Work Text:
Riki’s body is warm next to Jungwon. They’re lying on Jungwon’s bed, side by side, close enough that their shoulders and hips are slightly brushing against each other. Lying on his stomach, his upper body propped up on his elbows, Jungwon scrolls through his phone, looking at the hundreds of photos in his camera roll.
At times he shows some photos to Riki, mainly the ones that has the two of them together in them. Riki’s smile sparks a light in Jungwon’s heart every time the younger smiles at the photos shown to him. The younger is lying in the same position, playing something slow paced on his phone.
They’re lightly entwining their legs with each other, Jungwon his right and Riki his left one. If someone was to enter the room, it would pass as completely innocent friend behavior, mindlessly hanging out, scrolling through their phones.
In reality, they’re enjoying each other’s close company, soundlessly taking in each other’s physical and emotional closeness. Jungwon’s heart quietly beats for the beautiful boy next to him.
They’re having a day off, all of them, all the members, the whole day. Some luxury right there. Few of the members are somewhere out and the rest had decided to just relax in the dorm. It’s relatively quiet in the house. It’s nice.
Jungwon and Riki’s quiet idling eventually comes to an end when Sunghoon suddenly walks up to the door of the room. The door is slightly ajar, and Sunghoon knocks on it twice before carefully entering the room. Which is really odd, considering the room is also Sunghoon’s room.
Jungwon immediately raises his gaze on the older, worry creeping in shortly after studying Sunghoon’s face for just for a few seconds. The older looks distressed and nervous. It might not be so evident for everyone else, but Jungwon knows his members.
“Sunghoon-hyung?” Jungwon asks carefully. Riki, who had not really noted Sunghoon’s presence, finally also lifts his eyes to the doorway where the oldest is standing.
“I- uhm- I was-”, Sunghoon hesitates, “I was wondering-, Jungwon, can I talk to you? About something..”, his eyes flicker to Riki and then back to Jungwon, “-alone?” he then adds quietly. He’s fidgeting with the hems of the long sleeves of his shirt.
Riki must also sense the atmosphere, because he’s already getting up from the bed when Jungwon starts answering, “Yes, of course”
Jungwon sits up on the bed as Riki is already off of it and making his way towards the door. Sunghoon offers the youngest a small, apologizing smile.
“I’ll just go bother Sunoo-hyung", Riki tells them and then slips out the door, carefully closing it behind himself, leaving Sunghoon and Jungwon alone in the room. Sunghoon somehow looks out of place in his own home, in his own room.
“Hyung, what’s wrong?” Jungwon asks, eyebrows furrowing at the sight of the older, still standing close to the door, like contemplating whether to just back out of it and pretend that nothing happened at all.
Sunghoon takes a last look at the door, before finally walking slow steps to reach Jungwon’s bed. The younger is now sitting on the edge of it and Sunghoon takes a seat next to him. Just leaving a rather polite distance between them. Jungwon can’t help but to study the way the older is acting. He lets Sunghoon make himself somewhat comfortable, before searching for an eye-contact again.
“There’s something I need to tell you” Sunghoon eventually manages to start again, “I.. It’s something that’s been on my mind for a long time now and I need to tell somebody...”
Jungwon nods, encouraging the older to continue. He can already see that this is something that’s weighing Sunghoon down. There’s an uncomfortable feeling growing in the pit of his stomach that he’s failed to realize before that there’s been something really bothering one of his members.
“And- and I need to tell you. Because you’re our leader, and this is something that could possibly affect the whole group in some ways. And I would never do anything behind your back.. ” Sunghoon continues, his voice kind of starting to fade out with every word, “And, and you.. And Jay...”
And then he just doesn’t continue anymore. And Jungwon really tries, but he is going to need a little more to understand. Jungwon? The whole group? Jungwon again? Jay? Jungwon and Jay?
They sit in silence for what feels like a long time, before Sunghoon whispers,
“I’m just scared that you’re going to hate me after this”
Jungwon feels a sting in his heart, “I would never. Whatever it is, hyung, you can tell me. I would never hate you”, Jungwon says, emphasizing every word. Sunghoon would have to do something truly bad to make the younger hate him.
Sunghoon still isn’t able to get it out. He’s distressed and uncomfortable. He looks so troubled it might just break Jungwon’s heart.
“Sunghoon-hyung, what is it?” Jungwon is starting to panic soon. He takes a hold of the older’s wrist, in case Sunghoon suddenly decides to try to make a run for it but also for some sort of touch contact comfort, “What could possibly be this bad?”
“It’s-, I-, I’ve had these feelings for some time now, but, you know, you and Jay, you’re like...” Sunghoon really tries, “If he ever- it surely is you, but I still don’t know how to stop feeling this way, about him..”
Oh.
Oh.
All of it suddenly makes sense to Jungwon. He recognizes this behavior. He recognizes the whirlwind Sunghoon’s feelings are in. He recognizes the confusion and the gnawing uncertainty, and the societal pressure, and the sense and emotions on different sides of the same scale, and the suffocating feeling both in good and in bad way. He’s been there before himself.
Sunghoon is in love with his friend and group member. Sunghoon is in love with Jay.
And then a second later, another thing dawns to Jungwon. How Sunghoon needed to tell this specifically to Jungwon, how he said he wouldn’t go behind Jungwon’s back, how hard it is to get the words out, how distressed and embarrassed he is, how he keeps mentioning Jungwon whenever it comes to Jay. And everyone knows just how close Jay and Jungwon are-
“Oh my God”, Jungwon whispers.
Sunghoon thinks Jungwon and Jay are in love.
And the crazy part is, that it’s not even so crazy that he thinks so. Jungwon is very affectionate with Jay. It’s easy to be when they’re so close and when there is absolutely nothing to hide. They’re best friends and that’s it. While with Riki, Jungwon has a whole lot to hide.
Mix that with Sunghoon’s feelings for Jay and the huge misunderstanding and you’ve got yourself a nice soup of unnecessary distress.
Jungwon lets go of Sunghoon’s wrist and lifts his hand over his mouth, “Sunghoon-hyung, I feel so bad”, he whispers in slight desperation.
Because a lot of this could have been avoided. If he and Riki just had been honest and not so damn good at hiding everything. Sunghoon wouldn’t have had any reasons to think Jay and Jungwon are anything more than friends and he wouldn’t have had to battle with his feelings for Jay and his loyalty to Jungwon and all the other things involved in the matter.
But Sunghoon takes it completely the wrong way. Of course he does, Jungwon just set them straight up for that. Sunghoon’s face twists in absolute shame.
Jungwon panics, “No. No no no!” he again grasps a hold of the older in order to stop him from contemplating running away, “I don’t like Jay-hyung! Riki and I are together!”
Sunghoon stops with everything, casting a very confused look on Jungwon, “Huh?”
“Me, and Riki”, Jungwon takes a breath, “we are together. In a relationship. Riki is my boyfriend”
A lot of different variations of confusion and surprise flicker over Sunghoon’s features. Jungwon has yet to release the breath as he waits for Sunghoon to say something. The older turns his face away for a moment, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he’s slowly trying to make sense of the situation in his head. Eventually he turns his gaze back to Jungwon, his expression calmed back to a much more neutral.
“I did not see this coming”
They stare at each other for a while, until Jungwon eventually lets out a choked-up laughter. Sunghoon’s eyes and lips melt into a smile, a surprised, but a very genuine one. There’s a lot of questions in his eyes, though.
Before the older gets the chance to make this about Riki and Jungwon and not the actual reason why they’re here in the first place, Jungwon quickly opens his mouth, “So, yeah, um, Jay-hyung and I are definitely just friends, nothing more”
Sunghoon turns his eyes away again, pink starting to dust his cheeks as he nods slowly, not necessarily completely happy that they’re back on that subject.
“You like him”, Jungwon whispers then, finally marveling it out loud, “Are you going to tell him?”
“What? No! I don’t know?” Sunghoon sits up straight, “I never really got that far in my plans. I guess- I guess I just only got to the point that I needed to confront myself and you about this? Does that even make sense? That I had to tell you out of all people?”
“I think it does”, Jungwon says, smiling softly, “Hyung, you’re really brave. Coming straight to me even though you thought I might already be involved with Jay-hyung. I don’t know if that would make sense to other people, but it does to me. This type of transparency and trust in our friendship is what makes and keeps it strong”, he reaches to take Sunghoon’s hand in his.
“You’re the bravest person I know, hyung”
Jungwon thought about that of Sunghoon already years ago when first learning about the older’s background and how he had left everything behind in order to become an idol, and still to this day, he proves himself every day.
“I think you should tell him”, he then says quietly, but with power in his voice. Sunghoon lifts his unsure eyes to look at him.
“Are you sure he doesn’t like you like that?” Sunghoon then asks, “Cause just because you don’t like him like that, doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t see you in that way?”
“Yeah, you’re right, but I’m pretty sure about this one. Jay-hyung and I, we’re not like that. It’s- we don’t really talk about these things, but I think he would if there was something. I don’t know how to explain it to you, but I just know he doesn’t see me like that, not even with how close we are to each other”
Sunghoon nods slowly, clearly not having enough to say in order to say anything at all just yet.
“And hyung, I don’t know if he loves you the way you want him to, but I do know that he loves you so much. And if you decide that you do want to tell him, no matter what the outcome is, I think that is enough to pull you both through it”
Sunghoon’s head hangs a little low, his bangs covering his eyes as he soundlessly listens to Jungwon, slightly fiddling with his fingers.
“And.. Whatever happens, it’s not going to be easy. Trust me, hyung, I know”, at that, the older looks back up at Jungwon,
“It’s not easy”, Jungwon says with the utmost honesty, “But my God, can it be worth it”, he then whispers, his face blooming into a loving smile. Sunghoon meets Jungwon’s eyes again, a ghost of a careful smile raising to his lips at the sight of the younger’s unabashed feelings written over his features.
Then suddenly, the moment breaks, without a warning, as there’s a knock on the door.
Jungwon and Sunghoon both startle a bit, just about recovering from it as the door starts opening. Riki’s head appears from the crack of the door. The youngest gives them an apologetic smile.
“I’m sorry”, he whispers, like the quiet tone would somehow diminish the disruption of the situation he’s walked in on, “I just need to get few of my belongings. Sunoo-hyung and I are going out to eat and stuff”, Riki explains and quickly walks up to his things in the room. Sunghoon and Jungwon both nod.
Jungwon’s eyes involuntarily follow the movements of his boyfriend. Sunghoon’s eyes flicker between the two maknaes.
“It actually makes so much sense”, Sunghoon then suddenly says when Riki is already heading back to the door, “you two”
It’s an observation. Or an opinion. Riki halts in his steps.
The youngest of them turns to look at Jungwon, eyes wide and eyebrows on the roof, “You told him?”
He’s not mad, not at all, just surprised. They’ve both known since the beginning that at some point they need to reveal it to the members. Riki had recently suggested that maybe they should start by telling Heeseung and then see how it goes from there. That idea was obviously discarded a few moments back, but Jungwon can’t exactly yet tell Riki why that is and why he had suddenly told Sunghoon. It’s not his place to reveal anything about what Sunghoon had just confided him in with.
“Yeah, I, um-”, Jungwon starts.
“I guessed it!” Sunghoon suddenly exclaims, “Obviously Jungwonie couldn’t lie to me”, it’s a thin, white lie, there to protect something Sunghoon isn’t ready to share with any more people yet.
“Oh”, Riki says with surprise, “I thought we were really careful”
“You were. You are. It’s was just- something..” Sunghoon kind of thrifts off, and lucky for him, Riki doesn’t press it. The youngest is in bit of a haze, obviously not having prepared himself for someone suddenly knowing.
“Are you- are you ok with it?” Riki then asks, nervousness creeping in the edges of the words. Sunghoon immediately jumps up from the bed, his feet leading him to the youngest. He engulfs Riki into a hug.
“Of course! I’m so happy for you guys”, the oldest says, squeezing the life out of Riki. Riki lets out a relieved laugh, hugging the older back, worry melting off from his body, “Thanks, hyung”
Riki smiles at him, when Sunghoon finally lets go of him. The oldest takes a step back, and Riki suddenly turns to walk over to Jungwon.
Riki crouches down a bit, leaning to leave the peck on the corner of Jungwon’s lips.
Because, suddenly, in this particular company, he can.
“I’ll see you later”, he says quietly. Then he turns on his heels, bids bye byes to Sunghoon too, and exits the room. Sunghoon had turned his eyes a bit to side, as in not to intrude the tiny moment the two youngest just shared.
A shy smile dances on Jungwon’s lips. It turns a little awkward when he and Sunghoon meet eyes again. But Sunghoon assures him with a small, happy smile. They’re silent for a moment, before Sunghoon opens his mouth again.
“I now know he’s your boyfriend and you guys probably share everything, but can you not tell him? At least for now, while I’m still trying to decide what to do”, Sunghoon asks carefully, his voice small.
“Sunghoon-hyung, don’t be an idiot. Of course I won’t tell him before you’re ready” Jungwon gives him an unimpressed look, “Have a little faith in me”
Sunghoon’s expression softens, “I have. A lot. Thank you, Jungwonie. For.. All of this”
Jungwon jumps to his feet and goes to give Sunghoon a hug, “Take your time, hyung. It’s all going to be just fine”
Sunghoon hums against Jungwon’s shoulder.
When they break apart, the older then asks, “How did you guys go about it? Confessing and such?”
“Well, I didn’t, not really. Riki did, he confessed first”, Jungwon admits to him, “So maybe you should have had this conversation with him in the first place..“, he then lets out a small laugh. Sunghoon shakes his head a little and smiles.
“I think you would have, eventually, if Riki didn’t”
Jungwon smiles, “Maybe”
~~~~~
Some days pass by. Jungwon keeps an eye on Sunghoon, little closer than usually. Making sure that the older is doing good and won’t suddenly start spiraling under the weight of his feelings and the talk he and Jungwon had.
Luckily, he seems to be doing relatively fine. Either that or he also has suddenly mastered the art of deception and hiding. Jungwon hopes not.
It's just one of those very regular evenings. Heeseung, Riki, Sunoo and Jungwon had arrived back to the dorm just a moment ago, while Jake, Jay and Sunghoon still stayed back at the company to finish up practice or something.
Sunoo had hijacked the shower all to himself immediately, leaving the rest three to wait for their turns. Heeseung had disappeared to his room, much like Jungwon and Riki to their one to discard all their stuff in where it belongs.
Jungwon is going through a pile of his clothes when his phone suddenly rings, noting him of a new text message. He fishes the phone from the bottom of his pocket and unlocks it.
It's a message from Sunghoon. There’s a photo added.
It’s a photo of Sunghoon and Jay, a selfie, taken probably in a dimly lit practice room. It’s a bit unfocused and jolted. Sunghoon looks at the camera with joy and laughter in his face and Jay is pressing a kiss on his cheek.
It went pretty well. Thanks, Jungwonie~ xx
Jungwon screams. He jumps up and down, squealing in happiness like a little girl and hugging his phone. He’s so happy for Sunghoon. And for Jay.
Riki, the only other person in the room, in turn looks like he just had a small heart attack from the sudden scream piercing through the silence.
“What is going on?” the younger asks in shock. Jungwon jumps up to him, hugging him for a second.
Sunghoon had at some point promised that if Jay suddenly did love him back, Jungwon could then tell the whole story to Riki.
“Hyung what happened?” Riki asks again only after about two seconds of not getting an answer.
“Sunghoon-hyung and Jay-hyung are in love!“
“What?”