Chapter Text
Nico was running, or at least in this dream he was. The winding hallways and bright lights of the Lotus Casino blinded his already sensitive eyes, his little legs couldn't get him far enough away from the employees. They smiled thinly and they looked at him with eyes like he wasn’t meant to be there. Running farther the carpet of the hallway became dirt and the winding seedy wallpaper started looking like that of a maze. God’s no not this again. He shut his eyes tight as he could and tried to shadow travel somewhere. Anywhere but thats not how it works, stupid. Not here. Opening his eyes it was dark and so fucking cold. He’s sweating but it’s freezing, looking from side to side he couldn’t even see his hands. No no please not this again. He wanted heat, he wanted light, he wanted someone who understood this. Someone who understood fear and pain and he could just hold onto. He wanted…
Waking up wasn’t peaceful, Nico’s eyes felt hot and he could clearly feel steady tears making their way down his flushed face. Turning his head he realized he was wrapped up in several layers of thin sheets and fluffy blankets. Leo was almost constantly putting more and more blankets inside his “Freezers asshole of a cabin” was never warm enough. Nico always felt like he had to point out that Leo couldn’t feel the cold so how the hell would he know? Nico knows how he knows, it’s because Leo always knows what's up with him. That and he really loves to sleep in layers even if he wakes up sweaty ( he physically can’t sleep in a bed anymore without being bundled, Nico already knew what happened at the foster homes just like Leo knew what happened in the 30’s to boys like them, they both needed help). Turning around Nico couldn’t find Leo even though he vaguely remembered holding him as they fell asleep. Nico wasn’t physically prepared to get out of bed as his knee seemed to buckle under when he stepped out in his cocoon of blankets. Looking around the moonlit cabin he still couldn’t find him. Sighing he made his way to the porch door with a million things on his mind.
Leo wasn’t tired anymore; he just wanted to watch the night. The night that reminded him so much of the boy lying inside the cabin. Gods, everything reminded Leo of him. The moon's pretty face was nothing compared to Nico’s, the trees swaying in the wind were pretty but not like Nico’s hair. Like baby wings it flutters around his ears gradually getting longer towards the back. Whenever he puts it up Leo kisses the back of his neck until he pushes him off. He never does but Leo’s always scared he will. People get tired of Leo or they leave him. And it was always his fault, especially in cases where things were going so good and he was happy. Like his mom.. Dreams of fire brought him out here on the porch of cabin 13 in the first place. Looking out into the night keeps him cool, no chance of burning up the only thing keeping him sane right now. Gods even when he’s panicking he’s thinking of Nico. Shaking his head with a smile Leo could feel his eyes get hot with tears. He’s going to screw it up, he’s going to let it slip. Everytime he sees Nico he wants to pull him close just so he can whisper how much he needs him. Tears slip out and Leo can feel his hands getting antsy, he wants to hold onto something but he was sure it would burn up if he did. He always runs dangerously warm whenever he’s distressed. Great now he’s actually crying..at least the tears aren’t turning into steam the second they fell. Hearing the creak of the door Leo didn’t need to turn to know who it was. He glanced at the doorway only to see a large bundle of blankets move towards him. His heart stopped for a second, till he saw a tuft of black hair and a tired face emerge from the mass of blankets. What a beautiful face it was, Leo couldn’t keep the ever growing grin off his face.
“Buenos días baby, what woke you?” Leo whispered giddily. He kinda loved being up with Nico in the early hours, it felt like the world stopped and it was just them.
“Same reason you're out probably. Buongiorno Leo” He leaned his against the mass of blankets closest to the doorway, he always looked right through Leo. But gods, his accent was just so perfect in the morning.
“You’re crying, perché?” This woke Nico up immediately, he quickly (or as quickly as a bundle of blankets can) stumbled to Leo's side. Extracting a hand from its wrapings it was quickly met with the morning's chilly air, but the second he put his hand on Leo’s soft face he was warm again. He has the handsomest hand warmer doesn’t he, Nico couldn’t help but think so. Feeling the coolness of the hand on his face started those gut feelings again, Nico’s thumb brushed against already drying tear tracts and all Leo could do to shut himself up was lean further into the hand and softly kiss his palm. Looking at Nico for any sign of resistance all he saw was the same fond look he probably had. Gods they really had to stop looking at each other in silence, this why people were surprised they are even together.
“Stop looking at me creep.” Leo finally said with a watery smile. Nico did that funny little annoyed exhale
“It’s hard to stop when the snot trails on the floor lead right to you.” That got Leo to finally laugh.
“Shut up asshole I am crying, make me feel better.” This is why he loves him, gods he’s so perfect when it comes to things like this. Nobodys ever dealt with his breakdowns with this much ease. But then again everything was easy when it came down to loving Nico Di Angelo.
“You’re so demanding, miele.” Nico said through a smile as he went to sit down in the knit hammock Leo put on the porch shortly after their secret morning meetings became the norm. Another sign of Leo slowly but surely changing the way people saw cabin 13. Leo felt his insides turn to mush and his heart softened, he loves when he calls him names just as much as when they insult each other(and in that accent, oh he’s down bad , so very bad). Leo shifted his weight from foot to foot.
“Am not, you're just a meanie, this is emotional harassment.” Nico looked very comfortable as he leaned on his hands to look at Leo with a gorgeous smirk, raised eyebrow and all (wow Leo really was affecting him huh?).
“Sounds to me like you can’t dish what you take huh? I recall last week when I shadow traveled into a wall and someone had the audacity to laugh? I wonder who that was?” Nico looked off into the night and couldn’t stop the smile from spreading as he heard Leo’s attempts to keep his laughter to a minimum.
“That's just funny Nico, I'm so sorry to say you found the bread and butter of comedy baby. Pretty boys running into walls is just funny.” Leo whispered through giggles at Nico’s expense. Smiling Nico could finally see those perfect dimples appear on the cheeks of his beloved.
“Sit with me?” Leo looked hesitant before he decided to sit next to where Nico layed on the hammock. He sat up on the other end by his feet, only slightly rocking the hammock he brought Nicos legs into his lap. Nico loved that Leo always had to have some sort of grasp on him, yeah maybe it’s a trauma response but it reminds Nico how much Leo also needs him. Like he wasn’t the only one with these needly little habits, gods Leo was really created just for Nico wasn’t he? Well worn hands gently kneaded the inner sole of his foot, it kinda tickled.
“I wish we were like this on the Argo ll, I wish things didn’t play out the way they did? Is that fucked?” On the outside it may have looked like a simple question but Nico knew the internal implications of that statement. How much the war would have changed due to them being together, hell Leo probably wouldn’t have died (he would have, if anyone was going to die Leo was going to make sure it was him).
“No, it’s not fucked. But I don’t think either of us were in the loving state of mind.” Nico said with a sigh towards the sky. The nights on the Argo ll were cold and he resented most of the crew at that point. He really was insufferable then. Leo finally looked up and chuckled hopelessly.
“Yeah we were both kinda shitty, in your defense you were kinda trapped in a jar.” Nico turned towards Leo unamused.
“Kinda trapped?” Leo smiled
“very kinda trapped” Nico rolled his eyes.
“No matter how cute you word it I was still trapped in a jar, a fucking jar amore mio. Do you know how embarrassing that is? I don’t even want to think about it, trauma aside.” Leo stopped listening after mio. His . Gods if he knew how much that rang true.
“I don’t know, even after I saw you almost die I was still an ass to you so I think my first impression was way more embarrassing. Like you were literally trying to live and 15 year old me was convinced you where going to murder me in my sleep.”
“I definitely wanted to.”
“Yea- hey you were supposed to say something nice” Leo huffed. “Oh so that's how this goes?” Nico loved these little moments. It really showed just how similar they were, he wanted to hold this feeling in his bones. And be buried with the memories of the saccharine emotions Leo seemed to always bring about.
“Yup I say something stupid and you laugh at me and tell me I’m the funniest, sweetest man you have ever met. And that you will never leave me.” Shit the last part didn’t even feel like a joke anymore, it wasn’t. Nico looked up at him with an almost uncertain expression. Laying in the hammock had left his hair wild and tangled around his head. Escaping the warmth of the blanket cocoon, his face let the chill of the morning air kiss his cheeks softly with a dusting of pink around his face and cold nose.
“I love you Leo. I love you and I need you next to me every night. I hate waking up and not having you fill the silence. You get me, right?”
Nico could feel his heart beating in his ears. Leo was always better at talking about things like this but Nico knew he had to get this out now. They had been tiptoeing the line for awhile and he needs to know it isn't just him. Leo felt his heart was in his throat, yeah he got it.
“Nico…you’re it for me.”
“Yeah?”
Nico smiled of course Leo didn’t have the words right now. They were such contrarians sometimes. It was part of them. Leo looked a little more collected as he started making his way up the hammock to Nico.
“Yeah. You really made everything that led me to this moment so worth it.” Leo let himself rest on top of Nico’s chest just looking up at him.
“I’m so soft on you baby, I love everything that ever reminds me of you. And trust me, it’s a lot.” Leo whispered with a watery sort of tone.
“Amore mio per favore.” Nico felt the heat rising to his eyes, gods they really needed this.
“Cariño, mi angelito. I’m never going to recover from you. It’s sickening how much I need you Nico.” Leo cupped his face with his warm callused hands. Nico put his hands over Leo’s and smiled.
“Please never recover, I want to keep you Leo. I want to keep this feeling. Ti amo tanto.” Leo leaned up on his arms to stare back into his lover's dark eyes. Gods he’s so fucking lucky it’s not even funny.
Nico smiled a little “Stop looking at me creep.”
“Te amo angelito mio.”
Every word was emphasized by light kisses against his lips. Even in intimate moments like this Leo couldn’t stop telling him how much he loved him, Nico reveled it. Every reassurance hit right where it was supposed to, he let himself weave his hands into the rough curly hair of his carissimo. His amore. In the softest hours of the morning they held onto each other, as the sky's dark blue was washed away with shades of yellow and pink they held each other's emotions closer than before. They fell asleep to the sounds of the lake and the soft chirping of the birds in the summer's early rise.