Chapter Text
Shinji ignored the unpleasant feeling of sweat clinging to his collar and kept running forward, not wanting to lose even a second if he could help it. Though he wasn’t the religious type, he still found himself praying that everything was okay—or, at the very least, that it would be. It didn’t help, not when he could still hear Misato’s frantic summons ringing in his ears.
“Nagisa-kun is in trouble. Please, Shinji-kun, you must head over here as soon as you can.”
He was still clutching his phone as he ran. He hadn’t even taken the time to put it away in his pocket before he leapt into action. How could he when his lover was in a bind, one he wasn’t even aware of until a few minutes ago? It had been days since Shinji had last seen him—was this why? How long had it been going on? Why hadn’t he been notified? Why hadn’t Kaworu himself told him anything?
Shinji shook his head. These were questions he could ask later; right now, he had to focus on getting to his angel as fast as he could.
“Just…wait a bit…longer,” he panted, hoping the words would somehow travel across NERV and reach the one he wanted to hear them.
*
He was nearly drenched in sweat by the time he finally arrived. The brunet only allowed himself to slow down once he caught sight of Misato’s face, nearly collapsed onto his knees to catch his breath as she rushed over toward him.
Even half delirious from exhaustion, somehow, he realized she didn’t look nearly as worried as her tone had implied.
“Shin-chan! Thank goodness you’re here, I wasn’t sure how fast you’d be able to make it,” she sighed with relief as she yanked Shinji up to his feet, patting his shoulder once he was steady on them. “Hopefully we can get this sorted out quickly, now.”
“Ka…Kawo…ru,” Shinji heaved out in between heavy gulps of air. “I-Is…Kaworu-kun…okay? Is he hurt? Where is he, b-bring me to him right now, I—”
Misato gripped his shoulders and held him in place. “Easy, easy! Take a minute to calm down, lover boy,” she giggled. “He’s fine. Well, not fine, exactly, but…it won’t kill him to hold on a while longer.”
Shinji stiffened at the mere suggestion of death, even if it had only been made to ease his worries. Misato’s cryptic reassurance wasn’t helping in the slightest; he wanted to press her for details, to have her confirm beyond a shadow of a doubt that Kaworu was safe, but she didn’t look like she was willing to offer up much else.
“Just hold your horses. Ritsuko will brief you on the, um, situation in a minute.”
It was just then that he noticed how red Misato’s face was. It was the same color it took on whenever she had a few too many of her beloved beers after a hard day, but she obviously hadn’t been drinking—she was too responsible to ever drink on the job.
But even if she had, then everyone else in the room must’ve been throwing them back along with her. The normally stoic, stone-faced NERV personnel were blushing like a bunch of schoolgirls, some looking down at their feet and others twiddling their thumbs, all keeping their eyes fixed anywhere but in Shinji’s direction. He’d never seen such a thing, at least not from a room full of adults—there wasn’t a clear cheek among them.
Aside from Ritsuko’s, who was quickly gaining on him now that he had begun to settle down.
“Thank you for coming so promptly, Shinji-kun. Misato was right to say we’d be able to count on you.”
Before he could choke out the same question he’d tried to ask moments ago, the scientist continued. “There’s no need for you to worry. Nagisa-kun isn’t in any danger,” she took a deep drag from her cigarette, averting her eyes. “Not yet, anyway. I think whether or not his condition improves largely depends on what you choose to do.”
A tense silence passed as Ritsuko smoked, giving Shinji the opportunity to pipe in. “I-I’m not sure what I’ll be able to do…I’m not a doctor or scientist, I don’t have the kind of skills you have,” he balled his fists by his side but kept his eyes forward, avoiding the all-too-familiar pit of self-doubt he usually found himself falling into. If they thought he could help Kaworu, then he’d give it everything he had. “But if it’s for Kaworu-kun, I’ll do anything. Anything at all!”
He felt his bravado crack a little when Misato snorted behind him, but Ritsuko looked pleased with his answer. She smiled as she quickly put out her cigarette and beckoned him forward, urging him to come closer to her. He took the seat across from her just as she sat down, reaching to her pack of cigarettes for another to light.
“I suppose we should start with what’s wrong with him, first. It might be a bit difficult to believe, but I ask that you keep an open mind.”
Shinji felt more confused by the second. The strange expressions on everyone’s faces, the vague language Misato and Ritsuko were using, this mystery problem Kaworu was dealing with, that apparently only he could help alleviate—none of it was adding up. Even still he dutifully waited for her to fill him in, true to his word.
Nothing could’ve ever prepared him for what she was just about to ask.
“Shinji-kun, are you aware of what a heat cycle is?”
He blinked a few times in confusion. “...Heat? Like, when animals…”
“Mate, yes.” Ritsuko stated matter-of-factly. “It’s a period in which females of certain species are sexually receptive to males. A mating period, more or less.”
Shinji stared at her, even more bewildered than before. “Uh-huh. So…what does any of that have to do with Kaworu-kun?”
Looking away from him again she took a long, deep drag from her newly-lit cigarette, deliberately not meeting his gaze. First Misato, then the rest of the staff, and now her, too? The always-calm, perpetually level-headed Dr. Akagi? He hoped this was just some kind of weird joke on their part—it had to be, right? What else could all of this be?
As much as he hoped that was the case, Ritsuko’s face was deadly serious.
“I believe Nagisa-kun is currently going through a similar process.”
He waited for her to break face and laugh at how stupefied he must’ve looked, but it never came. Her eyes met his, boring into them as he struggled to voice an answer, waiting to see how he’d take the news.
“H…How? Dr. Akagi, Kaworu-kun is a person, p-people don’t go through…heat,” he stammered, feeling himself break into light blush. “Plus, he’s a guy. That doesn’t make any sense.”
She gave a weak shrug. “Normally, I’d agree with you. When he showed up in my office last week complaining of his symptoms, initially I thought he was just a bit…pent up, so to speak. He is a young man, after all. I told him to sort it out himself,” her eyes narrowed as her lips curled into a smirk. “Or see you about it, if he really needed to.”
Ritsuko’s smile deepened when the light blush across his cheeks deepened to a beet red. “Oh? You two have been together for quite some time. I figured you must’ve become sexually active by now. Was I wrong?”
“N-no. I don’t see what this has to do with anything, but you’re not wrong. We’ve been…” Shinji trailed off. Did this really need to happen in front of his old guardian, of all people? It was like talking about his sex life in front of a nosy big sister. “I mean, we’ve…done it, before. We have been for a while.”
Shinji said the last part in a whisper, but the room was so quiet that the low volume did little to keep it from everyone else’s ears. He ignored the cheeky, raucous cheer Misato gave him and kept his focus on Ritsuko. “If you don’t mind me asking, how long is ‘a while’?”
Now she was just trying to humiliate him. “I-Is this really necessary!?”
She nodded. “This is purely a matter of scientific curiosity. I’m not prying into your intimate affairs for my own amusement, no matter what it may seem like,” her chuckle did little to settle his doubts. “I’m just trying to figure out if something of this sort has happened to him before. Being able to determine if this is a one-off event or not will change how we approach solving it.”
A minute passed in silence as Shinji tried to calm himself down. Even if it was for Kaworu, this was beyond embarrassing. “Please, Shinji-kun?”
“...Since he arrived at NERV. And no, I’ve never noticed anything weird about his behavior during…that. He’s completely normal.” Shinji paused. “As normal as Kaworu-kun can get, at least.”
“Hmm, I see,” the blonde mumbled to herself as she scribbled down notes. “That makes sense. While he is a special case, none of the physicals he’s undergone in the five years since then have revealed anything unexpected, save for the obvious,” she mused. “That, and his apparent sterility. Which makes this all the more baffling…”
Her brow furrowed as she fell deep in thought. “I thought we knew all that we could about how his status as an Angel affected his physiology, but clearly we have more to learn. Much more. Though I suppose that’s a bit beside the point; right now, we need to focus on attending to Nagisa-kun’s current predicament.”
Shinji swallowed heavily when her eyes locked with his once again. “And you want me to do that…how?”
She smiled. “I think you already know.”
*
Shinji plodded down the hallway, feeling more nervous with each successive step forward. Kaworu’s room—the one they were keeping him in—was right at its end, guarded by two bulky NERV personnel whose expressions he couldn’t read if he tried. He felt so exposed approaching them like this, still freshly damp from a shower and clad in nothing but a medical gown. Even if it was loose and went down to his knees, having nothing under it made him feel like he might as well be naked. It felt surreal, like it wasn’t even really happening.
None of this felt real. None of it made any sense, even after all the explanations Ritsuko had given him.
“How do you even know Kaworu-kun is sick, Dr. Akagi? Maybe you were right and he’s just, y-you know, really horny? We’ve both been busy with classes and training, so we haven’t found much time to be together, recently,” Shinji tried to explain. “He’s different from us, and spent most of his life locked away by SEELE. Even now, he sometimes has problems understanding normal Lilim—I mean, human behavior. He might just not know how to deal with what he’s feeling.”
“If I thought that was the case after I examined him, I wouldn’t have allowed his request to be confined here until it passes. His symptoms go far beyond mere sexual frustration.”
Shinji was almost afraid to ask. “Like…what, exactly?”
Ritsuko parsed through her notes. “An erection that doesn’t wilt upon multiple ejaculations, increased penile length and girth, significantly increased volume of expelled semen, extended duration of orgasm…” she rattled each off dispassionately, like she was reading off a grocery list. “And, of course, insatiable sexual desire. Most interestingly, the lab was able to detect the presence of sperm within his semen from the sample he provided us. They couldn’t determine if the sperm were viable or not, but given that none of his previous samples had any at all…well, it’s simply fascinating.”
Either not realizing or not caring about how red Shinji’s—and everyone else’s—face was, she continued. “Perhaps that explains why he reported a strong desire to…”
“To…?” Shinji asked when she fell silent, now blushing like everyone else. “What did Kaworu-kun say he wanted to do?”
“How do I put this gently…he said he wanted to…erm,” she coughed into her hand. “He said he wanted, or rather, felt a primal urge to…”
Shinji shifted in his chair, annoyed. “Just tell me already.”
“He said he wanted to impregnate you.”
Once he was right in front of the door, he wasn’t sure whether or not he wanted to enter. His hesitation made him feel terribly guilty; his lover was just on the other side of it, suffering through something only he could alleviate. It’s not like this was the first time—he had no reason to feel so nervous.
Besides, he was a man! There was no possibility of Kaworu getting him…
Another, fiercer blush burned across his cheeks. Not wanting to dwell on his thoughts any longer, he asked the guards to allow him entry. “Um, Dr. Akagi and Major Katsuragi sent me. Please let me through.”
One of the guards pressed a few buttons on a handheld device and the door promptly opened. It wasn’t until then that he realized how soundproof they were; only when it was opened did he hear the noises coming from within the room, wafting out along with the pungent smell of sweat and musk.
“Shinji-kun, Shinji-kun—”
The moans of his name were faint but unmistakable. He’d heard that tone enough times to know what it meant.
The door shut behind him as soon as he walked in, cutting him off from any chance of escape. He shook his head—no, he had no reason to try and run away. No matter what kind of state Kaworu was in, he’d never hurt him. The whole reason he’d had himself locked in here in the first place was for Shinji’s sake.
Shinji felt like he might as well catch on fire from how flustered he was. The snickering around the room didn’t help. “W-w-what did you say? I can’t get—I’m a guy!”
“Fantasies are often not grounded in reality, especially those of a carnal nature,” Ritsuko calmly tried to assure him. “But no matter how unfeasible his desire is, he said it still felt like it was consuming him. He didn’t trust himself to behave rationally around you, and asked to be put under quarantine until his heat passed.”
Now a nearly fully-spent stub, she put out her cigarette. “I’m going against his wishes by telling you any of this. He asked that we keep this under wraps so you wouldn’t worry about him,” she sighed. “But it’s been nearly a week, and he’s shown no signs of recovering. As the one responsible for his health, I had no choice but to tell you.”
“Kaworu-kun…”
Shinji walked into the heart of the dim, stuffy room, resolute in his decision. Kaworu had spent all these days cooped up here alone, bearing this all by himself so Shinji wouldn’t be troubled. Even when he was dealing with this…obsession, his thoughts were first and foremost about Shinji. How could he ever think he was a danger to him?
And how could Shinji ever abandon him in a time of need?
“Kaworu-kun? Kaworu-kun, I’m here.” Shinji called out to him as he approached the bed his lover was curled up under a duvet in. Had a stream of soft moans not been streaming out from the lump where his body was, he would’ve assumed he was sleeping.
“S-Shinji-kun…guh…”
The brunet stiffened where he stood. Kaworu was babbling his name so desperately, his voice so…undignified. Even in the throes of lovemaking, he’d never sounded like that before. The sheer neediness made his heart skip a beat.
The bed began to rock and the cries of his name picked up—he really hadn’t heard him, had he? Shinji reached a shaky hand out to touch him; as much as it felt like a violation of his privacy to intrude on a private moment, he had to. Kaworu needed him.
Carefully, he peeled back the blanket covering his target. He intended to announce his presence once more, but the words failed to reach his lips when he finally saw the state Kaworu was in.
Pale skin flushed pink and glistening with sweat. His mop of grey hair a disheveled mess, damp strands clinging to his forehead and cheeks. Those perfect features of his twisted into a look of pure, unbridled desire, his wet lips parted to moan Shinji’s name as he humped the pillow held still between his thighs, pretending it was his body he was fucking.
It wasn’t a sight he’d ever be able to forget.
“K-Kaworu-kun…?”
After a moment, the albino turned his attention to Shinji. The crimson eyes he knew so well were bleary and unfocused, like he could barely even see who was talking to him. His lips quivered as he tried to say something and failed, his normally overbearing eloquence stolen away from him by desire. Shinji gently cupped his cheek, hoping physical contact would make his point better than words could.
“Sh…Shinji…kun?” Kaworu muttered through gasps. Shinji ran his thumb in little circles over his cheek, a gesture meant to soothe the poor man, but it had the opposite effect; Kaworu’s eyes widened in surprise, like he had just then made the connection that Shinji was actually right in front of him. He jerked away, pressing himself against the wall, scrambling as far away as he could.
“Why…why are you here? How did you…” his eyebrows knit together as the realization hit. “That woman...after I told her not to mention anything to you.”
He sounded irritated—a marvel on its own, given how preternaturally calm the man usually was. Shinji didn’t let it deter him; none of this was normal, anyway. He knelt on the bed with one knee trying to get closer, but Kaworu pushed himself away even further.
“My love, I think you should leave. I’m not sure what Dr. Akagi told you, but this is just…something I have to deal with myself,” he said, attempting one of those easy smiles he always gave Shinji. “It’s nothing to worry yourself over.”
Ignoring the previous rejections, Shinji scooped Kaworu’s hands up into his before the other man could object. “Anything that’s troubling you is mine to worry about. We’re partners, aren’t we?” He held onto his hands tighter. “Let me help you through this. You always help me when I need it.”
Kaworu didn’t pull away from him this time. The look in his eyes made Shinji’s breath hitch in his throat—even from just holding hands, he looked absolutely wrecked, like he was barely holding himself back.
“Shinji-kun, my darling…you’re so good to me,” he sighed. “It’s not that I don’t want you here, but I just…I-I don’t understand what’s happening to me. Not fully,” Kaworu cast his eyes down, like he couldn’t bring himself to look at Shinji. “It’s a bit frightening, being so beholden to instinct. It’s not a feeling I ever wanted to relive.”
Shinji had to stop himself from wrapping his lover into a hug. It wasn’t just the physical stress of going through his heat, but the guilt that came along with it—the proof that he wasn’t completely human. He rarely spoke about it anymore, but Shinji assumed it stayed with him anyway; now he just had confirmation.
“Kaworu-kun, this is nothing like the instinct you had to rejoin Adam. It’s harmless. No one will get hurt because you want to…” he stopped short, too embarrassed to finish his sentence. “It’s…it’s okay to give in. I don’t mind,” he smiled. “And I wish you hadn’t hidden it from me for so long.”
It took a moment for Kaworu to respond. “...I don’t feel in complete control of myself. I feel like my judgment is clouded, like I can’t think straight,” he trembled as he spoke. “What if I hurt you? I can’t bear the thought.”
Cautiously, Shinji came closer. Kaworu’s pupils were blown wide open, making his eyes seem more black than red. “You won’t hurt me. You’re holding yourself back even now when I’m right here next to you.”
The albino sucked in a shaky breath. “...Barely.”
“You don’t have to hold back at all,” Shinji murmured as he sidled next to him, pulling the pillow separating them out from his grasp. “I want to help you,” he breathed. “I…I want you to fuck me.”
Shinji gulped when he could finally see the extent of the other’s arousal. Kaworu was harder than he’d ever seen him before—bigger, too. Much bigger. His beloved had always been well-endowed, and over the years he’d become well accustomed to accommodating his size, but this? Could it even fit in him?
As daunting as it was, he couldn’t say he wasn’t curious to find out.
“S-Shinji-kun, don’t tempt me like that,” Kaworu gasped, his breathing heavy. “Joining our bodies is a sacred act that should only be done out of love. I don’t want to taint it with carnality,” he looked so ashamed—Shinji had never seen him make a face quite like that before. “I want to cherish you, not use your body to sate some vulgar desire to breed.”
Even if he already knew about his lover’s particular fixation, Shinji was caught off guard by him admitting it so frankly. But as frazzled as he was, he kept it to himself. Kaworu looked so distressed, so apologetic. It hit him like a ton of bricks; Kaworu had never expressed any reservations of the sort before. He didn’t even understand why humans had such taboos surrounding nudity and sex in the first place. The only reason he knew about them at all was because Shinji had to work through all the hangups he had about them.
Wait. Was this all to spare his feelings?
Shinji had a feeling that it was—Kaworu always put him above himself, no matter how many times he told him not to. It filled him with sadness and love in equal measure; as much as it saddened him to see his angel in distress, it warmed his heart to know he’d go so far for him.
And he wanted to show Kaworu that he’d go just as far for him, too.
“It isn’t vulgar, Kaworu-kun,” he whispered as he crawled into Kaworu’s lap, putting his arms around his shoulders. Taking the lead like this was new territory, but Kaworu’s reaction showed no indication that his performance wasn’t up to par. “Nothing about you ever could be.”
Without giving him the chance to pull away again, he kissed him. It was quick and chaste, barely even a peck, but Kaworu still gripped onto the sheets so hard they looked like they might tear. Shinji was a bit proud of himself. “Letting the man I love suffer without relief is a far greater sin.”
As if to make his point, he ground up against him. Even dampened through the cloth of his medical gown, Kaworu’s cock felt so hot—all of him did. “So let me give it to you. Please.”
“Shinji-kun…”
Kaworu looked absolutely beside himself with want, but still kept his hands by his side. It must’ve taken every shred of his willpower to keep himself under control. Clearly, he still needed a little more convincing.
And, as embarrassing as it was, Shinji knew exactly what he needed to hear.
“Come on, Kaworu-kun. Don’t you want to fill me up?” he whispered directly into his ear. “With your seed?”
He buried his face in Kaworu’s neck, too mortified to see his reaction. “I-I want it in me so badly…sometimes I wish I were a girl, so I actually could bear your child. Do you wish that too, Kaworu-kun…?”
Sparing Shinji the indignity of having to keep going, that seemed to have done the trick. Kaworu roughly grabbed onto his hips, his fingers digging into his thin frame hard enough to leave bruises, and pushed him down onto the bed. He shoved his tongue into Shinji’s mouth as he pulled him into a desperate, needy kiss, only stopping when the smaller man needed to breathe.
“I don’t want you to be a girl. I don’t want any girl, or any man, other than you, Shinji-kun,” he panted, an uneasy hand moving up from his side to cup his cheek. “...I love you so much. Only you.”
Despite everything—the shame, the discomfort, the utterly compromising position he was in—Shinji couldn’t help but feel moved by those words.
“I know, Kaworu-kun. I feel the same way about you.” Shinji said as he nuzzled his cheek. “It might not be possible, but…you can try if you want,” his lips grazed against the shell of Kaworu’s ear. He could hear him gasping into his own. “Give me your baby.”
Whatever had been tethering Kaworu to reason snapped completely.
He seized Shinji’s hips again and turned him over onto his stomach, pulling his lower half up into the air. The roomy medical gown that had been the only thing covering him slid down his body and bunched around his shoulders, exposing him fully. It was an incredibly vulnerable position for him, especially since it was one they didn’t typically use; face-to-face was way better, as far as both of them were normally concerned. But if it’s what Kaworu wanted, he was more than happy to oblige.
That resolve did nothing to prepare him for the sensation of Kaworu’s tongue lapping around his hole.
“Ah, K-Kaworu-kun, you don’t have to—” he yelped. “I-I already got…”
“You’re already prepared,” Kaworu said flatly as he pulled away, his breath still hot against the sensitive area. He rubbed his thumb over it, testing how soft and slippery it was. “So thoroughly, too.”
When Shinji looked over his shoulder to meet Kaworu’s eyes, he was thankful he’d stretched and lubed himself up in the shower. While Kaworu would never hurt him—that he was sure of—he didn’t look like he had it in him to spend much time preparing him for entry, either.
Which he didn’t really mind. After all this, he wanted to get right into it too.
“Didn’t I tell you I want it badly?” Shinji purred, shooting Kaworu a look he hoped looked sultry. “I want to be full of your cum. F-full of your child. I—”
His sentence was cut off by his own scream as Kaworu pushed into him. So thick, so hot, so much—he wasn’t even fully in yet and Shinji felt like he was already nearing his limit. He’d never been stretched like this before, been so thoroughly stuffed full. He was surprised by how little it hurt.
Even more surprising was how quickly that pain vanished and gave way to pure, almost oppressive pleasure. All he could do was beg for more of it. “Kaworu-kun, please…all the way in,” he moaned. “Don’t hold back.”
Shinji heard him make a noise somewhere between a growl and whimper as he held tight onto his waist and sank into him fully.
It was overwhelming. But he didn’t care; it felt so good to have him all inside, even more so when Kaworu began to pound into him in earnest. He withdrew almost completely before slamming back into him, his hips wetly smacking against him with every savage thrust. It wasn’t long before Shinji lost what little strength he had left in his legs; Kaworu’s grip on his waist was the only thing propping him up.
“E-easy, ngh…” Shinji mumbled into the sheets his face was buried in, unable to do much else. He wished he hadn’t thrown that pillow away—it would’ve been nice to have something to anchor him as he was fucked harder than he ever had been before.
Though he knew he had no reason to be afraid, it still scared him a little. It was such a drastic change from how they usually made love where Kaworu was always gentle, almost excessively so. Every time was just as slow and tender as their first, full of soft little kisses and whispered declarations of adoration; they’d hold hands, look into each other’s eyes, and melt into one another until it felt like, just for a second, they had become the same being. As physically good as being taken from behind like this felt, it was missing that emotional aspect he so dearly craved.
With great effort, he shifted his weight to his elbows so he could turn around again. “Kaworu-kun, can you…kiss me?”
Kaworu looked so gone that Shinji wasn’t sure whether or not the plea had even registered at first. He was about to ask again when he felt the hands on his waist tighten their grip and pull him off of the cock he’d been impaled on to flip him over, letting him settle on his back.
The unexpected withdrawal left him feeling so empty, and not just in the literal sense. Before he could whine for Kaworu to start back up again, though, his wish was granted; the Angel hooked his hands under Shinji’s knees and pulled his legs up to rest on his shoulders, bending him over himself. He wasted no time descending onto him, crashing their mouths together as he entered him once more, immediately recovering the frantic pace he’d found earlier as he kissed Shinji with all the passion he could spare.
With his mouth covered, Shinji’s cries simply rumbled in his throat. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes; at this angle that lovely bundle of nerves deep within him was hit mercilessly with every stroke, each sending waves of staggering pleasure surging throughout his entire body. He was thankful for the awkward position—had it not been for the way the muscles in his legs burned from being stretched so far, he would’ve cum right then and there.
Which wouldn’t do. He wanted to hold onto this feeling for as long as he could.
“Kaworu-kun, Kaworu-kun—”
When their lips parted Shinji buried his face in the crook of Kaworu’s neck, relishing in how warm the other man’s flushed body felt against his own. He breathed in his scent deeply as he tangled his fingers in his silky hair, damp with sweat; he really shouldn’t have smelled so good, considering how he’d spent the past week. Was it an Angel thing? It didn’t make much sense, but he didn’t question it much, either. He doubted he’d ever know why.
What he did know was that he was rapidly approaching his peak, and that there was nothing he could do to stop it.
“I-I’m gonna cum soon,” he muttered into Kaworu’s ear before nibbling on the lobe. While his lover didn’t need any more encouragement to give in to his desires, he felt a strange temptation to keep playing along with him, anyway. “Are you close too?”
Kaworu nodded. “Good, I want to be full of you. Make me sticky with your cum.”
It didn’t even feel embarrassing to say it anymore. He hoped that wasn’t a bad sign. “I…I don’t care if it isn’t possible, I want to have your baby,” he cried, a little too sincerely. “Please, put one in me…”
It was like a dam burst. With one deep, powerful thrust Kaworu buried himself as deep within Shinji as he could and finally came, releasing thick torrents of hot cum inside him. He yelled something incomprehensible that sounded like Shinji’s name and sank his teeth into his shoulder as he fucked him through his orgasm, his hips stuttering as he tried desperately to keep rhythm.
He just kept on cumming. It went on for at least a minute, maybe more; Shinji wasn’t able to keep track of the time. He barely even noticed his own climax, only being made aware of it when he felt his cum trickle down to his navel. The only thing he could focus on was the sensation of being filled in a way he never had been before, each pulse shooting more of it into the already impossibly voluminous load inside him. It almost felt like it would never end. He wasn’t sure if he even wanted it to.
“...Shinji-kun, are you alright?”
By the time he was fully spent, Kaworu had recovered some of his wits. Shakily, he brushed a finger over Shinji’s cheek, trying to rouse an answer out of the exhausted, blissed-out man. His body felt leaden as Kaworu released his iron grip on his legs and let them fall to a more comfortable angle; he tried to wrap them around his hips, but only got halfway.
“Mmm, y-yeah, I’m okay,” he stammered, blinking his heavy eyes open. Kaworu was looking down at him with such clear love that he couldn’t help but smile. “Told you I’d be fine, didn’t I? It…was fun.”
Kaworu still looked a bit guilty. “I felt like I lost some control back there. I hope I wasn’t too rough…” he traced the bite mark he’d left. “But I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for being so understanding, my love.”
He leaned down to nuzzle Shinji’s cheek, earning a cute, but tired giggle. “Any time. But can you put me down now? My legs are starting to feel kinda sore.”
“No.”
It was a bit startling how suddenly the look in Kaworu’s eyes changed. “Uh…why not?”
His words came out heavily, like he was panting for breath between each one. “It might spill out if I move you now. I want to keep you full for as long as I can,” he laid his palm flat against Shinji’s belly. “Our chances will be better that way.”
Shinji started to think that maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t got all the breeding stuff out of his system yet. “O-oh, um…”
His eyes trailed down to his cum-splattered midsection. In between all the semen deposited and the massive, still partially hard cock inside him, the bulge left in his stomach made it look almost like he’d actually been knocked up.
From how he felt Kaworu’s cock start to twitch inside him again so soon, Shinji guessed that he appreciated the sight far more than he did.
“Is…once more okay? I don’t think I got it all out yet.”
He rocked into Shinji before he could answer, who just nodded in response and breathed in Kaworu’s sweet, intoxicating scent. It would be a lie to say he didn’t want to keep going.
“Give me as much as you can, Kaworu-kun. I want it all.”
*
“So, it that your going theory on the cause of your heat?”
Kaworu shrugged. “It’s the only one I have. Angels do not reproduce sexually, but Lilim do. Perhaps it’s just a side effect of inhabiting this body…otherwise, I truly cannot say. It’s as much of a mystery to me as it is to you.”
Ritsuko groaned lightly, not surprised but still disappointed. “I suppose that’s all we have to go on for now, considering the inconclusive lab results. But getting back on topic, are you sure you haven’t felt anything similar in the weeks following?” She looked up from her clipboard. “Not even a little?”
He shook his head. “I haven’t. And yes, I’ve been keeping a close watch for any symptoms. You can check the daily log I’ve been keeping for confirmation,” he smiled. “I’m happy to report that since the heat dissipated, my libido has returned to normal.”
The scientist went back to jotting down notes in the margins of the log he’d provided. “That's good to hear. But since the last one’s onset was so abrupt, I want you to keep tabs on any possible symptoms for the next year at least. I know it’s tedious, but it’s better to be prepared in case it happens again. Especially since it took you so long to work through it last time,” she smirked. “And I’m sure Shinji-kun would appreciate a heads-up.”
She was surprised to see the way he frowned. She had expected to see him at least a little flustered.
“If there is a next time, I hope I’m able to make it through without involving Shinji-kun. He said he was fine with…helping me,” he finally blushed. “But it took a heavy toll on his body. It feels selfish of me to ask so much of him.”
"Yes, I recall. He could hardly walk for three days straight once you were through with him," she laughed.
Kaworu's brow furrowed. "It's not just that. Ever since then, he's been sick far too often to chalk it up to the season," his frown deepened. "It's starting to worry me. Lilim bodies are fragile, after all."
“Oh? That’s news to me. I haven’t seen him in the infirmary at all lately.”
“He said he’s felt too awkward around you to seek you out since then. Major Katsuragi, too. I told him it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but I guess he still needs time.” Kaworu sighed deeply. “I wish he’d seek medical attention, at the very least. He’s lost so much weight…some days he can barely keep water down.”
"...Is that so?"
Ritsuko tried not to show it, but her interest had been piqued. Not even the pure, selfless concern etched across Kaworu's angelic face could rip her attention away from the small, outrageous, impossible possibility nagging at the corner of her mind. "Can you describe his symptoms in more detail? Perhaps I can do something for him."
"Nausea, vomiting, terrible headaches...he's quite tired all the time too, but that might just be due to exam season coming up," he paused. "And he...well, I don't think he'd appreciate me telling you."
Ritsuko urged him on. "I only want to help. I can't do that if I don't know all his symptoms."
Kaworu looked torn, but ultimately relented. "His nipples are often sore. His entire chest, really...normally he loves having them caressed during lovemaking, but lately, he hasn't let me near them at all. Such a pity."
She was glad she hadn’t been drinking anything at the moment. "I didn't need to know all of that, but I thank you nonetheless," Ritsuko chirped as she furiously scribbled down some notes. "Please tell Shinji-kun that I'm scheduling a full physical for him in three days. Doctor's orders, no backing out. I want to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible."
Crimson eyes widened in panic. "Do you think it's something serious?"
Was that even a question she could answer honestly?
"Hmm...well, I don't think he's in any danger, if it is what I think it is," she responded enigmatically. "But I'd like to be completely sure. For now, give this nausea medicine to Shinji-kun—tell him to only take two doses a day if he can manage."
She walked across the room to go through a cabinet of medication, taking great care to pick out the one she knew was safest. After putting the pills in their bottles, she placed them in a neat white paper bag and handed it to Kaworu. She was smiling now; the frown she'd worn had long since vanished. "If it doesn't help with his nausea, come back to me and I'll try to figure something out."
"Thank you, Dr. Akagi. But may I ask what's ailing him? What do you think he has?"
She had no idea how to tell him, so she didn't. "It's not something to worry about. Not yet, at least. Why don't you try and get those pills to him? The sooner he can eat and drink, the sooner he'll start to feel better."
The albino didn't look convinced in the slightest, but Shinji's health took priority. He bade her farewell and quickly hurried off to his beloved, looking the very picture of a devoted partner. Ritsuko spared a second to find it charming before she reached for a cigarette from the carton in her pocket and lit it up, collapsing into her chair.
"How fascinating."