Chapter Text
Meredith had spent the day making plans. Actually, she had spent the last few months making plans. This was an unusual occurrence, anyone would tell you that Meredith never planned anything. She proclaimed often that the only way to live was to live in the moment. This was much to the dismay of her mother who had Meredith’s life planned out since the day she was born. But there was no one around to notice her strange behavior. Her mother was away at some kind of conference, her stepfather was at the hospital and she was alone. She was used to being alone. She knew how to fill the house with noise so it didn’t feel quite so empty.
She was also used to being a second priority. She knew her mother’s career came first. After all, her mother saved lives every day. She couldn’t exactly stand in front of that. Not that she would ever try, it was easier to deal with an unspoken rejection. Meredith had come to the conclusion from a very young age that her mother loved her most when she was out of sight. At least her stepfather, Richard, made an effort to sit down for dinner with her at least once a week. Meredith had gotten very good at acting nonchalant whenever he apologized on her mother's behalf for not being able to make it.
None of that mattered now though. Or it wouldn’t in a few hours anyway. Everything was ready, she was just waiting for Richard to get home and go to sleep. This was the only unpredictable part of her plan. She had known her mother would be away and she knew Richard would be working but for her plan to work he needed to be asleep. So she found herself waiting, watching the clock slowly tick over, too tense to even think about doing anything other than sit there.
As she sat her thoughts ran rampant. She thought about her so-called friends and what their reactions would be. There would probably be a few crocodile tears but Meredith knew better than to believe they would be for her benefit. They would do it because that’s what was expected of them, and they would get more sympathy that way. She didn’t really care though. She had known who they were when she started hanging out with them.
It was a conscious decision she had made after Sadie had ditched her. If she never let anyone in, then no one could hurt her. Her thoughts drifted to her ex-best friend. They had been inseparable since they were five until the start of high school. All of a sudden Meredith wasn’t good enough for her and she was doing anything to get in with the popular crowd. So Meredith did the only thing she knew how to do when she was hurt and she attacked. With her long blonde hair, perfectly symmetrical face, sea green eyes, and naturally thin body she was the perfect queen bee. It wasn’t long till she was at the top and her first act of power was to ice Sadie out. She had tried to beg Meredith to be let back in. Bringing up their many years of friendships and attempting a guilt trip. Meredith had just laughed at her and said something about how she had dug her own grave. It wasn’t long until Sadie had switched schools.
Since then Meredith had built her walls up higher and higher. There had not been a single person who had even come close to penetrating them. She had convinced herself long ago that she was better off being alone. There had been multiple people who tried to knock her off her throne but every single one had underestimated the lengths Meredith would take to destroy them. She shook those thoughts away, she didn’t want to think about the lives she had destroyed in the last few years. It made her hate herself even more than she already did.
At around 2am she finally heard the front door open and she quickly moved to turn her lamp off so Richard wouldn’t see she was still awake. She listened to his footsteps as he passed her door and entered his and only let out a breath when she heard the door close softly behind him. She waited another thirty minutes before slipping out of her bedroom and down the stairs. She entered the kitchen and closed the door behind her. Reaching to the back of the pantry she pulled out the items she had stashed there earlier. She placed the notebook and the large bottle of paracetamol on the table and went to grab a couple of bottles of water.
Once she had gathered everything in front of her she sat down and took a deep breath. She grabbed one of the bottles of water and unscrewed the lid, reaching for the pills she tipped a large amount into her hand and threw them back with a large gulp of water. She continued this until all fifty in the bottle were gone. She already felt sick but she was pretty sure that was due to the bitter taste in her mouth. She really should’ve gotten the sugar-covered ones. She reached into her pocket for the last pill packet that contained a couple of sleeping pills and gulped those down as well. She had initially wanted to overdose on sleeping pills but when she had complained to her mother about her trouble sleeping she had rolled her eyes and only prescribed her two pills to get her through the worst of it.
With the hard part now done she opened the notebook and ripped out the note she had written earlier and folded it up to rest next to the empty pill bottle. Now all she had to do was wait to fall asleep. She could’ve chosen to do this in her room but she knew it would probably be at least a few days before her mother or Richard noticed she was gone. By then she could’ve been rotting and that just grossed her out. That was why she had to wait for Richard to get home. She couldn't risk doing it and then coming home and finding her early. She knew that he would now be asleep for at least eight hours and that was more than enough time for the pills to do irreversible damage. Her eyes started to get heavy and she laid her head on the table, slowly letting sleep take over. The last conscious thought she had was how peaceful she finally felt.
Richard groaned as his work phone started going off, interrupting his much needed sleep. He looked at the screen and sighed when he read the 911 alert demanding he make his way to the hospital as soon as possible. He dragged himself out of bed and went through the motions of dressing and making his way downstairs and into the kitchen. 911 or not, he wouldn’t be any help without a coffee to wake him up on the way. He pushed the door open and furrowed his brow when he saw his stepdaughter asleep at the table. He walked closer and he saw the items surrounding her. An empty bottle of pills and a folded note addressed to him and his wife. He knew he should know what this meant, but his brain was sluggish with disbelief and the answer was right out of his reach. He reached for the note and he felt his heart fall as he skimmed through it.
Panic started to overcome him as he tried to shake her awake, when she didn’t respond he felt for a pulse and a wave of relief ran through him as he felt a pulse. He grabbed his phone and dialed for an ambulance, knowing he was in no state to drive himself. The next few minutes passed in a blur. He grabbed the empty bottle and the stray packet of pills and shoved them in his pocket along with the note. He knew the doctors would need the information. He tried to push through his muddled brain to figure out how long she could have been out. She wasn’t in here when he got home at 2am and it was 4am now, even if she had taken the whole bottle he was fairly sure there was still time to undo the effects.
He was pulled from his thoughts by a knock on the door and he quickly went to let the paramedics in. The ride to the hospital was a blur and before he knew it, she was being rushed into the emergency room. He felt a wave of relief that he wasn’t at his own hospital and immediately felt guilty. He shouldn’t be worried about his and his wife's reputations right now. Not when Meredith had just tried to kill herself. He swore under his breath when he realized he hadn’t let anyone know he wouldn’t be coming in for whatever emergency they had. He quickly flicked off a text and shoved his phone away. He knew he needed to let Ellis know but he knew her too well to call her when he didn’t have all the information.
It wasn’t long until a doctor was examining her and asking Richard a range of questions he didn’t know the answers to. He felt useless as the doctor got frustrated at his lack of knowledge. It was too late to pump her stomach and they needed to know how much she had taken so they could start the antidote as soon as possible. It became clear that they needed to wake her up to get the answers they needed.
It took a while but eventually, the nurse was able to shake her awake and Richard had never been happier to see her green eyes open. She looked around groggily as her brain tried to fight the haze the sleeping pills had put her under. He could see the confusion in her eyes as she tried to work out where she was.
“Meredith. We need to know how much of the paracetamol you took.” Richard begged her.
She blinked a couple of times and he saw the realization of where she was start to dawn on her. He could also see her realization that her efforts hadn’t worked. The look of confusion was quickly replaced with one of anger and stubbornness. He knew that look, he had seen it many times on her and Ellis and knew that there was nothing he could say that would get her to tell them what they needed.
He sighed and turned to the doctor. “Dose her as if she took the whole bottle. She’s not going to tell us how much she took and she never does things by halves.”
The doctor nodded and hurried away to order the drugs that were needed. Richard turned back to Meredith who was pointedly ignoring his eyes.
“It’s going to be okay Meredith. We’ll work this out.” He said reaching to hold her small hand.
The nurse was back a few minutes later to insert an IV. Once the drugs were flowing he reached down and squeezed Meredith’s arm and gave her a warm smile. “I’m going to leave a container here because soon you’re going to feel pretty sick. It’s normal but if it gets too bad then we’ll give you anti-nausea. If you need anything else then let me know.”
Meredith just nodded miserably and the nurse turned to leave but not before shooting Richard an accusatory glare. Richard knew what that glare was for. He had given that glare plenty of times himself. It was a question as much as an attack, how could you let it get to this point? He wished he knew the answer, wished he could go back and fix every mistake he and Ellis had made. He had seen Ellis put Meredith second time and time again and in the early years he would bring it up. But it never went well and it usually ended with Ellis not speaking to him. When Meredith was about seven she had stopped asking for her mother and Richard had started letting it slide. He became the parent who took an interest in her life. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t his biological daughter, he loved her as if she was. Then Meredith started high school and her independent streak that had always been there got larger and larger. She slowly started pushing Richard out and he had let her, thinking that was what she wanted. That it was just typical teenager behavior.
Her vomiting brought him back from his thoughts and he rubbed her back soothingly as she leaned forward gagging. It passed quickly and she lay back down. She closed her eyes and Richard really looked at her face for the first time in a while. He was surprised to see how gaunt she looked. The bags under her eyes were heavily pronounced and it looked like she had lost weight. All his observations made him feel even guiltier and he looked away from her in shame.
When he was sure she had slipped back into a light sleep he let go of her hand and walked into the hallway. Pulling his phone out he stared at it for a few moments, dreading what he needed to do. He pulled his wife's name up and pressed dial. He listened to it ring and for a split second, he thought he was going to get away with not telling her for a while longer. That hope was quashed the second he heard Ellis’s voice.
“Richard? What are you doing awake so early? I thought you worked the late shift last night. Did you get called back in?” Ellis spoke quickly, not letting Richard get a word in.
“Ellis.” He interrupted. “It’s Meredith.”
Ellis sighed through the phone. “What has she done now?
“You need to get on the next flight home. She tried to kill herself.”
Let me know what you think!