Chapter Text
Qing-jie
https://queercourtesan.com/2020/10/10-ways-bdsm-helps-my-adhd/
Wei Ying
omg i don’t want to hear about you and my brother’s sex life qing-jie gross gross
Qing-jie
Idiot, it’s not for me
Wei Ying
???
Qing-jie
Have you opened any of the links I’ve sent you?
Wei Ying
maybe.
Qing-jie
So none of them. You’re the fucking worst, Wei Ying.
Wei Ying
Qing-jie is so mean to me!!
Qing-jie
Just read one of them, please.
Wei Ying
ok i skimmed. I don’t even have adhd??
Qing-jie
sure you don’t.
Wei Ying
I don’t!!
Qing-jie
You don’t have a diagnosis, you mean. Look, I’m just saying that I think it would help you. Give you something to focus on.
Wei Ying
ya but I’m not rly into kink at all??
Qing-jie
I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that. Look we’ve all seen how you react when Lan Zhan uses his dom voice on you.
Wei Ying
lan zhan??? dom voice???
Qing-jie
omg i take it back. both of you are the worst. jfc wei ying just ask him to tie you up or something already.
Wei Ying can’t come up with a response to that and puts his phone down, thinking. He really had skimmed all the articles that Wen Qing had sent him. Sure his brain is full of bees sometimes but isn’t that true for everyone? He picks at a jagged cuticle on his right hand thoughtfully. The idea that Lan Zhan would want to… dom – dom him – Is pretty funny though. They’re just friends, even if Wei Ying does sometimes think about how Lan Zhan would kiss.
That’s a perfectly normal thing to think about your best friend. It’s all the proximity that does it.
Speaking of. Wei Ying glances at the time on his phone and jumps. Lan Zhan will be here in fifteen minutes - ten, really, he’s always five minutes early. They had plans to hang out and watch movies together today since Wei Ying has the day off. He hurriedly shoves a few things into cupboards to try and make the room look more presentable and folds the blanket currently bunched up into one corner of his couch. He’s just dumping an armful of dirty dishes from the coffee table into the sink when the doorbell rings.
“Lan Zhan!” he says, opening the door.
“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan replies, his voice all deep and rumbly as usual. Lan Zhan has brought a box of popcorn because of course Lan Zhan never comes over without bringing something. This may have been a slightly self-interested gift, though, Wei Ying thinks, as the majority of his movie snacks are covered in spice.
“I’ll make popcorn! You want anything to drink?” he says, taking the offered box.
“Mn. Just water.” He grabs a beer for himself and a glass of water for Lan Zhan and deposits them on the coffee table after throwing the popcorn in the microwave. They wait for a minute, the silence punctuated by the loud popping of the kernels. Wei Ying feels sort of uneasy in a way he hasn’t felt around Lan Zhan in years. He blames Wen Qing for this, he decides. He’s going to be listening all afternoon for what she called Lan Zhan’s dom voice and it will be agonizing. He dumps the popcorn in a bowl and zooms over to the couch, plopping down next to Lan Zhan, their knees knocking together.
“Ready for the movie? We decided we were gonna watch that new sci-fi thing, right?” Wei Ying says, fishing for the remote which, despite his best attempts at cleaning, is still shoved down into the couch cushions. Luckily it’s on the side that Wei Ying chose and he doesn’t have to hang over Lan Zhan while fishing around in the couch cushions.
He pulls it out triumphantly and navigates to the movie. They sit in silence during the opening and Wei Ying launches into occasional chatter during the first half of the movie, commenting on absurdities in the storytelling or whenever there’s a weird bit of CGI. Lan Zhan makes small noises of agreement and, on one memorable occasion, insists that he thinks the makeup artist intended to make the scars look that way while Wei Ying laughs.
They’re more than halfway through the movie and Wei Ying has lapsed into an awkward silence, the bees in his head buzzing insistently. Lan Zhan seems comfortable sitting in silence although he does keep glancing over at Wei Ying who can’t decipher the expression on his face. A few minutes of this pass and Wei Ying is feeling antsier by the minute. The movie isn’t keeping his attention, it’s a dumb plot with worse CGI. The bees in his brain buzz. He’s not paying attention to the movie at all when he blurts out “Wen Qing said she thinks you should dom me.” He laughs, awkwardly, trying belatedly to make it into a joke “Isn’t that weird? It’s weird, right?” Lan Zhan looks at him, an expression on his face that’s clearly concerned this time, and reaches for the remote to pause the movie.
“Is that something you are interested in?” Lan Zhan says carefully. Wei Ying lets out a wheezy laugh.
“I don’t know?? She says it could help with uh.,” he points to his head, “brain problems. Y’know.”
Lan Zhan nods and says, “I am familiar. Somewhat.” Wei Ying suddenly feels transparently perceived. Apparently, this is something that people just?? Notice about him??
“What do you mean familiar?” he says croakily.
“Wei Ying, you are aware that I am autistic.” Wei Ying nods. This is, in fact, something he knows about Lan Zhan, who had finally gotten a diagnosis once out of university and had explained to Wei Ying how arduous the process was. “There is some overlap. Obviously, there are more differences but,” he gestures to where Wei Ying is tapping nervously at his knee. Wei Ying stares at his fingers and wills them to stop tapping, curling his hand into a fist.
“Okay but that’s not the point,” he says, feeling like this should be obvious. “Don’t you think it’s weird that she thinks we’re,” he makes a gesture encompassing both of them “like that?”
Lan Zhan looks at him thoughtfully. “Kink does not have to be sexual. She knows we are friends.”
Wei Ying’s brain skids to a halt. “Doesn’t have to be sexual?” he says dubiously. “I thought that was kind of the whole point?” Lan Zhan shakes his head.
“It can be but it is not a necessary component.”
Wei Ying’s brain finally starts working again and seizes on something. “Okay, but how do you know this? Lan Zhan, are you secretly kinky??”
Lan Zhan blushes, the tips of his ears going rosy pink. “I was not aware it was a secret.”
Wei Ying is outraged. Lan Zhan has been having hot kinky sex this whole time and Wei Ying hasn’t known about it? Isn’t that the kind of thing you tell your best friend??
“Isn’t that the kind of thing you tell your best friend??” he says loudly. Lan Zhan looks at his knees.
“I did not want to make you uncomfortable.” Wei Ying throws his hands up in the air.
“Uncomfortable!! Lan Zhan!! I can’t believe you!” he says to the ceiling.
“Mn.” says Lan Zhan. “Are you interested in me dominating you?” The bees in Wei Ying’s brain backtrack to the beginning of the conversation and he goes beet red. He’d thought Lan Zhan would find it as ridiculous as he had. The thought that Lan Zhan actually has experience with this is suddenly too much for his mind to take.
“Lan Zhan. I - I wasn’t making fun of you or anything, promise.”
“Mn. You were not aware that I was interested in BDSM.” Wei Ying gulps. Trust Lan Zhan to just lay it out like that. Wei Ying scrambles for purchase in the conversation.
“I mean you don’t even like me like that, right?” Lan Zhan finally looks up from his knees, locking eyes with Wei Ying.
“If it was Wei Ying… I would not be opposed.” The bees in Wei Ying’s brain scream. Not opposed??
“Not opposed??” he says weakly. Lan Zhan nods. Wei Ying’s brain is still going a million miles an hour.
What does that even mean?
“It might be relaxing for you.” Wei Ying throws his hands up in the air again, giving up.
“Sure, Lan Zhan. Tie me up. Why not.” Lan Zhan’s gaze turns more serious.
“There are things we must discuss, beforehand. I can send you the information. We will need to discuss safewords and limits.” Wei Ying chokes, mentally. He’d never thought of himself as someone who would need a safeword. Lan Zhan puts a note in his phone, presumably to email Wei Ying about safewords and limits when he gets home. He then puts his phone back in his pocket, looking at Wei Ying expectantly “Shall we finish the movie?” Wei Ying had completely forgotten about the movie but scrambles to agree, grabbing the remote and pushing play.
They soon settle back into a comfortable space, Wei Ying talking through most of the movie as he usually does and Lan Zhan making agreeable “Mn” noises or nodding at particularly salient points. By the time the movie is finished Wei Ying has completely forgotten about their conversation so he’s surely not uncomfortable at all walking Lan Zhan over to the door and wishing him a good night.
He’s hardly thinking at all about what Lan Zhan is going to email him and definitely doesn’t spend the next hour glued to his phone waiting for a notification. At precisely an hour and fifteen minutes after Lan Zhan had left Wei Ying’s apartment, he gets an email notification. It’s a collection of PDF files and a numbered list explaining what they are. Wei Ying ignores the list, choosing instead to flip through the PDFs. There’s a checklist of what appears to be different kinks, one filled in and one empty. He doesn’t linger too long on that, flipping to the next file. This is an explanation of something called the “Stoplight System” which Wei Ying finds out after skimming through the article is a kind of safeword system. The article explains what each of the colors means and goes into some detail about the advantages of this check-in system. The next several articles are an explanation of BDSM basics, etiquette, and consent best practices.
Wei Ying gets to the final file and chokes on his beer. It’s an STI panel for Lan Zhan, dated a month ago and declaring him free of STIs. Wei Ying gapes at the screen for a minute - Lan Zhan hooks up a lot if he’s getting tested every month. He resolutely pushes away any thoughts of Lan Zhan hooking up and thumbs over to his messaging app
Wei Ying
Lan Zhan??? You sent me an STI panel?? What happened to nonsexual???
Lan Zhan
It is best practice to inform all partners of your status regardless.
Wei Ying
Are you expecting one from me???
Wei Ying
Also, did you just have this whole dossier ready to go?? Do you send this to all the girls, Lan Zhan??
Lan Zhan
The checklist and STI panel are standard communication with any of my partners, yes.
Lan Zhan
And I would appreciate your test results.
Wei Ying can’t even dignify that with a response. He knows he’s inexperienced but hadn’t realized just how much until faced with Lan Zhan’s immaculately curated kink email. He thinks of telling Lan Zhan that he hasn’t had any kind of sex or gotten tested in years but chickens out. Sure he’s had a couple of handjobs and maybe given a blowjob or two but he’s never really made it a habit. It’s probably less embarrassing to just go and get tested.
Wei Ying has generally found that he doesn’t see sex with most people appealing, finding it more attractive in the abstract. Sure, he’s got a high libido but his hand and the small selection of toys in his bedside table take care of that. He’s never been the kind of person to imagine having sex with a specific person when he jerks off, sometimes just thinking of a random pairing is enough for him.
On a whim, Wei Ying tries to imagine having sex with Lan Zhan. The imagery is immediate and overwhelming. He imagines Lan Zhan running a hand down his chest, pushing his hand down Wei Ying’s joggers. He would be quick about it, Wei Ying thinks, but he’d still tease, wanting to draw it out and not letting Wei Ying come right away. Wei Ying shudders, suddenly aware that he’s at least half hard. He’s not sure how he feels about the fact that the thoughts came so quickly but surely it’s normal to fantasize about your best friend a little? They spend so much time together that it’d probably be weirder if Wei Ying couldn’t imagine what Lan Zhan was like in bed. Combine that with Lan Zhan sending him basically a sexual dossier and that would definitely explain the vivid fantasy. He wills his erection down, thinking of Lan Zhan telling him that sex is not a necessary part of kink. Surely Lan Zhan is not expecting them to have sex? He’ll just tie Wei Ying up a little, maybe slap him a couple of times and say mean things to him. His dick is, despite his best attempts, very interested in Lan Zhan being mean to him. He quickly pages away from the email and his text conversation with Lan Zhan, thumbing over to TikTok which always reliably melts his brain into a puddle of goo.
By the time he tears his eyes away from the phone, it’s pitch black outside. Wei Ying forces himself to shower and get ready for bed, resolutely not thinking about the email. He can take it a little bit at a time, surely that’s the easiest way to deal with it without giving himself a pavlovian boner response to checking his email. He folds himself into bed, suddenly exhausted, and is asleep in minutes.
-
Over the next week Wei Ying microdoses reading the PDFs Lan Zhan had sent him, starting with the general BDSM etiquette and consent-related articles. It’s nothing too shocking or risque and the consent talk is all basic stuff Wei Ying is already familiar with. The etiquette section goes off for a bit about “play parties” which Wei Ying skips, figuring that’s not really applicable to his situation. His brain does stray briefly to the thought of Lan Zhan going to “play parties” and he has to stop reading entirely for a few minutes. There’s an article about sub and dom space that he reads with interest. He really had read the articles that Wen Qing sent, at least he’d gone back and done so after his talk with Lan Zhan and they all mention this. Wei Ying has tried meditating but his brain won’t shut up most of the time so he doesn’t have high expectations for this.
Wei Ying works on the checklists in fits and starts on Wednesday evening. Lan Zhan’s is pretty much what he’d have expected if he’d given it any thought and he scans it quickly. He spends a few minutes lingering in thought, scanning up and down Lan Zhan’s list on his phone but quickly moves on to filling out the blank one Lan Zhan had sent. He chews his nails, looking at the list of sexual activities. His inexperience seems glaring here. He marks giving and receiving handjobs and blowjobs as “interested” and then goes back to chewing his pen. He’s not opposed to being fucked, in the abstract, it’s just never come up. He’s never really thought of anyone as a potential partner for doing that with. He marks every other sexual activity else that seems pretty vanilla as “interested.” Why not? He’ll try anything once and it’s not like he’s going to be having sex with Lan Zhan, anyway. Lan Zhan probably isn’t even interested in him that way, he thinks. This is just one friend helping another friend to relax.
The rest of the list he’s even less sure about if that’s possible. He eventually marks all the same things Lan Zhan had marked as “interested” and nixes anything that Lan Zhan had outright rejected. He hovers over the checkbox for impact play, eventually deciding to mark “maybe” for that one, and does the same for consent play, his face heating as he makes the marks. He’s not sure how he feels about either. The thought of Lan Zhan hitting him makes his skin break out in gooseflesh, a buzzing feeling under the surface. He takes a picture of his filled-in checklist and sends it to Lan Zhan before he can think about it too much.
He has an appointment to get tested the next day and walks out with a clean bill of health which he also sends to Lan Zhan. He’s gotten several texts from him since sending his checklist, clarifying questions about things Wei Ying had marked “interested” or “maybe.” Wei Ying considers his responses uncharacteristically carefully. They arrange for Lan Zhan to come over after lunch on Saturday. Wei Ying is nervous about seeing Lan Zhan for the first time, well, ever.. Saturday arrives much too soon and before Wei Ying knows what happened, Lan Zhan is knocking on his door, holding a six-pack of beer and carrying a messenger bag.
“For me? Lan Zhan, you really don’t have to bring something every time you come over,” he says, shoving the beer awkwardly in the refrigerator as Lan Zhan toes his shoes off and puts on Wei Ying’s ratty guest house slippers.
“Mn. I wanted to. Did you eat?” Wei Ying has actually eaten two whole meals today specifically at Lan Zhan’s request. He straightens up, looking Lan Zhan in the eye.
“Yes, did you want me to send you pictures to prove it?” he says jokingly. Lan Zhan looks thoughtfully at him, gaze hovering somewhere around Wei Ying’s collarbone.
“If you feel it would help.” he says.
Wei Ying laughs. “I was just joking, I’m not gonna bother you with pictures every time I eat something.”
“Wei Ying is not a bother. I would appreciate knowing you are eating regular meals.”
Wei Ying waves his hand dismissively. “I eat plenty, I just forget sometimes. I can catch up later in the day! We haven’t gotten to the part where you tell me what to do yet, remember?”
Lan Zhan nods. “I would like to talk to you before we get started.”
Wei Ying gestures over at the couch and they both sit down, Lan Zhan dropping his bag on the floor by his feet. “Thank you for responding to my questions about your checklist.” Wei Ying nods, not wanting to give away how much of the list he’d had to google. Luckily Lan Zhan doesn’t press him for specifics. “I wanted to start with something simple,” he continues, pulling a length of red rope out of the bag. Wei Ying’s stomach clenches at the sight and he wills himself not to be nervous. It’s just Lan Zhan, it’s nothing weird.
“Can you take your shirt off?” Lan Zhan asks. Wei Ying nods again, feeling uncharacteristically quiet. He tugs his tee over his head and throws it at the end of the couch. Lan Zhan looks askance at the carelessness but doesn’t say anything. “I am going to tie your arms behind your back, is that alright?”
Wei Ying swallows and says “Yeah.” His mouth is very dry.
Wei Ying lets Lan Zhan manhandle him so they are chest to back on the couch and he brings Wei Ying’s wrists together at the small of his back. He loops the red cord around them and in a few swift motions has them tied together. Wei Ying obviously can’t see what he’s doing but he can feel the motions; the cord next loops around his forearms just below the elbow, binding them together and forcing his shoulders out. The next loop goes around his bicep and then the cord loops over and around his shoulders and under his arms in a harness. Lan Zhan finishes whatever it is he does with the ends and checks the whole thing for tightness, slipping two fingers in between Wei Ying’s skin and the loops. Wei Ying shivers at the contact and tries to remember to keep breathing. It’s not like this is totally out of the realm of things he’d considered or even imagined in the week leading up to this, it’s simply that the reality is more overwhelming than he could have thought - the cord biting into his skin, Lan Zhan’s hands warm and calloused where they rub against his skin. He wants to make a joke and crack the tension like an egg, but his throat works around the words and they don’t come out. Lan Zhan, seemingly satisfied with the harness, turns Wei Ying around again and eases him off the couch.
“Color?” he asks.
Wei Ying remembers this bit. He swallows and says “Green. Definitely green.”
“On your knees. Facing me.” Wei Ying hurriedly complies. The rope pushes his chest and shoulders out and keeps his back straight. He looks up at Lan Zhan expectantly, waiting for what comes next. Lan Zhan tangles his fingers in Wei Ying’s hair, not pulling, just… petting. Soothingly. “You will hold this position until I say it is time to stop. Keep your back straight.” Wei Ying straightens his back, feeling the give of his muscles under where his hands are bound behind him. He wants to be good for Lan Zhan, even if he doesn’t know how sitting here tied up is supposed to help. His thoughts are a cacophony, bouncing around inside his skull.
Lan Zhan pulls a book from his bag with his other hand and flicks it open, holding it with one hand, the other still gently caressing Wei Ying’s scalp. It’s nice. Lan Zhan obviously is not inclined to give him any more instruction, so Wei Ying drifts. The cord cutting into his skin feels good; he likes the way it moves him and places him in the position where Lan Zhan wants him. The constriction is like a heavy blanket over his torso and Lan Zhan’s hand in his hair grounds him. He doesn’t know how much time passes, after a few minutes the cacophony of competing thoughts in his head slows down to a steady stream, nothing he can really focus on.
He leans into Lan Zhan’s hand and feels his shoulders slump, slightly. All of a sudden the hand in his hair grabs, pulling the strands into Lan Zhan’s fist. He tenses, hissing, the pain focusing his senses sharply on his skull. “Keep your back straight.” Lan Zhan reminds him, grabbing his fistful of hair taut in his hand. Wei Ying straightens up as best he can with Lan Zhan pulling up on his head and Lan Zhan apparently deems it a success as his hand goes gentle again, soothing where it had pulled at Wei Ying’s scalp.
He checks in again with Wei Ying, who clears his throat and confirms that he is still very much green.
Wei Ying has no idea how much time passes before Lan Zhan lets him know they’re done, easing his hand out of Wei Ying’s hair and onto his shoulder and reaching over to help him back onto the couch. He does know that he loses his posture twice more in the intervening time, Lan Zhan’s hand going sharp in his hair each time. He’s focused on the ache in his shoulders and arms, the feeling of the hard floor against his knees. He’s not aroused by it, really, even by the feeling of the rope cutting into his skin. He feels both detached from his body and intensely aware of it, pinpoints of focus spread from the tip of his head to the base of his knees.
By the time Lan Zhan says they’re done he feels a little floaty, thoughts sluggishly moving through his head as if he’s underwater. It takes him a few seconds to blink back into reality when Lan Zhan hoists him up onto the couch, checking in with a “Wei Ying?”
“Mm, Lan Zhan, I’m fine. Can you?” he says, straining his arms against the cord demonstratively.
Lan Zhan nods and turns him around to begin untying the harness. After he finishes and ties the rope back into a hank he pulls a tube out of the bag and begins applying what feels like aloe vera to the red marks the rope rubbed into Wei Ying’s skin.
Wei Ying stretches his arms and shoulders out as Lan Zhan finishes with them. He fishes his shirt out of the couch and pulls it back on, turning to face Lan Zhan who has a bottle of water in one hand and a snickers bar in the other. The articles had talked about this - aftercare. Wei Ying hadn’t really expected anything but he gratefully takes the water and the candy, tucking himself up against Lan Zhan’s side and taking a long sip.
“How do you feel?” Lan Zhan asks, winding his arm around Wei YIng. They’ve sat like this on the couch before and in a myriad of other ways where they were touching but this seems different, somehow. Wei Ying shuffles closer to Lan Zhan.
He doesn’t want their friendship to change - he likes to think that Lan Zhan would do this for any of his friends. What’s a bit of platonic domming among friends, anyway? He tries not to think about Lan Zhan doing this with any of their other friends and takes a bite of the chocolate bar before answering.
“Good.” he decides. “I feel good. Kinda… floaty.”
Lan Zhan nods. “That is normal,” he says. Wei Ying casts his mind back to the billion articles Lan Zhan had sent him. One of them had talked about subspace and Wei Ying doesn’t really feel like that’s really the right word for what he’s feeling, what he did hardly qualifies as kink, anyway, Wei Ying thinks. He twists his head so he’s looking up at Lan Zhan. “I think I’d like to try again?” Lan Zhan flushes, the tips of his ears tinged pink. “I would also like to try again, with Wei Ying.” Wei Ying sighs contentedly, taking another bite out of the chocolate bar.
This is okay. This is normal. This is not going to affect their friendship.
-
Wei Ying is wrong. Oh, it starts off innocently enough; Wei Ying herded Lan Zhan out of his apartment after they’d sat on the couch for a while, Wei Ying eventually turning on the TV for some background noise. Lan Zhan assures him that he’d enjoyed the afternoon and Wei Ying feels content and pleased.
That’s how it begins.
When Wei Ying wakes up achingly hard the next morning, the vague impression of large hands and a soft pink mouth in his brain he thinks nothing of it, jerking off mechanically before his brain even fully wakes up and hopping in the shower to clean himself off.
When it happens the third time that week, each day with a more lingering impression of who Wei Ying is starting to think might be Lan Zhan, he starts to worry.
But this is totally normal, right? I mean they did something sexual together, kinda, in a way, even if it really wasn’t. It’s totally reasonable for him to be having sex dreams about Lan Zhan. It probably doesn’t mean anything, just his stupid horny brain attaching to the last attractive person he’d been close to. But it doesn’t stop. By the weekend Wei Ying is maybe somewhat fixated on it, jerking off on Friday night to an image of Lan Zhan pinning his arms above his head and shoving a thigh between Wei Ying's legs.
By the middle of the week he thinks things may have gotten slightly out of hand as he opens his text conversation with Lan Zhan and sips what might be his third beer of the night. He needs it, okay? Work has been hell. Lan Zhan has been texting him as usual all week, painfully normal, trading stories about work and Lan Zhan sending him pictures of his rabbits. Wei Ying has so far managed to avoid saying anything super weird or friendship ruining like “I dreamt about you fucking me every night this week.” He starts and stops the text four times, writing and deleting words over and over. Finally, he decides on this:
Wei Ying
up for a repeat of saturday?
The reply comes almost instantaneously.
Lan Zhan
Yes.
Wei Ying
I was thinking we could do uh
Wei Ying
more
Lan Zhan
What did you have in mind?
He panics, a little. This is where it could all go off the rails. Wei Ying has never done this, his sexual experience is limited to picking up a couple of guys at bars and hooking up with girls off tinder. Friends with benefits is a thing, right? Although, he thinks, he really already gets a lot of “benefits” from being Lan Zhan’s friend, so maybe they should call it something else. Wei Ying attempts to steer his thoughts back on track.
Wei Ying
When we were talking abt it before
Wei Ying
U said that if it was me
Wei Ying
U would be okay with more
Lan Zhan
Wei Ying, I need you to say what you mean by “more”
Wei Ying
Idk like something
Wei Ying
Sexy
Lan Zhan
You are interested in incorporating sex into a scene?
Wei Ying
Lan Zhan!! You can’t just lay it out there like that!! Like idk not sex sex.
Wei Ying
Just something
Lan Zhan
What specifically are you interested in?
Wei Ying
Idk lan zhan can you surprise me? I don’t wanna know what you’re gonna do
Lan Zhan
Will you be honest with me when I check in?
Wei Ying
Yeah just. I don’t wanna think about it.
Lan Zhan
Are you free tomorrow?
Wei Ying checks his calendar somewhat unnecessarily. He is free tomorrow, he has dinner with his siblings tonight but nothing is planned for tomorrow at all.
Wei Ying
Yeah.
Wei Ying
What time?
Lan Zhan
I will be there at 4PM.
Wei Ying
ok
Wei Ying
See you then lan zhan
-
Wei Ying’s brain speeds through the rest of Saturday and Sunday like he’s set it to fast forward. He barely remembers what he does for the first half of Sunday, aimlessly loafing around his apartment with ever-increasing cups of coffee and his phone. At precisely 3:55PM, there’s a knock on his door and he lets Lan Zhan in, watching him toe off his shoes in the entryway.
There’s a nervous thrum of energy beneath Wei Ying’s skin - now that he has some idea what to expect, he finds he’s excited. There’s a low ache of arousal in his belly that has been simmering since roughly midnight on Saturday and he’s jerked off once already this morning to take the edge off. He makes some tea for Lan Zhan and they stand somewhat awkwardly in the kitchen while the water boils. Wei Ying hates this part, and hates feeling awkward around Lan Zhan. He shakes himself mentally, trying to sink into the comfortable feeling he usually has when he's with Lan Zhan"
Lan Zhan accepts the tea graciously even though Wei Ying knows he’s oversteeped it. Wei Ying lets his mind go blank, rambling on about dinner with his siblings last night as Lan Zhan peacefully sips his tea. When he takes a breath to continue a story about how Jiang Cheng’s work at the animal shelter is going, Lan Zhan interrupts him.
“Wei Ying”. those two words jolt Wei Ying back into his brain with a barely visible wince.
“Ah, Lan Zhan, sorry, I kinda got carried away.”
“Wei Ying. We do not have to do anything you do not want.”
Wei Ying thrums his fingers against the counter nervously. He does want. It’s weird to feel this way about sex - it’s just sex! When he’d met Lan Zhan in high school he was shameless, flirting with everything that moved and cracking dirty jokes that made Lan Zhan’s lip curl. It’s different, he thinks, when it’s serious. He cares about Lan Zhan and cares about this relationship in a way that he hasn’t with anyone before. Lan Zhan is his best friend and what if this changes everything? He reminds himself of the words “friends with benefits” and responds.
“No, I’m sure. I want to.” Lan Zhan’s eyebrow moves incrementally up his forehead but he says nothing, taking his half finished tea and the telltale messenger bag over to the couch. Wei Ying follows him.
“Are you going to tie me up again?” he asks curiously.
“I thought you wanted to be surprised.” Lan Zhan says smoothly, sitting down but not taking anything out of the bag. Wei Ying had forgotten he’d said that but now that he thinks about it he really does - the thrill of placing all his trust in Lan Zhan is heady and he sits down heavily on the couch, their thighs and knees knocking together. Lan Zhan’s skin is warm through his clothes where his leg presses up against Wei Ying and he shivers.
Lan Zhan places a huge, warm hand on Wei Ying’s waist, touching his skin just barely where his tee-shirt has ridden up. “Let me know if I do anything you do not like. I will check in.” Wei Ying nods, words caught in his throat again, and Lan Zhan moves him so he’s facing Lan Zhan on the couch, rucking his shirt up his chest until Lan Zhan’s thumb grazes his nipple.
Wei Ying itches to reach down and pull the shirt clean off - this feels so much more intimate than anything they’ve done before, just the feeling of Lan Zhan’s fingers on his chest. Lan Zhan rubs his thumb absently over Wei Ying’s nipple a few times before tugging at the hem of the shirt “Off.” he says.
Wei Ying yanks the shirt off like his life depends on it and Lan Zhan is bending over reaching to pull something out of his bag. When he straightens up he has two pristine white leather cuffs in his hand, a D-ring attached to the front of each one. He takes Wei Ying’s arms in his hand one by one and straps him into the cuffs. They are soft where they enclose his wrist and once they’re on Lan Zhan gently encourages him to turn around, clipping the d-rings together behind his back.
“You like having my hands behind my back, huh?” Lan Zhan makes a murmured noise of assent, turning Wei Ying back around and easing him onto his knees again. Wei Ying wants to make a crack about the repeated position but his face is suddenly alarmingly close to Lan Zhan’s soft linen pants and it’s impossible to avoid noticing the bulge tenting the front.
Wei Ying’s mouth is dry. “Just from the cuffs, really?” Lan Zhan lets out a huff that could be generously interpreted as a laugh. Wei Ying can feel his own arousal growing, he can’t get leverage for friction in this position and he spreads his knees a bit wider to try.
“Color?” Lan Zhan says.
Wei Ying licks his lips and replies “Green. So green.” This is what he wanted, the precipice of the unknown. He knows he’s not helpless, knows he could resist if he wanted, but the knowledge that he’s restrained, set here for Lan Zhan to use as he pleases, zaps up his spine. He licks his lips again.
“Snap your fingers if you need to stop.” Lan Zhan says, bizarrely.
“What are you going to - “ before he can get the words out, Lan Zhan is reaching down to slide his loose pants off, freeing his cock. Saliva pools under Wei Ying’s tongue. Lan Zhan is big and he’s not wearing underwear. How had Wei Ying never noticed that Lan Zhan was packing something like that? Now that everything’s out in the open, Wei Ying is pretty sure that Lan Zhan isn’t all the way hard yet which is somewhat alarming. Lan Zhan scoots forward slightly, bringing his cock closer to Wei Ying’s face. Wei Ying can feel Lan Zhan’s foot moving to press against the front of his joggers - a barely-there pressure that still has his hips jerking forward to chase it. Lan Zhan tangles his fingers in Wei Ying’s hair and pulls him forward, smearing the head of his cock on Wei Ying’s lips.
“Suck.” he says, punctuating the word with a press of his foot. This is totally cool. Wei Ying has given blow jobs before sure, only like twice but he knows the general theory. Neither of the guys he’d been with before had come close to Lan Zhan’s size and he pushes aside worries about how the hell he’s going to fit that all in his mouth.
He reaches out with his tongue, giving the head an experimental lick. The grip in his hair tightens minutely and he shudders. He is suddenly, achingly hard and aware of where Lan Zhan’s foot is pressing up against his cock. Wei Ying hesitates for a moment and Lan Zhan’s hand in his hair twitches him forward, the pressure from his foot lifting slightly. Wei Ying takes the encouragement for what it is and slowly sucks just the head of Lan Zhan’s cock into his mouth. It’s already so much, the taste salty and bitter and smooth and velvet.
The pressure on his cock increases and he jerks his hips forward, moaning. The hand in his hair pulls him farther down and he hollows his cheeks as best he can, swiping his tongue over the thick vein on the underside of Lan Zhan’s cock. The grip on his hair loosens slightly, just enough to allow him to pull back and bob his mouth up and down. He’s still only approaching halfway down and he wishes he could pull his hand up to help, his fingers twitching against his back and his arms flexing against the cuffs.
The pressure against his dick hasn’t abated, a steady press against his straining cock and he tries to push his hips up into the sensation from his position on his knees. Lan Zhan gives him a few minutes of this before tightening his grip and easing Wei Ying down, the head of his cock nudging at Wei Ying’s soft palate. He gags and pulls back against the hand in his hair sharply. Lan Zhan relaxes his grip and Wei Ying pulls off, coughing.
Lan Zhan cups the side of Wei Ying’s face with his other hand and swipes away the tears gathering under his eyes. “Color?” he says roughly, like an insane person, like Wei Ying is going to be able to respond in any way. He just nods and Lan Zhan seems to think this is enough as he’s pulling Wei Ying back onto his cock again.
This time Wei Ying is determined, breathing deliberately through his nose and relaxing his jaw and throat. Wei Ying lets himself get lost in the sensation, the ache in his jaw, the smell of sex and musk and something indescribably Lan Zhan. When Lan Zhan pushes against the back of his throat again he swallows once, twice, air hissing through his nose before Lan Zhan eases him back up again.
Wei Ying moans and his mind goes blank as Lan Zhan drags his head back and forth on his cock, the slick slide of skin on his tongue and the weight of the leather cuffs at his back the only sensations he can focus on. Dimly he knows Lan Zhan’s foot is still pressing up against where he’s hard in his sweatpants but even that urgency takes a backseat as Lan Zhan slowly fucks his face, drool sliding down his chin to pool on the floor. Lan Zhan hasn’t let go of the side of his face and he gently runs his fingers along the hinge of Wei Ying’s jaw where he’s open and straining.
Lan Zhan soon abandons pulling on Wei Ying’s hair entirely, holding him still and jerking his hips up and into Wei Ying’s mouth. His thrusts get faster and more erratic, Wei Ying moans at the sensation of Lan Zhan filling him, pinning him in place. Suddenly the hand in his hair pulls sharply and Lan Zhan’s cock pops out of his mouth, the hand in his hair moving to jerk himself off as he comes over Wei Ying’s lips and chin. The hand on the side of his face smooths over his lips, pushing into Wei Ying’s slack mouth. He sucks on the digit, feeling the calloused pad of Lan Zhan’s finger where it presses up against his tongue. It suddenly seems bizarre that he has never kissed Lan Zhan and he abruptly wants that more than anything, wants to surge up and press his tongue into Lan Zhan’s mouth.
His hips jerk up and against the press of Lan Zhan’s foot and he moans again, embarrassingly loud. Lan Zhan keeps the pressure tight against his cock, almost painful. He pushes down on Wei Ying’s tongue with his thumb and Wei Ying keens, jerking his hips up once, twice against Lan Zhan’s foot before he’s coming with a rush, arms going taut against the cuffs and his hips mindlessly twitching against where Lan Zhan is grinding his foot.
Wei Ying goes limp and boneless as he lets Lan Zhan, pants firmly pulled back up, haul him up onto the couch. He’s never going to be able to sit on this couch without popping a boner - so much for eliminating pavlovian reactions. Lan Zhan undoes the cuffs and Wei Ying stretches his arms out in front of him, popping his shoulder joint loudly. He’s trying hard not to think about the mess in his pants but it’s starting to get uncomfortably sticky. Lan Zhan reaches down to his bag, keeping a hand firmly on Wei Ying’s thigh. He pulls out a packet of wet wipes - honestly, Lan Zhan should have been a boy scout, if boy scouts weren’t awful and homophobic, he’s always prepared. Lan Zhan wipes the come off of Wei Ying’s face carefully and then quickly gets up and deposits the wipe in the trash, leaving Wei Ying’s side for only a second.
Lan Zhan replaces the hand on Wei Ying’s side and gently squeezes.. “Would you like to change?” he says and boy would Wei Ying ever. He had kind of been expecting Lan Zhan to feed and snuggle him again but as he shifts he decides that clean pants are worth the sacrifice and he climbs shakily to his feet. “Yeah, I’ll go - you can just, leave? If you want?” Lan Zhan rises from the couch and his hand finds its way back to Wei Ying’s hip.
He shakes his head. “I will come with you. I have -” he gestures down at the bag. “For you. If that’s alright.” That is more than alright and Wei Ying nods. Lan Zhan picks up the bag which presumably contains something not quite as portable as a snickers bar and follows Wei Ying to his room.
Lan Zhan has been in here before several times, of course, but Wei Ying usually tries to clean up a little if he knows they’re going to be in here which he has. Not this time. He scrambles to pick up the clothes that are spread over his bed, muttering an apology as he does it but Lan Zhan’s hand moves to his wrist, squeezing lightly and stopping him in his tracks.
“Wei Ying. It is fine.” as if to demonstrate Lan Zhan sits down on the edge of the bed, dropping his bag to the floor and still not letting go of Wei Ying’s wrist.
“Sorry,” Wei Ying can’t help but say, even though he earns a reproachful look from Lan Zhan at his apology, “I can say that! I know you don’t like a mess.” Lan Zhan gets a look on his face even as he lets Wei Ying’s wrist go and Wei Ying hurriedly turns away.
Lan Zhan had said it was fine and Wei Ying knows he doesn’t like to repeat himself but there's still a crawling feeling under his skin at the sight of Lan Zhan, perfect and pristine in his wild bedroom, put together even after what was almost certainly an extremely messy blowjob. Wei Ying’s spit is still all over his dick . He has to look down at the carpet, his face flushing at the thought.
He strips off his jeans and underwear mechanically, throwing them in his hamper and wincing when the jeans hit the edge. He’s not thinking about being naked in front of Lan Zhan, who has not looked away. Sure, he’s been naked in front of Lan Zhan before, he’s thrown on clothes while Lan Zhan was in his room but this is different, somehow. Wei Ying’s mind chants friends with benefits as he grabs clean underwear and a pair of pajama pants, yanking them on and then turning towards Lan Zhan who is now rummaging in his bag, pulling out a container of what looks like cut fruits and another water bottle.
“Lan Zhan,” he says, hands on his hips, “Single-use plastics again?” Lan Zhan’s lip twitches into a smile. “I want to make sure Wei Ying drinks water.” he says, as if that explains anything, “I will recycle it.”
Wei Ying crashes on the bed next to him, scooting back until his back hits the wall behind him. Lan Zhan joins him, moving up the bed in a manner that is unfairly graceful and controlled. Wei Ying grins at Lan Zhan when they’re both leaned up against the wall. “Next you’ll be letting the water run while you brush, it’s a slippery slope, Lan Zhan!”
Lan Zhan has apparently retrieved an entire fork from… somewhere and has a piece of cut pineapple speared on the end and he passes the bottled water to Wei Ying with his other hand. Wei Ying thanks him and takes a long sip. Water is good, he thinks, and Lan Zhan’s right, he probably wouldn’t have drank any without the convenience of the bottle. Still, a reusable bottle wouldn’t hurt and he tells Lan Zhan as much. Lan Zhan, inexplicably flushes, his ears turning a rosy shade of pink.
“I have one,” he admits, “I did not want you to think I was being… presumptuous.” The cogs in Wei Ying’s brain turn and he smiles broadly with the sudden realization.
“Lan Zhan! Did you buy a specific water bottle to bring when you tie me up? That’s so sweet! I want to see it, you have to bring it next time.” It’s only once the words are out of his mouth that Wei Ying realizes he’s committed to there being a next time. Lan Zhan holds out the pineapple, shaking Wei Ying out of his thoughts. He eats gratefully, even if he is a little embarrassed at Lan Zhan feeding him. Not embarrassed enough to stop, he thinks, as Lan Zhan spears a chunk of melon and holds it out to him.
After he’s eaten a few pieces, Lan Zhan sets down the fork and fixes him with an intense stare. “You did not go under this time.” Ah, he’d noticed. Wei Ying winces slightly, he should have acted more out of it when Lan Zhan was cleaning him up. Truth be told he hadn’t gone under this time, there’s no trace of the floaty disconnected feeling that quiets his brain. He feels good but it’s the boneless sort of good that comes from a great orgasm. He’d forgotten that Lan Zhan was only helping him with this because it’s supposedly good for him.
“It doesn’t matter!” He deflects quickly. “I had a great time! Did… you had a good time, right?” he asks tentatively. If Lan Zhan hadn’t enjoyed himself, if Wei Ying had ruined the whole thing… he’s not sure he’ll be able to handle it. Lan Zhan immediately responds though, covering Wei Ying’s hand with his own and looking him directly in the eye. “I had a wonderful time, Wei Ying, but you did not get out of it what you needed. I should have –.”
“You were great! Honestly, Lan Zhan, you were so great, I mean who knows what’s even going on up here,” he gestures at his head. Lan Zhan gives him a pointed look at the self-depreciation but nods.
“I will plan better next time,” he says gravely and Wei Ying bursts into laughter.
“Lan Zhan! You say that so seriously! Isn’t this supposed to be fun?” he says.
“Mn.” says Lan Zhan, “it is important to take the comfort of one’s partner seriously.” That just sets off another round of giggles.
“I was very comfortable, I swear , Lan Zhan. You don’t need to worry about me.” Lan Zhan shoots him a look that says he very much will worry about him but Wei Ying waves him off.
They sit like this for a while, Lan Zhan slowly feeding Wei Ying fruit as his arm curls around Wei Ying’s hips and draws him closer. Wei Ying arches his eyebrow at the contact and Lan Zhan gives him a look and says nothing. Wei Ying allows himself to melt into Lan Zhan’s side, letting his mind drift as he rambles to Lan Zhan about everything and nothing in particular, eating slowly. It feels important, somehow, to stretch this moment out.
Eventually, the container is empty and well, Wei Ying had realized that Lan Zhan would have to leave eventually but that doesn’t mean he has to like it. He tucks himself closer into Lan Zhan’s side grumpily. “I can stay.” Lan Zhan offers, but Wei Ying shakes his head, nose bumping into Lan Zhan’s shoulder.
“I’m being clingy,” he says, “You should go, it’s not like you can stay here forever!”
Lan Zhan seemingly hesitates for a minute, hand twitching where it is cupping Wei Ying’s hip. “No.” He finally says and reluctantly unwinds them, swinging his legs off the bed and going to retrieve his messenger bag. Wei Ying should probably. Get up. See him out, or something.
He moves as if to get off the bed and Lan Zhan stops him with a hand on his ankle. “You should stay,” he says, eyes determinedly not looking at Wei Ying’s face. Wei Ying flushes. God, he hopes Lan Zhan isn’t regretting this.
Lan Zhan packs up his empty containers and swings the messenger bag over his shoulder, letting Wei Ying know that he will text him later that evening to make sure he’s still all right. Wei Ying doesn’t know how to tell him not to worry and by now he knows that Lan Zhan will just ignore him and text anyway no matter what he says so he nods and says “Thanks,” awkwardly. What is the protocol for this, anyway? Wei Ying has no idea, none of his past sexual encounters had gotten this far, and none of them had been in his own apartment , for starters.
Lan Zhan leaves and Wei Ying tilts his head back against the wall and digs in his pockets for his phone before realizing he left it in the kitchen what seems like an age ago.
He reluctantly gets up and slouches into the kitchen, giving the couch a wide berth. His phone is on the kitchen counter where he’d left it and he picks it up and texts Wen Qing
Wei Ying
Sooooooo
Wei Ying
I might have done what you suggested.
Qing-jie
?????
Qing-jie
When do you ever do what I suggest
Qing-jie
I don’t even know what you’re talking about
Wei Ying
With Lan Zhan!!! You sent me all those stupid articles
Qing-jie
Oh my god
Qing-jie
You actually made a move on Lan Zhan???
Wei Ying
No!!! Not like that, you weirdo, he’s just doing me a favor
Wei Ying
Turns out you were right about him
Qing-jie
Sure, he’s just platonically domming you
Qing-jie
I believe that
Qing-jie
Have you 2 fucked yet?
Wei Ying
Why would you even ask that????
Qing-jie
You wouldn’t be texting if you hadn’t
Wei Ying
Nobody was fucking anybody!!
Qing-jie
But you have seen his dick
Wei Ying
MAYBE
Qing-jie
You definitely have
Wei Ying
Ok so I might have seen his dick qingqing you wouldn't BELIEVE it omg
Qing-jie
I don't want to know.
Qing-jie
now you’re having a crisis?
Wei Ying
I am not!!!
Qing-jie
Then why are you texting me
Wei Ying
I thought you’d want to know I took your advice for once!
Qing-jie
Wei Ying
Qing-jie
I’m going to say this as nicely as possible
Qing-jie
I gave you that advice hoping it would get your head out of your asshole with regards to Lan Zhan
Qing-jie
And maybe sort out some of your millions of mental problems at the same time
Wei Ying
Mean, qing-jie. :(
Qing-jie
I’m not wrong and you know it.
Wei Ying
It kinda worked the first time idk
Wei Ying
And I do not have my head in my asshole!
Qing-jie
So you and Lan Zhan are just fwb?
Wei Ying
Yes!! That’s a normal thing normal people do!
Qing-jie
Sure.
Qing-jie
That doesn’t sound like a rationalization at all.
Wei Ying
It’s not!!
Qing-jie
Look, I know you. I didn’t want this to make it worse. Lan Zhan cares about you, it’s obvious.
Qing-jie
Just talk to him.
Wei Ying ignores her, putting his phone down on the counter. He knows Lan Zhan cares about him, he does . But they’re just friends. He might have had a crush on Lan Zhan ages ago, when they first met, but now? Now they’re just friends, the kind of friends who occasionally see each other naked and maybe give one another blowjobs sometimes. And Lan Zhan likes to tie him up and tell him what to do. Wei Ying Isn't going to get the wires crossed in his brain. Maybe he needs a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. He’d tried dating in the past but it felt like everyone bored him; a constant string of first dates that ended with unanswered texts and those awkward people on Facebook that you’ve friended once and then never interacted with again.
Wei Ying remembers to put his phone in the pocket of his pajama pants and eyes the couch warily. They’re going to have to have a truce if he’s going to watch television. He sits pointedly on the opposite end of the couch from earlier and flips the TV on, settling on some trashy reality show. He’ll talk to Lan Zhan eventually, he thinks. He doesn’t have to do everything Wen Qing says. They’ll be fine.