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Schlatt is not a fair god. He is born of chaos and blooded in fire and he exists for death and destruction.
Being favoured by him is a fate worse than death and a promise of a gruesome end.
And where chaos and destruction goes, war and anarchy will follow.
Technoblade, Schlatts son, is a demi-god born of the battlefield and made in anarchy, he is unrestrained bloodlust and violence where Schlatt is insidious deals and quiet twisting of fate.
Together, they are the most feared of a slowly dwindling pantheon.
With the modern age brings the death of many of Schlatts godly siblings, none of which he sheds a tear over. But it seems even when humanity thinks themselves above all, the constants in their life will always be Life, Death and Destruction.
Even when Schlatt can no longer open up sink holes for the hell of it, or rise volcanoes from nothing, the destruction of the modern age is the tangle of rules and laws they have imposed upon themselves, it is working class being stripped to the bone, it is foreign wars over limited resources and it is the hero's on the city of Manburg who hope to stop it all, but unknowingly contribute to Schlatts power.
Schlatt likes to think he's settled into this new age rather well. He has power and wealth, and with all the chaos around him, he doesn't think he will be fading into oblivion any time soon. His son, however, had struggled with some of the new rules of this age.
The no murder one most of all.
Technoblade, the Blood God, is aptly named for what sustains him. He is a being of rage and war, born from chaos, he is a second – unofficial – angel of death.
And Schlatt could not be more proud of him.
A warm, sticky feeling floods Schlatts chest as he watches the screen on the wall of his office, the news broadcasting Technos ongoing fight with the biggest and strongest heroes.
Technoblade is anarchy incarnate, it is his very nature to oppose rules and regulations and governments. So Schlatt had suggested that Techno play along with this new hero fad that had premiered in Manburg, become the villain they all so desperately needed and finally sate his urges beyond the string of murders he'd left all over the globe, leaving every investigative service and police institution cowering in fear of The Blade.
And so, Technos kill streak was put on hold for a moment, and Ares was born.
At the time, Schlatt had laughed at his son for bringing back his old moniker from a time long gone, a time when god's had been revered. And even now he can't help but chuckle every time he hears the name, and the fear it carries with.
Schlatt is so, so, proud of the monster his son has become.
On the screen, Schlatt watches as Techno, dressed in full villain regalia – he's got a fucking crown and everything which Schlatt thinks is a little pretentious and it's got to be inconvenient while fighting – Technos got a hero, 404, he thinks, pinned to the ground with a heavy boot on their chest and a sword at their throat.
Further along the destroyed street are 404's teammates, frozen as they listen to whatever villain monologue Techno has been working on now.
Schlatt can almost feel the blood on his tongue, if Techno would just push his sword a little deeper–
His office door swings open and Schlatt is jolted from his pseudo bloodlust.
The downsides of being the father of the Blood God, their very beings are intrinsically linked, when Techno loses himself to bloodlust, Schlatts own mania starts to rise. And if Schlatt ever disappears like the other gods, Techno will be vanishing right along side him.
Blinking the red from his eyes, Schlatt turns to look at whoever so rudely burst into his office, intent on ruining their life – just firing them would be too simple, too easy. Perhaps an accident that leaves them unable to work or provide for their family – and all his thoughts vanish when he finds Tubbo standing in the doorway, blinking up at him with wide brown eyes.
"Tubbo, Jesus man you gotta knock on my door next time!" Schlatt scolds with absolutely no heat behind it.
Tubbo smiles sheepishly, "sorry bossman, I did but you seemed out of it."
Schlatt sighs, looking back at the TV and gesturing for Tubbo to come in and a second later he hears the door click shut and feels a warm presence near him.
His fingers itch to reach out and pull the kid close, to hold him to his chest and keep him away from all the chaos and destruction of their world. But Schlatt knows better than that, he's better than his urges and he makes a point of it by slipping his hands into his trouser pockets.
"Are you worried about Ares?" Tubbo asks after a moment of silence.
Schlatt takes a moment to think. His instinctual answer is no; he's not worried about his son at all, but he can't exactly say that to Tubbo. Poor, innocent, mortal Tubbo.
"Nah," Schlatt settles on. "The hero's have got it covered, I'm sure they'll stop him soon."
On the screen, 404 is no longer under Technos heel and instead his son is fighting both Prometheus and Hermes in hand to hand combat and winning.
Huffing a breath Schlatt breaks the quiet atmosphere and grabs the remote off his desk to turn the TV off before moving to seat himself behind it.
"So, what did you need kiddo?" He asks.
"I should be asking you that," Tubbo laughs. "I'm the one interning for you."
"God I love unpaid internships, it's just free labour Tubbo!" Schlatt says with a chuckle.
"Then why are you paying me an obscene amount of money to do basically nothing again?" Tubbo asks with furrowed eyebrows.
"Because you're special kid. You've got drive, you're charismatic, you're disarmingly charming and funny. Not to mention your smarts. To have finished college by 16? That's insane kid. You're brilliant already but I want to make you amazing."
Tubbo is bright red and desperately trying to hide his face in the collar of his sweater and Schlatt feels that that warmth in his chest increase tenfold as he leans forward, elbows on his desk, to level Tubbo with a serious look.
"I pay you so much Tubbo because when you're eighteen I want you to work for me full time, become my heir."
"So you're bribing me?" Tubbo asks, his voice quiet as he tries for amusement.
Schlatt grins. "Legally I have to say no, but you're a smart kid Tubs, I can't let anyone else snatch you away from me." Just the thought makes him burn with rage.
"Wouldn't you son be your heir though?"
Schlatt snorts. "Techno's not exactly… interested, you could say, in the family business."
Tubbo smiles, though he looks uncomfortable with his eyes cast to the side as he shuffles from foot to foot.
"You don't have to make any decisions right now kid." Schlatt says softly, giving Tubbo a kind smile, portraying himself as the exact antithesis of everything he represents. "Now, go get us both a coffee and bring me my reports Mr. Underscore."
Tubbo smiles, brighter this time, and gives Schlatt a mocking salute. "Sure thing bossman, I'll be back in a minute."
Schlatt watches him go, and when his office door closes behind him, he finally lets his smile fall. Demeanor shifting instantaneously from kind hearted and patient to the cruel and uncaring man he is more widely known as.
Being kind is a right reserved only for his sons. For teasing Techno who gets uncomfortable with words of affection, and for luring Tubbo into his grasp, to one day be his son in more than just Schlatts mind.
***
Tubbo, despite his initial hesitance, really likes interning at Schlatt.Co.
He'd heard the rumors of course, before he applied. The CEO is a cold, heartless man who would rather see you dead than happy or relaxed. He's pure evil, and everything wrong with their capitalist society.
And, being honest, Tubbo didn't want to apply for an internship.
If not for Tommy and his vigilante habit. If not for the documents they needed from Schlatt.Co for their investigation into some arms dealers across the city, Tubbo would have never even looked in the direction of the huge skyscraper that was their headquarters.
As it was though, Tommy was relying on him. Innocent civilians were relying on the information inside.
And so Tubbo applied, and to his immense surprise, he got accepted.
Tubbo wanted it to be a quick job. He wanted to gain the trust of a secretary, get the files he needed, and get the fuck outta dodge.
But then on his first day, full of nerves and jittery with anxiety, Tubbo ran head first into Jebediah Schlatt, CEO of Schlatt.Co.
And every preconceived notion Tubbo had crafted about the man shattered in an instant, when Schlatt looked at him with a soft smile and gently asked if he was okay.
From that point, Tubbo got upgraded to a paid internship, and started working with Schlatt directly. Though he didn't do nearly enough for the company to explain the size of his paycheck.
Tubbo isn't sure why, but Schlatt just… likes him. He thinks he's funny, smart and charming.
It confused Tubbo at first. He's no Tommy who could charm the pants off of someone with his wild personality and kind heart. Tubbo is just Tommy's shadow, his man in the chair, with his own wild personality hiding all the anger he carries with him.
Not that Tubbo is angry at Tommy or resentful. Tommy is genuinely his best friend, his brother by everything but blood. But he will admit ever since he got his powers, ever since he became Theseus the vigilante… there's been a strain on their relationship.
But Schlatt likes him. Schlatt thinks he's worth something. Schlatt wants him to be his heir to his multi-million dollar company.
Schlatt is kind and caring and Tubbo doesn't think he deserves the awful reputation he has.
If anything, his son, Techno, is more worthy of the fear carried with the Schlatt name.
Technoblade is an elusive figure to the public eye. People who know of Schlatt know that he has a son, one he loves very much, but hardly anyone knows his name or what he looks like.
Tubbo had met him, once, while helping Schlatt organise files in his office. Techno had stepped into the room, a mountain of muscle dressed in a gothic Victorian outfit and long pink hair in an intricate braided bun. His very presence sucked all the air out of the room, and Tubbo couldn't stop his hands from shaking slightly, even hours after he'd gone.
Schlatt likes to talk of his son like he's an anti-social hermit with a heart of gold. Anti-social maybe. Heart of gold? Tubbo isn't so sure.
Tubbo sighs to himself and looks down at the bracelet on his wrist that he had idly been picking at. The red thread is worn, and the compass charm in the middle is slightly greenish as time and wear corrupts the cheap metal.
It's special to Tubbo though, he knows its pair, equally worn, sits on Tommy's wrist as a constant reminder of their brotherhood.
Looking up and focussing back on the world around him, Tubbo tries not to get lost in his thoughts again as he navigates his way home. It had been a long day at the office, and while he's not drained from the non existent workload, he is drained from the night he spent guiding Theseus through the crime ridden streets of Manburg.
Tubbo just wants to get home and ignore the pile of chores he has to do in favour of getting a nap, and sleeping until Tommy decides it's time for his patrol.
A huge hand grabbing his shoulder rips Tubbo from his daydream, and he spins around with wide eyes, only for genuine icy terror to render him motionless.
Ares is standing behind him. His hand is still gripping Tubbos shoulder, tight enough that even if Tubbo wasn't frozen by fear he doesn't think he'd get anywhere. The supervillain looks down at him, only his red eyes showing behind his boar skull mask, and he tilts his head to the side, regarding Tubbo while remaining painfully silent.
Holy fucking shit I'm gonna fucking die. Is Tubbos first though, as he looks upon the murderer and terrorist that had been wrecking havoc upon the city for years.
Why is he just standing there… menacingly. Is his second thought.
The silence between them is almost suffocating now, and the cold terror in his veins has thawed from the sudden adrenaline he feels flashing through his system.
Tubbo wants to run, but Ares hand on his shoulder feels like heavy chains.
"Um. Nice night were having, huh?" Tubbo says laughing nervously and cursing to himself internally.
God, where's Tommy when you need him? He would have been able to say something so sudden and unhinged Ares would have startled and loosened his grip.
But no. It's just Tubbo here, alone, in the dark, facing down a supervillain.
"I can feel your fear, little ram," Ares says, and Tubbo can feel his deep voice rumbling beneath his ribs.
"I feel like it would be weird if I wasn't scared right now," Tubbo laughs nervously again, desperately searching around for anyone or anything that could save him.
Seriously, where are the hero's when you need them?
"It's good that you're scared," Ares hums in what must be agreement. "Only fools and hero's shoulder a brave facade when facing me… though I suppose they are one and the same."
They lapse into silence again, Tubbo unsure what to say in reply, his heart hammering in his chest so fast he's suprise he can hear the villain over the bloodrush in his ears.
Ares leans down suddenly, and Tubbo finds himself eye level with the villian. "Are you a hero, little ram?"
Tubbo shakes his head before he even thinks about it.
"But you want to be." Ares says quietly.
And Tubbo… supposes he does. He looks up to Tommy and his heroism and selflessness, and he wishes, sometimes, that he could be so effortlessly kind. But the truth is Tubbo is selfish and only cares for the people who are close to him.
If it had been anyone else under the mantle of Theseus, Tubbo would have never gotten himself involved.
Again, Tubbo shakes his head.
"No?" Ares asks, surprised and finally pulls away.
Tubbo ignores the way he suddenly feels unbearably cold. Ares might be huge and terrifying, but the man radiates warmth like no other.
"What do you want from me?" Tubbo hisses out.
"I wanted to warn you." Ares says simply.
"About what?"
"That hero's don't get happy endings, and Theseus who you're so fond of will be yet another example."
A complicated mix of emotions constrict around his chest. Terror, anxiety, surprise. Tubbo can only blink slowly as he tries to process it all and deal with the threat Ares leaves hanging in the air.
In between blinks, Ares vanishes from in front of his eyes, and Tubbo is truly alone again.
Left reeling and full of adrenaline, Tubbo runs home without another thought.
He never tells Tommy about his run in with Ares and his threat, and maybe that's their first step to destruction, or maybe theirs was a fate they could never control. But a month later, when Tubbo finds himself alone in their apartment – not even a note or a clue left behind by those who stole his best friend – Tubbo can't help but wonder and blame himself.
***
There are crows in Schlatts garden. He looks at them through his window with narrowed eyes over the rim of his wine glass.
He gets the feeling they are watching him back.
"Looks like it's our annual family reunion," Techno says dryly as he shuffles into the kitchen, sleep still clouding his eyes and his gold rimmed glasses sitting on the edge of his nose.
Schlatt snorts and then shudders. "Fuck, don't even make me think about it."
"What's not to love about family dinners, old man?"
The kitchen windows burst open with a violent gust of wind, and both Schlatt and Techno watch unamused as hundreds of crows flutter through with ear shattering shrieks and the flapping of wings.
They coalesce in the middle of the room, until they form the vague shape of a man, and Schlatt downs the rest of his wine as with an explosion of dark feathers and a final crow call, Philza stands in the middle of his house.
"So will I be mailing you the cleaning bill or will you be doing it yourself?" Schlatt asks as he picks a stray feather out of the air and studies it with a critical eye.
"You're not funny Schlatt." Phil huffs.
"You're right, I'm fucking hilarious! Now, what can I do for you today, Death's malewife?"
That gets a snort out of Techno who is now trying to hide in the shadows in the corner of the room.
Phil has one eyebrow raised and a particularly unamused look on his face. "I actually came to talk to Techno."
"Still trying to steal my son from me I see, don't you have your own demigod now?"
Techno huffs as he peels himself out of the shadows and moves to stand beside Schlatt. "That was ages ago dad, get over it."
"I will not!" Schlatt cries, indignant. "He's a fucking kid stealer Tech!"
"Yeah but he's a bad one. I'm still here, aren't I?"
Schlatt lets out a puff of air, but it quickly becomes a snarky grin when he sees the anger on Phil's face, barely hiding the spark of possessiveness in his eyes when he looks at Techno.
"What can I do for you Philza?" Techno says suddenly, sensing the tension between the God and the Angel.
"I came to talk about Theseus," Phil says and crosses his arms over his chest.
"What about the little hero?" Techno asks, tilting his head to the side.
"We're taking him home today, but I'm worried his friend might become a problem."
"Oh! What's this? The Angel of Death worried about a little teenager?" Schlatt barks a sharp laugh. "Don't tell me your talons have lost their sheen already?"
Phil levels him with a sharp glare. "I promised Theseus I wouldn't touch or hurt his friend in any way."
Schlatts retort dies on his tongue when he feels Techno lay a hand on his shoulder.
"I think we can take care of Tubbo just fine."
Oh.
Schlatt had been hoping to bring Tubbo home for awhile now – since he first met the kid actually but that's besides the point – but he'd been waiting for the go ahead from Techno.
Their first meeting hadn't gone exactly as Schlatt had hoped, but Techno must have seen something he liked in the kid, as that's confirmation if Schlatt has ever heard it.
Schlatt clears his throat and idly fixes the lapels of his suit. "Yeah I think we can clean up your problem for you real quick Phil."
Phil looks between them both, before realisation dawns on his face and he chuckles lowly.
"I suppose we'll be seeing each other often now. I think our new sons will be very dear friends."
Phil leaves with the same amount of theatrics that he had entered with, and Schlatt sighs tiredly at the mess of feathers left in his wake.
"Honestly I should talk to Kristen about her taste in men, I am sick of finding feathers in places they should not be."
"Might be time to put nets over the windows," Techno hums. "Maybe then Phil'll use the doors like a regular dude."
"We're getting a cat." Schlatt decides suddenly. "And we're training it to kill birds."
Techno lets out a loud whine. "But dad."
"You can't get me those easy tactics bitch," Schlatt says, pointing an accusing finger at Techno. "You only call me dad when we're bullying Phil or if you want something."
"Do you know how easy it is to train dogs though? I'm sure they can kill birds."
Schlatt frowns and takes a moment to think. "How about we let Tubbo decide?"
Techno grins. "You're on, old man."
***
When Tubbo gets the invite for dinner at Schlatts house, his immediate instinct screams no.
He's not been showing up at work much recently, consumed with trying to find Tommy or just a clue on who took him.
The first time he does come in after Tommy has vanished, Schlatt looks at him with sad eyes and holds him gently as Tubbo breaks down in his arms.
Tubbo tells him everything after that, about how Tommy is a vigilante, about how Tubbo only took this job to help him investigate, even about how they ran away from the foster system together years ago, and only just got steady on their feet.
Tubbo let's all his secrets spill out of him, and he tries not to feel bad for it. Because surely Schlatt won't mind.
Surely, Schlatt who cares for him. Schlatt who is letting Tubbo sob into his shoulder. Schlatt, who thinks he's brilliant, will help Tubbo.
Because as Tubbo looks down at his wrist and sees two thread bracelets there, one red, one green, both with equally worn charms, he feels despair crush him down further.
There's no way he can get Tommy back on his own. Wherever he is.
"I'll help you kid," Schlatt promises him quietly and Tubbo could almost shatter with relief.
Schlatt's going to help him. Tubbo can trust him.
And that's why Tubbo ignores his immediate instinct, and happily agrees to come over for dinner.
Schlatt's house is huge. Which is to be expected. He's the CEO of a modern company, so of course he lives in one of those cold looking modern mansions. Tubbo expects the interior to be much of the same, but is pleasantly surprised to find it has a more homely and lived in feel, shelves and bookcases along every wall are littered with books and trinkets and little odds and ends.
Some of their stuff, especially some of the art hanging on the walls, looks old. Tubbo wasn't ever particularly interested in history, but some of the stuff in this house must date back centuries.
Tubbo finds himself entranced by a sharp looking mace on display in the living room, the plaque reads Plan Z, which is an odd name for a weapon. But he's pulled from his thoughts when he feels Schlatts hand on his back.
"Technos almost finished up the cooking, I hope you like potatoes."
"Sure," Tubbo shrugs. There's an odd feeling in his gut. Like that of impending doom. But for the life of him, Tubbo cannot figure out what's wrong.
"Hey, are you hungry? Do you want a quick snack before we eat? You're looking far too thin these days kid."
Looking after himself has been hard recently. "I could eat."
"Good," Schlatt smiles and it… it should be kind. It looks the same as all his other smiles before.
But this time, it feels like a threat.
"Here, have this apple."
Tubbo looks down to Schlatt's outstretched hand to see a perfectly red and shiny apple in his palm.
Hesitantly, Tubbo takes it. There's nothing wrong here, he tries to tell himself. Schlatt can be trusted.
With a great amount of effort, Tubbo forces himself to bite into the apple. It tastes crisp and juicy and though the bad feeling is still in his chest, nothing bad actually happens.
Nothing that Tubbo can see with mortal eyes of course.
But Schlatt, with horns of shadow now curling around his head and eyes that can see more, watches in triumph as his mark burns across his son's forehead.
"Let's go get dinner now kid," Schlatt says and wraps an arm around his son's shoulders. "By the way, I have to know, dogs or cats?"
***
In the end, Tubbo supposes Schlatt did help him find Tommy.
They see each other for the first time a few years later, Tubbo with horns peeking through his hair and a scared face from a punishment long ago, and Tommy with blinding white wings and clipped flight feathers.
They are not the same people anymore – they never will be. But Tubbo hands Tommy a green thread bracelet, its compass charm having long lost all shine or form, with shaking hands and tear filled eyes. It's the only proof of their shared past and in that moment, everything is okay again.