Chapter Text
This is a banner I made for the story that's a safe size for mobile users (sorry if it's small for you).
No copyright on the YouTube logo intended.
-X-
The first time that Derek hears of YouTube, it's when Cora and Laura are tag teaming him with another stupid prank. After all, he's in middle school and they're in elementary - there's bound to be a maturity gap somewhere along the lines.
Now, Derek wasn't even phased - even as the screen changed from an innocent screenshot of a maze to what's-her-face from The Exorcist. He just spun around slowly in his chair and raised a single eyebrow at his sisters to silently ask: was that it?
Still, Derek, despite the unusual first encounter, was not all too "about" YouTube like everyone else was. He never cared much for Myspace when it was a thing, and now that Facebook is quickly gaining popularity, he could honestly care less about what seemed to be the latest fad.
But, then again...
There were some positives to this strange, new website.
He had found this out while passing in the hallway by their office, only to find Cora and Laura laughing at two guys doing a terrible lip sync to "I Want It That Way". It was then that Derek realized there was a promise of something more on YouTube - an opening door that couldn't be found anywhere else, really.
So, one day, when Cora and Laura were away at soccer practice for the evening, Derek hopped onto their communal desktop and typed YouTube in on the search bar.
It took him a good while, and he was about to just call it quits and forget about the site altogether, but then ... then he found something interesting.
He came across what looked like a new breed of "comedians".
People would apparently write skits or do stupid things on camera, and would then proceed to upload whatever happened onto the site. Derek found that he liked this kind of raw, unprofessionalism that came with what seemed to be a quickly growing thing to do. With that growth, Derek found something beginning to sprout its way up underneath his skin, like an itch that starts at the base of your spine and spreads until it seems like all of your flesh is crawling about your bones.
For the first time in forever, Derek found himself wanting to join the newest movement on the internet, and because of that, he soon became addicted to the place that started the whole new obsession of his.
He was probably far too eager to create his first account on YouTube, but as he typed in his username - BIGBAD618 - Derek couldn't help but shiver with the shrill of excitement that lit up his nerves as though it were matches scraping against the striking surface of its container.
He nearly flipped whenever he first got to see his account page. Even with its non-personalized, anonymous look, Derek felt at home when he looked at it. Even with its blankness, Derek felt pride when he browsed about the sections.
It was as though just having an account made him someone that was on top of the world - and it was great.
It was great to be able to finally comment on videos he watched and like them - to horde and save them into playlists that he could binge watch later. He probably went through everything he could, devouring videos and content like he was a dehydrated man in the middle of a typhoon - opening his mouth wide to catch whatever precious drops he could to sate the wild thirst that scratched its way down from his throat and into his chest.
He was desperate, and because of that, it's probably how Derek came upon him.
It was by pure happenstance that Derek found the boy. He had just typed in "skit" and was hoping for the best. It was the first video Derek saw, and interestingly enough, the title is what drew Derek in.
"Myspace vs. Facebook - The Ultimate Showdown"
Derek quickly clicked onto the link and waited for the video to load.
The first few seconds were title screens, but that was fine. What movie didn't have an introduction? What play didn't have an opening scene?
Derek could do this.
Through the speakers, a voice - male, from its sound - begins to speak, "Ladies and Gentlemen, the age-long question shall finally be answered... Is Facebook better than Myspace, or shall it lose to its forerunner?"
Derek shuffles a little in his seat, his interest peaked, and he begins to watch in rapt fascination as the black title screen fades out into a shot of some teen boy about his age, dressed up in what seems to be a homemade, felt costume. His face is covered by a cheap plastic mask, but a few moles speckle the skin that Derek can see. A large, horribly cut navy "M" labels the boy's chest, and Derek notices then that the corner of it isn't glued down enough, and it flaps over awkwardly.
The sight causes Derek to snort, but he continues watching either way.
"My name is Myspace, and I'm here to ruin your life with computer viruses and people you wish you'd never see again!"
The video cuts to another shot - one that's blurry for a split second until it focuses again - and this time, the boy is dressed in a cobalt costume that still comes with a mask. This time, a large "F", along with the letter "U", are plastered where the "M" used to be.
"Your reign is over, Myspace. No one even wants to use you anymore!"
Let's just say that after that, Derek was entranced by the boy - with his flailing limbs and quirky quips. There's a promise of something more about him - of something that could be worthwhile in terms of Derek's need to sate this new obsession of his.
Without thinking, really, Derek scrolls down, and comments.
GREAT VIDEO. LOVED IT. I CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE OF YOUR STUFF.
Derek scrolls up a little to look at the other teen's account. He operates under the username, "TheRedPolanderBear", apparently.
Derek is about to do more - like see if the other boy has uploaded anything else - but Cora and Laura are coming through the front door laughing, and Derek quickly signs out and closes the window before they can catch him in the act and tease him relentlessly.
This is his, and his alone.
No one can know.
-X-
Derek is waiting anxiously.
It's been about two days since he commented on that other teen's video, and since then, he hasn't been able to get onto YouTube at all. Cora and Laura have hogged it with their fake "homework and papers, mom" excuse, and it's leaving Derek pacing the outline of his room to where he thinks he might have worn a trail down into the carpet with his socks.
Still, after Cora and Laura apparently have their fill and have to go to practice again, Derek sneaks in quickly to check on his account.
He's a little frantic as he signs in, but he's absolutely internally panicking when he sees a notification on his account.
"Inbox - 1", it says.
Someone ... someone messaged him?
Derek quickly opens his inbox and gasps.
From: TheRedPolanderBear
Thanks, man! I'm glad you liked it! I was really worried this sucked, but... apparently it didn't?
Oh, and Big Bad, if you didn't know, you can press the CAPS button to make little letters like this. (;
Derek's mouth is hanging open for a few moments, but he quickly gets his brain back online and rushes to reply.
To: TheRedPolanderBear
I KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF THE CAPS BUTTON, I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE PRESSING IT AGAIN. MY SISTERS ALWAYS MAKE FUN OF ME FOR IT BUT I DON'T MIND.
AS FOR YOUR VIDEO IT'S REALLY GOOD. I LAUGHED A WHOLE LOT. I HATE MYSPACE PERSONALLY SO I WAS HAPPY WHEN FACEBOOK WON. YOU SHOULD DO MORE THINGS LIKE THIS IN THE FUTURE. I'D DEFINITELY WATCH IT.
Derek hits send, and hopes for the best.
-X-
Derek's in the middle of some random video when a certain notification pops up again.
He thinks he might get mental whiplash or eyestrain with how quickly the screen flashes over to his inbox, but he could honestly care less when he sees that the message is from TheRedPolanderBear again.
Dude, thanks. I was really nervous about posting this stupid thing, you know? But I mean... if you think that I should do more then... I guess I could.
You have siblings!? Dude, that's awesome! I'm an only child, so I wouldn't know what it's like...
Derek frowns a little as he types: HAVING SIBLINGS ISN'T ALWAYS FUN. THEY USUALLY TRY TO PRANK ME OR DO OTHER THINGS LIKE HIDE ALL MY LEFT SOCKS. THEY'RE LIKE TROLLS HONESTLY.
AND PLEASE DO UPLOAD MORE VIDEOS. I'D LOVE TO SEE ALL OF THEM IF YOU WERE WILLING.
OH AND MY NAME ISN'T DUDE. JUST CALL ME BIG BAD.
Before he can regret it, Derek blushes heavily as he hits send and signs out right as his mom comes in to ask him about supper.
-X-
The reply comes later that night when Derek is staying up browsing while everyone else in the house is asleep. He's sitting at the desk with the screen dimly illuminating things as his hand slips a little about the mouse occasionally. It's only when his eyes are drooping shut with exhaustion when a familiar color of red appears by his username.
As though it was a shot of caffeine and or adrenaline, Derek shoots up from where he had slumped over and quickly opens the new message.
I'm sure that having siblings has its perks and its downfalls, but... trolls? Really? Do you guys live under a bridge or something?
Oh, well... I guess that'd be cool. I could message you whenever something new comes up. I guess you're my first official fan, haha. XD
Hm, okay, Big Bad... I'm not sure what you've called me so far, but... call me Stiles. Say it like "styles", okay?
Stiles.
...
Stiles.
It tastes sweet on Derek's tongue after he tries it out - like someone just took a dab of powdered sugar and sprinkled it into the syllables for someone to taste during its pronunciation.
"Okay..." Derek murmurs giddily, and begins to reply.
-X-
After a week or so of replying whenever he can, Derek realizes something. He and Stiles, they talk a lot. Like, so much so that every single time Derek signs in there's always a reply or two sitting in his inbox. In fact, there's several different threads going on between them, and it's all because Stiles found funny videos or wanted to mention something else and didn't want to change the subject in the other conversations.
It's important, Big Bad. Butterscotch is way better than chocolate and vanilla.
NO IT'S NOT. CHOCOLATE AND VANILLA BALANCE EACH OTHER OUT LIKE NIGHT AND DAY STILES. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE FROM THAT AND JUST PLAIN GROSSNESS.
Derek snorts at Stiles' reply: Grossness? Big Bad, have you EVER eaten butterscotch pudding before? Obviously not, since you're hating on it. Be nicer. And "balance each other out"? Jeez, Big Bad, what are you? "The Shakespeare of Puddings"?
Derek laughs as he types: I ACCEPT THAT TITLE WITH GRACE BUT NO I'M JUST AN AVERAGE JOE THAT LOVES CHOCOLATE AND VANILLA PUDDING. DON'T JUDGE ME WHEN I'M JUST TRYING TO EXPRESS MY LOVE FOR IT.
Stiles takes about a minute to reply.
Well, don't let me stop you then... Speaking of expressing something, I was thinking about making a new video over pudding types. The conversation kind of inspired it - that, and the fact that my dad prefers tapioca. I judge him for his life choices harshly.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT. SEND ME THE LINK WHENEVER YOU FINALLY POST IT. I ALSO WANT TO READ THE COMMENTS AND SEE WHAT THE PEOPLE LIKE BETTER. THAT'LL SETTLE OUR LITTLE FUED.
For some reason, Derek can picture Stiles' face - a vague thing that Derek has learned the shape of from his first video - with a smile over it once he gets the reply from him: Fine. It's settled then. The public shall decide who wins the pudding debate.
Derek smirks, and laughs till his sides ache whenever he finds out that the "public's choice" is neither butterscotch or vanilla and chocolate, but rather tapioca.
-X-
Stiles and Derek have been officially messaging each other now for two months. A lot of threads have been started and kept up with, and Derek feels as though he is drowning in everything that is Stiles.
Which is fine. It's perfectly fine.
It's perfectly fine because the rare times that Derek isn't replying to Stiles' numerous messages, he's watching his videos - completely enraptured with his amber eyes with long lashes. It's either that or his numerous moles and how Derek can see a few through the buzz cut he's got going on as a hairstyle.
Still, Derek sighs and watches as Stiles' third official video loads - one about how ketchup is better than mustard but pickles are somehow the best burger condiment because it can be eaten by itself - when Cora and Laura finally catch Derek and his "homework".
"You liar!" Cora laughs loudly, and proceeds to speak to her older brother in a teasing tone, "You're on YouTube, not BrainPop!"
Derek is still blushing heavily as he pushes away his sisters from the screen, "Just leave me alone!"
Laura scoffs and gasps as she notices that Derek is still signed in, "Derek Hale! You have a YouTube account!?"
"Go away!"
"Oh my gosh, this is amazing," Cora giggles and grabs her flip phone to snap a quick picture of her elder brother, "I'm sending this to everyone in the family so that way we'll have long discussions about this come the next reunion."
Derek groans in frustration, "Guys, just go back to the living room and watch Zoey 101 or something-"
"But this is so much better, Derek!" Laura whines as she manages to get the mouse in her hands, and she laughs something sinister when she sees Derek's notification number, "Oh, you message people with this thing!? Cora, we struck gold!"
Derek begins to panic, "Seriously, just go-"
"Let me see! Let me see!"
Derek tries pushing them away, but to no avail. It's there on the screen for them to see - all of the sixteen personal, oh so personal, threads he has going on with Stiles - and he just curls up into an ashamed ball as they begin to read all of his messages.
"Oh, Big Bad," Cora begins to read aloud in a dramatic, annoying voice, "thou haveth thy heart!"
Derek shudders a little as bile threatens to rise past his throat.
"His name is Stiles?" Laura snorts incredulously as she scrolls along, "That's a stupid name-"
"No it's not," Derek hisses in frustration, and he starts to feel angry tears forming in his eyes as they sting alongside his cheeks, "It's a good name-"
Cora makes a pouty face at Derek as she pivots away from the screen, "Aw, do you like Stiles, Derek? Do you wanna kiss him till he's blue in the face?"
Derek's cheeks burn hotter, "N-No-"
"Oh my gosh, yes you do!" Laura cries happily as she and Cora keep sifting through Derek's personal inbox as they chant, "You want to kiss him till he's blue! You wanna kiss him till he's blue!"
"No I don't!" Derek finally snaps, and after that, it's on.
It's a fierce tumbling of limbs and words as Derek begins to tackle his two younger sisters as they keep making more taunting comments about Stiles.
He gets a knee or two to his face, and he can surely taste on his lip, but he fights back with as much venom as he can muster while he's getting attacked by his two sisters. They keep insulting Stiles or picking fun at Derek, saying that he wants Stiles to be his husband and that Derek still wants to kiss him till he's blue, and he finds himself enraged with the teasing.
That's what his mom walks in on - to her three children hitting and screaming at each other violently. Like the soldier she is, she quickly pulls her children apart, but that doesn't mean that the damage isn't already done.
It's in the form of a black eye and a split lip for Derek, while his other sisters are sporting nasty bruises and a few random nicks themselves. They're still yelling at each other when Talia shouts.
"ENOUGH!"
They all quiet then, and Talia sighs as she brings a hand up to her face as her stress undoubtedly begins to build up in the form of a migraine.
Laura at least has the decency to wait a moment, "Derek started it-"
"I don't want to hear it," his mom hisses out, obviously angry at all of them, "I come home from the store to find you all beating each other to a pulp while your uncle was busy fixing dinner. I taught you three better than that."
Derek sniffles a little, unable to stop the tears as his frustration just crests like a tsunami wave that got too big to handle its own weight.
Talia turns to her only son and her expression softens, that is, until Cora shouts, "You big baby!"
"You're both brats!" Derek hisses through tears, despite the painful split in his lip and the uncomfortable swelling of his eye, "You're both stupid brats and I wish that you weren't my sisters!"
Talia looks like she's about to say something, but Derek runs out of the room before she can get anything else out.
He feels pathetic as he cries, and he wonders what Stiles would think that of him too if he knew about everything that had just happened.
-X-
Talia comes into his room after an hour or so has passed and the tears have left sticky trails down Derek's cheeks. The split in his lip has stopped bleeding, but it doesn't change the feeling of something draining out of him as he hears the door open as his mom steps in.
"Derek," she says softly, "Derek, honey, I know you're still up."
"Leave me alone," Derek sluggishly pulls his comforter over his head - as though it would just swallow him up whole and steal him away from this mess altogether.
Talia sighs, "Derek, I'm not mad at you. With your sisters, it's a different story, but... you don't have to hide from me."
Derek, despite having cried until it felt like his eyes would liquefy in their sockets, begins to tear up, and his voice shakes, "I'm not hiding from anyone..."
"Derek, please come out of there."
After a moment, he peeks from underneath the covers.
Talia is smiling softly when he comes into view, "There you are."
"I probably look horrible," Derek mutters.
"A little beaten up, yes, but not horrible."
"Best two out of three?"
Talia laughs quietly, and begins to run a gentle hand through her son's hair, "They had no right to tease you like that, Derek."
"Mom-"
"I'm serious. You have a friend, and that's normal. What's not normal is for them to give you grief about it."
Derek doesn't look at her when she tilts his face in her direction.
"Derek," she scolds softly, and he finally complies - her eyes are soft while her mouth is set in a scowl, "While I'm not happy about you fighting with your sisters, I understand that you're frustrated. I know that you didn't want them to know about your account or your messages because you knew they'd make fun of you for it. The sad part is that I would've been surprised if they hadn't. I'm aware of how those two heathens cross lines and push buttons, and I'd expect that would be the worst thing for something that looks to be extremely personal for you."
Derek chokes out a sob, and he winces as his swollen eye pulses with the effort to force out a tear, "I- I didn't want them to judge me... I didn't want anyone to judge me."
Talia coos at her boy, "I know, I know, and it's wrong for them to. You and this other boy- Stiles, from what I heard- are friends, and nothing should be wrong about that, now should it?"
"N-No," Derek sniffles out.
"Exactly. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to ground Laura and Cora until I'm content, and you... I'm getting you your own computer."
Derek's good eye goes wide, "R-Really?"
"Yes, so that way you and your friend can keep on talking to one another while Laura and Cora learn a lesson in manners and decency."
Derek smiles as best as he can with his split lip, "Thanks, mom."
"It's what I'm here for kid," she laughs softly and kisses him on the forehead, "Now come eat dinner with us. It's weird to have an open seat and extra mac n' cheese."
Derek doesn't have to be told twice.
-X-
Laura and Cora are mad throughout dinner, and it only worsens a little when Talia makes a family announcement about Derek's upcoming ownership of his own computer.
Derek would smile smugly under different circumstances, but his lip is too sore over his teeth and his mind is too off in space over Stiles to do any of that.
-X-
Until his personal computer comes in, Derek refuses to use the one inside of their family office. It's a struggle, considering that he knows that Stiles is more than likely wondering where he's been, but Derek isn't chancing another surprise attack from Laura and Cora when he finally gets to reply.
The wait is torture, but the reward is amazing once Derek finally gets his computer set up and running. He's fingers are shaking horribly, and he has to enter in his username and password several times before he finally gets it right.
Still, he's freaking out and pretty much hyperventilating once he sees his inbox.
Stiles started a new thread, this time, it being labeled: Dude, where are you?
Derek hurriedly opens it to see what it says.
It's been a few days, Big Bad, and I'm worried. Are you okay?
Derek takes a deep breath.
I'M FINE. JUST HAD SOME COMPUTER TROUBLES. DON'T WORRY.
He hits send and replies to all the other threads of theirs, and once he's finished replying, he sees a new message from where Stiles had asked him about where he went.
Oh, okay. I thought that maybe you were sick or something. I was freaking out, honestly. I hate when you don't reply apparently.
Derek frowns for a second: YOU DO?
Yes. Try and not freak me out like that, please. I have horrible nerves, dude. It nearly drove me crazy.
Derek smiles: I FELT THE SAME WAY. I WANTED TO REPLY SO BAD BUT I COULDN'T.
Derek could imagine Stiles huffing and rolling his eyes: Yes, Big Bad. I was worried about you, okay? Just- I've got to go to bed now. I've been staying up late for the past week to make sure that I was awake when you replied, and I'd be lying if I said I could keep talking. Sorry about cutting it short, but I'm absolutely exhausted and I'm ninety-nine percent positive that my optic nerves are completely and utterly fried. I'll finish replying to everything in the morning after school once I don't feel like I'm dying. Until then, sleep well, Big Bad.
It makes him smile as he types.
THAT'S FINE. I HOPE YOUR EYES FEEL BETTER IN THE MORNING.
Derek pauses for a second, and then adds: YOU TOO.
-X-
A few weeks pass, and the "computer" incident has been moved on from, at least, between Derek and Stiles it is.
But there's another issue becoming apparent between them.
Stiles is growing in popularity now that Derek has coached him into posting more videos and skits. It makes Derek a little jealous, especially so when these other people begin to comment on Stiles' content.
That's for Derek to do.
They tell Stiles that they're his number one fan and that they support him in his YouTube endeavors and they'll always be there for him.
That's Derek's job - he even has the message saved to prove that he's Stiles' first official fan. They can all go fall on a cactus Lego for what Derek cares.
Still, Stiles doesn't make it a big thing between them. He doesn't bring up his expanding group of fans or that his videos are getting more views and comments than ever.
So Derek won't say anything, even if it's killing him a little to just keep his head down and let other people love Stiles like he did first.
-X-
It's not that hard, Big Bad.
YES IT IS STILES.
All you have to do is get a camera and do your thing. That's it.
STILES I KNOW YOU WANT ME TO POST MY OWN STUFF BUT I CAN'T. I CAN'T RISK DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
You're not wanted for murder or anything else, are you?
NO I'M NOT BUT I JUST CAN'T POST ANYTHING STILES. I'M AREADY DOING TOO MUCH AS IT IS. IF I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE PEOPLE MIGHT JUDGE ME. I'M NOT LIKE YOU. I CAN'T BE AN IDIOT IN FRONT OF A CAMERA AND LET THE WHOLE WORLD WATCH ME LIKE THAT.
So you think I'm an idiot for making the videos you ASK for?
GOD I DIDN'T... I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT OK? I JUST CAN'T MAKE VIDEOS LIKE YOU STILES. I JUST CAN'T.
Fine. Just- forget I said anything then...
It's the first and the last time they argue like that, and Stiles never brings up having Derek becoming an official YouTuber again.
-X-
Derek stares longingly at a screenshot of Stiles in his latest videos. He's already told Stiles that he's gotten so much better in the ten months that have passed since his first video, and he means every word. The content has improved, and not only that, there's something that is growing inside of Derek's chest now when he watches Stiles on screen.
There's just something in the way that his arms flail about and his eyes widen when he jokes around - in the curve of his lips when he smiles or in the way that his hair has grown out a little and he hasn't seemed to have gotten it trimmed lately.
He can't figure out what it is - this ... this fluttering against his ribs... It makes him nervous, and for a while, he thinks something might be medically wrong.
"I just don't get it, mom," Derek explains to Talia with a hint of fear in his voice, "My chest it just gets all- all tight when I talk or see him on my screen and I don't know why and I think I might have a serious heart condition that I might need to get hospitalized for."
Talia giggles at her son, "Derek, love isn't a heart condition."
Derek scowls, "L-Love?"
"Yes," Talia sighs and pulls her son over to his bed and makes him sit along the edge of it, "I should've pulled you aside earlier to just talk about this sooner, but you'd never shown any sign of being interested in people before this. Actually, that's a whole other thing we've got to talk about, but that's not important," his mom waves a hand through the air, but continues on, "What is important is that I think you might like your online friend."
"I- How do you know?"
"Because I'm your mother and I've been in love, honey," Talia brushes some of Derek's hair with her fingers, "It's also my job to know you as though you were the back of my hand."
"Oh," he murmurs.
Talia smiles, "Yes, Derek. Now, why did it take so long for you to come to me about this?"
Derek begins to twiddle his fingers over one another, "I thought you'd judge me."
"Derek, I could never judge you," Talia gets down on her knees and cups Derek's face, "You can tell me anything that's bothering you-"
"I think I might like boys, mom..."
Talia takes a moment, and Derek thinks that she's going to say she hates him - that she doesn't want him as a son anymore and that he needed to find another home to live in. After all, that's what happened to Danny once he told his parents that he liked boys just like Derek did, so maybe that's how they're supposed to react when this sort of thing happens.
"Derek, that's-"
That's gross. Despicable. Unnatural.
"-fine."
Derek blinks, "W-What?"
"I said that it's fine," Talia repeats easily, and she smiles at her son, "It's fine for you to like boys, Derek."
Derek gapes for a second, "It is?"
"Yes," Talia laughs softly, "Did you think it wasn't?"
"I've heard that it's wrong for me to, but- I can't help it. I just look at Stiles and I think that I'm falling off of something but I'm not. It's just that the rush in my chest is the exact same, and I don't know why that is."
"That's because- well, son, we need to talk about biology for a moment..."
Derek can't sleep that night, because all the new information that he knows now cant be erased or ignored once Talia explains that it has to do with Stiles.
-X-
It's around Christmas time now, and Derek smiles as he wakes to his living room filled with presents and his inbox filled with replies.
He half smirks whenever he gets the husky Webkinz he'd asked for, but full on smiles - with teeth, even, despite the teasing from Cora and Laura about being a "bunny" - when he reads Stiles' new message.
Merry Christmas, you dork.
A picture is pasted onto the message, and it's Stiles with homemade Harry Potter glasses and a robe on while he holds the newest addition to the series.
Derek replies quickly: MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO YOU IDIOT.
He at least has the guts to send back a picture to Stiles, though it's not of him, but rather, a picture of his Webkinz by his own copy of the book.
A puppy AND Harry Potter? And I thought I had it set in life.
Derek laughs and smiles like an "idiot bunny" for the rest of the day.
-X-
It's Derek's birthday when it happens.
Stiles messages him with a new thread, and at first, he's excited until he reads the message.
Some ddudes at my school recognzed me today. They said my videos sucke d. I'm on the verge of deleting them a nd I'm having a pAnic attack right now and I
DEEP BREATHS. COME ON STILES. YOU CAN DO THIS. IN AND OUT. SIX SECONDS ON EACH EXHALE AND INHALE. AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THIS SITE IS TELLING ME...
Its n ot workiNg
THEY'RE JERKS AND YOU'RE BETTER THAN THEM. YOU'VE GOT HUNDREDS OF FANS NOW AND THEY ALL COMPLETELY LOVE YOU. JUST BECAUSE SOME DOUCHEBAGS SAY OTHERWISE DOESN'T MEAN THOSE OTHER PEOPLE DON'T EXIST.
pPeople lik e you?
YES STILES PEOPLE LIKE ME.
Stiles takes a bit to reply, and Derek panics himself for a moment.
Sorry that I- I'm sorry for being dramatic like this... It's just that my dad is working a late shift tonight so he isn't home. I have to have him coach me through panic attacks and he wasn't here so I just thought- I panicked and could only think of you and I'm sorry.
WHY ARE YOU SORRY?
Because I shouldn't put pressure on you like this. You may be having your own problems, so it must be really shitty of me to just dump all of mine onto you because I'm incapable of dealing with them normally.
Derek is a little taken aback by the curse word, because his mom still gets enraged whenever Cora and Laura try to sneak one or two in, and for the fact that he and Stiles have never used any before in their conversations. It's kind of like a slap of cold water to the face right before you fall asleep, but to his surprise, Derek finds that he likes the newfound clarity between them.
I DON'T MIND STILES. YOU WERE HAVING ISSUES AND IT'S FINE FOR YOU TO OPEN UP TO ME ABOUT THEM. AFTER ALL, WHAT ARE BEST FRIENDS FOR?
Best friends? ...
Derek blushes as he types: I MEAN IF YOU DON'T THINK SO IT'S FINE BUT I JUST THOUGHT THAT... I JUST THOUGHT THAT WE WERE.
That's because we are.
WE ARE?
Yeah, I guess we are... I mean, I did just come to you while having a big panic attack, even though the only form of comfort you can give me is a message or two in my inbox, but... I think we're doing good so far.
Derek's cheeks burn with more blush coupled with a wide smile: YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND, JUST SO YOU KNOW...
You too.
Everything is much better after that.
-X-
Things get much worse after that, or so it seems.
Apparently these boys at Stiles' school are relentless in their jokes and attacks, and more often than not, Stiles messages Derek whenever they chase him into a bathroom stall at school. Derek feels bad about causing Stiles such grief since he convinced him to become more active with his skits, but he feels even worse whenever Stiles makes it apparent to not make it an issue in any of his videos.
Even though these group of other guys are hounding Stiles about "stupid ass videos" and "dumbass ideas", or they tell Stiles that he's all of these horrible things for expressing himself through skits and "gay things" - which Derek doesn't get, because how is this somehow homosexual? - Stiles doesn't dare mutter a word about it.
He puts on a steel face for his fans - the total of which now crests over the three-hundred mark - and he tells them that he's excited about new content and ideas and that he's happier than ever.
And Derek knows it's a lie - knows it because he gets the numerous messages from Stiles about how he sometimes legitimately fears for his safety whenever he's about to go to school and face those guys again - knows it because Stiles sometimes doesn't cover up the bruises all that well in his videos, and there's always that slight wince to his smile for Derek to know that it's a bad one again.
But the worst part about it is that Derek can do nothing.
He's tried - he really has - but he doesn't know Stiles' full name or where he goes to school or what the boys' names are or what they've done to Stiles exactly. He can't just call the police or Stiles' dad - who is a sheriff, apparently - about what's going on.
He's forced to just sit back and read about what's happening to Stiles - to see hints of it lingering on his skin when his lip is split in one video and for a while he has a bit of a limp from where he "twisted his ankle" after trying to run down the stairs one day "in a rush to get to school" - the very one he tells Derek he's terrified of.
Derek knows better than that, and he hates that he does, because there's no one else who's apparently as aware of Stiles as he is, and for that, Stiles gets to suffer that much longer.
-X-
Stiles' dad finally catches on, from what Stiles explains in a string of messages sent late at night that Derek is rushing to read after waking up.
I've got to go to court and tell them everything they did to me... Do you know how embarrassing that's going to be? To tell a courtroom full of people that these four guys were able to beat me to a pulp daily and I never did anything to defend myself? I'll probably look pathetic up on the stand, and if I cry...
YOU'RE NOT PATHETIC. YOU'RE THE STRONGEST MOST AMAZING PERSON I KNOW. DON'T THINK THAT YOU'RE ANY LESS OF WHAT YOU ACTUALLY ARE BECAUSE SOME RANDOM FOUR GUYS THINK THAT THEY CAN JUDGE YOU FOR SOMETHING YOU DO AND THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
I know what you meant by not posting videos... I should've been like you and played it safe. I should've just sat back and watched other people instead of joining them...
DON'T.
Don't what?
DON'T DEGRADE YOURSELF LIKE THAT AND REGRET WHAT YOU'VE DONE. I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS STILES. WHEN I'VE HAD A SHIT DAY AND I FEEL LIKE FALLING APART WHEN I COME HOME I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER AFTER WATCHING YOU. WHEN I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GET THROUGH SOMETHING I FORCE MYSELF TO WATCH YOUR VIDEOS BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THERE'S A GOOD SIDE TO THE BAD THINGS- SOME CHOCOLATE FOR SOME VANILLA. YOU GIVE ME A REASON TO SMILE WHEN I THOUGHT I DIDN'T HAVE ANY ANYMORE. THAT'S WHY STILES. YOU'RE AN INSPIRATION TO ME AND TO EVERYONE WHO WATCHES THE VIDEOS YOU SLAVE OVER MAKING FOR US. IF YOU WANT TO MAKE A VIDEO THEN THAT'S WHAT YOU DO. IF YOU WANT TO WRITE A SKIT OVER A PERSON TRIPPING A BANANA AS COMICAL REVENGE THEN THAT'S WHAT YOU FUCKING DO. DON'T LET THOSE PEOPLE PUT YOU DOWN JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN'T RECOGNIZE TALENT WHEN THEY SEE IT.
Stiles takes a while to reply, but when he does, Derek's heart swells.
Big Bad, you just- you just can't say those kind of things and not expect to bawl my frickin' eyes out...
I MADE YOU CRY?...
Yes, but they were happy tears, you dork. Thank you...
YOU'RE WELCOME IDIOT.
Derek smiles, despite the sinking anxiousness he feels in his chest.
-X-
The court case apparently goes well, and the boys that tortured Stiles for a month straight are officially guilty on the day that Stiles and Derek's friendship turns one.
I can't believe it's been a year...
I KNOW. IT FEELS WEIRD.
And the present for our "frieniverssary" was great. Those assholes have a year or two of juvy to go through before anything else. My dad said that he's going to make sure they've learned their lesson.
HOW IS HE GOING TO DO THAT?
Cop intimidation, probably... Hey, Big Bad, since we're sort of on the topic of "anniversaries", when's your birthday?
Derek pauses for a moment: IN NOVEMBER.
And you never told me!?
Derek rolls his eyes lightly: DIDN'T THINK IT WAS THAT IMPORTANT.
Trust me, it's important, Big Bad.
WHY?
Because we're best friends, remember? Caring about each other's birthdays is what friends do.
That comment makes Derek blush a little as he replies: BUT I'M NOT REALLY WORTH THE EFFORT STILES. BESIDES MY BIRTHDAY HAS ALREADY PASSED. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING FOR IT.
Nope. You have no say. You are getting a present, my friend, because you ARE worth it. Now, just wait a little bit. I've got to work on your gift.
Derek rolls his eyes, but he knows Stiles well enough by now that if he wants to do something, nothing can really stop him.
-X-
The "gift" comes in the form of a new video from Stiles labeled: "Happy Birthday!"
Derek is gaping softly as he clicks on the link and watches Stiles appear on his screen, adorned with a cardboard birthday hat and with a party horn baring between his bowed lips, as balloons and confetti flutter down like leaves during the fall around him.
"Happy birthday, Big Bad! I'm sorry that I'm a few months late, but that's what you get for not telling me anything," Derek laughs at that, "Now, you're probably wondering- what's my gift? Well here it is, you dork. Enjoy."
On the screen, Stiles goes behind this huge box he's got sitting in the middle of the room and opens it to show the camera - to show Derek - the present.
It's what looks like a new video camera, and Stiles smiles warmly.
"I know, you're more than likely trying to figure out how this is your gift exactly, but I'm here to tell you that my gift is myself... technically."
That's fine. That's all Derek ever needs.
"I'm going to be making more videos with better quality from now on, and I know that while that doesn't seem like a really good gift, it's all I can really give to you when you think about it."
Stiles sighs and sits down in his chair then, and he uses the edge of his desk to roll himself into a better position for the camera he's filming with.
"You told me once that my videos gave you a reason. For what exactly, I wasn't sure. You said that it was a reason to smile, but... I feel like that's just cheating the both of us. I know that feelings are complicated and so are words, and that maybe it's hard to express that sensation in your chest or whatever," Stiles runs a nervous hand through his hair, "but I just think that I could give this to you... You know, for giving me a reason when I really didn't have one myself. So thank you, Big Bad, and happy super belated birthday. Sorry if my gift sucked..."
The video feed cuts off, but it doesn't matter. Derek can't see through the tears either way.
-X-
YOUR GIFT WAS GREAT. THANK YOU.
Thanks... I'm glad you liked it... You know, if I actually had your address, I would legit send you something in the mail.
YOU WOULD?
Yes, you dork. I really would. It would be better because then I could actually get something for you that's an actual gift.
YOU'RE AN IDIOT BUT APPARENTLY YOUR MINE SO IT'S OK. AS FOR THE ADDRESS THING THAT'D BE COOL. THEN I COULD SEND YOU SOMETHING FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY TOO.
I'm happy to be your idiot. Like you said once, it's something I accept with grace. And yeah- that'd be great. Let me go talk to me dad about it real quick. He's a little paranoid after the whole "group harassment" thing at school, so he may not be on board. I'd probably still sneak you something in the mail, but it's better than nothing...
A TITLE AMONG MANY OTHERS. AND IF YOU'RE DAD SAYS NO IT'S FINE IF YOU DON'T. I'M SERIOUS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET IN TROUBLE OVER ME. I'LL BE FINE WITHOUT.
Exactly. But seriously, Big Bad, I'll feel terrible if I don't do SOMETHING for you. I feel even worse with what I already gave you...
I TOLD YOU THAT WHAT YOU DID WAS GREAT AND I MEANT IT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ELSE FOR ME. I'M ALREADY HAPPY AS IS.
Well, since you're not budging on the whole "replacement gift" thing, how about a present for our one year anniversary for being friends?
THAT'S COOL. YEAH LET'S DO THAT INSTEAD.
Good, then it's settled. I get a gift, and so do you. Now let me just see if my dad's okay with it real quick...
Derek rushes away from his computer to begin looking around his room for something. He knows that his mom wouldn't care if he wanted to send something to Stiles - in fact, she'd probably be all for it - but Derek feels like it'd be impersonal if his mom went shopping for his gift.
So he ends up scrounging around for anything that looks like it could be something Stiles would like, and it turns out to be a big struggle for Derek. He's gripping onto his hair from frustration when he doesn't really come up with anything.
Stiles is going to be so disappointed in him. He's going to stop talking to Derek and boom - there goes their friendship.
He flops over onto his bed, about to cry from the feeling in his chest at the idea of Stiles hating him, only to notice something as he falls against the mattress.
That ... that could work...
Derek rushes over to his computer with haste, and he nearly falls out of his desk chair as he rushes about: I THINK I KNOW THAT I'M GOING TO SEND YOU. I HOPE YOU DON'T HATE IT OR ME AFTERWARDS...
"Mom!" he shouts, pushing his chair back a little so his voice can carry a bit more throughout the house, "I need a box for something!"
-X-
I talked to my dad. He was okay with the idea. I mean, he was a little confused because I'd never told him about you, so... But either way he's for it. Also, I'm really excited for what you're sending me.
Derek pauses for a moment. Was Stiles ashamed of him? Did he not want anyone to know about their friendship?
Well, Derek would be a hypocrite, considering, but it doesn't mean that it's a little hard to swallow as he replies.
THAT'S GREAT. AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT IN TROUBLE OVER ME. AS FOR YOUR GIFT I THINK I DID WELL. ACTUALLY I'M NOT SURE BUT I TRIED. IT'S WAY HARDER TO PICK OUT A GIFT THAN I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT.
I know right? Usually I'm able to just whip something out of my head and it works out perfectly, but this... I'm struggling with this one.
WHY?
Because I don't want to disappoint you...
Derek runs a hand through his hair before he replies: YOU COULD NEVER DO THAT. I'D LOVE WHATEVER YOU GIVE ME.
But is that because you don't want to hurt my feelings or is it because you'll genuinely like it, that's the question.
AND THE ANSWER IS THAT I WILL LOVE IT AND I MEAN THAT. I'M BEING SERIOUS. THERE'S NO WAY I COULD EVER HATE WHAT YOU WOULD GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO GIVE ME. THEN I'D BE THE IDIOT HERE.
Stiles takes a bit to reply, and Derek begins to wonder if he said something wrong and upset Stiles because of it. He's actually chewing on his nails from his nerves by the time the message reaches his inbox.
No, you could never be the idiot. That's for me to do, you dork... But seriously... Thank you. For everything.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?...
It's just- you must get annoyed with me sometimes... I mean, it must get tiring to keep replying to me so much. You probably just want me to disappear on you and leave you alone, but... I mean I can't. I care too much not to.
Derek doesn't know how to reply for a few moments.
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE ANNOYING. IN FACT I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU EVER GOT THAT IDEA.
It's just how I think and worry, Big Bad. I'm a big ball of anxiety, and I'm sorry for that. I just- I think that you would like to be best friends with someone better than me. You deserve better.
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
What? ...
I COULD NEVER FIND ANYONE BETTER BECAUSE THERE ISN'T ANYONE. I'M FRIENDS WITH YOU BECAUSE I WANT TO BE NOT BECAUSE I FEEL PITY OR BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT I'M FORCING MYSELF TO. YOU'RE AN AMAZING PERSON STILES AND IF ANYONE HERE IS DERSERVING OF SOMETHING BETTER IT'S YOU. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE OR WHAT MY ACTUAL NAME IS. I ANNOY YOU WITH COMMENTS ON EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR VIDEOS AND I ALWAYS BEG YOU FOR MORE WHEN I KNOW I SHOULDN'T REALLY. I TYPE IN ALL CAPS FOR PETE'S SAKE. SURELY YOU MUST WONDER IF I EVEN KNOW WHAT LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE.
Stiles takes a moment, and the nail biting resumes because of it.
I like the whole CAPS thing you've got going. It makes me think you're shouting everything you say, and it's- ... Big Bad, I'm going to be honest here. Even though a lot of people say they like my videos or they want me to do more or whatever, I feel... I feel like all of it's surface level. With you it's so much deeper and I just- you feel fucking real, Big Bad. There's just something about you that seems like it's so much more than twenty-six letters in variations on a screen. I actually feel like you're my friend and not some pen name. Do you know how utterly complicated and terrifying that is? To know that I've got a best friend somewhere in the vast expanse of the universe that tells me I can make him smile out of all things that are possible? I just don't get it... I do all of these annoying things like argue with myself over pudding flavors and social websites, and somehow, through all that, you can still find it within yourself to write to me daily? ... I understand math, and I think I have a good handle on things like verb usage and sentence structure- but how, out of everything that I could possibly ever get stumped by, is it the fact that you want to be friends with me?
Derek stares at his screen for a moment, and his fingers are shaking as he replies.
IT'S BECAUSE I ENJOY KNOWING YOU. YOU AREN'T A BURDEN OR AN ANNOYANCE I PROMISE. YOU MAKE ME LAUGH AND SMILE AND HOW IS THAT A BAD THING EXACTLY? HOW IS HAVING ME ENJOY YOUR VIDEOS AND YOUR CLUMSINESS SOMETHING YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND? IT'S SIMPLE STILES. I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE I... I LIKE YOU.
Oh shit.
You like me?
Derek flounders about. He knows that not every guy is like him or Danny - that it differs from person to person - that some people don't think or feel like he does. So what if Stiles isn't like that? What if Stiles like girls and making videos while Derek likes boys and sitting out on the sidelines to watch instead?
The possibility of scaring Stiles off with that kind of admission has a heavy pang stinging its way through Derek chest and against his ribs, and his breathing feels sharp, as though the air in his lungs was turning into crude glass.
It's complicated, Derek realizes - it's complicated and terrifying just like Stiles has said.
Big Bad?
With the new message's arrival, Derek notices that it's been almost ten minutes since he received Stiles' reply.
Hey, it's okay. I know what you mean. We're friends. Good friends. That's how it's been, right?
YEAH. THAT'S WHAT I MEANT. I JUST HAD TO GO TAKE CARE OF SOMETHING. HOLD ON.
It's alright... I'll wait for you until you get back.
Derek gasps and turns the screen off, and he can't do anything but burrow underneath his covers and wonder why he feels the way he does about Stiles - about how he apparently get the words out right.
Normally, he doesn't try with people. It just - it doesn't happen. He sees the other kids in his school and he just gets flustered and shut in, and he doesn't know why.
Talia used to pull him aside and ask him what the problem was when it came to making friends, and Derek just stared at her wondering what she meant. He hadn't thought there was an issue. He was in school, he made good grades, and his teachers liked him well enough.
What else could she possibly want?
"Derek, honey, I know you're having trouble opening up, but it's important for someone to have a friend. Even if it's just one," he remembers his mother telling him one day after a parent-teacher meeting in primary school, and her voice echoed down the empty hallways, "Promise me, Derek. No matter how hard it may seem, you'll open up to at least one person and let them in."
Derek stares at his ceiling while his feelings churn like undercurrents, and, of course, he thinks about Stiles.
-X-
The summer before ninth grade is when it happens.
Derek is at the doctor's office, and he's sitting on the examination table waiting for his doctor to come back to give him a lollipop and send him on his way. Laura and Cora are already out in the waiting room with Peter, and Talia sits in one of the two chairs opposite of Derek's perch.
"Derek, this... this check-up is going to be a little different..."
Derek tilts his head as he kicks his legs out a little, "How come? They took my blood and checked my weight and height just like they've always done. How is that different?"
"I've been talking to your doctor about this for some time now, Derek, and we both- we both think there might be a reason as to why you're a little quiet and shy..."
"People make me nervous," Derek explains lightly, and he stares at his feet as they swish about casually in the air, "You told me that was alright some time ago... What makes it an issue now?"
It's still not an issue, but honey... I'm worried about you. Your uncle insists that you're just quiet right because you're about to go through puberty, and while that may be true- ... Derek, I think there might be another reason as to why you are having issues, and your doctor agrees with me."
Derek tilts his head, "I'm not sick in the brain, am I?"
Talia frowns, "No, absolutely not, Derek. You just- you have a disadvantage, I think."
"Is that why this appointment is different? They found something wrong with me?"
"No, Derek," Talia stands and comes over to cup her son's face, "Baby, there's a lot that happens to people in this world. I just want you to know that whatever happens here in this room isn't going to change a thing."
Those words set off a chain reaction - as though someone had flipped a switch inside of him - and Derek finds himself panicking.
"M-Mom?" Derek stutters with worry.
The door opens to reveal Derek's doctor, "Hello, Derek, Mrs. Hale."
"Doctor," Talia nods as she takes her seat again.
"I have some news for you..."
Derek grips the edge of the table until his fingers pop, "I'm not- I'm not sick, am I?"
"No, Derek," the doctor smiles softly as he comes a little closer, "Why would you think that?"
"Because I like boys," Derek blurts honestly, "I like boys and another one at my school named Danny does too. He told his parents about it and they said he was sick in the head. Is that why I'm here? Am I 'sick' like Danny-"
"Derek!" Talia scolds.
Derek ducks his head, "I'm sorry, mom... Just all these kids at school tease Danny. You told me that liking boys was okay, but it seems like no one else thinks so. You lied to me. It's not okay."
"Could you excuse us for a moment?" Talia looks at the doctor with some franticness.
He nods, and silently steps out of the room.
"Derek," Talia says softly, "is there something else you need to be telling me?"
"I messed up with Stiles, mom."
Talia coos as Derek begins to tear up, and she cups the side of his face, "Oh, honey... What happened?"
"I said I liked him. He was wondering why I was still friends with him and I just- I said I liked him, mom."
His mother scowls, "How does that mess things up with him?"
"Because I don't know if he likes boys like I do," Derek cries softy, and he wipes at his eyes, "I told him that I liked him and I froze. I froze and he took it another way and now I don't know how to tell him that without driving him off."
"Oh, Derek," his mom softly exhales and pulls her boy close, "It's okay. It's okay."
Derek shakes his head, but he doesn't say anything else throughout the entire appointment, because it's not, really.
-X-
THE DOCTOR SAYS THAT I'VE GOT A MILD CASE OF AUTISM. I'M SORRY.
That's not how I ever thought you'd start off a message, but that's fine. There's no reason for you to be sorry about that.
YOU'RE NOT BOTHERED ARE YOU?
Dude, no. I've got ADHD myself, which is sort of like autism mixed with a hyperactive disorder. It means you and I have kind of the same thing, Big Bad. (:
Derek stares at the screen: IT DOES?
Yeah, it does. Wanna be autistic together, you dork?
For the first time since Derek found out, he smiles.
OF COURSE YOU IDIOT.
-X-
So you live in San Francisco... Truth be told I thought you lived in Antarctica.
YES STILES. I LIVE IN ANTARCTICA. I'M CURRENTLY REPLYING TO YOU WHILE I'M NESTING WITH A PENGUIN.
Whoa, someone's sassy today.
MY SISTERS ARE ANNOYING ME.
Want me to rough them up for you?
Derek snorts: I DON'T THINK THAT'S POSSIBLE SINCE I APPARENTLY LIVE IN ANTARCTICA AND YOU LIVE GOD KNOWS WHERE.
You'd be surprised at how efficient I am either way. Oh, and Beacon Hills is in Cali, Big Bad. It's just a really tiny rural-ish town. It's not big like San Fran or the South Pole.
OBVIOUSLY NOT IF I'VE NEVER HEARD OF IT. ANTARCTICA ASIDE I THINK IT'S WEIRD THAT WE LIVE IN THE SAME STATE AND NEVER EVEN KNEW UNTIL NOW.
Derek can imagine Stiles smirking: Yeah, it's pretty weird, now that I think about it... We could literally come see each other if we wanted.
Something in Derek freezes at that, but apparently Stiles is one step ahead of him.
Of course, there'd be a lot of issues, and I think seeing you in person would be WAY different than sending you a package or whatever... I don't think my dad would fly for that at all.
It's a bullet that was narrowly missed, but what it hits instead, exactly, Derek doesn't know.
IT'S FINE. WE'RE GOOD LIKE THIS. THIS WORKS FOR US.
Stiles doesn't reply until the upcoming morning.
I guess it does...
-X-
Stiles is decently popular now.
Each one of his videos is now grossing around almost a thousand and some odd views within the first day, and over time, it steadily increases. Derek stares at the numbers throughout the summer, and he finds that they confuse him more than words do.
Still, when he talks to Stiles, he doesn't bring up the popularity issues. After all, if Stiles is happy, then Derek can be.
Even if he's not, really.
-X-
Stiles' package to Derek comes before the first week of school.
"Took long enough," Derek mutters once he brings it up to his room, but his bitterness is underlined with excitement.
He rips apart the packaging to find that, carefully wrapped, is a handmade clay version of a howling werewolf. Its face is a little lopsided and its ears are bent from where Derek guesses Stiles struggled to form them - but he loves it immensely either way.
He's grinning from ear to ear when he notices that there's a letter inside the box.
TO BIG BAD
Derek sets his clay figure from Stiles down onto the mattress carefully before he rushes to read the letter that was wrote to him in what seems like a rough, but legible scrawl.
Dear Big Bad,
Look, I made you something that could actually be considered present material! It took about ten dollars worth of clay from the local arts and crafts store and some meticulous handiwork, but I got it done. It took so long to get to you because I kept mulling over it and having to wait for it to dry out since I was an idiot and bought the kid's version that takes FOREVER to get hard enough to ship, apparently. Still, I know I'm not exactly an artist per say, but I felt like, with your username and all, this would be a good gift for you, Big Bad. I just hope you like it.
Oh, and be careful, it can break really easily. If it does, just super glue it back together. It'll be fine. (;
- Stiles
P.S. Why is your username "bigbad618" anyways? I don't think you ever told me...
Derek folds the letter back together gingerly, and he looks back to the tiny sculpture that Stiles had made for him as more feelings bombard him.
And of course, as Laura and Cora bombard his room, as well.
"What did you get, Derek?" Laura comes forward to eye the clay werewolf resting on Derek's sheets, "What is that?"
"I think it's supposed to be a dog," Cora murmurs, and she comes forward to grab at Stiles' gift.
Derek snatches it away quickly, and scowls at his sisters for being the way that they are, "Leave it alone. It's not for you, so don't worry about it."
"Mom! Derek won't let us see what he got in the mail!"
Talia comes into the room right before Derek smacks his sister away, "Mail?"
"Derek got mail and he won't let us see what it is," Laura explains with a pout.
"Derek?"
"It's from Stiles," he blurts.
"Is he your-" Laura and Cora sing-song together then, "boyfriend?"
Derek blushes heavily, "N-No..."
Talia sighs, "Girls, rooms, now."
Cora and Laura sigh and pout, but they still obey Talia.
Talia runs a hand over her face, and she sits down on the edge of Derek's bed, "You know they're too young to understand-"
"People still make fun of Danny. They still isolate him. It doesn't matter what their age is, mom, they still do it. They still make fun of and disrespect people like me."
"They shouldn't. I told you, Derek. There is nothing wrong with you, and I meant it."
Derek wipes absently at his eye, "But will the world mean it too?"
"I- " Talia pauses for a moment, and she scoots closer to her son, "Now that I don't know..."
"That's the point, mom. That's why I can't talk to people or open up to them. All they're going to do is find out who I really am and they won't want to talk to me anymore..."
Talia frowns, "Derek, not everyone is going to hate you."
"And not everyone is going to accept me, either," Derek sighs as he leans onto his mom, his hand still clutching onto the clay figure that Stiles had so carefully molded for him.
"But it seems like you've already found someone that has..." Talia murmurs as she eyes Stiles' gift.
"Have I, considering?"
Talia smiles, "Derek, I'm sure that you'll eventually open up to Stiles and tell him how you feel. You just need time."
Derek pauses for a moment, "Y-You think so?"
"Yes, Derek," his mother vows, "It may take you a while, but I'm certain you'll come around eventually."
"Thanks, mom."
She kisses Derek's forehead and stands, "It's what mothers are for..."
She leaves the room and gently shuts Derek's door, leaving him to stare at the gift from Stiles.
"Time," Derek murmurs as he traces over the furry mane and snout of the figure, "I'll tell him after some time..."
How long that might take, Derek doesn't know.
Still, either way, Derek creeps over to his desk, and he sets down his figurine beside his monitor before he types.
IT'S BIGBAD618 BECAUSE MY SISTERS ALWAYS CALL ME A BUNNY BECAUSE OF HOW I SMILE. I SCOWL A LOT INSTEAD AND THEY SAY IT TURNS ME INTO A GRUMPY WOLF OR SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW. THEY'RE KIND OF STUPID.
Stiles' reply is instant.
I'm guessing you got my gift, then? Well, either way that gives me an idea... You know, I am aware of how "in fashion" Webkinz are right now, and I must say, I really do appreciate this lil' ol' husky you sent my way. I was struggling to give it a name until now.
Derek furrows his brow: SO WHAT DID YOU NAME IT?
The only thing that I could, considering how important its previous owner was. I hope you don't mind, Big Bad, but I took some inspiration from your username and your bitter story. I've named him Sourwolf in tribute to your struggles.
I'M HONORED.
You should be. I spent ten bucks on clay, man. TEN. BUCKS. That's like selling my liver on the black market worthy, dude.
Derek laughs, and for a second, he believes that opening up to someone may not be so foreboding after all.