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The exact moment the man made contact with the hard surface, the helmet around his head retreated, allowing Tony to finally breathe, biting the air as if he were a fish out of water; he hadn't even noticed that he had been holding his breath the whole time, but as soon as his lungs filled with air, he felt tremendous relief at being alive.
He also believed that nothing could overcome the nausea he felt after a day at the carnival with Morgan, but he was wrong. God, if he was wrong.
Staggering on himself, he tried to pull himself up using his elbow as a pivot, failing miserably and collapsing to the ground when a sudden bile of vomit met his taste buds. He narrowed his eyes and unwillingly tried to swallow the bitter rejection, letting out a pitiful moan from his lips.
Yes, this experience definitely didn't hold a candle to the spinning cups Morgan so desperately wanted to get on after eating a Hot Dog.
He stood motionless for a few seconds on what appeared to be a floor and the only sound he heard was his own panting. He hadn't calculated that time travel could be so exhausting, but to be fair, just a week ago time travel didn't even exist, so it wasn't really his fault if he didn't imagine it, right?
Wait. Time travel?
As if struck by a thunderbolt from Thor, he opened his eyes wide, looking around and suddenly remembering the reason for his exhaustion.
They had invented time travel. They had invented it and Tony had voluntarily offered to be the first to test it. After all it was ... 68% his invention, it was a moral obligation for him to take the risk of facing this time heist - as the man of ants loved to repeat - and after receiving warnings from the whole team he had arrived... here.
But where was here?
He sniffed, continuing to look around in confusion, before recognizing the familiar walls: He was in his Laboratory.
He frowned in confusion, before trying to pull himself up again, wrapping his arm around his still aching stomach and glancing up at the ceiling wondering if he had really traveled through time or if it had been another failure and instead invented the teleportation. Nothing in the laboratory seemed different, and although he never paid attention to the order of the room, it looked as he had left it this morning.
He took a deep breath, taking a tentative step towards the nearest desk; he had to find something, anything that would tell him it worked, that they could have saved everyone, but nothing among the thousands of junk on the workbench offered any use. He searched almost desperately among the dozens of papers on the table, but there was nothing that could actually tell him that it wasn't 2023 and that he hadn't just teleported downstairs.
He swallowed, suddenly feeling worse than nausea.
His heart dropped and squeezed in a painful grip as he scattered the papers and various tools on the ground. A sense of dread prevailed in his stomach as he felt his heart beating through the suit.
It couldn't have not worked.
With a violent jerk, he kicked the table in frustration; his head was spinning, the regurgitation always seemed to be on its way, and he had no evidence to tell if it really worked. With another exasperated look at the ceiling, a sudden light hit him and he didn't know why it hadn't occurred to him from the start: Friday.
He could have asked the AI for the year and it was done. The shred of hope that had grown in him in the last few days and was ready to shatter into a thousand pieces just now grew again, but just as he opened his mouth to ask, a voice behind him froze him on his feet.
"Mr Stark?"
"Mr Stark? I don't feel so good "
"I don't know what's happening, I Don't know ... I ..."
"Please save me, I don't wanna go Mr Stark I don't wanna go I don't wanna go"
"I'm sorry"
"Mr. Stark, didn't you have to go to that super important meeting that Ms. Potts explicitly said your presence was mandatory?"
The tone was playful and almost teasing, but the only thing Tony could dwell on was Peter Parker's voice. The exact same, childish and confident voice that had haunted his best and worst dreams ever since Thanos had happened. The same voice coming from the old video diary that the boy had made and that Tony loved to listen to in the most difficult days. The same voice that the man was afraid to forget over the years, being afraid of not being able to remember how cheerful it sounded every time he greeted him, or how soft it was after a patrol.
His heartbeat increased and everything else seemed to take a back seat when a hand rested hesitantly on his shoulder, poking him slowly. Tony jumped and whirled around at the sudden touch, as he felt his breath die in his throat the instant he met Peter's huge, brown and alive eyes.
The man had dreamed so many times of finding himself in front of the boy, hugging him and telling him how much he cared about him, holding him close without letting him go, not being able to bear the idea of seeing him slip from his hands again. In his imagination, Peter told him that everything was fine, he hugged him back and hid his face under his chin, like a child seeking comfort from his father; at other times, he said nothing and barely responded to Tony's touch, but the man would continue to hug him and to talk to him about all those things that had happened in those five years. Now, all these fantasies his mind had made were nothing, because no words and no gestures could express how much he had missed the kid.
A voice in the corner of his head, the rational one probably, was telling him that this Peter was not the same and identical Peter he left on Titan, but it didn't matter because that was Peter, it was his child he hadn't seen in years and the only thing he could do was stare at him with a wide gaze.
"Is everything alright? Are you... Should I call someone? You don't look pretty... " Peter spoke again, oblivious to the turmoil of emotions that were coming to life inside the man, unaware of how important that moment was; for one of the two, at least.
He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but he could not pronounce or emit a sound, stuck in his footsteps as he could only listen and be lulled by his voice.
Peter raised an eyebrow, evidently confused by the man's unusual behaviour, and then let go of Tony's shoulder. It was the wrong thing to do, as as soon as he lost the one physical contact holding him with Peter - the only thing that made him feel real, and not a hallucination created by his desire to have the boy again - he was assaulted by panic, advancing sharply forward to grab Peter's hand and letting a sigh of relief as he felt the vigilante's fingers against his, scared of finding nothing to hold on to.
Peter did not linger even for a second and returned his grip, before looking him straight in the eye and giving him a little smile.
Only that smile managed to warm Tony's chest, but at the same time the man was sure he felt the corners of his eyes pinch and fill with tears. He had never cried in the presence of the kid, heck, he was barely vulnerable, but now, the only thing that seemed right was to bury himself in Peter's arms and cry in his curly hair.
"Mr Stark? What's happening?" the boy's voice came out small, almost frightened by wanting to ask, but neither of them missed the concern that gushed from his words.
Tony blinked several times, hating himself for how the tears flowed so easily with every blink of an eye. He released Peter's hand, which swayed almost lifeless, and then wiped his eyes violently, not wanting the boy to see him so weak.
He covered his face with his hand, breathing with described difficulty and letting a sob come out of his lips.
Pathetic.
This was not how he had planned to go back in time. A selfish part of him was longing for someone else to have time traveled for him, loathing himself as he couldn't even face the boy he considered his son who died because of him.
Peter died and it was only his fault.
Immersed in his thoughts, he was brought back to earth only when a pair of arms were wrapped around his neck and his face was pushed down and pressed against a shoulder.
Peter was hugging him.
A strangled moan came out of his mouth as he recognized the kid's familiar hug, and although they hadn't hugged that often, Peter was a very loving boy and the few times they hugged he made it clear he loved hugs.
This time, it was no different.
Peter's face was perfectly stuck like a puzzle piece against Tony's neck, and without saying a word, the boy offered more comfort than he had received in five years. Pepper hugged him and kissed him a lot, holding him while Tony cried in her arms about the boy he lost; it helped, but nothing could compare to this moment. It was the first time in five years he felt alive.
Tony continued to cry against his shoulder, trying to make as few noises as possible; but the more time he spent in Peter's arms, the more persistent the sobs were, filling the dead silence of the room.
He did not know how many minutes the two spent in that position, the only thing Tony was aware of was that this time Peter would not fall to the ground, slowly crumbling against him. He would never forget the sensation of feeling the boy's arms around him gradually disappear.
“I don't know what's going on… or why you're dressed in this weird way, but uh I'm here for you. Everything will be alright, Mr. Stark" Peter's muffled voice reached his ears and Tony couldn't help but squeeze tighter against the child's body. He didn't give a sign that he had listened, but the hug was more than enough for Peter.
It seemed like an instant frozen in time, which nothing could have ruined. It was just him and the kid again.
Obviously, Tony was wrong.
The man's sobs had just ended when a beep filled the room, and the perfect moment seems to break like a photo frame.
Peter jumped suddenly, walking away a little to be able to look his mentor in the eye.
"Uh Was it from your suit? Is it going to explode or— ” Tony laughed at the boy's simplicity, a simplicity he had lacked every day since he died. Obviously he would have thought something like that, he could not have imagined that it was the sound to warn Tony that he would soon be back in his times.
With great willpower he didn't think he possessed, he shook his head, a smirk growing on his lips as the boy hugged him again, this time crouched against his chest.
"Mr Stark?" Tony always teased him about his age and how he was just a child, but now his voice made him smaller than he really was.
The man did not believe he was able to speak, but he had to try because at any moment he would disappear and the fact that he interacted with the Peter of the past was already bad; he should have at least remedied this and talk to him.
"Yes kid?" the voice came out hoarse and in the form of a whisper; if he had been a normal person he wouldn't have heard it, but Peter was anything but ordinary.
In response, the boy pushed his face more against the man's chest and that single gesture reminded him of Morgan and how often she fell asleep on him in that exact position.
"Mrs. Potts will be mad at you for missing the meeting."
Another laugh left the billionaire's lips, this time pressing his head against the kid's soft curls, and for a second it seemed just as Tony had imagined their meeting for years.
He closed his eyes, savoring that moment before leaving a wet kiss on Peter's head. He had never done this before, but neither of them said anything about it. As embarrassing as it was, it was the right thing to do right now, it just felt right.
God Peter I promise you, I will hug you more often once you get back. And I promise you, I will get you back. I need to get you back. I need you.
Another beep sounded again, and Tony bit his lip in anger, cursing each entity for having no way of being more with his kid.
Peter seemed to notice how he had suddenly become stiffer, but the sound gave him no reason to break away, so he remained still against his chest.
Tony wished it were the same for him.
Taking a deep breath, he began to move away from Peter, feeling his heart tighten when he saw the boy's confused expression.
"Pete, I..."
"Pete? I like that nickname, you should use it more often" A shy, almost mocking smile came to his face to tease him, but stopped when he saw no hint of fun in the superhero's irises.
"But I don't like it when you use that tone" the boy murmured, bringing his hands behind his back and starting to rock on his heels.
"You're not in trouble kid, don't worry" he reassured him quickly, unwilling and despising even the thought that Peter believed the man was angry with him. He never could.
He raised his hand to gently stroke his pupil's arm, feeling his shoulders relax as he saw a smile on Peter's face again.
"Would you go get me a glass of water?"his excuse for pushing the boy away was pathetic, but he had to leave and having probably less than a minute he had to send Peter away asap. It didn't matter how bad it hurt.
Peter looked at him for a few seconds too long before nodding and giving him an even bigger smile. How could a smile make him so happy and free, but at the same time it was able to destroy him from within?
"Of course! After all, I'm your intern, that's what interns do. I presume. Honestly, I have no idea"
Peter started walking away, but Tony couldn't let him go yet, not without telling him how important he was to him.
He didn't do it on Titan, when his kid died in his arms. He wanted to be better than Howard, but was he really?
That's why the first time he held Morgan in his arms he promised himself he would tell her he loved her every day; he didn't do it with Peter, but he would do it with Morgan.
But now, Peter was in front of him and he was walking away slowly, he could not waste this opportunity.
"Peter, wait!" He almost screamed in despair as Peter found himself in the doorway, running up to him and stopping him just before he left.
Peter spun around, facing him with an uncertain smile.
Would I ever see his smile again?
"What Mr Stark?"
The man stopped in front of him, observing every feature, every mole and every detail of the boy's face. He observed how the line of the child's left eyebrow was split, how his lips were pulled into a gentle smile and how many wrinkles (6 to be precise) were created around his every time he smiled.
Tell him now, there may be no other opportunity.
“Kid, I… uh… you're a really good kid and thanks for what you've done for me before. For real. I…" He paused, noticing how the boy blushed with praise, opening his mouth to speak.
"Mr. Stark, don't-"
“No, don't interrupt the adults. It's uh look... I'm not good at this kind of things so I'll just say it" They looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds, and despite the time Tony didn't have it, in that moment he felt that the look Peter gave him lasted days and days
"I love you"
He felt his cheeks heat up but tried to ignore the embarrassment he was feeling, focusing mostly on the kid's face, which was slowly starting to take on the colour of Pepper's hair.
“You don't have to answer, Underoos. Everything is alright. In fact you know what? Do not answer anything"
I want you to answer me once I have brought you back. I'll tell you again and that time you'll tell me too. Then you will meet your sister and the universe w ill be fine. Because you will be back here with me Peter, and I can tell you that I love you as my son every day.
"Now don't stand there and get me a glass of water, mh?" He smiled to ease the embarrassment he had created. He expected the boy to start stammering and gesticulating, usually on his part when he was nervous, but he didn't do any of that.
They looked at each other one last time and Tony swore he saw even for a single second, a flash of understanding cross Peter's gaze, as if he saw all the pain Tony had gone through in those five years and understood it. For a moment, it was like Peter knew everything and the smile he gave him was a reassurance about all of it.
As soon as the boy turned, the man was gone.
He's going to take the boy back and everything will be fine again.