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Macaroni In A Pot...Well, You Know The Rest

Summary:

Sometimes, Kate thinks she should have a documentary made about her life. She'd call it: Chaotic Snapshots In The Life Of Kate Bishop. How else could she explain how she got railed in the bathroom of a karaoke bar by her mate, or how she managed to get Yelena sexually excited every time the Alpha makes macaroni?

Notes:

Well, guys, here it is. The long-awaited crack fic that a lot of you have been asking for! It was actually a great way to reimmerse myself in writing after my month-long break. It's not as long as the other more recent installments of the series but that's okay because that 22k one really killed me. However, this fic is over 10k words, which I always strive for as a minimum word count.
A few notes before we begin:
1. I'm going to scare you guys a little at the beginning but don't worry! Even though this is a crack fic I still have to set up future installments haha.
2. I recommend you listen to "16 Shots" by Stefflon Don before you read. It's the song Sonya will be rapping for her karaoke debut. The song is new to me but I love the beat and I personally think it fits Sonya's vibe. That being said, I mean no disrespect in my usage of the song in this fic. I don't think that will be an issue but just in case. Also, recommend listening to the song while Sonya does her thing on stage lol.
3. Annnnnnd keep your eyes peeled for those easter eggs! There are a few in here!
4. Enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Yelena’s arms tightened around the shivering mass in her arms. She was huddled in a small room doused in red light; the concrete walls seemed to close in on her as she tried to calm the girl in her arms.

“It’s okay, Kate,” whispered Yelena. “I’ll get us out of here.”

Kate whimpered and shuffled closer to the blonde, the Omega rubbed her cheek against Yelena’s mating mark and softly wrapped her teeth around the gland. Yelena copied her mate’s movement as she felt a powerful shudder travel down the archer’s spine.

The Alpha did her best to temper her own growing panic and fear. She knew where she was, she knew what purpose this room had. It was where the Red Room executed insubordinate Widows; but how did she and Kate get here?

Yelena heard the creek of rusted metal from down the hall and hurriedly maneuvered Kate to the far corner of the room. The blonde pulled back to look at her mate and froze. Kate was silently crying into a bundle of blankets. The fabric was bloody and so was the loose fabric of the Omega’s pants, the blood stain started from Kate’s crotch and dripped down the pant leg. What had happened to her mate and when did she get those blankets?

The door behind Yelena suddenly crashed open and a thick fog traveled into the room, followed by a tall, bone-thin man, who had to duck through the doorway to avoid hitting his head.

“Who are you?” Yelena screamed at him.

The man did not answer, they never did, he only motioned for more armed guards to enter the room and spread out around the perimeter.

Yelena stood protectively in front of her Omega and pushed her further into the corner so the two walls would provide cover.

The man nodded at the guards and they seized the Alpha by her arms and threw her to the ground. Yelena snarled and moved to stand and fight but a heavy blow to the back of her head had her falling again. She heard a sharp scream from behind her and tried to scramble upright once more.

“Kate!” she screamed, blindly shuffling to her mate. The hit to the head had affected her eyesight and the Alpha couldn’t see clearly. A different scream pierced the air and Yelena’s heart stopped, she couldn’t breathe, she blinked rapidly, willing the fogginess of her vision to clear. That had been the cry of a baby. The bloody blankets in her mate’s arms, the blood dripping from her thighs…it was her baby!

Yelena’s vision cleared to see Kate sitting on the ground, her face now bloody, her body trembling and what was inside the bundle of fabric had finally been revealed. A newborn with a blonde tuft of hair and blue eyes. Their baby.

A gunshot rang in the air and blood splattered the walls.

“NO!”

Yelena’s eyes snapped open before squeezing shut as the brightness of the room assaulted her corneas. The Alpha inhaled a shuddering breath as she willed her heart rate to slow. She brought the small pillow she was holding to her chest and squeezed it with all her strength. Salty liquid leaked from her scrunched eyelids as the Alpha took in another shaky inhale. Yelena buried her face into the pillow and practiced the breathing exercises she had taught Kate.

Inhale for three. Hold for four. Exhale for three.

The Russian’s heart continued to beat frantically in her chest and no amount of breathing seemed to change that.

The Red Room is gone, the Red Room is gone, the blonde chanted to herself. The mantra she always repeated to herself in times of distress failed to calm Yelena’s now rapid breathing. Natasha and I destroyed Dreykov, she tried again.

This new mantra only brought a painful twinge to the Alpha’s chest at the thought of her sister, and a raging fury in her veins at the thought of the General who had taken everything from her. Yelena growled helplessly into her pillow. She hated feeling like this, out of control and helpless. A new image flashed into her mind, a baby with blonde hair and startling blue eyes. She knew, in her nightmare, that had been her and Kate’s child and she had failed to protect both her mate and her baby.

The blonde’s chest rose and fell at such a high speed that Yelena thought she may pass out. The fear of once more returning to the realm of unconsciousness was the only thing that kept the Alpha’s eyes open.

Yelena startled when a long arm wrapped itself around her waist, she tightened every muscle in her body to stop herself from knocking it away. The Alpha heard the body behind her shuffle lazily until Kate had pressed her front to the Alpha’s back, the Omega placed her head in the crook of Yelena’s neck and latched onto her mating bite. Kate fit her teeth perfectly within the still healing mark and suckled heavily.

The Russian felt her body go limp at her mate’s action. Her heart rate slowed, her breathing leveled out, and her tight muscles uncoiled themselves as the Alpha sagged, weightless, into the mattress. Yelena pressed her head more firmly into her pillow to give Kate more access to her neck and blearily blinked her eyes open. The clock on their nightstand read nine in the morning and Yelena sighed contently. Never in her life, did the blonde ever think she’d be able to sleep past six at the latest. The Red Room made all the Widows rise at five am sharp, then after she was freed and had escaped, nightmares kept her up throughout the night. Yelena was lucky if she even got two hours of sleep and her mind would never let her stay asleep when there was daylight streaming into the room.

That had all changed the moment she first helped Kate through her heat. The Alpha had never experienced that much pleasure before. Besides Natasha, she had never met anyone she gravitated toward so readily, but Kate was special. At first, Yelena could hardly believe that the Omega wanted the Russian to touch her, to care for her, to be inside her.

Yelena shivered at the thought.

The Red Room had a very degrading way of punishing Alphas. They would chain them to a wall, inject them with some form of medication that would force Alpha’s to become erect, pull down their pants, and hit their erect length with a varying number of objects. Yelena, who was admittedly a bit larger than other Alpha’s, was subjugated to this punishment more than the others. She had once messed up a mission so bad that Madame B had whipped Yelena's erect length with a belt, and made sure the metal buckle made contact repeatedly with her length.

The young blonde had screamed until her voice was hoarse. Yelena thought the pain was going to kill her and for a week she wished she actually had died. Going to the bathroom was almost worse than the actual punishment. The pain was so sharp and nauseating that she would vomit every time she released her bloody urine into the toilet bowl.

Perhaps that’s why she loved being inside Kate so much. The Alpha remembered the first time Kate had clenched around her knot during that fateful heat and Yelena knew then that she would never want to let go of this. She could never lose Kate Bishop.

As if she knew what Yelena was thinking about, the archer sunk her teeth deeper into the Alpha’s neck and gave a harsh suck.

Yelena jerked at the action and she wrapped her fingers tightly against Kate’s wrist. Her Omega’s pulse was slow and steady and the Alpha could tell that her mate was still asleep, suckling happily, and a bit sloppily at the mating mark on the blonde’s neck. A deep purr started to resonate in the Omega’s chest and Yelena figured this was comforting Kate as much as it was her. The Alpha let the sound and sensation of her mate lull her into a deep comfort, the horror of her dream suddenly felt a million miles away.

The Russian sighed heavily and released her Omega’s wrist when Kate gave another powerful suck. As nice as the action felt, the Alpha knew the archer could accidentally rupture one of Yelena’s blood vessels by digging too deep into her scent gland and sucking too harshly. Yelena really didn’t want to deal with a ruptured blood vessel today, so, she reached back and pressed her thumb gently into the joint by her mate’s ear that connected to her jaw.

Kate’s mouth instantly released Yelena’s neck and the Omega whined tiredly before sleepily burying her face in the sheets.

The Alpha grimaced as the cold air hit the drying saliva on her neck but she simply wiped it away with her hand and turned to face a still sleeping Kate. The Omega had a cute frown on her lips and she nosed the sheets that her face was pressed into, her hands clenched the pillow she was holding before releasing it and grumbled.

Yelena smiled and carefully tucked a stray strand of raven hair behind her Omega’s ear.

“Eight pages,” Kate mumbled indignantly, still very much asleep.

The Alpha’s brows raised as she studied her sleeping mate. This was the first time Kate had talked in her sleep.

The archer’s leg twitched. “Cyber security,” she said. “Dumb paper.”

Yelena watched in amusement as her Omega scrunched her brows and bit the comforter in frustration. “Are you dreaming about school, Kate Bishop?” the blonde asked wistfully. She hoped Kate never had to experience the kind of dreams she had. Yelena hoped her mate never had to wake up screaming from horrid night terrors and that the worst of her dreams would be about cyber security. Green eyes trailed down from Kate’s face to her stomach. The image of the infant from her dream flashed in the Alpha’s mind.

Blue eyes snapped open and Kate sat up so quickly, that the Omega lost her balance and almost flopped off the bed before Yelena caught her mate by her arms.

“Kate!” worried Yelena. “What is the matter?”

“I have a paper,” heaved Kate. “It’s due tomorrow and it's thirty percent of my grade! I haven’t even started!”

Yelena reached up and held her Omega’s face in her hands. The blonde rested her forehead against her mates for a moment before wrapping Kate in her arms. “I will make us breakfast and then you will start your paper, alright?”

The archer nodded and rested her chin on her Alpha’s shoulder. “Can you make french toast?” Kate asked sleepily.

Yelena hummed. “Yes, I can make french toast.”

“With the strawberries on top?”

The Russian smiled and tightened her arms around her mate. “Yes, with the strawberries.” She paused for a moment. “Do you need me to make the tea again?” she asked quietly.

Kate shook her head and pulled away. “Your rut ended a week ago, yesterday was the last day I had to drink it.”

“Are you sure?” Yelena asked hesitantly. The baby in her dream came again to her conscious mind and the Alpha felt a spike of fear hit her.

The Omega tilted her head and studied the blonde. “Yes,” she said carefully as she pumped out soothing pheromones. “Are you okay?”

Yelena swallowed heavily but settled as she felt her mate’s scent wash over her. “I’m fine, I just had a dream is all.”

“A bad one?” Kate asked.

The Alpha nodded; her throat had closed too tightly to be able to speak. Yelena placed her hand on the archer’s stomach and thought about the what-ifs. What if one day she did get Kate pregnant? What if she couldn’t protect them? What if she was a terrible sire and the child hated her? What if she mistreated Kate and her Omega grew to hate her?

“Hey,” coaxed the archer as she dipped her head to meet her Alpha’s eyes. “I know you still want to wait to have a child but if we do have one, I know you’re going to be the best sire,” Kate said sincerely. “Please don’t doubt yourself.”

Yelena leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss on the Omega’s lips. “What if I can’t protect you or the pup?”

Kate placed her palm on the Russian’s cheek and used her thumb to rub soothing circles into her skin. “We talked about this. We will protect our pup together. That responsibility doesn’t fall solely onto you.”

Yelena nodded and kissed Kate again but the archer could tell that her Alpha was not totally convinced of that notion.

“Come, Kate Bishop,” said the blonde as she pulled away and stood from the bed. Let us go make breakfast.”

 

____________

 

“I don’t wanna write this paper!” wailed Kate from her spot on the sofa.

“It is thirty percent of your grade,” Yelena reminded from the kitchen as she finished drying the dishes.

“Ugh,” said the Omega as she flopped her head onto the back of the couch. “I should never have told you that.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be an expert in cyber security?” Yelena asked cheekily. “You are a CEO of a security company after all.”

Kate sighed and continued typing. “Doesn’t mean I want to write about it,” she mumbled.

The silence in the apartment was filled with the sounds of Yelena putting the dishes away and the clacking of the archer’s laptop keys. The Omega had just gotten into a steady rhythm when her phone rang, interrupting the serene quietness of the apartment.

“No,” the blonde said as she saw her mate reach for the phone. “Finish your paper.”

Kate looked over her shoulder and pouted at her Alpha. “It’s just Greer,” she said as the set ringtone of Afro Circus from Madagascar 3 filled the apartment. “You know she’ll just keep calling and calling until I answer.”

The Russian rolled her eyes. “Okay,” she relented.

The Omega smiled brightly. “Thanks, love you!” said Kate as she answered and put the phone on speaker. She heard Yelena ‘mhm’ behind her.

“Kate!” screamed Greer from the other end of the line. “Has Yelena ever done karaoke?”

The archer glanced behind her to find her mate frozen, arm poised to place a dish back on a shelf, eyebrows scrunched together, and her lips silently sounded out the word ‘karaoke.’

“Sonya says she hasn’t,” said Greer as she continued to speak in Kate’s silence. “So tomorrow, we’re all going out to that karaoke bar by my place and shake our tail feathers.”

Kate watched as Yelena now sounded out ‘tail feathers.’ She chuckled into the phone, “sounds like a plan.”

The Alpha’s eyes locked with her mates. “You better have that paper finished before then, Kate Bishop,” said Yelena as she darkened her tone on her Omega’s name.

Damn, why does that do things to me?

“Kate, I literally just heard you orgasm,” Greer stated amusedly over the phone.

“Shut the hell up,” said Kate, a blush rising furiously to her cheeks. “I did not!” She redirected her attention to her mate, “and it’ll get done, geez.”

Yelena smirked at the archer and shrugged her shoulders then finished putting away the dishes.

“Kate,” said Greer excitedly. “I think it’s time you and I perform our special song.”

The Omega grinned mischievously and darted her eyes at her mate once more. “Mouths will be dropped.”

Greer cackled. “Panties wet!”

“Dicks erect!”

“Kate!” yelled Yelena.

“What?” the Omega asked innocently as she turned and saw her Alpha staring at her suspiciously.

“Welp,” said Greer, and Kate could tell she was holding in her bellowing laugh. “I gotta go but I’ll see you and Yelena tomorrow! Remember to finish that paper.”

The archer scoffed. “I’ll get it done.”

The two Omega’s said goodbye and Kate hung up the phone.

The Russian came into the room and sat in the purple Papasan Kate had recently purchased, a thick book in her hand. “What is this song you and Greer will be singing?”

The Omega bit her lip to stop her smile from spreading on her lips and shrugged. “Don’t worry about it,” she said as she started typing quickly on her laptop. Now that she had a goal in mind, finishing this paper was going to be easier than stealing candy from a baby.

Yelena narrowed her eyes. “I can feel your mischief, Kate Bishop.”

Shit, I forgot to dampen my scent. Kate paused her typing and looked at her mate over her laptop. The Alpha had cracked open her book but her piercing green eyes did not scan the pages, instead opting to flick back and forth on Kate’s face.

The archer smiled. “Well, I know how much you love surprises. Who am I to spoil this one for you?”

The blonde pursed her lips. “Karaoke is where you sing pop songs without the lyrics?”

The Omega’s smile softened as she looked at her mate. “It doesn’t always have to be pop songs. They have a wide range of selections to choose from.”

“And I have to sing in front of strangers?”

“You don’t have to, but don’t worry, everyone is drunk anyway so it doesn’t matter,” Kate reassured.

Yelena stared for a few moments longer but eventually, she hummed and focused on reading her book.  

The archer exhaled softly and smirked at her computer screen. If Kate played her cards right, she was going to get Yelena to fuck her in the bar’s bathroom before tomorrow night was over.

 

The first step in Kate’s plan was to text Sonya to help her start hitting her mate with some subliminal messages. Though, now that the Omega thinks about it, they probably aren’t very subliminal at all.

Feisty Kat: How do you say macaroni in a pot, that’s some wet ass pussy in Russian?

The Sun to My Yuh: lmao! makarony v kastryule, eto kakaya-to mokraya zadnitsa. Why?

Feisty Kat: Thank you, I have a plan and this is valuable information.

The Sun to My Yuh: does it involve seducing Yelena?

Feisty Kat: …maybe.

The Sun to My Yuh: good luck my sexy padawan.

Feisty Kat: Greer showed you Star Wars?

The Sun to My Yuh: …maybe.

Kate glanced over at Yelena who was dutifully making a fun lunch of mac and cheese but instead of the boxed version, the Russian was trying her hand at a homemade gourmet recipe.

The archer plugged her headphones into her phone, put Sonya’s Russian into google translate and listen as the robotic voice pronounced it three times.

Easy, Kate thought. The Omega hopped off the couch and made her way to stand next to Yelena and watched her as she cooked. “It smells good,” Kate said enthusiastically. “When will it be ready?”

“Don’t worry, Kate Bishop,” Yelena said as she pat her mate’s arm. “I will not let you starve. I need to mix in the grated cheese and then it will be done.”

The Alpha dropped in the cheese and started to stir. Kate was thrilled when a wet squelching sound could be heard as the dairy mixed with the noodles. The Omega hummed low in her throat. “Makarony v kastryule, eto kakaya-to mokraya zadnitsa.”

The wooden spoon the blonde had been using clanged against the side of the pot, tipped over, and clattered onto the floor. “What?” Yelena asked, aghast. “What did you mean to say? In English, what did you mean to say?”

Kate bit the inside of her cheek to keep her lips frozen in a thin line. She looked up from the pot and tilted her head innocently at her mate. “Huh?”

“What did you say about the macaroni?” Yelena asked again as her voice rose slightly higher in pitch.

“Oh,” said Kate as she took a spoon from the utensil drawer and dipped it into a noodle. She pulled some out of the pot, blew on it, and shoved it into her mouth. “Mmmmm,” she moaned in delight. “It’s really good, super creamy. Well, let me know when you’re finished. I’m going to put some final touches on my paper.”

As Kate turned away from a very bewildered Yelena, the Omega heard a quiet “fuck” behind her and Kate definitely did not miss the slight bulge in the front of her mate’s pants.

 

____________

 

“Are you ready to throw down, Bishop!” screamed Greer as Kate and Yelena walked towards Sonya, Franny, and Greer as they stood on the sidewalk outside of Franny’s apartment.

“Bitch,” Kate hollered, elongating the I vowel in the word. “You won’t be able to get back up, Hawthorne!”

The other Omega placed her hand on her chest, feigning offense. “Challenge excepted, Dirty Diva.”

The archer, who had been holding Yelena’s hand, gave her mate’s fingers a squeeze before releasing her hand and skipping to her best friends. “This bar isn’t ready to handle Frivolous Fran, Gyrating G, and the Dirty Diva all at once!”

Yelena fell into step with Sonya as the two Alpha’s trailed after the three friends who skipped together down the sidewalk in the direction of the bar. “What is a Gyrating G?” asked Yelena, puzzled.

Sonya gave a long-suffering sigh. “I believe that would be Greer.”

“Why is Kate a Dirty Diva?”

The archer must have heard her mate because she turned around and started walking backward, a grin on her face. “Don’t worry Yel,” Kate said loudly, her voice echoing down the street. “It’s just our stripper names!”

“Stripper?” both Sonya and Yelena yelled incredulously.

The trio cackled and continued trotting towards the bar.

“Greer is going to get it when we get back,” whispered Sonya, and Yelena was inclined to agree about Kate as well.

The blonde watched as Kate hopped around her friends, her Omega had worn a short skirt which accentuated her curves nicely. She wore a sleeveless tank top tucked into the waistband of the skirt and wedge heels which gave her backside just enough lift to tantalize the Russian. Yelena noticed Greer wore a very similar outfit and remembered they were supposed to sing a song together.

“Do you know what song Kate and Greer are going to be singing?” asked Yelena as she continued to watch her mate.

She saw Sonya shrug in her peripherals. “Greer won’t tell me, just that it’s a surprise and I will like it.”

The blonde Alpha pouted.

Sonya noticed. “Oh, cheer up little Elena! The big bad koshka can not always get her way.”

Yelena reached up, quickly thread her fingers through the hair on the back of Sonya’s head, and pushed forward so the brunette’s head slammed against a passing lamp post.

“Cyka!” screamed Sonya. “What the hell was that?” she asked astounded as she rubbed the sore spot on her temple.

“That,” said Yelena as she continued onward, not once faltering, “is for tripping me on my way out of the club last week and I am not a koshka!”

Sonya smacked her friend on the arm. “Would you stop punishing me! Have you not noticed that my schemes get you what you want?”

The blonde smirked. “I have,” she said simply.

“Ty ublyudok,” spat Sonya and flipped Yelena off for good measure.

“Careful,” tutted Yelena. “I could break that finger.”

“I could break all of your fingers!”

“Guy’s, we’re here!” Franny said excitedly from the entrance to the bar.

The group showed the bouncer their IDs, Sonya’s and Yelena’s being fake, of course, and made their way into the club. It was eleven at night and the bar was surprisingly full for a Wednesday, the crowd cheering on a group of guys who were singing Sweet Caroline. Kate, Greer, and Franny quickly sang along to the “bum, bum, bum,” when the guy pointed the microphone to the crowd.

“I’m going to go tell the DJ what song to play for us,” said Greer. “Sonya, I’ll tell him what you’re going to sing too.”

Yelena glanced at her friend. “You are going to sing?”

Sonya shrugged her shoulders confidently. “Just once to say that I have done karaoke. What are you going to sing?”

The blonde looked around apprehensively. There were a lot more people here than she thought there’d be. Her stomach twisted itself in knots as she noticed the crowd staring transfixed at the singers. They didn’t look at all as drunk as Kate said they’d be.

Yelena felt Sonya place a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You do not have to sing if you do not want to,” the brunette said firmly. “Just enjoy yourself.”

The Alpha nodded but the tension only left her body when Kate once more laced their fingers together and pressed a lingering kiss to her mate’s cheek.

“I got us reserved seating towards the front,” said Franny as she winked at Kate. “I’ll go get us some shots while you guys grab the table.”

Greer met them at the table and they arranged the seating so Sonya and Yelena were sitting closest to the stage and Kate, Greer, and Franny were seated around the back of the table. The blonde Russian had started to protest this arrangement as that left Kate’s position open and vulnerable but Sonya slapped a hand over her mouth and silenced her with a look.

Franny returned with a tray of shots and passed two to each member of the group. “Here’s some liquid courage,” the Beta announced while downing both of hers in one go.

“Oh shit!” exclaimed Greer. “Frivolous Fran is here!”

Kate and Greer hooted in delight and copied their friend’s actions by downing the two shots together. Greer immediately gagged and Kate’s eyes watered.

“That was not a good idea,” the archer choked.

Yelena leaned slightly into Sonya so she could be heard over the screeching of two college girls trying to sing Let It Go. “Can Greer hold her liquor?”

Sonya stared at the Omega in question, a resigned look on her features. “No, can Kate?”

“No,” said Yelena as she smoothly downed her own two shots, one after the other.

“It’s like you’re just drinking water,” Kate croaked.

The Alpha reached over to pat her mate’s hand.

“Alright folks, our next singer is Sexy Sonya,” announced the DJ as he tried to hold in his laugh. “She will be singing 16 Shots!”

Sonya whipped her head towards Greer and snarled, “Sexy Sonya?”

The Omega blew a kiss to the brunette Russian. “Enjoy your new stripper name!”

The brunette pinched the bridge of her nose as if to fend off a growing headache but she walked up the stage and took the mic from the DJ. Silence overtook the crowd as they waited for the song to begin, Sonya kept her head bowed and stood straight as a pencil.

Then the first beat of the song hit the speakers and Sonya dropped into a crouch and started singing.

“No gyal can tell me 'bout my mother

16 shot, we go longer than a ladder

Dem nuh fi talk 'bout the real don dada

Put body inna pot dem a bun like grabba

No boy can diss me or my mother

Round here ain't safe, everybody need armor

16 shot, we go shotta any bluddah

Rah-ta, rah-ta

Ka-kah, ka-kah, ka-kah

Rah-ka-ka-ka-ka-rahh!”

The entire room leapt to their feet and cheered Sonya on as she lowered her voice into a hum. Greer had been correct in her stripper name because right now Sonya was sexy as hell. The Alpha moved her body with the beat, almost appearing to do a jazzier version of the robot but the beat soon picked up to incorporate drums and Sonya moved her hips and waist to match the beat.

“You couldn't be badder than a King-stony

Diss my mother then your skin start bleed

So don't bother mess with my mommy

With my mommy, with my mommy

Baby, tink you bad, say ya badder than she

If dog a-go bark, long time dem doh eat

Rap on, pop off, make you move like freak

They say dem a gangsta, but so is mommy

They gon' put hands on a chick

They gon' put hands on her

Eyes watchin' when I comin' through the door

What I'mma do, they ain't prepared for!”

“That’s my Alpha!” screamed Greer as she joined the crowd who had all gotten up to dance to the song. Sonya matched rhythm and pitch perfectly and threw a wink in the Omega’s direction at the comment.

The beat pounded three times and Sonya swiveled her hips to each one.

“No gyal can tell me 'bout my mother

16 shot, we go longer than a ladder

Dem nuh fi talk 'bout the real don dada

Put body inna pot dem a bun like grabba

No boy can diss me or my mother

Round here ain't safe, everybody need armor

16 shot, we go shotta any bluddah

Rah-ta, rah-ta

Ka-kah, ka-kah, ka-kah

Rah-ka-ka-ka-ka-rahh!”

Sonya started walking in place to the beat and the crowd started up a chant of “Sexy Sonya!”

Yelena laughed and joined in on the cheer as she watched her friend strut around the stage.

“You couldn't be madder than Bryant, Kobe

Diss my mother then your lip won't speak

So don't bother mess with my mommy

With my mommy, with my mommy

Jah really think you bad, say you badder than me

If things a-go start tonight, you won't sleep

Pop on, cut off, make ya look like creep

Dem say dem a bad gyal, but gyal dem nuh be

They gon' put hands on a chick

They gon' put hands on her

Eyes watchin' when I comin' through the door

What I'mma do, they ain't prepared for!”

Yelena sat shocked as Sonya started popping and locking to the rhythm. She threw her hand up and down as she rapped the next verse.

“No gyal can tell me 'bout my mother

16 shot, we go longer than a ladder

Dem nuh fi talk 'bout the real don dada

Put body inna pot dem a bun like grabba

No boy can diss me or my mother

Round here ain't safe, everybody need armor

16 shot, we go shotta any bluddah

Rah-ta, rah-ta

Ka-kah, ka-kah, ka-kah

Rah-ka-ka-ka-ka-rahh!”

Sonya danced and sang the final verses, even jerking her body when two gunshots rang out from the speakers. Yelena had no idea her friend could dance that well nor rap like a well-known rap artist but she was pleasantly surprised. The blonde studied her friend's face and noticed how carefree she looked, like all her troubles and bad memories had melted away as she raged the words into the microphone.

Sonya soon finished the song and bowed as the bar erupted into raucous cheers and applause.

“Thank you!” Sonya said into the microphone then she looked down at Greer and pointed. “That was for you, baby.”

Franny had to catch the Omega as she pretended to faint by actually buckling her knees and falling.

“What a performance!” said the DJ as the Russian handed the microphone back to him. “Let’s see if our next two singers can beat that as they duet their next song: WAP. Please welcome to the stage Gyrating G and Dirty Diva!”

“Wap?” asked Yelena in confusion. “What’s a wap?”

Kate simply smiled and kissed her mate soundly on the mouth before she left to take the stage.

Sonya rose her eyebrows as she retook her seat and noticed Yelena’s befuddled expression. “You’ve never heard this song before?”

The blonde shook her head. “No, have you?”

The brunette chuckled and took another shot. “Strap in for a wild ride.”

“What?” asked Yelena but her attention refocused on the stage as the DJ handed two microphones to Greer and Kate. The two Omegas took center stage, smirked at each other, and waited for the music to start.

Through the speakers, Yelena heard…

Whores in this house

There's some whores in this house

There's some whores in this house

There's some whores in this house

Yelena’s eyebrows rose so high on her head that they seemed to disappear into her hairline.

Greer started first. “I said certified freak, seven days a week

Wet ass pussy, make that pullout game weak, woo!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Sonya screamed and pointed at the Omega. “You got that right, baby!”

Kate’s lips stretched in a sinful grin and locked eyes directly with her Alpha as she sang the next lyrics.

“Yeah, you fucking with some wet ass pussy

Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy

Give me everything you got for this wet ass pussy!”

Yelena’s eyes popped.

Greer took over. “Beat it up, Alpha, catch a charge

Extra large and extra hard

Put this pussy right in yo' face

Swipe your nose like a credit card!”

Kate stepped forward, dropped into a squat, and started to bounce as she sang, “Hop on top, I want a ride

I do a kegel while it's inside

Spit in my mouth, look at my eyes

This pussy is wet, come take a dive!”

Yelena felt herself twitch as she knew exactly what Kate’s kegel muscles felt like

Greer continued. “Tie me up like I'm surprised

Let's role-play, I wear a disguise!”

Kate ran to the edge of the stage and angled her hips towards her mate and pointed to her own crotch.

“I want you to park that big Mack truck right in this little garage

Make it cream, make me scream

Out in public, make a scene

I don't cook, I don't clean

But let me tell you, I got this ring!”

Yelena’s jaw dropped.

Kate and Greer started singing in tandem as they both turned and started twerking.

“Gobble me, swallow me, drip down the side of me

Quick, jump out 'fore you let it get inside of me

I tell ‘em where to put it, never tell ‘em where I'm 'bout to be

I run down on ‘em 'fore I have an Alpha running me

Talk yo' shit, bite your lip

Ask for a car while you ride that dick

You ain't never gotta fuck her for a thing

She already made her mind up 'fore she came.”

“Oh, gosh,” Yelena whispered as she unconsciously squeezed her hardening length. She watched as Kate’s skirt did little to tame the way her backside bounced up and down. The Alpha had to make sure she wasn’t drooling on herself.

The two Omegas stood and hopped around the stage as Greer sang into the mic.

“Now get your boots and your coat for this wet ass pussy

She bought a phone just for pictures of this wet ass pussy

Pay my tuition just to kiss me on this wet ass pussy

Now make it rain if you wanna see some wet ass pussy!”

Kate did a one-handed handstand, mic still pressed to her lips, before she dropped down and grinded against the floor of the stage.

Yelena shot up from her chair but so did the rest of the bar as they cheered on Kate and Greer with loud whoops.

Kate continued.

“Look, I need a hard hitter, I need a deep stroke

I need a Henny drink, I need a weed smoker

Not a garden snake, I need a king cobra

With a hook in it, hope it lean over.” The archer finished with a wink at her Alpha.

Greer swayed her hips as Kate stood back on her feet and sang,

“She got some money, then that's where I'm headed

Pussy A-1, just like her credit

She got some hair, well, I'm tryna wet it

I let her taste it, and now she diabetic!”

Sonya had also started to sport her own bulge at the front of her pants but she either didn’t notice or didn’t care as she jumped up and down. “Tell ‘em!”

Kate once again came to the edge of the stage and squatted right in front of Yelena. The Omega stopped inches from the Russian's face and said,

“I don't wanna spit, I wanna gulp

I wanna gag, I wanna choke

I want you to touch that lil' dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat!” The archer opened her mouth wide, stuck out her tongue, and shook it back and forth.

“Fuck,” said Yelena as she reached out to touch her Omega but Kate pulled back and continued singing.

“My head game is fire, punani Dasani

It's going in dry, and it's coming out soggy

I ride on that thing like the cops is behind me

I spit on this mic' and now she tryna sign me, woo!”

Greer hopped down into the crowd and pushed Sonya into a chair as she started to grind back and forth. She picked up the next verse as the crowd screamed in delight.

“Your honor, I'm a freak bitch, handcuffs, leashes

Switch my wig, make her feel like she cheatin'

Put her on her knees, give her some' to believe in

Never lost a fight, but I'm looking for a beatin'

In the food chain, I'm the one that eat ya

If she ate my ass, she's a bottom feeder

Big D stand for big demeanor

I could make ya bust before I ever meet ya!”

Kate also jumped into the crowd, turned around and threw her ass back onto Yelena’s front, and sang,

“If it don't hang, then she can't bang

You can't hurt my feelings, but I like pain

If she fuck me and ask, "Whose is it?"

When I ride the dick, I'ma spell my name, ah!”

As Kate sang the last part of the verse, she rotated her hips to spell out K-A-T-E.

Greer and Kate quickly hopped back up on stage and sang the rest together.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, you fucking with some wet ass pussy

Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy

Give me everything you got for this wet ass pussy.”

They both leaned forward and made a show of their twerking kills, even shaking their ass at each other.

“Now from the top, make it drop, that's some wet ass pussy

Now get a bucket and a mop, that's some wet ass pussy

I'm talking WAP, WAP, WAP, that's some wet ass pussy.”

Kate looked over her shoulder and winked at Yelena when they locked eyes.

“Macaroni in a pot, that's some wet ass pussy, huh!”

Both Greer and Kate bowed low as the bar itself seemed to scream at the top of its lungs.

Yelena stood just below the stage, her mouth opened and closed but no sounds or words escaped the Alpha’s mouth. Her brain had ceased working the second Kate had started rapping but only one thought made its way to the forefront of her mind through the foggy haze. She needed Kate Bishop and she needed her now. There was an intense pounding between her legs and her heart beat faster as she watched her Omega hand her microphone back to the DJ.

As soon as Kate walked down the steps of the stage, Yelena rushed forward, grabbed her mate’s hand, and steered them towards the direction of the bathroom.

“Get it, Bishop!”

“Let’s go, Feisty Kat!”

Yelena heard Greer and Sonya’s cheers behind her but she didn’t stop, nor did Yelena care that they definitely knew what she was about to do to Kate in the bathroom.

The Alpha kicked open the door, quickly made sure there was no one else in the other bathroom stalls, locked the bathroom door, and pulled Kate in with her to the cleanest stall she could find. She locked this door as well for good measure and crashed her lips into the archers.

Kate moaned and matched Yelena’s ferocity. The blonde bit her mate’s bottom lip hard and quickly soothed it over with her tongue. The Russian’s hands which had rested on Kate’s hips traveled southward and palmed her ass through the material of the skirt.

The Omega leaned her head back and Yelena moved to assault the archer’s neck with nips and harsh bites to Kate’s mating mark.

“If you feel under my skirt,” panted Kate. “You’ll get another surprise.”

Yelena eagerly followed directions and she was quickly met with her mate’s sopping entrance with no barrier between her fingers and Kate’s skin. The Alpha hissed and recaptured Kate’s mouth with her own. “No underwear,” said Yelena, the pounding of her length increasing. “My, my, what a naughty girl you are.”

“Only for you, Yelena.”

The Alpha removed her hands from Kate’s entrance and undid the fastenings of her pants with incredible speed. Yelena pulled her pants down until the fabric pooled by her ankles, she stroked her length a few times and slotted herself between Kate’s thighs.

“I am about to explode, Kate Bishop,” Yelena said hoarsely as she ran her length through the Omegas dripping folds.

Kate inhaled shakily and leaned forward so she was resting her head against her mate’s temple. “I want you to park that big Mack truck right in this little garage,” she whispered.

“Fuck!” Yelena’s hips snapped forward and her entire length was buried within Kate in one long stroke.

The Omega arched at the sudden full feeling and quickly clamped her inner muscles down around her Alpha. The blonde’s hands hiked up her mate’s skirt until it bunched up around the Omega’s waist. Yelena then palmed her ass and hefted Kate up so the archer could wrap her legs around the Alpha’s hips.

“Hang on tight, Kate Bishop,” said Yelena as she started a quick pound, her length pummeling Kate’s insides.

The archer whimpered and panted hotly against the shell of the ex-assassin’s ear. “Make me cream, make me scream,” demanded Kate as she bit down on Yelena’s earlobe.

The Alpha’s hips faltered before Yelena picked up her pace and jackhammered into her mate. “Fucking hell,” she grunted, her pace never slowing. The Russian pulled back to rest her forehead against her mate’s and watched as Kate’s mouth dropped open as Yelena’s head poked that soft spongey spot on her front wall. “You do things to me, Kate.”

The Omega opened her eyes at her Alpha’s words. Yelena’s hips never stopped and her bottom lip started to tremble.

“I never thought I’d ever have this,” she gasped. “To be able to feel your tight, wet walls caressing me, to feel your muscles clenching around me as I spill into you, begging me not to leave.”

A guttural sound escaped the Omega’s mouth and a sharp ball of desire exploded in her belly.

Yelena latched her lips to her mate’s and seemed to swallow the noise. She pulled away and altered her movement to harsher, deeper strokes. “But you don’t have to worry about that, Kate Bishop,” said Yelena as she thrust in so hard that the Omega’s backside started to hit the wall of the bathroom stall, the whole plastic structure shook with the impact. “I am not ever leaving. I want to make love to you, and I want to fuck you, and I want to do everything in between with you.”

Kate leaned forward, pressed a chaste kiss to parted lips and said, “Makarony v kastryule. Kakaya-to mokraya, kak kiska.”

Yelena almost stumbled and she grit her teeth. “No,” she said harshly. “I am not going to come to you saying that to me in Russian!”

Despite everything, Kate laughed and kissed Yelena once more, the Omega’s tongue battled with Yelena’s as they exhaled heavily into each other. Finally, Kate relented and she moved her mouth so her tongue could caress Yelena’s ear. “I need a hard hitter, I need a deep stroker,” the archer whispered and the tight ball of desire in her stomach unraveled. She clenched hard around Yelena and was easily thrown into her orgasm.

The Alpha wheezed as she felt her mate come around her. Yelena’s legs grew weak and the blonde sat down heavily on the toilet as her length twitched and shot her load inside her Omega. Yelena sucked in a lungful of air and leaned back against the wall as her orgasm tapered off and she caught her breath.

Kate nipped at her mate’s scent gland and let her lips graze the skin as she whispered, “I love you,” against her mate’s neck.

Yelena gently grabbed her Omega by the chin and brought Kate up for a proper kiss. “I love you too. Thank you for the wonderful performance.”

Kate hummed and stood shakily from her mate’s lap. Yelena’s now soft member slipped easily out of her and the Alpha gathered some toilet paper to help clean up the mess dripping down her mate’s legs. “I feel like I should be saying that to you,” teased Kate.

“I try,” Yelena smiled slyly as she straightened out the archer’s skirt and tucked herself back into her pants. “Now, let’s go back out there before security kicks us out.”

 

“Yelena!” Sonya yelled as the mates approached the table. “I signed you up for the next song.”

“You what?” the blonde screeched. “What song?”

“Relax, it’s the song you always talk about,” said Sonya, placing another shot in both Kate’s and Yelena’s hands. “Since Kate fucked the nerves out of you, you’ll be fine.”

Yelena looked at the other widow, affronted. “I do the fucking, thank you.”

The DJ tapped the microphone and announced, “Next up, we have King Cobra Yelena singing My Dove.”

The blonde seethed in Sonya’s direction. “King Cobra?”

Sonya beamed, a twinkle in her eye. “Yes, you know, like in the WAP song?”

“I hate you,” Yelena spat but threw back the shot and made her way up the stage.

The song was a slow song and had a simple acoustic guitar. Yelena licked her lips, held the microphone up, and started singing; Kate almost melted on the spot.

“She holds a smile inside her

She wants love to find her

And I know that's nothing quite like her

 

Pale skin, dark hair, eyes beyond compare

Warm laugh, sweet love

You're my dove

You're my dove.”

Yelena’s voice was low and raspy but it was breathtaking. Kate found herself refusing to breathe in case the rhythm of her inhales and exhales interrupted the beauty in front of her. Yelena’s eyes met hers and the Alpha smiled sweetly before continuing her song.

“Baby girl you'll be alright

You've got your friends, you've got the night

Baby girl this is your life

Don't let this shit stop you

Baby girl this is for you

'Cause you don't know your beauty but I do.”

The song was relatively simple but it meant the world to Kate as she let the words wash over her. The Omega quickly blinked tears from her eyes as Yelena finished her song and made her way off the stage. The crowd had been swaying with their phone lights on and they clapped loudly as the Alpha made her way back to her mate.

“Damn,” said Franny as she swallowed another shot. “One minute she’s railing you in the bathroom and the next she’s singing you a love song.”

“She’s very versatile,” sniffed Kate as she elbowed her friend in the ribs.

Yelena came up to her and wiped the archer’s leaking eyes. The Alpha kissed Kate once on the nose and then placed a longer, deeper kiss on her Omega’s swollen lips. “That song makes me think of you every time I hear it.”

“Well, now when I hear it, I’ll be thinking of you,” Kate said as she brushed her nose against her mate’s and remained close, enjoying the Russian’s presence.

“More shots!” screamed Greer as she pushed an overflowing glass between Kate and Yelena.

“Greer,” said Sonya sternly. “I think you’ve had-” but the brunette’s words died on her lips as Greer downed three consecutive shots.

The tipsy Omega looked at Sonya, arched a brow, and cocked her hip. “They’re green tea shots, they’re healthy!”

“Green tea,” said Kate excitedly. “Those are my favorite! Give me one!”

Yelena opened her mouth to protest but she wasn’t quick enough. Kate gulped down the six remaining green tea shots and smacked her lips loudly together, then pulled a face.

“What is it?” Yelena asked.

“Sensitive teeth, sensitive teeth,” the Omega said in a grave voice. “Those were cold, very cold.” She pulled her lips back and used her fingers to grab onto her teeth, hoping to provide some warmth, and then laughed as slobber started to coat her hand. “It’s like my fingers are a blanket.”

Sonya, who was now holding onto Greer’s arm so she wouldn’t fall over, raised an eyebrow at Yelena.

The blonde sighed tiredly. “It’s starting to hit her.”

“Franny!” Kate boomed. She took the empty shot glass from the table and tried to throw it down onto the floor. “I want another!”

Yelena lunged forward and caught the shot glass before it could shatter onto the wooden floor. A different drink was placed into Kate’s hand before the blonde was able to wrangle her Omega.

The archer squinted at the frothy pink liquid. “This does not look like a green tea shot,” she whispered as she poked her nose into the drink and accidentally snorted some as she inhaled.

Yelena was on her in an instant with napkins to clean up the mess that had shot out of the younger woman’s nose. “Day mne sily,” Yelena mumbled under her breath.

Kate laughed, a glazed look in her eye. “Yeah, today was pretty silly.”

Franny rammed a black straw into the drink. “It’s a strawberry daiquiri, you dumb bitch, and you drink it through a straw, not through your nose.”

Greer cackled from where she was leaning against Sonya. “Kate’s dumb,” she slurred before closing her eyes and snapping them back open as her head lolled.

Kate swaggered around the table, holding the drink above her head. “Challenge accepted,” she said as she flicked the straw out of the drink and tried to pour the whole thing into her mouth.

“There was no challenge!” Yelena said in disbelief as she manhandled the drink out of her mate’s hands. When she finally got the cup, the Alpha noticed that it was empty. Yelena’s brain seemed to short circuit and a painful sharp feeling settled inside her head. She looked up to see that Kate had swallowed half of her drink and the other half was on her face, dripping onto the floor.

The archer stood, frozen.

Yelena sighed as she started wiping Kate’s face with the napkins. “I think you have a brain freeze, Kate Bishop.”

“It hurts,” the Omega squeaked.

The Alpha hummed as she finished cleaning her mate and then she leaned forward and kissed her, moving her tongue inside and pressing it to the roof of her Omega’s mouth. Yelena felt the sharpness in her own brain diminish and knew that Kate was also no longer in pain. She pulled away and smirked as the archer looked at her mate in wonder.

“You are magical,” Kate said dreamily.

“Yes,” said Yelena, “and you,” she bopped Kate on the nose with her finger. “You are very dangerous like this.”

“Rawr,” said Kate as she used her hand to swipe at Yelena as a cat would. The Alpha caught it easily and placed a kiss on the knuckles.

“More!” screamed Greer as she grabbed Kate and tugged her towards the bar. “Franny come on! You’re only tipsy, we need to be crunk!”

The Beta allowed Greer to steamroll over her and tug her to the bar. “I don’t think that means what you think.”

 

Yelena and Sonya watched as Kate, Franny, and Greer ordered drink after drink after drink until finally, the bartender cut them off. Greer wailed at being denied another beverage and launched herself into Sonya’s arms. The brunette Alpha held the Omega as Greer cried onto Sonya’s shoulder then promptly fell asleep.

Franny had returned to the table a few minutes ago and stared blankly and silently at the ceiling but Yelena noticed her body sway slightly where she sat.

The blonde refocused her attention to the bar where Kate seemed to be begging the bartender for another drink. Yelena had been paying attention to every drink her Omega consumed. Kate had those two shots before she went up to sing, six green tea shots, and a strawberry daiquiri. The Russian pursed her lips as her eyes scanned over the bar again. Kate had also had an old fashion, a Manhattan, an espresso martini, a gimlet, and two lychee martinis.

Yelena rubbed her head. There’s going to be so much vomit tomorrow. The Alpha glanced at her phone to see it was one in the morning, she looked around and watched as Sonya rubbed a sleeping Greer’s back and watched as Franny had settled enough to start chugging a glass of water.

“This is preposterous!”

Yelena heard her mate yell in, for some reason, a British accent. She turned her head to see why and almost had a heart attack. Kate was standing wobbly on top of the bar, pointing accusingly at the bartender who stared back unimpressed.

The blonde startled to her feet and hurried toward her mate. “Kate Bishop, get down from there!” Yelena demanded.

The Omega whirled around and almost stumbled off the bar top. Her eyes brightened when they landed, unfocused, on the Alpha. “Hello beautiful,” Kate said slowly, obviously trying to pronounce the words correctly. The archer flung her hair over her shoulder. “I’m Bate Kishop.”

Thankfully the bartender didn’t seem angry that Bate Kishop was now standing on top of his bar but he did look amusedly at Yelena, as if to say, this is your shit to deal with.

Yelena needn’t have worried though as Kate bent her knees and jumped from the bar all on her own. The Alpha caught her mate and put her down gently to ensure her Omega would not break her ankles.

“Do you come here often?” asked Kate as she draped herself across the Alpha’s front.

Yelena hummed in amusement as she guided her mate back to the table. “My first time, actually.”

“Say,” said Kate as her mate gently pushed her into a chair and filled a glass of water. “Are you single?”

The Alpha chuckled and handed her Omega the glass of water. “No, Kate Bishop, I am not single.”

Instead of laughing, like Yelena expected her to, Kate looked as if her whole world had come crumbling around her. The archer’s lip wobbled and the hand holding up the glass of water started to shake. The Russian was startled to feel a pang of heartbreak in her chest.

“You’re not single?” Kate asked, her voice shaking fiercely.

Yelena rushed to appease her mate. “Because I’m mated to-”

Kate let out a wail so loud, that it startled Greer awake. “You’re mated? Now I’ll never have a chance!”

To you!” Yelena said hurriedly. “I am mated to you, Kate Bishop.” She explained as she wiped the tears away and brought the glass of water up to Kate’s lips.

“Damn,” said Sonya, her voice showing no emotion. “How could you mate someone, Yelena?” she tsked.

“You are not helping,” snarled the blonde as she snapped her head in Sonya’s direction.

“Who is this, Kate Bishop?” Kate asked her mate. “I bet I could take her,” she sniffled.

Greer raised her fist in support. “You got this Kate. Kick her ass,” she mumbled before falling asleep again.

Yelena exhaled heavily and focused on her mate once more. “You are Kate Bishop. I am mated to you.

It took Kate exactly two minutes to mull over Yelena’s words before a cheesy grin broke out on the Omega’s face. “We’re mated?” she asked in pleasant surprise.

The Alpha pressed a kiss to her archer’s forehead. “Come on, let’s go home.”

“Home,” Kate said happily.

Yelena quickly paid out their tab and guided Kate out of the bar. Sonya followed behind, she carried Greer over her shoulder and kept a firm hand on Franny’s arm so the Beta wouldn’t stumble into the street.

“You’re good to get Franny home?” Yelena asked as they walked back in the direction of the Beta’s apartment.

Sonya laughed. “Considering Greer and Franny share an apartment; I think I’ll manage.”

Yelena swatted at her friend for her cheeky comment but couldn’t help the smile that stretched her lips. “Make sure to keep the bathroom door wide open.”

“Oh yes,” said Sonya as she hefted the downed Omega further over her shoulder. “This one loves to party. I know the routine.”

Yelena nodded and said goodbye to Sonya once they parted ways at their apartment. The Alpha kept Kate close as the Russian tried to keep her mate from stumbling too badly as she walked.

“Since we’re mated, that means we have sex, right?” asked Kate, a dopey grin on her face.

The blonde kissed Kate’s temple. “Yes,” she answered simply.

“Are we going to have sex tonight?”

“No.”

The Omega pouted. “Why?”

Yelena guided them around a corner and made sure Kate never left her grasp. “You are going to fall right to sleep when we get home.”

“No, I won’t,” Kate said, her voice almost childlike in her petulance.

“We can have sex another time,” the Alpha offered as she saw Kate’s apartment building come into view.

“Tomorrow?”

“No.”

“Why?”

The Alpha held Kate against herself as she keyed open the door. “You will not want to do anything tomorrow.”

Yelena led her mate to their bedroom where she laid the Omega down on the bed.

“The room is spinning,” the archer croaked.

“I know,” said Yelena as she came back into the room with a makeup wipe. She cleaned Kate’s face and changed her Omega into her pajamas. She also brought a bowl and placed it on the floor next to Kate’s side of the bed...just in case. The archer hummed sleepily as Yelena pulled the covers around her. “I’m going to get ready for bed, I’ll be right back.”

“Mk.”

The Alpha finished her own nightly routine as quickly as she could and was surprised to find Kate still fighting off her sleep when she returned.

“You’re not asleep yet?” Yelena asked lowly as she slid into her side of the bed.

“I didn’t want you to fall asleep by yourself,” Kate mumbled but soon after she said those words, her eyes fell shut and her breathing evened out.

Yelena stared at her sleeping mate in shock. She could still feel Kate’s love for her gently simmering in her own chest even after the Omega had fallen asleep. I love this woman, the blonde thought to herself. “Thank you for being mine,” the Russian whispered as she pressed one last kiss to her mate’s head and turned off the light.

In the dark, Kate Bishop smiled.

 

____________

 

It took Kate a whole week to get over her hangover. She had spent the first two days clinging to life as she vomited up all the contents of her stomach. Kate is also pretty sure she expelled the lining of her stomach as well.

“What did I drink?” the archer moaned as she coughed wetly into the bowl.

“Everything,” came Yelena’s answer as she came into the bathroom with a fresh Gatorade.

The Omega flushed the toilet and reached for the drink gratefully. “Purple, my favorite flavor.”

“Purple is a color, Kate Bishop,” said Yelena as she wet a small cloth under cold water. “The flavor is fierce grape.”

The younger woman sighed into her drink. “Only spies know the actual flavors of Gatorades.”

“Well then, call me double-O seven,” said Yelena as she placed the cloth on Kate’s forehead.

Thankfully, the vomiting had stopped on day three but Kate felt lazy and lethargic until the new week started. She’s immensely glad that she finished her essay and had no other work to complete for at least a few more days. Kate didn’t think she would be able to submit any assignments in the state she was in.

Currently, Kate and Yelena were laying on the couch, the Omega was resting on top of the blonde and had her face tucked into her Alpha’s neck. The archer purred as the Russian’s fingers combed through her dark hair, threaded the strands into a loose braid, undid it, and started over again.

“I like when you purr,” Yelena admitted quietly. “I like feeling it.”

Kate increased the intensity of her purr and let her mind wander as Yelena continued playing with her mate’s long hair. The Omega thought back to a few nights ago when she overheard her Alpha whisper to her. Kate may have forgotten her own name that night but she would never forget those words and the tone in which the Alpha used them.

Thank you for being mine.

Others might have misinterpreted the blonde’s words as possessiveness but Kate knew better. The Omega could still hear the tone of reverence the Alpha used reverberating in her eardrums. Yelena, who from the ages between six and twenty-seven had nothing to call her own. The Alpha who spent twenty-one years of her life being controlled to the point where she couldn’t even call her mind her own, had finally found something (someone) that she could hold onto. Kate Bishop was Yelena Belova’s and the Omega had absolutely no problem with that.

Kate imagined her favorite pair of green eyes and she saw them in her mind but they were different than the eyes Yelena normally had. These eyes were the same shade of green but they seemed to reach deeper as if the iris held no definitive depth and they glowed slightly. The eyes were surrounded by a pure white substance but the Omega couldn’t make it out, it seemed frayed and spikey. Is that fur, Kate thought.

Before she could find an answer Afro Circus blared from her phone's speakers and blue eyes shot open.

“It’s Greer,” said Yelena, her eyes closed and chin resting on the top of Kate’s head.

The archer pulled her phone out of her pocket, answered, and put it on speaker. “Yes, Greer?”

“Can Sonya and I chill with you and Yelena tonight? Fran’s going on a date and she wants to bring the guy back to the apartment.”

The Omega startled. “A date? Where did she even find the guy?”

“At the bar,” explained Greer.

“That’s not an explanation,” Kate said incredulously. “I never saw her talking to anyone!”

Kate heard her friend inhale as if she were explaining something very simple to a toddler. “That’s because you were getting railed in the bathroom. They exchanged numbers and everything.”

The archer coughed as she felt the body under hers shake with laughter. “Right, well,” she paused. “Good for her.”

“So, can we come over or not?”

Kate raised her head to study her mate, the blonde kissed her Omega on the corner of her mouth and nodded. The archer took the phone off speaker and pressed it to her ear. “Sure, you guys can come over.”

“Awesome,” the other Omega said cheerily. “We’ll bring the popcorn, it’s movie night.”

Kate reluctantly sat up, Yelena’s hands fell from her hair but the Alpha’s fingers found a new place on the Omega’s thigh and rubbed slow circles on the exposed skin. “What movie are we watching?” Kate asked.

“There is an infinite number of possibilities since both Yelena and Sonya haven’t seen eighty percent of the world’s movies. However, I’m feeling partial towards Zootopia.”

“They’re both going to think that movie is for kids,” Kate guffawed.

“Whatever,” said Greer. “If we’re watching it, they’ll watch it. I gotta go get the supplies but I’ll see you soon.”

Kate hung up and closed her eyes as she leaned back against the couch.

“What movie is for kids?” Yelena asked, her accent grew heavy as relaxed sleepiness washed over her.

The Omega opened her eyes and studied her mate’s green orbs. “It’s a surprise,” she whispered.

The blonde hummed. “Well since I enjoyed the last one so much, I will allow you to keep your secrets.”

Kate leaned back down and reclined against her Alpha. “So chivalrous.”

Yelena cupped the back of Kate’s neck and slotted their lips together. The Omega felt a pleasant thrum tingle her nerves as the Alpha molded her lips to her mates, the pace was slow and never picked up speed, Yelena never removed her palm from the archer’s neck. Kate laid on her mate, soft and pliable as her mouth opened and accepted the Russian’s probing tongue. The blonde explored Kate’s mouth with shallow licks and gentle nips to the Omega’s upper lip.

Man, thought Kate as she sucked Yelena’s bottom lip between her teeth. My Alpha really knows how to kiss.

 

“Why does the rabbit not want to be a farmer? I do not see anything wrong with farming,” said Yelena as she watched act one of the movie.

Kate had her head in her Alpha’s lap, her face was turned toward the tv screen so she could watch as well. Greer and Sonya were sitting together on the adjacent couch, the Omega was leaning into Sonya, and both of their bodies were turned slightly so they could watch the screen without hurting their neck.

“She is made for bigger and better things, Yelena,” said Sonya. “Besides, it’s a carrot farm.”

“What is wrong with carrots?” the blonde asked, sounding offended.

The four of them watched the screen as Judy Hops faced her trials and tribulations at the police academy.

“You know,” said Kate. “Judy kind of reminds me of you.”

“What?” asked the Alpha, disgust in her tone. “How?”

“Well, for starters, you’re both short.”

The Russian gasped and lightly smacked her mate’s thigh. “Kate Bishop, you are very rude. I am nothing like this rabbit! I was top of my class in the Red Room, she cannot even do a pushup.”

“Yes, she is quite feeble,” said Sonya as she studied the cartoon with interest. “Though, I don’t think Yelena is a bunny. She is a big, lazy, Koshka.”

“For the last time,” the Alpha said irritably. “I am not a cat!”

Kate smiled and rubbed her cheek on Yelena’s clothed thigh. “She likes it when I play with her ears.”

The mentioned body part reddened in embarrassment. “I do not like you two ganging up on me. Greer is my new favorite.”

“Aye,” said Greer as she hardly paid attention to the conversation, too focused on the movie.

Kate scoffed. “Greer doesn’t suck your dick.”

Greer’s surprised laugh was so loud, that the archer almost didn’t hear the small squeak that came from Yelena’s mouth. The Russian hung her head in defeat. “No, she does not.”

 

“I like the fox,” said Yelena as they watched Nick and his friend pull off their popsicle heist.

Kate squinted at the monitor. “I always thought Nick reminded me of Sonya.”

“I do not like the fox,” grumbled the blonde.

“Cyka,” said Sonya.

 

Kate felt her Alpha’s leg muscles tense as the main plot point of the movie was explained. The scene where the otter was hit with some unknown substance to change his behavior played on the screen. Kate glanced over and could tell that Sonya was also uncomfortable but Greer kept a steady hand on the Alpha’s thigh.

Yelena’s hand that had been fidgeting with the frayed ends of the Omega’s shirt had stopped its movement. The archer sat up and tucked herself into her mate’s side and pressed a quick kiss to Yelena’s shoulder.

“It has a happy ending,” the Omega reassured the blonde.

Yelena tore her eyes from the screen with difficulty but the Alpha relaxed her body as their gazes met. The Russian nodded, “just like we do.”

Kate opened her mouth to reply but found that she had no words, her throat had constricted so tightly that not a single syllable could escape. The Omega wrapped her arms around her Alpha’s shoulders and let her mate hold her tightly for the rest of the movie.

Yes, we will have a happy ending.

 

The archer sat on her bed and stared vacantly at the calendar pinned to the wall of her bedroom. The movie had ended twenty minutes ago and the Omega could hear her Alpha helping Sonya and Greer set up the couches for them to sleep on.

Kate heard Yelena make her way down the hall to their shared bedroom and stopped in the doorway. “What’s wrong, Kate?”

The Omega blinked owlishly before walking over to her desk and pulling out a pen. She walked back over to the calendar and started scribbling notes on random dates of the month. When she was finished, Kate pulled away and looked at her jumbled handwriting. Panic seeped into her lungs and Kate could hardly breathe with how tight her chest felt.

Strong arms wrapped around the Omega and Yelena sunk her teeth tenderly into the archer’s mating bite. “What is bothering you?” the Alpha asked again after Kate’s breathing had calmed.

“There’s so much to do,” said the archer. “I should go see my mom, I need to stop slacking at Bishop Securities, I have school, we promised to see the Barton’s and your parents, you still have your widows to free, my heat is next week, it just goes on, and on, and on!” Kate gasped as she realized she had not inhaled once during her spiraling ramble.

“It is okay, malen'kiy yastreb,” Yelena whispered soothingly and ran her nose over the shell of Kate’s ear. “We will just take it one day at a time. There is no rush to do any of these right away.”

The Omega leaned heavily against her mate. “I just don’t want to disappoint anyone. It suddenly seems so real to me. What if S.W.O.R.D. calls and they want me on their team but I have to relocate? What will we do?”

Yelena turned Kate in her arms so her Omega was facing the Alpha. “We will deal with that when the time comes,” promised the blonde. “Kate Bishop, I hope in that big brain of yours, you are not worrying about us. I have full faith in us.”

The archer shook her head. “I am yours, Yelena.”

The Russian took in a shuddering breath and pulled Kate into a fierce hug. “I love you so much, I wish I could make love to you but our friends will hear us.”

“I can be quiet,” the Omega whispered, her hands trailing down Yelena’s stomach to cup her soft member.

The blonde chuckled as she pulled them towards the bed. “You are many things, Kate Bishop, but quiet is not one of them.”

Kate grinned sheepishly but shrugged in agreement.

The mates settled under the covers and listened to each other’s breathing. Slumber had almost overtaken Yelena until she heard her Omega whisper, “makarony v kastryule.”

“I’m never going to be able to make macaroni without getting an erection ever again,” Yelena stated miserably.

Notes:

So was it cracky enough? Not at all?
I hope the ending didn't feel too rushed, I just really wanted to get this out for you guys!
Either way, I hope you enjoyed it! The next few installments will be more serious as we continue forward with Kate and Yelena's life. Don't worry though, I'll still add some humor and crack since there will be an Ohio visit in the future installments. That means Kate and Alexi and boy am I excited to write that one.
See you next time my lovelies. Thank you again for all the kudos and comments, they really mean the world to me!

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