Chapter Text
Sobbing.
Sadness.
Pain.
Those were the only sounds that Emma could hear as she embraced her younger siblings. Though, she couldn’t blame them. Their mother just died right in front of them. So, composure be damned, she was crying with the rest of them.
Mama was dead.
That’s the only thought that went through her head as she tried to comfort the young ones because, at the end of the day, she was still their Mama. Yes, she must’ve shipped hundreds of her children to their deaths but, what other choice did she have? It was that or die. There was no denying that. Despite the horrors Emma and the rest knew Mama had done, they couldn’t let go one single fact. Isabella was still their mama. Always had been and always would be. Yes, they were angry. It might be difficult to forgive her but… they all loved her and always would. And now they knew she loved them too.
It's ironic really, because back in the B06-32 shelter she’d talk to Ray about it. Under the cover of darkness and deafened by the sound of everyone else asleep. She voiced her concerns but instead of confirming her fears of her being a hypocrite and insane, he soothed her doubts. That it was perfectly normal even. He confessed that even he had conflicting emotions over Mama. So, taking comfort over each other’s presence they mulled over cherished memories of not only Mama but their whole family because even if their reality was cruel at least the felt loved if not by Mama, then by each other.
So, with tears still sliding heavily down her face a genuine smile crept on to her face as the shock slowly bled out of her system. Gazing towards the rest, it seemed everyone else’s shock had also wounded down even if some muffled crying could still be heard amongst them. The smaller children of the plants were being calmed down by the other Mamas surrounding them or in the case of her family it was mainly her comforting them. It was her job. She realized this was always her role, even as Gilda tried to lend a hand most of the children simply just gravitated towards her. Even young Phil, who was usually the most cool-headed, on par with Ray or Norman, simply latched on to her violently as he tried to muffle his uncontrollable sobs. So, there she stayed. Continuing to grieve over the loss of her mother with the rest of her siblings.
Emma felt so drained, she thought they must’ve sat there in her embrace for hours when a sharp painful scream broke Emma out of her stupor. As if in autopilot, she ran towards the source of the sound. Without even realizing she still had Phil in her arms and was carrying him as she ran. Emma didn’t even know where she was going, she just knew the person she was looking for. How could she not? To her dismay, this wasn’t the first time she heard her lifeline scream in pain. In the caves underground the forest, at Goldy Pond, at the Eye of the Dragon…she truly had lost count. However, this was the first time she didn’t know the source of the pain and so, with a rejuvenated sense of urgency Emma pushed on running. This complete sense of focus deprived Emma of everything else so, she hadn’t realized someone had grabbed her and then stood in front of her to stop her movement. Stumbling and taking breath, she finally looked up. Blue eyes that were red from crying excessively and white hair that was clearly disheveled came into her vision.
“Norman? What are you –”
Norman for his part, tried his damn best to not look as distraught as he felt. After all, he’d putting on masks as long as he could remember. So, it should be easy right?
“You…you’ve been through enough…Let…Let me…I’ll talk to…to him…”
Emma observed carefully as he spoke…well…more like stuttered out his words. She took note how his hands trembled, despite his obvious efforts to hide it. To put it simply, Norman looked like what Emma assumed would be a kicked puppy. They’ve been through enough…well…shit already. And for Norman it seems this was his limit. However, her sense of urgency of reaching that painful scream hadn’t left her so…her patience was lacking which is why her next words were spoken without hesitation.
“No. Norman you’re in no shape to be comforting anybody. You’re a mess as it is. So, if you truly want to help me…just take Phil to Gilda. I’m the only one who’s going to talk to him. No one else. So…Do you know where he is?”
Norman’s eyes grew wide in shock as he heard what Emma had to say but, still kept his mouth shut once she finished. However, it seemed like either the silence was unnerving her, or she was simply growing impatient because she sighed before she spoke again.
“Sorry…too blunt?”
Norman didn’t know if it was just an overload of emotions over what they’ve just been through or the simple fact that he was sick of crying but…he smiled, holding in his mirth before responding.
“Considering our current state of affairs, I think your bluntness can be excused. Moreover, it might’ve been even called for.”
However, this didn’t give the reaction he was hoping for which effect was a testament for him of high-strung Emma truly was when simply grunted in response. So, without wasting another breath, Norman extended his arms towards her. Accepting his invitation, Emma carefully yet effortlessly handed Phil to him. The boy quickly snuggled closer into his arms with no protest as if trying to reacquaint himself with Norman’s scent. Not wanting to test Emma’s patience (considering the fact they just saw each other again after two years, he really didn’t know where the level was at. And before it, there wasn’t much to begin with) he spoke up without further delay.
Signaling towards his left he said, “He’s over there, under his tree.” And sure enough, gazing towards the direction he pointed, Ray could be seen kneeling on the grass under his favorite oak tree, trying to pull his hair out. Not to mention, they could still hear him screaming. Getting to higher ground but eyes still on him, Norman watched as Emma sprinted off like a shot towards Ray. He sighed deeply; two years was a long time. However, before he could delve deeper into that trail thought he heard something.
“Norman?”
His eyes snapped around, searching for the source of what called him when he realized it was Phil. Seeing those bright blue eyes, he thought would never see again brought a smile to his face. Despite the soreness and stress that riddled his body, he felt a sense of joy and relief upon seeing those young eyes.
“Yeah, Phil?”
Even though Norman was still smiling at him, Phil’s eyes were still tear stricken but at least he wasn’t as distraught as a while ago in Emma’s arms which showed in his doubtful tone.
“Is it… Is it really over? Are we really free? Can I stop…Can I stop watching my big brothers and sisters die?”
Still smiling but with newly formed tears sliding down his face, Norman kissed the top of Phil’s forehead. His mind was whirring, Emma had told him that she was returning to save Phil and the others, but it never came to his mind that Phil knew. Phil had to go through the same hell as Ray. Now their reunion made sense. Ray’s words to him made sense. Phil was understood. Validated.
“Yes, buddy. It seems so. It’s over. No more shipments. We’re free.”
At that, Phil hugged him closer with all his strength but, his focus quickly diverted to the oak tree. From which Emma was trying to get Ray’s attention. Seeing his two older siblings, Phil’s face grew thoughtful.
Phil seemed to hesitate before speaking, as if he was afraid of what his words would bring. “Are they going to be ok? I mean…- Phil paused…trying to organize his thoughts – Emma looked really tired…and really sad…and…so did Ray…”
At this point, Norman decided to make themselves comfortable on the hill they were standing on and sat on the grass with Phil still tucked in his arms. It was comforting really. It reminded him of simpler of times. Playing tag with his siblings or simply giving them attack hugs from behind. He stayed still. After all, it seemed like he wasn’t going to heed Emma’s orders of going to Gilda. He simply sat there, not planning to leave anytime soon. Norman listened to the wind now that Ray’s screams had died down, Norman mulled over Phil’s question to see how he would respond. Norman observed his friends. Interestingly, they were far enough away that couldn’t hear each other but were close enough that Phil and he could see them clearly. Seeing how Emma gently moved Ray’s bang out of what Norman assumed would be a tear-stricken face, it was dawning on him why Phil would think this. Phil was quite observant and perceptive so; it wasn’t a surprise he had caught on. More so since he had the habit of clinging on to Emma during their time at the House. And even Norman could admit Emma was one of the most perceptive people knew. Though, Ray came in a close second. That being said, it’s no wonder Phil realized something was not right with those two. Especially, since he knew the truth. There was no fooling him.
“Mmmhh…they’ve had a tough road that’s for sure…however…knowing them…Yeah, they will be. Might take some time but they’ll be ok. How can they not? They have us, don’t they?”
Norman took privilege in this moment and proceeded to tickle the young boy which earned him a burst of giggles but seemed pensive pondering his words.
“Yeah, you’re right! But then… are you ok?”
Norman couldn’t help it anymore, he laughed. He had to hand it to him, Phil wasn’t letting him catch a break. However, it seemed the universe was colluding with Phil to make him stop hiding his emotions behind a mask because in his laughter he started coughing. On instinct, he did so on the crook of his elbow not realizing this would be a bad idea. This misjudgment was staring him right in the face as his white sleeve suddenly turned crimson red. Norman’s panic increased tenfold when Phil’s eyes suddenly shone with fear.
“Norman! You’re sick!”
Damn it. Seriously? He really couldn’t catch a break. Emma was right, he was slipping. (Emma being right was turning into habit. Which was starting to irk him, he might add. There’s only so many hits to his ego a boy can take.) All of this might be true but… by God, he wasn’t going to make Phil worry even further. However, this was proven to be difficult since he knew lying to Phil would do no good. So, with no other plausible options…he went simple.
“Yeah, Phil. Big brother is sick.” Smiling, Norman took his flask of pills out of his pocket and placed them on Phil’s hand before continuing. “But…I have these medicines to make me feel better. See?”
(You didn’t see that coming, did you? Yeah, I know. I’m a manipulative bastard. Emma will chew me out later and I’ll most likely receive a slap from Ray. Well no, scratch that. I’ll 100% get a slap from Ray. But hey, it’s technically the truth.) Phil observed closely the pills in his hands before handing them back to him, as if contemplating Norman’s words.
“Ok…but we’ll help too! Just like Mama did when we were sick!”
Oh god, this kid is terrifying. This thought ran through his mind which made him laugh again. To be honest, this kid was like Emma and Ray put together. Nothing got past him. Norman won’t deny it, it’s a great trait to have. But it didn’t make it less scary. When Emma and Ray team up (aka always now) it takes seconds for him to back down. Phil will be a force of nature. This, for some reason brought up distant memories of mama. Why now? At this point, they’ve all been grieving for hours. So, why would his childhood memories come to him now? The answer was simple really. Shock. The shock was bleeding out of his system. Crying was only the immediate response of the body trying to register the death you witnessed but your mind is still out of it. Yes, they were sad that mama died. However, the mind hadn’t grasped with the idea. That…well…Mama was dead. There was no denying it, to them she was the only mother they’ve ever known. Her love for them was genuine and that love was reciprocated. So, once all the kids of Grace Field get out of their shocked state…There will be 37 kids jumping in and out of various stages of grief. That’s what this was; Norman realized. He was in what could be considered in the stage of denial by entering in this state of nostalgia. He was so tired that he welcomed it. It gave him a warm feeling that he hadn’t felt since the house. However, he still high wired enough that Norman knew he couldn’t let himself go completely just yet. He observed Phil for a moment as he absorbed his words. At first glance, it seemed like Phil simply reached the stage of acceptance. Though… (and this is shooting in the dark. Emma is the prodigy here. It hurts but it’s true. His emotional insight is seriously lacking.) it might also be that Phil is coping and focusing on happy memories to be in control of his grief. Having this in mind, he decided to leave him be by being tactful.
“You’re right buddy. Everything will be ok. We’ll be together.”
He then proceeded to hug Phil closer, kissing the top of his head and gently caressing his hair. They sit in silence. Breathing in each other’s presence in comfort. Norman noticed Phil’s breathing had turned slower and deeper, which meant he’d probably fallen asleep. He was proven partly incorrect though, as Phil’s slurred voice entered his ears.
“Nor…man…I’m…I’m co…cold…”
Norman wasted no time; he quickly removed his jacket and bundled Phil in it like a cinnamon roll. He still held him close, not only to comfort him but also to keep him warm. Once again caressing his hair, Norman confirmed Phil fell asleep in his arms.
Norman laid there on the hill, Lulled into a sense of comfort by the rhythm of Phil’s breathing and heartbeat coupled by the surrounding November breeze. It gave him time to think…ponder…reevaluate…After all, a lot of things happened in a short period of time. He escaped Λ7214, executed (albeit halfway) his plan to exterminate the demons and reunited with family. It was whirlwind that even he, had problems wrapping his mind around it. Though, he was thrilled being out of that thrice damned hell there was something he couldn’t quite place. Breathing deeply, he opened his eyes. His gaze landing on a certain wisp of red locks accompanied by raven ones, he started getting the idea. Emma. That’s what it amounted to really. Didn’t he try to annihilate the demon race just because Emma wanted someplace where they could be free and happy as a family? He could only laugh; fate had a twisted way of making itself known. And then came the other variable of the equation, Ray. To be honest, he was disconcerted by how they interacted with each other with ease when they’d reunited. Of course, all three of them had been best friends but…it seemed…extremely palpable…that it had grown from what it was before…Then again, he couldn’t blame them. To Ray and Emma, Norman died the night he got shipped. They’d grieved him. So, it wouldn’t be unexpected for them to gravitate towards each other and well, increase their bond. There was no denying that fact, it was demonstrated most prominently in his argument with Emma about her plan of the Seven Walls. However, that didn’t tell him so much about Emma towards Ray but more so Ray towards Emma. Based on past experience, Ray would disregard Emma’s plan as farfetched or even a pipe dream and for added measure he would’ve reprimanded her for such an illogical idea but instead he just let her say her piece. There were unusual actions that Ray made that day. One, he came with her to meet him even though Ray probably wasn’t completely sold on that plan. Two, Ray kept quiet throughout the whole exchange and only butt in when he noticed things getting overwhelming yet in favor of Emma’s position. Three, Norman did ask Ray to go with her, but he shot him back by replying that he was going anyway. So, it was irrelevant. The first told him that their sense a closeness had increased, and Ray was ready to support Emma’s decisions though, he doubted this was a one-sided exchange. However, it was still unusual. The second told him that Ray’s perception of Emma had changed to one of respect and acknowledgement which was a far cry to the one he had of her at Grace Field. The third action told him that Ray had taken Norman’s last words to him at heart. He was protecting and caring for Emma. So, can he really be mad about it? He shouldn’t be, right? He should be glad that they’re all alive and it worked out. But then…why…why is he feeling conflicted? They’re his best friends and yet…happy wouldn’t be a word he would use to describe his emotions right now. However…anger is such a strong word…So, that couldn’t be it…Mmmmm… annoyance? Yeah, that’s it! He was simply annoyed that they bonded…well…that Emma bonded more with Ray. There’s nothing to worry about. After a while, thing will go back to normal.
Though…wasn’t this already normal? No…that’s just his jumbled paranoid mind talking. Right? Norman sighed…He could put it off to the fact that ever since Lambda his mind hasn’t been the same though, he’d be lying. This was normal. And not just now but always. He was just oblivious…no…He chose to be blind about it. After all, back at Grace Field Norman was always ready to play with Emma but she always wanted to include Ray first. Sure, she wasn’t always successful, and Ray put up a lot of resistance. Though that never stopped her, she’s persistent.
That being said, if he thought back without the blind lens…He always tended to get sick. Especially in winter, he could get sick multiple times within the same season. So, who’s to say that they didn’t hangout more at those times when he wasn’t around. More so in winter, which was a higher probability that they stayed indoors, and Ray could convince her stay in the library. Not to mention, when they were younger…they’ve just turned six and realized the tests were getting more difficult. He got perfect scores…Though…That’s it, he remembered now. Ray and Emma’s score weren’t low but there was room to improve. Emma got miffed about it so, Ray mentioned he could help her study if she wanted. Norman now knew it was just Ray making sure they didn’t get shipped. Though, she took the bait thanks to her competitive nature. And well…Emma likes to learn, that much is true. Meanwhile, Norman thought it was a waste of time. Why would he study if he got perfect scores regardless. Of course…he never said that. He just opted to play tag with the rest or dismantle the clocks and fix them which Ray sometimes joined in. So, if he could take an estimate…for two years Ray and Emma would hole themselves up in the library. Which…come to think of it…was where the teasing started between them…huh…After those two years, Emma started playing again more. Though…that’s mostly because Ray used that time well. However, Norman doubts he would let himself fail. Considering the stakes, he doesn’t blame him…
So…even without adding the two years as escapees they still bonded by themselves quite a lot at Grace Field. And so… His mind isn’t being paranoid after all, it’s being as it always been. He is being logical. The problem with him is, he doesn’t want to be.
Norman sighed deeply as we watched them under the tree. If he didn’t know any better Norman would’ve said they were six again. Embraced together while Ray read Emma a story. Sadly, he realized his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. This wasn’t just him distorting his reality. The image that resurfaced towards the forefront of his mind was an actual memory. They really used to do that but in his determination towards Emma, his mind conveniently archived those memories.
Emma loved him sure, but it has finally gotten into Norman’s thick skull that the light of her eyes is…Ray…Emma loved Norman in the way she loved the rest of their family. Deeply sure, there’s no doubt about that. But to her eyes he’s her brother not the way he sees her. However… seeing that smile while she’s with Ray can he really try to fight it? Would he risk taking that smile away from her? What would that make him? Probably, leave him in the same status as the killer he urged himself to be. That’s not what he wants right? He wants Emma to be happy. He said so himself, Norman wanted to keep Emma’s smile on her face. So, why was he mulling over an idea that might take it away…
He closed his eyes, taking in his surroundings and adjusting his embrace on Phil trying to clear his thoughts. Then it came to him…
It was because he wasn’t the one to put that smile on her face…it was Ray…He was having these irritated thoughts because he wasn’t the source of her happiness just fragment of it. She literally survived without him.
Even though he was irritated however, he won’t do anything against it. Sure he was irked but how can he be truly displeased over her happiness. And at the end of the they were both his best friends he should be glad. They found happiness with each other so, his duty as a friend, as family was to be happy for them. He needed to.
Even if he was vexed about it, he had to smile. They were his family so, if it’s another façade that he needs to build for the time being, then so be it.