Chapter Text
Stepping into the new apartment, Sunny felt conflicted.
On one hand, he was semi-familiar with city apartments, and was impressed by how spacious this one was.
On the other, it was definitely a lot smaller than the two-story house he'd lived in back in Faraway…
He zoned out. The house and the town still held so many memories for him, good and bad.
The images of that awful day echoed in his mind.
He felt himself beginning to spiral, and found his mental state resetting to how he felt in White Space.
Everything was still so fresh in his mind, and yet he could ignore it all. It was funny how that worked.
"Sunny, honey, I've got to get through."
Oops. He'd been standing in the doorway.
He stepped back and to the side, giving his mother room to get past him. She was carrying a large cardboard box into the apartment. Some things had already been inside when he had arrived, mostly furniture from the old house, but they'd taken the last of the boxes with them today, and the car had been practically filled to bursting. They'd been very lucky to find a parking spot close to the building.
He followed his mother inside the apartment and stopped short inside the front room as she walked diagonally towards the kitchen. A dusty smell tickled his nose, and he sneezed. The hardwood floor was worn, creaking in the spot where Sunny stood as his weight shifted. The wallpaper was a pale yellow color, dotted with a pattern of small, dark-colored flowers. Wait, were those…?
He felt a pang of guilt upon recognizing the shape. He hadn't noticed this in the photos.
He walked up to the wall on his left and placed a hand on it, inspecting it closely. His suspicions were confirmed - the pattern was an egret orchid.
An odd detail, given why they moved…
He found himself wandering the new apartment's layout, trying to get used to it. He was able to map the whole area out, and found it took a simple shape - a loop with a protruding hallway. The loop consisted of the front room (thankfully the only one with that wallpaper), the living room on the right (freshly painted sky-blue, a perfect match for the window at the end, which took up most of the wall - there was even still blue painter's tape everywhere), the kitchen on the left (the cabinets were worn just like the floor), and then the dining room at the end of the kitchen, linking into the living room. The hallway ran perpendicular to the front room, branching off into some closets and a couple of bedrooms.
Checking inside his own room, he saw that it was laid out much the same as his old room, but it was smaller and only had one bed. Pressing down on the bare mattress confirmed it was indeed the correct one, and Sunny breathed a sigh of relief. This was quite the important detail.
Next on the list of details were his belongings. His drawers were unpopulated, and his desk looked lopsided without a computer beneath it. He nodded to himself before finding his mother in the front room, placing a box on the floor.
"Hey, Mom, I'm going to get some stuff for my room out of the car. I'll be right back."
"Okay, honey," she said. She wore that vacant smile she'd had for four years. "You know where we're parked, right?"
He nodded in response.
"Okay, good. Let me know if you need any help."
"...I'll be okay. Thank you."
He exited the apartment, closing the door behind him. For a moment, he simply stood there.
Fresh start…
Sunny liked the elevator.
There was no sense of vertigo, no creeping fear, no monsters at the bottom. You simply stood in a room, pushed a button, and waited. Soon enough, the doors opened and you were off, as simple as that.
Sunny knew where his clothes and his bedsheets were, as he had packed the box containing them himself. He wasn't sure about his old computer, but he figured it could wait. That thing was heavy, and the components inside were fragile. Both of those went double for the monitor. With his eye injured, dropping one of those was not a risk he wanted to take.
Exiting the front door of the apartment building, his gaze found the shiny black minivan.
Suddenly he became tense. He stopped walking. His eye widened.
He'd thought he'd seen something.
Sunny let out an exhausted sigh and stepped out into the afternoon air. It was just a reflection.
He had been hoping these visions would be left behind with the old house, but… of course it wasn't that easy. Why should it be? Any hint of suffering he experienced was completely deserved. There was no changing what had happened.
He had killed Mari.
As much as he had tried to forget it, the past had still managed to haunt him indirectly. On top of that, now he knew what it had been like for his friends. Kel, putting on a smile and pretending everything was fine. Aubrey, fleeing the group in anger. Hero, unable to function for weeks.
Basil, clinging to him harder than ever before. Himself, abandoning Basil. Abandoning everyone.
It was all his fault.
How could he have made himself forget something like that?
…How could he not have?
It had taken all he had not to follow the visions of his dream friends toward the hospital balcony earlier, just today. The very fact that four years had passed had proven to him that life would move on, that people might recover from the loss, in their own ways. But back then when it was still fresh? When he couldn’t know how things would turn out? It had either been this or his own life, he realized.
Yet Sunny found himself unconvinced that he had made the right choice in that regard.
He sighed and pulled the handle to open the trunk of the car. His box wasn't buried very deep to begin with, and his mother had been efficient. Only a handful of boxes remained. He placed his box on the pavement, closing the trunk and carrying it inside.
At least there was… a chance.
That everything could be okay.
It seemed like Basil was doing better today, at least. And Kel had seemed more apologetic over the others’ reactions than mad at him, which had to count for something.
Above all else, though, he wondered how Mari herself felt about the whole thing.
Somehow, he had a memory of her the same age as Hero was now. She had appeared in black-and-white, like he was while he was Omori. She was wearing a simple white dress, floating in front of a window. He couldn’t remember what she had said to him, but it felt… comforting, and accepting.
Had it just been his mind, or her… spirit?
…
The elevator dinged.
Sunny’s bed was just as comfortable as ever.
Unfortunately, that meant he kept drifting off to sleep, and he didn’t want that. Last time he had been asleep, he…
Instead, he sat at the old computer that had remained a fixture of his room since it had first been given to him and Mari by his father. It still ran an operating system from seven years ago, and it was honestly a piece of junk, but Sunny had quite a few good memories on this thing.
Right now, he was simply keeping himself occupied with a game of solitaire. It wasn’t long before his mind began wandering, though.
The game had chosen a card face with flowers on the back… nothing special, but he had left Mari this kind of generic bouquet today while visiting her.
It had actually been Basil's idea, he recalled. The boy had been brought flowers as a get-well present, but they'd only been kept in water, and were clearly store-bought quickly for the occasion. Unable to care for them in his state, he thought the gesture would be better spent on someone who would appreciate it.
Then it had only been a matter of convincing his mother, who was surprisingly receptive to the idea. Perhaps he was not the only one holding back his feelings all this time…
He'd placed the flowers at the foot of her gravestone and gotten down on his knees. His mother had already begun to return to the car, evidently having nothing to say.
Sunny had not been so lucky.
"I'm sorry."
.
"For what I did to you. For not visiting.”
.
“...For forgetting about you."
.
"I locked everything away in the depths of my head and dreamt you were still here. For four years."
.
"I wish things had gone differently."
.
"I love you, Mari."
.
He had stood up, then, and joined his mother.
It hadn’t been his first time acknowledging the truth out loud - he had told his friends everything back at the hospital, after all - but apologizing to Mari directly was as close to closure as he felt he could come.
On his own, at least.
When he had told his friends the truth, he had been on a time crunch. It was moving day, after all.
The air had felt pressurized in the room, and it felt like it had lasted hours, bursting when Aubrey walked out.
"We'll talk about this later," she had said. Her anger was quiet. It scared him a lot more than her usual anger.
Hero had given him even less to work with, refusing to make eye contact, and following behind without saying a word.
Kel had been caught off guard by the whole thing, his eyes darting between Sunny, Basil, and the door. Eventually he had approached Sunny and given him a quick hug. "I'm sorry, man, I-- Hope your move goes okay..." he had said in a sympathetic tone.
Then he'd exited, too.
Sunny knew he could probably talk to Kel and Basil easily about the whole thing, but he was worried about the other two. Their bonds with Mari had been more personal than his own, so their reactions made sense to him, but he was worried they'd taken the news a little too personally. Their friendships had gradually slipped away over the past four years, becoming almost parasocial in nature as Sunny kept dreaming about their younger selves, and what had formed recently was a lot more fragile. Something huge like this... it could mean they'd never speak to him again.
He was lucky still to have Kel and Basil, then. He was close to them in almost the same way Mari had been close with Aubrey, though obviously Hero had something a bit more special with her.
His eyes wandered to the clock on the taskbar. Ten o’clock. That made sense. He could feel his eyes getting droopy, after all.
He shut down the PC and found his way toward the bed, making sure to turn the light off.
He had some difficulty getting to sleep - the unfamiliarity of the new room prevented the bed’s soothing effect from being enough to put him to sleep instantly - but, eventually, he drifted off.
It took Sunny a moment to register that anything was out of place. To him, he had simply woken up in his bed at his old house back in Faraway Town.
…His room was never this bright, though.
He sat up on the bed. Everything was quiet. The window above him glowed a solid white rather than giving way to a blue sky. The beams of light streaming into the room caught on the tiny dust particles in the air.
Mari’s bed was still in the room…
…Was that a cat?
His interest piqued, Sunny stood up and walked over. It was! He reached out to give it a pet, and…
Mew? (Waiting for something to happen?)
He gasped and pulled his hand back, as if he had just burned it on a hot stove.
What… was going on…?
Slowly, he made his way toward the door of his room. It, like the window, seemed to have a bright light behind it, though there were only cracks to see it through here.
The entire thing felt oddly familiar to Sunny, but… he couldn’t place why.
Acting almost independently of him, his hand found the doorknob, slowly turning it and pushing the door open a crack. As he pushed through, the crack widened, and he closed his eyes, the light almost blinding, afraid of what might be on the other side.
…He could hear birds.
The light was still there, but it didn’t seem nearly as bright.
He opened his eyes and found himself… standing at the rear of the treehouse…
But… there isn’t…
He spun around. There was no door behind him, only blank wall as was normally there.
“Sunny!”
Spinning around again, he was immediately tackle-hugged to the floor by an overjoyed Kel, disorienting him somewhat.
“Unhh… what…” he managed.
“O-oh, sorry…” Kel said, slightly embarrassed. He stood up and gave Sunny a hand doing the same.
From this angle, Sunny could actually get a good look at Kel. He looked… like he had when they were twelve, but… not like Headspace. More like a memory…
Sunny shook his head. “But… what’s…?” He fidgeted with his hands, unable to put his feelings into words.
Kel raised an eyebrow at him. “What?” he asked flatly.
Sunny walked past him, out of the corner and towards the center of the room. “Were you… playing cards? By yourself?”
“No?” Kel said, his other eyebrow raising.
Sunny looked back down at the half-finished card game. There were Aubrey and Hero, younger, like Kel, still with cards in their hands. They were giving him confused looks - Aubrey’s with a hint of amusement, Hero’s a hint of concern.
He found himself staring at them.
Aubrey stared at him for a moment, then scowled. "Sunny, what's the matter with you?"
He felt almost paralyzed. “I’m… I… don’t know…”
“Have you been drinking enough water?” Hero asked. “We are in the middle of a heat wave, after all. Maybe you should go inside and get some.”
“...Right, thank you…”
Slowly, he walked past them, and towards the ladder. He turned around and began descending it backwards.
That was strange… This was the past, but… something was wrong. He couldn't grasp what was missing.
Maybe…
Was it because Basil was missing? Yes, that was it.
…Mari was missing, too.
He blinked and rubbed his eyes. He thought he could make out a stump where one of the other trees had been, but when he pulled his hands away, it was just a normal tree.
Huh.
He pulled open the sliding glass door at the rear of his house, making his way toward the kitchen. It was much darker inside, and his eyes took a moment to adjust.
Instinctively, he opened the fridge. The lightbulb inside briefly blinded him, but he was able to find the water bottles.
Returning outside, he called up to his friends in the treehouse.
“Where’s Basil?”
No reply.
“Hello?”
Nothing.
He began climbing up the ladder, confused with a hint of fear.
It seemed as if the sun had retreated behind a cloud by the time he reached the top. He could barely make anything out until he entered.
This time, Kel was missing. Hero and Aubrey were their older selves again. They were no longer paying attention to their cards and had begun… secretively whispering to each other…?
Sunny's ears began ringing. He couldn’t make out most of what they were saying, but he heard his name somewhere among the chaos. They kept glancing at him as they spoke, concern creeping onto their faces.
Anxiety began creeping in.
He reached out and tapped Aubrey’s shoulder. She whipped around, hand going for her bat. Seeing who it was, she sighed.
Hero’s eyes were in shadow.
“Sunny…” he uttered judgmentally.
Aubrey abruptly stood up. “I can’t do this.”
What?
She walked over to the rope ladder and climbed down, calmly.
No.
Hero began following her.
They weren't going to leave him. Were they? After all this time?
Please?
His vision began tunneling. He hid his face in his hands. The ringing in his ears grew louder and more turbulent until it felt as if he was submerged in water. He closed his eyes. The pressure built and built until–
It stopped. All he could hear was his own heart rate.
He fell to the floor, sobbing quietly. Without having to look, he knew what had happened.
This was White Space.
For a while he simply knelt there, sobbing. Eventually he allowed his eyes to open.
Staring back at him were the dead eyes of someone he expected never to see again.
Immediately, he felt a pang of guilt.
Omori reached down, cliff-faced as usual. He extended a hand to Sunny, who took it. Omori helped him up and hugged him closely.
Sunny sniffled. “Y-you’re still here…?”
Omori said nothing. He simply remained his usual comforting presence.
Eventually, Sunny hugged him back, tightly.
Sunny’s emotions still existed, but it felt as if they were leaving his body and going somewhere far away. They became more and more distant, and Sunny calmed down more and more.
Gradually, he stopped crying.
Omori faded.
Sunny opened his eyes, which caught on the first thing they saw.
On the floor where Omori had been standing lay an all-too-familiar object.
The steak knife.
…Ah.
Slowly, Sunny knelt down and picked up the weapon off the floor. It was perfectly weighted, as usual.
He could see his reflection in the blade as he inspected it.
I suppose that… makes sense.
In a trance, he turned the knife in his hand, pointing the blade toward himself and gripping the blade with two shaking hands.
He closed his eyes.
I… deserve this.
Pain bloomed in his gut. He could feel his life force draining, his extremities already turning cold and dead.
He fell to his knees. Then, to the floor.
I…deserve… this…
Kel had long since given up on trying to sleep. A particularly rough bout of tossing and turning had caused him to fall out of bed, and he was now pacing his room, up and down its length.
From the other bed, Hero groaned. "Kel, d'you mind? 'M trying to sleep," he said in hushed tones.
Hearing his brother's voice, Kel tensed up. "S-sorry, Hero," he whispered. "I'll go, um… take a walk outside…"
Hero pushed the covers off and sat up in the bed, stretching. "No, it's… look, I get it. I can't sleep either. Today was… a lot."
Kel sat on the floor, leaning against Hero's bed. "Ugh, you can say that again."
Hero chuckled at that. “Classic Kel…”
They remained there in silence for a moment.
"You know…" began Hero. "It feels awful to say, but… learning the truth about what happened is a weight off my shoulders in some ways."
Kel gave him a hard stare at that. "...What do you mean?"
"Well, just… you know how hard I blamed myself for Mari's death. I felt awful, I was constantly beating myself up over how I was a bad partner, how she wouldn't have done that if I'd been there for her more."
He sighed. "Even saying those words leaves a weird taste in my mouth," he admitted. "Only now, it's… well, I wasn't on the road to medical school back then. I couldn't have done anything to prevent what happened. And yeah, that's kind of frustrating, but… when it's been self-hatred of such a high magnitude for so long, this feels… miniscule."
Kel nodded. "Yeah, I guess I get that… but why is it causing you trouble sleeping? The way you phrased it sounds almost like… closure?"
Hero chuckled again. "Oh, I've long since missed my chance for closure on Mari. Her little brother made sure of that," he said, a hint of bitterness in his tone. "That's the part I can't deal with. My mind wants to push all that self-hatred onto Sunny and Basil, but I know I shouldn't do that… you seemed happier than ever when I got home and he was hanging out with you. Yeah, maybe it took Aubrey some time to come around, but when the four of us were up in the treehouse, it really did almost feel like we were kids again. Like none of it ever happened. I just… I don’t know." He sighed. "Am I making sense?"
"I mean, I guess I can see where you're coming from…" Kel started. "And you're right, I do have some… words for Basil when I next see him. I dunno, though, I'm more worried for Sunny than anything else. Like, he used to hate being alone, but he shuts himself inside for four years? He suddenly comes outside and he's attacking people with a steak knife?"
"Wait, what?"
"Yeah, he had a steak knife. From the kitchen. For cutting steak. He attacked Aubrey with it. Scared the shit out of me. Thankfully she didn’t get hurt, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. Why was that on his person?"
"I… didn't know about this…"
"Well, he only had it that one time, and it was before you got back. I took it from him, and I didn't see him with one afterwards. But, just, like… the look in his eyes was just…"
"Dead?"
"Exactly, yeah. For almost the whole time he was outside. Didn't really go away until–"
"The treehouse, yeah, I did notice that. Wish I'd suspected more at the time…"
A moment of silence passed between them.
Hero broke it with a sigh. “We’re never gonna get past this, are we?” His face sank into his hands. “It’s gotten so much bigger than we can handle on our own…”
“...Well, we won’t have to, will we?” Kel replied. “We’ve got the gang back together now. This isn’t gonna break us apart a second time. Not on my watch.”
He looked up at his brother. “Besides… we’ve all been due for some therapy for far too long.”
“Heh… you’ve got that right,” Hero replied, stretching and laying back down, pulling the covers back over him. “Still, it’s… I’ll have to talk to those two eventually. I’m dreading that now. I still don’t really know how I feel…”
Kel stood up. “That’s alright, Hero. I’ll do the talking until then,” he said, smirking at his brother and flipping his hair over. Hero scoffed at the gesture. “Stop it, you know I don’t do that anymore…!”
The two burst out laughing, quickly quieting themselves so as not to wake Sally. “Oh, I missed you, bro,” Kel said, heading back to his bed. “G’night.”
“Goodnight, Kel,” Hero said with a smile.
Finally at ease, the two drifted off into sleep.