Work Text:
Denial
Dazai looked at the pile of lifeless bodies, broken swords and guns surrounding them. As a port mafia executive it is his duty to lead the clean up after wars so he was used to this
He looked at the scene with an empty look, he kept wandering with the same look until he saw a six petaled white flower standing at a few distance
He was confused, how can the flower still be white even after the bloody battle? He memorized all of his allies’ abilities and none of them has a flower related ability. An opponent's ability maybe?
Dazai ordered the other mafioso's to take away the dead bodies, he then warily closed the distance between him and the flower, it smelled like cherries
He leaned closer and touched the flower. He found not even a drop of blood on the flower, well at least not until the thorns of the the flower pricked his index finger
Dazai looked at his blood trickling down the flower and onto the ground. Is this poison? If so then he hoped that it kills him painlessly
Before he can further imagine his death, one petal of the flower turned completely red
Dazai might be a genius to the point where it can amaze even Mori himself and is even considered as a demon prodigy but right now, he has absolutely no idea what was going on
Curiosity took over him when he couldn't come up with a reason as to why that happened to the petal, he picked up it up and held delicately, careful as to not damage the flower
A few more hours and they finished cleaning up. He went straight to his apartment not even bothering to notify Mori that he completed the mission already
He walked to his room and put the flower in a vase filled with water then his research began
He looked into a lot of books, trying to find information about the six petalled white flower
He pulled an all-nighter for this but atlast, he finally found what he was looking for
Flosare
The flosare, also known as the love flower has six petals, it's as pale as snow, it smelled like cherries and has a lot of thorns on it's body
The thorns of the flower will prick the first person that touched it, if the said person was romantically inlove then one of the petals will turn red and if not, then the flower will wilt
The red on the petal indicates love and the remaining five petals are the five stages of love which are represented by colors which are: Denial-orange, Acceptance-yellow, fear-green, contentedness-blue, and greed-purple
The flosare is known to only bloom once every century at a blood moon and ironically, in a place full of hatred
Dazai’s brain was filled with many many questions, his mouth forming an ‘o’ shape. One of the petals of his flosare turned red but everyone (himself included) knew that he was incapable with such emotions
Tiredness consumed him and soon he immediately fell asleep, not leaving any room for his confused thoughts
___________________
The flosare soon was forgotten. Dazai figured that the flower would only get in the way of his job so he decided to forget the flower therefore hiding it from his sight
He acted like the newfound information didn't bother him at all but all his efforts went down the drain when he saw a certain redhead
His heart beats a little faster than before-
Wait. Is Chuuya the one who he’s in love with? No that’s impossible it’s only been like 6 months since they’ve met
Dazai pushed the horrid thought of him liking the slug and approached the said redhead with excitement “ Hey chuuya~ ” He sing-songed, already anticipating the annoyed expression of the latter
“ What? ” He deadpanned but they both knew that Chuuya was getting annoyed already
“ Are you busy? ” Chuuya looked at him with a surprised face as if he’s thinking if someone like him is actually capable of asking something so normal. To be fair, he himself was quite surprise at the words that came out of his own mouth
“ No, why? ” Asked Chuuya
“ Want to go to a ramen shop? I wanted to go with Odasaku and Ango but they said that they’re not available ” He only said half the truth, he didn’t ask them because he already knew that they’re not available, they’re must be on a date or something
Chuuya gave him a skeptical look but agreed anyway
_____________
" Thank you " Chuuya mumbled, much too inaudible for Dazai to hear
" Hmm what was that chibi? " Chuuya took a deep breath trying not to punch Dazai because of the nickname
" I said thank you, you idiot! " Chuuya said a little louder than necessary
Dazai scoffed " Have you never been treated by anyone else before? " He was half expecting for Chuuya to say 'Fuck you, I have a lot of friends that can treat me'
" Yeah " Before Dazai can tease him, Chuuya already decided to change the topic " As a thank you for the ramen, I wanted to take you somewhere " He added
" Ohhh, is Chuuya taking me on a date? " Shit, why did he say that? It was him who started it first by taking Chuuya to the ramen shop so it was the other way around
Chuuya sighed, just when he thought Dazai could act like a normal person, he says that kinda bullshit " Fuck you, Im just being kind person unlike you, asshole " He smiled smugly, forgetting the fact that he's a mafioso that literally kills people
__________
Dazai looked at the pink death vehicle standing before him, he watched as Chuuya took an equally pink helmet and gave it to him " Put that and Hop on " He said
Dazai only stared at the helmet and the death vehicle in disgust " Eww, I'm not hoping on there "
" Would you like it better if I run you over with this instead? " Chuuya asked pointing at his motorcycle
" Yes please "
Chuuya groaned " Will you please just cut your bullshit and just hop on the fucking motorcycle? And you should feel special, I rarely use this because I don't want it to get damaged "
Dazai definetly does not feel a little special but he still hesitantly put on the helmet and hopped on the motorcycle
" Grab onto me if you don't want to fly away " At first, Dazai did not listen to Chuuya's request but his hands soon attached themselves onto Chuuya's waist
Dazai felt Chuuya's warmth comfortingly seep into him and ease his shivers, rogue strands of auburn hair tickling his face as they rode
He unconsciously smelled Chuuya's hair it smelled like cherries reminding him of the flosare that he badly wanted to forget about
Dazai's cheeks are painted red from the air whooshing past them -or maybe because he's basically hugging Chuuya-
After a while, they finally reached their destination
It was an ocean, Chuuya took them to the ocean
" Can you hear the waves, mackerel? " Chuuya said with an uncharacteristically soft tone which makes Dazai heart take a leap- No no no he was definitely not affected, nope not at all
" Yeah " He answered calmly, in contrast to how he's feeling on the inside
" It's calming isn't it? "
" I guess "
" When I have time, I go here to watch the sunset and listen to the waves. I like the tranquility of the ocean " Chuuya turns to Dazai with a smile " Don't you think so too? "
Chuuya's eyes are like the ocean, his hair reminds him of the sunset, his barely visible freckles remind him of the barely visible stars that are forming in the orange sky, and his voice is just as calming as the ocean in front of them. Beautiful the ocean that is (That's what he convinced himself with)
" Yeah, I think it's beautiful… " Dazai finally said, unable to tear his gaze away from chuuya
They continued to watch the sunset and listen to the calming sounds of the waves before it got interrupted by a phone call from Mori, notifying them that they have a new mission. What a party pooper
_________
Dazai lied in his bed, staring at the ceiling
Chuuya . That's all he can think about. Chuuya's smile, his gaze, his deep blue eyes that can drown someone if they stare for too long, his voice, his scent, everything about him
Is he really in love with him? No, no, that's impossible
His thoughts were interrupted when he saw something in his closet glow. He already has a faint idea of what it could be
He opened the closet and saw the flosare hidden in a pile of clothes. Although it's completely covered, the glow that the flower is emitting is very much visible
When the glow disappeared, the orange entirely covered one of the petals. Denial
No fucking way
Acceptance
Dazai clutched at his chest trying to even out his breathing. He's having a panic attack again
He's drowning in his own thoughts. He gasped for air but he still couldn't breath, it was suffocating
He quickly grabbed his phone and called a random contact
" Why the fuck are you calling me at 2 am!? " A familiar voice whisper yelled
He so badly wanted to speak but no words came out, all he can do is gasped for air
" Dazai? " The person on the other line waited for a few seconds before turning off the call
Just as he was about to pass out, he heard a loud bang outside his room, then he saw a boy with sunset colored hair and an ocean blue eyes emerging from the darkness and running towards him, it was Chuuya
" Dazai, can you hear me? " Chuuya asked in a panic, to which he responded with a nod
" That's good, now I want you to follow my breathing, okay? " He nods again, following the latter's steady breathing
He soon calmed down, he was ready to see a pitiful yet curious look in Chuuya’s eyes so he was more than surprised when Chuuya wrapped his arms around him but instead of feeling tensed, he only felt relaxed, He leaned in to the warmth that is Chuuya
He felt as though this chibi red-headed slug can protect him from the dangers of the cold and harsh world
He was shocked when he heard Chuuya sing him a lullaby, it was comforting. The weight of the world seems to remove itself from Dazai's shoulders
He was happy and safe here in Chuuya's arms and he wishes that they can stay like this forever
The next day arrives and Dazai finds himself in the comfort of his own bed.
He denied the disappointment that bubbles from his stomach when he saw no Chuuya in his apartment
He found curry on his tabletop with a note beside it. Just pre-heat it when you're ready to eat
It feels good to have someone care for you, especially if you live in the mafia world where love and care is not a normal thing to have
Dazai pre-heated and ate the curry with a smile on his face
__________
This wasn't supposed to happen
They just got a mission to capture Madeline Miller, a weapon of an enemy organization and a second later, Dazai was lying on the floor with blood streaming down his face
" DAZAI! " He heard Chuuya scream in the distance
He didn't expect this to happen. He didn't let his guard down even for one second, seeing as they didn't exactly know the abilities of the girl
She whistled, Dazai heard her whistle and a monster suddenly appeared, hit him then disappeared as quickly as it appeared
" Abilities of any kind shouldn't be able to touch me , I think whatever the fuck that was wasn't an ability. Any tricks up your sleeve, chibi? " Dazai forced himself to say, he's not used to leaving the thinking to anyone- especially to Chuuya
" Yeah, I got one but are you okay? " Chuuya asked, worry laced on his features. He usually hated being vulnerable in front of others but it's somehow okay when it's a redhead specifically named Nakahara Chuuya
" Well aside from the fact that I think I just broke a rib and blood is streaming down my face then yeah, Im fine " He giggled bitterly
He earned a 'Tsk' from the other " Stop me when it's over " Chuuya said before running of the Madeline who had a stern, angry look on her face
Chuuya removed his gloves " Oh, Grantors of Dark Disgrace. Do Not Wake Me Again " He chanted, a red glow surrounded him a second later
He began attacking at Madeline but the girl whistled again, a different monster than earlier appeared out of nowhere
Chuuya, in his uncontrollable state, continued attacking the monster without a second thought
Dazai looked at Chuuya with amusement in his eyes. He can never get used to Chuuya fighting, no matter how many times he's seen it before
Chuuya might look like a monster to others in this state but to Dazai's eyes, he looks like a ballerina dancing gracefully in the battlefield
Madeline's eye widened, she whistled again and a monster as big as a titan appeared
Chuuya attacked again defeating the titan but Dazai can see that Chuuya is slowly losing his energy
He knocked out the girl who's distracted by Chuuya then he fled as fast as he can to Chuuya, touching his cheek
Chuuya's blue irises (that he loved oh so much, he just didn't know it yet) returned as he passed out from exhaustion
___________
Dazai was on his way to the mafia's clinic, the chibi has been in a coma for 3 weeks now and he's showing no signs of waking up
On his way, he saw some nurses and other mafioso's that are looking and running around in panic
" What's going on here? " He asked one of the nurses
" Nakahara Chuuya has gone missing, Sir " They babbled in horror " And the worst part is, he hasn't completely healed yet " They added before continuing to run frantically
Dazai sighed, the first thing that the slug does the moment he wakes up is cause trouble at the mafia
A million theories of where that hatrack could be, found their way into Dazai's head
He eventually settled on one place, he's 100% sure that he would find Chuuya there
He's right, he saw a flicker of red hair from afar and he already knew that the hair belonged to a certain chibi
Dazai sat beside Chuuya " Hey, how are you feeling? " He saw how the latter's eyebrows are knit together
"Like Shit " Chuuya snapped without sparing one glance at his direction
" Care to explain what the fuck happened back there? " Chuuya looked at him and he made sure to give the redhead a look that says 'It's okay if you don't want to tell'
Chuuya seemed to have appreciated the gesture, he turned to look at the ocean once again, this time with a more relaxed expression than earlier " Since you're gonna be my partner for who knows how long, I think it's better to tell you the truth "
Dazai waited patiently for Chuuya to talk, he wanted the slug to be comfortable about whatever he has to talk about
" Long story short, there is a god of calamity sealed inside me and whenever I use his power, I lose control of myself and attack everything and everyone until I die of exhaustion " Chuuya paused, choosing each and every single word carefully " It's both physically and emotionally draining and I hate it "
Dazai wanted to say something but he didn't know what. He doesn't even know how to comfort himself, how would he know how to comfort others?
In the end, he decided to asked Chuuya to go play in the arcade and the other agreed
_________
" Too bad for you " He shot Chuuya with a teasing smile
" WAIT, HANG ON " Chuuya screamed as the letters K.O got displayed on his side of the screen
" Remember our promise? The loser has to obey one order from the winner, like a dog. Now what should I have you do "
To Chuuya, It might look like he wasn't taking this seriously but Dazai was pretty much taking this seriously
Maybe he should ask Chuuya for lunch (a date) again? Maybe ask for a hug?
" What do you want? " Chuuya forced himself to say somewhat calmly
" I'll tell you later " Dazai winked at Chuuya and the latter has to resist to urge to puke
_____________
It was already dead at night but Chuuya and Dazai are still up playing games like the teenagers that they are
Times like these are the only moments where they can act like normal people at their age and not a duo of killing machines
Dazai turned off the tv once he got tired and gestured for Chuuya to follow him to the bedroom
He lied down on the bed letting Chuuya sat down beside him
" Sing me a lullaby " He demanded
" And why would I do that?!?! " Chuuya yelled as loudly as he can without disturbing their probably sleeping neighbours
" You lost the bet right? " He reminded Chuuya
" But the game- "
" I know what you're about to say and no, I didn't demand you to play a game at my house, I only asked you if you want to play a game at my house and you said yes " He explained
Chuuya rolled his eyes in exasperation " Fine "
Chuuya did sing him a lullaby but ended up falling asleep first
Dazai carefully tucked Chuuya in his bed. He stared at the redhead, taking in every details on his face So this is what a god looks like, huh
He looked as peaceful as a newborn baby and this is one of the moments when he wished they had a normal, peaceful life
____________
" As I've been saying before Ango interrupted me " He glared at Ango who just roll his eyes " I just think that Chuuya is the ugliest when he's asleep, I mean he's ugly all of the time but sleeping Chuuya is on a whole 'nother level of ugliness "
" Really, how so? " Oda asked, gaining a nudge by Ango
" Glad you asked, well you see, sleeping Chuuya has this ugly blush on his cheek and his lips are just as pink as his motorcycle and I didn't see a single blemish on his face and we all know that all mafioso- no all human has blemish on their face and overall, his whole face looks like a baby, a very ugly baby " He rambled, waving his arms around like it's gonna help him prove his point
This gesture however, only earned an unamused stare from his friends " What? " He asked
" Wow, I can't believe the demon prodigy of the mafia is an idiot " Ango mocked
" Welp, geniuses often use their brains instead of their heart " Oda added
He let out an exaggerated gasp, clutching his heart for bonus effects " Odasaku, are you siding with your boyfriend? " He smiled after saying the word 'boyfriend'
Obviously, they can't date because it's not allowed in the mafia and even if they did, then they better make sure that they can hide their relationship from Mori but it's still fun to tease them
Ango blushed like a tomato while Oda coughed, thinking of a way to somehow change Dazai's focus to something else
" As your dear friend Dazai, I think that… " Oda started, making it as suspenseful as possible
" What? "
" I think that you like Chuuya "
" And please don't bullshit us with your denial ass by saying that you don't like that slug " Ango chimed in
He squinted his eyes at the pair before closing his eyes, finally following their advice
They sat in silence for a few minutes until Dazai broke it off by laughing " Oh my, I guess I really do like that slug " he said wiping off tears from his face
" Congrats, you're the last one to figure it out " Ango said sarcastically, Oda clapping in the background to 'congratulate' him
______________
When Dazai returned to his apartment, he found his flosare glowing again, after the blinding glow fades, one of the petals turned yellow
Acceptance
Fear
He immediately knew that this day wasn't going to be good the second he opened his eyes, he can feel it in his veins
And his theory soon confirmed itself when Mori called him to his office. The atmosphere in his office is tense and cold, any normal mafioso would've passed out
" Dazai-kun, you know that I know my employees like the back of my hands, right? " Mori's tone was 'friendly' but he knew better
" Why did you call me here? I am an executive so I expect you to know that I'm a very busy person " He said confidently but there's still a hint of fear in his voice
" I'm gonna give you a little advice " Mori put the documents aside and looked up at him, his eyes pointed at him venomously " Get rid of something that you don't need if you don't want it to be a liability " Ah, so he already knew
" Is that all? " Mori nodded and he walked out from his office
He usually wasn't a violent person but right now, he wanted to destroy something or someone
__________
He followed Mori's 'advice' and for the next 3 years, Dazai distanced himself away from Chuuya, he succeeded most of the time since he got so good at ignoring his feelings
Fear helped him realize a lot of things
He figured that the more he has, the more he has to lose. The more someone means to him, the more afraid he is of losing that person. He already let Ango and Oda mean something to him and that's enough
In the mafia, feelings such as love are completely unnecessary because it can hinder with ones job. Love can make someone weak and there's no room in the mafia for weak people
His feelings might not be reciprocated and even if it is, they can't be together because dating is prohibited in the mafia
He might not enjoy working in the mafia from time to time but if he gets kicked out, where else would he go? And that is if Mori was kind enough to only kick him out and not give him some kind of torture punishment and Chuuya might get in trouble too, that was what he feared the most
He's been in the mafia ever since he was 10 years old and he saw how cruel Mori can be
It was strange of him to not come up with any 'strategies' to discard his pointless feelings for the past 3 years but he couldn't exactly blame himself, seeing as the feeling was completely foreign to him
Distancing himself away from Chuuya is the best 'strategy' that he got
He was annoyed, his feelings for Chuuya are completely unwanted by everyone, including himself
He would've welcomed his feelings a little more if they had a normal life
Speaking of, how did he even like that little slug in the first place? Sure, he'll admit that the redhead was a little pretty, no scratch that, he's really pretty but is that all to it? If his feelings for Chuuya are just because of his looks then he'll like every single pretty person he met
_________
He's been avoiding Chuuya a lot more than necessary lately
" I'm afraid I can't go with you to the mission, chibi. I have to go with Odasaku to a much more important mission, just… " Dazai hesitated for a second, he can do this and he will do this " Just go bring Tachihara with you if you can't handle it yourself "
Oda and Tachihara who's standing beside them stared at the two awkwardly They really are hopeless
For a split second, Dazai saw a disappointed expression on Chuuya's face " Tsk, come on, Tachihara " Chuuya said
Tachihara walked by Chuuya's side, looking at him with a pitiful look " Chuuya-san, let's have a drink after we completed this mission, it's my trea- " Tachihara suggested but cut himself off as he realized something, he didn't get his salary yet but he really really wanted to cheer Chuuya up. Should he just sell an organ?
Chuuya (fortunately) read through his expression and suggested another suggestion, he shook his head with a laugh "I think I'm the one who should treat you to a drink, for helping me with this mission "
Tachihara wanted to refuse but he can't, he doesn't have any money yet, he nodded in agreement and continued walking beside Chuuya
Dazai saw it all, he wanted it to stop, he wanted to stop him but he couldn't. The only thing that he could do is glare at a certain ginger
" It's probably none of my business but if you're going to make such a sour face, perhaps it is better to be honest with him? " Oda commented
" Being honest will do me no good, Odasaku. It's better this way " Oda gave him a look of sympathy or empathy? He wasn't sure
A sigh escaped his lips. Why is this happening to him? Why him? Why now? Why?
_________
After the mission, Oda suggested that they should go for a drink and 'coincidentally', he found Chuuya and Tachihara there as well
Dazai glared at Oda but his friend only gave him an 'innocent' look. He's too tired today so he didn't bother to do anything and just sat in one of the chairs, far away from Chuuya of course. He won't interact with Chuuya unless it's necessary
His 'plan' collapsed when Oda dragged Tachihara outside the bar. Dammit Odasaku
A little more later and Dazai found himself carrying Chuuya to his apartment
He took his and Chuuya's shoes and carried him to his room and gently placed him on his bed
He can't help himself but to look- stare at Chuuya's face once again and after a lot of hesitation, he kissed Chuuya's forehead and went home
There's a lot of reasons why Chuuya and him can't be together and he knows it but somewhere deep in his heart, there's some hope that maybe everything will somehow work
He shook the thought away, he shouldn't get his hopes up, only to be disappointed in the end
When he went to his apartment, he saw the familiar glow coming from his closet but it's a little fainter than the last two
He opened his closet and he saw one of the petals turned green: Fear
The petal didn't turn completely green, there's little specks of white on it
A conclusion came to his mind. Is it because he's not completely scared? Maybe because some part of him is actually hopeful?
Contentedness
After 4 years, Oda, Ango, and Dazai finally broke free of the chains that is the mafia.
Oda said that he wants to be on the side that saves people so he transferred to the Armed Detective Agency and the other 2 followed him like he's their leader
Dazai was quite hesitant to leave the mafia since Chuuya was there and he knew that he couldn't convince the hatrack to go to the Armed Detective Agency with him but he figured that it's for the best, maybe he can even get rid of his feelings for Chuuya
He proved himself wrong and constantly watched Chuuya from a distance, observing him from afar is good enough for him, although he does a feel a stung on his heart from sometimes Longing
Damn Chuuya and his ability to bring the emotions out of him without being aware of it
Ango and Oda immediately dated when they got out of the mafia. Envy pooled Dazai's stomach every time he looked at the couple, he wished him and Chuuya could be like that too but he can only dream
___________
Dazai was on his way home but a flower shop caught his attention. He has never saw this flower shop before, out of curiosity, he walked inside the shop, looking at the different types of flowers
He came across a white flower, it reminded him of his flosare that he still has today, he was quite dumbfounded when the flower lasted years even without the proper care it needed
He was then reminded of his time with Chuuya, he remembered the times when they fought together, when they rode Chuuya’s obnoxiously pink motorcycle, when they visited the beach to calm their nerves, when Chuuya comforted him, sang to him when he was in his depressed episode, he remembered everything and his longing for Chuuya increased tenfold, to the point where it was actually eating him apart
A brilliant idea came to his mind, he approached the cashier “ Excuse me miss, what flowers can I give to someone to tell them that I miss them? ” He asked
The florist hummed for a second before grabbing a bundle of flowers “ Pink camellias means longing, Sir ”
Dazai knew that Chuuya probably wouldn’t get the meaning of the flower but he still bought them anyway
_____________
Chuuya was sipping his wine, tv playing in the background to help distract himself from his thoughts because being alone with his thoughts is not a good idea
He heard the ring of a doorbell and despite lacking energy he forced himself out of his couch to see the person that dare ruin his supposed to be calming evening
He was met with silence when he opened the door, not a single person to be found but he did found a flower when he looked down, a paper tucked in it
He picked it up and read the letter, closing the door with his feet and walking to his couch
You remind me of the sunset by the ocean
Your red hair burns like the sun
Your eyes were painted in calm blue, drowning me when I stare for too long
Your freckles are like the stars hidden in the sunset sky barely visible but always beautiful
Your voice is as heavenly calming as the sound of the waves
What the fuck? Is someone trolling him? They described his physical appearance so the stranger must've seen him, maybe they're his friends?
He looked everywhere for a name or address but all he found was a number, written below were the words 'Text me if you want someone to talk to'
He threw the paper to the bin but for some reason, he couldn't do the same to the flowers
He grabbed a cup as big as a small vase, filled it with water and put the flower there
He wondered what kind of flower is this and what do they mean, he knew that all flowers symbolize something. He wanted to search but he didn't even know the name of the flower.
Chuuya lied in his bed, he tossed and turned around the bed but he's still unable to sleep
He sighed as he walked towards the bin and dug the paper he threw away earlier
He contemplated but texted the number anyway
* This is Chuuya * Chuuya introduced himself * Who are you? Have we met before? * He asked
* Hi Chuuya, I’m Shuuji Tsushima, don’t you remember me? *
Chuuya tried to recall every person he met on his life, he didn’t remember someone name Shuuji Tsushima * No *
* We met 4 years ago at the beach. I’ve been trying to find you for a while and I recently just found your address *
Okay, that’s creepy as fuck
At first, Chuuya thought that he didn't need to write anything. He was strong and didn't have any weaknesses. He's fine, but he later found himself typing, it's like his fingers were moving on their own
He proceeded to type all his worries, all his insecurities that he didn’t even say to his former partner, all the insecurities that he himself didn't even acknowledge before (He shocked himself when he found out just how many insecurities he has)
He typed the fact that he wasn’t human, that information is only known to Mori- The mafia boss, but here he is saying all these confidential information to a complete stranger
If this ‘Shuuji Tsushima’ guy turns out to be from an enemy organization then he’s fucked. This information may be used against him in the future but right now, he doesn’t care, he just wanted to vent all his emotions even if it’s to a stranger
To Chuuya’s surprise, chatting with Shuuji is actually very enjoyable and therapeutic. They sympathizes with him but they don’t pity him
____________________
The more Dazai read the words in the text, the more flabbergasted he became
He put his company phone number so Chuuya could open up, so he could vent his feelings, thinking that Dazai was a stranger
A thread of guilt was hung by Dazai’s heart as he read all of Chuuya’s worries and insecurities, it isn’t fair for Chuuya to be the only one who shows their vulnerability so he texted all his negative thoughts too
They ended up texting all night, just talking about their weaknesses. He closed his eyes once their conversation ended
He wanted to buy Chuuya a garden of roses so he can show the chibi just how loved he is, not just by him but everyone in his surroundings too
He continued sending flowers and letters to Chuuya hoping to ease his insecurities even a little bit. Although he wanted to see Chuuya’s reaction every time he sent a gift, a thank you text from him is okay too
_________________
Chuuya's texts have been slowly decreasing these past months, he knew that Chuuya was not obliged to text him but he's still a little… concerned
It all started when Mori lifted the dating ban in the mafia because the boss finally got a boyfriend *cough*Thedirectorftheagency*cough*
That bastard
He decided to spy on Chuuya once again. He stood subtly outside Chuuya's house
Nothing suspicious is happening so far but Dazai kept his ground. He might not look like it but he's a very patient man, 24 hours? He could stand there for 24 years
His questions got answered when Tachihara arrived at Chuuya's doorstep, a bouquet of roses in his hand. Dazai clenched his teeth, flowers were supposed to be his and Chuuya's thing (Even though the slug doesn't know about it)
Chuuya opened the door and smiled at the sight in front of him while Dazai's frown deepened
Tachihara hands him the roses and gives him a peck on the lips and that is Dazai's cue to leave
________
Dazai grabbed his phone with trembling fingers. His mind hasn't been in contact with reality yet so he texted Chuuya just to confirm it
* Why haven't you been texting me lately?:( * He asked as Shuuji
Chuuya responds later than Dazai would've liked * Oh, I forgot to tell you, I just got a boyfriend last week and we've been going on dates *
That's all the confirmation Dazai needs. He doesn't respond any further and turned off his phone, staring at the ceiling like it's the most wonderful thing in the world
He expected that Chuuya would get a partner sooner or later but he still can't help but shed a tear, he closes his eyes and lets the darkness consume him
__________
The world seems to hate Dazai (No surprises there) because Fukuzawa just announced their alliancement with the Port Mafia and he also assigned Dazai to a joined mission with Nakahara Chuuya
Dazai doesn’t know if he should be happy or not to see Chuuya. He’s excited to fight together with Chuuya again after 4 years but with this new found information… he just can’t
____________
" DAZAI! " Chuuya yelled after he got hit by Lovecraft's tentacles (Or whatever one wants to call it). Geez, if people keep creating mutants then his ability to nullify others gifts will be useless
Somewhere deep in his heart, he actually likes the way Chuuya still cares about him even though he left him
Dazai is fine with this. As long as Chuuya still acknowledges him, then all is fine
Chuuya ended up using corruption again but other than that, he can say that the mission went smoothly
Dazai didn't carry Chuuya to his apartment like before, he felt so tired to carry a chibi slug
When he returned to his apartment and after 4 years, a new color finally covered one of the petals. It's blue, contentedness
Greed
Dazai sighed as he looked at Chuuya. After completing the mission, some members of the Port Mafia and the Detective Agency managed to convince their leaders to start a party to celebrate their success
He's honestly shocked with himself, he was shocked at how the flames hasn't cooled down after 4 almost 5 years and if anything, it's burning even brighter than it did before
He thought that once he distanced himself with Chuuya then his feeling would slowly but surely disappear but apparently, he was wrong
He watched Chuuya and Tachihara being all lovey dovey in complete despair
An idea crossed his mind, he thought of this idea long ago but the desire to make Chuuya happy prevented him from doing it but he can't stop himself now
Dazai knew all too well that even though he hasn't killed anyone or committed any illegal acts ever since he left the mafia, he still wasn't a good person
He knew that he was selfish and he would still manipulate others to his own benefits like he did when he was still in the mafia
Yosh, time to break a relationship Oda and Ango must've seen the dangerous glint in Dazai's eyes " Please think twice before you do something, Dazai " Oda pleaded
They really knew each other too well " Whatever do you mean, Odasaku? " Dazai asked 'innocently'
The couple stared at him blankly, Ango sighed " You've been sta- glaring at them ever since the party started and a glint just appeared in your eyes a few seconds ago " Ango explained
He scoffed at them " Nothing too bad is gonna happen, trust me "
When he gets home, the last petal of the flower turned purple- Greed
Dazai got slightly nervous. What’ll happen now that the last petal finally got its color?
He spent the entire night doing research on the flower but he got no new information whatsoever
____________
Dazai was both mad and tired after work, he spent the entire night on researching but found nothing, he just wasted his time on nothing and now he want nothing more than to climb on to his bed and get his well deserved sleep
He pulled a lot of all-nighters before so he was used to not sleeping but top that with stress? Haha no.
The first thing or rather, the first person that he saw the moment he stepped a foot outside the Detective Agency was a mafioso that he desperately doesn’t want to see
When the mafioso noticed him, they hurriedly approached him
“ What are you doing here, Tachihara-kun? ” Dazai smiled, fighting off a snarl
“ Can we go somewhere else, like a bar or something? I really need to tell you something, it’s important ” Tachihara asked in a hurry, as if a monster is chasing him
Dazai only nodded before dragging Tachihara into his favorite bar- The Lupin Bar, he only went along because he have a speculation that whatever Tachihara wants to talk about is related to Chuuya
His theory seems to be wrong because Tachihara only asked him about his well being and other shits that he doesn’t want to hear
He subtly sighed “ What do you want? I don’t have all day ” he said a little harsher than he would’ve liked
Tachihara certainly got caught of guard, his eyes widening a little, he looked at the counter with a look of guilt “ Chuuya ” the ginger paused, unsure if he really wants to say this or not “ Likes… you ” he finished
Now it was Dazai's turn to get caught off guard but unlike Tachihara, he refused to let it show on his face “ What are you talking about? ” He asked as neutral as he possibly can
Tachihara doesn’t know if he should cry or laugh, they’re both so stubbornly stupid “ I like Chuuya and I confessed to him, he said yes but even I can see and feel that Im not really the one he likes, it’s you ” Tachihara finally looked up to Dazai to give him a half-assed glare “ And I know that you like him too ”
He only listened halfway through, the word ‘Chuuya likes me’ repeating on his head
“ You two better get your shits together or I'm gonna lose it ” Tachihara laughed bitterly then his face got serious again “ I'm gonna break up with Chuuya tomorrow and that is your chance, if you let this opportunity go then you’re the dumbest man alive ”
It looks like operation break a relationship is not needed anymore
Dazai can’t believe that a demon prodigy such as himself just got called the dumbest man alive but he supposes that it’s (half) true
“ Thank you, Tachihara ” He smiled genuinely at Tachihara for the first time ever
Tachihara smiled at him too, only this smile has a sprinkle of sadness on it
____________
The fact the his feelings for Chuuya is reciprocated didn’t settle in fully in Dazai’s brain until he gets home
He threw his pillow on to the wall, a lot of questions and thoughts flooding on his poor poor brain that’s been working non-stop for 48 hours now
Since when did Chuuya like him? 7 years, he wasted 7 years thinking that Chuuya doesn’t like him and being a coward
Perhaps he really is undeserving of the ‘Demon Prodigy’ title because he’s the dumbest man alive
He thanked the world for giving him another chance and this time, he wouldn't let this one go to waste
_____________
Tachihara has been awfully nice to Chuuya this past 3 hours and Chuuya doesn't know what to make of it.
Tachihara bought them to an amusement park even though the ginger's schedule is packed
Chuuya will admit that he liked being pampered by his boyfriend but he can feel that something bad is gonna happen and it's been keeping him on edge
" Chuuya, what's wrong? " Tachihara asked
Chuuya decided it's best for him to be honest " I should be asking you that "
He said worriedly
Tachihara giggled at him " I'll tell you later, I don't want to let go of the fun yet " Chuuya wanted to asked more questions but Tachihara's tone made it clear that he doesn't want to talk about it yet
His worries didn't leave him but he didn't bother to dwell much on it " I want to ride that roller coaster " he said
Tachihara held his hand in front of his house. Chuuya's more nervous at what the other has to say than the time he had to demolish an entire organisation by himself
" Im sorry " Tachihara said with a somber look on his eyes
" What… What are you saying sorry for? " He asked but he knew exactly what he was talking about
" I want to break up, I'm really sorry " Tachihara cried as reluctantly let go of his hand and walked away
Chuuya was left alone, standing in front of his house. He wanted to cry but there's no tears wanting to escape from his eyes and after a few minutes, he realised that he wasn't that hurt by it
He felt terrible, he doesn't know whether it's because Tachihara broke up with him or because he felt felt rather relieved that Tachihara broke up with him
The only solution that he can think of is to text a stranger that he trusts
____________
Chuuya didn't expect to see a mackerel standing on his doorway at the middle of the night
Dazai immediately made his way to his couch the moment he opened the door
Chuuya sighed, he didn't have time for this now… or ever " What are you doing here? " He asked, not bothering to hide the utter disappointment in his voice
" I'm here to bless you with my presence " Dazai bit back confidently, showing him a mocking smile
" I don't have time for you bullshit, you waste of bandages "
He started getting suspicious at the man sitting on his couch, how Dazai coincidentally went into his apartment for the first time in 4, almost 5 years when he texted Shuuji about his situation
Chuuya started putting the pieces of the puzzle together, narrowing his eyes at the brunette
Dazai must've read his mind " Whatever you're thinking is correct "
With his energy drained out of him from the incident earlier, he sat on the couch instead of getting mad and throwing Dazai out of the window
Chuuya unexpectedly put his head on Dazai's lap, he's so physically and emotionally exhausted that he can't make logical choices anymore
" Why did you do that? To make fun of me? " Chuuya asked in a low whisper, his eye lids begging him to finally close them
Dazai laughed " Ahh, you're still the same silly chibi that I met 7 years ago, do you think that I'll send you flowers just to make fun of you? "
" Then why? " Dazai started combing through his hair making his desire to sleep increase
" I thought that you don't want to talk to me anymore after I left the mafia "
" Then why'd you leave " He interrogated
" I'll tell you tomorrow just rest for now " He closed his eyes and let his exhaustion consume him to sleep
Dazai was being weirdly kind when he stopped by last night so Chuuya believed that he wouldn't leave when the sky finally shown it's light but he was wrong
He was half expecting it but it's still upsetting
Chuuya felt like shit. Fortunately, he can have those once in a month leave. He really needed those right now because he doesn't know how to face Tachihara yet
He doesn't know what to do in his spare time, maybe he can just have a relaxing day on his bed, watch some cheesy rom-com movies so he can judge the stupid characters while drinking wine, have an existensial crisis before ending the day
He stretched as he got out of his bed, he does have one place that he wants to visit
__________
Chuuya stared sentimentally at the store in front of him, the said store is in absolute ruins that it can't really be called a store anymore, the familiar 'Old World' sign was barely readable but it's still there
" Hey guys, sorry I haven't been visiting lately " He laughed bitterly, sitting besides his pink motorcycle
" A lot of shitty things have been happening to me recently " Chuuya closed his eyes and there he can see all of his beloved friends still alive and comforting him
" Come on Chuuya, you're an executive of the powerful port mafia and you're telling me that something like this can bring you down this easily " The albatross from his imagination laughed
It sounds real, way too real
Chuuya opened his eyes and he was presented with a sight he never expect to see again
All five of his friends are standing in front of him with smiles on their faces
What the fuck? Chuuya gulped before wobbly stands and walked closer towards his friends
He tried his best to prevent himself from crying, to not make a fool out of himself if he was hallucinating, he failed " I-Is this real? "
One of Chuuya's trembling hands found their way to Albatross' cheeks and the other to Pianoman's while his eyes are travelling to the remaining three They looked and felt real
" Take a guess " Iceman said, his face lacking of emotions
A bunch of emotions stormed inside Chuuya, disbelief overshadowing the others " How? You guys died 6 years ago "
" What Verlaine killed was just an illusion. We predicted that he was after us so we used a man with an illusion ability and then we went into hiding " Doc explained
" Why did you guys only show up now? "
" Basically, we made a deal with the man with an illusion type ability named William Barrett, if he helped us with the Verlaine situation then we would secretly help him build an organisation without anyone knowing. It took us 6 years to build it without the help of the port mafia or other organisations " Pianoman chimed in
" Also because we wanted to surprise you " Albatross giggled
Chuuya's happiness was replaced with confusion as he felt a bullet pierce through his stomach. Iceman shot him
" Wha- " He felt his whole body going numb, there must've been poison on the bullet
He put pressure to his wound to stop it from bleeding more but he knew it was pointless
The other four also grabbed their guns and shot him at the same time
Ahh, I knew it was too good to be true were his last thoughts as everything went cold and dark
__________
Dazai excitedly broke through Chuuya's apartment holding the flosare carefully with one hand
He's gonna confess by giving Chuuya the flower that is also accompanied by a very uncharastically sappy speech. He already prepared and practiced what he was going to say and do
He sat by the couch and played some games on his phone while waiting for the chibi to arrive
It's already dark out but Chuuya is still not home yet. Is he busy? No, he knew that Chuuya took a leave from work
Dazai tried to call Chuuya but he wasn't answering, his phone must've died or maybe it was turned off since Chuuya doesn't like distractions when he's on a break
There's nothing to worry about, really. Chuuya is one of the best martial artists in the mafia and he also has his dependable gravity manipulation. He knew that the redhead is more than capable of protecting himself
Dazai 'calmly' called all of Chuuya's acquaintances (even Mori) and asked if they've seen Chuuya. They all answered the same thing " I haven't seen Chuuya "
Dazai, who's still holding the flower, ran all the way to the beach. Chuuya wasn't there
He checked everywhere until only one location was left
Dazai dropped the flosare when he saw Chuuya lying lifelessly in the pool of his own blood. He called Ango and told him to come over as soon as possible
His knees gave up on him as he got a closer look at Chuuya.
There are 5 gun shots on his body and based from the color of his skin, it looks like the bullets are dipped in poison
He held Chuuya in his arms, hot tears streaming down his face
How the fuck did this happen? Who did this? Why?
Dazai is starting to get dizzy from all the questions that his head is asking him but the most important question made him sob uncontrollably Why didn't you come sooner?
If he came sooner, would he be able to save Chuuya?
He attempted to investigate, to figure out how this happened but the only thing that's on his mind is regret and anger
He was mad at himself, Chuuya is always there whenever he's at his worst. Even after he left the mafia, Chuuya still cared for him, but when Chuuya needed him the most, he wasn't there
" Dazai… " He heard two footsteps coming closer to him. It's Ango and Oda
Ango started investigating the surroundings without Dazai saying anything
Ango used his ability as he touched the ground.
From the corner of his eye, Dazai saw Ango became visibly shocked
" What is it, Ango? " He asked weakly, he felt as if he's about to pass out
" This is impossible " Ango whispered, he turned towards Dazai " It was Pianoman, Lipman, Iceman, Doc, and Albatross who killed him " He finished
Oda gasped " It must've been someone with a cloning ability "
Oda saw the confused glances of his two friends so he continued talking " It was 4 years ago, Chuuya got a mission to kill a leader of an organisation named Eugene Wilhelm. If what I remembered was correct, Eugene has a sister named Kate Wilhem, she has the ability to clone someone she've seen before "
It clicked, Kate must've gotten revenge for his brother whom Chuuya killed 4 years ago
A glow in the distance temporarily distracts Dazai from the tragedy that he's holding. It's the flosare
Oda caught Dazai staring at the glowing flower so he gave it to cryin- sobbing man
The flower started to move by itself once Dazai's hand got a hold of it. It used his hand as a guide and it stabbed Chuuya right in the heart
The colors of the flowers got drained from the petals. After ten or so seconds, the redhead's eyelids opened, revealing his sapphire eyes
They all stared at Chuuya in shock
Confusion settles in on Dazai but he pays it no mind, he's just happy that Chuuya's back so he hugged the latter tight
Oda and Ango smiled in relief before turning around and walking away from the scene, not bothering to ask any questions
___________
Chuuya is floating on an endless void, he opens his eyes but his sight remains black. He can't feel anything
Suddenly there's a flower stuck to his chest, his attempts of getting it out were in vain. He doesn't feel pain anyway so he suppose it can stay that way
He remembers what happened earlier that day, how he was killed
There's a pang in his heart, he felt so pathetic. He's a mafia executive, he should always be on his guard whatever the occasion might be, yet he got killed by a pathetic gun
Maybe it's because he's so desperate to see his friends again that he lowered his guard down, his desire clouded his judgement
His thunderous thoughts came to a halt when he saw someone's memories. A certain brunette's memories
He saw all of it, their times at the beach, all the times that he comforted Dazai when he's having a breakdown, their usual banter
At some point, he even felt Dazai's emotions, it's all that he can feel in this abyss. It's strange
He felt the denial, the acceptance, the fear, the contentment, the greed. Everything
He felt pressured, it's all coming to him so fast that he can't catch up with it
Why was he seeing this anyway? Is this the punishment for all the lives he's taken when he's alive?
He closed his eyes, wanting to calm his nerves.
Warmth surrounded his whole body and just like that, every negative thoughts in his mind disappeared into nothing, including the unwelcomed memories that haunted him for what he felt like a century
He opened his eyes and saw the man he wanted to see the most at that moment
He saw two other people but they walk away from them
" Stop hugging me so tight asshole, I can't breathe!! " He yelled, his voice holding no real heat into them
He heard Dazai laugh " You're still the same after everything that happened "
The bandaged man looked at him fondly, and he felt himself getting lost in the others chocolate eyes too " I'm glad you're back " Dazai ends a little more seriously than before
Although he's relieved to see Dazai again, he still can't help but to get curious " What happened? I am…supposed to be dead so why? "
Dazai took the flower out of his chest, it began to ceased to exist
Chuuya saw a bewildered look on Dazai's face before it turned into a playful expression " You stink, chibi. Shower first will you? "
He rolled his eyes and stood up, sitting on his motorbike that fortunately survived " Hop on or walk, your choice "
___________
They had a deep talk on Chuuya's couch after their short rest
He explained all the things he knew and Chuuya explained his side of the story too
It's slightly embarrassing that Chuuya now knew what he felt during all those years and Chuuya also saw his memories
Chuuya got hesitant asking his last question " My friends- "
" ...They weren't real Chuuya, the one who targeted you has a cloning ability " He forced himself to say. To be able to have the chance to see your friends again only for it to not be real… He knew that Chuuya probably got disappointed
He wanted to distract Chuuya so he explained a little more about the flower
It thankfully worked as Chuuya now has a smug smirk plastered on his face " Why are you called the demon prodigy when you're this stupid? "
Wow. First Oda and Ango, then Tachihara, and now Chuuya? He really needs to prove that he's worthy of being labeled as a demon prodigy (Although he doubted himself too)
" It's because I spent too much time with you that I caught your disease called stupidity " he earned a harmless hit on his shoulders " I love you, you little slug "
"
I love you too, you bandaged mackerel
"