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Ed had still not spoken to him, and Izzy was beginning to accept that maybe he had ruined whatever lingering connection that they had still kept. Just like every time before, when he was close to giving up and walking away, he expected Ed to pull him back in. This time however, he seemed to be restraining himself from that, holding himself back from the sweet words Izzy had convinced himself were lies. He was starting to fear he was right.
Lucius caught him staring at Edward on the quarterdeck. It had been two weeks, his stitches had come out yesterday, and the budding affection for the scribe had started blossoming into a full blown problem now. Unlike Ed, however, Lucius didn't seem to want back out from the defenses he found himself behind. In fact, he leaned into Izzy, shooting him fond looks when Izzy got a little too shout-y, bringing him coffee in the mornings with a soft kiss to Izzy's cheek and a cheerful 'good morning'. Izzy tried to let himself feel cared for, but he couldn't shake the ice forming in his chest with every day Ed ignored him.
"He still not talking to you, love?" Lucius was leaning against the railing next to Izzy.
That was another thing Izzy was still getting used to: the pet names Lucius insisted on calling him. It made his heart flutter every time.
"Yeah," Izzy hated how glum he sounded, but it was the truth, "Still ignoring me." He turned away from where Ed was talking with Stede in front of the door to the captains' cabin. Izzy faced Lucius with a sad smile, "Don't worry about it, mo stor." (my dear) Izzy figured that Irish endearments would suffice in place of the English ones his mind refused to let spill.
Izzy's native language was Irish. It had taken years to eradicate his accent enough to not give that away, though, so he didn't blame people for not knowing. That was kind of the point after all. He slipped back into Gaeilge easily, even though he hadn't done much but think in that language for years.
Izzy whispered into the evening air, "Bionn an iomarca imni ort."(you worry too much) Lucius was wearing a confused expression and Izzy realized he was still speaking in his mother tongue.
Smirking he continued, "Ta bron orm, mo gra. Cuma alainn ort nuair a bhionn mearbhall ort afach, mo stor." (Sorry, my love. You look lovely when you are confused though, my dear.)
"I can't help but think you're teasing me even if I have no idea what you just said," Lucius remarked with a shy smile.
"I was," Izzy chuckled slightly back at him. The pout on Lucius' face was downright adorable, and Izzy wanted to kiss it off his lips. He hastily scouted the deck to make sure they were alone before he did just that.
Kissing Lucius was like hearing a song Izzy used to love, but hadn't thought about in years. The joy in the surprised hum against Izzy's mouth was a better high than any opium pipe could ever give him.
He pulled away, his hands lingering in the younger man's hair, and he watched as Lucius' gorgeous eyes fluttered open to meet his.
"Ta tu go halainn," (you are beautiful) Izzy whispered. He couldn't say those words in a language Lucius could understand. Not yet. He wasn't ready for that yet.
Bonnet was acting strange. Well, more strange than his usual strangeness, that is. He was finding excuses to speak with Izzy outside of Ed. At first, Izzy had thought it was because otherwise, Stede wouldn't have been able to speak to Izzy at all, seeing as Ed was still resolutely ignoring Izzy's existence. Izzy had tried to 'get along' with Stede, as well as he knew how, since he had returned from Barbados, and effectively pulled Ed from beneath the Kraken in a way Izzy had never been able to.
Now, though, Bonnet was waltzing up to Izzy while he was sipping his coffee against the railing. The sun was still below the horizon, the pink and deep purples only just lighting up the dawn. Izzy was used to the mornings aboard the Revenge being quiet, a time were he could actually think and get work done before the idiots woke up. He internally scolded himself for thinking that insult fondly.
Bonnet had his fancy fucking robe on, the golden silk practically glowing in the morning sun. His ridiculously fancy tea cup was sending steam wafting through the chilled air, making Izzy want to throw it into the dark sea below. He sipped his coffee instead. It wouldn't do any good to upset the ponce. Izzy braced himself for Stede Bonnet's stupid voice, but was left waiting when he was met with silence.
Izzy looked at him cautiously before speaking, "Did you need something, Bonnet?"
Stede looked at him smiling that stupid fucking grin he wore, "No Izzy! I was just enjoying the rather lovely morning."
Izzy didn't believe that for a second, but he wasn't going to play games with this poncey twat, so he kept silent before emptying the last dregs of his mug. He turned to leave, but froze when he felt a hand stop him from getting too far. Izzy grit his teeth, he didn't like people touching him, just as a general rule. It made him feel like his skin sat wrong on his bones at the best of times, but Stede fucking Bonnet was another layer of discomfort on top of that.
Izzy jerked out of his grasp violently, but refrained from physically harming the man, "What, and I can't stress this enough, the fuck do you want from me, Bonnet?"
Stede's hand was still stuck out halfway between them, and he looked like he was processing a difficult problem, that or he was constipated. Izzy raised an eyebrow before turning and walking away, actually managing to flee this time.
It happened at least four more times before Izzy snapped. Bonnet had taken every opportunity to land a gentle hand on him: his forearm, shoulders, back, hands- Izzy was crawling out of his skin by the end of the week. He had begun flinching at even Lucius' hand, which made the boy upset, in turn making Izzy guilty. He didn't know how to explain to Lucius that when people touched him (even when he wanted them to), sometimes, he wished he could throw himself into the sea. He didn't know how to say that, Bonnet continuing to try and initiate contact, was making the prospect more and more appealing.
When the end of the week approached, someone other than Lucius noticed. Izzy was taking inventory of their latest raid when he felt the hand on his shoulder. He had been distracted enough to not have heard anyone enter the storage room, and as such, was so taken off guard, he literally jumped. His dagger was at the intruder's throat before his brain had understood what had happened.
"Whoa, mate, calm down, it's just me," Edward's voice cut through the panic that had his heart pounding in his ears.
"Sorry, Captain," Izzy said as he lowered his knife.
"You okay there? Haven't had that reaction in years," Ed used that voice that sounded mocking, but only to hide the genuine concern just below the surface. Izzy knew his captain though, or at least he used to, and was able to read the emotions easily. Izzy felt his instinctual defenses calming down a bit.
"Your ponce of a boyfriend kept touching my shoulders and shit all week, I guess I'm just on edge," Izzy explained with a shrug. Ed's concern didn't fade, and the usual anger at Izzy's name calling was absent, "Everything okay, Edward?"
"Yeah, mate. I'm fine, just confused is all. Stede doesn't usually go for the touching stuff, especially if that person really doesn't like that shit," He was looking a little lost, and Izzy hated seeing it.
"Don't worry, Ed. I didn't exactly tell him it bothered me. Mainly focused on not throwing him overboard," Izzy chuckled at the last part.
Ed looked like he was going to clap him on the shoulder, but thought better of it, for which Izzy was grateful. Izzy moved to pick up the log book that he had dropped in favor of his dagger earlier when Ed spoke next.
His voice was soft and unsure, so unlike the Blackbeard Izzy was used to, but then again, that was nothing new around this ship, "Wanted to apologize, Iz. For everything really, but mostly for ignoring you. You're my best friend and I need you here."
There it was, that lie that Izzy had come to hate that he loved. It sat hollow in his chest this time, instead of the brief warmth it used to give. Izzy didn't turn or answer just went to the next crate and began to write down the contents.
"Iz? Say something, mate," Edward pleaded. There was something in his tone that broke Izzy. Something that made the words spill, unbidden, from his lungs.
"Edward, I don't need you to lie to me to keep me here," Izzy started lowly, "In fact, I've tried to leave before, and it never works, but you trying to keep me here with false words is too much. We both know you may need a first mate, but you don't need me, and I would appreciate it if you didn't pretend you did."
Izzy hadn't looked up or stopped the scratch of his quill while he was talking, but heard the heavy foot falls step closer to him.
"Izzy, it's not a lie. You have to know that," Ed was speaking so quietly. Izzy wanted to believe him, he really did, but it just wasn't true. Ed had made that clear time and time again.
Izzy let out a sigh and finally looked up to Ed, "What I know is that if you did need me, you wouldn't continuously ignore me, throw me aside at the first drop of a hat, the first sign of some shiny new object to catch your attention, Edward. I have been by your side for years, and I don't plan on leaving anytime soon, but I know that I am replaceable to you. All I'm asking is that you stop trying to get me to believe otherwise."
With that he shoved the log book into his captain's hands and stalked out of the room. Edward could find someone else to take inventory. Managing his whims may have been something Izzy was used to, but it had never been in his job description. He had Bonnet for that now anyway.
Izzy was just closing his cabin door, when he saw Lucius hurrying down the hallway to the storage room, logbook in hand. As the only other literate crew member, Ed had probably asked him to finish Izzy's job. Izzy made a note to apologize to Lucius later, but for now he needed a nap.
Izzy woke to the sound of raised voices outside his cabin, one posh lilt of Bonnet, the other the gruff scratch of Blackbeard. Izzy swore to himself as he jumped up. He was expecting an enemy boarding them or an approaching vessel. Izzy was not expecting the two captains to be having a shouting match right outside his door.
"Edward! Talk to him or I will!" Bonnet's voice was sharp and commanding in a way Izzy hadn't really heard before. Izzy's hand froze on its way the the handle.
"For the last time, Stede, I don't know how!" Edwards voice wasn't angry, just a sort of panicked edge that had him talking louder than normal.
Izzy was not in the mood for this shit and without even opening the door he raised his own voice to shout at them, "Will you two kindly fuck off?"
The shouting stopped suddenly, and Izzy was ready to hear them continuing down the hall, but there was a soft knock at his door.
"Iz," The voice was as gentle as it had been in the storage room, and Izzy tried not to roll his eyes as Ed started again, "Can we talk, mate?"
Instead of answering verbally, Izzy pulled the door open. Under other circumstances, the scene would have brought him unbridled joy. The sight of a flustered Bonnet, red-faced with anger, obviously worked up, before the whole Kraken phase would have been a welcome vision. Now, though, Izzy was struck with a dread pulsing through him all the way down to the stump of his lost toe.
If they were fighting, some unreasonable part of himself spoke, I might loose the other nine.
Fuck, a year ago he never could have imagined a day where he was worried for the state of their relationship, but here he was.
"What's wrong, Captain," Izzy asked with a great amount of trepidation in his voice. He wasn't sure he could survive the Kraken's return, and, the fear that ran through him turned his blood cold, Lucius definitely wouldn't survive that. He barely survived the first time.
"Nobody is in danger, Iz, just wanna talk," Ed assured him. It would have been more reassuring if Izzy believed him, but he would have to take what he could get at the moment, so Izzy simply nodded for Ed to continue.
"Wanted to talk about earlier," Ed started. Oh, this is worse, Izzy decided. He schooled his expression; he had already pushed his luck with the insubordination today, but damn if he didn't want to slam the door closed.
Instead, he stated with as little emotion he could manage, "Nothing to talk about, Captain."
Edward's growl of frustration as he put a hand on the door to prevent it from closing made Izzy flinch despite his best efforts. The look in Ed's eyes devolved into sad concern, and he let his hand slip down the wood a little, keeping his hand inches from the handle.
"Izzy, please," Ed's voice had never sounded so desperate before. Maybe that was what made Izzy's resolve break. Maybe it was the frantic searching in Ed's eyes that made him step aside to let them both into his room. Maybe it was the lurching in his chest that made him want to wipe the grateful look off Ed's face.
Izzy made a motion for Edward to state his piece, the sooner he could get this over with, the sooner Izzy could go back to his solitude.
"Iz, please, just listen to me," Ed started, "You have to know that I don't think you're replaceable." Izzy made to protest, but Ed's leather-clad hand came up to clasp over his mouth for a brief second. The fear that Izzy had tried to conceal made his arm drop quickly back to his side.
"Fuck, Iz," Edward sounded so small. Izzy knew he was a tactile person, and normally, Ed's touch didn't bother Izzy too much, but this conversation combined with the stress of the past weeks made Izzy jumpy. That and the last time Edward's hand had covered his mouth like that, he had been force feeding him his own toe, so Izzy was rightfully startled.
"Fuck," Ed repeated, "I'm sorry, Iz, fuck I'm sorry." Edward had tears in his eyes, and Izzy hated that he wanted to wipe them away like he used to. He didn't think he was allowed to do that anymore, so Izzy stayed quiet and waited for Ed to continue.
"For everything," Ed started again, "For ignoring you, for leaving you behind, for hurting you, for being a fucking dick. I'm so fucking sorry."
"Edward," Izzy interrupted, "I know you're sorry. I forgave you when Bonnet came back, you know that. Stop apologizing."
"No- Iz- you don't get it! You don't understand how much I need you here! You said so yourself that you don't believe me-" Ed was speaking faster and faster with each word. At this rate he was going to hyperventilate, so Izzy reached out just like he used to before the Revenge sailed into their lives.
"Shut up, Edward," Izzy said as he pulled him in for a hug, one hand in Ed's long hair, resting at the nape of his neck, the other coming to settle on the small of his back, rubbing soothing circles there. Ed's face buried into the swallow tattooed on Izzy's throat, blocking out the light. His arms pulled Izzy into a bone crushing embrace, fingers digging into the leather waistcoat there. Ed's breath was coming out in pants against Izzy's skin.
"Edward Teach, listen to me," Izzy whispered lowly into his ear, "I forgive you. Now, breathe." Edward did as instructed, following Izzy's deep breaths as he demonstrated.
When his stuttering inhales had returned to normal, Izzy pulled back slightly, looking into his eyes. Izzy gave in and wiped the tears that ran down Ed's face.
Ed's next words nearly bowled Izzy over, "Fuck, I love you, Iz. Please know that. I need you here. Always."
Izzy's back straightened as he disentangled himself, as slowly and calmly as he could mange, before walking abruptly out the door, not saying a word or looking back. He needed to leave, Ed's words echoing in his ears, making his heart race and pound in his head.
He couldn't let himself believe the words. If it were true, then everything Izzy had tried to push down would've been for nothing. He wasn't ready for that. Didn't think he would ever be ready for that. If that were true, that would mean that Izzy had never been enough before, and that now that he was moving on, (fuck he was moving on, he cursed at himself) Edward was pulling him back just like always. It wasn't real. It couldn't be real.
If he let himself think it was real, it would only hurt more, when Ed left again. Izzy could keelhaul himself and it would hurt less he was pretty sure. The other alternative was that Ed was lying. Izzy didn't know which was worse.
He had to leave this farce of a ship as soon as possible, and would've packed his stuff into the nearest dinghy if the man he was running from wasn't currently occupying his room. He was panting and his vision was swimming. Izzy was the one about to hyperventilate now.
He could hear the frantic calling of his name, and the rapid footsteps following him down the hallway. Lucius' worried voice trailed after him as he stormed past the open doorway to the storeroom he was still inventorying in.
"Izzy! Wait, please!" Ed's voice was fading into the background as Izzy kept walking hurriedly away from him. He found himself on the bow of the ship, blessedly alone, looking out at the crashing waves below. He thought of jumping, of throwing himself to the cold embrace of the ocean. There were worse ways to die. His feet were twitching from the effort of not climbing the railing when Lucius' voice cut through his musings.
"Love?"
"Fuck," Izzy swore mostly to himself. He couldn't let Lucius see him like this, and he roughly tried to wipe away the tears he only just realized were streaming down his face.
"Izzy? Izzy, love, what's wrong?" Lucius had stopped short of reaching for him, and Izzy couldn't blame him. Izzy had been tensing and flinching away from him all week; no matter how badly he wanted Lucius' touch right now, he understood the distance. In fact, Lucius being so thoughtful had him crying harder. Nobody had been that considerate that fast since, well, since Edward.
Thinking of Edward made his knees buckle as the sobs wrecked through him. Lucius made a distressed sound, and Izzy felt guilt wash over him because he knew he had brought that out of him. He doesn't deserve to feel badly on account of Izzy. He was too good for Izzy. Izzy didn't deserve his kindness or his sweet words.
"Oh, love," Lucius was still hovering and Izzy realized he had been talking out loud.
"Can I hug you, Izzy?" Lucius whispered, and Izzy felt more sobs course through his chest as he nodded repeatedly. He only stopped the absent movement of his head when Lucius wrapped him in his comforting embrace.
Lucius was seething. He hadn't been able to get a word out of Izzy about what happened, but every time Izzy had spoken, Lucius caught Ed's name before he broke down into heaving sobs again. By the time Izzy had calmed down enough to stop crying, he refused to speak, going as far as using hand signals that Lucius vaguely recognized as a language some deaf people he new from his old village had used to communicate.
Lucius couldn't understand his hand language, but he got the gist that he didn't want to talk anymore, that or he couldn't talk anymore. Whatever the reason, Lucius was worried to leave him alone, but he desperately needed to find Blackbeard and demand answers.
"Love," Lucius began, "I need to go speak with someone, but I refuse to leave you alone. Who do you want to stay with while I go? I'll only be a few minutes."
Izzy only made a series of aborted head shakes accompanied by his first to fingers pinching down onto his thumb repeatedly.
Lucius tried again, "I'll give you two options, then. I leave you with Pete or Frenchie. Pick one." Lucius hoped his voice brooked no arguments, and from Izzy resigned sigh, he had hoped correctly.
"Nod or shake your head, okay?" At Izzy's affirmative noise he continued, "You want Pete?" Izzy shook his head 'no' and made that same finger movement.
"Okay, you want Frenchie, then?" Izzy nodded slowly bringing his fist up and mimicking the nodding motion with it. Lucius nodded back and helped him up.
He spotted Frenchie on the main deck, sewing a new cat flag, and headed that way with Izzy under his arm.
"Hey, French," Lucius called, "I need a favor." He looked up at the sound of Lucius' voice, and abruptly got to his feet and the sight of Izzy.
"Yeah, babe," he started, "What's wrong?" He looked rapidly between Izzy and Lucius, but Izzy was making the hand signal for what Lucius figured meant 'no'.
"Oh, nothing," Lucius tried to impart the gravity with his eyes that Frenchie not ask any questions. Frenchie seemed to understand as he just nodded knowingly.
Lucius let out a thankful breath as he started again, "Just need you to keep him company while I go talk to someone real quick." He sat Izzy down on a barrel next to Frenchie before leaning into whisper lowly into the bard's ear, "Do not let him out of your sight, French, I mean it." Frenchie agreed hurriedly before going back to his flag, sending fervid glances at the older pirate next to him.
Good, thought Lucius, now to go find that cunt, Blackbeard. He started toward the last place he saw him, heading down below deck to Izzy's cabin. As soon as he saw Ed, Lucius felt his anger rising.
"What the actual fuck did you do, Edward Teach?" Lucius was shocked at the fury in his own tone as he rounded on the man in question.
Edward looked up at him wide-eyed and lost from where he had been hiding his face in Stede's shoulder. Stede for his part tried to speak, but Lucius cut him off with a stern, "Hold on Captain, I need to speak with him," and pointing his wooden finger at Ed.
"But Ed didn't do-"
"He did something," Lucius interrupted, "Because I had to effectively talk Izzy down from jumping overboard and the only thing I could get him to tell me was Ed's name before he quit talking all together. He is speaking with his hands in a language I've only ever seen deaf people use, so don't fucking tell me he didn't do anything, Stede." Lucius' chest was heaving now.
"Oh, fuck, Stede-" Edward began, "I didn't mean- I wasn't- I mean- fuck."
Lucius was rolling his eyes, "Just tell me what you did so I can clean up your mess, Teach."
Edward looked like he was going to cry at any moment, but Lucius didn't particularly care.
Ed's voice wavered as he spoke quietly, "I told him I loved him. I- I didn't mean- well I did- I do- but I hadn't planned on- I wasn't meaning to-" Ed could barely finish a sentence.
"Oh for fuck's sake," Lucius pinched the bridge of his nose, "He didn't believe you, did he? I told you to apologize, not send him into a crisis!"
"I didn't do it on purpose! It just slipped out! I did apologize- earlier I did- but he didn't believe me. Told me he thought I could replace him- that I don't need him! I do need him! I had to get him to understand that, but I- I was starting to freak out that he didn't- he didn't understand me- he hugged me like he used to- back- back when we- we used to be okay- a long time ago- and it felt- I felt like- and I just said it without thinking- he just walked out- he left and I didn't- I don't know what to do."
"It's no wonder he doesn't believe you! Every time you've used the words 'I need you here, Iz' it's followed by you immediately leaving him behind again. He thinks it's a ploy you use to keep him here because you know how he feels for you, and thinks you're using that against him. He thinks you're lying because you have never done anything to prove otherwise."
Lucius was leaving before he could hear Ed's response to that. He had to make sure Izzy was okay, he could leave Stede to deal with Ed for now.
Lucius returned to the main deck to a very peculiar scene greeting him. Frenchie was looking intently at a flailing Izzy. Well, flailing wasn't the right word, Izzy was using that hand language again, but this time, Frenchie was doing it back. They seemed to be actually communicating like that and Lucius stood there in shock for a minute before Frenchie saw and waved him over.
"Lucius!" Frenchie was sounding extremely happy for some reason, "You didn't tell me Izzy could speak sign language!"
So, that's what that was called, Lucius thought. He walked over to them before answering, "I didn't know until about half an hour ago, French."
Izzy was speaking with his hands again, but this time it was aimed at Lucius. He looked to Frenchie for an explanation.
"He says that he used to stop speaking for days at a time when he was little." Izzy nodded and continued again, Frenchie translating, "Learned it from his mom. Sister was deaf."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Iz," Lucius began, but was cut off by Izzy rapidly pinching his fingers together in a 'no' motion. Lucius looked at Frenchie who dutifully repeated in words Lucius could understand, "He says not to be sorry."
Lucius nodded and smiled encouragingly at Izzy. Frenchie was speaking with his hands now, gesturing in complicated motions, apparently asking Izzy a question.
Frenchie was asking permission, Lucius figured out when he spoke next, "Izzy says I can stay to translate for you while he waits for his voice to come back."
Lucius took a breath, "Okay, Izzy. We need to talk about Edward though, is that okay, love?"
Izzy outright pouted and Lucius had to stop himself from commenting on how adorable that was.
"He says he doesn't want to talk about- fuck I don't know if I should repeat that, babe." Frenchie was holding a hand to his chest, but his smile gave away that he really, really wanted to repeat Izzy.
Izzy himself was smirking, and Lucius said, "Well, now I gotta know."
Frenchie's eyes were mischievous as he translated, "He doesn't want to talk about 'that fucking twat of a man with a dick for a brain'. Damn, babe, I didn't think you could speak about Captain Blackbeard like that," Frenchie was laughing now, and the sound seemed to make Izzy relax a bit.
"How do you know sign language, French?" Lucius asked after calming down from his own fit of laughter.
"Oh, well, my mom was deaf, so I learned it growing up. Granted, I learned the French version, but I learned the English version while I was in service. Turns out it is a handy skill when you need to communicate without the people in charge finding out what you're saying."
Lucius was nodding along, that did make sense. Now, though, he really needed to speak with Izzy about the problem at hand.
"Hey let's head down to the galley and talk. I bet I could persuade Roach to make some coffee." Izzy reluctantly nodded, his fist coming up to mimic the motion.
If Izzy had thought that a decade without going into a quiet spell had somehow meant he would never do so again, he was wrong. To say he was surprised when he found his voice had left him again would be an understatement. He nearly had a panic attack, but luckily, Frenchie had a trick up his sleeve. He had begun to sign back at Izzy's frantic motions, making Izzy feel like he didn't have to force himself back to speaking because he had someone who could understand him.
'Need to calm down, babe,' Frenchie signed at him, bringing Izzy back to the present, 'you're gonna pass out like that.'
Izzy took a deep breath. They were sitting in the galley, Roach had brought them coffee and some hard tack before scurrying back to the kitchen. Lucius, the poor boy, was flicking his gaze rapidly between Izzy and Frenchie trying to keep up, but Frenchie wasn't translating the next few sentences.
'Don't call me that,' Izzy signed at Frenchie.
'Call you what? 'babe'? I call everyone that, but I can stop. Sorry.'
'It's fine. I just know you don't mean it.'
'What? I call everyone babe but that doesn't mean I don't mean it when I say that to you.'
'Yeah yeah yeah, sure.'
'It's true! I think you're a babe so I call you that. You're very cute.' Frenchie was blushing now, and Izzy was dumbstruck.
Narrowing his eyes, he signed back: 'Did you mean to sign that or where you looking for a different word?'
Frenchie looked at him exasperatedly. 'Yes, I meant to call you cute. Handsome, adorable, sexy, charming, funny, and yes cute. Now, can we get back to the whole Captain thing?'
'No! This is much more interesting than that twat face! You just called me, Izzy fucking Hands, cute. I need more context please!'
'Oh for fuck's sake. If I had known you could sign I would have been flirting this whole time. Didn't think you would want me to say it out loud for everybody to hear.'
Lucius was apparently fed up, "Guys, can we please get back on track here? I literally called Ed a fuck up to his face so I'd appreciate not being left out right now."
Izzy hid a laugh behind his hand at that, signing: 'Really? And how well did that go for you?'
"Izzy wants to know how you still have the rest of your fingers."
'I did not say that, but that is a valid concern.'
"I still have them because he knows I'm right," Lucius' bratty reply had Izzy huffing a laugh and rolling his eyes. The answering smile from Lucius warmed the frost that had gathered in his heart.
'You wish.'
"Izzy says 'yeah right'," Frenchie informed him. This time Izzy signed at Frenchie directly: 'You're lucky you are cute. That's not what I said.'
That got a blush and an eye roll from Frenchie, "Okay fine I'll translate word for word from now on then."
"I would appreciate that," Lucius piped up.
He continued after a minute, "Izzy, I need you to know that Ed meant what he said." Izzy scoffed, but let him finish, "He hadn't planned on telling you right then, but he did mean it. He had only meant to apologize like I fucking told him to, but then he said you talked him down from what sounded like a panic attack, and the words slipped."
Izzy looked pleadingly at Frenchie and signed: 'He just wants me to stay, which is nice, but I don't need him to lie to me to do that. He doesn't need me, he doesn't love me, and maybe he did at one point, but he has Stede now. I'm irrelevant. I only remind him of the life he actively left because he hated it so much.'
Frenchie dutifully relayed his words verbatim before turning to Izzy.
'You don't deserve that, babe. This ship would be at the bottom of the ocean without you. I would miss you if you left.'
'I'm not gonna leave, French.'
'Good.'
"He says he isn't gonna leave," Frenchie spoke to Lucius without ever looking away from Izzy's eyes. Izzy couldn't help feeling like that was a demand.