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Eddie and Steve were propped up against opposite trees, Steve’s head tilted up to stare at the few stars that littered the sky above them. They were barely visible through the treeline, but it gave him something to do, so he kept looking at them, seeing if he could make out any shapes. The group had decided to stay in the woods for the night, as it wasn’t like they could just waltz back into Hawkins when the police were after half of them.
Eddie and Steve had volunteered to be first watch. Neither of them had slept much recently, instead struggling with nightmares and bouts of intense insomnia that left them tossing and turning until the sun washed away all chances of sleep. Sometimes it was just easier to stay awake than deal with the things they would see when they tried to sleep anyways.
Eddie was staring at Steve, like usual. Steve could always feel Eddie’s eyes on him, but he never dared to meet them. He feared that if he did, he would never be able to look away, and then he would end up telling Eddie something that he might not want to hear; that Steve had fallen for him hard and fast but that didn’t matter because, well, Eddie wasn’t gay. And even if he was, there was no way he liked Steve back.
So, Steve pointedly kept his gaze upwards, because there was really nowhere else to look. Either look at the stars in the sky, or the ones that seemed to shine in Eddie’s eyes.
But of course, Steve’s life was just one big cosmic joke, and Eddie just had to break the silence by speaking to him in a soft voice that made him melt just a little bit and forced him to meet his gaze. He looked down to discover that, yes, Eddie had been looking straight at him the whole time. Steve chose to ignore the way his heart fluttered with hope.
“What’s up Eds?” Steve responded just as quietly, both of them careful not to wake the rest of the group who were sleeping peacefully just feet away from them.
“You wanna smoke?” Eddie replies, a smirk clear in his voice even if Steve can’t fully see it in the dark. He watches Eddie reach into his jacket and pull out a joint from seemingly nowhere.
Steve snorts out a little laugh at this because of course this is the time Eddie would want to get high.
“Dude, we have to keep watch. What if the police come and we can’t do anything because we’re fucking stoned?” Steve replies sternly, but there’s no malice in his voice.
“We don’t have to get stoned,” Eddie leans closer and Steve can see his eyes roll with the last word, “Just a little high to take the edge off, you know?”
Eddie waves the joint in front of Steve’s face teasingly, inching closer and closer to Steve as he does it. It makes Steve’s face heat up and for the first time he’s thankful for how dark it is. Finally, he caves and snatches the joint from Eddie with a huff, partially to stop Eddie from getting any closer.
“Yes!” Eddie whisper-screams, pumping his fist into the air. Steve chuckles lightly at Eddie’s theatrics, always the dramatic one. Not that Steve minds. If anything, it’s endearing.
When Eddie hands Steve the lighter, he hesitates. Eddie looks at him questioningly, not even having to say a word before Steve spills what he’s thinking.
“Um..It’s just,” Steve starts, picking at his jeans nervously, “I’ve only smoked like...once. I don’t even really know how to do it.”
“That’s fine, you don’t even have to smoke it man,” Eddie plucks the joint from Steve’s hand and lights it while Steve is still trying to figure out what he means and before he can ask, Eddie’s taking a hit and lips are pressed to his. Steve freezes, because Eddie’s not quite pressed against him enough for this to be a kiss, but their lips are touching, so really what else could this be? As Steve is about to move to reciprocate the “kiss”, he feels smoke being blown into his mouth.
Oh, that’s what he meant.
Steve sat there for a little bit longer, stunned by what just happened, before hurrying to inhale so that he never had to do that again. Because next time, he wouldn’t be as stunned, and there would be nothing stopping him from leaning in and really kissing him.
Which obviously could not happen.
They sat there for a while longer in comfortable silence, Steve taking only one more small hit and not wishing to push it any more. Eddie finished the rest of the joint by himself but miraculously only got a little high.
“Shit, dude. How high is your tolerance?” Steve asked, his body more relaxed and his speech calmer now that he was mildly high and Eddie was leaning back on the tree across from him instead of being right next to his face.
Eddie just laughed at this, and Steve smiled at him fondly. One of the things he liked most about Eddie was his laugh. He blushed to himself.
“What’s got you all smiley?” Eddie asked, a bashful smile prominent on his face.
“Nothing,” Steve lied, shaking his head and looking at the ground, “just happy.”
“Can I ask you something?” Eddie requested, his voice sounding slightly…nervous?
“Shoot,” Steve responds, looking back up to meet Eddie’s eyes.
“Have you ever been in love?”
The question shakes Steve because, yes, he has. But he also is. With the very person asking him the question.
But obviously, he couldn’t say that.
“Yep. Nancy,” He juts his chin over in her general direction, “First semester, senior year.”
“Are you…still in love with Nancy?” Eddie asks, oddly timidly. Maybe he thought it was a sore subject.
“No,” Steve says simply.
“Why not?” Eddie wonders. Steve hadn’t been expecting that question.
In a rare, random bout of pure confidence, Steve decides this is as good a time as any. Maybe it was the weed.
“I think it’s because I found someone who’s a little bit better for me,” Steve replies, shrugging as if it’s so simple, when it is literally anything but. Never in his life did Steve “The Hair” Harrington think he would find himself madly in love with Eddie “The Freak” Munson.
“This…person, you know, the one that I like,” Steve continues, not yet revealing to Eddie that it’s a guy, that it’s him, “it’s somebody that I didn’t even talk to in school. And I don’t even know why. Maybe ‘cause Tommy H. would’ve made fun of me or…I wouldn’t be prom king. It’s stupid. I mean, Dustin’s right, it’s all a bunch of bullshit anyways.”
Steve knows he’s rambling at this point, but he continues because he needs to say it. He needs Eddie to know what Steve has been up countless nights thinking about.
“Because, when I think about it, I should’ve been hanging out with this person the whole time. First of all, he’s hilarious, he’s so funny. I feel like, this spring break, I have laughed harder than I have laughed in a really long time,”
Steve lets the male pronoun slip and he sees Eddie’s eyes widen in surprise and understanding, but Steve continues before Eddie can interject.
“And he’s smart. Way smarter than me. You know, he’s kind of a nerd, but it’s cute, and you know? He’s honestly unlike anyone I’ve ever even met before.”
With that, Steve finishes his stupidly long, stupidly honest speech. And Eddie says nothing. Nothing at all for a very long time and Steve can feel his heart drop through his chest and his stomach and hit the floor sickeningly. Because Steve has just poured his heart out toward someone that doesn’t feel the same way. And even worse, Steve had likely just poured his heart out to a straight guy. If Robin was awake right now, she would probably be laughing at him over the sheer irony of this situation.
Or, she would if Steve didn’t look like he was about to throw up, cry, and scream, all at the same time.
“...Eddie?” Steve says softly after the silence has stretched on so long that it threatens to coil around him and choke the life out of him.
Eddie is still looking at him with the same shocked expression that he adopted upon hearing that Steve’s crush was actually a guy. His mouth opens and closes dumbly. He so, so badly wants to say something, but he just can’t push it out of his mouth. At this, Steve sighs, pulling his knees up to his chest and putting his head in between them, curling up as small as possible against the tree.
“What?” Eddie finally gets out, prompting Steve to perk up and look at him again. A glimmer of hope flashes in Steve’s mind, but he pushes it down. Best not to get his hopes up, right?
“So…what do you think?” Steve asks, hoping Eddie won’t go silent again.
“About?”
“This guy.”
“He sounds awesome.”
“He is awesome. Metal as fuck,” Eddie laughs lightly at this, remembering their conversation after the demo-bats attacked them, “And what about the guy?”
“I think he’s on drugs, and he’s not thinking straight.” Eddie says sternly, looking down again. Because there’s no way this is happening. No way Steve means any of this and no way he would feel the same way if he was sober right now.
“Really?” Steve replies quickly, “‘Cause I think he’s thinking a lot more clearly than usual.”
“He’s not,” Eddie shoots him down again, “Look, he doesn’t even know this guy. And if he did know him, like, like really know him, I don’t think he’d even want to be his friend.”
“No, that’s not true. No way is that true,” Steve says, pulling himself off the tree and scooting closer to Eddie, who thankfully doesn’t shy away.
“Listen to me, Steve,” Eddie responds softly, “It’s shocked me to my core, but I like you. I really like you. But I’m not like your other friends. And I’m not like Nancy.”
“Eddie, that’s exactly why I like you,” Steve pushes, leaning even closer and lightly putting his hand on Eddie’s knee, “I don’t want fucking Nancy Wheeler. I want you! ”
“Why?”
Steve looks at him earnestly before pouring his heart out for the second time that night.
“Well, um, for one, I like your hair. I like the way it falls around your face, and the way you, uh, play with it when you're, like, nervous, you know?”
Upon hearing this, Eddie’s hand which had, in fact, been twirling in his hair, stopped as he considered Steve’s words. He didn’t even realize he did that. But Steve did.
“It’s weird because I’m so used to people wanting to touch my hair but I’ve never wanted to touch someone’s hair as much as I want to touch yours.” Steve continued,
“I like your face. Like all of it, but especially your eyes. I could stare at your eyes forever and still not understand everything behind them. But I want to. I want to know everything about you. I want to know all your hopes, your worries, your dreams; I want to pick apart your brain and hear you ramble about every little passing thought you have just so I can begin to figure out what really makes you you.”
Eddie is at a loss. He finally looks at Steve, and the hurt and confusion must be plain on his face, because Steve just continues.
“And your laugh man. Everytime you laugh I just want to like, I don’t know, bottle it up so that I can drink it down whenever I feel bad because your laugh makes me feel like everything’s gonna be okay even if it’s not. And I like your hands, which is honestly pretty embarrassing to admit, but whenever you fiddle with your rings or especially play guitar, I just sit there and wonder what those hands could do to me …”
And then Steve has to stop because he’s let his mind run too far and now he’s said something he shouldn’t have admitted and he’s half hard right now and he just needs to shut up .
“Are you messing with me man?” Eddie replies quietly, as if speaking any louder would ruin the moment and they would never get a chance like this again. Thankfully, it seems like Eddie didn’t focus on the last part of that sentence.
“Does it sound like I’m joking?” Steve says, sarcastically.
Eddie just continues to stare at him with that unsure expression.
“I would never, ever , joke about this Eddie.” Steve reinforces, squeezing Eddie’s knee where his hand is still resting.
And that’s when Steve kisses him. He slams their lips together fast, fearing that if he didn’t do it now, he never would. At first, Eddie just sits there. He’s not stoned by any means, but he sure feels like it. His head swims because how is this really happening? How is he sitting here kissing Steve Harrington in the woods?
Finally, Eddie kisses him back. He timidly reaches up to put his hand on the back of Steve’s neck and pulls him impossibly closer, lightly biting and pulling at his bottom lip. It pushes a moan out of Steve and Eddie can feel heat pooling in his stomach because god , he’s never heard a better noise in his whole life.
Eddie takes his open mouth as an invitation to deepen the kiss, Eddie running his tongue over Steve’s teeth. Steve wrapped his arms around Eddie, pressing their bodies together, and Eddie pushed back, making Steve’s back hit the ground behind him. Eddie was basically pinning Steve into the dirt, which Steve was not complaining about.
Steve looked at Eddie’s face. His pupils were blown and there was a deep blush on his face. His lips were red and wet from being kissed. Steve fleetingly thinks that he’s never seen someone look as pretty as Eddie does right now.
“Are you gonna regret this when you’re sober?” Eddie asks apprehensively, like he’s nervous about the answer.
“You don’t get it, do you?” Steve replies with a smile, reaching up to finally run his hand through Eddie’s hair, like he’d wanted to forever.
“I fucking
love
you, Eddie. I love you
so
much.”
Eddie’s eyes light up like he’s never seen before and he dips down to kiss Steve, smiling against his mouth.
“I love you too,” Eddie replies, without separating their lips.
Steve runs his tongue along Eddie’s which makes him moan and grind his hips down.
Steve was half-hard before, but there’s a full tent in his pants now.
Eddie presses light kisses down Steve’s jaw before he starts sucking on a bruise into Steve’s neck. Steve’s hips roll up involuntarily which makes Eddie bite down onto the spot he’s sucking. This pushes a loud moan out of Steve, and Eddie smacks a hand over his mouth.
Miraculously, no one wakes up. They both feel their shoulders relax, and Eddie starts to climb off of Steve. Steve grabs his shoulder to keep him there.
“Steve,” Eddie groans, “We have to stop. Our friends are right there .”
Steve whines, and Eddie rolls his eyes, and deliberately doesn’t think about how the sound went straight to his dick.
“Just…don’t get off of me yet. Let me calm down a bit.”
Eddie looks in between them and sees the bulge in Steve’s jeans and the similar one in his own. He bites his lip in thought, but shakes it away again when he remembers there are kids sleeping a short distance away from them.
“Me being on top of you isn’t going to help with your, our, problem, Stevie,” Eddie teases, rolling off of him earning a groan from Steve.
“I hate that you’re right,” Steve puts his face in his hands and moves to sit back against the tree. And this time, instead of sitting against the tree across from him, Eddie nestles in close to Steve and lays his head on Steve’s chest, his arm curled around Eddie’s shoulders.
They don’t go to sleep because they’re still supposed to be on watch, so they just sit together. But eventually Eddie’s breaths steady and Steve can hear his faint snores, but they’re so cute that he doesn’t bother waking him up. He can cover the watch on his own.
It’s the first night in weeks that Eddie has slept without nightmares, because the only thing he dreams about that night is Steve.