Chapter Text
If you told one-year-ago Miyano that he’d one day be spending a weekday night in a music bar instead of in his room reading BL, he’d probably say that you’re crazy.
But here he was, awkwardly playing with the iced soda he got for free while he slowly took in the surroundings. While the venue was more spacious than it looked like outside, the dozens of people that dotted it made him feel like he was on a rush hour train. He was thankfully near one of the room’s walls, so it wasn't as crowded as it could’ve been, but Miyano could still feel overwhelmed by what was happening around him. The air was full of conversation, and along with the unfamiliarity of the situation, it almost made his head spin.
In any other instance, he would never find himself in a place like this. He wasn’t one for big crowds, and he never really got into music so much that he would go out of his way to see a band live. But, like many of the things that he had done recently, he always made exceptions.
“You okay, Mya-chan?”
Sasaki’s words snapped him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see a kind but worried expression. He didn’t want to make him feel bad - after all, it was Sasaki who invited him to attend the gig, and Miyano was so swayed by how his boyfriend excitedly talked about the band that he couldn’t find it in him to say no to his request.
“I-I’m fine,” he said, forcing some excitement into his response. “J-just a little nervous, that’s all. I’ve never been to a place like this.”
“Hey, don’t worry about it!” Sasaki said with a smile. “Like I said, all you need to do is enjoy the performance. You don’t have to worry about anything or anyone else.”
Miyano’s heard that line from Sasaki several times over the past week whenever he voiced his worries about the gig, but it never failed to put him at ease. Sure, he would become a nervous wreck again shortly afterwards, but it always made his heart full knowing that his boyfriend could have such a calming effect on him.
Wanting to lift the mood up, he turned to Sasaki and asked, “So, it looks like you and Ogasawara-senpai aren’t the only ones who know about this band, huh?”
Miyano gestured to the crowd, which only became bigger in the few minutes that had passed since they got here. “Oh yeah, Given’s been at it for a while now,” the orange-haired boy replied. “I’m kinda surprised that they haven’t put out an album yet since that first song of theirs was all anyone could ever talk about back then. I think it’s just a matter of time, though.”
The shorter boy perked up at the mention of the song. It wasn’t the type of music that he usually warmed up to, but when Sasaki first made him listen to it in one of their stay-at-home dates at the taller boy’s room, Miyano couldn’t help but tear up. There was something so heartbreakingly personal about the lyrics, and when it ended, the first thing he wanted to do was to give the vocalist a tight hug. Since that wasn’t possible, he ended up hugging Sasaki instead, to which his boyfriend eagerly accepted.
“We should buy their album when it comes out, then!” Miyano said with a wide grin. He wanted to be as enthusiastic about music as his boyfriend was about BL, so it was the least he could do. “We could listen to it together.”
“I’d love to,” Sasaki replied with a familiar gaze, and Miyano melted on the spot. He could feel his cheeks turn red, and he couldn’t even blame it on his drink since it wasn’t alcoholic. He hoped that his boyfriend didn’t notice his reaction at such a simple response, but Miyano knew that Sasaki was perceptive of even the tiniest bit of emotion on his face.
It looked like the venue wanted to help him out though, as moments later, the lights suddenly turned off, and the metallic wall slowly rose up to reveal the stage. Miyano’s eyes widened as he could see silhouettes of four people, each holding their own instruments. The screams from the audience were becoming very loud, and he could hear several people shout names of what he assumed to be the band’s members. He was a bit overwhelmed, but he could feel a lot of passion and emotion in the room.
He heard two drumsticks clap three times, and the stage suddenly shone with a mixture of purple and white lights. Miyano only had a few seconds to take in the appearance of the stage before he recognized the tune that they were playing.
“Mada…”
Miyano’s heart almost dropped when he heard the word. He had listened to the song a few more times after Sasaki introduced it to him, but nothing could have prepared him for how emotional it was to hear it live. He remembered just how overcome with emotion he was when he first heard it, but it felt like it could barely compare to how he was feeling right now.
As a stark contrast to the cheers beforehand, Miyano noticed how almost everyone was intensely quiet while the band played through the song. It was almost like they were absorbing each word said, each note played, and each emotion displayed like a sponge. Miyano looked up to his boyfriend, and true enough, he could see that Sasaki was hypnotized by what was happening on stage. He only noticed then that their arms were interlocked - he doesn’t even remember when that happened.
There was one part of the song that Miyano could never get out of his head, and he didn’t know if he could handle seeing it live. True enough, when the vocalist screamed his heart out after the second verse, he almost automatically grabbed Sasaki’s hand and squeezed it tightly. Noticing this, Sasaki brought his arm around his boyfriend and pulled him closer, and all Miyano could do was rest his head slightly on the taller boy’s shoulder.
As soon as the song ended, the audience erupted into applause, with some throwing in a few loud whistles in the mix. Miyano discreetly reached for his handkerchief and wiped his face, hoping that the boy next to him wouldn’t notice.
“It’s ok, Mya-chan. I get emotional too when I hear that song.”
Miyano turned to his boyfriend, and true enough, he could see how teary Sasaki’s eyes were. Without even thinking, he took his handkerchief and wiped the tears off of Sasaki’s eyes and cheeks, making sure his grip was delicate enough that it wouldn’t hurt the taller boy.
Miyano could only stare absent-mindedly after realizing what he had just done, but seeing Sasaki’s flustered face was more than worth it.
“Hello everyone, we are Given!”
The two snapped out of it as they heard the introduction, with the crowd’s cheers echoing throughout the space. The blonde-haired bassist had taken the mic, with the orange-haired vocalist stepping aside to get a quick drink from a bottle of water. As the bassist said some words of gratitude to the crowd, Miyano saw how the black-haired guitarist slowly walked over to the vocalist and gave him a pat on the shoulder, which the latter returned with a soft smile. Alarm bells suddenly went blaring in Miyano’s mind.
No, not now, he told himself. Don’t bring BL into this. This is Sasaki’s thing, not mine.
“And I’m sure all of you are gonna ask us later, so I’ll say it now,” the bassist said with an almost goofy smile. “We’re working on the album very hard, and just between us, we think you’ll have something to look forward to later this year.”
The crowd’s cheering was even louder than before, and Miyano could feel Sasaki squeeze his hand even tighter at the news. Miyano looked up to give Sasaki a wide grin, and he got a soft smile in response - the same one that the vocalist just gave the guitarist.
I told you to stop! he heard himself say in his head.
“So, since we’re all excited, I think it’s about time we go to our next song,” the bassist said as he turned around to his bandmates, who all gave him a nod. He stepped back to his side of the stage as the vocalist positioned himself behind the mic again. The lights turned into more muted shades of blue this time, a stark contrast to the bright mixture of purples and yellows and oranges that preceded it.
Miyano watched intently as the vocalist stood almost uncannily still behind the mic. He saw the orange-haired boy take a deep breath, eyes still closed, and open his mouth.
“Nemurenakute mo…”
Ah, Miyano remembered this one. They were at his place this time, and Sasaki brought up that Given had released a new song. Miyano had to be reminded about who Given was - and he had to suppress the memory of suddenly crying when listening to their first song - and Sasaki enthusiastically gave him the other bud of his earphones so they could listen to the song together.
This was fortunately a lot less heartbreaking than the first song, so Miyano didn’t have to worry about unexpected tears. Still, he could feel the emotion in the vocalist’s voice, and he noticed that while the first song’s lyrics were about finding closure, this was about moving on. His boyfriend ended up giving him the same response when Miyano asked him what he thought the lyrics meant, which made him smile. All those manga he lent him must have made Sasaki a lot more attentive to storytelling.
Unlike the last song, Miyano noticed how the crowd was a lot more engaged this time, even hearing some of them sing along. He looked up at his boyfriend, whose expression said that he was like a kid in a candy store. He was happy to see Sasaki enjoy himself like this, and he was even happier that he could be by his side.
As he heard the vocalist belt the last note and the rest of the band end the song, the room erupted into cheers again. Miyano joined in with his own claps and cheers, thinking that the band really did sound better live compared to when he was hearing them on his phone.
“Thank you all!” the bassist said, taking the mic from the vocalist again, with the rest of the band playing some accompaniment as the bassist talked. Miyano instinctively looked at what the vocalist was doing, and true enough, he was exchanging words with the guitarist. The black-haired boy nodded at the vocalist and seemed to have told him something encouraging, as the latter took a deep breath and smiled in response. He knew he told himself that he would stop, but this was part of the show, right? They were doing all of this on stage, and he as an audience member would be remiss not to pay attention to it.
“This next song’s gonna be our last for tonight,” the bassist said, which received a loud mixture of “aww!” and “already?” responses from the crowd. “But we saved something special for this last one. Like I said before, we’ve been working hard on the album, and our team’s been kind enough to let us play one of its tracks, just for you guys. You think that’d be okay?”
The room roared with shouting and hollering, and Miyano saw his boyfriend’s wide grin when he heard what the bassist said. One of the many reasons Sasaki wanted to go to this gig was because he heard from Ogasawara that Given was playing unreleased songs in their live shows. Miyano remembered how Sasaki’s eyes lit up at that, and it gave him yet another reason to say yes when he was invited to the gig, despite all his reservations.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” the bassist said with a laugh. “But before that, let me first introduce the band.”
The bassist then took a step back, bowed to the audience, and said with a smile. “Hello, I’m Nakayama Haruki.”
At once, the band’s accompaniment became louder, and Miyano recognized it as the instrumentals to the previous song, with Haruki playing some notes on his bass. The audience cheered on, and he heard some people shout “I love you, Haruki-san!” to which the bassist responded with a goofy grin.
“Up next,” Haruki said when the applause died down, “we have everyone’s favorite drummer, Kaji Akihiko!”
The blonde-haired drummer suddenly went into a crazy drum solo that Miyano could only hope to hear again, and it crescendoed at the same rate as the audience’s cheering. When he finished, Miyano swore he could see one of the audience members fan herself.
“A show-off as always,” Haruki said with a smile, which elicited giggles from the audience. “And I don’t think the showing off’s gonna stop with our guitarist prodigy, Uenoyama Ritsuka!”
The black-haired guitarist smiled at the remark and started playing some of the melodies of the second song, before suddenly launching into an intricate display of his talent. Miyano recognized some parts of it as still from the same song, but it was a lot more complicated - and mesmerizing.
“What did I tell you guys?” Haruki said as Uenoyama finished his solo, the guitarist bowing after the applause meant for him.
“Last but not least, we have our singer-songwriter who’s just a bit too good at tugging our heartstrings,” the bassist said with a smile, and Miyano swore that everyone in the audience nodded in agreement almost automatically. “He’ll take us to our last song for tonight, so please give it up for Satou Mafuyu!”
The bassist then stepped back into his position and gave the mic stand to the vocalist, who stood behind it and made a long bow. The cheers reached a whole new volume at that, and Miyano could clearly hear the chants of “Satou! Satou! Satou!” from the audience. He even heard Sasaki join in, which he didn’t expect but was pleasantly surprised to see.
“Thanks everyone,” Satou said, and Miyano was surprised at how soft-spoken he was compared to the commanding presence of his singing. It was almost like he was nervous, which Miyano couldn’t imagine, given how much the vocalist looked like he was into it throughout the show. “Before we start, I have a request from all of you. Is that alright?”
The audience jeered in response, and Miyano noticed how the nerves on Satou’s face slowly melted away.
“Well, for this song, there’s this part where we want you guys to sing along,” the vocalist said meekly. “It goes something like this.”
And that meekness immediately transformed into confidence as he began singing. It was just a series of “Oh”s sung in a certain way, but it sent shivers down Miyano’s spine. And by the way Sasaki looked, he knew that he wasn’t the only one with the same reaction.
“Let’s try it out, okay?” Satou said as he started clapping his hands to the beat. “One, two, three…”
Miyano was impressed at how the audience got the melody down quickly. He was still trying to process the first few “Oh”s. He saw Sasaki blurt it out, too, and he figured that he’d just let Sasaki do the singing for both of them.
“That sounds great!” Satou cheered on. “One more time, okay? One, two, three…”
The audience sounded even better this time, and they were much louder too. Uenoyama even joined in, playing some chords to guide the audience with the right notes. Satou reacted to the playing, and he gave the black-haired guitarist a quick glance - one that Miyano didn’t miss.
“You’re all so awesome,” Satou said as the audience finished their “Oh”s, which was met with an enthusiastic response.
“Once again, we’re Given,” the vocalist said as the lights shifted to bright yellows and oranges. “And here’s a new song called Hetakuso.”
Three drumstick claps followed that, and the band was playing a more upbeat song compared to the first two songs. As Satou began singing, Miyano could feel that the lyrics were a lot brighter - and a lot happier.
It didn’t take him long to figure out that the song was about being in love and pursuing despite the difficulties.
His mind went back to how Satou and Uenoyama interacted with each other, and he could already fill in the blanks in his head. Satou must’ve experienced something very painful to write that first song, but Uenoyama’s presence gave him the strength to write the second song - and the warmth to write this one.
He didn’t even stop himself this time, since he was all too familiar with the storyline. And while he knew that his pain couldn’t have been anywhere near what Satou experienced to write that first song, he still felt that Sasaki similarly brought him up and gave him the strength and warmth he needed to get to where he was today. It hasn’t even been a year since they began dating, but he knew that Sasaki already impacted his life more than anyone in the past seventeen years combined.
He saw Satou excitedly grab the mic and shout, “Daraka koe wo kikasete!”
Suddenly, the stage lights dimmed and the whole venue’s lights shot up. As if on cue, the whole audience started chanting the “Oh”s they were taught mere minutes ago. He saw his boyfriend sing along, and he knew that Sasaki was over the moon with how happy he felt.
“Mouichido!” he heard Satou scream, and the audience repeated it.
Miyano suddenly tugged on Sasaki’s shoulder, which caught the latter’s attention. Before the taller boy could react, Miyano got on his tiptoes and pushed his lips to Sasaki’s.
He only meant for it to be quick, but he felt Sasaki push toward him to extend it. Miyano never made these kinds of moves in public, but there was something about the atmosphere that made it feel just right.
Their lips finally separated after a few moments, and he saw Sasaki give him a warm smile. Miyano knew exactly what his boyfriend wanted to say, and he hoped his own expression gave the adequate response.
It took the audience’s cheering for them to realize that the song was already over.
They were walking back to the train station, the street filled with the other audience members raving about the new song or talking about how excited they were about the album later this year. Sasaki himself was contributing to the atmosphere, telling Miyano how much more amazing the band was live and how they were definitely getting that album on the day it was going to drop.
“And how was your first live show, Mya-chan?” Sasaki suddenly asked him.
“I-it was great!” Miyano replied, slightly taken aback. “I admit that I was a bit nervous at first, but you’re right about how songs sound so much better when you hear them live.”
“Doesn’t it? I’m glad that you enjoyed it too,” the taller boy said. “We should definitely catch another show sometime. There are a few bands in my playlist doing some shows soon.”
“We definitely should!” Miyano said, and he didn’t have to force the enthusiasm in his voice this time. “And I wanna watch another show with Given, too!”
They were about to reach the station’s entrance when Sasaki suddenly said, “But, I have to tell you, Mya-chan, I don’t think any show’s gonna top this one for me.”
“Oh? Why’s that?” Miyano asked, and then Sasaki gave him a knowing gaze.
Miyano’s face turned red right then and there. He still didn’t know what came over him for initiating that kiss. Was it the music? Was it the overwhelmingly uplifting mood of the audience? Was it seeing Sasaki enjoying himself so much?
Whatever it was, Miyano did know one thing - he didn’t regret it at all.
“If there’s one thing that I didn’t expect from the show, though,” Sasaki said after a while, with both of them already on the platform waiting for the train to arrive, “it was how you haven’t brought up anything about the band members yet.”
Miyano didn’t really want to start talking about the band since he might go on full BL mode if left unchecked, so all he said in reply was, “Why’s that?”
“Well, when Ogasawara brought his girlfriend to one of Given’s shows, he told me that she couldn’t stop talking about how the vocalist and guitarist looked cute together,” Sasaki said almost nonchalantly, but it got the gears in Miyano’s head turning once again. Miyano knew that Ogasawara’s girlfriend was just as much of a BL fanatic as he was, so he would’ve probably been more surprised if she didn’t see the signs like he did.
“Uhh, well…” Miyano started before covering his face. “I, uhh, I don’t want to make it weird. I barely know them, after all. But… I can see where Yokota-san is coming from.”
He heard Sasaki laugh in reply. “Your BL senses were tingling the entire time, weren’t they?”
“It’s not like I wanted them to!” Miyano said, his face turning red again. “It’s just… they look good together, alright? I’ll leave it at that.”
“Alright then,” Sasaki replied as he tussled the shorter boy’s hair. “Tell me all about it tomorrow, okay?”
Miyano could only laugh at how well Sasaki read him when it came to things like this. It was one of the many reasons why he loved him.
“Good job, everyone! See you tomorrow at practice!”
The four band members went their separate ways, with Haruki and Akihiko heading to the former’s car and Mafuyu and Ritsuka walking to the train station. They were walking a bit faster than usual since they didn’t want to miss the last train.
The band had received several congratulatory praises from the audience members who waited for them to go outside, and they even got some invites to hold gigs in other venues. If they could say yes to all of them, they would, but the band knew that they needed to dedicate as much time as possible to putting the finishing touches on their debut album.
“You were great back there,” Ritsuka suddenly said in the middle of their walk, which surprised Mafuyu.
“Thanks, Uenoyama-kun,” he said with his usual soft-spoken tone.
“No, really,” the black-haired boy continued. “The way you engaged with the audience and motivated them to sing - it was almost like I was watching another person.”
Mafuyu could only laugh at that. “I know I’m not as lively as Haruki-san or Kaji-san, but I do try, you know?”
“I didn’t mean it like that!” the guitarist said, and he had to check his volume since it was way too loud for that late an hour. “What I meant was, well, three months ago, I don’t think you would’ve even had the courage to do that and asked Haruki-san to do it for you. But when you insisted that you wanted to be the one to teach the audience Hetakuso tonight, all three of us knew that you were ready. And you blew everyone away.”
Mafuyu then clutched Ritsuka’s arm and nuzzled his head on the latter’s shoulder, which sent the black-haired boy’s brain spiraling. The guitarist quickly glanced around to make sure there was no one watching them, and when he saw that the coast was clear, he took his boyfriend’s hand and squeezed tightly.
“I was only able to do all of that because of you, you know,” Mafuyu said after a while, the train station’s entrance already in sight. But then the vocalist suddenly shifted the conversation and said, “Hey, when we were performing Hetakuso, did you notice that couple near the back?”
Ritsuka knew exactly who he was referring to. He had seen the tall orange-haired boy with the shorter black-haired boy near one of the corners while Haruki was introducing the band members. He saw how the two never separated their hands, and he definitely saw how the two kissed in the middle of Hetakuso.
“Y-yeah,” Ritsuka said after realizing that he wasn’t responding. “You saw them too, huh?”
“I couldn’t stop looking at them while they were kissing,” Mafuyu admitted. “I felt bad for invading their privacy like that, but part of me felt happy that I could get those kinds of emotions out of people listening to our song, you know?”
Ritsuka was about to breathe a sigh of relief that that was what this was all about, but then he heard Mafuyu add, “And a bigger part of me wished that we could do that too. In front of everyone.”
The guitarist pressed his free hand against his face, making sure to cover the redness that was beginning to form in his cheeks. What annoyed him more was how he had the exact same thought when he saw the couple. Oh how he wished he also interrupted Mafuyu’s singing and kissed him then and there, proclaiming their love to the audience.
“Sorry, Uenoyama-kun, I didn’t mean to make you uncomf—”
Mafuyu couldn’t finish the sentence as Ritsuka suddenly pulled him in for a kiss. The vocalist widened his eyes in surprise, but then immediately relaxed and returned it.
When their lips separated, Ritsuka instinctively looked around to see if anyone had caught them in his moment of weakness. Thankfully, the only people he could see were the ones already inside the station, far away from where they stood.
“I, uhh, didn’t want some other couple’s kiss to be the last thing on your mind tonight,” Ritsuka said after a few moments, his face already red from all that happened.
Mafuyu could only smirk at the remark. Looks like he wasn’t the only one who had changed in the past three months.
Guess he’ll have to thank that couple when he got the chance.