Chapter Text
MORNING OF THURSDAY, JUNE 2, 1814
Kate woke first.
Anthony was wrapped around her like ivy—head on her chest, arm at her waist, leg between hers. He always started the night on his side, leaving that dignified sliver of distance between them. But come morning, he was coiled around her as though she were his own personal pillow.
She lay there, unmoving, loving how peaceful he looked, the heat of his body pressed into hers, the steady weight of his breath against her.
And him.
That now-familiar wrench tugged at her chest. How had this happened? After only a few weeks of marriage? Was she truly so weak to fall in love with a man who would never love her back? A man who’d told her, in absolute terms, he had no love to give. She was his first wife, yes, but one of many women to have shared his bed. Many women, she reminded herself, he’s slept on like this. Surely she wasn’t special.
Right?
As though he could hear her thoughts, Anthony stirred with a deep sigh. His sleepy eyes met hers and blinked a couple of times, not at all surprised to find himself in his current position.
He had tried—tried not to hold her like this when they fell asleep, and failed. The distance was supposed to help, supposed to keep the lines from blurring further than they already had during their honeymoon. But somehow, by the time dawn broke, he always found his way to her side of the bed, nestled against her. After all those mornings of waking tangled together, Anthony had given up. It wasn’t, he told himself, any more intimate to sleep with his wife in his arms than it was to merely share a bed with her.
“Good morning, wife.” His voice was gravelly with sleep, his boyish smile unguarded.
“Good morning,” she whispered, keeping her tone light despite that ache in her sternum.
Add to the list: loving his first smile of the day. The one before life and duty crept back into his thoughts.
Anthony nuzzled against her chest, letting out a contented hum, his hand skimming lower to trace the curve of her waist over the cool satin of her nightgown. “How tempting you are,” he murmured, placing feather-light kisses on her breasts. “If I’d known these nightgowns were waiting here, I’d have had us return to London days ago.”
“Anthony,” Kate chided, but made no attempts to move. She sucked in a breath as his teeth tugged playfully at the edge of her bodice. “What’s the time?”
Anthony’s mouth skimmed her jaw, his grin evident against her skin. “Now you’ve ruined it.”
“When are you not thinking of the time?” Kate shot back, letting out a little squeal as his tongue dipped below the silk and traced erotic line on her collarbone. “You’re more married to that watch of yours than you are to me.”
“You,” Anthony murmured, ignoring her quip, his lips hot and moist against her skin, “taste infinitely better. So good.”
“Ah,” Kate squirmed. “You’ll be late for your ride with the Duke of Hast—”
“Simon can go to hell.”
“You invited him!”
“And I regret it entirely.”
“I'm to promenade with the Duchess on Saturday morning.”
He snorted. “Call her Daphne, please.”
“She'll know if you don't show up. She'll know why.”
He lifted his head, his lips quirking when he saw the flush on her cheeks. With an exaggerated, petulant groan, he reached for the watch on his nightstand. And after a second of studying it, he gave her a disgruntled look. “You should’ve woken me earlier.”
Kate arched a brow. “So this is my fault, is it?”
“Quite.” He kissed her softly before extricating himself from the bed. Rising, he slipped into his dark blue dressing robe, then moved to the window, eyes wandering over the early morning scene of Grosvenor Square. Then tugged the bell pull. “How will the Viscountess Bridgerton occupy herself today?”
“I’m not sure what your mother is doing—”
“Kate.”
She smirked, pulling the sheets up over her chest as she propped herself up against the headboard. “I’m calling on Danbury House to see Edwina and Mary. And, of course, to collect Newton.”
“Of course.”
Newton.
Lady Mary had offered to care for the creature while they were away on their honeymoon, but now…
“He’s your dog now, too,” Kate announced. “Through marriage.”
“I do not recall ever making such an agreement.”
“Ah, well, that is between you and him.”
He pinned her with a smoldering look. Came around to her side of the bed and leant over her. “He does not listen to me.”
“You believe I do?” Kate brushed her lips against his.
With a reluctant smile, Anthony cupped her chin and pulled her in for a kiss. His lips were soft but demanding, exploring her mouth with a thoroughness that left her breathless.
“I’m meeting with the solicitor today,” he murmured between kisses.
“Requiring a divorce so soon?” she teased.
He pulled back, very serious all at once. How did he do that? “A dowry for Edwina will be finalized by the middle of next week.”
“Oh.” Kate nodded. Reality settled on her fast. “Suppose I’ll… tell Edwina and Mary about my contact with the Sheffields, then.”
“Tell them whatever you want,” Anthony said, brushing a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. “I’ll write to Lord Sheffield tonight and let him know the arrangement is canceled.”
Kate sat up straighter. “No, I will.”
“Kate—”
“I will,” she said obstinately, more confident than she felt. “I want to.”
Anthony let out a long breath. Disapproval was evident on his face. He opened his mouth to argue, but before he could speak, a knock sounded at the door. “Come, Nelson.” Turning back to Kate, his jaw flexed. “Very well. We’ll discuss this later.”
Some time later, Anthony was freshly washed, clean-shaven, hair perfectly combed, and dressed for the day. He placed his top hat on with a practiced hand. “I’ll collect you here before dinner at Bridgerton House.”
Kate slipped out of bed, pulling on her dressing gown. “Of course.”
Here it was.
The inevitable moment.
After weeks on honeymoon, during which their relationship had sprouted and blossomed, this was where they would part ways. She to her life, and he to his. Their days would take on a new rhythm here in London. Most wives rarely saw their husbands, and Anthony was perfectly content with the distance. She would adjust. She would have to.
But as she watched him prepare to leave, she remembered his promise to her, back on their honeymoon…
I promise. I won’t disappear.
Anthony tipped his hat to her. “Until this evening.” Then, he headed towards the door.
“Wait,” Kate called before she could stop herself.
Her feet moved without thinking, closing the distance between them in an instant.
She stood before him. Breathing deeply. And then pulled at the back of his neck, dragging his mouth to hers.
For a second, Anthony was still. But then he melted into her with ease. His arms embraced her, pulling her secure against him, and she could feel his body responding—strong, heated. His hands found their way into her hair, gripping it, before roaming down her backside to hold her even closer.
Kate let herself drift. She allowed herself to fantasize that in this moment, he loved her. That he, too, was desperate to prolong this… this closeness, this feeling. It was so real, tangible almost, and a small part of her self-conscious acted completely out of character, daring to hope…
But she couldn’t permit it to go on.
She forced herself to pull back before she could do something foolish. Like locking the door behind him so he’d never leave.
“Oh, God.” Chuckling, she fixed the now crooked position of his top hat. Smoothed his jacket. “I've made you untidy.”
Anthony was heaving. “You could say that.”
Kate grinned. Tipped her imaginary top hat to him. “I'll see you tonight.”
“Yes, you will.” He kissed her forehead. “Wake me earlier tomorrow.”
And with that, he walked out.
The sound of the door closing behind him filled the room with a quiet finality.
Lady Bridgerton was left alone.
Over tea at Lady Danbury’s, Kate was showered with compliments.
“My goodness, marriage agrees with you!” “You look positively radiant!” “You're glowing!”
She couldn’t help but wonder how she had appeared to them before, and it was a little startling that whatever Anthony had awakened in her was so plainly reflected in her features now. Mary, in particular, had been deeply moved upon Kate’s arrival. Her eyes misted when she learned that Kate actually enjoyed her new husband’s company, considering how apprehensive she had been about their relationship before the wedding.
And then, of course, there was Lady Danbury, who detected with ease Kate’s furious blush when Edwina innocently asked about their favorite honeymoon activities.
Kate had answered a bit too fast. “Hiking. Certainly.”
After tea, Kate and Edwina slipped outside into Lady Danbury’s expansive, manicured garden, Newton on leash beside them. They seated themselves on a stone bench, arm in arm, and hugged once more.
“I'm so glad you're back!” Edwina sniffed, squeezing Kate tightly. “My beautiful, married sister! How dare you make me miss you this much?”
“I could say the same to you,” Kate said, voice muffled by Edwina’s shoulder.
The sisters pulled apart, both wiping their faces in very different manners. Kate swiped her nose for efficiency, while Edwina tapped her fingertips delicately, mindful not to smudge the shadow on her eyes.
“I want to know everything about the honeymoon,” Edwina said, her voice still watery as she patted Kate vigorously on the hand.
“Let us discuss more pressing matters first.” Kate stroked her sister's hair, slipping back into her role of guardian as easily as a second skin. “I’ll arrive here early tomorrow morning to help you prepare, and the three of us will go to court together in Lady Danbury's carriage.”
Edwina nodded eagerly. “Lilac or pink?”
“Whatever you wear, you’ll look lovely, Bon.” But, then, after a beat, “The pink, though.”
“Just what I thought. I must look perfect. They will all be assessing me. Considering how I might perform as Princess.”
“Ignore them. You must consider if Prince Friedrich is everything you desire in a match as well. Forget his title. Be true to yourself, and see if his mind and spirit will match yours.”
“I will.” A deep sigh. “Do you know anything of him?”
“I’ve heard he’s kind and gentle. Handsome. Anthony asked me to convey he has no objections.”
Edwina’s lips parted with surprise. “I-I hadn’t realized he felt any responsibility toward me.”
“He does.” Kate began speaking carefully. “In fact, he plans to provide you with a dowry.”
“Are you quite serious?”
“He’s meeting with the solicitor today.”
“How generous of him!” Edwina laughed with delight, eyes wide. “My goodness, he adores you!”
Wait. “What can you mean?”
“Well, surely, he’s doing this for you, Didi. To win your favor. It is so romantic!”
Oh, Edwina.
Her eyes always saw the world in such bright colors.
Too bright, sometimes.
“You misunderstand, Bon.” Kate’s smile tightened. “As head of the family now, he feels it’s his duty.”
Perceptive as ever, Edwina registered the change in Kate’s expression instantly. The idealism on her face dropped like a veil. Concern remained. “What ails you?”
“Edwina,” Kate said in a quiet warning. “It's nothing.”
“You said the honeymoon was lovely,” Edwina pressed in a way that reminded Kate of herself. “You told us he was treating you well.”
“He is treating me well. Too well. He would treat any woman well.”
“Any woman?” Edwina traded a confused look with Newton, who had stopped preening to observe the shift in the conversation. “You’re clearly special to him.”
Kate let out an impatient huff. “You’re a romantic. You see what you wish to see.”
That made her sister frown. “I’m no fool, Kate.”
“Edwina—”
“Anyone with eyes can see the Viscount’s affections for you are real.”
Kate shook her head with absolute certainty. “They’re not real.”
“But—”
“They’re not real!” Kate snapped too harshly. “The proposal was not out of love!”
The words reverberated in the air like a crack of thunder.
Baap re. How did that happen?
Immediately, Kate regretted her outburst. In the past, she would have kept such burdens to herself. Always the one to protect her sister from the darker shadows of life. But clearly, something had changed. Perhaps it was the way Edwina had been looking at her, wise and concerned. But more likely, it was the fact that this weight—this marriage—had grown so very great, it could not be contained within one soul.
Edwina’s expression remained carefully neutral. “What can you mean?”
Kate shuttered her eyes. This would mark the first time she’d recant the tale out loud.
“At the country party, I was injured—well, not injured. But Anthony was trying to aid me, and we were caught in a compromising position. The proposal was nothing more than a consequence of circumstance. If he hadn’t married me, I would've been ruined.”
After a beat, Edwina shrugged nonchalantly. “I do not care how it came about.”
“Edwina, he…" Kate gaped at her. Say it. Say it! “He told me, before we wed… he would never love me.”
“Then he’s an even bigger fool than you thought he was before you were married!”
“He’s still a fool,” Kate assured dryly. “But in this matter, he has been quite clear. Love is not to be expected between us.”
“No man would offer marriage to a woman without tenderness for her,” Edwina implored.
Kate shook her head again. “It was obligation, not affection. We were fully visible to the house, to say nothing of the fact that Lady Featherington caught us!”
“A man does not offer a dowry to a woman’s sister if there is no tenderness involved!” Edwina tried again.
“He offered only because he knew…” Kate pressed her fingers to her temples. Here we go. “That is, it came up… when he learned I was in the final stages of securing a financial arrangement with Lord and Lady Sheffield.”
Several seconds passed.
“What?!” Edwina shrieked. Newton sat up urgently at the sound of her raised voice. “What can you mean?!”
Kate shot a glance toward the house. “Edwina, hush, please!”
But Edwina was already on her feet. “How long have you been corresponding with them?”
“Since before we left.”
“Why on earth would you do such a thing?!”
“We were to use the last of our funds to reach London. The Sheffields offered a considerable trust for you, and promised to look after Mary—”
“And you were planning to, what? Live destitute?” Edwina spat the word like an epithet. Kate had never heard her sound so angry. “I’d marry an old boot before letting you do that.”
“Precisely why I didn’t tell you!”
“That is no excuse! How could you? After what they did?” Her eyes filled with tears. “After what she did in Bombay? Did you think I was too young to remember what happened that night?”
The memory hit Kate sharply.
The sickening crunch of her nose against the door, the blood dribbling down her face—
Kate stood too, squaring her shoulders. “I was looking out for this family. I promised Appa I would not consider myself until you and Mama were taken care of. I gave what I have without regret to protect you both, and I would do it again, Bon. I still do it. Just like he taught me to!”
With that, the girls stilled.
Edwina just stared at her, stunned.
After a long moment, she lowered herself back onto the bench. “Does Lord Bridgerton know?”
“You should really call him Anthony.”
“Be serious. What does he know?”
With a sigh, Kate sat next to her. Her knee began bobbing. “Nearly everything.”
“Nearly?”
Another memory pierced Kate’s mind, uninvited.
Phantom pain around her wrist throbbed as the venomous words of Lady Sheffield resurfaced.
A wicked little stray.
Nothing but a savage in a dress.
Borrowed blood and a false claim to family and favor.
A pet project, tamed for show.
A curse.
If there were such a thing as justice, you’d have gone into the ground with your father and spared my daughter, your sister, and poor Lord Bridgerton from the decay of everything you touch.
Kate quickly wiped the tension from her face. “I saw Lady Sheffield. Over the honeymoon. At a dinner party, of all places.”
Edwina recoiled. “Oh my goodness.”
“She remains… rather hateful towards me. After all these years. I hadn't planned to tell Anthony anything, but when I returned home that night… he found me in something of a state.” Kate shifted uncomfortably, and Edwina nodded with understanding. “So, he knows about Bombay and the arrangement. He knows everything, really. Except…”
“Didi?”
“She…” Kate forced herself to lighten her tone, as if the event were nothing more than a minor inconvenience. “Before I left, she called me savage. Gripped my wrist and said it would be better if I were dead. Better for Anthony, for everyone.”
The words sank in, and Edwina’s face went white. Wide eyes reflected the quiet horror settling over her. “She… said that to you?”
“It’s not worth worrying about,” Kate replied quickly.
“You must tell Lord Bridgerton.”
“Anthony, Edwina. Anthony.”
“She threatened you. She—she actually—”
“It wasn’t an actual threat. It’s just her spite.”
“He has to know!”
“Not a chance. If I tell him, he’d issue a challenge to Lord Sheffield or act in an equally idiotic way. Over something of no consequence.”
“But it is of consequence!”
“This is my battle, not his.” Kate paused, considering. “I don’t want him to feel the need to defend me. If he knew…” She knew plain well what would happen. “It’ll consume him. It’s not worth his honor being tied up in it.”
“Consume him,” Edwina repeated, the distress on her face slowly giving way to a glimmer of romantic hope. “And you truly believe he holds no feeling for you? None at all?”
A quiet laugh escaped Kate. “He’d feel the same for any woman he married, trust me.” She rolled her neck.
Edwina fell silent for a moment. And then, quietly, “Nothing has been signed with the Sheffields, correct?”
Kate shook her head. “They added a stipulation saying you could only access the trust if you married a man of 'good English breeding.' I couldn’t bring myself to sign it. Even before Anthony and I got engaged.”
A deep sigh. “Oh, Didi…”
“Tonight, I’ll write to inform them the arrangement is canceled. When should I tell Mary?”
Edwina swallowed. “Mama is already anxious enough with the eyes of the Ton upon her. The Sheffields aren’t coming to town anytime soon, and since there’s no arrangement to speak of…” She glanced at Kate.
Her meaning was clear.
Kate finished her unspoken thought. “She doesn’t need to know.”
“Does that make us dishonest? What would Appa say?”
“This was my wrongdoing, not yours. And I would do far worse than lie to spare you or Mary of any pain.”
Edwina took her hand. “But it’s not your job to shield me from discomfort. I know you’ve done so for years, but I do not want you to. Not anymore.”
Oh, dear.
Kate recognized that tone. Loving, always, but unmistakably hurt.
Edwina wasn’t one to heap guilt on anyone, but there was a quiet sting in her words.
“I’m sorry, Bon.”
Edwina cocked her head. Raised accusing eyebrows. “For telling me, or not telling me?”
“Both.”
Her sister softened. “For too long, you’ve borne these burdens alone. It’s not fair.”
“I don’t mind it,” Kate hastened to say.
“But I’m not a little girl anymore, Kate. I’m a grown woman, ready to be a wife. And I’m your sister.”
“Yes, I know.”
“We share the weight now. No more secrets, agreed?”
In that moment, it occurred to Kate that she'd been avoiding this conversation for years.
Nodding in silent agreement. Pretending to be fine. Shouldering more than her fair share.
A few weeks with Anthony, and she had actually begun… warming to the idea that she didn’t have to face everything alone. Perhaps she could allow herself to lean on others.
Kate swallowed hard, the knot in her throat tightening. “Agreed.”