Chapter Text
*BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP*
Sleepily, you blink your eyes and groan, rolling over and stuffing your head under your pillow. You are John Egbert and you are tired of the god damn fire alarm going off at 3 in the damn morning. You let the piercing shriek of the fire alarm find its way through your pillow and fester in your ears before rolling back over the other way and straight off the bed. Groaning, you roll across to the door. If this is that Strider kid again…
You pull yourself up by the door handle and stumble into Jade’s room. Your cousin could sleep through anything, meaning you have to use an air horn to wake her up. You shove her off her bed and pull her up, grabbing the air horn. You lean your head away and push the top down. *fweeeee*
Jade swats at the air as you pull her toward the door, tossing the air horn behind you onto her bed.
“Come on Jade, fire alarm’s going off again.” She stands up on her own but continues to hold onto the back of your shirt as you lead her outside and out into the yard. You turn around and face the house, and, sure enough, the top left apartment is smoking for the 40th time since he arrived. Strider.
You talked to him a grand total of one time, the day after he moved in. It was 1:20 in the morning and he burned something and set off the fire alarm. He apologised (you were the only other one in the building that night) and you never talked to him again. Not even the next 39 times he set off the alarm in the middle of the night, forcing you to stand outside in the cold waiting on the fire truck. And the only thing you knew about him was his tendency to light things on fire. And his last name, Strider, which was posted on his p.o. box.
Next thing you know Strider comes out of his apartment, coughing and followed by a lot of smoke. He jumps over the railing and lands smoothly on the lawn in front of you. You meant to yell at him, but your mouth is too busy hanging open.
He strides over to his truck parked across the street in his garage, and rummages around, emerging with what might be headphones and a phone. You’re hopeless without your glasses. The fire truck finally arrives and a fire fighter walks up to you.
“Another Strider?” They ask you. This phenomenon has become very well known among the night shift workers at the station. You nod and they sigh, heading back to the truck to radio the station. You roll your eyes and make a decision. You’re gonna talk to that Strider guy. You are normally fairly cheerful, but it is 3 in the damn morning. So you’re not feeling all that nice right now. You march over to him and poke his arm.
He turns to look at you and you really wish he wasn’t wearing those shades right now, wait why is he wearing shades, it’s the middle of the night! Oh yeah, you’re angry.
“Can I help you?” He asks and shit you wish you could read his expression.
“Yeah, actually, you can. You can stop burning stuff in the middle of the night.”
“Sorry man, a dude’s gotta eat.” He says, unhooking his headphones and shoving his phone in his pocket.
“Well it’s rather hard to eat when you burn everything, now isn’t it?” You shove his headphones at him. “And why are you always eating in the middle of the night. Eat before you go to bed!”
“Is there a point to this?” He asks. You fume.
“UM YES! STOP BURNING FOOD AT 3 IN THE DAMN MORNING!” You yell, getting up on your toes so you’re eye level with him. Jade looks over at you and gives you the evil eye. You lower yourself back down and collect yourself. No need to be obnoxious. That appears to be Strider's job.
“Well, sorry, I don’t know how to cook.” He stares you down. Or, at least you think he does. You can’t see past his shades. He could be looking at his smoking apartment for all you know.
“You don’t know how to cook?” Waves of sympathy roll through you. “I could… teach… you…?” You squint a bit and look at him.
“That’s cool.” Ok, that’s not a confusing answer.
“Umm, so that’s a…” Trailing off you raise your eyebrow at him.
“Yeah sure man, if you feel like it.” He brushes past you and you glance over your shoulder to see that his apartment is clear of smoke.
“Cool! I’ll see you tomorrow… uh,”
“Dave.” He calls back waving over his shoulder before walking up the stairs and disappearing into his apartment.