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They had been together for a while at this point, - long enough to know each other’s routines, and habits - the way each liked their tea, and the best way to make the other come apart. And after all that time, somehow, someway, Larissa had grown comfortable in loving someone again.
In telling them she loved them.
She couldn’t say that she had been extended the same courtesy by her lover, but she never pushed and she never complained, because she didn’t know if Marilyn had had an experience much like her own. She knew that she no longer had a family, and that, of course, could weigh heavily on a person.
There were many nights that Larissa would wake up to the sound of quiet sniffling and stifled sobs. Nights when Marilyn would look at her with those big, dark eyes full of tears, and Larissa would wrap her in her arms, hold her tightly, and wait. Sometimes Marilyn would share bits of her nightmares, mostly to do with the death of her brother, and of the way her family treated her after it.
But recently, Marilyn would just stay silent. She would curl up in Larissa’s arms and close her eyes, desperately trying to get the image of whatever she had just been subjected to out of her head.
So Larissa never pushed her for more than she was willing to give. She would hold her at night and comfort her for as long as she needed. She would tell Marilyn she loved her, and would be content with the silence that greeted her, because at least she knew that she had Marilyn. She knew that she wouldn’t choose someone else over her the way Morticia had.
What Larissa didn’t know was that it was her Marilyn was dreaming about - didn’t know that almost every night her lover was subjected to the image of her death. She didn’t know that Marilyn was never able to get the image of blue eyes staring lifelessly at the ceiling - because of her own actions - out of her head.
What Larissa didn’t know was that Marilyn ached to tell her she loved her in return. She ached because she knew that the mission she had come to Nevermore to complete for her father and brother, would tear a rift in their relationship so wide that there was no bridge she could build that would be able to cross it.
So Marilyn kept her mouth shut. She tried her best to show Larissa that she loved her in other ways - the way she touched her, the way she looked at her - because the thought of saying those words when she was actively working to destroy everything that Larissa had spent so much of her life protecting, was too cruel for Marilyn to do to Larissa.
Larissa’s every “I love you” was greeted with silence and a smile, but Marilyn’s eyes would never meet hers, and always held a tinge of pain with every utterance of the phrase.
It wasn’t until tonight that she finally learned why.
…
“Larissa, I can’t do this anymore.”
Larissa never expected to hear those words from yet another woman she loved. Perhaps this is inevitable, she thought, always doomed to love one who will never love me back.
She shuffled back just a few inches to look at Marilyn, and felt her take a deep breath.
“I have to tell you something.”
Here it comes, yet again.
Marilyn was still facing away from her. She wished she would just turn around and get this over with. At least Morticia had the kindness to look her in the eye when she broke up with-
“My name isn’t Marilyn Thornhill.”
What?
‘Not Marilyn’ shuffled onto her other side and finally looked up at Larissa, with tears in her eyes waiting to fall but held back for the time being.
“My name is Laurel Gates. I’m the one who is causing all of the issues at Nevermore. I’m the one you all are looking for.”
The room suddenly felt twenty degrees colder, and Larissa’s body felt numb. She pulled her arm off of the woman in front of her and sat up completely, watching as her eyes shut tight and the tears finally fell.
“What?”
“Please, please, Larissa. Let me explain,” Laurel begged. “It was my father’s wish and I- I wanted to honor it-”
Larissa stood up and took a few steps back from the bed. “Your father wanted you to destroy everything I have dedicated my life to?”
Laurel hesitated, pulling the sheet up over her chest and holding it there, needing something to protect her before telling Larissa the whole truth.
“Well… it was a bit more than that,” she whispered, ashamed.
“Oh, was it?” Larissa scoffed, waving her hand in front of her. “What more could you possibly feel the need to take from me after that?”
Laurel supposed the fastest way to explain would be to explain her ancestry. Larissa could fill in the pieces that she couldn’t bring herself to admit.
“My family - the Gateses - well… we are descendants of… uh…”
“Oh spit it out, Marilyn- Laurel- whoever you are.”
Laurel took a deep breath and looked down at the floor. “We are descendants of Joseph Crackstone.”
As she looked back up she saw Larissa’s breath catch, and her body go still.
“His ideals - the ones every Nevermore kid knows,” she continued, “were passed down through the generations, and my father-”
“Made you want to kill every Outcast.” Larissa gasped, “Garret Gates-”
“Was my brother. Yes.”
Larissa shook her head, throwing her hands up in disbelief. She picked up her robe that was hanging on the door of her wardrobe, wrapping it around herself, suddenly feeling entirely too exposed in this room with a complete stranger.
Only she wasn’t a stranger. Marilyn was very clearly still a part of the woman in front of her. But how much of it was a lie?
Suddenly Laurel was talking at a pace Larissa could hardly keep up with - trying to get every single piece of information she could out before Larissa kicked her out of the room, or worse.
Tears were streaming down her face and she would occasionally hiccup through a sob, but she pushed through, telling the taller woman everything - about the Hyde and Tyler, about her family, about every missed date and mysterious disappearance.
By the end of her rant, she was nearly hyperventilating - her vision tunneling slightly, focused only on the beautiful face of her lover - twisted with rage and eyes full of unshed tears.
But Larissa didn’t say a word. She didn’t move, aside from the rise and fall of her chest as she fought to keep her breathing steady. The only thing that could be heard was the crackling of the fire beside them.
“Please say something,” Laurel pleaded, her eyes screwed shut with pain and guilt.
Larissa exhaled a heavy, steady breath.
“Get up.”
Laurel looked up at her with questioning eyes.
“Get. Up.”
She scrambled to get to her feet, leaving the warmth of the bed to face Larissa’s icy glare - thawed only slightly by the heat of the fire. She felt the urge to fidget with her hands, and to look anywhere but her beloved’s face, but she had done enough of that. Larissa deserved her attention, she deserved to see every emotion that played across her features.
“I have heard you out - which is, quite honestly, more than you deserve.”
Laurel couldn’t disagree with that.
“And now I am going to lose my temper.”
The force of the back of Larissa’s hand meeting her cheek nearly knocked Laurel to the ground, but she was able to remain standing - stock still in the face of Larissa’s anger.
“I gave you a job. I let you into what is, essentially, my home. I trusted you with the children under my care,” Larissa took a shuddering breath, “and I come to find out that you were the cause of all of the death? You were the cause of the fear and dread that has been destroying my school and impacting my children.”
Larissa paused.
“Was any of it real?” she whispered. “Clearly you are knowledgeable about your plants, but you are a dorm mother. Did you even care about the girls you were responsible for? Or were they all just another Outcast in the way of the family heirloom that is your revenge plot? Was anything we shared real to you?”
“Yes of course it was real, Larissa-”
“Do not. Say. My name.”
The venom with which Larissa spat those words nearly stunned Laurel to silence for a moment.
“I came here to finish out a mission. I came here with a plan - a new name, and a fake life. I came here to get close to the Outcasts in the best way I could think. I thought that everything would go to plan,” It took every scrap of Laurel’s resolve to get through this conversation. “but I didn’t account for you. I didn’t account for the way you care about these kids. And I certainly didn’t account for the way I would feel about them myself. I had a plan - but these kids, Larissa!” Her tears had never fully stopped, but a new wave made themselves known thinking about how much her students meant to her. “These kids are so talented, they are so brilliant. They are just so special-”
Larissa stormed forward, pinning Laurel’s arms to her side, lifting her to eye level, and slamming her into the wall next to the fireplace.
“Do not dare speak of how special my children are when that is the precise reason that you Normies want to kill them!”
Laurel fought through the pain, and the way her vision swam with stars for a moment. She opened her mouth to respond, but Larissa continued, all while holding her against the wall, moving to pin her with her body weight as her hand reached up to wrap around the other woman’s throat.
“You made me feel special - you made me blind to your actions, just so that you could destroy these children’s lives?!” Larissa had lost her tight grip on her rage, no longer sparing the shorter woman anything. “This place is all that they have, and aside from their parents, I am the only person willing to do what must be done in order to protect them.”
Laurel’s hand reached up to grab hold of the blonde’s wrist. They had been in this position before, but never without an element of fun intertwined. Larissa had a much tighter grip this time, and more than just blood flow was cut off.
“I confided in you the truth about myself and Morticia. I told you of my extreme hesitance to enter a relationship ever again- I told you I loved you!” Her voice cracked with her last sentence, voice filled with pain and eyes red with tears. “You made me fall in love with a lie - with a woman who doesn’t even truly exist, a mere construct of your twisted imagination. And yet,”
Larissa scoffed, “I still love you.”
It would be so easy, she thinks, to kill her right now and claim it was an accident - a forgotten glove while dealing with a venomous plant. Maybe that would fix all of this.
Her hand closed tighter around Laurel’s throat, and - almost as if reading her mind - Laurel pushed the hand harder into her, cutting off almost all of her air as she struggled to keep her sobs under control.
She could have done it. Larissa could have killed her right then, face contorted with rage and tears falling silently. And it would have been more than Laurel thought she deserved. She might as well tell her final secret before she died at the hands of her lover.
A final, choked whisper - barely audible - came from Laurel’s mouth.
“I love you.”
Those words broke Larissa from her angry haze.
She released Laurel and stepped back, letting the smaller woman fall at least a foot to the ground - where her legs gave out entirely upon hitting the floor.
Laurel crumpled to the ground, having only the strength to heave in breaths through burning throat and tearful sobs - face pressed into the floor.
Larissa stumbled a single step backwards, and collapsed in front of her.
After a moment, when Laurel had recovered a bit, she heard Larissa whisper, “Perhaps I’m just as selfish as you are… perhaps even more.”
Laurel looked up finally, seeing Larissa gazing at her, eyes still full of pain but all of the anger having worn away.
The blonde reached forward and cupped her cheek.
“I loved you as Marilyn.”
Laurel’s breath hitched, completely unaware of where this might be going.
“I suppose I will love you as Laurel, too.”
Larissa watched as Laurel’s expression broke, a fresh wave of tears breaking free, and heavy sobs coming from her mouth. She pulled Laurel into her lap and could feel her own tears falling steadily.
“I’m sorry - I’m so sorry - I love you,” shuddering breaths and choked words spilled from the smaller woman’s lips as she clung to the edges of Larissa’s robe.
Larissa held her close.
“This changes so much, Laurel.” She murmured, “And even though I absolutely still love you, I am royally pissed with you. There will be occasions where that may… come out.”
Laurel huffed out a laugh between gasps.
“I know, I know. I deserve that.”
It took quite some time for them both to calm down, the fire nearly reduced to embers at that point, and the room growing nearly too cold for Laurel in her still unclothed state.
Finally Larissa pulled back and held Laurel’s chin in her hand, looking into her wide, brown eyes.
“We have to get you out of here.”