Work Text:
“Hey.”
The cushion dipped slightly next to you. You almost flinched, you hadn’t heard him come in. Jason softly adjusted against the couch, his arm resting atop the back of the cushions as he faced you. You were sitting in the manor’s living room, knees to your chest when you zoned out in the quiet room.
“Hi,” you said, softly. You knew why he was here. He was the third person to come in – the first and second being Bruce and Dick, respectively. You wanted to tell him to go away. To tell him that you didn't need him to coddle you, that you would be fine soon. But did you really want him to leave?
"Have you eaten yet?" His voice was soft. It usually took on that tone when he was talking to scared children.
You didn't respond. Instead, you moved your head, planting your cheek onto your knee to observe his face. His face seemed relaxed, presenting an air of nonchalance. The slight twitch of his mouth, however, betrayed his emotions. After a few moments of silence, you responded.
"No." You weren't hungry. The pain and the guilt eating away at you left little room for feelings like hunger. You shut your eyes.
The back of your throat burned and you swallowed, trying to hold back the tears. Your eyes were red from crying and they burned, feeling dry. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw her face. Her wide eyes, mouth hung open from her slack jaw. You turned your head back to face forward, head buried in your knees. You tightened your arms around your knees, your fingers burrowed into your skin.
Jason placed a hand on your shoulder. The warmth from his palm made you return to the present, albeit slightly. You heard his low voice speaking softly into the still air.
"Look at me. Please.” His tone wasn’t demanding, only gentle. You turned your head a bit towards him. He brought another hand up, laying it on your cheek to guide your head to fully face him. It felt cool against your heated face. His brows furrowed. “Let me help you, sweetheart. Just tell me what you need.”
His visible concern and care made your eyes tear up. Why were you crying again? When Dick and Bruce tried comforting you, you were emotionless – nothing they said evoked your tears. The only difference this time was that it was Jason. Jason.
At the sight of a tear running down your face, he put his other hand on your cheek – one thumb wiped away the tear while the other softly caressed the flushed skin.
"Tell me." The words were whispers against your face. You reached your hands up and laid them atop his.
"I," you hesitated. "I think I need a hug." The last word of your sentence was accompanied by a broken sob, more tears running down your cheeks.
Jason pulled you in immediately, adjusting you so that you're sitting on his lap, your face burrowed into the crook of his neck. His arms wrapped around you and your hands rested on his chest, fisting his shirt. The tears came down harder now, your cries louder with them. You felt his hand rubbing up and down your back, the soothing motion gradually calming your body.
After a few minutes, your sobs finally quieted, only hiccuped breaths escaped you. You pulled away slightly, realizing you wet his shirt with your tears.
"I-I'm sorry…" you whispered. He shook his head, his lips brushing against your head.
"Don't apologize." The hand rubbing your back moved up to hold the back of your head. "Do you feel a little better?"
You nodded lightly. You felt mostly tired so you told him just that.
"I could carry you to your bed if you want." The nonchalance in his voice made your heart skip a beat. You wanted him to hold you again so you agreed.
"Okay," you said, nodding. He shifted his arms – one under your knees with the other on your back – and hoisted you up, standing up from the couch. The ease with which he picked you up would've made your face hot, if it weren't for the tears that already did so. You realized you must’ve looked awful, tears and snot running down your face. The thought made you bury your face into his shirt again, your arms moving to rest around his neck.
You didn't notice, but Jason's lips quirked at your actions.
"Thank you," you whispered. He hummed in response, the cadence of it sounding like 'no problem' or 'of course I would help you'.
The rest of the walk to your room was quiet and you listened to the sound of his heart the entire way. When he arrived at the door of your bedroom, he pushed it open, walked inside and let it shut as he moved to gently lay you down onto your bed.
"Jason?" The word was almost too quiet to be heard, but he caught it anyway. He hummed again in reply. "Could you stay with me a bit longer..?
A small smile played on his lips. He took the side of your bed, laying down next to you and faced you. You laid on your side, facing him as well. It was silent for a moment.
"Hi," you whispered.
"Hi," he breathed back.
"I probably look like a mess, don't I?" You let out a watery chuckle and wiped your eyes.
"No," he muttered. "You don't." You could've sworn you heard something like longing in his voice.
"Thanks, again," you began. "The hug really helped." You allowed a slight smile to grace your lips, but they quivered as you took in more steady breaths to calm yourself.
"I'll always help you. No matter what you need." Jason sounded resolute, like the idea was engraved in his very being. His hand found yours and held it, the warmth combining with yours.
The action made you push forward, encircling your arms around his body and pushing your face into his chest. He didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you, resting one hand on your head with the other resting on your back. You both held each other tight. After a minute, you heard him speak.
"It wasn't your fault." His voice was raspy – the words spoken into your hair. You shook your head, not agreeing with him. "I'm serious. You couldn't have made it in time. She was already–"
His words broke off as he felt you shake, your breath coming out unevenly. His hand started rubbing your back again, his lips leaving small kisses on your head.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up." Your hands held on tighter, trying to will the memory away.
"No," you managed to say. "It's okay."
His lips rested on your head and you nudged your face into his shirt, breathing in his scent. It calmed you further.
"I just…If I was just a bit faster, a bit better, she wouldn't have died." Having put that into the air, it felt that much more true. If you had made it to the warehouse faster, the girl might have survived. Instead, just as you arrived, you saw her dead body – all bruised and broken – hung up like a doll for a show. Her lifeless eyes were wide and her broken jaw made her mouth hang open. The sight of it shook you to your core. Scenes like these were just one of the many gruesome sides to being a vigilante.
What was worse, was the fact that her killer was still roaming free. He escaped just before you arrived and Bruce was still tracking him down. Who knows who his next victim would be. It was your fault.
"She was already dead an hour prior, before we knew of her." Jason spoke, breaking your train of thought. "Her death isn't on you. It's on him."
"But, I should've caught him. I didn't-"
He cut you off. "You're not the first nor the last to let a criminal go. Don't dwell on it, it won't do you any good." His voice became softer. "Trust me."
You allowed his words to sink into you. He was right. Jason continued talking.
"We'll just have to catch him before another person is taken." His hand carried on rubbing up and down your back. "I heard from Dickface they got some evidence at the crime scene. It won't be long before we know where he is."
Hope bubbled in your chest. You pulled away, sitting up.
"I should go help them." You made an attempt to move off the bed but Jason's hand caught your arm, pulling you back into him. This time, his front was to your back and his arms wound around your stomach, resting his hands there.
"No, you shouldn't," he breathed into your neck, his breath tickling your skin. "What you need is some rest and to gobble down some food. You're not going anywhere until you sleep."
The position you were in made your heart hammer in your chest. You felt more heat creep into your already flushed face. Your hands moved to lay across his own.
"Okay," you replied, taking a deep breath and settling into the bed. "Will you stay with me?"
Your inquiry secretly held two questions – one of them not referring to the position you were both in. You weren't ready to speak about your feelings, so camouflaged words were enough for now.
"Yeah." His face pressed into your nape, leaving a small kiss with his breath. His affirmation seemed to reply to both your questions, though you knew that wasn't possible.
You interlocked one of his hands with your own and brought it to your mouth. Pressing a gentle kiss onto his skin, you felt him smile against your nape and with that, you closed your eyes. Only the sounds of both your steady breaths filled the room and you fell asleep. Luckily, it was a dreamless sleep – one you really needed.
You awoke a few hours later with your head resting on his chest and your legs intertwined together. Maybe if you told him how you felt, this would happen more often. You let out a sleepy grin and closed your eyes again, cherishing the steady rise and fall of his chest. With time, you would work on the after-effects of witnessing the scene in the warehouse, but for now, you enjoyed the feeling of your body resting against his.