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Tsukasa stretches as the school bell rings, getting out of his seat with a hum as he starts to pack his bag. Tomorrow is the big day! A show, a show after so long! It has been a while since he and the other members of Wonderlands X Showtime could perform because of school, and tomorrow is their big day!
Him and Rui were going to hang out after school so that they can be together alone to talk about last minute preparations, and so that they can just..be together after they haven't been able to. Oh it’s gonna be a good day!
As Tsukasa continues to pack, Rui walks up to him with an apologetic smile.
"Sorry Tsutsu! I have to finish the work on Robo-Nene today. The show is tomorrow after all."
Tsukasa stares at him, blinking slowly as his mind processes what his boyfriend said, before he smiles, waving his hand as he continues to pack. “Oh, it’s fine! I wasn’t expecting much today anyways, heh..” He gathers his bags and looks up at Rui. “Are you going with Nene and Emu, or..?”
"Ah, yes. I will be able to hang out after I finish it, if you would like to get ice cream."
Tsukasa lets out his signature laugh, rubbing the back of his neck as his smile gets wider. “Oh, of course! I have to..do some homework, anyways..” He shakes his head, his smile faltering a bit as he says that.
To be honest, he wanted to meet in the Sekai just to get his mind off of Saki being in the hospital..again. It’s nothing serious, just a cold, but with how her body is, his parents took her to the hospital right away in case something went wrong.
Tsukaka knows why they did it, but the house has been..so lonely with it only being him alone most of the time because of the limited visitations he gets. Something about too many people in the room might make her more sick…Sigh. Whatever. He’ll go alone for now.
Tsukasa gives Rui a small kiss on the cheek when they both walk out of the classroom, his smile returning. “Just don’t blow anything up, got it?” He teases, and Rui laughs.
“Fufufu…you really think I would do that, dear Tsukaka-kun?~” Rui wraps his arms around Tsukasa’s waist, kissing him on the lips and making Tsukasa stutter in embarrassment. “But I promise, I won’t, my star.~”
Tsukasa pulls away from Rui, rolling his eyes as he pokes him on the cheek. “You better!” He chuckles a bit, before he says his goodbyes and walks away from Rui and out the school.
As soon as Tsukasa is away from everyone, his smile falls. He crosses his arms as he walks home, looking down as his heart aches.
…Why is he hurting..?
He should be happy! Rui is making sure their next performance will be their best! Yet..it’s been so long since him and Rui hung out, and..today was the only day they could..
Tsukasa knows that Rui won’t be able to stop working on Robo-Nene until it’s night time, and he would have to go home. By then, all the shops would be closed and they wouldn’t be able to hang out..
Tsukasa can feel a tear fall down his face as he enters his house and sees no one there. He quickly wipes it off, shaking his head. A star can’t be crying! It’ll be fine..it..will be..
Tsukasa goes to his room, dropping his bag on the floor as he presses play on ‘The World Hasn't Even Started Yet’ to escape the loneliness that’s slowly catching up to him.
As soon as Tsukasa enters the Sekai, the plushies all gather around his feet, calling out Tsukasa-kun, Tsukasa-kun! Over and over again as he lets out a surprised noise.
“W-Whoa! You guys sure are mighty excited today!” He says while picking one up, smiling a fake smile as he sits down on a bench, watching them all play. Tsukasa’s eyes darken a bit as his mind started to wonder, biting his lips as he pets the dog plush he is holding.
..Does anyone even like him anymore..?
Tsukasa’s eyes widen at the thought, shaking his head as he lets out a sharp breath.
W-what is he thinking..?! Of course people would like a star like him! He’s Tsukasa Tenma, the bright and future star-to-be!
..But he’s always so loud..anytime he speaks in class, his classmates always stare at him weird. Nene always says that he needs to lower his annoying voice. Even Rui sometimes has to tell him to lower his voice sometimes when he starts getting too excited.
Tsukasa bites his lips, tears starting to form in his eyes.
Rui..has been saying he’s too busy as of late..even with school stuff done, he always says he doesn’t have time, that he needs to work on Robo-Nene more and more as of late…
..Would it be better if he just disappeared..?
If he did..no one would ever have to worry about his loud voice anymore..or his selfish acts of wanting to become a star..and Saki wouldn’t have to deal with a annoying ass brother like him..and Rui would find someone way better than him, someone who can perform better, someone who can actually make Rui feel appreciated and loved and..
“Tsukasa-Kun?”
Tsukasa lifts his head up when he hears his name, seeing Miku walk to him with a look of concern. He quickly wipes his tears away as the cat girl sits next to him, putting a hand on his back and rubbing it with a frown.
“O-Oh, i-it’s..fine..” Tsukasa mutters, giving a fake smile to Miku as he looks away. “I..have to be fine, it’s all ok..”
“..You know, you can tell me anything, Tsukasa-kun.” Miku stares at him with a uncharacteristic frown.
Tsukasa breaks after that simple line, covering his face as he lets out a scared cry.
“I..I don’t know what's wrong with me..!! Everything I do to try and make people smile just ends up in people telling me to shut up, I’m- I’m trying my best! I just want to be someone that people can look at and smile! L-Like a true star!! A-A true star shouldn’t have these feelings!! I-”
Tsukasa looks up at Miku, tears pouring down his face. “What..What do I do to get rid of these feelings..?! I don’t..I don’t want to feel them anymore..! I..I don’t want to feel anything anymore..!!”
Miku stays silent for a minute or two (it feels like an hour in Tsukasa’s mind) before her smile comes back.
“What if you just disappeared from everyone's lives and give up?~”
Tsukasa’s face goes pale, looking up at the virtual singer with Dilated pupils. What.
“W..what do you mean by-”
“Ya know what I mean, Tsukasa-kun! It’ll be better is you disappeared, like you want to!~☆” Miku lets out a small chuckle. “You can take a whole bottle of your pills, or slit your wrists deeper than you usually do! Or even hang yourself with that rope you found backstage one day! But..Oh…”
Miku puts her hand to her chin as she hums. “No No No, that would be too messy, and then you would have to make people clean up after you..Oh! Maybe you can jump in front of a car!~ Wait, that’s also messy, and might hurt other people too…”
“M..Miku, s-stop-” Tsukasa tries to talk, but Miku interrupts him again.
“Oooooh! Got It!~ Jumping off a bridge and into a body of water might help! That way no one would have to clean up your body! You wouldn’t want Rui-kun or Saki to ever find your body, now do you?~♡”
At this point, Tsukasa is covering his mouth with one hand, tears pouring down his face as he hiccups. He clutches onto the plushie he is holding with his arm, letting out a scared sob.
Tsukasa knows. He knows that he needs to do this. He’s known for a very long time that he should just disappear but..hearing Miku say it..?
It Hurts. It Hurts. It Hurts-
Miku hums, patting Tsukasa’s head with a smile. “Or..you can stay here forever. That’s also an option..” She lifts his head up with her fingers, smiling more. “Whatever you want, Tsukasa-kun, I will help make it a reality for you!~♡”
Tsukasa doesn’t say anything to her, just staring at her with unusual, dull eyes. Miku sighs, backing away but the smile never leaving her face. “Remember, anything to make people happy..” With that, the singer leaves, leaving Tsukasa there with concerned plushies all looking up at him as he sits in shock, before he gets up, running to a alleyway in the Sekai.
He should disappear. He should disappear. He should do it. Do it, do it, d͔̤̟̫͙̈́ͦͭ̋o͌ͣ҉ ̶͔̣̞͌́ͨ̉i̲͈̫͒̽̽̈́ͬ̾̅t̹̦̗̟̖̥͉͑ͫ̂̽.
Another voicemail answer.
Rui stares at his phone in confusion. "Where has my star gone?" He frowns. Tsukasa hasn’t answered his phone in hours, no matter if it was to tell him that he's ok or that he loves him. This is..very unusual of him.
Rui taps his phone to find a song. Perhaps Miku had seen him. Rui taps on ‘The World Hasn't Even Started Yet’ and goes into the Sekai. He looks around, humming as he lets out a loud noise. Huh. Where is everyone?
"My starrrr!~ Where are-"
Rui freezes when he gets to an alleyway. He hears several small cries, and he tilts his head. He walks into the cramped space, and what he sees makes his heart almost stop.
Tsukasa Tenma, his boyfriend, his star, the love of his life, is leaning against the wall, his fingertips covered in blood as his wrists bleed on the ground. The look Tsukasa has on his face is..nothing like Rui has seen before on him. It’s blank, filled with nothing as he stares down at his bloodied wrist with a small, crooked smile.
Rui is shaking, his phone falls from his hands as he runs for Tsukasa in blind desperation. "Tsukasa!" His voice is raw, and he feels like he's screaming. Maybe he is. He reaches the blond, and doesn't know what to do. "Who…how- why…." Tears blur his vision.
Tsukasa stares up at him, his eyes dull and blank, and that sends a shiver down Rui’s spine. “R..R..Rui..?” Tsukasa tries to sit up, but he winces, leaning back on the wall as he laughs..how can he be laughing at a time like this..?! “I..I’m sorry..that you had to see me like this, h..heh..” Tsukasa stares at Rui with a clearly forced smile. “Y..you..you can go home if..if you want to-”
"No!" Rui didn't mean to scream. "God, no, Tsukasa, I can't just leave my star like this!" He pulls his vest shirt off, trying to use it to patch up the wounds.
Tsukasa tilts his head, trying to push Rui’s hand away as he shakes his head. “N..No, Rui, p-please..I..” Tsukasa tries to pull his wrists away when pushing Rui doesn’t work. “I’ll..I’ll be fine..I promise-”
Rui grabs Tsukasa's arms and holds him there, making him stay still as he patches up his wrists the best he can. "I'm not leaving the brightest star! You're my star, Tsukasa. I won't let you burn out."
Tsukasa falls silent as Rui helps him stand up, Rui making sure he keeps his balance. “We are going to my house.”
“H..Huh..? B-But-”
“No buts.” Rui sternly says, making Tsukasa flinch a bit. Rui sighs as he kisses the smaller one's head. “I’m sorry, but I’m worried about you, and I want to make sure you will be ok..”
Tsukasa falls silent again, looking down as Rui leads him to the exit of the Sekai, pressing the pause button as white light clouds their vision.
Tsukasa stares at the ground as Rui properly bandages up his wrists, biting his lips as he feels Rui’s eyes on him.
“...I’m sorry.” Tsukasa says softly, biting his lips as he laughs. “T..That wasn’t very star like behavior of me, w..was it..?” He shakes his head, looking away from Rui with tears in his eyes. “..It’s..pathetic of me, actually..”
Rui cuffs Tsukasa on his head, but he's smiling kindly. "Fufufu, you're our star, Tsukasa. Sometimes stars need a bit of help. You can reach out to me at any time, and Emu and Nene do care about you."
Tsukasa looks back at Rui, sniffling as a tear slips out of his eyes. “I..I’m still sorry..” He feels Rui’s hands on his cheeks, and before long he also feels Rui’s chapped lips on his own. His eyes widen for a bit, before he closes his eyes, kissing him back as he slowly puts his arms on Rui’s shoulders. After a bit Rui pulls away, smiling softly at Tsukasa as he tucks his hair behind his ear.
“You don’t have to tell me everything that happened if you are not comfortable telling me right now, my beloved,” Rui kisses his head. “But please trust me, I will be here for you matter what..”
Tsukasa lets out a soft whimper, before he looks away, covering his eyes as he makes a noise. “T..That..I..” Tsukasa sniffles, staring back at Rui with a shaky smile. “..Y-You’re too good for me, y-ya know that..?” Tsukasa laughs. “I’m..not the best, and here you are..telling me all this when I don’t deserve it..”
“Fufufu..But you are a star. A star that shines brightly, a star that always manages to put a smile on everyone's faces.” Rui strokes his cheek, kissing his head again as he smiles. “My star that always puts a smile on my face.”
Tsukasa sniifs, rubbing his eyes as he tries to speak–
–Before his stomach growls, and his face heats up. Rui lets out another laugh. “Oh, my star is hungry?~ Fufufu..my mom has made food already, let's go eat, shall we?”
Tsukasa simply nods, looking away as he grumbles something about not needing to be babied, and Rui ruffles his hair as they get up.
“...Hey..Rui..?”
“Hm?” Rui looks over at Tsukasa, who is simply laying down on his bed. He looks..cute like this, if he is to be honest with himself. “What is it, Tsukasa-kun?”
“..Can I..stay the night..?” Tsukasa mutters softly, pickling at his fingers. “I..don’t want to sleep alone, especially when no one is home right now, so..”
Rui looks at him, before he smiles at him, going to the shelf that holds his clothes and picks out a pair of pajamas, and handing it to Tsukasa with a chuckle. “Here, change into these. They might be a bit big, but they would be more comfortable to sleep in than the clothes you are in right now.” Rui hums. “You can go to the bathroom to change. I will change here.”
Tsukasa takes the pajamas, holding them close as he walks to the bathroom, and Rui starts to change in his bedroom, and as soon as he finishes, Tsukasa walks in, and it's hard for Rui not to make a noise of how cute his boyfriend looks right now.
The sleeves are just slightly over his hands, and he’s rubbing his eyes in tiredness, looking up at Rui as he yawns. Rui smiles, going over to his boyfriend and kissing his head again. He leads Tsukasa to his bed, laying down with him as Tsukasa puts his head on Rui’s chest, clinging onto him tightly.
“..I love you..”
Rui smiles, petting his head as he nuzzles Tsukasa’s head. “I love you too, my beautiful star..Goodnight, my love~”
“..Goodnight, Rui..”