Chapter Text
Derek had a routine. It was simple and well-worn. Erica used to joke that they could tell time and keep track of dates by his routine. She once remarked she always knew it was Wednesday because Derek would chug a protein shake at his desk those mornings. She started syncing outfits with him to see if he could notice, he did but wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction. But routine is what gave him comfort as little else gave him calm. His days went thusly; Sunday he would wake up with the sun and have black coffee then go for a run. He’d come home to stretch and a weight lifting regimen. He would shower and stretch again. Following his stretch he would read a book and have a lunch, usually rice with steamed vegetables and protein. He would then watch a movie and work on one of the many projects he had going around the house to stay busy. Then dinner, face-timing his sisters to hear about their life, cleaning up, then going to bed.
Monday, Wednesday, and Friday were all the same - He would wake up and eat a small breakfast and watch the sun slowly peak through the trees. He would sip coffee on his porch. Derek would change into his work attire and head into the office where Erica and Boyd would greet him with a muffin or other pastry. Issac would ask him about his evenings and then get to his projects. By mid-morning Derek would drink a protein shake and get ready to answer all his correspondence. He would move through the rest of the day and go straight to the gym after work. He would follow his directed pattern of muscle target groups and head back home to shower and have dinner. Then he would read or research something before going to bed, occasionally he would chat with Liam or his uncle Peter. Tuesday and Thursdays were much like the other work days minus the gym. Thursdays he would go out to dinner with Erica, Boyd, and Issac. He almost always felt overwhelmed by 8:00 pm and would retreat back to his place and wind down.
Saturdays were surprisingly unstructured until the evening. That day would vary between solitary relaxation or being dragged to various events by Erica and Boyd. Saturday night was his own and it was his favorite night of the week. See, Derek did not like many people and he found relationships of most types complicated or difficult to navigate. He has struggled meeting new people and to connect with anyone outside of who he already knew. He had known Erica, Boyd, and Issac since high school. Liam he met through his sister Cora. Liam brought other friends around a few times who all seemed nice enough but he didn't bother to connect much.
Anyway, Saturday nights were his and his alone. That was when he was at his most relaxed. See, Derek discovered something to help him unwind a few months ago. He often had trouble relaxing. Erica always told him he needed to get laid, which was not something he was particularly keen on, at least not how Erica meant. He knew he was tightly wound and he understood why she would suggest sex, but it wasn't something he felt comfortable pursuing, he hadn’t in a long time. He’d had a bad relationship that left more of an impact than he cared to examine. All he knew is that afterward being physically or emotionally vulnerable or intimate felt near impossible; so he didn’t try. Instead, whenever he needed sexual release he resorted to porn just like a lot of other people. He would look at pictures or watch videos and those worked well enough, but then he discovered cam girls. And boys. He wasn’t entirely picky one-way the other about gender, but there was an allure to it that gave him more satisfaction than a picture or recording. Seeing someone react to others, to him, it scratched the itch just enough.
It had taken him awhile to find a channel he really liked. Some were too formulaic or glitzy. Some were more extremel than he liked. Others were fine but felt hollow. He sorted through dozens until he found one that left his heart racing and filled him with this deep sense of comfort and contentment. Her channel, that was the one he gravitated towards. Her channel, Lis’ channel, was how he spent Saturday night.
Lis was someone he suspected most passed over at first glance. She was awkward and raw. There was no polished movements or worn routine to entice viewers. Her outfits were were geared more towards comfort that titillation, which he had an appreciation for. She had tan lines on her shoulders and her eye mask looked like a cheap costume prop, simple, matte black. She would giggle and flail when she was performing and some found it off-putting that she wouldn’t pretend to be dumb or simperng. She would take suggestions but only follow through with what she likes. All of those things made her viewership low, but she was exactly what Derek liked. He didn’t want a well-rehearshed performance or curated wardrobe. He knew none of it was entirely real but this was the most genuine channel that existed. He liked her clumsy movements and the sound of her laughter was a balm on his soul.
She was sitting in her usual spot, a threadbare chair in front of a vanity. Her hair was down today, hanging softly at her shoulders. She was wearing what looked like a man’s tank top, the sort with large arm holes that showcase almost her entire torso. Each time she turned to the side you could see a glimpse of her breasts. She was in a teasing mood, it seemed. She would shift and turn and a little peak would happen here and there. He wasn’t entirely sure it was accidental on her part. She cleared her throat and began.
“Hello, chat. Welcome to my saturday night playtime. I see some familiar names and I’m happy to see you,” she smiled.
The char had approximately 20 people in it. Derek liked that. Most others, especially more popular channels, had hundreds at a time. He knew the most popular channel on the site had a record 3000 on average. But Lis’ channel was niche. Or it seemd niche. Derek was one of at least 9 people who regularly attended her shows. Of the 9, most were polite, but at least 2 of the people there asked her to do things she always said she wouldn’t do, sometimes getting angry about it. She has had to ban at least one person who said some, frankly, disgusting things to her when she wouldn’t follow his request. She kicked him off and proudly announced he would not be back. Everyone was fairly glad for her action and praised her. Derek, was weirdly, protective of her as well.
ShadowGuy411 : happy to see you today, Lis.
Redredred : looking lovely as always.
AHungDude69 : nice side boob action.
ShadowGuy411 : Bro, let her get into things before you get gross.
AHungDude69 : it’s porn. What else would I be here for?
AracnidFusion : tit-ilating conversation. Buh dum tish. I’ll see myself out.
“You guys are funny sometimes,” Lis giggled, “I personally love a pun. Especially about tits.”
Derek never spoke much in chat, not that he didn’t have a lot to ask or say. At least, not in front of others in the chat room. She didn’t do private chats, it said so on her page. She would ignore them if they came in or were requested. Derek understood that, life is already hard enough in general as a woman, he thought it was a smart move to not accept private messages on a porn site where she is the performer.
She was sitting up higher and adjusting her camera. It seemed like she was going to move to different areas of the room. She did that a lot, she would wait until the room was ready and get situated wherever she was actually going to do for the night. Once she started in her living room? Bedroom? He wasn’t sure, either way she started in one place and ended up in her bathtub where she soak and played with herself for them. It was one of Derek’s favorites.
“I am hoping everyone behaves because I have a new toy I’d like to use. But only if everyone is extra nice,” she had a sing song voice as she moved to sit on the floor of her bathroom. She had arranged things to where she had a large pillow to prop up against, a bottle of water to the side, and a basket to her other side.
Redredred : we love new toys.
AracnidFusion : I love watching a new toy get broken in. Is this the first time you’re using it?
“It is!” Lis grinned, “Normally I like to try them out first in case things just don’t work or just don’t feel good. But this one is very straightforward.” She held up what looked like a dildo with a suction cup base. It was pink and smaller than some of the other ones she had used before. It hada stimulator for her clit as well. She showed it off and then held up some sort of device with a USB plug. She inserted it into the laptop and clicked around a bit before giving herself a fist pump.
“Ok, so it’s a vibrating dildo that is controlled by you guys,” she beamed.
ShadowGuy411 : omg. That is so hot.
Redredred : how would we do that exactly?”
AHungGuy69 : I’ve seen these before, they r super sexy. I wanna make you squirt.
Derek rolled his eyes at ‘AHungGuy69.’ He could tell that he was going to be probably annoying all night. There were always new guys like this checking out the channel. They were usually crass, which wasn’t unexpected given what this site is even for. But Lis didn’t often entertain language like that.
“So. This will be hooked up the server and when you type ‘hit’ then the toy will buzz. Try it,” she waited.
Redredred: hit
It buzzed quickly and she snickered as it vibrated in her hand.
“See? So cool,” she snorted, ‘Now, I’m gonna get it set to the floor and get myself nice and lubed up. Please wait until it’s set up before making it buzz, otherwise, things will just take longer.”
She mulled about adjusting things around her and getting the dildo suctioned to the floor. She would twist and he could see her breasts pop out for tiny moments and the chat would erupt with praise. She had a bottle of lube and she grabbed a towel. The sink was behind her and there was a book perched on the edge of it. It took him a second and he realized it was a Haruki Murakami book. Sputnik Sweetheart. He read it a few months ago when he was looking into magical realism. He had gone to the library with Liam and found them while Liam was looking for whatever academic texts he had on hold.
He wondered if she liked it, or if she had even started it. Did she read it in the bathtub and doze off afterward? Did she curl up on her couch with it? Did she read it while she drank coffee early in the morning? He imaged what she might look like immersed in something other than this. As he looked back at her he saw her ready to begin. She was biting her lower lip and had slicked up the dildo. She was kneeling behind it and towing with the hem of the shirt. She tugged at it gently and revealed she was wearing crotchless panties. Derek groaned. He loved when she wore those. He didn’t know why but the idea that something, or someone, could just quickly slide in without pulling her underwear off. He found it sexier than her going without underwear at all for some reason.
“Alright. Let’s get started everyone,” she seemed to blush slightly as she pulled the shirt over her head and placed it on the ground behind her. She dripped some lube onto her fingers and slowly teased her fingers down her abdomen. Her other hand cupped her breast and she took a shuddering breath.
Her breasts were small, barely handfuls and Derek preferred that as well. Many of the women on the site had larger chests and plenty like that, but Derek leaned towards her lithe body and smaller frame. He wanted to grab her by the waist, his fingers meeting at the small of her back.
AHungGuy69 : fuck yourself on it already. Hit
The toy buzzed where it was on her tile floor. She huffed and dropped her shoulders.
“Ya know, it’s not hard to be patient. You haven’t even tipped me or anything. I'll get to it, man,” she sighed. She took a moment before getting started again. Her fingers ran up and down her slit as she knee walked forward to hover over the toy. She kept playing with her folds and letting out little breaths.
“Even when I’m by myself I like to take it slow. Sort of like a treat to myself,” she hummed as she moved lower, just pressing the tip to her opening, not quite sitting down. She was letting it enter her just slightly before sitting back up. She did this several times before slowly letting it fill her. She gave a soft moan and shivered.
FullMoon : hit
She gasped and grabbed her inner thigh. “Thanks wolfie,” she smiled. She had taken to calling him wolfie because his nametag made her think of werewolves. She said so in one of his first chats where he bothered to say anything.
Redredred : hit. Hit. Hit.
AracnidFusion : hit.
Her mouth dropped open and she whined. She liked it. It seemed someone else controlling the toy was something she was into. “That feels really good. The vibration is perfect.” She revealed.
AHungGuy69 : hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit.
ShadowGuy411 : slow down, man.
ILikeYourTits : just one hit. Then another. Hit.
Redredred : hit.
FullMoon : hit.
AHungGuy69 : hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit.
“Ahh,” she stuttered, the toy buzzing wildly inside her.
AHungGuy69 : come on, slut. Give it to us. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit.
FullMoon : she doesn’t like derogatory language. Stop.
AHungGuy69 : Then maybe she shouldn’t have started doing fucking porn. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit.
Derek grit his teeth. He knew Lis could handle herself in her channel but this guy is not even trying to take it easy on her or let her build-up. Guys like this always wanted to rush.
AHungGuy69 : Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit.
AHungGuy69 : come on, I wanna see you just cum all over that cock. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit.
FullMoon : if you think persistence is all it takes then it’s no wonder you come here for this.
Lis read through the chat and snorted, then gave a deep belly laugh.
AHungGuy69 : fuck you. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit.
AracnidFusion . You have to ease things. Hit. Take it easy. Hit.
AHungGuy69 : whores don’t need anything easy. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit.
FullMoon : stop calling her that. She has a name and she has very clear rules on her channel about it.
Redredred : don’t listen to him Lis. You’re sweet. Hit.
AHungGuy69 : christ, you guys are whipped.
AHungGuy69 : hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit. hit. Hit.
“Too much,” Lis warned.
AHungGuy69 : I’ve bet you taken more. I bet you have had guys run a fucking train on you. You cunt can fucking take it. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit.
FullMoon : Shut up, man. Leave the chat. This clearly isn’t for you. Treat her with some respect. It’s not hard.
AHungGuy69 : fuck you, bro. She’s a hole to fuck.
“That’s enough of that,” Lis grunted.
AHungGuy69 has left the chat.
“He is not allowed back,” she sighed, “Sorry, guys. I need a minute.”
Everyone waited patiently, except for ILikeYourTits who announced this definitely was not his style but appreciated Lis’ vibe in general, but he would be seeking out something more his speed. Everyone else appreciated his candor and said goodbye. Derek watched Lis readjust and settle back into her role for the night. She took a few breaths and relaxed, it almost looked like she was meditating, eyes closed as her chest slowly rose and fell. Eventually, her eyes opened back up to catch up with chat and get back to the task at hand.
“So. Do your thing. Or things, as there is more of you. But maybe rev the engine first, ya know? I can jump right in with the best of ‘em but warm up is nice with a new toy,” she gave a nod and everyone slowly built her back up. The hits came slowly and deliberately. Derek didn’t type much as he watched her squirm and writhe on the toy. He wondered what she would be like with human fingers on her body that weren’t her own.
Redredred : Hit. You’re so pretty when you bounce like that. Hit. Hit.
FullMoon : When your lips part like that and your cheeks go pink you are unbelievably lovely.
Lis read the chat and blushed furiously when Derek’s message popped up.
ShadowGuy411 : Hit. Roll your hips more. Hit. Hit. Put more pressure on your clit that way. Hit.
She did roll her hips and the hits kept coming. She was moaning louder now and hands clenched atop her thighs as she approached her orgasm. It was the prettiest sound when she came. It wasn’t overly loud or showy like in some of the other channels, it felt authentic and how she would sound if she were alone as well - almost a silent scream as her chest and back went rigid, her hips stuttering and pressing down to the toy more firmly, cresting. The tendons in her neck were clear under her skin, Derek wanted to bite them. He wanted to press his face to her throat and feel her coming under him. He hadn’t felt anyone come with him in years.
“Oh, oh,” she whined, breath coming fast.
AracnidFusion : Hit. You can do it. Cum for all of us. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit.
FullMoon : Hit. Cum, pretty girl.
She gasped and then it happened. She quaked and shook and braced herself on the counter behind her. Her head fall back and he watched her breasts rise and fall.
FullMoon : Beautiful
ShadowGuy411 : love it.
Redredred : so sexy.
She looked up and gave a slow smile. She was coming down and her flushed face was a perfect site. Derek realized he hadn’t touched himself at all, normally he didn’t and would take care of himself later but he usually at least teased himself.
“Thank you everyone,” she hummed. She clicked on a few things and unplugged the toy. She was going to go through her routine of fully relaxing before ending the show, she liked to end it that way rather than ending things after she reached completion. She looked at tips she accumulated, Derek couldn’t see the total but he only heard a handful drop. She deserved more.
FullMoon : Are you going to read more Murakami after this?
Lis squinted her eyes and then glanced behind her and grinned, “Yea, actually. It’s easier for me to concentrate after a good orgasm. I don’t know why.”
FullMoon : How far are you into the story? I read it earlier this year and really liked it.
“Really? Cool,” she laughed, “I’m only like a quarter of the way through. But I’m into it.”
FullMoon : I think you’ll like the section when Sumire starts to travel.
“Yea?” she tilted her head to the side and furrowed her brow, even he could see that look through her mask.
ShadowGuy411 : You’re both nerds. And I mean that with respect. I’m outtie.
Derek smiled and sat back in his seat. He was getting ready to exit too, finally taking care of the arousal threatening to test the durability of the seam on his briefs. He moved his mouse to exit the chat when an alert popped up. ‘Lis requesting a private chat.’ He dropped his mouth open in disbelief and froze.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Stiles bit her lip and waited. She never, NEVER, did private chats. At least not anymore. When she first started she had done a few but they always devolved to being treated horribly, which she supposed wasn;t a surprise but she had hoped she would get even a modicum of basic respect. But they would begin by trying to break her down. They wouldn’t even wait to talk about limits. Just insults. And that wasn’t something she was generally into. So she made it a rule to never do them. She stuck to her small groups on her main channel. She didn;t have a big viewership but she really didn’t need one, not for her purposes. She started camming to make extra money as she never really could make ends meet. But then it became sort of an unofficial social experiment. Then into something she genuinely enjoyed. She liked getting off with people watching. It was a better replacement than masturbating alone. It wasn’t as if she had very many partners lining up. After she ended things with her last boyfriend Matt she has been going solo. Matt was nice until he wasn’t. He would judge her for everything she was interested in, what turned her on, how she dressed, her friends, and almost anything else he could observe. He tried to change her - to break her down into something he could mold into what he really wanted. She almost let him until Lydia snapped her out of it. She packed her things and left in the night.
She found a small, one-bedroom apartment near her college and started over. She has been alone since then, struggling some months more than others. Camming was a godsend on her leanest months, giving her enough to get by. She wasn’t trying to make a living, just get by. Which is why she had so many rules. One of the biggest to never connect with a client, they could be dangerous and she wasn’t trying to put herself in danger. Sex work already came with risks that didn’t need to be there, but people never wanted to protect them.
All that aside, here she was, sending a private chat request to her Wolfie as she has taken to calling them. All because, what? They talked to her about books? Who cares that she likes to read, those people were there to watch her masturbate and get on with their nights. But maybe she was lonelier than she thought because a fluttering in her chest when they asked about her book.
FullMoon : Did you mean to message me? I thought you didn’t do private chats.
Lis : Normally don’t, but I wanted to keep talking about the book. No one else I am friends with reads the same books as me.
FullMoon : Oh. I’d be happy to do that.
Lis : You don’t have to pay me for it. I’m not fishing for more money.
Stiles froze. She didn’t need more money, that’s true. She had enough this week for groceries and her phone bill. The rent was taken care of last week.
FullMoon : Don’t discount the value of your time. Of course, I’ll pay you. I like talking about books anyway.
Lis : At least let me turn on my camera. Then you can see me.
FullMoon : You don’t have to.
Lis : I know. I’m offering.
In the next minute, her camera was on and FullMoon got to see her sitting comfortably on her couch, hair pulled up into a messy bun and wearing the same tank top from earlier. She was sitting with her legs tucked under her body, the book set to her right. She smiled at her web camera, hoping FullMoon wasn’t off-put by her relaxed demeanor.
“Ok. So, am I supposed to like K because I don’t?” she started, not even giving either of them a chance to adjust.
FullMoon : I honestly just started laughing.
FullMoon : And I’m not sure if you’re supposed to like him or not. He’s sort of self-centered and stays that way for an uncomfortable amount of time.
FullMoon : What part are you at exactly?
“Ok, Good to know. He’s a whole vibe that I just cannot get down with right now,” she snickered, But - uh, I’m at…” she opened her book to find the section she just finished. “So, Sumire met that other woman and has started acting differently. K is being weird about it. Almost possessive. I feel like he’s a teenager with how he is reacting.”
FullMoon : you’re not far off about his behavior. He’s emotionally stunted. Murakami explores that a lot in his work.
“Huh,” she had a thoughtful look before picking her book back up, “Sumire seems emotionally stunted too, but in an entirely different way. I haven’t decided if that is sexism or not.”
FullMoon : She is too. But for the same reasons. It’s hard to explain without spoiling a lot of it for you.
“I’m not a fan of spoilers,” she sighed. She shifted and turned to her side as she reached for her water bottle. She could feel air over her breast and was sure FullMoon was getting an eye full, not like he hasn’t seen it before. Or other parts of her. She sort of wished she could them, wondered if they could still be aroused by her like this. Matt didn’t like her trying to seduce him when she wasn’t all dolled up. But she didn’t want to think about Matt right now.
“I think I can probably get through a good portion of the book tonight,” she stretched her arms and let more of her chest peak out, she could feel her nipples brushing against the fabric.
FullMoon : I hope you like it.
“I like a lot of things,” she stretched again, arching her back. She wasn’t sure why she felt like enticing someone who already watched her ride a dildo.
FullMoon : Are you getting ready for bed soon?
“I usually stay up pretty late,” she turned again, tugging at her shirt hem, “I have trouble sleeping most of the time, actually.” Her breasts were fully visible, her shirt taught between them.
FullMoon : you don’t have to do that. I am happy to just talk about books.
“No one is ever happy to just talk books. Except maybe librarians. Are you a librarian? If you are then that is really cool. I sort of want to be one but did you know you need a Master’s degree to be a librarian? I think I could do it but my ADHD is bonkers lately so it seems like an impossibility but who know, maybe I can hyperfixate for like 3 years straight and succeed. Anyway, this is sex work. I assume you came here for these,” she prattled off quickly as she moved her hands to cup each breast.
FullMoon : I mean, yea. I came to this channel for porn, but you’re still a person. Which means you’re more than just a very nice sets of tits.
Stiles snorted. She liked that Wolfie walked the line between flirting and friendly. It was a tricky line to walk. “I am a person with a very incredibly nice set of tits.”
FullMoon tipped $300
“Holy shit,” she hissed.
FullMoon : I’ll give you more if you put your tits away and tell me why you want to be a librarian.
“Oh my god,” she exasperated. She adjusted her shirt and covered herself up.
FullMoon : Would you want to run your own library?
“I’m not sure. Maybe. I like the idea of being in charge of one. Having cool events and stuff. The one I grew up with had really nice summer events. I would be in there all the time. My dad worked a lot so I’d be there all day. Air conditioning and Harry Potter. Fuck the terf that wrote them but I loved me some wizards,” she beamed.
FullMoon : my sisters made me read them Harry Potter a bunch of times. I was more of an LOTR person, to be honest.
“My dad would read me The Similarion to go to sleep. I’m about some Tolkein. Plus, he also sucked as a human being. It’s a wash on a lot of the authors though,” she breathed out.
FullMoon tipped $200
“Bro, you can’t keep dropping money because I’m talking about books,” she leaned forward, elbows on her knees.
FullMoon : it’s positive reinforcement.
“You’re a weirdo,” she chirped.
FullMoon : it’s been said.
FullMoon : but you should go eat something and relax. Take a bath and read.
“Maybe I hate baths,” she joked.
FullMoon : I’d probably believe that if I hadn't seen you masturbate in one like 8 times. I think maybe you like it a lot.
“I can't decide if that makes you a creep or not. Probably shouldn't call my clients creeps. Except for that one guy. He was gross. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but go try a different drink, my dude,” she gave.
FullMoon : I can accept being a little creepy. It is what it is.
“Fine. See you next week, Wolfie,” she blew a kiss to the camera and exited the chat. She closed her laptop and sat back on her couch. She has no idea what possessed her and she had to process that entire exchange. She flirted. He gave her money. To talk books. She now had an extra $500 that she had not banked on and she could definitely afford better groceries this month. She could visit her dad more, take him out to lunches.
She flung herself back on her couch and pondered why she broke her main rule. Maybe she was that starved for attention. You’d think camming for people would help with that. But that wasn’t a true connection. That was a performance - almost. She was still her, but they were only there for her fun bits. She decided to take Wolfie’s advice and take a bath. But first, she would eat a giant burrito and have a sparkling mango water.