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Dick had died. Again
(No wait, Dick never died, it was Peter. Peter Parker had died on Titan.)
He had been captured by the crime syndicate and had a bomb linked to his heartbeat. The only way to avoid it going off was to stop his heart. Lex Luther had been happy to kill him and revive him afterward.
It was a good thing because, so soon after Damian’s death, Dick wasn’t sure the family would survive another member dying.
But then, when Dick entered the Batcave, Bruce asked him to stay dead. He asked him to go undercover in Spiral’s network. They were apparently after heroes’ identity.
(Asking is a nice euphemism. Bruce beat him into submission. “One rule you have to win”. It didn’t matter what Dick wanted.)
“It won’t be the same, Bruce,” Dick said, because what could he say? I don’t trust you anymore. Yeah, no. Bruce apparently didn’t care, he wanted Dick as a soldier. Not as a son anymore.
(He hadn’t been a son in a long time.)
So he lost his name. He was called Agent 37 and did some questionable things. He wanted to come home. But had still a home? Would he be welcomed in the Wayne manor? His hands were tainted red now after all.
(He had so many names but not one fitting him. Peter Parker, Spider-man, Richard or Dick Grayson, Robin, Nightwing, Renegade, Batman, Agent 37.)
So when he finally came into the Batcave again – when Bruce finally authorized him-, he didn’t come as any of these identities. He was no one.
“We’re done.” He told Bruce, after giving what would be his last report. “I quit.”
“You quit ?” The older man asked, raising an eyebrow as if he didn’t believe he was serious.
“Nightwing’s dead, remember? As is Dick Grayson. I changed my mind, and don’t want this life back. I don’t want to be your puppet, or your soldier anymore.”
“What about Jason and Tim? You were adamant before you left you didn’t want to leave them.” Why talking with Bruce was like playing chess, always thinking of the next move or things to say?
“They mourned me. It’s better if I stay dead.” They will be angry with him for lying anyway.
“What about Damian ?” Bruce added, as if in a checkmate move.
“What are you talking about ?” He asked confused and trying to kill a new light of hope because Bruce just implied that there was a Damian to care about.
“He had been back for 3 months. Ra’s used the pit on him."
He stayed silent, still as a statue at the revelation. He was so relieved and happy. His baby brother was back. And then he was angry. Angry at Bruce for hiding this for so long, for betraying him like that. If there was anything to save from their relationship, it died here.
(It reminded him of that time he watched Mr. Stark getting betrayed by Captain America in Siberia. When the man his mentor thought of a friend, slammed his shield again and again in his chest. It had been horrible watching it.)
“Oh.” He whispered out loud. “So that’s what he felt in Siberia.” Bruce frowned, likely confused at what he said. Dick shook his head. He could be Dick Grayson again for his little brother.
“It doesn’t matter for you. You and me, Bruce, we’re done. I don’t trust you and don’t love you anymore.” Dick concluded and turned around to the lift. He had a little brother to meet again. He ignored the hurt face Bruce did.
Telling Damian and Alfred he wasn’t dead had been a great decision. They were happy - no thrilled- to have him back.
Telling Tim and Jason had been a little more difficult.
Jason had snapped with so much anger and hatred, “So what? You lied to us? You just went ‘Oh it’s alright if I let believe my family I’m dead.’. Well, guess what Goldie, we’re pissed !”
Tim had been more controlled, “I don’t think I want to see you right now, Dick, you lied to us and we were hurting. You could have said something, but you didn’t.”
Dick didn’t say he didn’t lie, as he really died. He didn’t say he didn’t have a choice, that it had been Batman’s plan, and he had been forced to follow it. He didn’t point out that Bruce knew all along and he could have said something. They were angry with him and not Batman, and it wasn’t fair.
In the end, he went back to Bludhaven.
Only days later, Dick Grayson, as Nightwing, got kidnapped by the Joker. He was suffocating, alone, beaten on the ground, trying to breathe. He coughed, and blood fell on the ground. He blinked several times, wanting the fog in his mind to go away.
Internal bleeding. Not good. He was drowning in his own blood.
No one was coming to help him. He felt helpless and hopeless and oh my god he was going to die. Again. He just came back.
(That’s Parker luck for you-)
A red helmet came into his blurry vision. “Mr. Stark ?” He whispered, and his voice cracked. “I don’t feel so good...”
The person was talking panicked, but Dick didn’t hear them. He closed his eyes and breathed for the last time.
He abandoned himself to the darkness.