Chapter Text
Dylan was very high, and very annoyed.
Emma had come over to his dorm late at night, complaining about Jacob yet again, and Dylan had suggested they smoked a little weed to take the edge off.
What he didn’t know was that Emma had already been drinking before this, and cross-faded Emma was extremely chatty.
“I just don’t fucking get it!” she exclaimed, taking another hit of the joint before passing it back to Dylan. “I told him we were just friends with benefits, like I set that boundary forever ago, but he’s mad because I don’t want to be his girlfriend? Like, he can’t be serious with this shit!”
‘Friday the 13th’ was playing quietly on Dylan’s crappy TV, and all he wanted to do was watch his movie in peace. He hated the constant drama Emma and Jacob brought with them. Weren’t they tired of all the fighting too? It must get exhausting.
Dylan didn’t want to be rude though, even if he was just trying to relax and enjoy his high, so he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to make things awkward, anyways.
“Yeah, that’s tough,” Dylan said. “I can roll another joint, if that would help?”
Emma sighed. “No thanks, I don’t think I could get any higher.”
Dylan shrugged and got out more papers to start rolling.
“More for me.”
“God, it’s fucking hot in here. How the hell do you live with no AC?” Emma asked, fanning herself with her hand.
Dylan just shrugged again. His dorm was a piece of shit, no doubt about that. But it was the cheapest place to live on campus, so he made do. It helped that he got along well with his roommate.
The crush he had on his roommate however, that he could really have done without.
“Whatever. Do you care if I take my shirt off so I don’t die from heat stroke?”
Dylan rolled his eyes. “You’re so over-dramatic. But, yeah- go ahead. I don’t think Jacob would like you hangin’ out in another guy’s room topless though.”
“Well Jacob can choke,” Emma said, tossing her shirt on the floor.
“Why are you even fucking around with him still? Aren’t you into that artsy chick now? Ali?”
“It’s Abi. She’s been Mr. H’s class with us all semester, you should really know her name by now,” Emma stated. “And…I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, she’s cute and everything, but she’s totally head over heels for Nick. So I don’t really see anything happening between us.”
Dylan exhaled a big cloud of smoke, feeling the satisfying burn in his lungs. He laid back on his bed, staring at the bottom of the bunk above him.
“You never know unless you try,” he said.
Emma scoffed. “Those are some big words coming from you. When exactly do you plan on telling Ryan you’re in love with him again?”
Dylan took another long drag off the blunt, desperate to distract himself from that particular conversation topic.
“I’m not in love with him. It’s just a dumb crush. It’ll go away.”
Dylan hoped it would go away.
“Keep telling yourself that, bud.”
Speaking of, Dylan hears the clattering of keys from outside the door, and a second later Ryan enters.
“Hey man I- oh shit! My bad!”
Ryan slammed the door closed and was gone as quickly as he appeared without any further explanation.
Dylan sat up on his bed, perplexed. What had freaked Ryan out like that?
“I’m only wearing a bra dipshit,” Emma said.
Oh, had he asked that out loud? Fuck, he was high.
“He thought he was interrupting something,” Dylan realized.
Emma gives him a look like ‘no shit, Sherlock,’ and Dylan pushes himself out of bed to go and set the record straight.
“I’ll be right back,” he says. “Put your shirt back on so he’ll actually come into the room, please.”
Emma huffs, clearly annoyed, but does what he asks.
Dylan steps out to meet Ryan in the hallway, and it’s taking all of his energy to just stand. Everything feels hazy and light, and he misses lying down. What was he doing out here again?
Ryan was here. He was supposed to be talking to Ryan about something. He looked kind of worried, or stressed maybe? Dylan wanted to take all that stress away from him. If only he knew how.
“Sorry man, I didn’t know you were…you should’ve texted me, or something. To tell me not to come back for a while.”
Damn, Ryan looked gorgeous. He always did, but Dylan’s high brain was allowing him to stare for longer than his sober brain ever did. His deep brown eyes drew Dylan in, and then his gaze shifted down to Ryan’s lips.
He wanted to kiss him so fucking badly.
“Uh…Dylan? Hello?” Ryan asked, waving a hand in front of Dylan’s face to get his attention.
And then Dylan finally remembers what he came out here for.
“Dude, you’ve got it all wrong. Emma was just overheating cuz we don’t have air conditioning. And also, like- I don’t know how you aren’t already aware of this- but I’m gay.”
“Oh! I mean, I know you’ve got that pride pin on your bag and everything, but I didn’t wanna assume anything. Like, you could’ve been bi or pan or…whatever. But uh- good to know.”
Dylan laughed at Ryan’s awkwardness. He still kept his normal monotone voice, but Dylan could tell he felt sheepish about the whole thing. He liked to believe he could read Ryan better than most people could.
“Y’know, you could’ve just asked. You were clearly curious about it, probably because you’re super into me,” Dylan teased.
Because that’s all Dylan did. Teased. Made jokes. It was never serious, never real. It’s not like he actually had a chance with fucking Ryan Ezrahler.
Ryan playfully pushed his shoulder. “Whatever, man. How high are you?”
Damn, had it really been that obvious?
“Only a little!” Dylan exclaimed with a giggle. “Ok, a lot. How’d you know?”
“Well, for lots of reasons, really. But mostly because you’re holding a joint.”
Dylan looked down at his hand and- yup! He’d forgotten to set the blunt down before going out to get Ryan. Whoops.
“Well shit, how’d that get there?” Dylan asked, putting the joint up to his lips.
Ryan grabbed his wrist as he did so, pulling his hand away so he couldn’t take a hit.
“Don’t. We wouldn’t want the RA to catch you smoking in the halls again. You’re gonna get expelled,” Ryan said. “Let’s just go inside.”
Dylan grinned. “You’re the boss.”
Ryan mumbled something under his breath, but Dylan couldn't make out what he said.
They walked back into the dorm room together and found Emma smiling up at them.
“Sorry my tits scared you off Ryan,” she mocked.
Ryan flushed. “You’re such an asshole, you know that?”
Emma had that haughty smugness she always had about her, not a care in the world and too confident for her own good.
“I know,” she replied. “We gonna watch this movie or what?”
They all crowded on Dylan’s bed, Ryan finishing off what was left of the blunt and all of them snacking on some expired gummy bears as they watched the rest of the film.
The high had taken over all of Dylan’s senses at this point, and he knew moving was no longer going to be an option for him.
Time was moving weirdly around him as well. At one moment, it’s him, Emma and Ryan, and by the next, Emma’s gone. Dylan swears she just vanished into thin air.
The movie was over too, all that was left was the rolling credits. And when that was finished, it was just Dylan and Ryan.
Alone. On Dylan’s bed. High outta their minds.
Ryan turned to face him. “Did you wanna watch anything else?” he asks, voice soft and quiet.
Dylan doesn’t think. He can’t, not right now.
“I just wanna keep watching you.”
Ryan’s eyes go wide. “Um…sorry- what?”
He begs himself to shut up. “You heard me.”
For fucks sake.
His only hope is that Ryan thinks he’s kidding, that he doesn’t mean it. But he hears how he sounds, and he worries it’s too late to take it all back, to play it for laughs.
He braces himself for the rejection he’s sure will follow. It never does. Not really, anyways.
Ryan’s eyes darted back and forth, searching for something on Dylan’s face. Dylan wonders if he finds what he’s looking for.
“Yeah- uh, I’m pretty high, I think. You are too. And we both have class tomorrow so…maybe we should call it a night.”
Dylan’s heart sinks. “Sure man, if you want.”
Ryan pauses momentarily, opening his mouth before closing it and nodding resolutely.
“Ok. Cool.”
“…Cool.”
Dylan wasn’t sure what was happening. Ryan wasn’t moving, and they were both just staring at each other. Not that Dylan minded, but it was certainly…strange. Or- not strange, not at all. Just confusing.
Did Ryan want to tell him something? Did he want to do something?
Dylan’s head was too far in the clouds for him to come back down to earth and actually get to the bottom of whatever was happening here, so he said ‘fuck it’ and threw his inhibitions out the window.
“You can sleep here if you want. In my bed, I mean,” Dylan offered. “I’m kinda too high to really wanna get up, so I get it if you’re the same.”
“Like…we’d share?” Ryan asked, suddenly fidgety. “I dunno dude, the bed is pretty small, and it’s really hot in here-“
“Look- do whatever you want. But you were just sitting there staring at me, so I figured you were having trouble moving. I was only tryna help.”
“I wasn’t staring! You were staring!” Ryan accused.
“Maybe we were both staring! Whatever! Who cares?” Dylan threw his hands up in frustration and picked his vape up off the floor, hoping the nicotine would mellow him out. “Sleep here or don’t, it doesn’t matter. Unless you’re worried about catching my cooties.”
And now he was back to making jokes. It was an easy fall back, to act like nothing phased him, like everything was just something to find humor in. Hadn’t failed him so far.
Dylan briefly wondered if Ryan was able to see through his facade. He shook the thought away.
Dylan laid down on his bed, leaving plenty of space for Ryan if he chose to take it. He let the raspberry flavored vapor enter his lungs before pushing it out with a sigh.
He looked at Ryan’s back and wished he could know what he was thinking. Ryan still hadn’t moved a muscle. He just sat on the edge of the bed, his gaze straight ahead. He probably smoked way too much, Dylan rationalized.
“Yeah…alright. Why not?” Ryan asked, mostly to himself.
He laid next to Dylan, their bodies squished together on the small mattress.
Suddenly, Dylan realized that this was a terrible idea.
Sure, he kind of knew that when he’d first suggested it, but he never thought Ryan would actually take him up on it.
But he did. So here they were.
It was already too damn hot in the room, but being this close to Ryan was driving Dylan crazy, and he felt his whole body heat up. He thanked god that the lights were off so Ryan couldn’t see how bright red his face had turned, but that was the only saving grace he’d been allowed.
Dylan was sweating bullets, and he kept shifting to try and put some distance between them, but every movement just pushed them closer together into the divot in the middle of the mattress.
“Dude. Stop fucking moving around,” Ryan said.
Dylan huffed. “Sorry for trying to get comfortable.”
Despite his sarcastic remark, Dylan stopped shifting. No need to make things worse.
Ryan had stayed still, so he was in the same position he’d always been in, laying on his back. Dylan, however- he ended up on his side facing towards Ryan, their faces mere inches apart and their bodies all but intertwined.
Dylan was practically on top of him, and it was taking all of his effort to not wrap his arm around Ryan and snuggle into him further. He played with the hem of his shirt instead to avoid doing anything stupid.
He doesn’t know how he’s going to be able to sleep like this. Maybe he just won’t.
And then his high ass decides to keep talking, apparently. “Do you believe in alternate dimensions?” he asked, like an idiot.
He couldn’t see Ryan’s expression in the dark, but he assumes it’s an incredulous one. The one where his eyebrows crease cutely and he wears the smallest frown, imperceptible to anyone who wasn’t paying enough attention.
Dylan paid attention. He always did, when it came to Ryan.
“Dude, what? Go to sleep,” Ryan said.
“I will! Just answer the question first.”
He hears Ryan sigh from beside him. “I dunno. I believe in ghosts and the supernatural, but alternate realities? Probably not.”
“Yeah, maybe not. But…what if they were real? Think about it. The movie we watched today, what if there was a version of ourselves that went through something like that?” Dylan asked. “Like- if we were at a summer camp in the woods with all our friends and some real scary shit went down. Do you think we would all survive it?”
“What the fuck are you even talking about?”
Dylan laughed. “I’m serious! That universe could exist! Any universe could!”
“God damn you are high.”
“So? You’re telling me you’ve never thought about it? How cool would it be to go to other universes or timelines? To see what other versions of yourself are up to?”
Ryan is quiet for a while. He’s silent for long enough that Dylan starts to think he’s gotten fed up with his idiocracy and has taken to just ignoring him.
Which would be fair, in all honesty.
“I don’t need to know what other versions of myself are doing. I like where I am now,” Ryan finally says.
Dylan smiles. “You mean here, with me?” he asked, joking around.
“…Yeah. I like being here, with you.”
There’s no hint of sarcasm in his tone, not even a little bit. It’s so honest that it completely catches Dylan off guard.
He isn’t sure how to respond to that, so he never does.
The room was already spinning from the weed, but now it was getting worse. Dylan was so dizzy it was almost nauseating, and butterflies were fluttering frantically in his chest.
He somehow felt both extremely panicked and calm at the same time, and he squeezed his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to force himself to sleep. Then he could wake up the next day and forget this whole thing.
Dylan knew he wouldn’t forget. It just couldn’t be that simple, it never was.
Eventually he does successfully will himself to sleep, listening to Ryan’s steady breathing as a sort of lullaby. As he dozed off, one final thought crossed his mind.
Dylan’s ‘little crush’ on Ryan was only getting worse, and he knew it wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
Fuck. He was so fucked.