Chapter Text
“I said I was sorry.”
“I know you’re sorry,” said Haley. “But knowing you screwed up doesn’t change what you did, Aaron.” Her eyes glinted. “Or what you didn’t do.”
Aaron felt his cheeks burn, but he held his ex-wife’s gaze. “I was hunting down a serial killer. George Foyet-”
“I don’t care, Aaron! You said you’d be there, and you weren’t, and Jack missed you.”
All further arguments died in Aaron’s throat. Haley glared at him for a moment longer, and finally her shoulders slumped. “I know you need to find this guy. But you promised you’d be there for your son too.”
Aaron had to look away. The one promise he had made was that he wouldn’t disappoint his son. One year into his divorce, and he had already failed more times than he should have.
“I am sorry,” he said. “Can I see him?”
He knew it was futile even before Haley shook her head. “It’s late, and he’s asleep.” She paused, and her steely gaze softened just a touch. “Come back tomorrow. Or over the weekend, if you end up travelling. He would like to see you.”
“And I want to see him,” said Aaron quietly.
Haley raised an eyebrow, but she said nothing. Aaron bit down on the inside of his cheek. “I made a mistake. It won’t happen again.”
Haley didn’t look convinced, but Aaron could hardly blame her for that. He swallowed a sigh, and turned away. “I’ll come by as soon as I can.”
“Okay,” said Haley quietly. “Take care, Aaron.”
“You too.”
Haley gave him a sad smile, and gently shut the door in his face.
For a moment, Aaron couldn’t move. On the other side of the door lay the family he had loved, and lost through his own actions, and leaving would break his heart all over again, but he had no choice. Aaron took one final look at what used to be his home, and turned back to his car.
Only once he got inside did he let his frustration overflow.
It wasn’t Haley’s fault. The only person to blame was himself. Finding Foyet was important but nothing took precedence over his family. That was a lesson Aaron should have learned by now.
His family was slipping further and further away, and Aaron only had himself to blame.
It was getting late, and he had work in the morning, but the thought of going back to his empty apartment suddenly seemed intolerable.
There was a bar close by. Aaron really wanted a drink.
The bar was nicer than Aaron had expected. It was busy without being overwhelming, and there was a surprisingly good selection of drinks. Aaron took a sip of a very good scotch, and leaned on the bar.
He hadn’t meant to miss the evening with Jack. The Reaper had gotten into his head the way no UnSub was supposed to, and even if it was somewhat justified by the threat the man posed it was no excuse for letting down his son.
Aaron placed the cold glass against his forehead. He missed his family, but this was how he had lost his family in the first place. He had missed all of Jack’s milestones, and he had left Haley to do the work of building their family, and he only had himself to blame but it still burned.
He needed something to take his mind off of how much he had screwed up the most important thing in his world. Aaron took another sip of the scotch and relished in the burn as he turned back to scan the bar.
Nothing out of the ordinary. People talking and dancing together, and getting together and having fun, and sometimes Aaron hated being a profiler because he could see absolutely everything and it only reminded him of everything he had once had and had now lost through his own misplaced priorities.
Aaron was debating between getting another drink and giving it up and going home when he became aware of someone watching him.
Aaron was used to that. He had never let himself attention to it, considering he had been in a committed relationship since high school, but he had always noticed. Now he was tired and frustrated and full of regret, and maybe this would get his mind off it.
It didn’t hurt that the man was very attractive. He had tousled blond hair and piercing grey-blue eyes, and when Aaron met his gaze his mouth twitched into a smile that made Aaron’s stomach flutter. He tilted his head in silent enquiry, and Aaron wouldn’t normally talk to random strangers but tonight he didn’t care. He took another sip of his drink, then walked along the bar.
“Do you mind if I join you?”
The man’s smile widened. “Not at all. Please, take a seat.”
Oh. He was British. His voice was also deep and warm and Aaron definitely approved. “Thank you.” He slid on to the stool, and held out a hand. “Aaron.”
“Clyde,” said the man.
His handshake was firm and lingered just a moment longer than usual, and Aaron’s own mouth curved into a smile. Clyde’s eyes sparkled. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Aaron.”
“Likewise.” He glanced at the empty glass on the bar. “May I buy you a drink?”
Clyde looked him up and down, and licked his lips. “I never object to handsome men buying me drinks.”
Aaron felt his cheeks burn, and took refuge in turning to catch the barman’s eye. “Another, please?”
“Thank you,” said Clyde.
He took a long sip of the whiskey that was poured out, and Aaron tried not to watch the way his throat worked, but he couldn’t help it. Clyde caught his eye and smirked, and Aaron wrenched his spiralling thoughts under control.
“Are you in town for business?”
“No, I’m visiting a friend,” said Clyde. “But she has to work tomorrow and I don’t.” He looked Aaron up and down again, eyes lingering in a way that Aaron hadn’t experienced in a long time. “And before you ask, she is very definitely not my type.”
“I’m very glad to hear that,” said Aaron. His heart was pounding, and it had clearly been far too long since he last did this, but excitement was building along with the nerves. “What exactly might your type be?”
Clyde’s smile widened. “Oh, I’m traditional. Tall, dark, handsome.” He leaned in and lowered his voice, “And willing and able to bend me over and make me forget my own name.”
Aaron’s pants were suddenly far too tight. The image of Clyde bent over and taking him was a very appealing one, and that smirk and that accent were the last straw. He laid his hand on Clyde’s thigh, and heard his breathing catch.
“I think I could manage that,” he murmured. “As long as you don’t forget mine.”
“No chance of that,” Clyde breathed. His pupils had blown so wide only a thin ring of blue showed, and Aaron felt him shiver. “Are you going to make me scream?”
Aaron traced his fingers along the seam of Clyde’s jeans. “I’m going to make you beg,” he said.
A shuddering breath slipped from Clyde’s lips. He swallowed hard, and covered Aaron’s hand with his own. “My hotel is a five minute walk.”
Aaron hesitated. He didn’t go home with people he met in bars. He didn’t even know Clyde’s last name. He should say no, ask for Clyde’s number, and do this properly.
Aaron was so hard it hurt, and it had been nearly two years since Haley left, and Clyde wanted him, and Aaron gave himself a break. He downed his drink in one, and set the glass down.
“Lead the way.”
Clyde’s face split into a brilliant smile that left Aaron’s heart skipping a beat. He finished his own drink, and slid off the stool. “It would be my pleasure.”
“It certainly will,” said Aaron.
That earned him a startled laugh, and Clyde stepped closer. “I’ll hold you to that.” He reached up to straighten Aaron’s tie. “Once you’ve decided I’ve earned it of course.”
His tone was teasing, but there was an edge of uncertainty in his voice that made Aaron pause. He reached up to catch Clyde’s hand. “This is supposed to be fun for both of us,” he said. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
Clyde held his gaze for a moment, and then tension Aaron hadn’t realised he’d been holding eased from his shoulders. “Likewise,” he said. “But I do really want you to fuck me tonight.”
Aaron smiled, and was glad when Clyde smiled back. He kept hold of Clyde’s hand as they left the bar, and as soon as they were outside turned to face him. “I intend to,” he said. “But first I’d like to kiss you.”
Clyde blinked, but the surprise was almost immediately replaced by a soft smile. “I think I’d like that too.”
Aaron stepped forward, and when Clyde didn’t move cupped the back of his head and leaned in. Clyde’s breathing hitched as their lips met, then his hands came to rest tentatively on Aaron’s waist. It was a stark change from his brazen confidence inside, but he was very good with his tongue and Aaron groaned and tightened his grip in his hair. Clyde moaned into his mouth, and Aaron couldn’t help pressing him back against the wall.
“Now I’d like to do a lot more things to you.”
Clyde huffed out a slightly breathless laugh. “I think I’m going to let you do whatever you want to me.” His fingers grazed up Aaron’s sides. “Hotel?”
Aaron kissed him once more, fierce and desperate, and only drew back when he ran out of breath. “Lead the way.” A thought came to him, and he felt his cheeks burn. “I’ll need to get condoms on the way.”
Clyde gave him an appraising look, then smiled. “I’ve got a few spare.”
“Well prepared,” Aaron murmured. He drew back to look his new friend over. “Were you a boy scout?”
Clyde laughed, a rich, warm sound that made Aaron’s heart skip a beat. “I’m afraid not, but I do look very good in a uniform.”
That image had Aaron’s mouth going bone dry. Clyde’s mouth curved up into a smirk. “Though right now I suspect you’d prefer it if I were wearing rather less.”
Aaron’s pants were really very uncomfortable. He laid his hand on the small of Clyde’s back, and smiled when Clyde shivered. “I believe your hotel was close by.”
Clyde shook himself, and grinned. “Come with me.”
Aaron didn’t do things like this. His first time had been with Haley, and they had waited nearly a year. He took relationships seriously, and even though it had been years since his marriage ended he hadn’t felt like getting involved with anyone since.
He didn’t go back to a hotel room with someone he had just met with the intention of fucking them until they couldn’t walk straight.
The hotel room itself was as impersonal as only a hotel room could be, but Aaron didn’t have time to take much in before Clyde crowded him against the wall and kissed him again. Aaron let him, fisting his hands in his hair, and pulling him close, and Clyde moaned into his mouth.
“I definitely picked the right bar,” he murmured. He drew back with flattering reluctance. “I’m being a bad host. Would you like anything?”
Aaron smiled. “You on your knees.”
Clyde barked out a startled laugh. “Oh, I can certainly manage that.”
His pupils had blown wide, and he shivered when Aaron tugged lightly at his hair. Aaron made a mental note, then let go and pulled off his jacket. Clyde followed suit, stripping off his leather jacket and unbuttoning his shirt, and Aaron turned to leave his gun under his folded clothes. He didn’t think anything would happen, but it was habit by now. He looked round again and his breath caught.
Clyde had turned his back too, and as he straightened the light fell across a dizzying number of long, deep scars. They stretched from his shoulders all the way down to vanish below the waistband of his underwear, and for a moment Aaron could only stare.
He had seen worse, but that was work. He expected it there. He didn’t expect the hot, funny guy he met in a bar to have experienced such a trauma.
But Clyde was clearly more than functional and it was none of Aaron’s business, and Aaron had cleared his throat by the time Clyde glanced round. His cocky smirk faltered, and Aaron saw more scars on his chest and abdomen before he folded his arms.
“It’s a cruel world.”
His tone was carefully light, but the tension in every line of his body burned like a neon light. Aaron stepped forward, and tilted his chin up. “Yes, it is,” he murmured. “Are there any positions you’d like me to avoid?”
He knew how some injuries never fully healed. Clyde’s eyes went very wide, and Aaron’s stomach tightened, but a moment later Clyde gave him a soft smile. “I do a lot of yoga. But thank you. For asking.”
“Of course,” said Aaron. He really didn’t like how surprised Clyde appeared to be that he had done so, but he couldn’t have done anything else. “Promise me you’ll tell me if I do anything you don’t like.”
Clyde blinked again, but nodded. “As long as you do too.”
Aaron rested one hand on what looked like shrapnel scars along his flank, and leaned in to kiss him. “I promise.”
He kept it gentle this time, and Clyde pressed against him with a soft him. Aaron very tentatively brought his other hand up to touch Clyde’s back, and though Clyde tensed he didn’t move away.
“That’s fine,” he murmured against Aaron’s lips. He shifted until his clothed erection brushed Aaron’s thigh. “But we’re still wearing too many clothes.”
Aaron shivered, and forced himself to step back. “We’d better do something about that.”
Clyde gave him a brilliant smile. He shucked off his underwear with no trace of hesitation, sighing as his half-hard erection sprang free, and Aaron threw his reserve to the winds and followed suit. Clyde licked his lips.
“Well, this is my lucky day.”
The last of Aaron’s self-consciousness evaporated in his startled laugh. Clyde tossed him a condom and took one for himself, and Aaron tried to ignore the way his hands shook when he rolled it on. Clyde cleared his throat, and Aaron looked up to find him watching carefully.
“Is everything all right?” Clyde asked.
Aaron hesitated, then nodded. “It’s been a little while,” he admitted. “My wife left me over a year ago, and I’ve been a bit busy for dating.”
Clyde’s expression softened, and he drew Aaron over to sit on the bed. “Forgive me for asking, but have you done this with a man before?”
Aaron’s cheeks burned, but there wasn’t a trace of wariness in Clyde’s body language, and the other man just smiled. “Don’t worry. Slow down if I tell you to, stop if I tell you too, and speak up the moment anything happens that you don’t like. Do that, and we’ll be fine.”
Aaron took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “Sorry. I… It really has been a while.”
“Then I’ll just have to make it good for you, won’t I?” He squeezed Aaron’s hand. “All right?”
His confidence was steadying, and the accent didn’t hurt at all. Aaron nodded, and Clyde smiled at him. “Then why don’t I help you relax a bit?”
With that he slid to his knees, and the sight of him kneeling there, pupils blown and cock still hard, eased Aaron’s nerves. He nodded again, and Clyde leaned forward and took him into his mouth.
Aaron’s hips bucked and he blushed even deeper, but it had been a very long time, and Clyde was very good, and he couldn’t help himself. Clyde’s mouth was warm and wet and felt so good, and Aaron couldn’t hold back a moan. His hands fisted in the sheets, then he started when Clyde took his hand and moved it to his hair. Aaron hesitated, and Clyde slid off him with a faint pop to smirk up at him.
“Go ahead,” he said. “I’ve always liked it rough.”
Aaron felt his cock twitch at that, and when Clyde swallowed him down again he couldn’t keep his hands from soft blond hair. Clyde hummed, and Aaron groaned as the vibrations set him spasming.
“God,” he gasped. “Your mouth…”
He could practically feel the satisfaction radiating from Clyde, and tugged tentatively at his hair, but Clyde just hummed again and took him even further into his mouth, and Aaron gasped.
“Fuck!”
He couldn’t think. It was all he could do not to come then and there. Clyde kept moving, licking and sucking in no discernible pattern but which was driving Aaron out of his mind, and Aaron was so close to giving in and fucking Clyde’s throat but they had other plans for the evening, and Aaron forced himself to pull Clyde back.
Clyde sucked in a shuddering breath, chest heaving, and grinned.
“Feeling better?”
His voice was slightly hoarse and it made his accent sound even hotter, and Aaron was so hard it hurt. “Oh yes,” he managed, and realised he wasn’t the only one affected by voices when Clyde shivered. “Now, I believe you said something about wanting to be bent over and fucked until you forgot your own name.”
Clyde’s breathing hitched. His pupils had blown so wide only a thin ring of blue showed, and Aaron pulled him up and captured his swollen lips in a fierce kiss. Clyde moaned and pressed against him, suddenly pliant for him, and Aaron kept a tight grip on his hair.
“I’m going to fuck you now.”
“Please do,” Clyde rasped. “Lube’s in the bedside table.”
Aaron squeezed the nape of his neck, and noted with the interest the way Clyde gasped. “Get on the bed.”
Clyde obeyed without a moment’s hesitation. Aaron grabbed the lube, and knelt on the bed next to him. “All right?”
“Oh, yes,” said Clyde. His mouth curved into a smirk. “And I’ll be even better once you get in me.”
Aaron’s dick twitched against his stomach. Clyde’s smirk widened, and Aaron let out a rather shaky breath. That accent was going to be the death of him. He laid his hand on the nape of Clyde’s neck, and felt him shiver.
“You’re going the right way for me to ruin you.”
Clyde’s eyes sparkled as they met his. “What are you going to do, Aaron?” he purred. “Spank me?”
“Maybe I should,” Aaron murmured. Clyde grinned, but Aaron touched his arm. “But not tonight. I don’t hurt people I’ve only just met.”
Clyde blinked, then his grin softened into a smile. “Fair enough. But on a second date?”
Aaron had to laugh. And kiss him again. “Perhaps.”
He shouldn’t even be thinking about a second date, but he had never met anyone like Clyde. Clyde looked even more surprised at that, and a faint blush touched his cheeks. “Really?”
Aaron stared at him, marvelling at how that could make him blush when sucking Aaron’s cock hadn’t, then cupped Clyde’s cheek and drew him into a deep, sensual kiss. Clyde melted into him, and Aaron pressed him down against the cushions.
“Really,” he said.
Clyde blushed even more deeply at that. “You don’t even know if I’m any good yet.”
Aaron couldn’t help frowning. “I’ve had a very good time so far.” Clyde looked away, and something twisted in Aaron’s stomach. He did not like the idea that Clyde thought he would only want a second date if he turned out to be good at sex, and he laid his hand on Clyde’s chest. “I would definitely like to see more of you.”
Clyde blinked up at him, eyes wide with surprise and somehow going even more pliant under Aaron’s hands, and Aaron traced his fingers along the line of Clyde’s muscles.
“But perhaps we should talk about that after I fuck you.”
Clyde grinned up at him, eyes wide and slightly glassy. “You’re full of good ideas.”
He rolled his hips as he spoke, and Aaron groaned at the sensation. It had been far too long. Clyde licked his lips. “Aaron-”
He broke off with a gasp when Aaron reached down to grip his cock. Aaron gave him a long, firm stroke, and relished in the way Clyde bucked against him. “You are very sensitive.”
A faint whine tore from Clyde’s throat. His hands fisted in the sheets, and he arched off the bed when Aaron continued to tease him. “Aaron…please…”
He was beautiful like this, spread out and flushed and desperate, and Aaron could easily spend hours taking him apart, but he was painfully hard and Clyde was no better, and they had both been waiting long enough.
“Get on your knees.”
“Finally,” Clyde groaned.
His arms shook as he positioned himself, and Aaron rested his hand on the small of his back. “Still all right?”
“Yes, but if you don’t get your dick in me soon…”
“You really do want me to spank you,” Aaron murmured, and smiled when Clyde laughed. “Tell me if I do anything you don’t like, or if you feel uncomfortable in any way.”
Clyde nodded, and Aaron squeezed his hip once more before reaching for the lube. He used more than he probably needed, but he had meant what he said before. He would not hurt Clyde.
Though as he spread Clyde’s cheeks he had to admit that he wouldn’t object at all to turning that ass bright red.
But that was for another time. Clyde hissed as Aaron circled his hole.
“If you want me to beg, I’m begging,” he gasped. “Please!”
“All right,” said Aaron gently. “I’ve got you.”
As he spoke he slipped his finger through the tight ring of muscle, and Clyde gasped. He pushed back, and Aaron laid his hand on his back again. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I can take more than one finger,” Clyde growled.
“I certainly hope so,” said Aaron. He leaned down until he could press a kiss to the back of Clyde’s neck. “But you’re making such lovely noises for me.”
Clyde’s breathing hitched, and he moaned when Aaron pressed in deeper. Aaron kissed him again. “I want to hear all the noises you can make.”
The back of his neck was turning bright red, but the moan that tore from his throat when Aaron eased in another finger was the loudest one yet. Aaron worked him open, listening to the whines and gasps that fell from his lips and watching Clyde desperately try to fuck himself on Aaron’s fingers, until Aaron finally found the spot he had been looking for and Clyde’s entire body jerked.
“Fuck, Aaron!”
“You like that?” Aaron asked. He stroked Clyde’s prostate again, and Clyde’s elbows buckled. “You like everything I’m doing to you?”
Clyde buried his face in his forearm. “No more,” he rasped. “Please.”
Aaron froze immediately. “Clyde? Are you all right?”
He withdrew his fingers, hoping with everything he had that he hadn’t gone too far, but Clyde raised his head to blink blearily up at him.
“Want to come on your cock.”
Relief washed over him, and Aaron sank back on his heels. “All right,” he said. “I can manage that.”
Clyde huffed out a shaky laugh, and rested his head on his arm again. “I should bloody well hope so.”
Aaron chuckled, and laid a hand on the small of his back. He could feel Clyde trembling, and as eager as he was he had to be sure. “Are you ready for me to continue?”
“If I beg you to get your dick in me will you believe me?”
Aaron leaned forward to kiss the nape of his neck, and smiled at the sharp intake of breath. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmured, “but yes, you’ve convinced me.”
Clyde whimpered, then drew in another hitching breath when Aaron finally eased into him. Aaron groaned himself at the tight heat, but paused when a fierce tremor wracked Clyde’s body.
“Clyde?”
“Fuck,” Clyde whispered. He let out a long breath. “‘s fine. Keep going.”
Aaron did so, but he took his time. He went slowly, letting Clyde adjust and paying close attention to his reactions, but before long Clyde was starting to thrust back against him, and Aaron groaned and gripped his hips.
“Okay?”
“Fuck yes, now please move!”
The desperation in his voice was enough to shatter the last threads of Aaron’s self-control. He rolled his hips, gently at first, then increasing his pace until he was punching breathy moans from Clyde’s lips with every thrust. Clyde continued to rock back, all snark lost in the sensation, and Aaron reached round to grip his throbbing cock.
“Are you going to come for me?”
He punctuated each word with a sharp thrust, and Clyde’s arms buckled. “Yes,” he gasped. “Please, Aaron!”
Aaron could feel his own orgasm building, and with the last shreds of concentration he gave Clyde two rough strokes. “Then come, Clyde.”
Clyde collapsed with a scream, and the clenching of his muscles sent Aaron hurtling over the edge. His vision went white, and he all but collapsed on top of Clyde.
It took Aaron a long minute to catch his breath. It had been far too long since he had last had sex. Eventually though the aftershocks faded and his heart started to slow, and Aaron eased himself back so he could drop down on the bed next to Clyde.
“Wow,” he managed.
Clyde gave a faint huff. He hadn’t moved, but Aaron could see him shaking and his concern spiked. He rolled over, and when Clyde didn’t protest, wrapped an arm around him.
“You were amazing,” he said softly.
Clyde froze for a split-second, then eased into his touch, and Aaron hugged him closer. It was hard to ignore the rough lines of scar tissue under his fingers, but Clyde still looked dazed and unsteady, and Aaron concentrated on rubbing gentle circles into his back. He kept up a steady stream of gentle reassurances, and gradually Clyde’s tremors eased.
“Sorry,” he mumbled.
Aaron blinked. “What are you apologising for?”
Clyde’s face was still buried in his chest, but Aaron saw his ears turn red. “Never mind,” he muttered. He took a deep breath, and looked up. “You are very good at that.”
Aaron’s own cheeks burned, but he managed to smile. “So are you.” He looked Clyde over. “Can I get you anything? Some water, food…?”
Clyde shook his head. He started to open his mouth, then checked himself, but even as Aaron started to frown he summoned the smirk that made Aaron’s cock twitch.
“I don’t know about you,” he said, “but I certainly wouldn’t mind doing this again.”
Aaron raised an eyebrow. “Tonight, or another day?”
“Yes.”
Aaron had to laugh. He cupped Clyde’s chin and drew him in for another kiss. Clyde pressed against him, moaning into his mouth and rolling his hips against Aaron’s, and Aaron had only just come but he was getting hard again, and he had never done this before but he would never regret it.
Aaron only drew back when he was out of breath. Clyde grinned up at him, eyes wide and slightly glassy, but after a moment his smile faded.
“You really want to see me again?”
There was something strangely uncertain in his voice that made Aaron’s chest ache, and he propped himself on one elbow to look at Clyde properly. “Well, let’s see. You’re very good company. You’re smart, and you make me laugh, and I think we both agree the sex was great. Why wouldn’t I want to see you again?”
A faint blush touched Clyde’s cheeks, but he held his gaze. “I travel a lot for work. I won’t be in town often.”
“That’s fine,” said Aaron gently. He hesitated, but Clyde deserved honesty now. “My own work is intense. It’s the main reason my marriage failed.”
And why he was still failing both Haley and Jack, but he couldn’t dwell on that now. Clyde’s eyes softened, and he nodded. “Then it’s fine with me.”
Aaron smiled. This probably wasn’t what Dave had intended when he told Aaron to get out and meet new people, but Aaron wouldn’t change it for the world. “Good,” he said. “I’ll leave you my number.”
Clyde smiled, a bright, genuine smile that made Aaron’s heart skip a beat. “Leaving already?” he drawled. “But you spent all this time opening me up, and I was rather hoping to ride you.”
It was already late, and Aaron had to be at Quantico early, but there was no way he was turning that offer down. Clyde must have seen something, for his smile widened. He sat up, and pushed Aaron onto his back to straddle him.
“And maybe next time I’m in town you can give me that spanking.”
Aaron smiled. “That will be something to look forward to.”
No, he definitely wasn’t going to regret this.