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Louis has many flaws, and the one he hates the most is that he cannot remember some of the most important days of his life.
He can’t remember the morning his step dad left, or what he did the day his sisters were born. He cannot remember for the life of him how he met most of his friends that are not from Doncaster, and he surely cannot remember the name of the song that he was listening to while doing the stupid “am I gay?” test when his brain started to think that maybe it wasn’t true that he didn’t like to make out, maybe he just didn’t like to make out with girls.
He can, anyway, pin point the exact moment he realised he was in love with Harry.
“You called your cat… Barbecue.”
“Yep.”
“Because I like barbecue sauce?”
Harry smiles, “you said you don’t like cats but I want you to like her and if she’s called barbecue you’re gonna feel forced to” he says simply, and Louis looks down at the cat, unsure.
Harry is so lovely , he remember he thought. And he was. The most beautiful man Louis ever had the pleasure to look at at, with his dark hair and long legs and his hideous shirts and the greeniest eyes ever and his plump lips and the most amazing heart a man ever owned.
Thinking back, Louis never stood a chance and not just because Harry called his fucking cat barbecue (the little demon is still alive 8 years later and yes, Louis grew very fond of her even tho he swears he isn’t), but because Harry knew how to push all of his buttons, he motivated him to do better and to be better while being the perfect boyfriend to one of the most beautiful girls in his university’s year.
But it wasn’t Madison’s fault that she was tall and blonde and smart, everything Louis wasn’t and that everyone thought that they would make perfect curly blonde green-eyed babies.
Louis was happy with the best friend status anyway. He didn’t need more.
The curse of meeting the love of your life while you’re in uni is that there is a high chance they are meant to be with someone else and in Louis’ case it’s just sucks that the love of his life is his absolute best friend in the world.
They all met in uni: Louis and Madison lived in the same building, Niall and Liam were just across the road from them and Harry was just so clever that he was taking a psychology class that he wasn’t supposed to attend and got paired with Louis for a project and the rest was history.
They graduated together, Madison and Harry dating and Louis pining, and they moved out of the university’s building just for Harry to be a photographer, Madison a fashion designer, Niall to work at a sports magazine and Louis…
Louis was still trying to figure it out while being a manager in the shittiest Urban Outfitters in the whole Country.
He’s 28, he should really leave his retail job.
It’s exactly there that he receives the text message of the century.
From: Niall
mate ur never gonna believe me
madison broke up with harry
Louis would’ve spat his drink on the floor if he didn’t pay 6£ for it.
“ What? ” he texts back, “ aren’t they in Kent to visit her family or smth?”
“Harry just texted me asking me if I want to get smashed tonight” Niall replies quickly, “ I’ll let u know what he says… dnt text him yet!!!”
Louis rolls his eyes.
He will have to wait until the end of his shift.
🐈
He waits.
Harry doesn’t text when his shift is over like he normally would, and doesn’t ask Louis to get dinner together.
Louis texts him an “hey !” that goes unread and he goes to bed after ordering the greasiest burger in west London. Sue him.
🐈
Harry makes an appearance at 3 in the morning.
He slides next to Louis, who wakes up as soon as he feels the weight of someone next to him. He knows it’s Harry before he even opens his eyes, and when Harry’s arm is basically over his head, Louis knows that he wants to cuddle so he moves slightly so his head is on Harry’s chest, “you okay?” he whispers.
“Yes, I knew it was bound to happen.”
Louis breathes out heavily, not knowing what to say, so Harry speaks again, “is it bad that I am not heartbroken? You were when Eddie broke up with you.”
“Yeah, but Eddie had the biggest cock I’ve ever had the pleasure to ride. Not sure about Maddie, but I am sure that if you split up amicably there’s no reason to be heartbroken.”
The taller boy snorts, “it wasn’t an amicable split,” he confesses, kissing Louis’ head, “sorry I woke you up. Niall told me you don’t start until 12 tomorrow so I thought…”
Louis nods, “you don’t have to apologise, Haz” he rushes to say, “this is your house as much as it’s mine and Niall’s, that’s why you have a key. How come you’re not drunk?”
“I knew I was coming here and I didn’t want to get drunk to the point you’d have to take care of me,” Harry’s fingers are going up and down on Louis’ arm and Louis shivers, “what did she say?” he asks and Harry takes a moment before he answers and when he does all he says is that he doesn’t want to talk about it.
Louis lets it go, unsure, and uses Harry’s breathing as a lullaby to fall asleep only to dream about Eddie that night, and their wedding: he’s walking down the aisle, sure that he was gonna marry him, but when he gets to a stop at the end of it, he looks up and Harry smiles at him.
He wakes up with Harry holding him the tightest he’s ever been held.
🐈
Madison doesn’t go to Liam and Niall’s birthday party, she doesn’t text Louis back for three days when he reaches out to ask how she feels and she give Harry’s keys back by leaving them at the till with one of Louis’ colleagues.
“Why do you think she broke up with him? Harry is great,” Louis say to Niall.
They’re out for drinks, and Niall shrugs, “I know the reason,” he says simply and Louis looks at him, furrowing his eyebrows, “care to tell me?”
“Nah.”
“But-“
Niall smiles and sips his beer, “genuine question… Why don’t you tell Harry you want to be with him?” he asks, “he’s single, you’re single, he worships the ground you walk on and has a very weird obsession with touching you and calling you pet names and basically acting up like he’s your husband or something so…?”
Louis rolls his eyes and shrugs, “he was with Mad for what, 7 years? I am sure he won’t have another relationship anytime soon and I don’t want to impose or something.”
The Irish shakes his head and puts both of his elbows on the table, resting his head on his hands, “if I know a person that love relationships more than you do, it’s Haz” he says, sure and Louis finishes his beer in a gulp.
Louis knows everything about Harry: he knows that he bought his house in Lancaster Gate with the money his grandad left him because a royal park is just across the road, and the schools in the area are amazing, and he bought it because it has four bedrooms, one for him and his partner and one for each kid he wants to have. He knows that he decided to be a free lancing photographer cause it means he can make his schedule work to be there for his kids and not be like his dad. He knows that Harry loves love and most importantly, he knows that Harry loved Madison.
And he knows that because he set them up on their last year of uni, (Niall still calls him an idiot. Louis can’t complain about it) after Madison tip toed around him for too long and Louis just wanted Harry to be happy with someone nice.
Well, that backfired a little when Harry got that stupid cat and called her Barbecue .
“I am going to get another drink,” it’s all he says, and gets up without another word, thinking that he’s grateful to have a friend like Niall, even tho he doesn’t understand the extent of his feelings for Harry, because for a long time neither did Louis.
“Hey, can I get two more pints?” he asks leaning on the counter on his tiptoes so the girl behind it can hear him. She nods and when he’s back on his feet, there’s a man next to him.
“Can I buy them for you?” he asks smiling. He’s slightly taller than him, and blonde, and he’s wearing a nice white shirt. He’s everything that Harry is not, so he shakes his head, saying he’s with a friend.
“Can I get your name, at least?”
“Mate, look, I’m not interested. Flattered, but not looking to pull,” he admits. The guy gets closer to him, and Louis steps back, “I’m gonna walk away now, before I do something really dumb like punching your face.”
The guys doesn’t get a hint, and as soon as Louis turns around, he feels a hand on his ass. He turns around so quickly that he’s sure his head would snap, but out of nowhere Harry is next to him.
“He just told you he’s not fucking interested can you get a hint or not? Get lost” he says, arm around Louis’ waist, and while Louis relaxes into the touch, the guy just walks away without another word.
“Are you okay? Sorry, I thought you wanted to act up a little bit but then you walked away. I should’ve stepped in sooner,” Harry says, and Louis doesn’t know if it’s the alcohol, if it’s Harry being extremely beautiful for someone who’s just going to sit down in a pub with sticky tables eating chips and drinking cheap beers, but he turns around and in a second, he’s kissing Harry.
What the fuck did I just do, he thinks once he steps back a little, and even tho Harry looks extremely confused, he steps in again and even before Louis can feel his hands on his face, their mouths meet again.
Louis is trying not to seem so eager, but he can’t help but smile into the kiss. He’s only calm once he feels Harry smile backs, and he doesn’t wish for anything else even tho he really want to kiss . The taller boy bites his lip and Louis realises that it’s time to part his lips, so he does: their tongues meet, and they get impossibly close, way too much considering that they are in the middle of their favorite pub and Niall is somewhere in there, but by the look of it none of them seems to care.
He lets Harry guide him, sucking on his tongue and only when Louis find himself moaning into the kiss, they both put a stop to it.
“Can we…” Harry says, “go to yours?” he whispers and Louis nods so eagerly that his head might snap.
They say their goodbyes to Niall quickly, asking him to give them some space (“ you’re telling me everything tomorrow” he threatens Louis), and Louis is pretty sure that the anticipation, the anxiety and the excitement he feels in his bones is not just lust, but pure, deep love.
Never in his wildest dreams Louis ever thought he one day would be opening his door with Harry plastered to his back while he kisses is neck, with lips so soft that he has trouble concentrating and can’t remember what goddamn key opens his front door even tho he lived in the same flat with Niall for about four years.
As soon as Louis opens the door, they’re in the flat and it’s like Harry cannot stop kissing him, touching him and Louis is a little bit ashamed of the fact that his best friend doesn’t even need to say a single word for him to drop on his knees.
He unzips Harry’s jeans quickly, almost as if he’s scared of this being just a fever dream, and only calms down when he feels the standing man’s hand in his hair.
He relaxes and helps him out of his boxer, and Jesus. He knows he will choke on him, cause Harry is massive, and as soon as he tastes him, it’s like his best friend loses it and a moaned “ fuck ” escapes his lips.
Louis licks the head, and takes it in his mouth moving is tongue around him and Harry pulls his hair a little. He takes it like a praise, so he flats his tongue and helps Harry’s cock in his mouth, moving his tongue and wanking the part he can’t fit in his mouth. He puts pressure with his lips and Harry just moans so beautifully and Louis thinks for a second that there is nothing he wouldn’t do to make Harry make that sound for him again.
“You’re being so good for me, baby” Harry says and Louis feels like he’s gonna explode in his briefs as he pushes his head so Harry’s cock touches the back of his throat.
Harry is making the most wonderful noises, praising him like he’s doing the most amazing thing ever, and maybe he is when he puts it out of his mouth with a pop only to sink down on it, choking himself a little, or maybe he his when he lets Harry fuck his mouth just taking it , or maybe he is his when Harry come down is throat and he hums happily around it, come down is throat and eyes wet with want.
He is so into it that he realises he came in his pants only when Harry helps him up.
The silence is way so awkward and Louis would like to find the words, to say anything, really, but it’s Harry who speaks first.
“Can we go to bed?“ he asks and he does it normally that Louis is confused for a second. Harry is just standing there, in his boxers, with his shirt half open, acting up like Louis didn’t just choke on his cock.
All Louis does is nod, and not even twenty minutes later he’s asleep in Harry’s arms.
He wakes up the morning after with a body plastered on his, and he can feel Harry’s hard cock on his ass. He smiles remembering the night before, and he turns around just to meet Harry’s green eyes, “morning,” he says smiling and Louis smiles back.
“You’re hard.”
“So are you,” Harry says kissing his forehead, “can we do something about it?” he asks with a smirk and Louis hates that he nods so eagerly, and when Harry’s mouth is on his he doesn’t even care about their morning breaths.
Harry kisses him very differently from the night before: he explores his mouth with confidence, and his hands explore Louis body underneath his shirt and Louis can’t help but move his hips forward, making his erection friction with Harry’s, who moans into the kiss just to put some distance between them, “fuck,” he says, “do it again, baby”.
Louis doesn’t know if it’s the pet name, or the fact that he’s finally getting Harry like this but he moves his hips again and again, making their clothed cocks rut together and it shouldn’t feel so natural to get off with Harry, but it is. Harry touches him in all the right places and moves is hips back, like he’s feeling pleasure at the idea of Louis getting himself off like this.
They get rid of their boxers quickly, kissing, and when Harry wraps his hand around both of their wet, hard cocks, Louis whimpers in relief. He lets Harry give him what he wants when he wants it, moaning at everything he does.
They come together, breathing heavily, and when they come down from their highs, Harry kisses the corner of his mouth and smiles.
“Breakfast?” he asks, and Louis nods confused as of why he just got wanked into oblivion by his best friend and said best friend decided not to acknowledge it.
🐈
September passes in a weird way, and Louis find himself in a limbo, a limbo he puts himself in when he deletes the tinder app and lets Harry pick him up from work without even asking him if he wants to go to home or to his.
A limbo he puts himself in every time they cut their evenings with their friends short because Harry is palming him under the table after his hand it’s dangerously been on his thigh all night, and when he drops to his knees without a second thought every time Harry tells him he wants his mouth, or every time he lets Harry call him baby , my love and every single other praising pet name he can think of while he’s inside of him.
A limbo he puts himself in every time he uses his key to Harry’s flat, every time they kiss with no intention of taking it further, or when they cook together, watch shit movies in bed or when he sits on the sofa next to Harry while he edits his photos, and FaceTime Anne and Gemma too many times for Gemma not to get suspicious.
(Harry says that she’s Louis’ evil twin anyways, so it doesn’t really matter if he only replies to her texts asking for an explanation with the middle finger’s emoji.)
So he find himself dating Harry without really dating him, and it’s frustrating: it’s like eating something that looks like your favorite food without really tasting it, it’s like reading your favorite book but not understanding the words anymore, like being loved without being loved for real.
Yet, he can’t stop. He doesn’t want to stop. And every time he looks at himself in the mirror he thinks what the fuck am I doing? but then Harry empties himself in the condom inside of him while moaning an I love you, Lou and Louis believes him every time and feels like everything would be perfectly alright.
🐈
September turns into October, and when one of Harry’s clients tell him that he has a great boyfriends cause her husband would never bring her lunch in the opposite side of London, Harry smiles at her and just says “yeah, he’s the greatest.”
Louis pretends he doesn’t hear him.
🐈
November brings Madison in their lives again.
She waits by the returns till while Louis is serving a customer, and as soon as he’s done he takes a 15 minutes break. His colleagues don’t need to know he doesn’t smoke anymore, anyway.
“It’s been a while,” she comments, “you look great.”
Louis smiles at her, “how are you?” he asks, “I texted you a couple of times, but since you never replied…”
“I am sorry,” she cut him off, “we were friends way before I got with Haz, I should’ve replied but I was just in a weird place. I am better now, tho. I am seeing someone so…”
“Oh,” what he feels it’s not relief, it’s not, “that’s great” he says, sincere, putting his hands in his pocket, “I am really happy for you.”
Madison smiles, “thanks. I suppose you and Harry…” she leaves it hanging, and Louis is quick to shake his head, “we’re not” he says, “he’s really busy with his job, and I need to look after Niall before he gives himself another std or something.”
“Are you really not together?”
Louis shakes his head again, “l… Why did you sound so sure?” he asks quickly, and she just shrugs, “I just assumed considering the reason we broke up for. Sorry? I thought you were interested?” she looks confused, but then one of Louis’ colleagues calls him from behind the door and Louis has to say a quick goodbye.
Later that night, when Harry is petting his hair in his bed, he asks Harry if he spoke to Madison at all.
“Just once,” he admits, “I had plenty of her clothes at mine and I gave her a call about a month ago to know if I should get rid of them or not. Why?”
“She came by during my shift,” Louis says, and Harry turns around quickly, “really? Why?” he asks nervously so Louis lowers his eyes while he says, “Harry, you know that if you still have feelings for her we don’t need to keep seeing each other like this, yeah?”
“ WHAT? ” Harry says quickly, “no? I don’t have feelings for her,” he turns around and finds himself basically on top of Louis, “I would never do the things I do to you, if I was in love with someone else.”
Louis’ cheeks turn pink at that, “it’s not like you popped my cherry” he tries for a joke but Harry just leans down and kisses him, “no, but I ate you out in the shower this morning and made you come untouched… I’d say that’s better.”
Louis smiles and tries not to think about the fact that yeah, Harry ate him out. No biggie.
“Alright. She is dating a guy, by the way” he just says, “can I ask you something?”
Harry nods.
“Why did you guys break up?” he asks, “you never said, and she said that apparently our friendship has got something to do with it?”
Harry looks down at him and shuts his mouth. “Did she say anything else?”
“No.”
“Okay,” Harry says, “are you coming to Craig’s housewarming party with me, tomorrow?“
“Gosh, you would think it’s my fault of something,” he jokes “and yeah, I am coming with you,” he answers back and Harry nods, dipping his head down so he can attach his mouth to Louis’s.
He kisses him slowly, Louis melting into the sheets and when he feels Harry smile on his mouth, he smiles back. He opens his eyes, and when Louis does the same, he asks if he can fuck him again.
“I am still,” he moans out when Harry reaches for his already half hard cock, thumb circling the head, “still open from earlier” he mumbles and Harry nods, reaching for the pack of condoms on the nightstand.
The problem with Harry is, Louis thinks, that Harry knows what he’s doing: that’s why he doesn’t take his eyes off of Louis while he rolls the condom down himself or when he moves to kiss Louis’ body all over. He starts from his ankles and goes up, kissing his calves and then concentrating on his thighs.
“I love your body so much,” he says before sucking a bruise on his left thigh, making Louis whine both for the praise and for the sensation of his best friend ’s teeth on him and he shivers a little.
When Harry reaches his chest, he leaves another mark and smiles to himself, “I’m the only one who can see these marks,” he says, “the only one who can have you like this,” he continues, tongue tasting his skin, and when the tip of his cock gets past his rim, he kisses Louis sweetly, saying “the only one you want like this” that gets lost in their mouths but that makes Louis nod, cause the thing is: Harry is not wrong.
He slides into him slowly, and Louis stops breathing for a second and when Harry bottoms out, giving him a second to adjust, Louis thinks that what he sees in Harry’s eyes cannot just be lust or love for a best friend.
“Can I move?“ Harry asks, and when the smaller boy nods, he kisses him again, moving slowly. Soon, the only noises in the room are their moans and their skins moving together, and Louis anchors his legs around Harry’s body and he feels him everywhere.
There are many things Louis loves about this but the way Harry feels close to him while they’re having sex and the way he whispers the filthiest things he’s ever heard in his ear while kissing him and biting him and clearly losing it over him just make everything perfect.
They are perfect.
🐈
Craig is a guy that used to work with Harry before Harry decided that photography was his path in life. He is nice enough, and very proud of his house in south London.
Louis asks himself why would anyone live in south London several times before he realises that Craig is not bragging about his house, he’s just trying to make a move on him.
Craig is nice: he’s tall, and has a great beard and his eyes are dark and he’s got dimples and Louis most definitely doesn’t let him touch him because Harry is chatting with Madison on the opposite side of the sitting room.
“So, Harry told me you are the manager of a shop in central London, is that right?” Craig asks and Louis nods, “been working there since uni, I don’t love it but the pay is great. Are you still working for the same company?”
He is trying to find Craig somehow interesting, but all he can think about is Maddie’s hand on Harry’s bicep and Harry laughing at something she said, so he just flirts. He touches, and puts his body in a way that makes him seem like he’s available and when Craig asks if he wants another drink Louis nods and thanks mom for these eyelashes he thinks while he nods.
As soon as he’s left alone, Harry materialises next to him.
“Why was he touching you? He doesn’t get to touch you” he complains, and Louis rolls his eyes at him, but can’t stop himself saying, “for the same reason Madison was touching you, you tosser.”
“Madison doesn’t want to fuck me, she was telling me about her boyfriend.”
Louis nods, “well, I don’t have a boyfriend to tell Craig about,” he says, and he regrets it the moment the sentence leaves his mouth, and not only because Harry looks truly hurt but because he drops the hand that was touching him.
“Don’t you?”
“Not that I know of,” Louis bites back and he should really stop, he knows he should, “do I?” he asks back and Harry licks his lips, “I think we should leave” he then says, “I am going to say goodbye.”
“Why?”
“Because I am about to cause an embarrassing scene just because another man touched you,” he says calmly and Louis is taken aback from the sincere answer, so he just nods and when Craig comes back with his drink, he drinks it in one go before saying goodbye.
They wait for their uber in silence, and not a word is spoken through the whole ride, and when they get into Harry’s house, Louis doesn’t know what to do so he picks Barbecue up and sits on the sofa.
“You must be upset if you’re cuddling her,”
Harry comments entering the room, and Louis huffs, “I am the only reason she has a name, so it’s only fair I show her love once in a while.”
“Well, be my g-“
“What the fuck happened tonight?” Louis blurts out, “you can flirt your way into everything and it’s okay, and but when I get chatted up it’s not and it’s so frustrating because we date Harry. But then you see Madison and it’s like I don’t exist anymore and it’s not fair because I can’t keep doing this if your head is somewhere else.”
Harry sits down on the sofa next to him, and he sighs, “I was so jealous,” he admits, “the way he was clearly flirting with you. Are you… Did you…”
“I haven’t been with anyone else but you since way before we started fooling around. But you have to promise me you’re not fucking anyone else because if you are…”
Harry slides from the sofa to the floor and kneels down in between his legs, “no” he says firmly, “I haven’t, and unless you tell me otherwise, I won’t. I value our friendship more than anything else, I wouldn’t do that to you, not when you trust me like this.”
Friendship, Louis thinks, I don’t let my friends kiss me in front of my sister and I don’t let my friends sit on my face before I go to work, but to each their own.
“Ok,” Louis says, and when Barbecue jumps off of his lap, he kisses Harry on his head and nods, “don’t worry, I trust you.”
And the worst part is that he does trust Harry with his life, and most importantly, his heart.
🐈
Things go on.
Barbecue is their cat, now.
Harry’s house is now home. To both of them.
They never talk about it anymore, not when they go out for dinner with Louis’ colleagues and one of them tells Harry how incredibly happy Louis looks because of him or when Harry’s family drives down to see a play in central London and they sleep over and act like it’s totally normal to see Louis wearing Harry’s clothes in the kitchen first thing in the morning.
It’s great, and when they drive to Doncaster on Christmas Eve to celebrate Louis’ birthday, his mom stands next to him while watching Harry play with Ernest and Doris, and she puts her head on his shoulder, whispering how great Harry is in his ear.
“He is,” he whispers back, “he’s the very best” and it feels like the best kind of secret.
They hold hands the whole drive to Holmes Chapel, and Louis thinks that best friends don’t normally do this.
He doesn’t say anything, and when they’re in bed and just kiss sweetly for most of the night, he feels like a little boy who almost said I love you too soon.
🐈
Louis realises he’s into it a little bit too much mid January.
They went to Maddie’s birthday party, and when they come back they barely make it past the door by the time Harry is thrusting into him on his kitchen counter, kissing behind his ear only to stop to whisper an “my favourite place to be is inside of you” that makes Louis whimper, trying to push his ass back to feel Harry deeper.
That makes Harry bite the lobe of his ear, and Louis throws his head back: he wants to feel Harry everywhere, wants to feel his come drip out of him wants to…
“I wish I could fuck you bare,” Harry says in between thrusts, almost as if he could hear his thoughts and Louis moans loudly at that, shaking his head, “pleas- oh my God” he breathes heavily, “I want it so much” he says and then for a split seconds he realises that doing it bare is for couples and they’re not a couple. Or… Are they?
Louis is just so confused, and he wishes he could think about anything other than the feeling of Harry’s cock hitting his prostate but, yeah. Harry is massive, and thick, and he can barely function when he feels him inside.
When Louis comes, he does it while Harry is hitting on his prostate slowly, making Louis feel everything while holding his arms behind his back.
When Harry comes, he spills in the condom kissing Louis’ shoulders.
🐈
They end up doing it bare on Harry’s 28th birthday.
Louis puts together a surprise party for him in their favourite pub, and Harry kisses him in front of everyone like it’s second nature and Louis loves how everyone takes pictures of them together like they are a couple, and when Anne refers to Louis as Harry’s partner, they don’t say anything.
Harry never leaves his side, even when Madison shows up at the party: Louis invited her thinking that there was no point in pretending she wasn’t part of Harry’s life, and even when she shows up without her boyfriend, Harry doesn’t say anything and to Louis, it looks like he actually doesn’t care.
It’s after a while that Harry whispers a “don’t drink too much, I have plans for you” in his ear while Louis is talking to Gemma about her new house.
They leave the party before anyone else because apparently Harry wants to have a chat , and as soon as they’re out of the pub, Louis back is against the wall and Harry’s mouth is on his.
Harry’s tongue tastes like the strawberry daiquiri he’s been drinking before getting away from the pub, and when they’re both starting to get hard, Harry puts some distance but kisses his neck instead, “I got tested,” he says, “I want to fill you up and then watch my come drip out of you” he whispers and Louis honest-to-God moans.
They start walking to Louis’ flat after that, hand in hand, and Harry smiles the whole way.
“You look like a serial killer,” Louis jokes, “why are you smiling like that?”
Harry winks at him and one of his dimples pop out, “I had a great time tonight,” he says, “my favorite person in the universe threw me a party and he invited all the people I love,” he squeezes Louis’ hand gently, “he wore a matching shirt with me even though he doesn’t like that kind of stuff,” he explains, “and when we’re home he’s gonna get on all fours on the bed, he’s gonna let me eat him out like he’s my fucking birthday cake and then I will get to fill him up,” he playfully says, and Louis’ cheeks feel hot. “How do you even say stuff like that without a ounce of shame in your voice?“
“Have you seen your ass?”
“Harry, stop!“ Louis slaps his arm and Harry laughs, “jokes aside, I had a great night. Thank you, Lou” he kisses his temple, “I love you."
“Love you too, H” he shoots back, “and I’ve got one more gift for you, by the way.”
Louis is wearing panties. He’s been the most uncomfortable all night just to make Harry happy, and when Harry sees him in them, he gets kissed like never before.
Harry makes him sit on his face while wearing them and Louis body feels like it’s on fire, and when the curly boy moves them aside to start eating him out, he swears he’s never been harder in his life.
Louis is in love, and Harry is so gentle with him while whispering the filthiest things he ever heard anyone say, and when he pushes into him Louis swears he’s never felt anything like that: Harry feels even bigger somehow.
“You feel so fucking good,” Harry says, slapping Louis’ left ass cheek while he thrusts into his prostate. At that, Louis’ arms give up and he ends up arse up with his face in the pillow and Harry just bends on him, kissing his back and his shoulders, “no one else gets to see you like this” he says and truth is that Louis would never trust anyone else to hold him down the way Harry is.
They come together, and when Harry pulls out Louis whines a little but smiles.
“Are you okay?” Harry asks kissing his face and Louis nods, taking his hands and pulling him down, “I didn’t go too hard on you, did I?”
“You slapped my ass and I came, I guess that’s an answer. We should change the sheets.”
Harry shakes his head, “I think we’re gonna sleep in this sheets so tomorrow morning you’re still gonna smell like me and I am gonna wake up happy. I can’t believe you wore fucking panties for me.”
“Well, I did.”
“I swear I fucking died when I saw them.”
“Happy birthday?“
“The happiest. Next year let’s skip the party and just fuck in every room of the house.”
Louis snorts, but he can feel warmth spread in his chest. Next year .
He will talk to Harry. He’s sure everything will be fine.
🐈
The two weeks after Harry’s birthday pass in a bliss of what Louis thought were dates, pub hangouts with Niall and Liam, sleepovers and an incredible amount of sex. It’s like they can’t keep their hands off of each other and when Niall refers at Louis as Harry’s boyfriend, Harry doesn’t correct him so Louis is really decisively confessing his love for him.
Except everything goes to shit on a Friday evening, because someone up there hates Louis and they want him to suffer.
It’s raining, Oxford Street is extremely busy (he needs to quit his retailing job, he knows) and the tube is packed, but he knows that in a bunch of stops he will get to shower and spend the night at Harry’s cause Louis didn’t have a weekend off in so long that he might cry from happiness at the thought of not having to navigate central London on a Saturday.
He gets out of the tube in Lancaster Gate the same way he did just a couple of days before and he’s glad Harry has such a great job that he lives two minutes away from the tube.
Except, when he rings the bell, he wishes the ground would eat him whole.
Cause a man opens the door.
A man opens the door and he’s wearing one of Harry’s bottoms up.
And he’s clearly freshly out of the shower.
Louis can’t breathe.
“Hey! Harry is just finishing a phone call, do you… Are you okay?”
No. “Yes. I am… Actually. Forget about it. Sorry I interrupted whatever you guys were doing.”
The guy looks at him, unsure, “you don’t look like you’re okay, mate. Let me-“
Louis waves at him and starts walking. He doesn’t even know where’s he’s walking to, maybe Liam’s cause he lives close by, but he just walks under the rain and he should really stop before his brain makes him jump in front of a car but before he can snap out of it, someone grabs his hand.
“Where the hell are you going under the rain?”
Harry is dressed up in the stupid Adventure Time’s shirt Louis bought him when they were in uni and he hates that Harry still owns it.
“I don’t wanna see you anymore, Harry,” he blurts out, “whatever we were doing means so much to me and clearly nothing to you at all.”
“Wha-“
“I am in love with you, Harry” Louis says, “I am in love with you since we got paired for that psychology project during our first year and maybe before that, and I sat through your relationship with Maddie and I patiently waited because I hoped, deep down, that if you got to experience the relationship-me, you would fall for me the way I fell for you” he says and when Harry steps closer to help him under the umbrella, Louis steps back and it’s like his mouth hasn’t got filter anymore so he just starts speaking again, “and I know, I know that you care about me but I love you so deeply and I just can’t fit in your life like this. I have to get away from you because I love you so much with everything I have and I am sorry this is not enough.”
“Louis, I-“
“You don’t have to say anything, the fact that there is a half naked man in your house, wearing your clothes is enough. Let Liam or Niall know if I have to get tested for… Anything.”
He steps closer this time, and kisses Harry’s cheek but then he runs away.
Harry’s legs take a while to start walking again, and when they do the only trace of Louis Harry has, is the feel of his lips on his cheek.
🐈
“This is ridiculous, does he still live in White City? I am going to talk to him” Madison is wearing her jeans again, and looks genuinely upset. And so does Tim, cause he was the one who opened the door. Harry shakes his head, “what’s the point? He thinks we fucked, he’s never gonna forgive me.”
“If I talk to him, he will. Did you even ever tell him the reason we broke up?” she asks, and he shakes his head, “I can’t believe he’s in love with me.”
“You’re the only one who’s shocked, honestly.”
“Maddie…”
“What? It’s true, Harry! I could call the Prime Minister and she'd be more than happy to say that they called the cat Larry after you both."
“Stop calling us Larry .”
“Nah,” she says, crossing her legs on the white sofa, “do something about it. Now.”
“But…”
“Harry, we broke up cause you called me Louis while we were making sweet, sweet love. I deserve to see you two together” she says, and Tim tries not to laugh.
Harry sighs, “I told you I’m sorry” he says, “but you don’t know him like I do, he’s not gonna believe anything I say. He hates liars and cheaters and I… I got caught into whatever we were doing and now I ruined our friendship just because-“
“Oh my God, were you always this thick? He told you he’s in love with you. That must count for something? If you don’t do something I will make Niall and Liam do something. Like… Beat you up.”
Harry smiles at that and nods.
🐈
Louis cries and cries, and the cries some more.
And again.
By Monday morning, when he makes his way to the stupid shop he works in, his eyes don’t have the sparks that everyone always say they had, he hasn’t eaten in about two days and he only showered cause he had to have human contact with strangers. (And also because Liam and Niall locked him into his bathroom the night before.)
Harry hasn’t tried to contact him at all, and that somehow is a negative answer to all of his prayers. By Friday, Louis is sure, he will be fine, and if he won’t then he will do whatever Harry did to try get over Madison: fuck someone he doesn’t care about at all, and it just sucks that that someone, to his best friend, was him.
He’s on edge all day, like his guts are hoping Harry will show up.
He doesn’t, and when Louis gets home Niall smiles at him, “someone sent you flowers and a package.”
“If that someone is not Andrew Scott, you can let your mom’s dog shit on them.”
Niall laughs, “that’s why I throw them away already but saved the card and the package for you. They’re on your desk.”
Louis throws himself on the sofa, “he came by, didn’t he?“ he asks and the Irish nods, “of course he did. He said he’s gonna come around again tomorrow. He’s doing Mad-“ he stops mid sentence, “he’s doing a photoshoot in the area for a couple of days. I told him you work the same shift everyday this week so you shouldn’t see him.”
“Thanks, Nì.”
Niall sits next to him on the sofa, and Louis puts his head on his friend’s shoulder. Niall smiles. “You guys will be fine,” he says, “I will probably need to find a new roommate as soon as you forgive him, he’s not gonna let you out of his sight.”
Louis shakes his head, “not gonna happen, mate” he says, “I’m going to have a shower. Chinese?”
“Chinese” Niall confirms, and as soon Louis is in his room, he can’t help but go over his desk and look for the card.
He sits at the bottom of his bed, and he opens the envelope quickly.
Dear Lou,
we will always be enough.
H
Louis sniffs at that and he’s not proud of the fact that he feels much better, and all because of a card. He needs to try harder, but then he opens the package and he sobs at the sight of the university jumper that’s in front of him.
Harry was wearing it the day they officially met, and Louis knows it’s that very same jumper because there is a stain on the left shoulder, a stain that Louis left there the first time they talked to each other.
He cries a little bit.
And wears the jumper to sleep.
🐈
“He’s keeping the flowers now, Harry, that must count for something.”
Niall and Liam are really trying to be a good friend, but sometimes Harry can be difficult.
“I miss him,” Harry moans into his beer and Niall rolls his eyes, “what were they even doing at yours, anyways?”
“They had a meeting around two blocks from mine and it started pouring when they were walking to the tube. I saw them when I was parking my car and the rest is history.”
Liam snorts, “shit timing for Louis to come home, wasn’t it.”
Harry nods, “I am just… So in love with him, guys” he confesses, “I am so in love with him that I would move back to Holmes Chapel cause I know he wants to have a big family and he would never let our kids grow in central London, that I would buy him a puppy even tho I am terrified of dogs, and I am willing to spend our Sundays driving to go to Doncaster so he can watch football matches with his family” he sighs.
Niall pulls a disgusted face, then turns to Liam, “see! This is what I’ve been putting up with for the past 10 years.”
“Did you name your kids as well, while you were at it?”
“Of course I did,” Harry says shocked, smiling when Niall says “of course he did!” at the same time. Liam laughs and pats Harry shoulder, passing him his own beer, “mate, just give him time.”
🐈
A week passes and Louis comes home from work with more flowers, more cards, and more clothes item from Harry.
He sends Louis the shirt he was wearing the first time they had sex, or the jumper he wore when Louis went to Holmes Chapel with him for the first time, or the matching shirt they wore for his birthday, and all of them come with a card, and all of the cards make him hopeful that maybe, after all, Harry truly cares about him. But he needs answers, not a card that comes with the most beautiful flowers he’s ever seen.
“NIALL” he calls from his room, and when the Irish shouts a “what?” back, Louis gets up.
“What?“ Niall asks again and Louis sighs, “do you know why Harry and Madison broke up?”
Niall nods, "I already told you I know."
“Care to tell me?” Louis asks and Niall thinks about it for a minute, “you know what? I am fed up with this,” he says, “Harry called her with the wrong name while they were having sex.”
“What?”
“Yeah.”
“ What?” Louis asks again.
He’s not surprised Harry didn’t want to tell him the real reason, but when Niall starts speaking again, Louis almost stops breathing with how much he’s laughing.
“Why do you think she stopped coming around?” the Irish asks, “Harry only told me because he was drunk, but they were at her parents and he called her- Lou ? Stop laughing!”
Louis tries to collect himself enough to speak, “it’s embarrassing but not the end of the world. I wonder why he never wanted to tell me.”
“Well…”
“What?”
“I think you should talk to Harry.”
Louis shakes his head, “why?
Niall sits down on the sofa and pats the space next to him. The older boy sits down, and Niall sighs, “Harry is so stubborn,” he says, “but he absolutely adores you. You know that, don’t you?”
“I do. And I am so glad he’s happy with whoever that guy is, I am sure he's a lovely bloke, and I will eventually meet him. But for now, I-“
Niall shakes his head, “I am gonna let you in in a little secret,” he says, “Harry and Madison broke up because Harry fucking moaned your name while they were having sex and if this doesn’t say something to you then…”
Oh.
Oh.
“I need to talk to him.”
“You do.”
“Right now?”
“Right now. He’s at home. Want me to order an Uber?”
“NIALL!“ Louis gets up and starts pacing around the room, “he… He is an idiot” he panicks, “why didn’t he say anything?”
“Because he-“
“He didn’t even say a single word when I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore” Louis says exasperated, and he kind of feel like he wants to pull his hair out. He’s wearing a jumper that’s way too big on him and he lifts him up slightly to get his phone out of the left pocket.
He orders a cab quickly, while Niall smiles looking at him and finds the fact that Louis is basically running around their shared flat moaning about how dumb Harry is.
When the cab arrives, Louis waves at him quickly and jumps in the car, legs shaking and everything, and when he knocks on Harry’s door half a hour later, he breathes in and out heavily trying to calm himself down.
“Louis? You have a key you never have to kno-“
Louis pushes him on the side to walk into the house, and when he is in he looks at Harry with his arms crossed.
“You are stupid.”
“Louis…”
Louis shakes his head, “no! You don’t get to talk, you had plenty of time so now it’s my turn” he says, “I set you up with Madison. I pushed you into dating her, pushed you to meet her parents, asked you one too many times if you wanted to have maybe one day have kids with her and all this fucking time you had the hots for me?” he asks.
Harry looks at him, green eyes wide. “I… What?”
“I put myself through hell for your stupid frog face, to see you happy and you had the guts to moan my fucking name while having sex with her?”
“How do you know that? And I never asked you to put yourself through anything for me, I-“
“You are so fucking dumb, I swear! I did it for you! Because I love you so much and you never said anything. Why didn’t you? We could have… We could have saved our friendship! And now it’s all ruined just because you couldn’t…”
Harry steps closer to him, and Barbecue puts her head out of the living room door to spy on them but even the cat is confused so she goes back to her afternoon nap. The green eyed boy looks down at Louis and for the first time since the Madison accident he feels warm again: Louis is so beautiful even when he’s upset for no reason, and when the older boy realises Harry is just staring at him, he sighs.
“Did you really called her by my name while you were fucking?”
“Yes,” Harry says simply, “cause I am constantly thinking about you. Don’t you understand that?” he asks, “I thought the flowers and the card were enough of an explanation.”
“What the fuck? Harry that is so wrong.”
“That I have to think about you to get it up? Tell me about it,” Harry tries to joke but Louis shakes his head, “I didn’t want to say cause it’s so weird.”
“It is.”
“And you love Madison.”
“I do.”
“And you don’t like confrontation.”
“I don’t.”
“And liars. And cheaters.”
“Well, technically you didn’t cheat as we’re not together.”
“But I want to be.”
Louis smiles, “what, a cheater?” he teases, and Harry shakes his head, “I want to be with you, Louis.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t want to to tip toe around you anymore,” he gets closer and Louis nods, “I want to come pick you up from work and walk to Soho to that café that you so much like, I want brunch with Niall and Liam and Soph, I want to decide if we want to spend Christmas with my family and Boxing Day with yours because apparently birthday sex is the best way to celebrate our birthdays so we would be busy on yours and I want to… I want to marry you, someday” he confesses, “and I wanted this for a long, long time. Way before I broke up with her.”
“And why didn’t you say anything?”
Harry shrugs, “because having you in my life as my best friend was better than not having you at all,” he says like it’s easy, “but I have been craving this for a long time.”
“So, is this what it is? A crave you have?”
“No, it’s love. I love you, Louis. I really do, and I am sorry I never did anything about it.”
Louis doesn’t know what to say, so he gets up on his tiptoes and kisses him. Harry makes a surprised noise, but reciprocates the kiss and as soon as he does, Louis relaxes into it.
They’re fine.
🐈
The problem, for Louis, is that he had plenty of sex in his life: sex with men he thought he loved, sex with strangers that he can’t even remember the face of. He loved sex, but then he started fooling around with Harry and Harry knew how to push all of his buttons and he realise that non of those man was Harry, so he’s is fairly sure that this thing between them will have to work out for the rest of their lives cause as soon as Harry is between his legs, pushing slowly into him, he’s sure that no one else will ever make him feel like that: no one else will have his body shake to the point that he has to hold on to the the sheets, trying not to come.
Once Harry is inside of him, he doesn’t move for a good minute and Louis doesn’t know what to make of it. Harry just stares at him, and Louis’ cheeks are on fire, he’s naked and Harry is towering over him, and he feels exposed, and when Harry moves slightly to adjust, a whimper escapes his mouth.
“I love you so much, Lou” the taller boy says, and when Louis smiles, he starts moving. He thrusts into him slowly paced, kissing everywhere he can reach, and Louis just bites his bottom lips, cock hard and wet and red and he is so in love with this wonderful man on top of him that all he can do is just take it the way Harry loves him to.
“Don’t touch yourself,” Harry says, “come on my cock” and he kind of orders it, it’s not a question or a request and Louis loves that it’s not. His hands shakes, holding the sheets so strongly his knuckles turn white. Harry’s hips move fast and steady, and when Louis moans a “ ‘ant to ride you ”, Harry nods, kissing him. They switch positions quickly, Harry squirting some more lube on himself, and Louis sinks down on his length with a moan.
“Hands behind your back,” Harry orders, again, and Louis obliges, hole stretched and cock painfully hard. Harry puts his hands on his hips. He doesn’t move, he looks at Louis waiting, and Louis takes it as an invitation: he lifts himself up slightly, only to start moving his hips, and maybe it’s the fact that he’s actually having Harry the way he always wanted him, or the fuck that Harry moans a “fuck yourself on my cock ” that Louis can feel in his lungs or the fact that his cock brushes his prostate without really hitting it, but Louis comes with a shout and collapses on Harry who thrusts one, two, three more times before coming inside of him.
Louis breathes into Harry’s neck for a while before speaking, he can feel Harry’s hand on his back and he never wants to move, “you know you’re never gonna get all of your clothes back, yeah?”
“I figured, what’s mine it’s yours anyway.”
Louis kisses his chest, “anything else you want to share with me before we get up?” he asks, and he should really stop talking and worry about their come drying on them or the fact that Niall is probably wondering if he’s still alive, but he’s so content while Harry holds him that he can’t bring himself to care. Harry snorts, “there are plenty of things I would like to share with you, to be honest.”
“Okay. Go on, then.”
The curly boy kisses his head making him smile, “Madison knew I was into you a long time before I slipped and called your name. Which, for the record, was the most embarrassing moment of my life to date,” he explains, and Louis lifts up his head so he’s staring directly into Harry’s eyes, and he finds himself grinning like and idiot while he says, “you must have wanted me so much.”
“Since the first time I saw you,” Harry admits, “I remember telling Niall that it was fate, cause your name is Louis and mine is Harry so obviously we were meant to be great together,” he winks at Louis, “but then we became friends and I thought that maybe one day… But then you kept pushing me with Maddy, and then you started dating Eddie and I just pushed the thought at the back of my head thinking that maybe we were just meant to be friends.”
Louis shakes his head, “I love you, Harry” he murmurs sincere, “I really do and I hope you know that I never doubted you cared about me, I was just so heartbroken that you would go behind my back with another man. Who was that guy, anyways?“ he asks and Harry laughs, “Tim! Maddy’s boyfriend.”
Louis looks confused, so he lets Harry explain, laughing embarrassedly, cursing himself for how much time they lost, time they could’ve spent together, happy, like a normal couple.
Louis holds back tears when Harry promises him that they got the rest of their lives.
🐈
“I do wonder why most of the clothes in this room are yours,” Louis whines, throwing a lilac jumper in the box in front of him, making Harry snort, “yeah, I do wonder as well,” he answers, “good thing you’re moving in with me, maybe I will be able to wear some of this stuff again.”
“Or maybe I will just steal more stuff, careful what you wish for,” Louis jokes and Harry gets up, hugging him from behind, “I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted, not sure I’m gonna wish for anything else ever.”
“Do you?”
Harry nods, kissing the side of his neck, “a boyfriend with the best ass in the universe,” he says, making Louis laugh, “I get to live with him and look at his grumpy, pre-cereal face every morning for the rest of my life,” he continues, “he finally accepted his love for our cat, and he let me adopt another one.”
“I love Mayonnaise. She’s a funny cat.”
Yeah, their cats. Their house. Their engagement rings. Their. Their. Their. Louis kinds of gets off on it, and, if you ask him, so does Harry.
“And I love you, Lou. So much.”
“Love you more. Love you always.”
(They definitely don’t tell anyone they got engaged the same afternoon they got together, deciding they needed to live together the same day. They don’t tell anyone they got married a month after because it fell on the same day they officially met. They do tell everyone when Alexandra comes into their lives, tiny feet and blue eyes. And if they adopt a third cat and call her Ketchup, it’s on her and her only.
And they couldn’t be happier.)