makes them not give a fuck.
“How is she a year old already?” Dom whispers to him in the early evening, just after the last of the food has been eating and just before Rome will pull out fireworks, completely inappropriate for a one-year-old’s party.
“I’ve got no idea,” Brian whispers back, settling deeper into his chair and running a loving hand across his daughter’s back. Brian loves when she’s like this, quiet and shy around new people. It’s not that much of a change from her regular personality, if anything Lea is the most reserved baby Brian’s ever met, but when she’s like this she clings more. Brian can’t help but enjoy the times that she needs to be held and comforted while she watches all the new things that go on around her. To get to sit with her like this, smell her hair, play with her toes, do all the things he’d never thought about ever doing with a baby before.
Brian’s surprised himself with just how well he’s taken to being a father. He’d been running for so long that he wasn’t sure how well he’d take to settling down, to taking things a little slower. With Lea though, the little things seem so big. The first time Lea had rolled over, it’d felt like the first time he’d boosted a car with Rome so long ago. When Lea cracked her head open on the coffee table while attempting to walk, he’d panicked so fully that not even being shot at could come close to the amount of adrenaline that had shot through his system. Not to mention how it is to watch Dom sit on the floor and play with her.
Dom is the world’s best dad as far as Brian is concerned. He’s the one out of the two of them that has any idea about how to fix a little girls hair. He’s the one that usually wakes Lea up in the morning, putting up with her grumpy attitude that seems impossible for someone so young to have developed already, and carts her off to the breakfast table. The best thing about him though, is that he always wants to be there with Lea and Brian, something Brian can’t even begin to put into context with the way that he was raised. He couldn’t ask for a better partner though; Dom knows him so well by now that they can anticipate the others moods and reactions most of the time and take control whenever the other seems overly stressed. Bath time seems to cause this change in power more than anything else.
Rome does bring out the fireworks and both Brian and Dom agree to them as long as they don’t scare any of the kids bouncing around the yard. Lea seems to enjoy the bright bunches of color that appear suddenly in the sky and the loud bang that gives a preamble doesn’t seem to bother her too bad either. She keeps a careful eye on Rome seeming to understand the relationship between the explosions in the sky and this strange man’s movements. There doesn’t seem to be much of a pattern to Rome’s choices in pyrotechnics and the variety seems to keep Lea’s interest. She eventually gets enthralled with the strange happenings that she forgets her apprehension and crawls off of Brian’s lap and toddles over to Nic and his cousins to share in the fun.
Brian shifts his attention to Dom; sure that Lea is far enough away from the fireworks for the moment. Dom is still looking at Lea, unable to be as sure in her safety as Brian is, cautious with her like he’s never been able to be with himself. Brian’s known that he loves Dom for a long time now, ever since Brian felt himself apart of the Torretto family really. Now it’s different though. Brian still feels that deep sense of belonging that he’d never truly had before he’d shown up and become part of the gang, but there’s something new there now. It’s attraction sure, and it’s trust, but it’s also commitment. Brian’s ready to raise their daughter with Dom and Brian is sure that Dom is ready to do the same with Brian. “We should get a dog,” Brian blurts out, more of a thought connected to the domesticity that he feels in this moment than any desire to adopt a pet.
“A Great Dane,” Dom agrees, pulling another swallow from his beer. “We could name it Max.”
“I like Max.” Brian grins, happy to see everyone so happy. “You think Lea’s old enough to handle a dog?”
“I think that she would be way to scared of it to try and ride it like a horse, other than that what’s the problem?”
“Good point.”
The finale of fireworks goes off making a sound eerily like machine gun fire. Lea is grinning from her place on the grass though, so Brian can excuse his best friend’s eccentricities. Brian will admit that he enjoys it himself as well. The bright bursts remind him of a time when backyard grilling was a regular occurrence and the most he had to plan for was what kind of dressing to pull from the fridge before helping Mia take everything outside. Everything feels more honest now though. Brian is just who he is now, there isn’t any secrets or things left unsaid. Brian has finally found what he’s been looking for since he signed up for the police academy…a place to just be. He can only hope that he’s helped Dom find the same. He knows that Dom has struggled with the same thing for a lot longer than Brian has. Dom has always had to live up to a certain image, whether it be as Mia’s older brother or as the team’s leader, Dom has always had to be someone all the time. Brian is sure that Dom knows he can be whoever he wants to be with Brian.
Lea toddles over to her parents again, after all the excitement is over and somehow manages to crawl up all by herself into Brian’s lap. Dom pulls himself up off his chair and manages to squeeze his way in between Brian and the back of his recliner, slotting their legs just so that they lined up perfectly. From this new position he takes a hold of Lea’s tiny little fingers wrapping them around his own and taking his family into his arms. He thinks about Mia in this moment. He wonders where she is right now and how she’s doing. He thinks about how much he’s messed up her life and how many times she’s saved his. He thinks about how strong she’s become. He thinks about how he hopes he’s kept his silent promise to her that he’ll always be there for her daughter. He mostly thinks about how amazed he is that everything seems to have worked out this time. How this little bit of turmoil has ended without sprouting up new problem after new problem. He knows he has Mia to thank for that, and he’s never been more grateful.
He kisses the back of Brian’s neck as he takes in his daughter’s first birthday and hopes that the next seventeen will work out just as well.
“You think there’s any way to keep her this well behaved?” Dom asks quietly rubbing her soft head.
“Not if you don’t want to pay for years and years of therapy there isn’t.” Brian laughs leaning back against Dom and enjoying the night.