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Jungsu would consider himself a good hyung. He had always been a good leader, someone people could count on, someone who felt responsible for others and took care of them. He knew his boundaries though, even since that one time a classmate of his tried to convince him to make his entire project overnight for his science class. Not only was Jungsu a good hyung, but he was bad at science, so that would’ve ended badly for everyone.
But Jungsu knew how to be a good guide, and he knew how to instruct people on the ways of life. He had been a kind of second in command for the group since he joined, as second eldest he knew his place almost immediately. Gunil was the one who laid down rules, rallied the troops so to speak, and Jungsu was the one who made sure no one was straggling behind, and provided moral support for everyone. He was okay with that. And the younger members liked him, they liked coming to him and asking for advice or encouragement and he loved to give it to them. Jiseok called him ‘mom’ sometimes and it was cute and funny and Jungsu liked it. He was a good hyung. But maybe he wasn't as good as he thought.
“You want me to do what?”
He’s sitting on his bunk, mid page flip as he gapes at Jooyeon. The youngest is dangling from the top bunk, upside down his hair flows down in an even, shiny black sheet. The pink ends look like ribbons. He somehow still looks delicate and angelic when he’s harassing Jungsu. What was he even doing there? Where was Hyeongjun? Jungsu squeezes his eyes shut for a second to see if maybe Jooyeon is an exhaustion-induced hallucination. He is not.
“Teach me how to kiss.”
The second time hearing it isn’t any better, and Jungsu realizes that he had asked Jooyeon to repeat not from a lack of listening ability, but more so because he couldn’t believe his youngest co-member had said such a thing. Out loud. To his face! What the fuck!
“What the fuck?” Jungsu can’t stop staring. His throat feels dry and scratchy, and he can’t seem to move. He’s frozen to his bed, book in hand as he watches Jooyeon giggle and slip down from the upper bunk. “Why are you asking me that?”
Jooyeon leans on the frame of the bed, a little too confidently for Jungsu’s taste. The bed creaks dangerously every time he or Hyeongjun get in it, it’s probably not built to have a 6 foot plus beanpole lean against it.
“Why not?” he shrugs, easy and smooth, and Jungsu blinks finally.
“Is this some kind of joke?” Jungsu glances over at the door to see if Jiseok is coming through it, cackling as he and Jooyeon revel in their weird prank.
“It’s not a joke, hyung.” Jungsu blinks again. “I want you to teach me to kiss.”
Jungsu lets the words rain over him like hail. He was surprised to say the least, to have someone he considered a good friend ask for such an intimate favor. He had been asked to do lots of things by his members, by Jooyeon. But this. His skin felt hot and he put the book down. He couldn't quite explain why he felt so bothered…or maybe he could.
“Why?” Jungsu feels curiosity itching at him. Surely Jooyeon had been with someone before? Jooyeon’s face turns pink and he looks away, suddenly a little less sure of himself.
“Me and Jiseok were talking,” Jungsu groans lightly, it’s always Jiseok. “And he said he’s kissed a lot of people, and I said I hadn’t and so he said I should find a kissing buddy like him and Hyeongjun.” Jungsu’s eyes couldn’t be wider.
“Him and-” Jooyeon laughs and nods. He seems to ease back into his familiar confidence.
“Yeah, for a while now I guess.” Jungsu digests the information in silence. He felt a little hurt at this, he was supposed to be all-seeing, all-knowing. Even the designated ‘mom hyung’ had his limits, he mourned. Jooyeon sits on the edge of the bed, an arms length away.
“So what do you think?” Jungsu can see the tips of his fingers peeking out from the sleeves of his hoodie, the span of his creamy-soft thighs under the hem of his boxers. He looks pretty, soft, his eyes wide and earnest as he waits for Jungsu to say something. The picture of innocence and purity, like someone who had never even kissed someone. Jungsu supposed that part was true after all. “It wouldn’t change anything between us, I promise!”
Jungsu hesitated. It wasn’t so much the request itself. If anyone else had asked this of him, he would’ve probably said yes, without much of a quandary. But this was Jooyeon. Their maknae. He was special in more ways than he knew, in more ways than Jungsu wanted to admit. Kissing him would tilt Jungsu’s entire world on its axis, not that Jooyeon needed to know that. He looks expectant, eyes bright and looking for approval, eager and excited.
“Why didn’t you ask Jiseok?”
“Jiseokie?” Jooyeon looks grossed out. “That’s weird, I don’t want to kiss him. God knows what he has in his mouth these days.” Jungsu coughs out a laugh. Jooyeon’s implications make him want to laugh but he still feels hot. Does that mean that Jooyeon wants to kiss Jungsu? What did that mean?
“I- I don’t know, Joo,” Jungsu manages, his voice cracking as he tries to sort his thoughts out. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea.” Jooyeon pouts.
“Why not?” Jungsu sighs and runs a hand over his face.
“Lots of reasons.”
“Give me one.”
Jungsu stills. Because if you let me kiss you, I don't know if I'll be able to stop. He bites his lip. Because I’m supposed to be your hyung, and who knows what everyone will think if i do this. Because I’m supposed to be logical and reasonable and-
“Hyung?” Jungsu looks up at Jooyeon. He feels a little desperate. Jooyeon scans his face for a second, his eyes softening when he sees the clear debate on Jungsu’s face. “Can you at least think about it?” Jungsu sighs. And he nods.
'*•.¸♡ 🐱🐺 ♡¸.•*'
To his credit, Jooyeon doesn’t bring up the whole “kissing teacher” thing for a while. Jungsu thinks about it night and day of course, being the chronic overthinker that he was. He had heavily weighed his options. He could say no, refuse to take that kind of offer in lieu of wanting to keep their relationship platonic and pure. Jungsu had worked hard to be someone Jooyeon could rely on, and the fact that he felt comfortable enough to even ask for such a thing was touching.
But Jungsu just couldn’t get past the feeling of apprehension he felt when he tried to picture how they would do it. Even if it was just a kiss, it felt too massive, too important a moment to be casually approached. Jungsu would never be able to fix it if he fucked up. Jungsu could also say yes, resulting in him and Jooyeon kissing and possibly ruining many years of friendship and maknae-hyung interactions, and also Jungsu would probably explode. What he had been ignoring was the strong burning desire to say yes.
Jungsu had liked Jooyeon for a long time. He wasn’t sure when his feelings went past the simple desire to help a younger member, and crossed into something more romantic, but Jungsu had been acutely aware of Jooyeon and his existence for a long time. And ever since he had asked Jungsu to teach him to kiss, it was like a bell would ring whenever Jooyeon was within 30 feet of him.
Not only that, but Jungsu was noticing a particular power that Jooyeon had over him. Whenever Jooyeon interacted with him, Jungsu couldn’t stop staring at his lips. He kept imagining how soft they would be, warm and shy as Jungsu taught him how to open up. He probably tasted sweet, he was always using flavored lip balms or eating candy, chewing gum or mints. He already smelled so good, Jungsu loved the smell of his conditioner, gentle lavender and eucalyptus wafting over him whenever Jooyeon passed by. It was so cute how he looked so rough, tall and imposing and strong when they were at work, but Jungsu would watch him melt into a tender little thing when they were at home. Just a sweet smelling little pup. Jungsu absolutely didn’t think about it constantly. He also didn’t jerk himself off to the mental picture of Jooyeon, mouth bitten red and eyes dewy as he begged for more.
Absolutely not!
~~~~~
“Jungsu hyung?” Jooyeon is at the door, and Jungsu feels like he's being strangled by some evil ghost when he looks up. His maknae is wearing a loose long sleeve shirt over lounge shorts, hair damp from the shower he just took and Jungsu can feel his throat losing moisture. Fuck. “Do you guys have the blow dryer?” Hyeongjun is laying on the top bunk, the sounds of his animal crossing character gabbling tinny in Jungsu’s ears. He can see Jooyeon’s collarbones, he can see so much of his skin, it makes Jungsu dizzy.
“Uh, no.” Eloquent. Jooyeon frowns a little, clearly annoyed at the lack of a hair dryer and Jungsu wants to apologize for some reason.
“Check the bathroom in the hall, or maybe Seungminnie has it,” Hyeongjun offers, and Jooyeon nods, shooting Jungsu a smile before moving away. Jungsu makes a split second decision.
“Wait, Joo!” Jungsu hurries after him, overwhelmed and determined. Jooyeon had asked him for a favor. He was his hyung. Surely he had to say yes? Jooyeon turns in the hallway, surprised but patient as he watches Jungsu struggle with words.
“Yes, hyung?”
Jungsu can feel his heart pounding loudly in his ears. Jooyeon had looked so nice it had made something inside him snap, but was he sure? Could he handle this responsibility? To possibly change his and Jooyeon’s relationship forever? Even if Jooyeon said it wouldn't, it would change. Even just for Jungsu. He took a deep breath. “Fuck. Let’s do it.”
Jooyeon looks confused for a second and Jungsu thinks that maybe he might have to elaborate in the middle of their hallway and the thought fills him with embarrassment. “What do you- oh. ” Jungsu feels his ears flush a little but Jooyeon is beaming at him and nothing matters except for that. “You mean it hyung?” His voice is hushed, and his eyes are bright like Jungsu loves to see them.
“Yeah, I mean it.” Don’t let this be a mistake, Jungsu prays out to whatever being is listening. He was being a good hyung, that's all that mattered.
“Can we do it now?” Jooyeon is practically vibrating and Jungsu laughs. “We can go to my room! Gunil hyung is in Seungmin and Jiseok’s room, he said not to expect him back so we’ll have some privacy,” some of Jooyeon’s still damp hair is getting in his face and he pushes it back quickly.
“That sounds good,” Jungsu says, and he mentally checks if he needs to do anything before leaving Hyeongjun alone. “Do you want to dry your hair first? It’s kinda tangling.” Jooyeon winces and nods.
“Yeah, I should do that. 10 minutes?” Jungsu nods and Jooyeon races off. He can’t help the little flutter of something secret in his chest, warm and soft. He goes back into the room and sees Hyeongjun watching the door.
“Gah!” Jungsu jumps a little, and Hyeongjun blinks at him.
“So you’re doing it.” Jungsu feels his face flare with heat as he blushes.
“What are you talking about?” He tries to laugh, but his throat is dry again. He coughs a little and Hyeongjun doesn’t react.
“Look, if you’re doing it just to do it, be gentle with him. He’s been talking about this for days.” Jungsu feels both alarmed and a little relieved at the fact that someone knows his business, but he figures that Hyeongjun is as good as any person to know. “He likes you a lot, hyung. But he’s not expecting anything. So. Just be kind.” Jungsu feels a little tug at his heart. Jooyeon was so sweet of course he wouldn’t expect anything. It’s not lost on him that Hyeongjun said Jooyeon likes him, but he doesn’t ask how he likes him. He doesn’t need that right now.
“I’m not-” Hyeongjun waves him off.
“You don’t have to convince me. He’s the one that matters.” Jungsu stares at him. When did Hyeongjun get good at talking like this? He smiles.
“You’re a good friend, Jun-ah.”
“And you’re a good hyung. Don’t fuck it up.”
~~~~~
Jooyeon and Gunil’s room is quiet from the outside when Jungsu knocks. There's a flurry of movement from the other side of the door before it swings open, revealing a much drier looking Jooyeon, face flushed as he smiles widely at Jungsu.
“Hi.” Jungsu laughs lightly.
“Hey. You okay?” Jooyeon nods eagerly and waves him in.
“I found the dryer!” he says, and Jungsu looks at his shiny, soft hair.
“I see that. You look nice.” Jooyeon giggles, pretending to blush, waving a hand at Jungsu.
“Thanks, hyung.” Jungsu scans the room. It’s a little bigger than his and Hyeongjun’s but basically the same. Gunil’s side of the room looks much neater and cleaner than Jooyeon’s, but Jooyeon had clearly fixed the room up before Jungsu showed up. It’s still chaos, posters and clippings pinned to his wall, clothes hanging on a free standing rack, shoes piled up next to it. It looks comfortable and so much like Jooyeon, it makes Jungsu ache a little.
“So. How do you wanna do this?” Jooyeon bites his lip. His energy and confidence flagging a little. His hesitance is endearing and Jungsu mentally squeals. He’s so cute.
“Uh, I guess I thought we could sit on my bed? And then we can like. Do it?”
Jungsu tries not to think about the vague implications of Jooyeon’s words. The double entendres were going to kill him if he focused on them. He was just here to provide a service, and maybe get a little personal gratification. That was all. He had to be firm with himself. Jooyeon might like him enough to ask for this favor, but there was no way he was trying to make it go any further than hyung-dongsaeng. Right?
“That sounds good to me.” Jungsu sits on Jooyeon’s bed as Jooyeon puts on some music. It’s light, some kind of american soft pop, and Jungsu likes that it fills the space in the room. It makes it feel less serious and more like this is just for fun.
“This okay?” Jooyeon asks, and Jungsu gives him a thumbs up. “Cool.” He sits on the bed with a bounce and Jungsu laughs.
“Okay, so what are you wanting to get out of this?” Jooyeon looks a little surprised at his question but thinks about it for a second. Jungsu had come up with some questions during his debate about helping Jooyeon, ever the planner even when he was having a crisis.
“I guess I wanted to just…practice? Like learn how to kiss properly and then try it out.” Jooyeon looks so serious, his brow drawing together a little as he looks at Jungsu. Jungsu nods and hums. “Is that okay?” He’s so eager for approval. Jungsu nods.
“Yeah, it’s fine, I just wanted to ask what you were expecting, is all.” it would be necessary for Jungsu to settle his own wants for him to be of full use to Jooyeon. “So you’ve never kissed anyone?” Jooyeon shakes his head, hair falling in his eyes.
“Not unless you count when I was a baby, I kissed our neighbor’s daughter, my mom still talks about it sometimes.” Jungsu laughs, surprised but somehow delighted. Baby Jooyeon was such a cutie, imagining him trying to show his affection was too adorable. “Other than that, I haven’t kissed anyone.” Jooyeon curls up on the bed, legs crossed and Jungsu thinks he looks like a little deer. A little clumsy but so pretty.
“That’s a surprise.” Jooyeon makes a noise of annoyance and Jungsu raises an eyebrow.
“Why does everyone say that? Seungmin and Jiseok basically fell off the couch when I told them,” he whines, and Jungsu huffs a laugh. “It’s not a race, sexual and kissing virginity is a social construct!” Jungsu laughs harder, and Jooyeon pouts. His cheeks puff out like a hamster’s and Jungsu pokes one gently.
“Because you’re you.” Jooyeon’s brow furrows.
“The hell does that mean?”
Jungsu sighs, soft and deep. Oh Jooyeon. If only you knew what you do to me. I’m surprised no one has ever told you they feel like I do and made you kiss them.
“It means you’re a catch. You’re a sweet kid, you’re handsome and talented and you’re tall. What’s not to love?” Jooyeon’s expression flickers for a second, and Jungsu thinks maybe he imagined it. He looked a little disappointed, a little angry. But he’s grinning like a loon when Jungsu blinks, so he ignores it.
“You’re right. I guess I just haven’t found anyone who I wanted to kiss,” Jooyeon says, wide smile softening as he looks down at his blankets and picks at the threads. “I wanted it to be someone special, for my first time.” His eyes flicker up to Jungsu, something deep in his brown gaze. Jungsu feels a lump in his throat. Why was he there then? Jooyeon could have his pick of almost anyone. Why was Jungsu there?
“Which is why,” Jooyeon says, shuffling closer to Jungsu. “I need you to teach me. So I can wow them with my amazing Jungsu-hyung skills!” Jungsu bites his lip, eyes drawn to the blankets where Jooyeon had been picking at them.
“Why me?” The question lingers in the air like fog, and Jungsu almost regrets asking it. Jooyeon looks confused for a second before he eases into a comfortable look.
“You’re my favorite hyung,” he says, smiling his lopsided smile. Jungsu feels the words touch his skin like hot metal. He can almost hear the sizzling. “You told me once to come to you with anything,” Jooyeon says. Jungsu remembers how many times he’s said that to them, to Jooyeon especially. If you need anything, just come to hyung. I’ve got your back. “So here I am.” So here they are.
“Okay, let’s start then.”
Jungsu can feel his heart beating fast and hard. He moves so he’s sitting cross legged, facing Jooyeon now on the bed. They’re so close their knees are almost touching. Jungsu wants to close the gap between them but he makes himself slow down. He thinks back to his first kiss, hurried and clumsy for a game of truth or dare with his then crush. It had been kind of embarrassing, to come out of the closet with the evidence of what they had been doing all over his face. But he had liked it, at least back then. Now, Jungsu knew it had been too bitey, too suffocating and too aggressive. But little middle school Jungsu had just enjoyed the fact that he was kissing the cutest boy in school. He closed his eyes for a second, taking a breath. He has to make this better than that for Jooyeon. He opens his eyes to see him watching with a small smile.
“Lesson one: the basics.” Jooyeon’s back straightens, expression becoming serious and Jungsu bites back a smile. “Most of the time, you’re not gonna be kissing anyone with your mouth open, especially if it’s your first time. Keep your lips together but don’t pucker them, that’s just kinda weird.” Jooyeon makes an exaggerated kissy face and Jungsu laughs. “Yeah, no. Just relax and press forward a little.” Jooyeon seems to make a mental note of what Jungsu says and he nods.
“Can we try?” Jungsu feels his palms sweat a little.
“Y-yeah sure,” he says, smiling lightly. “Close your eyes.” Jooyeon obeys, face relaxed and passive as he closes them. Jungsu swallows hard then leans in. He can see Jooyeon’s lashes, can see the way his eyes skid back and forth under his eyelids as he waits for Jungsu to kiss him. Making sure to not touch any other part of him, Jungsu kisses him. Their lips touch, Jungsu fighting all his instincts to push forward, keeping it educational. A small noise of surprise escapes Jooyeon and Jungsu wills away any thoughts he could have about it. Focus! Jooyeon’s lips are soft and smooth, they're small and Jungsu’s own lips cover them easily. He tries not to think about their size difference too much, about how he has to lift himself up a little to kiss Jooyeon. Jungsu holds the kiss for a couple seconds, pursing his mouth a little so Jooyeon can push back. Jungsu pulls away, not realizing he had held his breath the whole time, gulping in a breath. He looks at Jooyeon. He’s almost glowing, hand touching his lips as he looks at Jungsu with stars in his eyes. He looks like he ascended into heaven and came back, Jungsu almost expects a halo to be floating above his head.
“Wow.” Jungsu laughs breathlessly.
“Yeah.” Jooyeon licks his lips subconsciously and Jungsu tries not to watch and fails.
“Wanna go again?” Jungsu asks, and Jooyeon almost jumps at the offer. “This time, you kiss me. Remember to keep it light, but not too light.” Jooyeon nods sagely. He pats his mouth briefly to make sure it’s not wet (even though Jungsu selfishly wished he hadn’t) before he grins at Jungsu.
“Close your eyes hyung.” Jungsu does, and it scares him a little. In the dark he can’t see how close Jooyeon is, if he can see Jungsu’s expectant expression, if he’s panicking. He grits his teeth and forces himself to sit still. He can feel Jooyeon getting closer, their knees bump and Jungsu flinches a little.
“Sorry,” Jooyeon whispers, and Jungsu can feel his warm breath on his mouth. He almost opens his mouth to say it’s fine, but then Jooyeon kisses him. The pressure is light at first, just like he had shown him. The pressure increases enough so Jungsu is aware of the shape of Jooyeon’s mouth, and he reminds himself to breathe. Jooyeon’s kind of a natural, his head is tilted enough to make sure their noses don’t crash and his mouth is closed, all of which was pretty standard with a first kiss. He can feel Jooyeon’s breath on his upper lip, can feel the warmth emanating from him in waves, and Jungsu feels like he's floating. Jooyeon pulls away but stays close, enough so he can look Jungsu right in the eyes.
“Was that okay?” He’s whispering and Jungsu feels like that's appropriate. Speaking at full volume would’ve shattered the atmosphere, the bubble they’re in now.
“It was perfect. You’re a natural, Joo.” He’s whispering too. Jooyeon glows at the praise and Jungsu wants to lick the taste of him off his own lips. He settles for touching his mouth and then laying his hands in his lap, moving back so Jooyeon can straighten up. “Okay, so after that,” Jungsu says, his voice a little louder. “You can do something a little more advanced.” Jooyeon tilts his head curiously and Jungsu’s mouth lifts at the corner. “It won’t be anything too crazy but it’s a little more than just a regular kiss.” Jooyeon nods and scoots closer. He closes his eyes and Jungsu takes a breath. Don’t fuck it up.
Jungsu leans in, hand coming up to cup Jooyeon’s cheek. Jooyeon’s eyes flicker like he wants to open them but they stay closed. Jungsu pushes on, kissing him like he had before, but this time he opens his mouth a little. His lips slot with Jooyeon’s, like puzzle pieces, and Jungsu can all but taste him in his mouth. His mind is racing and his heart is pounding and he wants to keep going, push and push and take everything Jooyeon can give him. But he controls himself, instead focusing on the softness of Jooyeon’s mouth, the way his skin feels against the palm of his hand, the soft sigh that escapes him. Jungsu wants to use his tongue but he refrains from doing so, instead tilting his head and kissing Jooyeon again. He speeds up a little, leaving faster kisses before slowing back down and then increasing the rate again. Jooyeon seems to enjoy that, small noises leaving him and making it hard for Jungsu to focus. If he doesn’t keep his act together he would forget the whole reason for this.
“Hyung,” Jooyeon gasps between kisses, and Jungsu stops, pulling away and holding him in his hands. Jooyeon’s hand comes up to hold Jungsu’s where it’s touching his face. “My turn?” Jungsu smiles, leaving one final kiss on his lips and nodding. He lets go of Jooyeon’s face and leans back. Jooyeon shifts, his long legs must be aching now after being folded up for so long.
“You wanna take a break?” Jooyeon looks a little alarmed at the idea of stopping and he shakes his head. Jungsu chuckles.
“I’m fine. Can I just-?” Jooyeon seems to grow shy and he stops talking. Jungsu nudges him. That seems to encourage him enough and he finishes his thought. “Can I sit on your lap?” Jungsu’s brain fizzes like water on a hot pan. You what? Jooyeon looks so shy, his eyes glancing between Jungsu and the wall as he tries to decipher Jungsu’s reaction.
“I,” Jungsu says, intelligently.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Joooyeon rushes to say, and Jungsu wants to scream and cry into the pillows around them. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, it’s that he wants to, too much. “I’m like, kind of too tall and-” Jungsu grabs him by the hips and tugs him closer.
“Sit.” Jooyeon’s eyes are doe-wide, and he moves quickly. Jungsu scoots back so his back is leaning on a pillow against the wall, and Jooyeon follows with ease. He throws his leg over Jungsu’s hips and settles on his upper thighs, the pressure both satisfying and terrifying. Jungsu squirms for a second, trying not to make it obvious that he’s trying to make sure Jooyeon’s ass is not touching his dick. He can't risk any contact, not if he wants to keep this as pure as he hoped he could. Jooyeon is towering over him now, his hair falling down in a smooth curtain of pink and black, eyes shy but eager as he leans over Jungsu. His cheeks are pink now, he looks more affected by this than anything else they’d done until now and Jungsu feels a little bit pleased by that. He tries not to be distracted by the way Jooyeon’s flush runs down his neck and along what he can see of his chest. His shirt is so loose, Jungsu could crane his neck and see his whole torso under the white fabric. He clears his throat.
“Is this okay hyung?” Jungsu nods. He lifts a hand to tuck some of Jooyeon’s loose hair behind his ear. He puts his hands on Jungsu’s shoulders, then leans down and Jungsu feels his body tingle the moment their mouths meet again. Jooyeon is scarily good at replicating what Jungsu did to him, his lips parting enough to slot them with Jungsu’s, the slightest bit of dampness from the inside of his mouth touching Jungsu’s skin. He feels a little insane, the feeling of Jooyeon all around him, on his lap, on his mouth. He feels like he could breathe Jooyeon in, and he moves his hands to hold Jooyeon’s waist. It’s small enough Jungsu could span the whole thing if he pressed harder, the thought making his head spin. He’s so warm under Jungsu’s hands, he can barely hold on to his will. Jooyeon runs his hands up his shoulders, along his collarbones, to his neck, where his fingers trace his adam’s apple, feeling his pulse. They move together, shifting and turning like they can read each other’s minds, mouths finding each other easily every time. Jungsu swallows, moving back so he can breathe for a second.
“You sure this is your first time?” he laughs, and Jooyeon grins.
“Yeah, promise.'' His hands cup Jungsu’s face tenderly and Jungsu turns slightly to kiss the palm of his left hand, eyes meeting his. “Thanks hyung.” Jungsu bites his lip and smiles.
“Of course, Joo.” Jooyeon leans down to rest his forehead against Jungsu’s, his breathing evening out as he closes his eyes.
“Jungsu hyung I-”
“Lee Jooyeon!”
There went their privacy.
'*•.¸♡ 🐱🐺 ♡¸.•*'
“Hyung!” Jungsu looks around, looking for the source of the voice. There’s no one in the hallway, he looks back at the vending machine he had just walked to. No one. “Hyung! In here!” Jungsu turns to see the cracked open door of the closet right outside their dressing room. He pushed into the room, gaze scanning over the racks of clothing their stylists had brought, trying to see the owner of the voice.
“Boo!” Jooyeon jumped up from behind a rack of sparkly jackets and Jungsu jumped a little, making Jooyeon giggle like a maniac.
“Joo, what are you doing in here?”
“I dunno,” Jooyeon relaxes into his usual smile. “It’s quiet here. Wanted a break from the dressing room.” Jungsu understood that, he himself had escaped the busy dressing room to just walk to the vending machine. Sometimes it could be too much at once, even for someone like Jooyeon, who loved being in the middle of chaos.
“It’s kinda nice in here,” Jungsu agrees. The sounds of the dressing room and the busy halls of the venue were muffled in here, absorbed by the clothing and leaving a peaceful hum of the air con. Jooyeon bites his lip, flipping through some of the clothes on the rack in front of him.
“So,” he said, and Jungsu raised an eyebrow.
“So?” His eyes lifted and looked eager. “Can we practice?” Jungsu feels a shock of heat, knows his face is probably red, but he looks away from Jooyeon. He doesn’t trust himself to look at him at that moment.
“Here?” He can’t keep the disbelief out of his voice. If someone walked in… they’d be in enough trouble to last them a lifetime. Jooyeon pouts.
“We didn’t get to practice after last time, it’s been weeks hyung!” His voice is getting whiny and Jungsu has to cough to hide his smile. He’s amused at Jooyeon’s eagerness, flushed from the way he had looked at him, with such raw want. Everything about Jooyeon was go, go, go, Jungsu wished he could let himself be carried away like that. But the pestering knowledge that they weren’t anything more than bandmates made him balk. He had to keep his head in the game. Jooyeon was just asking for experience, not anything else. “No one’s been in here for a while,” Jooyeon says. “If we stay quiet and behind the racks…?” Jungsu glances at the door. He looks back at Jooyeon’s puppy eyes. Goddamn it.
“Okay but we can’t take too long, we’re on soon.” Jooyeon perks up and bounds over to him.
“Come over here, you can’t see from the doorway.” Jungsu lets himself be dragged over to a corner of the room, bracketed by two racks of clothes, spacious enough for them both but enough coverage for them to move without being seen. “Can I go first?” Jooyeon is breathless, even though they haven’t done much, and Jungsu realizes he is too. A thrill runs through him as he sees the way Jooyeon keeps looking at his mouth, like he can’t help it. He’s pushing Jungsu against the wall gently, hand on his shoulder.
“Yeah,” Jungsu smiles, and he’s still smiling when Jooyeon’s mouth meets his. Jungsu hadn’t realized how much he had missed kissing Jooyeon, but his body felt like it was relaxing after being tense for days. It had been more than a week since they had been rudely interrupted by Jiseok claiming that Jooyeon had his limited edition Charizard XD, screaming bloody murder. For Jungsu it felt longer than just a few days. His hands go to Jooyeon’s hair, careful with the hair pins keeping most of it back, running through the soft ends of the layer underneath the little bun he was styled in. Both their lips are slick with chapstick and Jungsu kind of likes the way they smear together, the feeling almost dirty. Jooyeon is so careful, his hands gentle as he runs them up Jungsu’s shoulders to cup his cheeks, mumbling something under his breath as he tilts his head. Jungsu smiles a little, and he reaches his other hand up to loop his arms around Jooyeon’s neck. It can’t be more than a minute, but it feels like an eternity passes before Jooyeon pulls back, leaning his forehead on Jungsu’s as he just breathes. Jungsu bites his lip.
“You wanna learn what’s next?” he whispers, feeling reckless in the quiet little room and Jooyeon nods. Jungsu laughs lightly and he straightens up. “Keep your lips parted a little.” he instructs, and Jooyeon obeys immediately. “I brushed my teeth earlier by the way,” Jungsu says, smirking a little when Jooyeon blinks at him. He pulls him along by the neck and Jooyeon goes easy, until they’re so close the little flecks of glitter on Jooyeon’s face are blinding. Jungsu brings their mouths together, his own lips parted. He traces the edge of Jooyeon’s bottom lip with his tongue, relishing in the taste of artificial cherry and the gasp Jooyeon lets out. He seals his lips around Jooyeon’s, letting his tongue add to the motion of his lips, and when he pulls away Jooyeon chases after him.
“More,” he breathes, and Jungsu doesn’t have to be told twice. “Keep your mouth open baby,” he says, and Jooyeon whimpers lightly against his lips at the pet name. He blossoms like a flower under Jungsu’s tongue, lips parting and letting him trace the edge of his front teeth, lick across the plush of his bottom lip and when he catches it in between his teeth Jooyeon makes a sound that goes straight to Jungsu’s cock.
“I wanna try.” Jooyeon’s voice is thick with some emotion Jungsu can’t quite place, and he lets his arms fall down to hold Jooyeon by the waist. He nods and Jooyeon surges forward. Ever the quick learner, Jooyeon replicates what Jungsu showed him. His tongue is warm and wet as it laves over Jungsu’s bottom lip, tracing the edges of his mouth and pushes forward ever so slightly, even when Jungsu didn’t teach him that. Jungsu doesn’t complain, just pants softly as Jooyeon pulls back enough to find a new angle of attack. It feels so good, Jungsu’s whole body is tingling, his hands feel hot and heavy around Jooyeon’s warm waist, he can feel every point of contact with Jooyeon. His hands, his shoulders, and now Jooyeon is pushing forward with his whole body and his legs slot between Jungsu’s.
He’s hard.
Jungsu is hard in his pants, he can feel it when Jooyeon’s thigh brushes up against it as he slides his tongue into Jungsu’s mouth, a pleasured noise muted by the sound of their slick mouths. No. He needs to stop. Jooyeon could probably feel him, and then things would get messy quick. Besides, if Jungsu let himself, he would just rub his cock against Jooyeon’s thigh until he came in his pants and then there would be a real problem. Jungsu doesn’t want to pull away but he does, pushing Jooyeon by the shoulders. They both pant in the quiet, Jungsu can see the glint of his spit on Jooyeon’s lips and he wants to hide in the racks but also pin Jooyeon to the wall and fuck him till he cried. The thought alarms Jungsu and he closes his eyes, covering his face.
“We should stop,” he says, quietly.
“Why?” Jooyeon says, the complaint plain in his voice.
“We just. I can’t right now,” Jungsu says, and he opens his eyes to see Jooyeon standing there. He looks so small, confused and a little bit angry.
“I thought I was doing okay…” his voice trails off as he frowns, eyes looking for an answer that Jungsu can’t give him.
“God no,” he says, unable to let him believe he’s anything short of perfect. His little star maknae. “No, you were fine, you were great!” Jooyeon’s frown deepens.
“Then why-”
“Fuck, Jooyeon, I said I can’t okay?” Jooyeon looks hurt by his words, surprised at the sharpness of his tone. Jungsu wants to take it all back. “Look. You’re doing great. I just. We shouldn’t be doing this right now, we’re working.”
“So when can we?” Jungsu freezes. “I could feel how much you want this hyung,” Jooyeon says, voice soft. He looks so young all of the sudden, so tender as he reaches out for Jungsu, tries to touch his shoulder. Jungsu blocks him with his arm.
“Don’t.” Jooyeon pulls back like he touched hot metal. “We shouldn’t be doing this!” Jungsu doesn’t know why he feels so panicked, maybe it's the fact that for so long he hid his feelings, maybe it was because Jooyeon now knew how much he was affected by him, or maybe it was the sharp spike of guilt running through his body because he was so worked up when Jooyeon clearly wasn’t. He had ruined something that was otherwise a special moment with his own disgusting desires.
“Hyung,” Jungsu can barely look at Jooyeon. “I want it too. Please.” Jungsu can see the edges of Jooyeon’s mouth turning down. He can see the watery lines in his eyes, and Jungsu feels his will break.
“You don’t even know what you want, you're a kid!” The room is deadly silent for several painfully long seconds. “We gotta go, we’re on soon.” Jooyeon’s face becomes passive, stoic.
“Fuck you, hyung.” It's broken, caught in Jooyeon’s throat. Jungsu pushes past him and runs.
'*•.¸♡ 🐱🐺 ♡¸.•*'
Jooyeon was ignoring him. Jungsu didn’t think it would be this painful, he expected to be relieved, since Jooyeon was avoiding him it meant that he could forget about their agreement, about the weird kissing lessons and he could just put it all behind him. But he couldn’t. Jooyeon’s cold shoulder was severe, he wouldn’t answer to anything unless it came from the other members (usually Jiseok), and anything that Jungsu heard about him was from them. And it hurt. Granted, Jungsu figured he kind of deserved it. Hyeongjun was also pretty mad at him, not that he was cold shouldering Jungsu, quite the contrary, he was talking so much Jungsu felt like someone had switched him out for a different version of himself.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jungsu had been minding his business, playing a little stardew valley before bed when Hyeongjun came in, closed the door and unleashed hell.
“Huh?”
“You. Kim Jungsu. You’re a fucking jerk, you know that?” Jungsu is now gaping, because he doesn’t think he’s heard Hyeongjun curse since he was a trainee, and that was only because he stubbed his toe. “I told you not to hurt him.” Jungsu feels like this is a little aggressive, and opens his mouth to say so but Hyeongjun cuts him off at the knees.
“No, fuck you! You can’t treat him like he’s some kind of toy, like you can kiss him when you want then when you get scared about the emotional consequences, you run off. That’s bullshit.” Jungsu feels like laughing, but he knows that would probably end badly for him. He sits in his chair, the faint sounds of his game still playing in the background as Hyeongjun finishes yelling at him.
“I can’t believe I thought this would work, Jooyeon deserves so much better than you.” Jungsu blinks. Hyeongjun was right. Jooyeon deserved someone way better than him. Someone who could actually be there for him as more than a hyung, someone who could love him without feeling like he was stealing someone’s choices away. “You don’t get to feel bad about this,” Hyeongjun says, coming closer to stab at him with one slender finger. His brows are bunched up, eyes practically on fire. “You’re the problem!” Jungsu gently moves his finger away, returning it to his side.
“You’re right.”
“Yeah I’m fucking right! Wait, what?” Jungsu snorts at the way Hyeongjun stares at him, surprised.
“I fucked up. You’re right. I didn’t want to hurt him but I did anyways,” he rubs his eyes, suddenly tired and annoyed at himself.
“Then why the hell are you here and not in his room begging for him to forgive you?” Hyeongjun crosses his arms, looking more and more like an angry mother.
“Because,” Jungsu takes a breath. “Because even though I hurt his feelings, I still think we should stop…doing that.” Jungsu can’t even spit out the words. He leans back in his chair, fiddling with the mouse to the computer.
“Who the hell are you to make choices about something that involves someone else?” Jungsu feels a little annoyed at Hyeongjun. Couldn’t he see that he was trying to be a good hyung? To be mature and responsible by avoiding anything from happening that might be regrettable?
“We can’t-” Hyeongjun waves his hand.
“Can’t what? He’s an adult too hyung. You know that. He can make his own choices. And he chose you. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” Jungsu feels his heart throb. Hyeongjun had no idea how much it meant to be chosen. He felt so happy to help Jooyeon, he was able to ignore his own desperation for more. Wasn’t that clear?
“It didn’t mean anything to him, it was just a few lessons,” Jungsu says, and Hyeongjun sighs, touching his forehead like he needed to lay down for a moment.
“Jooyeon likes you hyung. He wanted an excuse to kiss you, so he made that shit up about kissing.” Jungsu sits very still. He feels like someone threw cold water down his back.
“What?” Hyeongjun rolls his eyes.
“I mean, he made some of it up. He’s never kissed anyone but he just wanted to get you to kiss him. Jiseok told him he could get you to help him if he asked, and they came up with that whole thing.” Jungsu can’t believe his ears. Jooyeon? Made that up? He knew Jungsu would do anything for him, so he asked him to- Jungsu felt dizzy.
“Why-why would he do that?” Hyeongjun gave him a look.
“He likes you. Like, likes you likes you. Why else would he do that?” Hyeongjun sighs again, and Jungsu can’t do anything but sit very still. If Jooyeon actually liked him. Then. “Don’t be fucking stupid hyung,” Hyeongjun says, softness finally touching the edge of his voice.
“Don’t let him go.”
'*•.¸♡ 🐱🐺 ♡¸.•*'
Jooyeon was gone. Jungsu had been looking for him for an hour, looking everywhere he usually lurked during their days off. He wasn’t with Jiseok, which was the most alarming in Jungsu’s opinion, even though no one seemed to be too concerned.
“He’ll turn up, he’s probably at the studio.” Seungmin is too busy trying to run Hyeongjun off the road in Mario Kart to even look up at Jungsu. Jiseok was in his room watching some anime and he said he hadn’t seen his better half since lunch. Gunil shrugs helpfully when Jungsu asks if he’s seen Jooyeon.
“I think he said he was going for a walk, but I haven’t seen him since I got home from the gym.” Jungsu frowns.
“Where would he go?” Gunil smiles sympathetically.
“I dunno. Maybe he just needs some space, I’m sure he’s fine. He has his phone with him, he’ll call us if he needs us.” Jungsu can’t take that as an answer. He checks his phone for messages before he remembers that Jooyeon isn’t speaking to him. He tries to ask Hyeongjun for help but gets a glance and a mumbled “You’ll find him eventually.” So basically he’s fucked. He sits on the edge of his bed and thinks.
He had checked the whole of their dorm, gone down to the studio and checked all the usual spots, checked their favorite convenience store, the food carts down the street, asked their manager if he had seen him, he was running out of options. Jungsu closed his eyes and wished he hadn’t been so stupid. Maybe this was karma. After being a shitty hyung and a worse friend, he was reduced to having to never be able to fix his stupid mistakes. He tapped on Jooyeon’s contact and tapped ‘call.’ the phone rang for what seemed an eternity before he was sent to voicemail. Jungsu pulled up their messages. The last time he texted Jooyeon was almost a week ago, it was a little blue heart, so round and shiny in the little bubble. He felt something twist in his chest, ugly and painful. He remembered how he felt when he had texted that to Jooyeon. He couldn’t do this. He had to find Jooyeon.
After racking his brains, Jungsu decided to head to the Han river. The sun was setting early, the air growing sharper and colder in the dimming winter light. There were still a lot of couples out by the river, biking and picnicking in the golden aura of the Han river park. Jungsu scanned the crowd for the tall, dark figure, searched every head of long black hair for pink, looked for the color of Jooyeon’s favorite gray puffer.
He hoped he was at least wearing the puffer, it was bitterly cold today, and the sun setting didn’t help. Jungsu wished he had been able to find his hat, but it was gone from its usual spot, and he had been hurried enough to not bother looking for it. He had tugged on his own heavy coat and left the dorm in a rush. There was no one by the bike racks, no one by the boat rental, no one by the picnic tables. Fucking hell, how could he lose a fucking 6 foot plus manchild? Jungsu was getting frustrated.
He took his phone out, blowing puffs of his breath out like clouds of smoke as he looked for Jooyeon’s contact. He called him again, this time trying to look at the same time, looking for someone picking up their phone. He runs down the path next to the river, trying not to run into any of the small children who are walking with their parents, bundled in little hats and cute boots. He turns, eyes burning in the cold as he keeps searching. The call goes to voicemail.
“Fuck!” he mutters, redialing. He goes further into the park, looking along the edge of the park, towards the nearly empty playground. Nearly empty, except for a tall figure, one too big to be a child. It’s hunched on the swings, not moving. Wearing a gray puffer and a hat. Wait. That hat. It was Jungsu’s hat.
“Jooyeon-ah!” The name comes out of Jungsu’s mouth before he can stop it. Jooyeon turns, clearly on instinct, because he seems to catch himself before he turns back around, sitting very still. But it’s too late, Jungsu had seen his side profile, the streak of pink under the white of Jungsu’s favorite hat. Jungsu hangs up the still ringing call and storms over to the swings, half blind by the cold wind and the intense emotion he feels.
“Where the hell have you been?” Jungsu can feel his face heating up from pure fury. “Why didn’t you say where you were going? You scared the shit out of me!” Some of the people on the other side of the park look over at Jungsu’s raised voice. He clears his throat and bows apologetically. Jooyeon doesn’t look at him. He looks past Jungsu, his eyes darting between the ground and whatever is behind him. “Jooyeon, please. I was so scared something had happened to you.” Jungsu’s voice tapers down into a whisper, and he thinks Jooyeon didn’t hear him, until he whispers back.
“I’m fine, aren’t I?” Jungsu sighs.
“Yeah, but what if you weren’t? What would I have done if you were hurt, or lost, or-”
“I’m not a fucking kid!” Jooyeon stands up so suddenly and speaks so loudly Jungsu can’t do anything but just gape at him. He can hear the people behind them murmuring in surprise too. “Stop treating me like I'm four years old hyung, I'm literally fine. Just leave me alone.” He starts to leave but Jungsu grabs his arm.
“Let go!” Jooyeon writhes like a snake trying to get away but Jungsu holds on.
“No.” Hyeongjun’s words ring in his head. Don’t let him go. “No, not until you listen to me and talk,” Jooyeon’s face is growing pink with exertion and he looks upset, Jungsu wants to let go. But he can’t.
“Don’t you get it? I don't want to talk to you hyung, let go!” He tugs his arm out of the sleeve of his coat and sheds it, leaving Jungsu with his puffer as he starts to run. Jungsu stands there with the coat in his hand for a few seconds before he chases after Jooyeon. Jooyeon is sprinting for the trees, trying to lose Jungsu in the grassy plane, but Jungsu digs in his feet and pushes hard. The cold air stabs at his lungs but he catches up to Jooyeon quickly. He tries to grab Jooyeon’s arm, but ends up overshooting and they crash, tumbling to the ground as Jungsu holds onto Jooyeon’s waist, trying to cushion their land with his own body. They roll for a few seconds on the cold grass, thankfully missing any stones or gnarled roots in the ground before stopping at the base of a tall tree with orange leaves. Jungsu looks up at the sky and thinks that maybe karma is having fun messing with him a little too much.
“Are you okay?” He can feel Jooyeon’s warm body against his, his skin like coals under his clothes. Jooyeon nods. He seems to become aware that they're basically spooning only after Jungsu sits up a little, and he yanks himself away like he was burned. “What's wrong?” Jungsu asks, worried that he hurt himself.
“I didn’t think you wanted me to be touching you,” Jooyeon says, venom in his voice. “But maybe that’s something you decided on your own without telling me.” Jungsu winces. Okay, fair.
“Look Joo, I’m here to talk to you, I’ve been looking for you all day-”
“You should’ve just stayed home.” Jooyeon snatches his puffer out of Jungsu’s hands and starts tugging it on. He’s angry, Jungsu can see the lines of his brows furrowing, his jaw hard and set as he avoids looking at Jungsu.
“If you’re such an adult, you’d stay and listen to me. Only kids run away from their problems.” Jungsu thinks that maybe he could’ve come up with something more reasonable to say, but it stops Jooyeon. He turns, looking incredulous.
“You’re one to fucking talk.” Jungsu groans internally. He’s right, again.
“Jooyeon. Please. I just want to talk.” Jungsu thinks that Jooyeon’s tight expression flickers, but he continues to frown, not making eye contact again. He finishes putting his coat back on but stays seated, legs bent at the knees as he sits next to Jungsu. He doesn’t look up. There’s a heavy silence between them until Jooyeon turns to look at him.
“Well?” he says. Jungsu clears his throat, turning to him.
“I know I fucked up.” Jooyeon snorts.
“That’s the polite way to say it.” Jungsu grits his teeth.
“I royally fucked up. I shouldn’t have made a choice about us without asking first. I was stupid. And scared.” Jooyeon looks up at him, his face neutral but his eyes surprised. “I don’t think you know what you do to me.” Jungsu takes a breath, looking down at his hands, now twisting in his lap. “I’ve never had to deal with feeling like this. I’ve never liked anyone this much. When you asked me to teach you how to kiss, I panicked, I thought that you somehow knew about my feelings, and I got nervous. I thought it was a prank,” he admitted. “But when you said you were serious, I thought it was just that. Just lessons.” Jooyeon makes a sound of disbelief and Jungsu laughs softly. “I know. I just.” He looks up at Jooyeon, who looks beautiful even though they just rolled through the actual dirt in the middle of a park. He’s touched by the bands of orange light from the setting sun, hair glowing, face flushed from running and the cold, his lips parted as he watches Jungsu pour his heart out. He looks like an angel. Jungsu feels his heart swell.
“I didn’t think you wanted me like I wanted you. I thought I was just being your hyung. But Hyeongjun told me-” Jooyeon groans and closes his eyes. Jungsu laughs, reaching out for Jooyeon’s hand. He doesn’t resist, but doesn’t move either. Jungsu takes his hand, lacing their fingers. Jooyeon is looking at the grass by his shoes, gaze unfocused as Jungsu finishes speaking. “He told me what you had wanted from the beginning. I’m sorry I hurt you. I wasn’t a good hyung.” He watches Jooyeon, hoping his words had met their mark.
“You were pretty shitty, actually. Even though I wasn’t totally honest, you were a real dick.” Jooyeon says, and when he looks up, his eyes are glossy with unshed tears. Jungsu feels his heart tug and he bites his lip.
“I know,” he says, “I’m so sorry Joo. You’re not a kid to me, not anymore. You haven’t been a kid to me in a long time, I was just stupid, I was worried and scared, and I didn’t want to hurt you,” Jungsu says, feeling his throat closing up and his eyes sting. Jooyeon nods, sniffling. They sit there for a moment, or maybe hours, Jungsu isn’t sure, but he can feel his fingertips growing cold. He shifts his hand to let go of Jooyeon, feeling nervous about his silence, but then he feels Jooyeon’s hand tighten around his.
“Is it still past tense?” Jungsu rubs his eyes with his free hand and frowns.
“What?” Jooyeon looks at him, tears running down his cheeks.
“You said ‘wanted.’ You ‘wanted’ me. Is it still past tense?” Jooyeon is looking right at him, eyes more honest than they ever had been. And Jungsu feels his heart soar.
“No, it’s not. I still want you, I still do, I always will.” Jooyeon laughs through his tears, and Jungsu hugs him. The embrace is warm and tight and it fills Jungsu with so much hope and joy and emotions he can’t even name. They pull apart and Jungsu cups Jooyeon’s face with his cold hands and wipes his tears away with his thumbs. “Can you forgive me? For being a bad hyung?” Jooyeon beams at him, teary eyed but bright as the sun. “I guess so,” he says, and they both laugh.
“I’m sorry too. I should’ve figured out a better way to tell you the truth about how I felt.” Jungsu shakes his head.
“It’s okay. I just wish it could’ve gone better.” Jooyeon hums, wiping his eyes.
“Me too.” Jungsu feels light as a cloud. He helps Jooyeon wipe his face and he zips up his coat for him. They're still sitting on the ground, the cold wind biting even when Jungsu feels warm inside. Jooyeon looks at him with something indescribable, something Jungsu wants more of. He wants to kiss him so badly, Jungsu feels it in his very soul.
“Can we practice?” he asks, voice soft and Jooyeon grows quiet.
“Right now?” Jooyeon glances around nervously. They’re hidden away in between the trees, they can’t even see the playground from here, and the other side is the edge of the wall of a bridge across the water. There’s no one around.
“Yeah,” Jungsu breathes. “You nervous?” Jooyeon seems to take that as a challenge.
“Never.” and he surges up to kiss Jungsu. The kiss is warm and wet and salty from Jooyeon’s tears, and Jungsu can feel himself smiling into it. He holds Jooyeon close, relishing the softness of his mouth and the familiarity of the motions, the tenderness with which Jooyeon clings to his coat sleeves, hands firm. He feels a pit of fire open up in his belly and he pulls away.
“I missed you so much,” he says, and Jooyeon huffs a laugh.
“Did you really?” Jungsu pouts playfully and nods.
“I did. Ask Jiseok, he was annoyed the whole time.” Jooyeon giggles, and Jungsu tucks a loose strand of his hair behind his ear. “Also Hyeongjun basically hates me, so if you could put in a good word…” Jooyeon rolls his eyes.
“He doesn’t hate you hyung. He just loves me more,” he grins. Jungsu pretends to fall over in shock, and Jooyeon laughs. Jungsu can’t get enough of that sound. They sit on the ground for a little while longer before the cold starts to get unbearable and the darkness of night really starts to settle in. Jungsu gets up first and offers his hand to Jooyeon who takes it happily. He doesn’t let go even after they’ve gotten up.
“Why’d you take my hat?” Jungsu asks, tightening his grip on Jooyeon’s hand. Jooyeon tucks their hands in his puffer jacket as they start walking home.
“I dunno, it’s warm.” Jungsu hums.
“It wasn’t to spite me then,” he says, raising his eyebrows. Jooyeon pretends to be interested in the glowing streetlights.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
'*•.¸♡ 🐱🐺 ♡¸.•*'
When they get back to the dorm, they find it mysteriously void of any inhabitants, something that piques Jooyeon’s interest as he goes looking for everyone. Jungsu checks his phone and sees a message from Gunil and Hyeongjun. The one from Gunil reads that they went out to eat and would be back later, and that if they wanted anything from outside they should text him, the one from Hyeongjun is just a simple ‘Your welcome.’ That sneaky kid.
“Hyung, where’d they go?” Jooyeon calls, and Jungsu texts back a response to both before looking up to see Jooyeon coming into the living room.
“They went out for dinner, they’ll be back later.” Jooyeon hums, before he looks at Jungsu with a smirk and something in his eyes that makes that familiar warmth fill Jungsu’s stomach.
“Wanna practice again hyung?”
~~~~~
Jooyeon’s definitely a natural. Jungsu can tell he’s into this, the soft noises he lets out enough evidence that he’s enjoying this as much as Jungsu is. They’re laying on Jungsu’s bed, wrapped in warm light from his desk lamp and the fairy lights Hyeongjun has over his bed, and Jungsu think’s Jooyeon looks like perfection. He’s laying under Jungsu, his hair spread like a pool of pink and black ink on Jungsu’s pillow, surely leaving behind his sweet smell, a thought that makes Jungsu sigh into the kiss. Jooyeon is so eager now, like he wants to catch up on missed time. He licks into Jungsu’s mouth like he wants to taste every part of him, tongue hot as he tangles it with Jungsu’s. He nips lightly on Jungsu’s bottom lip and Jungsu groans, a sound that makes Jooyeon giggle softly.
“You sound good hyung,” he says, eyes bright with arousal as he looks up at Jungsu. He loops his arms around Jungsu’s neck and tugs him down. “Missed this.” Jungsu feels his will crumble and he kisses Jooyeon with the passion he feels surge in his body at his words.
“I missed hearing you,” Jungsu says against his mouth, and Jooyeon whines softly. “My little puppy,” he says, half serious, but Jooyeon’s responding whimper makes his stomach churn with heat. “Fuck, you like that? You like being my puppy?” Jooyeon moans into his mouth and pulls away enough to turn his head to the side, face red as he tries to hide how much it affects him. But Jungsu can feel him getting hard in his jeans, and suddenly he has to see it, has to see how much it’s affecting Jooyeon. “My poor pup, was hyung mean?” Jooyeon looks up at him, eyes both overwhelmed and hungry for more. He looks a little confused too, like he’s not sure what’s happening to him, and Jungsu is reminded of how new it is to him, to both of them really.
“It’s okay,” he says, both to soothe Jooyeon and as part of the role he feels himself slipping into. “Hyung wants to make it better,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss Jooyeon’s jaw tenderly, breathing in every bit of him he can. Jooyeon moans quietly, his arms still around Jungsu as he nuzzles into the crook of his neck, kissing his way down to the soft spot between his shoulder and neck. Jungsu bites him before soothing it with his tongue, and Jooyeon’s hips jump at that, his voice breaking on Jungsu’s name.
“J-Jungsu hyung,” he breathes, and Jungsu hums. There's a pause where their breath fills the silence. “Don’t stop please,” he says, and Jungsu smiles against his skin. He keeps kissing Jooyeon’s neck, feeling every moan in response go straight to his cock, his pants growing increasingly tighter with each passing moment. Jooyeon is squirming under him, and Jungsu pulls back enough to admire his handiwork. His neck and collarbones are pink and red, a flush across his face as he hides behind his hands, and Jungsu gently lowers them with his own hands.
“Is the puppy shy?” Jooyeon looks dazed, eyes slightly unfocused and mouth parted slightly as he pants.
“Yeah,” he says, the word drifting into a moan as Jungsu situates his thigh between Jooyeon’s legs, pressing up against Jooyeon’s steadily hardening cock. Jungsu can feel him, long and thick, and he feels his own cock pulse. He’d been waiting for so long to have Jooyeon like this.
“You shy? But your little cock isn’t.” Jooyeon whines, hiding his face as he steadily reddens under Jungsu’s words. “Don’t hide your pretty face, baby.” He lowers the younger’s hands again, this time kissing him when he can see his face. “I want to see you when I make you feel good.” Jooyeon can barely make any surprised noise before Jungsu starts to kiss his way down his torso over his shirt. Jooyeon lets him, voice constantly wavering between Jungsu’s name and a wordless whine. Jungsu lifts the hem of his shirts, pushing it up under Jooyeon’s armpits, tucking the fabric there to keep it from rolling down. Uncovering the seemingly endless span of Jooyeon’s chest and stomach. He has a cute tummy, plush to the touch but with the curve of muscle faint under it. It’s pulled tight as his muscles respond to the pleasure of Jungsu kissing his waist, over his belly button and between his pecs.
“What do you want, pup?” Jooyeon moans helplessly, and Jungsu reaches up to tweak his rosy nipples, the sound sharply rising from Jooyeon into a whimper. “You want hyung to touch you?” Jooyeon nods, brow furrowing. “Where?” Jooyeon seems to lose his voice, his red cheeks showing his reluctance to voice his wants. Jungsu hums.
“If you can’t tell me where, I guess I have to figure it out myself.” Jungsu takes one of Jooyeon’s nipples into his mouth and sucks hard. Jooyeon’s back arches, pushing his chest further into Jungsu’s mouth as he cries out, voice cracking.
“Hyung! Ah!” He squirms as Jungsu tugs the other one with his hand, pinching it into full hardness. Jungsu keeps his thigh firmly in place between Jooyeon’s legs, not encouraging his humping but not stopping it. If Jooyeon wanted anything else from him, he’d have to ask. Jungsu kept playing with his nipples, pulling and tugging on the one he wasn’t licking and nibbling, switching between them until they were both puffy and red. Jooyeon is on the verge of tears, his words slurring slightly as he teeters on the edge of some kind of zoned out headspace and the intense pleasure coming from Jungsu.
“S’too much hyung, please,” he moans, and Jungsu kisses his nipple one last time. “Too much? Or not enough?” Jooyeon reaches down for his shoulders, pulling him back up. “You gonna answer me puppy?” Jooyeon whines, his bottom lip sticking out.
“Wan’ kiss, hyung.” Jungsu obliges, letting Jooyeon lick into his mouth and suck his tongue eagerly. A thought darts through his head and he acts on it, stiffening his tongue before pushing it into Jooyeon’s desperate mouth. Jooyeon whimpers around the muscle, his jaw slackening as he lets Jungsu fuck his mouth, spit leaking down the side of his mouth, lips pink and stretched as he goes limp on the bed. Jungsu feels himself leaking in his pants and he needs to get them off. He needs Jooyeon to tell him what he wants and soon.
“Such a good boy,” he coos, wiping the excess spit off their faces and pecking him lightly on the lips. “Does my good boy know what he wants?” Jooyeon blinks back into reality, his eyes still foggy but focusing on Jungsu’s face.
“Want hyung to touch me, wanna cum with hyung.” Jungsu feels his heart skip a beat.
“You sure baby?” he whispers, kissing his forehead softly. Jooyeon nods and loops his arms around Jungsu’s shoulders to sit up. They’re sitting in the middle of Jungsu’s bed, slightly hunched under Hyeongjun’s bunk but comfortable enough to keep going.
“I’m sure, Jungsu hyung,” Jooyeon breathes, and they kiss, hot and wet. Jungsu pulls them into a more manageable position, Jooyeon’s thighs over his own, his shirt still tucked up under his armpits so his bare chest is pressed almost flush to Jungsu’s still clothed one. Jungsu groans as he feels Jooyeon palm his bulge, hand just as eager as his tongue. “Can I touch you too?” His eyes are shining with pure want, and Jungsu nods.
“Of course pup.”
“Fuck,” Jooyeon says, his voice straining as he lets his hands wander Jungsu’s body, almost like he can’t believe he’s allowed this. Jungsu lets him touch where he wants, tilting his head back at the feeling. “Fuck hyung, you’re so hot,” he manages, and Jungsu wants to laugh at the pure reverence in his voice. He’s so cute. Jungsu wants to make him cry.
“Yeah? You think so?” he asks, and Jooyeon nods, hair flying as he enthuses. Jungsu laughs softly. “Thank you baby,” he says, running a hand through Jooyeon’s silky locks. “You’re so pretty like this.” Jooyeon flushes, his eyes downcast as he lets Jungsu pet him gently. “My pup is the prettiest.” Jooyeon’s hips grind lightly at Jungsu’s words and he smirks. “He’s horny too, huh?” Jooyeon whines in complaint, hiding his face in Jungsu’s shoulder.
“Hyung,” he says, voice muffled. “Please.” Jungsu lifts his face, finger under his chin.
“Since you asked so nicely…” he kisses Jooyeon lightly, pulling away when he chases his mouth. “Let’s get you undressed then.” Jooyeon takes his top off as Jungsu unbuttons his jeans, trying to still his slightly trembling hands. He was nervous, even when he felt confident in talking. He didn’t want to hurt Jooyeon, he wanted to make him feel good, and if he was depending on him-
“Jungsu hyung.” He looks up to see Jooyeon watching him, leaning back on his palms, topless as he waits for Jungsu to undress him. He has a knowing look in his soft eyes. “I trust you.” Jungsu bites his lip and lets the throb of affection he feels encourage him to keep going.
Jooyeon lifts his hips to let Jungsu take his pants and then his boxers off, whimpering softly at the feeling of release from his tight clothes, his head tilting back. Jungsu wants to take a picture of him, his hair across his shoulders as he lets his head relax, his tensed arm muscles as he holds himself up, the span of his belly down to his cock. He’s so pretty, long and thick and flushed red from arousal and dripping precum already. “God Joo,” Jungsu chokes out. He’s so much more than Jungsu could’ve imagined. He was beautiful. “You’re perfect.” he drags him into a kiss, hand in his hair, letting Jooyeon puppy-lick his way into his mouth again, their breath mingling together.
“Touch me, please hyung,” Jooyeon whimpers, and Jungsu eats his words up, nipping at his mouth before turning away enough to be able to spit into his hand. Jooyeon watches with wide, wide eyes as Jungsu maintains eye contact, wetting his palm before reaching down and stroking him, his other hand still holding him in place by the hair. Jooyeon’s hips fuck upwards when Jungsu finally touches him, and Jungsu groans. “You’re so big baby, is that all for me?” Jooyeon whines and nods as much as he can with Jungsu’s hand still tight in his hair, hips still moving on their own as he chases the feeling of his slick hand.
“All for you Jungsu hyung,” he gasps.
“Bet you’d feel great inside me, huh?” Jungsu invisions himself riding Jooyeon until the younger cries and begs for him to stop. The idea goes straight to his dick and he moans. “Fuck yeah, you’d be such a good puppy for me, let me ride you until you can’t anymore? Until you can’t give me any more of your cum?” Jooyeon’s back arches, hands scrabbling on the bed to find purchase as he’s eased closer and closer to his orgasm, Jungsu’s hand speeding up on his cock. He tugs Jooyeon’s hair, eliciting a cry from him.
“Answer me puppy.” Jungsu’s voice has an edge to it, and Jooyeon manages to reply between his moans, a pathetic little “yes, hyung!” escaping him. Jungsu slows down his pace on Jooyeon’s dick, taking his time to tease the head of his pretty cock, using his precum to slick his way even more. “Good boy,” he coos. He kisses Jooyeon’s forehead, tender in the middle of the intense moment. “You wanna cum, don’t you?” Jooyeon nods, teary eyes looking up at Jungsu as he moves down to his elbows.
“Okay puppy, here’s what I’ll do. If you lay back for me, I’ll take my clothes off and then we can cum together. How does that sound?” Jooyeon just nods, moving off Jungsu’s lap and laying down with his head on Jungsu’s pillow again. Jungsu sheds his shirt and pants to an appreciative audience, feeling just a touch shy at the way Jooyeon gapes at his body. He reaches over to the bedside stand to rummage for his small bottle of lube, laying it next to them when he finds it. Jooyeon is squirming now, his impatience starting to show but he never says anything. “Good boy,” Jungsu says, smiling when Jooyeon flushes lightly. He slips his boxer briefs off, and he watches as Jooyeon’s cock twitches the moment his eyes light on it.
“Eager baby,” Jungsu teases, taking himself in hand and stroking a couple times to take the edge off. The pleasure seems to meld into a ball of fire that sits under his belly as he watches Jooyeon watch him. “Gonna make you feel good now,” he says, kneeling on the bed. He shuffles up to pull Jooyeon’s thighs over his own again, bending over to avoid bumping his head on the slats above them and to get closer to Jooyeon. He looks fucked out already, hands on either side of his head as he lays there, letting Jungsu do what he wants, only following with dazed, teary eyes. “This okay?” Jungsu whispers, kissing his cheeks gently. Jooyeon nods.
“Ready to cum hyung,” he says, and Jungsu chuckles.
“Of course baby.” Jungsu straightens up, one hand on Jooyeon’s hip and the other opening the lube. He drizzles some of it into his palm and lets it warm up, looking down to see how their cocks are straining to touch each other. He feels a surge of heat in his veins at the sight and takes them both in his hand as much as he can. He’s not that big, he’s a little longer than average but he’s not as thick as Jooyeon is, so his hand doesn’t close entirely around both their dicks. Jooyeon doesn’t seem to notice, his back arching almost immediately at the contact of Jungsu’s hand, moans tearing out of his throat like they hurt.
“Ah, ah, hyung, yes fuck please!” Jungsu groans, grip on Jooyeon’s hip tightening at the feeling of his cock rubbing against the soft underside of Jooyeon’s. It’s so hot, the feeling of Jooyeon being so close, their skin touching, the slide of Jungsu’s hand, it’s all so much and he feels like his spine is melting.
“God, fuck Joo, that’s it,” he grunts, moving his hips in unison with Jooyeon, who’s thrashing like he’s touched a live wire. Jungsu moves like he’s fucking Jooyeon, his dick sliding against the fold of Jooyeon’s upper thigh and his cock, their precum and the lube in Jungsu’s hand dripping down and mixing, making it wet and messy and Jungsu thinks he can see stars. “You want me to fuck you? Want me in you for real?” Jooyeon is crying, Jungsu can see his tears, but he knows that Jooyeon knows he can stop when he needs to and he says nothing. He lays there and cries, his head lifting a little to watch was Jungsu pseudo fucks him. He pouts and whimpers when he realizes Jungsu isn’t fucking him. Jungsu thinks he looks delicious.
“Next time baby, next time I’ll fuck you till you can’t walk.” Jooyeon blubbers and falls back on the pillow, brow furrowing as he fucks up into Jungsu’s hand. He looks like he’s close, so Jungsu focuses on making him cum first, hand quicking its pace on his cock as he fucks up against it. “You wanna cum, huh pup?” Jooyeon doesn’t answer, just sobs like he’s broken-hearted and Jungsu grins despite himself. He looks destroyed, his face red and wet with tears as he lays on the pillow and takes it like a good puppy does. Jungsu groans.
“Uh, uh, hy’ng, plea’s,”Jooyeon is incoherent.
“Go on then, get hyung all wet with your cum,” Jungsu purrs, leaning over him to get a little more leverage as he keeps fucking against his twitching dick. He showers Jooyeon with little pecks, licking up stray tears as he brings him right to the edge of his orgasm.
“Be a good puppy and cum Joo,” he murmurs. Jungsu takes his free hand and rubs it across the shining head of his cock, and Jooyeon all but screams, back lifting clear up off the bed as he cums hard, thighs shaking as he squirts ropes of white all over Jungsu’s hand, his own lower belly and thighs. An obedient puppy even to the end. Jungsu feels his own orgasm cresting fast at the sight of his beloved maknae cumming so prettily, swiping his hand through the mess Jooyeon made and pumping his cock fast.
“Fuck,” he swears, feeling the pleasure spike as he watches Jooyeon laying there, chest rising and falling quickly as he recovers, no longer crying but sniffling as he tries to regain his bearings.
“Gonna make me cum pup, wish I could fuck you,” he says, feeling overwhelmed at the thought. Jooyeon starts to move, lifting his legs and holding them with his hands, knees to his chest. He doesn’t say anything but Jungsu moves on instinct, feeding his cock into the tight space created by his mostly closed thighs and his softening, still twitching dick. The glide is smoothed by the mess Jooyeon made when he came and the remaining lube in Jungsu’s hand. He fucks hand and fast, head full of Jooyeon’s overstimulated whimpers, his eyes catching on Jooyeon’s pink asshole, and his vision goes white. He cums across Jooyeon’s stomach with a moan, half hearted thrusts as he rides it out, relishing in the sounds Jooyeon lets out.
When he’s done he carefully pulls back, trying not to spill anything on his bed and trying to avoid overstimulating Jooyeon any more. Jooyeon lets his limbs extend and flop on the bed, eyes closed. Jungsu sits back on his heels, trying to catch his breath, head spinning. There’s a heavy silence for a minute or so, and Jungsu worries at his lip. Maybe he had been too much? It had felt so good though, and the sight of Jooyeon enjoying himself so much had been enough to make him cum. Surely that meant something?
“Hyung,” Jooyeon says, voice wrecked but still clear. Jungsu winces.
“Yeah?”
“You promise next time you’ll fuck me for real?” Jungsu feels a shiver run up his spine at Jooyeon’s words.
“Yeah, I promise.” Jooyeon lifts his head, a grin on his tear-stained face.
“Good.” Jungsu laughs. Even after cumming so hard he cried he’s still his silly maknae. He crawls over Jooyeon to kiss him, careful with his sensitive skin, brushing his sweaty bangs back with a gentle hand.
“You feel okay?” he asks, and Jooyeon hums and nods. Jungsu kisses his cheek and enjoys the way his pillow smells of him. Of both of them. They lay together in the afterglow, and Jungsu couldn’t even remember the fear he had felt before about his feelings.
“Thanks for being a good hyung,” Jooyeon says, eyes fond and warm. Jungsu feels like he’s glowing. “And thanks for teaching me how to kiss.” Jungsu laughs, shaking his head.
“I think I did more than that,” he muses, pinching Jooyeon’s cheek gently. Jooyeon beams up at him.
“Now you have to teach me how to fuck.”