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Eddie laughs for the hundredth time, and Buck makes a noise of frustration against his lips at his inability to keep serious for their super secret needed make-out before going into work that Buck has suggested they have before each shift so they can keep their hands off each other.
Eddie thinks it’s ridiculous to schedule make-outs and can’t stop giggling every time Buck kisses him.
“Eds, be serious !” Buck scolds, and he looks kind of adorable with his small frown and pink pout. “I won’t able to kiss you for 24 hours, let me have this.”
Eddie nods, aiming for serious as he presses his lips tightly shut together as to stop the fit of laughter from bubbling out of his mouth.
He’s shocked into silence when Buck cups his crotch with his hand and sends him a look. “Always works.” He smiles smugly before leaning in and capturing Eddie’s mouth in a thorough kiss that Eddie responds to easily.
It does work, because he doesn’t want to laugh anymore.
It’s unfortunate because they’re in the Jeep and they have to leave his driveway in four minutes if they don’t want to be late.
Eddie parts his mouth to accept Buck’s tongue and sucks on it before pulling Buck’s bottom lip between his teeth, getting a muffled groan in response that is music to his ears. He’s about to jump over the partition to straddle Buck’s lap when his phone chirps with a notification and he pulls away, sighing.
It’s a text from Chimney, ever the cockblock, asking for coffee.
fuck you, get ur own coffee.
He drops his phone, satisfied with his answer and takes a minute to really look at Buck, and smiles, reaching out to lightly trace his cheekbones with his fingers. “Someday, I’m going to kill your brother-in-law.”
“And I will gladly visit you in jail and be the hottest significant other they’ve ever seen.” Buck pecks him one last time. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
They’ve been secretly dating for five weeks now, and Eddie has never ever been happier — not to quote that blonde crying girl he’s seen on Twitter or anything.
There haven’t been any fireworks, or any big dramatic confession. Eddie asked Buck out, Buck said yes, and they had their first kiss on his doorstep after their first date at an Italian restaurant downtown.
Since then, it’s been nothing but cuddling on the couch, sharing the bed after a long shift, dates at the supermarket and a lot of hot dirty sex. Basically domestic bliss.
He knew realistically that they would be amazing together when he asked Buck out, because they just fit, and because they know each other inside out, but the reality is so much better it’s everything he’s always wanted.
A simple life shared with someone he’s so in love with he can barely stop skipping around with the giddiness of having him.
He’s happy, and he’s almost ready to tell people, because he wants them to know that he’s in the best relationship of his life with his best friend, and he’s happy.
***
He’s chilling in the kitchen with Hen and Chim when they start nudging each other and he follows their gazes and falls on Buck talking with Lucy near the pool table.
“How long do you bet it’s going to take ?” Hen asks Chim who laughs.
“Buck either works too fast or too slow, I’m not sure.”
“What are we talking about ?” Eddie asks, utterly confused.
“Buck and Lucy.” Chimney says, like it solves the puzzle.
“What about them ?”
“We’re betting how long it takes for them to get together.” Hen says and Eddie freezes and it stings, but then she continues, and it hurts even more to hear. “He’s finally moved on from Taylor. They would be so good together, they have so much in common. I want Buckaroo to finally find some happiness.”
With Lucy.
They want Buck to date Lucy.
His boyfriend.
“It’s obvious he likes her, I mean he kissed her so the attraction’s there.” Chimney says and Eddie nods, trying to hide how crestfallen he feels. “She would be good for him.”
She would be good for him.
They would be so good together.
He knows that Buck loves him and he’s happy, content but what if— what if they’re right ? What if Lucy’s better for Buck ? What if Buck realizes he’s still into her, and he kisses her again and lies to Eddie about it and— No.
No.
He trusts Buck, Buck loves him but—
What if the entire family thinks Eddie’s not good for Buck ? What if they tell him, that he deserves better than Eddie, that he could get Lucy who’s so much better ? What if they judge them ? What if Buck listens to them ? He sure values their opinion a lot.
Buck looks his way and grins, eyes lit with quiet adoration and Eddie shuts the little voice inside of his brain off, because it doesn’t matter. He has Buck. Buck loves him.
***
Except it keeps happening and now Eddie knows, he can’t stop seeing it.
Athena stops by and shares a look with Bobby when Buck pushes Lucy off the couch while playing Mario Kart.
Hen walks away from her conversation with Buck when Lucy comes around to join them, just to leave them alone.
Maddie joins them for dinner and she asks Buck if he’s been seeing anyone, and unsubtly glances at Lucy while he tells her that he hasn’t because they agreed they’d keep it quiet, so he’s keeping it quiet and now Eddie kinda regrets it because— what if they set Buck up on a date with Lucy ? What if he goes ?
It’s crazy, he knows it’s crazy but he can’t help but be insecure.
He’s messed up, he’s a handful, he’s stubborn, he’s unwilling to cooperate, he’s closed off, he’s annoying, he’s a bad partner, a bad husband, he’s selfish, he runs away when things gets hard.
He’s heard it all before. How can Buck want him, just him, for ever ? It’s just a matter of time before he sees everything Shannon did when she looked at him.
***
Something is going on with Eddie. He’s been acting weird all week, and he’s been extra clingy.
Buck isn’t complaining, he loves cuddling his boyfriend, and he loves kissing him, and he melts about any time Eddie actively seeks contact with him, and it would be a great thing if Eddie wasn’t so… sad.
He seems sad. Sometimes he’ll look at Buck, examining him like he’s trying to find something there with a sad frown and sometimes they’ll all be together at work and Eddie’s shoulders will tense and he’s going to look defeated all shift.
Buck’s crazy worried he did something wrong but every time he asks Eddie if everything’s alright, he just smiles and kisses him and that’s the end of it.
It’s not like Eddie is unhappy at home, most of the times everything’s just the way it was, and Eddie is smiling widely and laughing along with his shenanigans and Christopher’s newfound middle schooler sass.
Maybe Eddie wants to quit work again ? Maybe he’s sad because he wants to come out to their family ?
He asks Eddie about it in bed. “Hey baby ?”
“Mmh ?”
“Do you want to start telling people about us ?” Buck asks and he knows it was the wrong thing to do because Eddie’s body immediately tenses in his arms.
“Why would we do that ?” Eddie asks in a strange tone, and yeah, Buck can definitely tell something fishy is going on.
“Because we want to share our love with the world ?”
“Oh.” Eddie’s face goes through a myriad of complicated expressions before settling on blank. “Can we wait a little more ?”
“Okay, we can wait a little more.” Buck agrees easily, kissing the top of his head in hopes he’ll relax. “I love you.”
“Love you too.” Eddie replies, and his body is already much less rigid, so Buck counts it as a win.
***
It all takes a head during a team breakfast at Bobby and Athena’s. Eddie looks nervous so Buck plans to sticking to his side because he’s extremely concerned by his latest behavior.
He greets everyone, happy to see them and turns away from Eddie for barely a second to get Jee-Yun from Maddie’s arms, and when he looks back, Eddie’s gone and everyone is watching the stairs with wide eyes.
“What happened ?” He gives Jee back to Maddie, because he needs to catch Eddie and doesn’t wait for any explanations before he starts running.
He finds Eddie sitting outside on the side of the road and his heart breaks as soon as he spots the tear tracks on his cheek.
What the hell did they say to him ?
He lowers himself on the ground next to Eddie, who doesn’t even scoot closer or lean towards him for support. He keeps staring blankly ahead and Buck doesn’t know what to do.
“Eddie what happened ?” He asks, and Eddie sighs.
“They all want you to date Lucy.” Eddie says bitterly. It was definitely not what he expected to hear.
“What ?”
“They all keep making these comments as to how she’s perfect for you, and how good you’d be together and—“ Eddie stops himself, finally looking at Buck. “Am I holding you back ?”
“No, no, who said that ?” Buck rushes and makes a decision, grabbing Eddie and tugging him towards his chest, because he’s not going to let his boyfriend cry without a hug. “Baby, I swear I didn’t know, and I don’t care what they think, you’re perfect for me. I love you, so much, Eddie, and you’re the only one I want.”
He doesn’t know why anyone would jump to those conclusions when he hasn’t seen Lucy alone outside of work ever. They don’t really hang out, they don’t even text. They get along well, obviously, but she’s just a friend. Even less of a friend than Ravi. They’re not compatible, they have vastly different priorities and interests in life.
“What if you fall out of love with me ?” Eddie asks in a quiet, broken whisper as he finally moves, encircling Buck’s waist with his arms and burrowing closer.
Buck hooks his chin over his head and holds tighter. “I won’t. You’re stuck with me.”
He doesn’t think he could ever fall out of love with Eddie. He’s loved him pretty steadily for four years, without it ever wavering or stuttering. His love is infinite, unconditional.
“What if they don’t approve of me ?”
“Why wouldn’t they ?” Buck asks, rubbing on Eddie’s back soothingly. “You’re their best friend, they love you. Of course they approve of you.”
Eddie doesn’t ask any more questions and Buck hopes he hasn’t got more insecurities, but he chooses to keep holding him, periodically kissing the top of his head.
“Dry your tears, we’re going to go talk to them.” Buck says after a minute and Eddie tenses, ready to protest.
“No—”
“Hey, no.” Buck cuts him off, taking Eddie’s face in his hands and starting to wipe away his tears. “They hurt you, even unconsciously and they need to learn to mind their own fucking business and stop this nonsense of trying to get me with someone I’m not interested in and who is not interested in me.”
“Please don’t make a scene.” Eddie pouts a little and Buck has to lean in to kiss it off.
“I won’t get too mad, don’t worry but they can’t just make my boyfriend cry and get away with it.” Buck kisses the beauty mark under his eye.
“Buck.”
“I’ve been worried about you all week, Eds, and it’s been killing me inside, okay, so please, let me just be a tiny bit mad at them for that.”
He can’t believe their friends were the reason why Eddie was so sad and quiet. He’s been going through so many catastrophe scenarios and basically torturing himself with them, and the answer was right under his nose the whole time. If only he had paid more attention to Hen and Chim conspiring whisperings.
“I’m sorry.” Eddie says, face twisting with guilt.
“Don’t be. C’mon Eds.” Buck gets up and offers him his hand, smiling when Eddie takes it and links their fingers together.
When they get back inside, the room goes silent.
Buck takes a deep breath before starting because he’s not used to being mad at them, he’s never told any of them off before but this is different. Maybe he can’t stand up for himself sometimes, but he has to stand up for Eddie. “I am absolutely livid to find out that you all have been gossiping about my love life behind my back, which would have been fine if you didn’t do it in front of the love of my life”
Maddie gasps and Hen’s gaze turns sad and guilty as Chimney’s eyes widen slightly. He even sees Bobby’s shoulders tense, his mouth becoming a fine line.
“Seriously what in Lucy and I’s relationship even prompts you to say we want to date each other ?” Buck asks, face twisting in confusion.
Lucy frowns. “Wait what ? You guys thought I was into Buck ?”
“Yeah, we like never see each other out of work, and they’re out there spreading rumors. Honestly it sounds terribly heteronormative, yeah we kissed months ago but so what ? Do you know how many people I’ve kissed while drunk ? Hundreds !” Buck snaps, holding his hands up. “You don’t see me dating any of them ! I can have a female coworker I get along fine with without wanting to jump her bones !”
They all look ready to talk but he interrupts them, not willing to listen to their apologies.
“No I don’t want to hear it, because you idiots made my boyfriend sad and insecure and I hate you for it right now so I’ll be ignoring you for an entire day before I can get over it even though I know you didn’t know and didn’t mean to.” Buck takes Eddie’s hand back in his and turns on his heels. “Let’s go home.”
***
As soon as they get home, Buck bullies Eddie into bed and cradles him as close as possible, burying his head in the crook of his neck and wrapping both arms around his waist.
He can’t believe Eddie could think even for a second that Buck could ever live without him. He’s so head over heels in love with that man, he can’t breathe when he’s not there, he can’t properly function without having seen his beautiful smile at least once a day.
“Eddie, you have to promise me you’ll talk to me next time anything bothers you.” Buck whispers, kissing the skin of his neck. “I can’t help you if you’re not talking to me.”
“I’m sorry, I know I just… I got so insecure I was worried if I told you… you’d agree.” Eddie admits and Buck closes his eyes, feeling the stab in his chest.
“Oh baby…”
“I know you wouldn’t but the little voice in my brain— anyways I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.”
He knows the little mean voice inside of his head all too well, and he understands what Eddie went through more than anyone ever could. They complete each other and they’re often opposites on a lot of things, but mental health wise ? They’re just the same.
Two insecure guys with a fuck ton of abandonment issues, anxiety, PTSD and depression who tend to bear the weight of the world on their shoulders and spend their entire lives feeling like they’re not enough.
“It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s okay. I get insecure too sometimes, but what matters is that we’ll always have each other, no matter what. I love you the infinite kind, you couldn’t get rid of me even if you tried.”
“Promise ?” Eddie asks in a small voice, sounding way younger than his years.
Buck lifts his head up so he can meet Eddie in the eye while he says, “promise.” He ducks back down, kissing the hinge of Eddie’s jaw as he settles back. “Yours.”
“Mine.” Eddie repeats in a murmur.
***
Eddie’s woken up by the doorbell ringing and he groans, knowing exactly who it is.
He carefully extracts himself from Buck who’s half on top of him and listens carefully for any sounds of Christopher waking up. He brushes his teeth as quick as possible and puts on a shirt and shorts he has lying around before going to open the front door to reveal the team minus Ravi and Lucy — who both weren’t really involved with the incident so he’s not surprised.
“Hi.” Hen says, looking apologetic. “We um… wanted to talk about yesterday.“
Eddie nods, slightly embarrassed by the scene he caused the past day. The several talks he had with Buck were helpful though, because he suddenly doesn’t need their approval anymore. He doesn’t care what they think of their relationship or Lucy or whatever. He has Buck, Buck loves him, and he loves Buck and frankly the only opinion he cares about is Christopher’s.
“Chris is still asleep so let’s keep our voices down.”
He lets them into the living room and is about to go wake Buck up when he hears the door of the bedroom close.
“Baby, where’d you go ?” Buck asks like a petulant child, pouting as he stalks over to Eddie, not noticing the three people in their living room, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his neck. “I hate waking up without you.”
“Buck.” Eddie calls, face flushed because he was not ready for the team to know how clingy and whiny Buck can be sometimes if he doesn’t get his kisses — Eddie is too but he likes to pretend he’s not. “Um, look around.”
Buck startles when he sees all of their coworkers staring back at him and he gasps, letting go of Eddie’s waist. “W-What are you guys doing here ?”
“You said you’d be mad for a day, so we gave you a day.” Bobby says, eyes twinkling with amusement as they trail around Buck’s bare body.
Buck looks down, and blushes when he realizes he’s in his underwear in front of everyone. “Um— I’m gonna go get dressed.”
Eddie hums, letting him go and not daring to meet anyone’s eyes while waiting for his boyfriend to come back. Thankfully, Buck only takes two minutes and comes back quickly, standing on his side, his body a warm line of support.
“We’ve apologized to Lucy, because she didn’t deserve to be gossiped about in her workplace.” Bobby adds, arms crossed. “And now, as your boss, I want to formally apologize to you two for that but also for any harm we may have caused, even unintentionally.”
“I accept your apology, Cap.” Buck says, with a small smile, it’s tight though and Eddie immediately sees him frown and scrunch up his nose slightly like he does when he has a migraine. “It’s not like we haven’t gossiped about anyone else in the past but—”
“But we usually gossip with the person in question.” Hen finishes, looking guilty. “We also should have been able to see it was affecting you, I mean I noticed you were acting weird and still didn’t connect the dots.”
“It’s okay, I was never mad… just… I get in my head sometimes,” Eddie says, smiling at Hen to reassure her. “and Buck gets a little protective.”
“A little ? I have never seen him more angry.” Hen laughs and Buck slings an arm around his waist and drops his head to his shoulder.
“Case in point.” Chimney says with a smirk, pointing to Buck’s position.
“Leave me alone, I have a headache.” Buck mumbles into Eddie’s shoulder.
Eddie frowns, running a hand through Buck’s hair. “How bad, sweetheart ?” It must be bad if he’s scrunching up his nose, it’s his tell-all sign for the big ocular and frontal ones.
“I’m fine.” Buck says, although he slumps on Eddie more, the brunette supporting his weight almost entirely.
“Go take an advil.” Eddie offers gently.
“I don’t want an advil.” Buck whines, and Eddie knows that exact mood of his. He’s in pain, so he pouts and whines and demands cuddles. It’s his most adorable one.
“You guys should go.” Eddie turns to his coworkers.
“But I wanted to ask more questions about—”
“Chim, do you want to ask us questions while I draw Buck a bath and massage his head, naked, in the water ?” Eddie asks, raising his eyebrows.
Chimney grimaces at the imagery. “I really don’t.“
“Then leave.” Eddie says, facing away from them to brush his lips against Buck’s temple. “Don’t worry, I’m going to take care of you.”
“I have no doubts.” Buck replies with a half-there smile as they hear the front door closing with a few echoed goodbyes from their friends. “Love you.”
“Love you too.” Eddie murmurs in awe of those words he’ll never get used to hearing.
A few hours later, he received a few texts from Hen that almost make him tear up.
We were very wrong about Lucy. You and Buck, you take care of each other and you protect each other, even from us. We couldn’t be happier for you two ❤️
You have nothing to be insecure about when it comes to Buckaroo, that man loves you more than anything. We all have always known, we just weren’t sure you would reciprocate, so we tried to set him up with someone he’d have a chance with.
Love you both so much, and please tell me next time I say anything that hurts you. You’re one of my best friends and I hate being the cause of your pain.
Thank you, love you too Hen ❤️❤️❤️