Chapter Text
The first time Charlie sees Nick is in a crowded gay bar at the end of a very trying week.
Working two jobs fresh out of university was never Charlie’s plan. He thought, and had been told, that getting a degree was supposed to ensure stability in his life– but since leaving university, his life has become more unstable than ever. He works part time as a barista in a local coffee shop, not being paid nearly enough to deal with cranky customers before they’ve had their caffeine. He also works as a freelance writer for any publication that will take him– he loves writing, but the stress of freelancing certainly gets to him sometimes.
It’s January now, and he’s back in his flat with Tao and Elle after the stress of seeing his family for the holidays. Charlie made the mistake of mentioning to his mother that his hectic work schedule sometimes makes it difficult for him to keep to a proper eating schedule. He’s struggled with an eating disorder for years, and when his OCD flares with additional stress and anxiety, it often manifests in him restricting food. Despite his struggles, he largely has his eating disorder under control these days– thanks to years of therapy.
Jane Spring, Charlie’s mother, does not seem to believe that Charlie has his life under control. Ever since his slip up over the holidays, she’s been texting him daily to make sure he’s eating properly. What she doesn’t understand is that his obsession over food and eating is what landed Charlie in hospital during secondary school, and getting daily texts about his eating habits only exacerbates his compulsive behaviours.
So, here he is– at a gay bar, alone, on a Friday night. Charlie’s hoping that the one shot he already downed is enough to lower his inhibitions and help him shed the stress of the week he’s had.
Really, he’s looking to pull tonight. It’s why he came out on his own. His best friend, Tao, doesn’t exactly approve of Charlie hooking up with strangers– he calls it ‘self-destructive behaviour’. So does Charlie’s therapist, Geoff– but Charlie thinks it’s a bit of fun. He doesn’t want a relationship– he’s not cut-out to love and be loved if his past relationships are anything to go by. But sex makes sense to him; there doesn’t have to be feelings, or– god forbid– love involved to get off.
Charlie’s eye catches on the blond stranger at the bar who’s chatting easily to the bartender, and he seems to be on his own. The man is offensively attractive, and Charlie is shocked to see that he’s alone at the bar– usually there would be a queue of men waiting to chat up someone like him.
He’s tall and broad with an athletic build, and Charlie’s eyes trace down from his shoulders, past his muscled arse, down to thick thighs that have his mouth watering. In a split second, Charlie makes the decision to approach him.
Fuck it.
“Hi,” Charlie greets the man as he slides in next to him at the bar. It’s not much of a line, or really a line at all, but it seems to get the job done.
“Hi.” The stranger greets him with a light flush blooming over the high points of his face, and contrasting beautifully against his freckles. And fuck , Charlie could melt. Of course he has freckles .
“I’m Charlie,” he introduces himself confidently. “Can I buy you a drink?”
The stranger holds up his full drink and flashes him an easy smile. “No, but I can buy you one.” Without a moment of hesitation, he flags down the bartender and pays for Charlie’s vodka soda. “I’m Nick, by the way.”
Charlie accepts the drink, and they move away from the bar to free up space for other people. It’s loud, and Charlie makes a point of leaning in to talk close to Nick’s ear– so close that he can feel the heat radiating off of Nick’s body.
“Come here often?” Charlie asks, teasingly, to break the ice.
Nick laughs and shakes his head. “Honestly, I don’t. Just fancied a drink tonight.”
Charlie raises an eyebrow at this. “You could get a drink anywhere, a quiet pub maybe? Why here?”
Nick shrugs. “Maybe, I was on the hunt for a bit of company as well.”
Charlie can certainly be a bit of company.
They talk about their work and their hobbies, pressed close together to hear over the music and the noise of other patrons. Nick tells Charlie that he teaches primary school, and Charlie tells him about the stress of serving coffee and being self-employed. Nick also shares that he’s in a local rugby league and played throughout university.
“You know, I played rugby in secondary,” Charlie confesses and Nick bursts out laughing. “Oh, fuck off,” Charlie grumbles, good-naturedly. Due to his slim stature and lack of any musculature, he’s used to a reaction when he tells people about his brief stint as a rugby player.
Nick smiles at him and reaches out to run his hand across Charlie's shoulder and down his arm– Charlie shivers. “Sorry, you just don’t see many rugby players that look like you.”
“What? Skinny, gay nerds?” Charlie asks, eyebrow raised and Nick splutters.
“No! No, I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant-”
“Nick! I’m messing with you– I know I don’t exactly have a rugby player build. Truth is, I was a reserve and I think I only made it on the pitch for a game once.” Nick relaxes at Charlie’s reassurances, though he can still see a trace of blush on his cheekbones. “And it makes sense you play rugby, you’re such a- lad .”
Nick squawks, indignant at that. “I am not a lad! I teach seven year olds how to spell for a living!”
“Okay, maybe not a complete lad,” Charlie concedes. “I don’t think many rugby lads are spending their Friday night’s alone in a gay bar.”
Nick presses close to Charlie at that, hip to hip. “Well, I’m not alone anymore am I?”
And then Charlie finally works up enough courage to ask the question he’s been building up to all night.
“Want to get out of here?”
Nick swallows hard– he looks properly nervous at the prospect which confuses Charlie, considering they’ve been flirting all night. But Nick eventually nods, and so Charlie takes his hand and pulls him out of the bar. “My flatmates might be home, but they definitely won’t bother us. We just have to keep it down.”
“No! No, we can go back to mine. I have the place to myself tonight,” Nick tells him hurriedly. “It’s only a fifteen minute walk, if that's okay?”
Charlie agrees and quickly shoots off a text to his group chat with Tao and Elle, letting them know he won’t be home tonight, and makes sure to share his location with them as well. Nick seems harmless to him, and appears quite sweet, but he’d rather be safe than sorry.
The cool night air is a sharp contrast to the muggy interior of the bar, and Charlie shivers a bit as they walk. He feels loose and relaxed from drinking, and presses into Nick’s side as they walk. “Do you live alone?” Charlie asks to break the silence.
“Ah- no, I have two flatmates, but they’re both gone for the weekend.”
Charlie grins, the prospect of having the flat to themselves is certainly enticing for what Charlie has planned.
-
Nick lets them into his flat and kicks his shoes off in the entryway, so Charlie follows suit, trailing after Nick into the kitchen.
“Erm- can I- can I get you something to drink?” Nick asks, and Charlie can see the blush that has spread from the tops of his cheeks, down under his collar.
Charlie leans against the counter and reaches out to grab Nick by front of his shirt, pulling him closer. “I don’t want a drink, Nick.”
And then Nick is kissing him. His mouth is slick and hot, sliding against Charlie’s. Now that he’s kissed Nick, Charlie wonders why they didnt do this sooner. Nick kisses him insistently, needily, crowding him against the counter and digging his fingertips into his hips pulling him closer, closer.
The counter digs into Charlie’s lower back, but all his senses are overwhelmed with Nick . He tastes like bitter alcohol and a hint of citrus, and he’s delicious and just as intoxicating as the vodka sodas that Charlie was drinking earlier. Nick's hands are massive and singe Charlie’s skin where they pull him close, hips against hips, and Charlie makes a needy sound in the back of his throat that he might be embarrassed of if his entire psyche wasn’t wrapped up in Nick.
Charlie slides his own hands into Nick’s hair– it’s soft when he breaks the slight gel cast that was keeping it in place. The groan Charlie receives in response is delicious.
Nick pulls himself away from Charlie’s lips, catching his breath. His hair is sticking up in every direction when he asks, “Want to see my bedroom?”
Charlie laughs and nods, taking Nick’s hand. “God, please show me your bedroom.”
They stumble through the hall and into Nick’s room. It’s a decent size with a double bed tucked into one corner and a wardrobe and desk fitting into the space as well. His desk is a bit cluttered and his bed is sloppily made, with pillows strewn about.
“Weren’t expecting company?” Charlie asks cheekily, grinning at Nick.
“Fuck off, it’s plenty clean.” And then Charlie is being laid out against the pillows and pressed into the mattress by Nick as he straddles his hips. Charlie skates his hands across the thick, muscular thighs on either side of his hips. He grabs the hem of Nick’s jumper and pulls at it, his voice hoarse with desire when he whispers, “Take this off.”
And Nick does. Charlie’s throat goes dry at the sight of his bare chest– he has a dusting of light hair, and his nipples are pink and peaked. Nick’s stomach is muscled, but not defined, and Charlie can’t help but run his hand over his chest and stomach, down to the trail of hair leading into Nick’s trousers.
“Oh my god, you’re so fucking fit,” Charlie blurts out as he drags his hands back over Nick’s torso. At this point, his filter is completely broken and he actually can’t believe he’s somehow ended up in bed with the most attractive man he’s ever seen.
Nick laughs out loud at that. “Am I?” He asks it so earnestly that Charlie believes that Nick actually doesn’t know just how attractive he really is.
“You are, you really are.”
Charlie drags Nick back down to kiss him, and he lets himself be led. Nick kisses him hard and he slides his hands up Charlie’s shirt and over his bare waist. “Can I?” he asks breathlessly and Charlie nods.
Charlie’s never been very confident about the way his body looks. Thanks to years spent restricting food, he always thought he was too thin. He’s sharp where Nick is soft and bony where Nick is muscular, but Nick makes him feel so at ease with his easy smiles and his good natured humour. It’s never been like this with a hook-up. Usually, Charlie fucks in dark rooms or quick and messy escapades where it isn’t so strange that he didn’t get all his clothes off. For some reason, he doesn’t mind Nick seeing him like this.
Once Nick has Charlie’s shirt off, he presses hot, open-mouthed kisses down Charlie’s chest. Nick laves Charlie’s nipples with his tongue, sucking lightly and then blowing cool air over them to see the way they pebble. Charlie keens and presses his hips forward, searching for friction.
Nick works his way down to Charlie's stomach, but falters when he starts to reach for the button of his trousers. Nick sits up, breath coming out in pants. “I’ve never-” Nick breathes out.
“You’ve never had sex?” Charlie asks, eyes wide. There’s nothing wrong if he hasn’t– Charlie firmly believes that virginity is a construct, and he’s had enough lectures from Elle on the topic to know better. But the way that Nick kissed him certainly didn’t make Charlie believe that he was inexperienced. And well, here Nick is, shirtless between his legs– it seems like he knows what he’s doing.
“No, I have had sex,” Nick tells him, though he still sounds unsure. “Just- I’ve never had sex with a bloke.”
And- oh. Charlie gets it now– Nick’s nerves when Charlie had asked to leave the bar and his shyness when Charlie had first approached him. He’s inexperienced, at least with men, which might be a turn off to some– but Nick is so eager. Charlie’s never felt so desired by anyone else.
“We don’t have to have sex, Nick,” Charlie assures. “We don’t have to do anything.”
“No- no, I really want to. Fuck, Charlie, look at you.” Charlie can’t help the heat that spreads across his own cheeks. Usually, the men he sleeps with aren’t so complimentary.
And honestly, Charlie is sort of gagging for it at this point. He wasn’t lying when he thought that Nick was the most attractive man he’s ever seen, and they’ve made it this far. “Okay, well I could- I could teach you? We don’t have to have penetrative sex, but I could show you how to use your hands or- well, or your mouth.”
Nick bites his lip and then whispers, “I really want to suck you off, Charlie.”
Charlie’s cock jumps at that– he doesn’t think he’s ever been so hard before. And Nick is on top of him, so beautiful and eager for him that all Charlie can do is unbutton his own trousers and slide them down his thighs.
Nick nods and slips between Charlie’s thighs, sinking down to press hot kisses to his hips. Surely, sucking bruises into them that will take days to fade. And then, he’s mouthing over Charlie’s pants where his prick is hard and leaking against the fabric and Charlie keens. He can’t look away.
“You can take my pants off,” Charlie whispers, and Nick does as he’s told. Charlie’s cock is achingly hard; he’s quite sure all of the blood in his body is in his prick right now.
“What do I do now?” Nick asks. Charlie props himself on his elbows so that he can see him clearly– there’s no way he’s going to miss a moment of this.
“You can grab it by the base and stroke it a few times? Spit on it a bit, get me nice and wet.”
And then Nick is moaning, actually moaning, as he spits on Charlie’s prick, gripping the base and stroking him a few times.
“Fuck- yes, Nick. If you want, you can use your tongue. Maybe on the tip?” Charlie is panting now, instructing Nick through barely controlled moans.
Nick takes instruction beautifully, and suddenly, his tongue is lapping at the tip of Charlie’s prick, wet where precome has dribbled out. Charlie moans, “Yeah, like that- fuck, you’re so good.”
He’s consumed by Nick’s ministrations, and it takes a moment for Charlie to regain his senses and remember he’s supposed to be directing Nick. “You can take it in your mouth and suck a bit- just be careful of your teeth.”
Nick’s hot, silky mouth envelopes the tip of Charlie’s cock. As Nick moans around him,Charlie swears his entire body reverberates with it. Nick looks so pretty, looking up at him with big, brown eyes and his mouth stretched over Charlie’s cock.
It turns out that Nick is a fast learner, and what he lacks in skill and experience, he makes up for in enthusiasm. Nick’s hips are pressing into the mattress as he sucks Charlie off and he’s moaning around Charlie’s cock– Charlie has never seen something so sinful. He involuntarily jerks his hips at the sight and accidentally hits the back of Nick’s throat with his cock.
Nick gags a bit and pulls off Charlie's cock, a string of spit trailing from his red, puffy lips to Charlie’s prick and he looks so utterly debauched that Charlie could come right there. “Fuck, sorry,” Charlie apologises, breathless.
“Don’t think I’m that advanced yet.” Nick is so coy that Charlie laughs.
“Honestly, I’m about to come and you probably don’t want me to do that in your mouth. If you just use your hand I can finish-”
Nick shakes his head and leans down lick a stripe from the base of Charlie’s cock to the tip. “Want to taste you.”
And then, it doesn’t take long for Charlie to come, Nick’s name on his lips. Nick does his best to swallow, but when he pulls off a bit of come dribbles past his lips. “ Fuck , Nick. You’re so good, you did so good. “C’mere, I want to kiss you.”
Charlie pulls Nick close as they kiss, and he licks into his mouth. He can taste the bitterness of his own come and the traces of alcohol and citrus from earlier. Charlie’s hands migrate to Nick’s waistband and pop the button on his trousers. “Want to get you off, now,” Charlie tells him, and Nick pulls away, biting his lip.
“I sort of- well, I sort of finished,” Nick confesses. Charlie looks at him, stunned. He had never been with a man that could get off at the mere act of making him come– in fact, most of the men Charlie had been with were far more concerned with their own satisfaction than Charlie’s. Like he was a means to an end instead of a sexual partner to reach mutual gratification with.
Nick goes bright red. “God, sorry- that’s so embarrassing. It’s just- The noises you were making and- and the friction from the mattress- I promise I don’t usually come that fast! I swear I can last-”
“Nick!” Charlie cuts him off, gently taking Nick’s face in his hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel weird. I don’t think it’s embarrassing at all. I think it’s really, really hot.”
“Really? I came in my pants like a randy teenager-”
Charlie laughs as Nick slumps down in the bed next to him. “ Don’t worry, you were great.”
“Yeah? I was sort of nervous.” Nick confesses and he reaches over to trace his finger over Charlie’s chest.
Charlie shivers at the touch and looks over at Nick. “Natural born cocksucker, you are.”
Nick gives a full-bodied laugh. “Think I can put that on my CV? Can I use you as a reference?”
“Don’t you work with children?”
“Oh god, you’re right. Forget I ever said that.”
Charlie giggles and lets Nick kiss the laugh right out of his mouth.
Eventually, Nick gets out of bed to change into some clean boxers, and Charlie pulls his own pants back on as he lays back against the pillows.
Charlie means to get up and get dressed and call an Uber and spend the night alone in his bed– but Nick comes back, shutting the light off on his way, and suddenly they’re kissing again. Nick is so warm and Charlie is so tired that he nods off easily between lazy kisses and gentle touches.
-
The press of something stiff into his lower back is the first thing that registers in Charlie’s awareness when he wakes up the next morning. Somehow, Charlie has ended up as the little spoon, with Nick’s arms draped over his waist and his morning wood nudging him awake.
Charlie knows he should get up and go home- he’s definitely stayed past his welcome at this point. On the other hand, he didn’t even get to see Nick’s cock last night, let alone get his mouth on it like he planned. “Nick.” Charlie rotates in his arms and prods gently at his chest.
“Nick,” Charlie whispers again, and Nick groans in response.
“Mmm- what? It’s early.”
Charlie presses his lips to Nick’s neck, under his ear. “Too early for a blowjob?”
Nick cracks his eyes open at that. “I didn’t say that.”
Charlie laughs and gently pushes Nick onto his back, kissing across his chest. He gets his mouth on Nick’s pink nipples, kissing and sucking on them till they’re each hard and pebbled– and then, he works his way down to Nick’s stomach and his hips, lightly nipping at them as Nick groans.
“ Fuck- Charlie.” Nick threads his fingers through his unruly curls as he juts his hips forward, searching for friction.
Charlie pulls Nick’s boxers off his hips and his cock springs free, slapping up against his stomach. It’s achingly hard and red with arousal, dripping precome at the tip. Charlie’s mouth is watering at the sight of it.
Charlie really likes to suck cock. He’s good at it, and he likes the weight of a hard prick on his tongue, knowing he’s the one that made it hard.
It’s even better with Nick. He’s so vocal as Charlie licks him from base to tip and sucks at the head of his cock to taste the slightly bitter precome. Charlie grips the base of Nick’s cock and rubs the tip over his lips, getting them messy with spit and precome. “You’ve such a pretty cock, Nick.”
Nick moans, his hips jerking as Charlie takes him into his mouth, bobbing his head and stroking at the base. “Fuck, Charlie. Fuck.”
It’s not long before Nick is coming in Charlie’s mouth, hot and desperate as he moans Charlie’s name.
-
When Nick is sated with orgasm, Charlie rises from the bed and starts putting his clothes back on. Nick sits up on his elbows and watches behind tired eyes.
“You don’t have to rush out of here, Charlie. My roommates aren’t due back until tomorrow. I can make you breakfast? Or some tea or coffee, at least?” Nick looks at Charlie with those puppy-dog brown eyes that he knows could probably convince him to do anything if he lets himself look too long.
Charlie uses all his resolve to shake his head no. This is just a hookup, that’s all it ever was, and it’s all it ever can be. Charlie doesn't want to date, he’s not looking for anything more than casual, and he knows if he stays any longer, he’s going to convince himself that Nick is something he can actually have.
But he knows the truth. He’s not cut out for anything more than a casual hookup, and he doesn’t want all the complications that love and romance entail.
So instead, he gets dressed, and he makes the twenty minute walk back to his flat in last night’s clothes. He doesn’t kiss Nick one last time, and he doesn’t get his number or even his last name so he can stalk him on social media.
-
It’s still early in the morning when Charlie finally gets back to his flat. He fumbles with his key at the door for a couple of minutes before he finally lets himself in to see Tao and Elle in the kitchen. Elle is sitting on the kitchen counter with a bowl of cereal in her hands, and Tao is leaning on the counter across from her with his own bowl.
“Did you just sit there and listen to me struggle with my key for five minutes?” Charlie asks, exasperated when he sees them there waiting for him
Tao shrugs. “We didn’t want to interrupt your walk of shame.”
Elle tuts at him and gently kicks him in the side. “Sex is not shameful, Tao. It definitely wasn’t shameful when we did it twice last night.”
Charlie groans at that– it’s moments like this that Charlie regrets agreeing to live with a couple, even though it lowers his rent compared to a single flatmate. Although, it does give him a bit of satisfaction that Tao’s face is flaming. “You guys are disgusting.”
“Do we all have to share so much with each other?” Tao asks, slumping back against the counter.
Elle shrugs. “You’re the one nagging Charlie about his sex life.”
“I do not nag!” Tao squawks. Elle gives him a look and he shrugs. “Okay, well, maybe I nag a bit. I just don’t think hooking up with random men is safe or particularly healthy!”
Charlie rolls his eyes. He’s heard this speech several times at this point.
“I just don’t think it makes you happy, Charlie. You could meet a nice guy who you could actually have a relationship with.” Tao is sincere, and Charlie knows he’s only saying this because he cares about him. It’s still not a conversation he wants to have right now.
“Look, I’m perfectly happy with casual sex! Not everyone can meet the love of their life on the first day of uni like you two!” Charlie is exasperated and Tao and Elle share a guilty look at this. “I’m going to my bedroom.”
Charlie slumps on top of his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He knows he needs a shower, but can’t really bring himself to move. Tao and Elle both mean well, but they don’t really understand what it’s like for Charlie.
Tao and Elle met on Charlie and Tao’s first day of university. Elle was a year older than them and was already a presence on campus, ever the social butterfly. She approached Charlie and Tao to give them a flyer for the first LGBTQ society meeting. It was a sort of love-at-first sight situation, and Tao and Elle quickly became TaoandElle and have been inseparable since.
Charlie had met someone too during that first week of uni, at the LGBTQ society meeting. A boy named Ben, who smiled at Charlie and made him feel like he was the only person in the room. Charlie had been lovestruck right away and, at the beginning, everything was perfect.
Ben was attentive and kind. It was the first time Charlie had ever experienced romance. He had been the only openly gay person in his secondary school, so Charlie had entirely missed out on the rituals of teen dating. Ben was his first boyfriend, and he seemed like everything Charlie could have wanted.
At first, he didn’t notice when Ben became more controlling. He would ask Charlie simple questions– where he had been and who he had been hanging out with– which seemed like harmless curiosity. Then, Ben started to restrict who Charlie was allowed to spend time with and criticising everything Charlie did: the way he dressed, the classes he took, the people he spent time with, the way he spoke. Everything . It seemed like Ben knew every trick to get under Charlie’s skin, and he used them to keep Charlie small and to make him feel like Ben was the only person who could love him.
This went on for entirely too long. For two years, Charlie was beyond stressed, walking on eggshells for fear of upsetting Ben. He finally worked up the courage to end things when he caught Ben kissing a girl from one of his classes. It took Charlie even longer to confess to his friends the extent to which Ben had hurt him.
The damage was already done.
He knows Tao does what he does because he cares, and he’s been protective of Charlie throughout their entire friendship. He’s seen Charlie through some of the darkest moments of his life: being outed in year 10, being hospitalised for his eating disorder, and his disaster of a ‘relationship’ with Ben.
But Charlie’s an adult that can make his own decisions. He knows what he’s doing– and besides, having sex with Nick was just that. Nothing deeper.