Chapter Text
It's Saturday and the Bakusquad and Dekusquad are hanging out together in 3d printer's room (because her bed is big enough to fit most of them). Katsuki is only there because dumbass Kirishima gave him those godforsaken puppy dog eyes and the rest is history. The night's been pretty chill so far, the Dekusquad mostly exchanging notes and the Bakusquad mostly exchanging memes. But Katsuki should've known that any sort of gathering involving pinkie pie was bound to eventually include some sort of party game.
"LET'S PLAY PARANOIA!!!"
Pikachu looks over at raccoon eyes. "Huh. Never heard of that one."
"That's because I just made it up! So basically, we spin a bottle, and whoever it lands on has to tell an embarrassing secret about someone else! But the catch is that it could be a lie! Everyone else votes on whether they think it's a lie or not, and then the person who told the secret reveals if it's a lie! Then we spin the bottle again!"
Ponytail smiles wide. "Interesting! I've never played a game like that before! Are there any other rules, Ashido-san?"
Pinkie pie nods. "Try not to make the secrets too devastating– no outing anyone, either. The secrets are supposed to be funny, something we can all laugh off, so don't go overboard! Alright, who wants to play?" Pretty much everyone agrees immediately.
"Sounds dumb, I'm leaving." Katsuki gets up but is stopped yet again by stupid fucking Kirishima.
The dumbass pouts. "C'mon, Bakubro! First year is almost over! Aren't you gonna miss us at all?"
"Nope," Katsuki denies quickly.
"Well at least play one round! What if you get the chance to tell everyone one of Midoriya's secrets?"
This gives Katsuki pause. After a moment, he sits down. "Fucking fine, I guess."
"Alright!! Let's get started!!" Raccoon eyes turns to 3d printer, who produces a bottle of apple juice from her arm and sets it down. The pink-haired menace gives the bottle a good spin, with it eventually landing on round face.
Round face hums."Tsu-chan's favorite bug to eat is mosquitoes. She says they taste salty." Everyone laughs for a bit at that. (Except Katsuki, who doesn't understand why they're laughing. She's literally a frog, why wouldn't she eat bugs???) "Who votes lie?" 3d printer, pikachu, and soy sauce all raise their hands. "It's the truth!" Then round face spins the bottle and it lands on ears.
"Den's first kiss was in sixth grade. She told him his breath smelled like fish."
This gets a significantly better reaction out of everyone, with even Katsuki cracking up a bit. Dunce face grasps at his heart dramatically. "I can't believe this… Betrayed by my own flesh and blood…"
Lobes shrugs. "Sorry. Couldn't think of anything else."
"Lies, Kyo! Lies!"
Half n half raises his hand to vote lie, as do pinkie pie and frog face. "It's a lie," lobes says. She uses one of her jacks to spin the bottle again. It lands on Deku, who smiles apologetically at round face. "Ochaco writes fanfiction about Kirishima-kun and Kacchan. Sorry, Ochaco." Round face smacks Deku on the arm.
Katsuki raises his hand. "That better be a fucking lie." 3d printer, Kirishima, and pikachu raise their hands as well.
"It's true." Deku elbows round face. "I only found out last week." Kirishima blushes, quickly spinning the bottle to change the subject. Plain face is the next target.
"Oh, that's easy," he says, grinning. "Mina spent ¥50,000 of her own money on an eight-inch strap-on. I know this because I was there when she fucked Denki with it."
Deku spits out his water, coughing like mad, with icyhot rubbing his back. Dunce face pouts. "Hantaaaa! Rude! Everyone come to my defense!" Kirishima, round face, half n half, and frog face raise their hands.
"It's true!" Pinkie pie says, laughing her ass off. She reaches out and spins the bottle, with it landing on Kirishima.
"Hmm…" Kirishima frowns, tapping his chin. Slowly, his face morphs into a nervous smile. "Uhh, hey, Bakugou! We're bros, right?"
Katsuki narrows his eyes at the shitty-haired bastard before him. "Choose your next words carefully."
"Bakugou jerks off at exactly eight pm on the first of every month!" Kirishima blurts out suddenly, giggling.
Katsuki blushes as everyone around him laughs, gasps, chokes, or some combination of the three. "IT'S CALLED TIME MANAGEMENT, ASSHOLE! MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T MARRIED TO YOUR RIGHT HAND, YOU'D UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT!" Everyone is on the verge of tears at this point.
"What are you talking about, Bakugou-kun?" Icyhot asks, lip quirked up a fraction of a centimeter.
Katsuki jabs a finger at Kirishima. "HE'S A FUCKING PORN ADDICT IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! I HAVE TO PUT ON FUCKING NOISE-CANCELLING HEADPHONES EVERY NIGHT!"
Kirishima laughs even harder. "That's so rich coming from you, dude!! You're so fucking loud !!"
"Oh my god, just admit you listen to each other jerking off, you useless gays," Deku says, wiping a tear from his eye.
Katsuki glares at him. "THIS IS WHY YOUR DAD LEFT YOU, YOU FUCKING BITCH." The laughter, which had died down to half-hearted snickers, reignites with a passion.
"Okay, okay!" Raccoon eyes giggles. "We're not voting on that one, for obvious reasons. Actually, I think we're done here!"
"THANK FUCKING GOD." Katsuki gets up and stomps out of the room.