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nil.
There are few memories that remain of Khaenri’ah in Kaeya’s mind- all of them fading to dust, just like the nation itself.
Little of them are of happy times, but every once in a while there are glimpses of a once glorious nation. Marvelous technology, a people striving for innovation with no Archon to reign them in. He remembers wide rooms with large windows displaying the sweeping expanse of the crown city. He remembers a throne in that room: golden, regal, ornate. When he tried to comfortably sit he found the back too deep and the sides too wide. So he sank back against it and pressed his head against the cool material, eyes drinking in the indigo sky splattered with stars.
Another time, he remembers someone holding him. “You could lead them one day,” someone says in a soft voice. “We do not need dreams or an archon to bring us towards the future.” He does not remember these people, nor the face that so sadly said goodbye.
The rest of the memories share a similar tone of adults fussing around, stressed about something that Kaeya does not understand. He doesn’t understand the words used then either, like alchemy, khemia or even field tillers . The confusion doesn’t end, not even when his father takes him away from the palace and brings him far, far away. The sky is clear, dotted with stars, but far from the amount he could see from home. Unease fills his bones- he remembers how dry his throat felt, matching the air around him. Court mages follow Kaeya and his father as they walk barely paved paths and finally arrive at the bottom of a cliff. His father shoos them away with a flick of the wrist and turns to him.
“Kaeya,” he says. He places his hands firmly on Kaeya’s shoulders. He angles his head towards his son, but he does not truly look at him. Instead, he glances beyond, where the sun is setting behind Kaeya. “My son,” he continues, anchoring himself on his son’s shoulders.
“This is your chance. You are our last hope.”
These are the last words his father ever speaks to him. There are no apologies, no farewells, just the simple truth of what must be done. He squeezes Kaeya’s shoulder with his hand- it is not warm, but it isn’t cold either. His hands do not shake but his eyes betray all: hatred and hope and guilt and regret. Kaeya will never know what those feelings were directed at. He never really wants to.
The next moments are a blur- the mages come back, murmuring and crowding around him. His father stands back, gazing at him with eyes that convey too much. The eyes that they once shared.
And then, without warning, something sharp pinches his spine his fingers his bones and then it is cold cold cold -
I.
Kaeya’s eye scans across the dimly-lit alley for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. Beside him, Vile sighs and adjusts her ponytail and does the same.
“He should be here by now,” she says, lips curling into a frown. “Normally he’s not this late.”
“Not this late?” Kaeya echoes. “I didn’t know you involved yourself with such rude people.”
His boredom eases slightly at the sight of Vile rolling her eyes. “The same thing could be said about you, y’know.”
“I suppose.”
Truth be told. Kaeya is growing a little impatient. He’s here to follow the trail of a string of break-ins that had plagued a couple of the neighborhoods. They didn’t seem connected at first, especially since the robberies were scattered location-wise. But after some quick networking and observation, the families involved were all old friends. Soon enough, Vile found a mutual friend who was suspiciously unscathed by the recent events- and that was all Kaeya needed to know.
Solving petty crimes isn’t something one would immediately assume belonged in the jurisdiction of a cavalry captain, but someone had to go and take all the horses with them on their months-long expedition to Archons-know-where. So here he is.
He’s about to take another jab at Vile’s intel-gathering skills when something scuffs against the pavement in his blind spot. Shooting a glance at Vile, she confirms with a nod. Their target has arrived. He steps back into the shadows as per the plan.
The man- mid thirties, thin, brown hair, flushed cheeks, clearly intoxicated- stumbles forward. Kaeya fights the urge to freeze some ground below his foot just to see him fall on his face.
“You’re late,” she greets. She doesn’t bother hiding the venom in her tone.
“Sorry,” the man- Landon- slurs, sounding very drunk and not at all sorry. He squints, trying to make out her face in the flickering lamplight. “You’re not th’ normal guy, are ya?
“No,” she says, flatly. “Boss thought it would be an easy first job. Clearly, he was wrong.”
If he heard or cared about the last part, Landon doesn’t say anything. He shuffles forward, opens his satchel, and shoves a jingling bag into Vile’s hands. She opens it and palms the coins, scrunching her nose in distaste. She heaves a deep breath, and shakes her head. “Not enough, pal.”
“What?” He shouts. “C’mon, that should- it should be more than enough!”
“Sorry, I don’t make the rules,” Vile shrugs. “I was told to collect…this much more.”
The two squabble back and forth. The plan here is for Vile to draw out a confession, to which Kaeya would appear from the shadows to arrest him. It seems to be working well enough, although Kaeya wishes he would just hurry up and crack.
“Do you know how difficult it was, planning those robberies?” He finally snaps.
“My sincerest apologies, but I’m just the messenger here.”
“Fine,” he mumbles. “It won’t be hard to find more gullible little families anyways.”
Kaeya raises an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” Landon mutters. “Me and my old buddies used to be inseparable. And then, we grew up, and they all married off and started pretty little families and left me all alone. It’s unfair!”
“Wow.”
“I know!”
Well, clearly this man is a pathetic little thing. Kaeya sighs dramatically, then steps forward. As the lights cross his face he sees Landon’s eyes widen. He whips his face back to Vile, then back to Kaeya.
“This- he- you-” he splutters. “This was a setup!
“I’m afraid so,” Kaeya says, slipping into a smooth voice easily. “It’s been a long night for all of us, so do me a favor and just come with me.”
“I swear, Captain, I didn’t-”
“I heard everything.”
Landon looks at him, jaw agape. Nobody moves. Then, as the wind flickers the lamplight again, he bolts away.
“Ugh,” Kaeya groans, before chasing off after him. It doesn’t take very long to catch up, given Kaeya is faster than most people and Landon is still a little drunk. Kaeya decides to fufill his earlier wish and freezes cuffs around his feet, and the culprit falls on his face with a squeak. Kaeya squats down and lifts him up by his shirt collar. There are traces of genuine fear in his eyes, and Kaeya can’t help the smirk that bubbles up at it.
“See? Should’ve just made it easier for yourself.”
Kaeya carries him back to headquarters, and dumps him unceremoniously at the gates. The guards rush forward and thank him, to which he waves off with an easy grin and nonchalant excuse about watching out or something or other.
He trots down towards the gates- Vile is waiting at Angel’s Share. When he arrives, she fixes him with an odd look.
“You know,” she starts, staring straight into his eye. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you work so fast on a case before.”
Perhaps so. Perhaps he was incensed by the way the families combed through their houses, wondering how much they could afford to replace. Perhaps he was compelled by the wounded little boy who was caught in the crossfire, whose friends gathered around him to wish him well. Perhaps he was left dry mouthed after his brother pleaded with him to find the person responsible, to keep his little brother safe.
Kaeya plasters on a smile he knew wasn’t convincing anyone. “Perhaps I was bored.”
II.
Three polite, curt knocks are what free Kaeya from his dazed staring at the vase in the corner of his apartment. His body aches when he rises from his chair, aided only by the cool press of his newly-acquired vision strapped to his hip.
Jean is standing in his doorway, cheeks flushed from running, eyes red rimmed. She looks much less put together than she normally allows herself to be, but she still tries to collect herself before speaking. She scans him- takes note of his bandaged arms and gauzed-wrapped head.
“Kaeya,” she says, breathless. “I am so, so, sorry.”
Ah. Of course. The events of the last 48 hours. No wonder she’s here.
“Yeah,” he greets. He’s sure he’ll come up with a better response to the flood of condolences that are sure to arrive the minute he steps into the public. But for now, Jean doesn’t seem to care enough about how either of them look, so he’ll leave it be. “Come in.”
They sit across from each other at Kaeya’s dining table. Neither make eye contact, neither speak a word. Between them, an opened envelope sits. Kaeya sips his coffee, waiting for Jean to react.
“Master Crepus was a good man,” she finally says.
Was. It’s odd to refer to him in past tense. The sound of his voice and image of his face is still clear as day. He swears he can still remember the feeling of his hand warm on his shoulder.
“He was,” Kaeya agrees. He can’t feel his tongue. “He didn’t deserve to die like he did.”
Jean sighs sadly. “I’m sorry,” she repeats.
Kaeya shakes his head. “Don’t be.” Jean already forces herself to bear the burden of so much guilt.
“Did you see Diluc before he left?” She asks, after a moment. Kaeya briefly glances at his arms. Wrapped in so many bandages one can barely see the burns cooling. They itch.
Yes, he saw Diluc leave, slam the door in his face and run. Mourning, betrayed, heartbroken, angry. Kaeya doesn’t blame him in the slightest. He doesn’t know where he went, doesn’t know where he’s going. He’s not sure if he deserves to.
“Yeah,” Kaeya echoes, “he left.”
Jean glances at his Vision again, then at his arms. Something flashes in her eyes, and she bites her lip.
For a moment, Kaeya considers telling her the truth. All of it. Ursa and the Fatui, Crepus and the Delusion, the Knights and the coverup, him and Khaenri’ah. But the flames of Diluc’s wrath are fresh in his memory- there is no way he can return if he bares his true self again. And he cannot risk losing Jean. Jean, who truly and honestly believes in the Knights and their mission to protect Mondstat. Jean, who seemingly ran here as soon as she got the news to check on him.
Jean, who wholeheartedly trusts him. She is a saint and a fool.
So he does not say anything more about last night. He doubts he ever will.
Still, Jean deserves some honesty, if only a sliver of the whole truth. “I almost feel like I shouldn’t be allowed to mourn.”
“Kaeya, it’s okay to be upset about this. Master Crepus may not have been your biological father, but he was still important to you.” There’s a hint of disdain in the way she describes their relationship, like even suggesting they weren’t real family disgusted her. “And Diluc’s your brother, no matter what anyone says. You should be able to be sad about that.”
“Hm.” He doubts Diluc will ever call him brother again.
Silence falls over them again, thick with words unsaid. The noon bell cuts through them, reminding Jean of another duty left unfulfilled. Kaeya rises to let her out.
But before she leaves, she hooks her arms around his waist and pulls him in for a hug. Kaeya freezes, but allows himself to indulge.
“Take care of yourself.” And then she’s gone.
A clock ticks in another corner. Diluc’s Vision burns in the bottom of the vase. Kaeya settles back down in his seat and resumes staring endlessly at it.
III.
Angel’s Share is oddly quiet. Kaeya assumes this is one of the reasons he’s able to share the company of one Sister Rosaria tonight. She sits at the counter, 3 stools away to his right in his supposed blind spot. Evidently, she doesn’t want to be noticed.
Well, that’s a shame for her. Unfortunately for her, as of late she’s piqued his interest- a mysterious nun who doesn’t seem to give a damn about piety. Rumors say she disappears in the night to do Archons know what. With all the trust the people of Mondstat put into the Church of Favonius, it wouldn’t be that difficult to take advantage of the privilege the position of Sister provided. It was only natural for Kaeya to be curious. Cautious, even.
The fastest way to get to someone’s true nature was intoxication. And lucky for Kaeya, Rosaria seemed to be a fan of the tavern scene.
“One Death After Noon if you would, Charles,” he calls, waving over the bartender. Then- putting on his most charming smile and tilting it towards his target, “and whatever the lovely lady would like.”
Rosaria turns to face him fully. Her mouth is contorted in a frown, but she has an eyebrow raised in interest.
“I’ll also have a Death After Noon,” she says to Charles. Then, to him. “Thanks, I suppose.”
Kaeya nods. “Of course,” he responds easily. Charles passes them their drinks. Kaeya knocks it back easily, happily savoring the taste.
He looks back at Rosaria, who is circling the rim of the glass with her finger and eyeing it warily. She notices his staring and narrows her eyes. “What’s your motive here?”
“Motive? Whatever do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.”
Kaeya sighs. Clearly this will be a longer process than expected. “Perhaps I just wanted to make a new friend, Rosaria. Is that so bad?”
Her glare turns frosty.
Ah. He forgot to ask for her name. She certainly did not forget he didn’t know it.
“Okay, okay.” He gets up, dusts his pants off, and puts the correct amount of coins on the counter. “I’m afraid I have other matters to attend to tonight. We’ll have to continue this conversation later. Have a good night, Sister.” Her icy gaze follows him out of the tavern.
It takes several more bought drinks and even more nights at the bar to get her to open up. Slowly, he begins to piece her together- raised by bandits, brought by Varka to Mondstat where she joined the church. She has little idea of what or who she's supposedly worshiping-
("Praise Barsibatos," she mutters one night when Charles kicks out a particularly annoying drunk. Kaeya nearly chokes on his drink laughing.)
-but still seems dedicated. And, most importantly, she despises overtime. In fact, it's what she most complains about. Unfortunately for Kaeya, he's found little to no evidence of malicious intent, which would generally mean his time has been wasted. But even stranger is the fact that he’s started to find himself enjoying his weekly chats with Rosaria. He would even tentatively consider her a friend.
…which is not weird. Kaeya has friends. Not many, but some. Kind of. His track record with trusting others and trusting them with his secrets is not pretty. Relationships are built on the foundation of trust between others, so it would be fair to say most of his are false.
And yet, Kaeya finds he wouldn’t mind being so-called friends with Rosaria. Clearly, she’s not out to harm Mondstat. And it is refreshing to be around someone who isn’t aware of (or rather, doesn’t care about) his past with Diluc and the Ragnvindrs. Part of him even finds Rosaria to be a kindred soul- she isn’t bound to Mondstat by blood either, but would protect it all the same.
Maybe this is why he finds himself put slightly at ease in her presence, even when he has sent off a fifth letter to Diluc that will probably still remain unanswered.
Rosaria slides into the seat on his left. “One Death After noon for me, and one for the Captain.”
Kaeya musters a smile. “To what do I owe the honor of this drink?”
Rosaria shrugs. “Heard that the Eroch guy is being removed from the Knights. I figured you might want to celebrate with a drink.”
“Indeed,” Kaeya laughs. She might know him a little too well. “I was planning to do just that.”
One drink turns into another, and another turns into too many. He doesn’t remember much else of the night besides being hauled back to his apartment and waking up with the worst hangover of his life.
Paranoia follows him the whole week after. The Knights are swamped, leaving him no time to check in with Rosaria to ask what the hell he said or did that night. He couldn’t risk that information getting out.
He couldn’t risk losing anyone else to the truth.
Finally, Kaeya shuffles into Angel’s Share at the end of the week, completely fried. Rosaria is already there. She turns to look at who came in, and offers a smirk in greeting.
“Rough week, huh?” She pats the seat next to her. “Well, don’t just stand there.”
They talk as normal, and Kaeya almost forgets why he’s been nervous this whole week. Almost, until closing time approaches and the two leave. They’re out in the streets, nobody around, almost to Kaeya’s apartment when Rosaria turns around to look at him.
“Hey,” she starts, face serious. “You were completely out of it when I said it last time, so I’ll say it again.”
“What?” Kaeya almost chokes. “If this is some sort of confession, Sister-”
“No, Kaeya.” She sighs. “I think… I’m sure your brother appreciates those letters you’ve been sending. That’s all.”
Kaeya blinks at her, hand frozen on his doorknob. He’s pretty sure his jaw has unhinged. Rosaria looks at him, maybe expecting him to say something, but gives up after a few moments.
“Goodnight,” she says, a tad awkwardly. She disappears into the night.
Kaeya takes a moment to collect himself. Well, he supposes, Rosaria isn’t the worst person in the world to trust secrets to.
It’s out of his hands now anyway.
IV.
The boy has spirit, Kaeya will give him that.
He finds him whacking away at a tree outside the gates of the city. A white haired boy, no older than 14. He thinks he may have spotted him hanging around the adventurer's guild before. If Kaeya really tries, he could probably remember his name. Benjamin? Bentley?
Well, in any case, a complaint was received about the noise made from whacking said trees, and apparently it’s Kaeya’s job to check on it.
“Hey, kid,” Kaeya says, scuffing his heels on the ground so as to not startle him. The kid swivels around immediately, looking like he just got caught stealing bread or something.
“Oh, hello, Sir Kaeya!” He squeaks. “...was I being too loud?”
Huh. Clearly, this is not a first time offense.
“Unfortunately yes, from what my sources tell me.” Kaeya gives him a wry smile. “Some city of freedom, huh?”
The kid sighs unhappily, but looks resigned. “I really don’t mean to, I promise, it’s just that… nothing ever really seems to go the way I want it to.” As if to annunciate the point, a flock of birds exits a tree above them and drops a branch on the kid’s head.
Now that Kaeya really looks, he notices the boy is covered in bruises, scratches, and bandages. Something about the boy’s predicament tickled the back of his memory- something about an unlucky child looked after by the adventurers guild, whose misfortune spreads to everyone around him whether he likes it or not…
“Bennett?” he says out loud as the name comes to him. The kid nods. “What are you doing out here in the first place?”
His mood seems to swing into a more cheerful direction immediately. “I’m training!” He declares, puffing out his little chest. “I need to learn how to fight so I can be a great adventurer, just like my dads.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah!” He gestures out towards the trees surrounding the gates. “They were the ones who told me to train out here.”
Less dangerous than the fields or the forests, he presumes, especially given Bennett’s talent for getting into trouble. Smart move.
“But… seems like it’s still bothering everyone even if I train out here.” Bennet frowns. “I guess I’ll find another way to train.”
The problem is solved, Kaeya supposes, but now he just feels bad for the kid. He looks like a kicked puppy. What an awful fate the stars have planned him. Kaeya can understand somewhat- he’s pretty sure he’s in a similar situation. Still, at least he can count on some amount of luck. Bennett doesn’t even have that.
…well, that decides it, then.
“Here’s an idea,” Kaeya introduces. “How about I show you some basics myself?”
The kid looks up at him, starry eyed. “Really? You’d do that?”
Kaeya shrugs nonchalantly. “Sure. It’s not like favonius bladework is top-secret.”
“You don’t have anything better to do?”
Probably. “Not really.”
“What if my luck affects you?”
“I guarantee I’ve dealt with worse before.”
Bennett mulls over it, then sucks in a deep breath. “Thank you, Sir Kaeya! I’ll try my absolute best!” Determination is written all over his face.
Kaeya lets out a genuine laugh. In this kid, he sees a phantom of a Diluc long lost to time. Innocent, naive- yet passionate with fire to back it up. Ah, but thinking about that will just damper his mood. So he settles into form, and points his sword towards the horizon.
“Alright, you’ll want to start with your feet spaced like so…”
Two hours later, Jean and Lisa find him being patched up by sisters in the church, other duties completely forgotten . Jean sighs, eternally tired. Bennett offers a sheepish smile.
“What in the world were you up to, Kaeya?” Lisa teases, no real malice in her tone.
“Just some community service,” Kaeya answers, offering a secret smile to Bennett beside him.
V.
“You know, apparently you can hear the ocean in seashells.”
Kaeya looks ahead to Diluc, who’s not looking at him while he talks. Instead, his eyes are glued to the sandy riverbank to their right, searching for a glimpse of this miraculous shell. Kaeya rearranges the calla lilies in his grasp and catches up, squinting with his uncovered eye.
“Can’t you only find seashells at the beach?” Kaeya questions. Sure, the river here may connect to the ocean, but somehow Kaeya doubts many shells would make it out here. How do shells even come to exist, anyway?
As if sensing his doubt, Diluc turns around and gives him an assured grin. “So? You never know! There’s a ton of water that flows here every day? We’ll never know if we don’t look!”
Well, that’s reason enough for Kaeya. He nods in agreement, offering a toothy grin of his own. “Last one to the bank is a rotten egg!”
And then they’re off, running like their lives depend on it. Kaeya’s never felt this free before, bare feet thumping in the dirt and sand while the night air cuts through his skin. The moon hangs over them, watching eagle-eyed as their combined laughter floats up to the very heavens.
They abandon their plants on the rocks near the water. To Kaeya’s dismay Diluc is the first one to make contact with the river. They’re both panting, but Diluc still has enough energy to smirk proudly.
“Ha-“ he gloats. “I win! The treasure is mine.”
“What treasure?”
“The shells, of course.”
“That’s not treasure.”
“Of course it is!”
“Well, it won’t be yours for very long.” Kaeya taps his eyepatch. “I’m a pirate, remember? I’ll just have to steal it from you.”
Diluc sticks out his tongue. “You don’t have to be a pirate just because your grandpa was, you know.”
“I know.”
He did not, in fact, know.
“But this,” he takes a step forward, water sloshing against his knees. “I absolutely want to do!” He scoops a hand of water at Diluc, who shrieks and throws some right back at him. All thoughts of shells and oceans and worlds beyond are lost to the river.
Kaeya’s in the middle of a flail when a twinkle catches his eye. “There!” He shrieks, pointing madly at it. “Shiny!”
Diluc snaps his head towards the glinting object, and dives to grab it. After a few seconds he emerges, hair plastered to his face along with a grin. Clasped in his hand is a pale comb-shaped shell. It glitters iridescently against the light of the moon.
“Aw, I thought it would be gold.”
“This is better!” Diluc declares. “We were just talking about finding one!”
He eagerly presses it against his ear, face pinched in concentration as he strains to listen. After a moment, he adjusts, and presses it harder. He does it again and again, to seemingly no avail.
“I can’t hear anything,” he says, disappointment flooding his features.
“Oh.” Suddenly, Kaeya is fascinated by the river slipping under him. “Can’t you just ask your father to take you to the beach?”
“Yeah, but…” Diluc sighs. “It’s not the same.”
He stays still, staring at the shell in his hand. Kaeya feels a little bad, but he doesn’t really understand why Diluc is so set on hearing the ocean. There really isn’t much to look forward to- Kaeya knows too well that what lies beyond the horizon isn’t worth much thought. Diluc would enjoy their home much better. So what’s the point?
Diluc turns to him, shell still in hand. Even in the dark his eyes shine bright red. Kaeya can’t help but keep silent as Diluc moves forward, water sloshing around his knees. He takes Kaeya’s fist, opens it, and places the shell on his palm.
“You don’t want to keep it?” Kaeya asks, confused. Diluc shrugs.
“You can have it. I don’t mind.” He wades back towards shore, but not before turning back and offering Kaeya a smile. “I can get more when we go together with Father.””
Kaeya blinks. We. Together.
The shell is warm in his palm. He traces the rough, iridescent surface with his thumb. He’ll cherish it forever, he thinks. The night is etched into his memory, like the creases in the shell.
A grin splits across his face. I think I’m finally where I’m supposed to be.
And so he runs back to shore, free as he’s ever been.
VI.
The world is violent around Kaeya. Thunder rumbles ominously in the distance. Rain falls from the sky in heavy, relentless sheets going all sorts of directions. The water stings his freshly singed arms, but Kaeya can’t find it in him to care. His uninjured eye is focused squarely on the statue slowly appearing in the distance. The ground under him squelches pitifully under his boots as he stalks towards it.
He finds the statue of the Anemo Archon glowing steadily, even in the midst of the storm. From his clenched hand he produces the Vision- his own Vision- and throws it at the bottom of the statue. He stares at it, numb.
Why, he almost says, but he shuts his mouth as soon as the thought crosses his mind. There’s no point in asking the gods for anything. They wouldn’t answer, and especially wouldn’t answer him. They didn’t even answer Crepus, who had worked tirelessly for Mondstat, who only ever wanted to protect what he held dear. He should’ve been the one to get a Vision today. Maybe he wouldn’t have died if he had one.
Kaeya still didn’t understand why it was him. In the end, he was destined to be a traitor. He wouldn’t even be standing here right now if he hadn’t gone and made things worse for himself. The only reason he’s alive right now is because of that Vision, and that has barely made things better for him. He’s noticed the missing wings- it’s incomplete. Surely the gods must think some part of him is unworthy, but then why would they still bestow their favor upon him?
He lets out a breath and watches it condense and float away. Part of him feels relieved, in a guilty sort of way. Crepus will never know of the turmoil eating away at Kaeya, never know the thoughts of betrayal he had kept inside for years and years. Now that he had told Diluc the truth he would never again have to stand in his shadow. This part of him is the one that Kaeya thinks the Vision was meant for, not the guilty brother standing in front of the statue now.
Yes, Kaeya thinks. There must have been some mistake here. Crepus should be the one with the vision, and I should be the one who-
A gust of wind broke through his thoughts. Another shuddering breath escapes him. No, that wasn’t right either. If Crepus had lived today, Kaeya doubts he would have told him or Diluc anything, leaving him to forever agonize on where his loyalties lie. How much longer could he have lived like that? Not very long, something tells him.
He looks back to his Vision on the ground, droplets of water falling off its glassy surface. He thinks of Khaenri’ah and its iridescent castles, of Mondstat and its knightley pillars. Even now, with Crepus’ passing fresh in his mind, he cannot bring himself to choose either one. Today, he chose honesty, and that nearly cost him everything.
And yet- he’s still here. Still breathing. Still thinking. Still feeling.
He focuses on the storm again. Thunder still crashes in the distance, rain still pelts his skin, and the clouds have not gone anywhere. But the wind moves gently now, surrounding him in a warm embrace. It is almost as if Barbatos himself has come personally to comfort Kaeya.
A laugh bubbles out of him. “What a funny thought.”
His face cracks and he smiles. And then he’s laughing and laughing, letting the wind swallow his cries until he can’t tell the difference between the rain and the tears.
VII.
It is a considerably normal day in Mondstat, a relatively nice one as well. It’s nice enough that Kaeya deems it a good idea to take a stroll during his lunch break. He’s a few steps away from Good Hunter when he sees a little crimson hat barrelling around a corner.
“Kaeya!” The little ball focuses into a little girl brimming with energy as she all but materializes in front of him. “I have something reaaaaally important to tell you!”
“Well, hello Klee,” Kaeya chirps, abandoning the plans for his break. There was really no point in trying to control anything when Klee was around. He crouches down to her eye level. “What’s going on?”
Klee squirms in excitement. There’s a huge grin plastered on her face, even bigger than the ones she gets when she goes fish blasting with her parents. Kaeya can only wonder what in Teyvat could make her this jumpy.
“I’m getting a brother!” Klee exclaims. She does a little spin for emphasis.
“Oh, wow!” Kaeya responds. Klee takes that as an invitation to start telling him everything she knows about him (which doesn’t quite make sense, isn’t he an unborn child?) And while Kaeya is trying to pay attention, he’s also very hungry and Good Hunter is literally paces away from him. He’s almost relieved when she spots someone she hasn’t told yet and speeds off without a goodbye.
Kaeya takes his time coming back to the office after getting lunch. Truth be told, he is excited for Klee. There’s no reason he’d begrudge Klee’s sibling because of his own relationship with his brother. He wonders what Klee will be like as a big sister. Overprotective? Overly cool? Maybe she and her brother will be completely alike, or maybe he’ll be the one looking after her.
Kaeya finds himself smiling. There are more and more things to be looking forward to these days.
He reaches Favonius HQ and is about to climb up to his office when he sees Alice exit Jean’s office. She spots him, and gives a friendly little wave.
Alice, to Kaeya, is a little frightening. Not in a traditional sense, of course. He has great respect for her and her powers, and she’s never given him a reason to fear her. But there’s something about her gaze that sets off warning bells- like she’s peering into his mind, gazing deep in his soul. He supposes you’d never know it from the way she talks, but Kaeya gets the feeling she knows much, much more about everyone than she lets on.
Still, Kaeya clambers down the stairs to say a proper hello. “Congratulations on the pregnancy,” he offers, with a heavy dose of charm. Alice blinks at him, seemingly confused. Realization lights up in her eyes, and a grin splits her face as she doubles over in laughter.
What in Teyvat? “What’s so funny?”
She takes a second to breathe before shaking her head. “Silly boy. I’m not pregnant.”
“I assure you, Miss Alice, that by now I know how children are made.”
“Yes, yes, but-” her words dissolve into giggles. “Oh, my darling Klee is such a precious girl, isn’t she?”
Kaeya coughs. Ugh, now his face is getting warm. “Yes, but how does that relate to this…?”
“Clearly, you must have been distracted enough that you missed what she was saying. One of my old friends has a child. She’s going away for a while on some investigation. And you know, Klee has always wanted a sibling, so I decided to take him in!”
Well, that’s embarrassing. She’s going to remember this forever. Still, Kaeya does have an image to maintain, so he tries to shake off his surprise as best he can. “And here I thought Klee was going to be a big sister.”
Alice laughs. “While that is an entertaining thought, I’m not sure Teyvat could handle two of my children.”
Hm. Ominous.
“Besides, it’ll be much more helpful to have someone else that can look after her. Oh! And he’s quite talented with alchemy, you see. He’s actually interviewing for a position within the Knights with the Acting Grand Master as we speak.”
As if on cue, the door to Jean’s office swings open. Jean herself is the one behind it. She smiles politely at him and Alice, and then tilts her head in the direction of her desk.
“Captain Kaeya, Miss Alice,” she starts. “I’d like to introduce you two to our new Chief Alchemist and Investigations Captain.”
Beside him, Alice squeals. On the other hand, Kaeya nearly chokes. Captain? Already? He must really be special.
Klee’s new brother trots out of the office, blue eyes sweeping over the two of them. He looks quite young for a captain- then again, Diluc was only 14 when he became Cavalry Captain, and this new person doesn’t look quite as young as that. Kaeya would describe him as pretty, with pale, porcelain looking skin and doll-like features. Like a figurine that came to life. Fitting for an alchemist, perhaps.
Then his eyes rest on the birthmark on his neck, and everything in Kaeya just freezes.
That star. That damned star. He’d know it anywhere. He sees it every time his reflection appears, glimmering in his eye.
Kaeya takes a discreet, slow breath. It won’t do him good to immediately accuse this person of treason, even if they unmistakably bear the mark of his homeland. Even if they’re immediately being welcomed into a high-ranking position.
He recovers and manages to offer a hollow smile. “Welcome! I don’t believe I caught your name.”
“Albedo,” he responds, giving a curt nod. “You must be the cavalry captain. Master Jean spoke highly of you.”
“Did she now?” Kaeya hums. “I didn’t know she admired me so."
“Oh, don’t be silly,” Jean sighed, but it wasn’t serious.
Alice giggled. “Well, I won’t bother you two any further. Albedo, let’s go get your sister!” She gracefully turned and began walking to the door, whistling a merry tune. Albedo shook his head but went to follow her anyway. The door shut loudly as they left, echoing through the hall.
As soon as they were gone, Kaeya let out a low whistle. “He’s sure going to have a lot on his hands. Captain rank and Klee’s new brother? I’m not sure I’d want to be him.”
Jean pursed her lips together, seemingly in thought. “Do you think I made the right decision in admitting him?” She was looking straight at him now, eyes vulnerable. It was moments like these when Kaeya remembered she did truly trust him. The weight of her gaze is starting to make his skin crawl.
“You tell me,” he deflects. Then, quietly: “I trust you.”
Jean looks at the Knight’s shield on the wall. She closes her eyes, and takes an exhausted breath. “Thank you. I suppose time will tell.”
Kaeya looks at the floor, at the reflection of his eye staring back at him. “I suppose it will.”
VIII.
Kaeya finds the library abnormally quiet today. He’s not quite sure what possessed him to wander in here today- he’s had a little too much alone time lately to desire more. His heels click satisfyingly as he peruses the shelves, running his fingers along spines of the book. Yet, as he always does when he finds himself alone in here, he feels himself pulled into a certain section. He rounds a corner-
-and finds the Traveler standing there, book in hand.
She doesn’t seem to notice him. In fact, she doesn’t seem to notice anything. Her gaze is solely focused on the words on the page- or somewhere far, far away. After a quick glance, he guesses her flying companion isn’t with her. He stands there for a moment and tries to gauge whether or not to approach.
Finally, when she hasn’t moved an inch in an alarming amount of time, he speaks up. “You’ve been on that same page for a while.”
“I know.”
She hasn’t even looked at him, but Kaeya can hear the strain in her voice. Her fingernail traces circles on the page, and Kaeya braces for the inevitable.
“Kaeya, what do you know about Khaenri’ah?”
Of course, he thinks. There’s no way she wouldn’t have figured it out at some point with the way she scours through Teyvat, uncovering every secret she can find. She is an unstoppable force, a shooting star shedding light to every dark corner. Unfortunately, his secrets lay in those dark corners.
He tries to swallow the bitterness when he responds. “Khaenri'ah, huh? You sure know a lot! The legacy of Khaenri'ah is long gone, the sinners are all that's left, and they're not worth mentioning.”
“Not worth it…” She murmurs, gripping the book tight in her hands. Her knuckles have long gone white.
They both know the mistruth of what he said. It’s objectively wrong, of course: the Abyss and their plots are a major threat that are absolutely worth mentioning. He doubts the Traveler hasn’t discovered their origins, and by extension his own. He falls silent- there’s no point in arguing otherwise. He knows better than anyone else what is written in the books on that shelf.
“What would you do if Diluc left, and you had no idea why he did or where he went?”
Oh. So that’s what this was about.
The Traveler finally turns to him, and his heart pangs uncomfortably in his chest. She looks exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Her eyes are red-rimmed and puffy, hands trembling as they hold the book detailing his ancestor’s sins. The Traveler, so determined to find her brother, does not look so strong at this moment.
Kaeya thinks back to when Diluc left, after the truth was so coldly revealed. There were moments when he thought he had truly lost everything. Yet, the people of Mondstat had reminded him time and again he was cared for- trusted, even.
“He did leave,” he confides. “But it wasn’t forever.”
More importantly, he didn’t hate Kaeya. Sure, their relationship was tense at best, and he couldn’t resist the bitterness left over from that night but… he did come back. There was an effort from both of them. Maybe one day, they could be as close as-
“What if he told you he didn’t want to come back?”
Kaeya’s train of thought crashes abruptly. A flood of sympathy arises in him from a part of him wounded long ago- all those fears that had never come true, all those nights fearing the worst. Kaeya never liked the way pity felt, but he couldn’t help it creeping in. The Traveler was truly stronger than most knew if she was still standing here, somewhat intact.
Almost as if possessed by that wounded self, he steps forward and gently lays a hand on the Traveler’s shoulder. “I don’t know what I’d do. It was hard enough even when I knew why he was gone,” he says, inadvertently more honest than he should let himself be.
“But I do know this-” he looks the Traveler straight in her unnaturally gold eyes- “Mondstat will always welcome you home.” He doesn’t know why it comes out so easily. He’s spent years unsure if that was the truth, but it feels so natural to say. Mondstat is home now to him- and it can be home for the Traveler too. He can fight it all he wants- but this is the truth.
The Traveler blinks, eyes shining with new tears. She looks away, but reaches up and squeezes the hand on her shoulder. “Thank you,” she rasps.
“Anytime.”
The Traveler shuffles out of the library, muttering something about Paimon and someone named Xiangling. Kaeya sees himself out not far behind her, but instead finds himself climbing the many flights of stairs up to the Favonius headquarters roof.
He meanders to a chimney, pushing in a brick to reveal his stash of trinkets he’d rather nobody else find. He pushes past the fragile pieces of paper and opened letters to find a pair of iridescent, clam-shaped shells. Kaeya pulls them out, thumb gently rubbing over the ridges. They shine in the light of the setting sun, just like the day they were found.
In the back of his mind, a long lost memory unlocks. An imposing man, shining like a sword in twilight. Beside him, a golden haired traveler- capable of anything and everything. Kaeya never sees his face.
A golden traveler. Khaenri’ah. The Traveler. Another thought for another day, perhaps.
The city glows warm in his vision, sun dipping below the horizon. Perhaps if he tries hard enough, he can imagine the view of Khaenri’ah in the distance. He’s certainly tried. Today, he doesn’t feel the need to. It’s caused enough harm in the meantime.
His thoughts drift to Diluc and his duty to protect, to Barbara and Jean, to Bennet and his many fathers, to Rosaria and her devotion to the city she chose, the Traveler and her lonely journey to find the truth.
Kaeya anchors himself to the sight of the sky, and finally allows himself to breathe.