Chapter Text
One - Fire
He was lying on his side on the floor, breathing hard. One hand cushioning his head, the other on his chest, calming himself. The fluorescent light is shining from the ceiling. Shining down on the well-used linoleum. Dark stripes from the soles of their shoes adore the beige flooring, marking their hard efforts, learning the new choreography. He blinks when sweat is sliding down his forehead and into his eyes. His body is tired and hurting, but he knows the effort will pay off. His heart is also beating at a rapid pace against his rib cage, telling him the pause is needed.
He watches the other members. Namjoon and Jin sit with their backs against the mirror, watching Hoseok and HIM going through the last steps again. Jimin is stretching on the side and Yoongi is standing in front of him, hands on his hips, breathing deeply.
His eyes soar back to HIM, taking him in. The music stopped a while ago, but he and Hoseok go through the motions. Perfecting the posture of his upper body. His shirt is clinging to his back and chest, proof that he gave his all. Always.
He grew up and filled out. Hugging his body feels so different now. Before, he felt his lean body and bones, when he hugged him from behind. Now, he is as tall as him, and when he slings his arms around him, he feels his muscled chest or flat ripped abdomen. His waist seems small when he puts his hands there. And he remembers his body heat. It wasn’t always like that.
He is watching him in the mirror. Taking him further in. He finishes the last posture, his head is leaning to the side and he sees the hard line of his jaw. A drop of sweat glides down his cheek, over his jaw, and down his throat. The single drop vanishes under his neckline. He is fascinated by how his skin glows in the light. His eyes sparkle with an inner fire that is purely his.
He remembers when he saw him first. The fire wasn’t there, like now. It was a shy, small flame in big brown eyes. The brown of his eyes in the light is a dark amber, with tiny specks of gold. But you can just see it when you are very close. From afar, they are a dark brown, like so many others. But he is not like others, he thinks.
Their eyes meet in the mirror and they smile. The pace of his heart starts up again despite him lying on the floor for over a minute now. He sits up, breathing deeply, trying to calm down. When they smiled at each other in the past, he felt light and happy.
It was always like that. But lately, it feels different. Deeper. Warmer. More than happy.
Hoseok claps his hands and says they are finished for today. He can feel the instant relief in the air. It floats through the room like a gust of wind.
He holds his hand out to him. When HE walks over, his plea is to help him up. His hand feels comfortable. „Let’s go, Hyung,“ he smiles again and pulls him up with a powerful jerk. Despite their similar build, he is stronger than him and it shows. Their clasped hands are pressed between their chests now and their faces come close with the momentum.
Almost too close. He never noticed before, but he does now. A chill runs up his spine and he shudders.
„Hyung, dress warmly or you will catch a cold,“ he says, rubbing his other hand over his shoulder. It leaves a hot trail down his arm.
„I will,“ he smiles and steps back, going over to his bag and pulling a hoodie over his head. HE goes to his own bag and takes a new shirt out. He slips his soaked shirt off and wipes the remaining sweat off his chest. It’s a normal thing to do. His eyes are on HIM instantly, taking that glorious skin in. He suddenly comes to his senses and turns around, looking at the others. He fears someone noticed his staring. But they are all busy, collecting their things to head back to the dorm. No one noticed. He breathes deeply again, calming down.
In the car, he is sitting next to him. Their knees touch, and again, he feels the heat of his body seeping into his. He never likes the heat of summer, or when the clothes he wears cocoon him in uncomfortable warmth. It feels suffocating on his skin and it starts to itch. But HIS warmth makes him relax and whole. „You are quiet,“ HE whispers in his ear. „Everything okay?“
He turns to face him. The car is dark, the only light comes from the streetlights they are passing in a blur. The short illumination caresses their faces. His look is soft, but again, he notices the flame in his eyes. „Yeah, just tired. My legs are killing me,“ he whispers back, smiling slightly.
Suddenly he slides sideways in his seat when one of his legs is lifted and pulled onto HIS lap. HIS hands run swiftly and knowingly over his shin, down to the calf to massage the protesting muscles. Before he can complain, a small sigh leaves his lips. Seconds later, almost a full-on groan escapes his mouth when HE finds a small knot and presses down with his thumb. Pain shoots through his leg and he tries to pull back, but HE holds him down with strong hands.
„Stay,“ he commands softly.
The relief seeps through him a second later and he sighs again.
A laugh sounds from the front and Jin squeezes his face between the headrest, looking amused. „What are you doing? It sounds like someone is dying back here.“
He isn’t far off. HIS hands slowly made their way up his leg, over his knee, and mid-thigh. The fingers press into his flesh, leaving a hot trail on his skin where he touched. The heat travels on its own up his thigh, where HIS hands have been close to, but not intentionally further.
Maybe by accident.
It never bothered him to be caressed on his thigh before, he always welcomes being touched by people he likes. But lately, it feels different with HIM. „Thanks,“ he says, and puts his hand over his, halting him from moving further up. „It’s already better,“ he says, looking at Jin. „Our Dongsaeng has magical hands, all better“.
„What about me?“ Jin complains teasingly. „I’m your oldest hyung, shouldn’t you show me your caring side?“
„Sorry, I got my hands full with Taehyungie-hyung,“ HE explains, lifting his leg a bit to show the unmistakable evidence.
Jin huffs and mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like „Ungrateful brat,“ when he turns back to face the front.
RM looks shortly over his shoulder and smiles. „Tell us if it’s bad and Sejin will book a PT-session for you,“ he says.
Before he can answer, HE chimes in. „Nah, hyung is all good. I will do the other leg when we are home. Come to my room after your shower.“
RM looks amused but questioningly at Taehyung. „If I didn't know any better, I would think he is the hyung. Not you.“
Taehyung shrugs and smiles softly, suddenly realizing that he caresses HIS hand with his thumb. Running over the slightly coarse skin on the back of his hand, over a prominent vein and to his wrist. „It’s all good, Namjoon-ah. I’m fine.“
A sudden pain shoots through his other leg and he jerks back. „Ahh, a cramp! Ahhh.“ He tries to stretch his leg, lifting up from his seat to put weight on it to get over the cramp.
„Give me your foot,“ HE commands and tries to hold in a laugh.
„No, it’s fine. It’s over,“ he denies. Which is just slightly true.
HE must know because he leans over and pokes his index finger into his flesh. „OUCH!“ he exclaims indignantly. „Jungkook-ah!“ swatting his hand away and falling back into his seat.
„Knew it,“ he says smugly. „Find me after you’ve showered, and we will loosen up your muscles. You should have stretched more. Not just lying on the floor like goo.“
Taehyung suddenly feels self-conscious, when the others laugh. It is not because of the soft scolding, but because HE noticed him. That simple sentence doesn’t sound innocent to him anymore. A few weeks ago, it would have been. But now, it makes his heart beat faster.
Did he notice him staring, checking him out?
„Later,“ HE tells him again, not giving him the option to get out of it. But he might try anyway.
When they arrive at the dorm, they are ravenous. Eating the food, one staff had ordered for them earlier. He is close to asking HIM to feed him, he is so tired. But he needs to shower.
Namjoon is the first to shower since he inhaled his food and one by one the dining table clears.
„You know I mean it, right Taehyungie?“
He looks up. He was spacing out, too many thoughts on his mind. Jungkook looks at him with a determined face. „Yes, Jungkook-ah.“
„I will drag you out of your bed if you don’t come to me. You need to take more care of your body,“ he insists.
„I promise, I will come to you when I’m done.“
„Good. I mean it.“ Jungkook, dropping the honorifics, tells Taehyung that he is serious and doesn’t take no for an answer. It took years for Jungkook to come to this point, but only with him. He uses his name like that when they are alone.
„Yes, I will. I promise.“ He looks at his back when he leaves the room to shower.
Taehyung thinks back. A few months ago, he called him Taehyung, in a deep voice. Looking him straight in the eyes, not blinking. He was taken aback then, speechless for a second. Was it the first time he realized something shifted? His chopsticks fall clattering to the tabletop, and he looks down, perplexed. Hair in his eyes, shoulders hunched.
Footsteps sound and he knows Yoongi-hyung walked past the dining table to the freezer, taking out a cool-pack for his sore shoulder. „You alright, Taehyung-ah?“ he asks, closing the freezer door with a thump.
He looks up, meeting a cat-like stare. He knows he can’t bullshit him. Yoongi just knows! „Yeah. Just thinking. Contemplating life.“
His hyung moves forward, holding out his free hand. Taehyung takes it. It’s cold from the ice pack. It’s a habit they developed over the years when they fought or wanted to talk seriously. „Something is bothering you really bad.“ It is a statement, not a question.
„Kind of,“ he admits and breathes deeply again. He doesn’t know how many times he did that today. „Things change, and I… It makes me confused. I don’t know what to make of it at the moment…what it means.“ Taehyung looks at their hands when Yoongi squeezes lightly. He feels the warm skin now, but it’s not the heat he feels with Jungkook. It doesn’t jump over to his hand and climb up his arm and inside his chest. It doesn’t bury in his heart and lungs, staying there for the time they touch.
Taehyung looks up again. Yoongi’s laser-like eyes burn into his. „You know where to find me, if you want to talk, Taehyung-ah.“
He makes an affirming sound, nodding for emphasis. His throat closed up and he couldn’t answer. Yoongi squeezes his fingers one more time and leaves for his room.
Taehyung gets up, cleaning up the dining room table and kitchen. It’s just a few pairs of chopsticks and some bowels. Since he can’t cook, he developed and honed his dishwashing skills. They are fairly useful, like his laundry skills. That makes Taehyung think of HIM again, and that damn laundry detergent he uses now. He changed the usual brand some weeks ago.
Somewhere in the apartment he hears Jungkook yell that the shower is free. He moves on autopilot, going to his room, fetching the clothes he sleeps in and his shower gel. When he steps inside the bathroom, he halts. HIS scent lingers in the air. It invades his nostrils and climbs up his brain. He feels like there is a short circuit between his synapses.
Most of the time they don’t do it, but he closes the door and turns the lock. He steps out of his clothes and climbs in the shower. The water isn’t too warm after all the others showered, but it doesn’t bother him since he doesn’t like that anyway. He steps fully under the stream, blocking out other sounds from the apartment. It’s just the water running down his hair and over his ears. He is in a cocoon of water and his thoughts.
He leans forward, one hand running over his chest and down his abdomen. He shouldn’t, but he can’t otherwise. It’s just too much to handle at the moment, and he needs the relief. His hand slides down between his legs, he is already hard. It happened instantly when he smelled Jungkook's scent in the bathroom. He smiles ironically. Like a hunting dog, pointing to the deer. He huffs out a laugh, but it changes to a groan when he holds his penis in his hand, stroking up to the glans, relieving some of the need to be touched. His thumb glides over the tip, smearing pre-cum around the slit before the water washes it away. His index finger rubs the sensitive underside of his dick, close to the frenulum. The humidity from the water sets the lingering scent of Jungkook on his skin. It feels like he surrounds him.
Taehyung imagines that the warmth of the water is Jungkook, pressing from behind, against his back. The hand around his dick strokes back down, and up again, twisting under the tip, giving friction to this sensitive part of his body. His other hand moves down his neck and halts at one nipple, rubbing the little nub gently at first in small circles, before taking it between his fingers, pinching. It doesn’t hurt, it’s just the right amount of pressure.
The thought of Jungkook being with him like that excites him. It’s not the first time, in the last few weeks. His free hand glides lower to his, until now, neglected balls. He is gripping them softly, rolling them between his fingers. His breathing exhilarates because, in his free mind, it’s not his hand that strokes up his shaft, giving him this pleasure. Not his hand pumping faster. It’s not the warm water on his back. In his mind, Jungkook’s warm body is pressing him against the tiles, running his hands over Taehyung's body, and giving him the pleasure he craves from him.
He is close, he can feel it. He thinks of the time when Jungkook bit him softly in his ear. The slight pain, the ghosting of lips over the shell and the exhale that made his skin tingle. His own finger rubs behind his balls and presses down, when he feels his climax. He is sensitive there, and it is all he needs now. When Taehyung comes with a groan, he thinks it is too loud.
Feeling exhausted, he slumps forward and hits his head on the tiles. Slight pain shoots through him, bringing him down to reality. He raises his hands to cradle his head, knocking the shower gel down that he had placed on the tap. Water washes his cum off the tiles and down the drain like it never happened.
The first time he realized what he did, he was ashamed and confused. He is still somewhat confused and ashamed, but the feeling lessened over the weeks. He had felt awkward with HIM after it happened the first time. But he can’t help it. Something changed and he can’t reverse it. At the moment, he can just hide it as best as he can.
„Are you alright, Taehyung-ah?“ Jimin is yelling from the hall. The door handle jolts.
„Yeah, I’m alright,“ he hollers back. „I will be done in a minute.“
He rubs at the small bump, which he is sure will be gone tomorrow. The only witness to his exploits in the shower. Taehyung washes his hair and body efficiently, before climbing out. He brushes his teeth and does his skincare routine. He looks in the mirror, taking himself in. He left a scratch on his chest, it’s minor, but there. There is also the small red bump on his forehead. He shakes his head, letting the damp hair fall in his face, and dresses in loose shorts and a shirt.
When he walks out of the bathroom and past the living room, Jimin looks up from his phone. „What happened,“ he asks. „It sounded like you had another cramp and knocked something over.“
Heat rises into Taehyung's cheeks. „Yeah,“ he agrees. „Another one. Really bad,“ he admits and bends down to rub his calf, looking pained.
„You should take magnesium,“ Hoseok chimes in from the sofa. „So it doesn’t happen again. You need to take care of your body, Taehyung-ah!“
„I will, Hob-ah!“
„Good. Take up Jungkookies offer, it will help you relax.“
Little does he know, that HIS hands on him will have the opposite effect. But he promised.
He still had the hope, that he took too long and that HE fell asleep. But luck is not on his side tonight. When Taehyung reaches Jungkook's room, he is wide awake, sitting at his desk and playing a game. „Hey,“ he breathes and runs a hand through his hair.
Jungkook turns around and his eyes zero in on his forehead. He jumps up, forgetting the game, and rushes up to him. He cradles his face between his hands, turning it this and that way. „What happened to you,“ he asks, perplexed.
„You just died,“ Taehyung answers barely because Jungkook squishes his cheeks.
„Aishhhh,“ he hisses and steps back to his computer, pausing the game. Taehyung grins, falling on the bed and closing his eyes. He hears HIM leave the chair, and feels the bed dip beside him.
„Roll over,“ HE commands, but Taehyung doesn’t react. He pays for that, when Jungkook slips his hands under his hip and shoulder and rolls him over, easily.
„Ugh,“ he protests. Taehyungs’ face is pressed into HIS pillow. He inhales deeply and realizes, that it was a dumb thing to do. HIS scent invades his senses full force. Taehyung is glad that he lies on his stomach and had jerked off earlier in the shower because otherwise, he would be fully hard already.
He feels Jungkook's hands on one calf, running down his skin and beginning to massage the aching muscle. It feels professional and not sensual, and Taehyung is glad about that. They don’t talk much, Jungkook humming to himself occasionally.
Taehyung is lulled close into a slumber when he suddenly jerks. He feels HIM, making room between his legs, sitting down. Jungkook then proceeds to run his hands up from the calves, to the point where Taehyung's thighs end and his ass begins.
His loose shorts are shoved up, revealing the underside of his butt cheek. Taehyung looks over his shoulders, flabbergasted, pushing up on his elbows. Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice that he shocked him. Instead he bends forward, his hands on either side of Taehyung's chest now.
Jungkook slides up Taehyung's body, just to sit down on his butt, caging him in. He grins at him a second and sits fully up. Jungkook then reaches forward to push Taehyung flat. „Lie down. I will also do your back. You are too tense,“ he complains.
Taehyung huffs. „Yeah, I wonder why.“ The sarcastic note is lost on Jungkook, who is busy kneading his back over his shirt, finding a knot here and there, pressing down. Taehyung also complains here and there, just to distract himself from his own feelings. He shamelessly lets out a deep groan when Jungkook finally slides his hands under his shirt, pressing his thumbs down on the sides of Taehyung's spine and up to his neck, shoving up his shirt in the process. Taehyung doesn’t care at the moment.
„What are you doing here,“ Jin asks curiously, leaning on the doorframe. „If I didn’t know what…“ He stops himself. „Never mind,“ he adds, shaking his head and closing the door.
„What is he saying,“ Jungkook asks, while digging his thumb into a persistent knot and Taehyung moans softly.
„Have no idea,“ he huffs furthermore, before burying his face in the pillow. His body is in overdrive and he is hard. He has the urge to slightly move his hips to feel some friction on his shaft. But his common sense shouts loud and clear that it would be the worst idea of his life.
„Okay, I’m done, Taehyungie-hyung.“ Jungkook rolls off him joyfully, lying next to him.
Taehyung doesn’t dare to move. His mind and body fight for the upper hand. If he would have to describe his feelings right now, he would answer with sweet agony. He turns his head to the side, opening his eyes just a fraction. Huge brown eyes look at him. Jungkook is too close.
„Thank you, Guk-ah.“
„Are you tired?“
He blinks once, signaling a yes. He is actually wide awake. His insides are on fire. It was the dumbest idea to let HIM touch him.
„You wanna sleep here?“
He blinks again, signaling yes for a second time. But he actually doesn’t know if he can ever sleep in his bed, next to HIM, again.
„Okay.“ Jungkook gets up and turns off the light. A second later, the bed dips again, and the blanket covers them both. „Turn over,“ HE commands again. But this time Taehyung obeys, because he doesn’t want to embarrass himself. He turns his back to Jungkook, signaling that he wants him to spoon. Jungkook laughs. „Alright.“ And moves behind him, slinging an arm over his waist, his chest close to Taehyung's back.
He sighs. „Good night, Taehyung,“ he says again without honorifics and in his deep voice.
Taehyung shudders, he can’t help it.
Jungkook notices and presses his chest to his back, caging him in, with the intention to warm him up.
While having Jungkook's hands on him, he just felt those places tingling with heat. But now, Taehyung is reminded of his thoughts in the shower, how he wished to feel HIM pressed to his back, hands touching him. A jet of flame ignites his body, and he doubts he will be able to sleep in Jungkook's arms anytime soon.
Taehyung contemplates sneaking out when Jungkook is fast asleep, but Taehyung knows HE will be miffed in the morning when he wakes up alone. So he lies on his side, heart beating loudly in his chest, enduring this sweet torture.
The apartment gets quiet. There is some noise coming from one floor up, but it dies down soon. Later, he hears someone go to the bathroom and the toilet flush. The doors close again softly. A motorbike drives past outside, and a dog barks. Taehyung counts his breaths, willing his heart and lungs to slow down. He hears and feels Jungkook's breaths get deeper. His mouth is close to Taehyung's neck and he senses the exhale on his skin. Time passes and Jungkook turns on his back. Taehyung feels elevated and finally relaxes.
He must have fallen asleep eventually because he hits that stage where you know you are still sleeping, but close to waking up. His body feels heavy, which is part of his muscles fault, and also Jungkooks’. The maknae is pressed to his side, half laying on him. His face in the crook of his neck, one arm over Taehyung's chest, and one leg draped over his. Jungkook’s knee is close to Taehyung’s crotch. What also gets Taehyung's attention is Jungkook's half-hard dick, that is pressed into his hip.
„You’ve got to be kidding me,“ he breathes, feeling like he is part of a cliché. The truth is, this happened before. And it is morning! You can’t be accounted for what your dick does, when you sleep. Taehyung knows this, but Jungkook is moving his hips subtly now, rubbing up against him. It’s just too much, especially when Jungkook's lips leave a sigh, ghosting over his skin.
Taehyung tries to move and to get some space between them, but the younger one grabs on tight. It gets worse, when he rolls over and squeezes his knee between Taehyung's legs. He feels HIM! They have seen each other naked before, it is not a big deal. Getting a boner on stage can happen too, with the rubbing of clothing and the added adrenalin. But this feels different. It’s intimate for Taehyung and it is something he secretly wishes for. He can’t use Jungkook like that. „Gukie,“ he tries to wake him, jostling him with one hand, to no avail.
Jungkook pushes slowly down, dragging his erection against his hip bone. The side of his thigh grazes Taehyung’s dick and he shudders. He slowly starts to panic, when a soft moan comes from Jungkook. He tries to shove Jungkook off him, who protests and tries to hold on. Jungkook has always been a deep sleeper but this seems ridiculous to Taehyung. In a desperate attempt, he leans forward and bites Jungkook's shoulder. The reaction takes a few seconds, but it is happening.
„ARGH! Hyung! Why are you biting me! It hurts!“ Jungkook pushes partially off his chest, looking bewildered.
Taehyung stares up at him, frozen, because their dicks touch through their pants, and he can feel himself getting hard. Another second passes, they look at each other, and neither of them moves. Suddenly, Jungkook turns red in the face and rolls off of Taehyung, and into a fetus position. „I’m so sorry, hyung,“ he exclaims, muffled behind hands. „I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to. I was sleeping and I…,“ he trails off.
Taehyung can only stare at the ceiling, breathing deeply. Jungkooks embarrassment is a sudden mood-killer and he softens in no time. „It’s okay, Jungkook-ah. It happens.“
„That never happened before,“ the younger exclaims a little panicky. „I was sleeping and dreaming, and I…,“ he says again, stopping his words. He still has his back to Taehyung, curled in his protective position.
Taehyung reaches out, patting Jungkook's back. „I know you are embarrassed, Jungkook-ah. But don’t be,“ he assures him, caressing the shoulder he bit. „I will go. I’m sorry I bit you.“
Jungkook doesn’t make a sound when Taehyung gets up and goes to the door. Taehyung looks back at HIM, and their eyes meet. Big brown eyes stare with too many emotions to name. „Please, don’t worry.“ The older smiles assuringly, before leaving quietly.
Breakfast on the day of the „Dick-Incident“, like Taehyung calls it in his head, is the most awkward moment for Jungkook. His eyes are downcast, eating in silence and hurry. He is silent for most of the day, answering only when he is addressed. The others tease him, saying that he is suddenly too quiet, and try to break him out of his funk, unsuccessfully. He still works hard, practicing the choreographies, so the others leave him alone in the end.
They are back in the practice room. Taehyung knows when HE tries to secretly look at him. Because his eyes are always on him, and he catches him every time. The emotions in Jungkook’s eyes vary from shyness and disbelief to curiosity and insecurity. Taehyung can relate. He is still having that internal battle every time he looks at HIM.
Some days he can cope better than other days. Just now, they were standing in formation, looking at the mirrors, getting ready to do the Danger choreography. The music starts and they work through the first steps. When Taehyung puts his hand on HIS shoulder, he squeezes lightly. Their eyes meet briefly and there is a glimpse of fire, followed by confusion. Then the moment is over, and Jungkook is back to his professional self, hardening his features to fit the song and choreography. When they reach the part, where Taehyung needs to place his foot on Jungkook’s side, he is careful not to hurt him. Again, their eyes meet in the mirror. Thankfulness is there and softness. When they finish the song, a break is called. Jungkook goes to his bag and reaches for his hoodie. He pulls it over his head and lies down on one of the blue gym mats.
„Can you get him out of his funk?“ Namjoon asks suddenly beside him. Yoongi-hyung is standing next to him, too. Taehyung looks at them questioningly.
„Taehyung-ah,“ Yoongi says in a zero-bullshit-tone. „You are the one to get him out of it. You two are one person. You know what to do.“ With that, his hyungs sit down in a corner.
Taehyung looks around and thinks about what to do. He needs Jungkook to be impulsive, to break out of his thoughts. He needs him to get angry.
Hoseok and Jimin had a big gymnastics ball earlier that is now lying in a corner. He can see how his hyungs watch him, when he takes the ball and sets it in front of him. Taehyung knows he will face punishment, but maybe, just maybe, he can prevent it. He aims and kicks the ball expertly, watching it sailing through the air and to its target. In the last second, Jungkook raises both arms and knocks the ball away.
Taehyung knows he needs to flee now. He can hear the hyungs and staff laughing and running footsteps. He is out the door and down the corridor in no time. Adrenaline is rushing through his veins, it’s exhilarating and he feels excited. Taehyung is laughing while he hoofs it down the hallway. The footsteps get closer and he feels a hand on his shoulder, yanking him back. He stumbles and they come to a halt, crashing into a wall. They don’t feel the pain from the impact. They grapple, both trying to up the other.
„Hyung, are you crazy! You could have hit me in the face!“ Jungkook shouts, finally grabbing Taehyung's wrists and forcing them down. They breath heavily, looking at each other. Jungkook's eyes spit fire, while Taehyung looks mischievous.
„You finally look at me again,“ he says, smiling brightly. His wrists get painfully squeezed in answer and yanked over his head.
„Is this funny to you,“ the younger growls, leaning in closer, intimidatingly.
They haven’t been this close in over a week and Taehyung realizes how much he missed his proximity. Their eyes lock and they stare, unblinking. It feels like a push and pull between them. They are still breathing heavily from running. Taehyung's eyes finally start to water, due to the non blinking, and he closes them, laying his head on Jungkook's shoulder. The position totally strains his arms, but it is worth it, when the younger loosens his grip.
„I missed you, Guk-ah.“ His arms are free now, and he slings them around Jungkook's waist.
„Hyung…“
„Please talk to me,” Taehyung insists softly.
The silence stretches between them. The seconds tick by and they breathe in unison.
„Hyung, I’m embarrassed. I have a lot on my mind.“
„You don’t need to be embarrassed about the „Dick-Incident“, it was morning.“
„Hyung!“ Jungkook exclaims loudly. „You are not helping,“ and tries to get out of his arms. But Taehyung holds him tight.
„You want me to do something embarrassing in return, to make you feel better? So you are not alone?“
„That is not the point.“
„You know I will do it.“
„I know, but that’s how you are! You don’t care what other people think.“
„That's not true. I’m just better to hide it. I care what you think. Of me.“
Silence follows.
„Hyung, you are my best friend. I just don’t know what to think.“
„Because of the Di..“
„Hyung! Stop saying that,“ Jungkook says exasperated. „It’s embarrassing.“
„I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me. Or the hyungs.“ Taehyung lifts his head, looking at the maknae gravely. „I don’t want you to hold back who you are.“ Taehyung says this with all the sincerity he’s got, because he wants it for himself. He doesn’t want to hold back the person he really is. Doesn’t want to hide. He thought a lot about this the last few months.
Jungkook casts his look down, but Taehyung lifts his chin gently, forcing him to look at him again. „You are my best friend. Will you talk to me, when you need to?“
They look at each other’s eyes again. Drinking the other in, studying their features. They suddenly close in, breathing each other’s air. Taehyung recognizes how that small flame in Jungkook's eyes ignites, but he is holding back.
„Don’t let Jimin-hyung hear that.“ Jungkook whispers.
„Don’t deflect. I’m serious.“
„Yes, Taehyung-ah.“
Jungkook moves in to hug Taehyung, pressing their cheeks together. They stay like that for a few more seconds, soaking the feeling of the other in, until the maknae yawns.
„Let’s take a nap,“ Taehyung suggests, and pulls him back down the hallway, to the members and the blue sports mat, that looked really comfortable to nap on.