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Sonder

Summary:

Sonder — noun. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.

You shone like the sun, your light illuminated him and made him feel bare. Every secret exposed to your watchful eye, you gazed into the absence of his soul and yet you continued to shine upon him. You were infuriating.

Notes:

L’appel du vide "the call of the void" - The feeling of walking along a high edge and having the urge to jump. The itch to swerve into oncoming traffic. The feeling that our own instincts are not always to be trusted.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: [1] L’appel du vide

Chapter Text

You were no stranger to Dragonspine, as a senior member of the Adventurers Guild, you’d become (not entirely willingly) well acquainted with the frigid temperatures and unpredictable slopes. Your current motivation for braving the freezing temperatures was a commission giving you two goals; placing beacons and supplies, to hopefully make treks into Dragonspine easy for future visitors; and reaching the summit. Said goals went hand in hand as you would place the beacons along your way to mark out the path.

It was hard not to zone out, tune out your surroundings and the pain in your sore legs till you made it to your next destination, but you knew better and tried your best to stay alert. The wind was sharp against your face, your breath coming out in huffs muffled by the fabric of the mask currently keeping your nose from freezing off.

You squinted ahead of you, the snow was coming down in heavy clumps, the mess of falling particles leaving static in your vision as you tried to make out any shapes in the white mist. Letting out a huff you placed your hand on the rock beside you, grounding yourself.

‘A white out.’ You noted to yourself, you’d do nothing but get yourself lost in these conditions. Luckily, Dragonspine was home to countless abandoned camps and caves you could take shelter in, the problem was you couldn’t see two feet in front of your face-- though your pondering over your predicament was interrupted as sudden movement caught your eye, something vaguely person shaped in front of you.

“Hey!”

Your voice echoes through the canyon, trying to get their attention. You quickly lost sight of them in the curtains of snow, the wind howled as you clenched your jaw. Kicking the side of your boot into the wall of rock next to you, you flipped out the spikes embedded in the soles and picked up your pace, the metal spikes digging into the ice and keeping you grounded. You were an adventurer, not a hero, but you know you’d be scared alone up on this mountain during a storm like this if you weren’t as familiar with the mountain as you are. Some company would also be welcome, after listening to nothing but your thoughts and the howls of wind for the past 4 days-- some friendly conversation would be nice.

The path widened into a small clearing, a lone tree jostled with the wind; its craggled roots clung to the cliff face, making you wonder if this may be its last storm before it fell to the perils of Dragonspine. You stilled and sucked in big breaths as the icy air stung your lungs, the high elevation making your breaths less efficient. You squinted, eyeing a crack in the dark rock, it would have to do as shelter for now- but where’d that person (?) go? This wide spot on the cliffside was a dead end, for anyone unprepared anyways. The only way to continue further on was to repel up or down the rock face, and so you walked further along, spotting fresh footprints being rapidly covered by the current downpour.

“Hello?!”

You tried, reasoning that if you didn’t see them you could just go back to the cozy little cave and mind your own business. Just barely, as you strained your vision and tuned out the sounds around you, your eyes landed on their back once again, they perched on the cliffside without a care in the world, anxiety swirled in your stomach, something was seriously off here. One strong gust and they’d be sent tumbling.

“Hey! There’s a cave a bit back, we can take shelter there and wait for this blizzard to clear up!” You shouted the best you could over the wind.

Your voice didn’t seem to reach them as they made no sound, nor any effort to look back at you. You continued your approach, ready to shout at them again when they moved, taking a step forward-- were they about to walk off the damn cliff?

Your body acted before you could even think, leaping towards them and wrapping your arms around their middle, swiftly pulling them back against you, momentum carrying both of you to impact with the covered ground.

“Fucking hell are you crazy?!”

Your heart was beating out of your chest, but you had no moment to recuperate as they were quickly wriggling out of your grasp, so you stood with them, keeping your hand tightly gripped on their arm.

“This snow is only gonna get deeper, we need to get to shelter before we freeze out here!”

 

You pleaded with the stranger, noting he wasn’t even wearing long sleeves; your heart beat faster. What was up with this guy? Did he get robbed? Was he okay? Why hadn’t he said anything yet? Not about to let this weirdo freeze in your arms you started tugging him back to the cave you had spotted earlier. He wasn’t putting up much of a fight, which you were grateful for, you could interrogate him later-- when you could feel your fingers again.

“Alright, almost there!” You shout, angling your voice over your shoulder to hopefully have a better chance of him hearing you over the storm.

He suddenly came to a stop right outside the entrance, yanking you to a stop as well. You spun around, locking eyes with him, your hand still gripped onto his. You just stare, something in his eyes making you unable to form a coherent thought, they were a beautiful blue color, standing out on his pale face. Maybe if you stare long enough, you could figure out what was going on behind those dull eyes. The sudden movement of his free hand had your eyes darting to the limb, the glow of a weapon being summoned bounced off his gloved hands-

Apparently unable to have a simple moment of peace to react to a single thing around you, a sharp crack echoed through the air, instantly followed by a skull-shaking rumble all around you. An avalanche? A rockslide? Both? Any of those options would leave you dead. You can never catch a break on Dragonspine it seems. You yank the man towards you by your conjoined hands just before the wall of ice and snow obscures the entrance. The howling of the wind suddenly unable to reach you left your ears ringing. The huffing of your breath bounced off the rock walls as you held the stranger to your chest, the rumbling of the mountain continued to shake your bodies. You’re unsure of how long you remained in each other's embrace; slowly, your mind caught up to your current situation, your shoulders started to shake with laughter. Fatigue seeped into your amusement as well as your body, the temptation to slump against the stiff figure in your arms was a challenge to resist. Pushing him away by the shoulders before you give in, your eyes trail him from head to toe, searching for any sign of injury, frostbite, discomfort-- or danger, you weren’t naive enough to trust this man, but your trust in your abilities kept you confident enough to worry for him as well.

“Are you okay?” You breathe out.

A gaze filled with such a profound nothing that it stole the air from your heaving lungs was the only thing that answered you for a small moment of eternity.

“Yes.”

You blinked, to be honest- you hadn’t really expected an answer. Used to the silence the man had provided in past attempts at conversation. Regardless, a breath of relief left you, at least he wasn’t so frozen he couldn’t speak.

“Good, good. That's…good”

Your eyes found their way back to his bare arms.

“Oh- You’re probably freezing, I don’t know how you're not shivering right now-”

You continued to ramble on about the cold, but he wasn’t really paying attention. This was Subject 1’s first encounter with a human-- That is, since his reawakening. Sure he's watched plenty of wanderers, scientists, and adventurers toddle up the slopes of Dragonspine, but having only come crawling out of the primordial rage soup of Durin’s remains around a month ago, he had yet to mingle. Though his initial thought was to kill you, this may be a perfect opportunity to see how well a human would take to his imitation of Mondstat’s chief alchemist.

He was taken out of his thoughts as you draped your coat over his shoulders, the ghost of your warmth embedded into the fibers. As you pulled your warm hands away, the article began to slip and you quickly caught it, buttoning the first button up by his chin to keep it secured. You smiled as your hands pulled away, for good this time.

“That’ll have to do for now…uh- how about you tell me a bit about yourself while I try and figure out how to start a fire in here?”

When you were met with silence once again, you felt yourself deflate.

“Uh- that is- I’ll tell you about myself too! I won’t just be interrogating you!”

Hoping your words came out reassuring to him, and not just desperate. Archons- had this mountain made you so lonely already? You dug through your bag as a distraction. You had plenty of fire starting material, the problem would be fuel to keep it burning.

“An exchange of names or titles is typical for a first meeting, yes?”
Your gaze shot up to meet his.

“Oh, Yes! Ah- sorry. My name's y/n, I'm an adventurer.”

You felt your cheeks warm, you can’t believe you were so frazzled you forgot to give this guy your name.

“I will remember it. I’m Albedo, chief alchemist of the Knights of Favonius.”

You perked up, looking over at him. He was still standing right where you left him.

“You’re the chief alchemist? What are you doing up on Dragonspine?”

A typical beat of silence passed.

“Research.”

Came his simple reply. You nodded, that made sense but- Your eyes roamed over his attire.

“What happened? To your clothes I mean- Did you get robbed? Or were you researching how to get hypothermia?”

Humor seeped into your voice as you laid out your supplies, taking stock of the contents of your bag.
Right, his state of dress wasn’t typical of a human with warm blood. He chastised himself, it would be easy to just use your pre-suggested reasoning, but something about your gaze on him made it hard to think.

“Ah…Yes.”


You smile at him, accompanied by an unconscious tilt of your head, encouraging him to continue.

But he just stood there, as usual. You had unknowingly entered a staring contest, just gazing into his dull eyes hoping he’d pipe up eventually. In terms of the contest-- you lost. Averting your eyes back down to the items laid out in front of you. Archons, how could he answer your question in such a way, and somehow make you the one to feel embarrassed.

You distracted yourself with your previous task, the extra food rations you brought along for the commission would probably end up saving your ass. You had your rock climbing gear which may come in handy in this cave. Like you thought, fire and staying warm will probably be your main issue.

“Ok… We should have enough food for us to last the next few days. My main concern is staying warm, especially you- wait.”

You cut yourself off, looking at Albedo with hope welling in your chest. Getting out of this may be easier with him than it would be on your own.

“You’re the chief alchemist, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’re pretty important, how long do you think it’d be before people start looking for you?”

…oh. Something unpleasant made itself at home in his chest. No one would come looking for him, for the chief alchemist wasn’t missing, he was in his makeshift lab on this very mountain, safe and sound. His arms crossed over his chest, this time the lie came easily.

“I spend much of my time here on Dragonspine, a long duration without my return to Mondstat would have to pass before it became unusual.”

You visibly deflated at the news, cursing as your brow furrowed.

“I see… Well looks like we won’t be able to count on rescue. For the foreseeable future- it’s just the two of us, mister chief alchemist.”

A cheeky smile spreads across your face. He feels his lips twitch downwards.