Chapter Text
It was a smoky morning. Gon had burned all the food in the house.
Short, tiny, petit, smoll Gon was standing on a stool overlooking the burning mass of food related items on the kitchen table.
"KILLUA-SAN!!" Gon yelled, he yelled so loud he shattered all the glass in the cupboards and all of the windows.
Killua skated into the room on his skate board
Shwoom.
"Killua-san I made you breakfast!!" Gon screamed, pointing to the burning rubble. He took off the frilly white apron he had been wearing while cooking and threw it on the stove. It caught fire.
"I can't stop..." Killua muttered while going in infinite 360 circles around the table, "can't...stop."
Gon grabbed Killua's arm, "come sit with meeeeee!"
"YOU EITHER SKATE OR YOU DIE," Killua shot out the window on his demonic skateboard, his feet had been super glued to the board.
Kurapika woke up and smelled the smelly smell of smoke. He cringed, and held his belly protectively. Soon he and Leorio would be the proud parents of their darling child. Kurapika was so proud. He looked around the room for his husband; Leorio had fallen asleep on the ceiling fan. As his body rotated limply with the ceiling fan, Kurapika sighed, mesmerized...I love that man he thought, before lifting himself off of the bed. His organic hand knit goat fur sleeping gown clung tight to his pregnant belly, as he waddled towards the smell of fire.
Gon was screaming as the fire began to spread, his screams had sparked Killua's echolocation, allowing him to overpower the skateboard and send himself flying back at speeds of sonic towards their humble abode. Gon turned around as Kurapika entered the kitchen, the fire had spread to his hair.
"Goodmorning Kurapika!!" Gon wailed. He tilted his head sideways, "why is there a party balloon in your dress?"
Kurapika turned ashen "it is an environmentally friendly sleeping gown Gon, not a dress. And this," he rubbed the elastic red material of the balloon,"is my baby, not a balloon."
Gon fell over from confusion; his entire head was on fire. "Well it sure looks like a balloon to me!" he shouted.
Kurapika ignored Gon, "where is Killua-chan?"
Killua shot through the roof, his head was a rocket, he was so fast, he could not be stopped, he was heading toward Kurapika.
Kurapika clutched the balloon underneath his dress.
"MY BABY!!" Everyone was screaming.
Leorio fell into the room, he had been pushing on the door and it had finally broken open, he was on the floor. He had no clothes on; he was wearing his suitcase as a hat.
Kurapika suddenly realized how hungry he was. "Gon, sweetie, where did you put my vegan quinoa kale crackers."
Gon was writhing on the floor, he was doing the worm, he was entirely on fire. "I COOKED THEM FOR KILLUA-SAN'S BREAKFAST!" He pointed at the crumbling black rubble of the forsaken quinoa kale crackers.
Kurapika fainted, "what will I eat to nourish my baby!!." He grabbed onto Leorio.
Leorio threw his glasses frantically at the fridge. "I have a idea!!" He grabbed a soggy newspaper and sat upside down in a lounge chair. Killua was trying to electrocute Gon's burnt hair back. The house was still on fire. "Found it!!" Leorio triumphantly karate kicked through the newspaper and handed a ripped article to Kurapika. 'Hisoka's organic orange farm. Each orange is lovingly kissed three times a day and cradled to produce the happiest oranges on Florida'.
"LETS GO!!" Gon screamed through bolts of electricity.