Chapter Text
Mai took the short walk from her home to the palace gates, where the guards bowed their heads, letting her in without a word. She had a date with her boyfriend today, and they were expecting her.
She nodded gratefully to them and continued on, meeting him in the courtyard.
He had expensive looking robes on, and his hair slicked up into a tight top knot. She noticed he was wearing eyeliner, and thought he was very handsome with it. He was not wearing his crown, because their date would be in the privacy of the palace gardens, without the world watching them.
Her boyfriend was Fire Lord Zuko, and while he looked incredibly regal standing there waiting for her, the second his eyes landed on her, it all melted away. "Mai!" He grinned, hiking his robes up slightly and running to her. "It's great to see you! You look stunning." He leaned down and gave her a peck on the cheek.
She felt herself flush slightly at the affection. "You saw me two days ago, Zuko."
"Two days too long." He wrapped his arms around her. She tried fighting off a smile but ultimately failed.
"You look nice too." She mumbled, returning the hug. "Are you ready for our date?"
He smiled, "Yes. The servants have already set the picnic up." He held out his elbow for her to link her arm through, and together they walked from the courtyard to the private gardens, hidden away from the rest of the palace, from the rest of the world.
Mai loved Zuko with her whole heart, and she felt confident that he reciprocated that feeling, but sitting in the gardens, surrounded by the most beautiful flowers in the world, the shining sun, and the warm breeze, she wished a certain someone else was there in his place, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could pretend that she was perfectly content. Today, however, she did her best to enjoy the wonderful date Zuko planned for her.
Right after the end of the war, Mai decided to move out of her parents' home. She found a place as close as she could to the palace without living on palace grounds. Zuko had offered her a luxurious suite on the grounds themselves but she declined. Nothing personal, she just didn't want to deal with the politics that would constantly be flitting about around her, and didn't want to deal with having overly-attentive servants, both reasons she left her parents' place in the first place.
She hadn't realized how big the house was until she was fully moved in, and spent her first night there alone. She was awake all night, staring at the ceiling and longing for the presence of another. She came to a startling realization, that it wasn't Zuko she wanted laying next to her, but Ty Lee. And shockingly, Azula.
She had tried to shut the thoughts out of her brain, but images of the three of them throughout her childhood wouldn't leave her alone, and it was well past sunrise before her eyes even closed.
That night was six years ago, and it had taken around six months after that to work up the courage to ask Ty Lee to move in with her. Her overly enthusiastic response made Mai wonder why she had been nervous in the first place.
Mai sat in the kitchen of said house, the sun not quite peeking out from under the horizon yet. She held a hot mug of coffee in her hands, savoring the warmth like it was sacred.
"Maiiiiiii~!" Ty Lee sang from the top of the stairs, cheerful despite the early hour. "I have training at the palace today, would you like to come too?"
Mai stared at her reflection in her coffee, trying to remember if she had any plans for the day, and came up empty. "Sure."
Ty Lee sat on the railing of the stairway and slid down, the way she did every time she descended them. "Wonderful! Suki said we're going to have a special guest during training and then have lunch in the royal dining room afterwards!"
Mai gulped down too much coffee at once, and felt it sting her throat. It took her a while to figure out why she hated when her friend spoke of the Kyoshi Warrior leader, but she knew now that it was a little spark of jealousy. She knew it was ridiculous, she spent plenty of time with Ty Lee. It shouldn't bother her when she spent her days training with the others, or when she went away for weekend missions, or retreats, or spent nights in the palace working, or-
"Oh! Speaking of, how was your picnic with Zuko yesterday?" She sat down across from Mai, with a cup of tea and a large plate of fried eggs and cut fruit, which she slid to the middle of the table.
Mai felt her cheeks burn slightly, thinking about how she spent most of the date imagining it was the other girl with her instead. She couldn't tell her that though, so she forced that thought out of her mind. "It was very nice. He had the freshest purple berries for us, and shared some of the tea his uncle sent him."
"Oh, that is so sweet!" She cooed, propping her head up on the table with her hand. "I just love purple berries.”
"I know." She murmured, staring into her coffee instead of at her friend. The images she conjured up yesterday of feeding them to her flashed before her eyes again.
"Maybe they'll have some at lunch today." Ty Lee mused. “I love when they turn my tongue purple. It’s so fun.” She popped a piece of melon in her mouth, and gazed out the window, looking lost in thought.
Mai didn't stare. She picked up a fork and started eating some of the eggs.
They headed out pretty quickly after finishing their meal, with Ty Lee leading the way.
"Good morning!" She chirped to the two palace guards, who grinned and returned the greeting as they opened the gates for her. They watched after Ty Lee as she walked in, ignoring the other girl as she trailed behind. Mai knew that they were enthralled with Ty Lee's warm and bubbly personality. She couldn't blame them.
The training grounds were filled with girls, some Mai recognized, some strange to her. Some of them had already started helping each other paint their faces. She could tell the newer recruits by how they struggled with the brush.
"Ty Lee!" Suki's voice came from behind. "Oh, hello Mai!" She tacked on when the girls turned to greet her. She was already in dress, her face perfectly painted. "Do you want to join our training today, or are you just here to watch?"
Suki had asked her numerous times if she would like to join the Warriors, but Mai always declined. She didn't think she could handle the constant closeness the girls shared with each other. Her stomach turned thinking of how they would treat her if they learned she had been painting their faces and helping them dress while being… what she was. "I'm just here to watch today. Thank you." She bowed her head to the warrior in gratitude.
"No need to be so formal, Mai." She grinned. "But you're welcome. We always enjoy your company regardless."
Mai nodded. Ty Lee gave her a quick side hug and departed with Suki, the two of them going to sit and start on her makeup. Mai felt bitterness fester in her stomach at the sight of them sitting so closely.
She decided to check the knives she had with her to pass the time while the girls continued preparing for training. Going into the armory, she quickly located the whetstone and polish she kept there. After retrieving those items, she settled down on the nearest bench, and started going through the knives she had on her. It was enough work to keep her busy the whole time.
The girls had all completed their makeup and a girl Mai didn't know led the group in stretches. She kept her eyes firmly on the knife in her hand, and not on Ty Lee's lythe body a few yards away from her.
"Hellooooo, ladies!" A familiar voice rang through the grounds. Mai whipped her head up to see Sokka, of all people, walking in. Some of the girls groaned at the sight of him, but she couldn't imagine why. Despite how she acted, she enjoyed Sokka's presence greatly.
"Suki, you said it was a special guest." A younger voice whined.
"He is!" Suki protested, running up to greet him with a kiss on the cheek. "Sokka is the Southern Water Tribe Ambassador to the Fire Nation, an accomplished inventor and engineer, and a highly decorated war hero!" She sang his praises openly to the whole group. Mai thought, while technically all true, she was greatly overselling the young man. Love does that sometimes. Her eyes wandered against her will to her friend, who was in the back row, on the end closest to her.
Some more girls grumbled, but no one else said anything out loud.
Mai quickly realized why the girls had not been excited to have Sokka working with them. He worked them to the bone. Skill-wise, he was near the same level as Suki, and having two of them there meant the girls were under a much higher scrutiny than usual, and were exhausted well before lunch hit. Mai watched the synchronicity between Sokka and Suki as they sparred, and realized Suki probably hadn't been overselling him. He was really that good.
Mai had been watching Ty Lee spar with a younger girl when Suki called time. She looked over to see Sokka down on his back, and his girl standing over him with a smug expression.
"Lunch time, girls! Hurry up, we can't leave his Highness waiting long." She said with a hint of teasing in her voice. She looked over at the entryway and grinned. Mai glanced over and realized with a start that Zuko was standing there, leaning casually on the wall, like he’d been there for a while.
He didn't notice her looking in his direction, his eyes focused on his other friends. She stood up, and went back into the armory to return her tools. When she returned, the girls were on their way out and Suki, Zuko, Sokka, and Ty Lee all stood near the door, swallowed up in laughter and conversation. Sokka was leaning against Zuko’s side, gesturing wildly with his hands as he talked. Zuko had his arms crossed against his chest, and watched with a fond smile.
“Oh, Mai!” Suki noticed her first. Sokka jumped up, and Mai noted a red flush to his face. “We’re heading to lunch now.”
Mai gave her a small smile. “Thanks for waiting for me.”
Zuko held his arm out for her, and she linked elbows with him. He led the way from the training grounds, down the long hallways, to the royal dining hall. It was usually reserved for formal dinners or when there was a large group of people, like today.
Ty Lee walked next to Mai and Zuko, Sokka and Suki following a bit behind them. Mai could hear them talking quietly with each other, but didn’t strain to listen. They arrived at the lunch hall, where the rest of the girls were already seated, and the servants had been waiting for the Fire Lord so they could serve lunch.
He sat at the head of the table, more from habit at this point. Sokka was quick to sit next to him, pulling his seat closer and leaning in, continuing their conversation from earlier about the aerodynamics of warships or something like that. Mai sat on his right side. Ty Lee sat next to her, and Suki sat next to Sokka. Lunch was served, an impressive spread of meats, fish, and fruit. A bowl of stewed ocean kumquats was placed near Sokka, and Mai had had enough meals with him to know that they were his favorite Fire Nation cuisine. She recalled Zuko mentioning they reminded him of home. She felt mostly content, sitting with her favorite people, but it always felt like someone was missing. She knew who, but it hurt too much to think too long about it.
“Is there anything specific you would like, Mai?” Zuko asked her in a low voice, sliding his hands towards her.
She rested her hand atop his. “Do you have more purple berries?” He smiled, and nodded. As he turned to find a servant, Mai looked across to Sokka, and saw his eyes on their joined hands. She glanced at Suki, who was deep in conversation with Ty Lee about their next shipment about makeup supplies. “Hey, Sokka.”
He looked up at her, and blushed slightly. “What’s up?”
“How have you and Suki been? I feel like I haven’t seen you in quite a while.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. She hadn’t had a good conversation with the ambassador in a few weeks, though she sees Suki quite regularly.
“O-oh. We, um, we broke up. A bit ago.”
Mai raised her eyebrows, though she couldn’t say she was surprised. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright! We’re still best friends. We’ve just been…busy.”
Mai hummed. She didn’t doubt that was true. “How’s your work as ambassador been going? Last time we talked, you mentioned you needed to go home for something.”
“I actually managed to work that out via mail!” He grinned, “I was able to convince Pakku that compromising with Zuko over the oil trades would be more beneficial for him in the long run-”
Mai didn’t keep up with the minor details of international politics enough to know what he was talking about, but she was glad to hear her friend didn’t have to leave on a long trip. She honestly hadn’t been sure how her boyfriend would’ve handled it.
A servant placed a bowl of purple berries in front of her. She smiled and thanked him, before turning to the girl seated next to her. “Ty Lee.”
“Oh my gosh!” The girl laughed as soon as her eyes landed on what Mai was pointing out to her. “May I have some too?”
Mai held back a laugh. She had gotten them exclusively for her. “Yeah.” She slid the bowl towards her friend, and watched as the girl savored the fruit. The light in her eyes seemed to sparkle as she ate her favorite fruit, sitting with her favorite people. “Look!” She stuck her tongue out, and tried looking down at it. She was quite a sight there, with her purple-dyed tongue sticking out, her eyes crossed in an attempt to see it. Mai couldn’t help the giggle bubbling up inside her, a manifestation of the affection she felt for the weird girl.
She felt a tap on her hand. She turned back to Zuko on her other side. He had a look of concern on his face, and Mai’s insides turned, as if she had been caught stealing something.
She had. Stolen a little moment that wasn’t hers. Guilt flooded her senses. She was supposed to still be in love with the man in front of her. Not the woman beside her.
“I have just a couple meetings after lunch, and I’m helping feed the turtleducks afterwards. If you don’t have any plans, will you stay? We’re having ramen for dinner, and I’d like to spend time with you tonight, if you’re willing to wait.”
Mai relaxed, and smiled at him. “Of course, Zuk. I’d love that.”
He gave her a small smile, “Suki can keep you company, I’m sure. I’ll have one of the other warriors cover her shift.”
“I would like that.”
It was a relaxing day she spent in the palace with Suki. After the warrior was told she could have the afternoon off, she went and removed her uniform, and Ty Lee mourned that she still had duties to attend to. Suki laughed and told her next time, then the two of them spent their time between the library, the gardens, and the royal spa room.
Dinner was modest compared to their lunch. The three of them shared ramen together in the small dining nook adjacent to the kitchens, where the more informal meals were always enjoyed. Suki finished quickly, and excused herself, so she could go get ready for night patrol.
Zuko escorted Mai to his rooms. The walk was quiet, as their time alone together typically was. Mai always thought that they didn’t need to exchange words much due to their ability to read each other so well.
“Now, I finally have you alone, my majesty.” She said in a mock formal tone, closing the door behind her. Zuko snorted, a quiet laugh, before sitting on the couch. It was a large red velvet couch that could fit probably five people. Nonetheless, Mai sat so close next to him, she was practically sitting on him. He leaned into the touch.
Mai looked deep in Zuko's eyes, and he looked deep into hers. "I think we should break up." He said softly.
It didn't hurt, like she thought it would. Like she wanted it to.
"Okay." She said, just as softly.
Zuko frowned, concern clear in his eyes. "Are you… okay?"
Mai hesitated. She wasn't okay, really. She wanted to stay with him, to chase images of her other friend out of her head with his presence. When unwanted daydreams about a life with her friend filled her head, she wanted to cleanse them out with the thought of her very real future with Zuko. A very real future that just shattered.
She could tell he was being genuine. Mai knew Zuko like the back of her hand. She couldn't lie to him. And if they were no longer dating, maybe sharing the truth would be okay. Mai knew, deep down, he wouldn't shame her for how she felt. Hopefully.
"I- I don't know." She answered. "I like being with you. It's easy."
He tilted his head slightly, something she found quite endearing. "What do you mean?"
"I…" She hesitated again. What she was about to confess to him was illegal. Staring into his golden eyes, however, she knew he wouldn't hurt her. "I'm in love with Ty Lee. And I'm scared."
His good eye widened, and his frown deepened. "Oh, Mai…" Despite having just broken up with her, and her confession, he shifted towards her, and pulled her into his arms. She buried her nose in his hair, the smell of fire lilies still a comfort. "You have no reason to be afraid," He murmured, holding her close, "I will never let anything happen to you."
She felt most of her anxieties melt away. Her best friend being the Fire Lord really meant that she was probably the safest person in the nation. But there was still one thing that troubled her.
"Thank you, Zuko. But… I don't think…" She pulled away from him, but kept her arms around him, "I don't think she's… like me."
Zuko looked lost in thought for a second. "I'll be honest Mai, I wouldn't be surprised if she was." She rolled her eyes. She didn't want to get her hopes up. "But if you'd like, I could find out for you."
She shoved him hard, quickly pushing him off of her. "Don't you dare say anything to her!" She half-yelled, watching him tumble off the couch.
Zuko laughed out loud, resituating himself on the floor, and rested his head on the seat. "I won't say anything to her. But I know someone who's incredibly subtle, and could find out easily, without giving a thing away." He had a soft smile on his face, and his eyes twinkled with a faraway look. She knew the look in his eyes, and suddenly had a suspicion of why he broke up with her, but she wanted confirmation.
"Oh, who is she, then?" Mai asked with a smirk. "Is this master of subtlety the reason you wanted to break up with me?"
She watched his eye widen with horror, and his face turn a burning red. "N-No! It's not- Nothing like-" He buried his face in his hands, and sighed deeply. "It's not like that. I was just talking about Sokka."
She smiled. “Right. Sokka.” He looked back at her, narrowing his eyes at her. He was probably untrustful of her tone. He should be.
"Um. Yes. He’s great with extracting important information from some of the nobles without them even noticing." Mai hummed, considering it. She must've had some expression on her face, because he rushed to comfort her. "If you're not comfortable with me asking him to do something like that, I won't! But I know where he stands with people like- people like you, and I know it won't be an issue and we can trust him."
"Zuk, calm down. I do trust Sokka. I think it's okay."
He laughed a little bit, and smiled up at her.
"But Zuko. Is there something you would like to tell me? About yourself?" She reached out to his cheek, and brushed a strand of hair behind his ear. "You don't have to, of course, but I'm here for you, too."
His cheeks turned red again, and he cast his eyes down. "I broke up with you because I'm gay too." he said in a quiet whisper.
Mai frowned. "I'm not gay."
He turned his gaze back on her, confusion evident on his face, "I thought-"
"I'm in love with Ty Lee." She spoke confidently. "But I was in love with you, too."
Zuko grimaced. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make assumptions. And," he averted his eyes, "I don't think I was ever really in love with you. I'm sorry."
"Hey." She drew his eyes back to her. "It's okay. I understand."
They stayed there for a moment, eyes locked on each other, her hand on his cheek. She felt her insides warm, and she knew despite their breakup, he still held residency in her heart, and she hoped that he could say the same.
“We’re still best friends, right?” She asked.
“Of course, Mai.” He pressed his face into her hand, closing his eyes. “I love you too much. And,” He opened his eyes again, “we don’t have to tell anyone we broke up right away if you don’t want to.”
She smiled. “I don’t mind. I think there is someone waiting for you.”
He looked puzzled, but didn’t ask for clarification.