Chapter Text
He looks just like he does in her most vivid dreams, standing there in the light, all devilish smile and sparkling eyes, and at first, Xian Lanhua is certain she is dreaming.
Surely this is just one of her terrible dreams where she’s so convinced Donfang Qingcang is right there beside her that she will be confused for a long, painful moment when she inevitably wakes up, all alone, in her bed.
“I’m back,” he says, two simple words in that perfect, deep voice she has ached to hear for five hundred years. Hearing it makes everything go suddenly fuzzy at the edges—because her dreams are never this vivid. Her subconscious has never been able to quite reproduce the exact timbre of his voice, nor the way his lips seem to caress her name when he says it.
He gives her a dazzling smile that reaches his eyes and lights up his entire face. All at once she knows, with a clarity she never experiences in dreams, that this is real. He is here. Her heart feels too large for her body, and the world shrinks down until there is nothing left but glorious sunlight, the cool afternoon air… and him .
She goes him, and he is in her arms before she even realizes it’s happened. Just like that, the years that have passed since they last saw each other simply melt away. His strong arms go around her at once, the heady comforting warmth of him an old, familiar intoxicant she will never forget—not if he disappears again once she lifts her face from where she’s buried it in the crook of his neck; not if she lives for another fifty thousand years.
He pulls back a little and scrutinizes her face with the familiar intensity that has haunted her since the last time they were together, as though he is worried she will vanish again the second he lets her go and is trying to commit her features to memory just in case.
She knows the feeling.
“Why did you wait so long to come back to me?” she breathes as tears stream down her cheeks. She feels shaky and stupid, the reality of him being here muddling her brain and making her weak-kneed and dizzy. She winds her arms more tightly around his neck to keep from falling to the ground with happiness.
He says nothing in response—what can he say?—and then he inclines his head towards her, his smile growing. Her mind is racing with a million questions. Are you well, Dongfong Qingcang?; Will you stay with me forever, this time?; Do you still love me as much as I love you ?—but before her mouth can form the words his lips are slanting hard and urgently over hers with a passion that curls her toes.
This is not one of the shy, tentative kisses they shared when the impending war between the Fairies and the Moon Tribe loomed over them like a dark shadow. This is breathless and all-consuming, fueled by the desperate pain of their long separation and the impossible joy of reunion. Dongfang Qingcang’s lips are achingly soft and inviting as they brush against hers, and when she traces his plush bottom lip with the tip of her tongue he opens for her, sighing contentedly into her mouth.
A lot of people come to see her here at Arbiter Hall, now that she is the Goddess, and a small part of her worries one of them might see them doing this now—but it doesn’t matter. Dongfang Qingcang is here. His strong arms pull her impossibly closer as he deepens the kiss, and in this moment there is nothing else.
“I... have to leave for Cangyan Sea in the morning,” he murmurs against her lips, breathless and apologetic, a moment or an hour later. “I must let them know I am alive. I am certain Xufeng has been doing a terrible job as Moon Supreme in my absence.” His cheeks are pink and flushed, his mouth still so close to hers she can feel the sweet warmth of his breath fan across her lips. She tries not to hear what he is telling her, tries instead to focus on his handsome face, on the way her blood sings from kissing him, on the way the little hairs at the nape of his neck tickle her fingers as she plays with them. On how good and how right it feels to be in his arms again, kissing him at last.
But it’s impossible to ignore what he’s saying. His words, and the understanding that she’s about to lose him mere hours after he’s come back to her again, crash through her, threatening to break her heart into a million brittle pieces all over again.
“Don’t go,” she pleads. “Stay.” She straightens in his arms and reaches up to push a stray lock of his hair out of his face. His eyes are hooded, dark, a little dazed as she trails her fingertips lightly across his brow. His breathing has gone a little ragged, a little quick. Then again, hers probably has too.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he promises, fervently. “A few days. A week, at most. And then, I swear to you that nothing will ever come between us again.”
“Then stay with me tonight,” she counters, trying to be bold, and thinking of all the times she’s wished they’d taken their love for each other further when they had the chance.
His breath hitches, and he leans in, resting his forehead against hers. His arms slide downward until his hands rest meaningfully at the small of her back. His hands are so warm; just like the rest of him. She wants to burrow into him like a blanket, cover herself with his protective warmth.
“All right,” he whispers. His jaw works. “Would… do you want to…”
He trails off, unable to get out the rest of the question. His cheeks have gone from faintly pink to nearly red.
“I would,” she says.
He swallows, and lets out a deep, shuddering breath.
He takes her hand.
She takes him home.
Her bedroom is little changed from what it was when he was last here, in those days when she pretended not to know him and he acted as her servant to win back her love. Her furnishings remain simple and modest, with shelves for her books and her growing supply of medicines, and a small bed that gives her a breathtaking view of the clouds surrounding her home.
As she watches him take it all in as if for the first time, Xian Lanhua cannot help but think back on how fine the Moon Palace rooms were, and how squalid her modest home must feel to him in comparison.
She has spent the endless years since they were parted thinking of how they very nearly wed, before everything fell apart. But even though he is with her now, against all odds, and gazing down at her like she hung the moon, she doesn’t know if he has spent their time apart thinking about how very close they came to belonging to one other forever. Whether he’d even meant it in the first place when he’d said he wanted to marry her.
She decides to push these worries aside for now. Now that he’s here she won’t waste any more time on regret or recriminations.
“Xian Lanhua,” he says, her name on his lips a sweet melody. He gingerly sits down on her bed, leaning back against the dark wooden headboard. He stretches out his legs in front of him, crossing them at the ankles before patting the spot beside him.
He looks up at her, eyes wide.
“Sit with me?”
His voice is uncharacteristically shy. The hand closest to her trembles a little on the mattress. She wonders if he’s nervous. If history is any guide she suspects they’re about to spend the rest of the night talking, holding one another close—and kissing. When she takes in the strangely anxious look in his eyes, Xian Lanhua wonders—not for the first time—whether for all Dongfang Qingcang’s bluster and domineering personability he has ever been intimate with another person before.
She hasn’t, of course. There has never been anyone in her life but him. Either way, she isn’t nervous. She has imagined lying with him, pleasuring him with her mouth, and taking him into her body, countless times during the long, lonely stretch of centuries. She all but leaps onto the mattress at his invitation, her heart beating hard inside her ribcage as she rests her head on his shoulder and stretches out her legs beside his.
She stares down the length of their bodies, to the place at the midpoint of his calves where her feet only just reach.
He’s... just so big , she marvels. She’d almost forgotten, in the time they’ve been apart.
She likes it, though, that he’s bigger than she is. She always has. Beside him she feels safe, cared for, his body and his caring heart twin shields that will always protect her no matter where she is or how far away from her he might be.
They sit silently together for what feels like hours, pressed together hip to hip. It occurs to her that she has no idea what to say to him now that they are finally alone together, and here. She wonders what he is thinking, and if he can hear how violently her heart pounds in her chest. She wonders if he knows how desperately she wants him to touch her, or how much she wants to tell him everything that’s happened to her in the centuries since he’s been gone.
But she says nothing. And neither does he. Now that they are here, their painful separation hangs heavy in the air between them, a palpable, uncomfortable tension, making her jittery and anxious in a way she hadn’t been a moment ago.
At length, Dongfang Qingcang lets out a long breath and seems to come to a decision. He nods, and then puts his hand on her upper thigh and flips it over, wordlessly inviting her to twine her fingers through his.
“There are... so many things I want to tell you, Xian Lanhua,” he murmurs, as she takes his hand. “So many things I want to ask you. But…”
She presses a gentle kiss to his cheek, enjoying the way he smells—like promises and starlight—and way his light stubble scratches against her upper lip.
His breath catches.
“Go on, then,” she encourages, kissing him again. “Tell me. Ask me. Whatever you want.”
He huffs out a breath. “It’s… difficult to focus right now.”
“Is it?”
He nods once, very stiffly. His cheeks are turning pink again. The hand not resting in hers is starting to curl in on itself, into a fist, at his side. He clenches his jaw. “Yes.”
Seeing him get flustered… well. That’s new. And it’s adorable. She grins and decides to tease him a little more. She leans over and whispers, right into his ear, “Why is it difficult to focus, Dongfang Qingcang?”
By way of response, and without warning, he grabs her and hauls her onto his lap, positioning her so that her legs are slung over his hips. Once he has her where he wants her he wastes no time, crushing her to his chest and burying his face in her neck, his hands clutching at her body like she’s his lifeline.
“Because,” he murmurs, as he presses hot, wet, open-mouthed kisses to the sensitive spot where her neck meets her shoulder. He nips at her with his teeth, then soothes the bite with a gentle swipe of his tongue. She can feel what he’s doing to her in the pit of her stomach, at the base of her spine, as his hands continue to knead at her shoulder blades and he positions her on top of him just so . Her body is turning to jelly in his hands, her mind wiped clean of all rational thought. Of anything that isn’t this, and him.
“Because , Xian Lanhua, I can’t stop thinking about this. ”
His lips on hers are nearly bruising in their intensity, his fingertips digging so hard into the soft flesh of her hips she’s sure to have marks there tomorrow. But it doesn’t matter. Kissing him like this after so much time apart is a revelation. Her hands wind their way into his soft hair, remembering how much he’d liked it when she ran her fingers through it before. She scratches gently at his scalp as she gives a gentle tug. He groans brokenly into her mouth, as he kisses her like she’s his salvation.
The sound, the feel, of her tightly controlled Dongfang Qingcang starting to unravel beneath her quickens her breath further and sets fire to the blood in her veins.
“Xian Lanhua,” he whimpers. "I have missed you so much. Every day we were apart was a fresh agony. I died a million fresh deaths while I was away, and fought with everything I had to return to you."
Her heart clenches at his tender confession. Words fail her. And so she surges forward, deepening the kiss, determined to show him all the love she feels for him in her heart. When her tongue darts out and seeks entrance into his mouth, he gives her exactly what she wants, just as he always does. He parts his lips, and whimpers again when she trails her tongue along his, teasing and tasting.
“I missed you too," she murmurs. His breath hitches, then goes ragged. His hands roam up and down her back with such heated intent it makes her knees quiver. The idea that they might finally explore each other’s bodies tonight, after long centuries of longing, is enough to coax a whimper from her own throat before she’s even realized it’s happened.
"Let me give you a proper wedding night, Xian Lanhua,” he says, unexpectedly and abruptly, between feverish kisses. She freezes on his lap, lips still pressed to his, fingers still tangled in his thick, soft hair. Her eyes go wide and, heart pounding in her ears, she lets her hands fall to the mattress.
She pulls back so she can look at him.
Dongfang Qingcang’s pupils are so fat they’ve all but swallowed up his irises, and his chest is heaving, his breathing as quick and labored as if he’s just run a mile. But his voice is clear and strong and his hands have stopped shaking. The look of steely determination he is giving her is one she has seen on his face countless times before, albeit in radically different circumstances. It tells her he means exactly what he is saying right now, just as much as he’d meant it when he promised to change her destiny.
Xian Lanhua opens and closes her mouth several times, scrambling in vain for the right words to say.
“Lying to you, telling you I did not love you,” he continues, voice thick with emotion. “It was the hardest thing I have ever done. And then your dying without my marrying you first… without even…” He trails off, and shakes his head. “You are my wife in my heart, Xian Lanhua. Now that I’m back, I want you to be my wife in every other way as well.”
If Dongfang Qingcang’s strong arms hadn’t been holding her upright Xian Lanhua is sure she would be floating off into the clouds. She tries to process his words, but all of this—the incredible things he is telling her; his being here with her in the first place—is too much. Her heart is racing, but her mind feels sluggish, too slow, like it’s only working at half-speed.
She blinks at him. “So… does this mean…”
He pulls her against his chest again, gently positioning her so that her head rests on his shoulder.
“It means I want to marry you.” He kisses her forehead, then sighs, leaning forward until his cheek rests on top of her head. Is this really happening? “When I have finished with my business in Cangyan Sea, I plan to bring you back home with me and give you the wedding—and the wedding night—we did not have before.” He presses another kiss to her forehead. “You will be my Moon Queen at last. If you’ll have me.”
There is a tentativeness in his final words that breaks her heart. How could he doubt that she wants to marry him? She swats him playfully on the shoulder, amused by the affronted look it earns her.
“Of course I’ll have you,” she chides. “That’s a silly worry to have.” She pauses, and looks away, suddenly feeling a little shy. “But you don’t want to... have our wedding night tonight?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
“No?”
“No.” He swallows. “For one thing, I didn’t come prepared. I don’t have any poetry with me. Or wine."
She has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing at that. “I don’t need poetry or wine.”
“Well maybe I need them,” he says, eyes sparkling. “When we come together for the first time I want it to be… special.” He gently tilts her chin up so that she has to look at his face. His eyes are a little overbright, the look he’s giving her so earnest it breaks her heart. "Besides, after spending more than five hundred years wanting you, I am quite certain that once I begin making love to you, I will never want to stop. I'm not certain I'll even be able to stop. When I take you for the first time I plan to love you, and love you, and love you until the mattress beneath us breaks, until your body is entirely spent, and until you no longer know where you end and I begin."
His gaze is so heated it sets every nerve ending in her body alight. She dips her chin to kiss him again, powerless to resist the pull of his words, eager to make them come to fruition as soon as possible. Her eyes close against the feverish warmth as he kisses her eagerly, like a man starved, his hands coming up to tenderly frame her face. She shifts impossibly closer to him, as though she can merge their bodies together through sheer force of will.
“I want to make you mine right now, in every imaginable way, Xian Lanhua" he breathes against her parted lips.
"Then do it," she urges, impatient. Though she is at once both Orchid and the Goddess, no vestiges of Orchid's inherent shyness remain in her now. She runs her hands down his chest like his body is her property, and fumbles with the fastenings of his robe.
His hands clamp down around her wrists like twin vises, stopping her.
"Soon, my love," he promises, breathing the words against her parted lips. His voice is softer now, and so gentle it nearly breaks her heart. "But first... we have been apart for so long, and I want to know everything about what you have been doing and how you have been faring in the years since I last held you. I want to talk with you, ask you questions and listen to the answers you give me until I have to leave you again in the morning.” He closes his eyes. “There is an emptiness in me that only news from you can fill. I can’t think of any other way to explain it.” He sniffles a little before adding, “Please; tell me how you have been.”
And so she does.
The rest, she decides, can wait until he returns--and makes her his wife.