Chapter Text
Hundreds of miles away from Night City. Surrounded by nothing but the open road and cliffs of rock. Sand kicked up by spinning wheels, and rocks pinging off of the windshield.
Hundreds of miles away from Night City, yet there were nights when Judy would lie in bed, staring up at the top of their tent, and swore she could hear the noise of the city.
The screech of car brakes, the static of voices as they walked outside her apartment window, the pop of a gunshot before hitting something metal.
Hundreds of miles away, and a metaphorical hundred more from V.
Following V into the great unknown with nothing more than a backpack filled with things that she couldn’t bear to part with. An assurance that their life would begin anew, and that Judy would make just as good a nomad as V had always been.
But then Mikoshi happened.
The vibrance in V’s eyes grew dull. She grew irate. Judy would wake up night after night to an empty tent, wondering where she had gone, and left wondering well into the daytime. She was avoiding Judy, and she was avoiding Panam, and she was avoiding the clan to the point that Judy wondered if this had really been what V wanted all along.
Confused, and devastated, Judy threw herself into any work that could be tossed her way. A generator that needed fixing, the showers that needed to be cleaned, lunch that needed to be prepped. Day after day, week after week, as she tried not to dwell on the thoughts that V was unhappy here.
Unhappy with her.
And Judy couldn’t tell if she, herself, was happy.
She had had this grand idea in her head of a new life with V. Her arms wrapped around V’s waist as they rode a motorcycle through the places that V had grown up. Stolen kisses by campfires, and whispered nothings under the stars. A tour of the world that Judy could truly only hope to imagine up until leaving Night City.
But instead she had blisters on her hands, and a sunburn on her nose. An empty tent that she could hardly stand to be in most of the time. A car that she drove alone in with only the melody of the cutting out radio keeping her company.
Mitch, one of the veterans that had fought in the past war, had gifted Judy his Thorton Colby only because Panam’s Thorton Mackinaw needed driving when they were on the road. Startled by his gift, simply because Judy knew that that nomad vehicles were an extension of themselves, Judy had half the mind to reject it. Up until that point she had been tagging along in Carol’s van, staring out the passenger side window with her chin in her palm as she listened to the nomads chat with each other over comms.
But, Mitch had insisted. Stating that anybody who was a friend of V’s was a friend of his. His only request: not to flip the damn thing. A request that Judy had come close to breaking a couple times as she trailed behind the other vehicles.
It was isolating in a way that Judy had never experienced. A family that she was supposedly apart of, but hardly knew the half of them. An outsider looking in, and she wasn’t sure how to break in further. She was always sure that V would be her buffer between her Night City ways, and the ways of the nomad, but the times that she had spent with V could have been counted on one hand.
She was upset only because it was nothing that she had expected.
Still, Panam made an effort to talk to her, to include her in things that were happening around the camp. Judy was sure that it was more out of pity, simply for the looks she would cast her way when she thought Judy wasn’t looking, but there was a small bit of comfort there. Judy had never been great at making friends, inserting herself in other people’s lives, but she was trying.
They had just pulled up to where they were to camp for the next week or so, Judy parking the Colby amongst the rest of the vehicles before hopping out of it. Her clothes from Night City hadn’t served her well, they were either too hot or too cold for the badland temperatures, so she had often found herself rummaging through V’s things to find something to wear. A pair of skinny jeans that clung to her legs like a second skin, and a grey bodysuit that looked much like Panam’s were what she had decided for the three day trip they had just endured.
Her knees cracked as she landed on solid ground, shoulders rolling to dissipate the tension there. The three days had been uneventful, and Judy had spent most of the time lost in her own thoughts.
V hadn’t even talked to her in that time.
The other Aldecaldos already bustling around busying themselves to set up camp; a process that Judy was already familiar enough with that she could pick up any sort of equipment and hop in. Her boots kicked up dirt, and sand, but the movement kept her thoughts static. Enough to let her forget about the whys, and the hows, and the unhappiness she felt deep down in her bones. By the time the sun had started to set, and the camp was more or less done, Judy stood outside their tent chewing on her lip; dread sitting heavy in her stomach.
In the times that she did see V, she was never happy. Always a cloud overtop of her head with which she refused to meet Judy’s eye. Always an assurance that she was fine, that everything was fine, before leaving Judy in the all too suffocating space.
Obviously, everything wasn’t fine, but Judy was at a loss.
Mikoshi had happened, and she had made it back from Arasaka Tower, yet that was all she knew. V refused to even utter the words of that night, her frustration clear on her face that Judy would even have the audacity to ask.
Sometimes she found herself hoping not to see V. A thought that always startled her so greatly, and stung tears in the corners of her eyes. It was only a month ago that they could hardly leave each other’s side.
Now…
“She’s not there.” Panam’s voice said beside her, “Took her motorcycle for a ride.” Judy’s head slowly spun to look at Panam, hoping that her face didn’t show the relief that she felt. She shouldn’t feel relieved to not see her output.
“Oh, okay.” Judy nodded, noticing the slight dip of her lips; something as close to a frown as Panam could muster. They stared at each other for a moment before Judy sighed. “Say what you need to, Panam.” In the short time that she had come to know Panam, it had been easy to pick up on her quirks; one of them being that she hardly beat around the bush when something needed to be said.
“Has she talked to you?” Panam crossed her arms over her chest, “She was-” she cut herself short, looking at Judy expectantly with an eyebrow raised.
“V?” Panam nodded, “No, we haven’t-” Judy cast her gaze down to her feet, kicking at a small pebble underneath her toes, “We haven’t talked in a while.”
“She thinks as if avoiding her problems will get rid of them.” Panam sighed heavily, “You two need to sit down, and have a discussion.”
A lump formed in Judy’s throat, the reality of the situation settling heavy in her chest. V wasn’t happy. She was unhappy with her. This wasn’t the life that she wanted, and now things needed to come to their inevitable end.
Fuck, what was Judy going to do now?
Hundreds of miles from the only place she had ever called home. Amongst virtual strangers, with her only metaphorical lifeboat about to be tugged out from underneath her. This was not the life that she had expected for herself when she left Night City.
“She went south.” Panam continued, her holo suddenly in her hands with her fingers tapping away, “Sending you her coords.”
“What? You mean find her right now?” Judy brought her lower lip between her teeth, gnawing at it anxiously. She had been so positive back in Night City that her and V were soulmates. Destined to be together through every juncture of the rest of their lives. The last thing that she had expected was a breakup, though perhaps with all the signs of the past few weeks she should have prepared herself for the outcome.
It didn’t make it any easier when she climbed back into the Colby, and set off to find the output she wasn’t even sure was hers anymore. The radio crackled with static, some melodies managing to cut through for precious seconds before fading out once again. As the minutes ticked by, Judy flipped the radio off, unable to stand the anticipation of what might come through next. Her fingers drummed anxiously on the steering wheel, her left foot bouncing against the rubber mats of the floor.
Her last breakup, with Maiko, had been more than messy. They had screamed at each other for close to an hour until Maiko stormed out of her apartment with her feet stomping all the way down the steps. In the days that followed Maiko could hardly help herself from sending her text messages attacking her, and their relationship, dropping lines like ‘you’ll never have it as good as me’ to her. Their breakup had fucked with Judy for a long time after the fact, and yet she still felt devastated when it happened.
She could only imagine how it was going to tear her asunder to have someone she loved, truly loved, break her heart. Judy wasn’t sure she would ever find it in herself to love again.
Finally, she saw V’s Apollo motorcycle near an outcrop of rocks. It was the same motorcycle that she had taken to Arasaka Tower that night, and nobody had been willing to claim it back. It was a vibrant red, and had the Aldecaldo’s skeleton horse painted along the side of it. Judy always liked the way that V looked on it, though she could never quite place why.
She pulled up the Colby behind the bike, cutting the engine before peering out the windshield. She could faintly see the top of V’s ponytail on the rocks, though her black hair was ever blending into the darkening sky. With a deep breath through her nose, she pushed open the car door, shutting it as quietly as possible behind her.
A part of her wished that V would just tell her to fuck off then and there, just to save them both the heartache of the conversation that was about to come.
She stared up at where V was sitting, chewing on her lip again before beginning the ascent to the top. The climb was easy, and quick, and at the top offered a panoramic view to the badlands they were in. Not unlike the ones in the outskirts of Night City, Judy almost felt comforted by their familiarity.
“Jude?” V’s voice cut through the evening static, a question in her tone, “Didn’t expect you out here.”
Judy found it in herself to catch her gaze, immediately noticing the dark bags around her eyes. The nights that she had awoken to an empty tent must have meant that V wasn’t sleeping at all.
V shifted underneath her gaze, quickly tearing her eyes away and back towards the horizon that she had been staring at before. Judy’s stomach sank.
She couldn’t even stand to look at her.
“Panam said we needed to talk.” Her voice came out more timid than she thought it would, a slight hitch in her words. She stood at her spot on the outcrop, unsure if V would want her by her side when she finally uttered those words.
“Panam needs to mind her own fucking business.” V spat, and Judy saw the way her shoulders tensed. Her hands pressed into the rock below where she was sitting, so hard that Judy worried she might break the skin of her knuckles on it. Her body trembled, before she let out a hard, and shaky breath.
“Fuck, this isn’t how I wanted to do this.” She mumbled, smacking her fist against the rock hard enough that Judy heard the splitting of skin. She desperately wanted to rush over to her, cradle her hand in her own, and tell her that it was all going to be alright, because things always had to end up alright with them.
They were alright after V had told her that she was dying. They were alright after their trip to Laguna Bend. They were alright after the Wraiths. They were alright after Arasaka Tower.
But now, as Judy stood on the outcrop of rocks, her arms wrapped around her chest as a shield, she didn’t know if she could tell V if things were going to be alright.
She hardly knew if she was going to be alright once V told her that they were done.
“Just-just do it, V.” Judy's voice trembled, her lower lip quivering slightly, “Just say you wanna breakup.”
V’s reaction was immediate, her eyes snapping back towards Judy. Shock on her face, her eyes wide as she pushed herself up onto her feet to rush over to her. She tenderly cradled Judy’s face in her hands, the most that she had touched her in weeks. Tears pricked at the edges of her eyes, threatening to escape with words that were left unsaid between the both of them.
“Is that what you think?” V whispered to her, “That I-” she shook her head, slipping her hands from her cheeks to wrap around her shoulders; drawing her into a tight embrace. Unsure arms wrapped around V’s waist, the onslaught of tears that had been threatening her this entire time finally making their escape. Her face pressed into the crook of V’s neck, her body wracked with sobs as she held her. V squeezed her tightly, almost tight enough to steal her breath away if she wasn’t already gasping for air.
“You-you don’t-?” Judy choked out, pulling herself from V’s grasp to wipe her eyes along the sleeve of her bodysuit. A part of her slightly relieved that that wasn’t the reason for them needing to talk, but the other part dreading what it could possibly be instead.
“No, god no, Jude.” V sniffed, dabbing at her own eyes with the sleeve of her jacket, “I’ve been so shitty to you lately. I just-I didn’t know-” She looked down to her hands, fingers wringing together with whatever words were about to come next.
“Come sit with me.” V finally said, taking a couple steps back to the ridge she had perched herself upon. With her legs hanging off, and her feet swinging idly, Judy could have sworn that she looked a little bit more lean; a little bit more sickly than she had before.
Judy sat close enough to her side that their thighs rested together, one of V’s arms draping itself across her shoulders to draw her in once again.
And all at once things were back to the way they were.
The uncertainty, and doubt, and fears of the past few weeks dashed away with the brush of her fingers along her bare shoulder. Their silence familiar, but growing uncomfortable as Judy realised that V still needed to tell her what was on her mind.
“Mikoshi.” V started eventually, her voice low and strained as she struggled to get the words out, “I got there, and got Johnny out. He-he fucked off with Alt beyond the Blackwall, whatever that means.” A shaky exhale, “Fuck, I-I didn’t think this would be so hard. Not with you.”
“Take your time, V.” Judy rested a palm on her thigh, running her finger along one of the patches there. V just gave her a squeeze in response, collecting herself for another minute before beginning again.
“I’m still dying.” Her voice cracked, followed by a quiet sob as she turned her head away from Judy, “He’s fucking gone, but my body still thinks it’s his. Own body is killin’ me.”
Judy stared in shock at her, her mouth suddenly running dry, and her breath hitching in her throat. No, no, no, Mikoshi was supposed to save her. It was supposed to be the end of the Relic, and Johnny, and her life was supposed to be hers again. They were supposed to have a life together, a life where they could forget about Johnny fucking Silverhand, and the Heist, and the Relic, and Arasaka, and-and-and…
No, no, V wasn’t dying. That wasn’t the plan.
“No.” Judy shook her head, sniffling as her grip tightened around her thigh, “No, no. You’re not.”
“Jude…” V’s voice broke again, “I’m dyin’ and-”
“No!” Judy snapped, loud enough that she saw V flinch in her peripheral. She ground her teeth together, blinking to try and keep the second onslaught of tears from coming. V couldn’t be dying. Not when she had worked so hard, and gone through so much fucking bullshit to get where she was. There had to be something else.
Anything.
“No.” Judy repeated, softer this time, “Figure somethin’ out. Gotta be someone-”
“Jude,” V sighed, “I-I’m tired of looking for a cure when I know I can’t find one.”
An admittance that crashed over Judy all at once. Her nails dug into the palms of her hands, her teeth biting the tip of her tongue from lashing out once more.
V was giving up.
V was accepting her death sentence.
“How can you say that?” Judy whispered, “Just gonna-just gonna leave the Aldecaldos high and dry? Just gonna leave me?!” Her voice rose with every word she spoke until she was yelling by the end of it, her tone verging on hysteric, “Just gonna roll over and die? Not
my
fucking output! No, she would
never
say shit like that.”
Her vision was blurry with tears, but she still pushed herself to stand. She couldn’t bear to look down at V. To see the hurt look in her eyes, and the constant dullness that seemed to sit there now. So instead she turned on her heel, hopping down the rocks until she reached the Colby again.
She slammed the door shut so hard that the entire car shook around her. Her knuckles turned white as she tightly gripped the steering wheel as V’s words repeated themselves over and over and over in her head.
No, she was not going to let V die.