Work Text:
Red,
During the past few days I've asked myself frequently what it would be like when we arrive at the dawn of this day. Now the time has come and you are leaving me; you are leaving us.
Don't get me wrong, I know you are doing the right thing. I can't find the right words to express how much respect I have for your courage, your energy, your strength - for you. That's why I fluctuate between pride, joy and selfish sadness, because I won't see you for a long time. Won't touch, hold or kiss you. On this last day, we are planetside. They said there's a storm coming, so we're at our quarters, you next to me, sleeping, and me writing this letter. The people here, they talk about a storm. The air smells as if it carries the sea right in front of me in this gray on gray. Will you tell me how the air smells in the places you will visit with the Blades? And one day, I want to show you what the air in Cuba smells like.
You know, these past six months - that thing between us - made me think about love. Why you find it, lose it and find it again. I see it like this: There are countless ways to love. Imagine the first love. The romantic love that is overwhelming, scary, but also makes you feel brave. The one that allows you to grow and will stay with you, even after it ends.
And there is also this carnal love that burns with a flame of passion. It's raw and wild. This love needs action and doesn't allow you to show weakness. It can't deal with time, it is a flame that is not easy to be maintained, but easily extinguished.
Now to platonic love, that which makes you feel for your family or ... found family. Friends and people you allow to be close to you. It permits you to be vulnerable and it exists without judgment.
The love I feel for you, my space cowboy, feels honest and true. It is there and it is strong, it is like an invisible bond that connects us. We are a good team and we've become more. Your love is the kind that burns under your skin. You connect everything. You make me feel like I am loved for who I am, you laugh at my jokes and we function without many words. With you, I feel like we have both become as radiant as the sun. Shining brightly, all the planets orbiting around us. Passionate, but we allow each other to be weak. We don't stay still, we encourage each other to move forward. Like I encouraged you to leave with the Blades to look for your mum. I know you will find her. I believe in you.
I know you will be far, far away soon - mere solar systems or even a galaxy? Who knows, but know that I will wait for you. We've traveled to faraway places together before. We fought side by side. Decked the bad guys in the face. I thought about it, about all the time that will pass between us. So many things that will happen that we can't share, moments in which we can't save each other's asses. I hope you will stay safe. Please stay safe for me, you, and us.
The next time we see each other we won't be the same Keith and Lance we were the day you left. We will be better, we will have grown - even if apart. This development, all the good and the bad, the hellos and the goodbyes; the being weak but also allowing that weakness to make us stronger.
It's almost as if life is an ocean and we're just drifting apart on its waves, powerless. This ocean carried us together on this sea of events. I hope it will carry us into each other's arms again.
I realize I'm orbiting pretty far outside of my point, so let me just tell you: I love you. No matter how long it will take for us to see each other again. I need you to know that.
With love,
now and always,
your sharpshooter,
Blue