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"Morning, babe!" Keeley greeted brightly as she appeared in Rebecca's office doorway late that Thursday morning, two days before Christmas, one hand hidden behind her back as the other reached over Rebecca's desk once she'd reached it to give her a squeeze.
"Hello, love! Did you take a late lunch?" Rebecca hadn't expected to see Keeley that day; they'd met at the Crown and Anchor for a drink after work the previous day, and her sporadic drop-ins were much less frequent now that she no longer worked in the same building, though her new office was still only ten minutes down the road.
Keeley nodded, taking her designated seat in the corner of Rebecca's couch, still fiddling with whatever she was holding behind her back.
"Yeah! Roy said the boys were running drills like mad today before they finish up for Christmas, but he still wanted to take me for lunch so we settled on making it an early dinner. Which reminds me..." She revealed the two paper tickets she had been hiding then, slapping them down on the coffee table in front of her, "Here! We were supposed to make a day of it; go to lunch and shop for presents then drive up to Kew Gardens after the sun goes down for their light display, but Roy's sister had to go into surgery so Phoebe's coming over! So you're going up to Kew Gardens tonight instead!" She lied through her teeth, hoping Rebecca wouldn't call her on it.
Realistically Roy had never even seen these tickets, knowing they were spending a quiet night in together— sans Phoebe— after a long week of work. Keeley had actually gotten the tickets through one of her new work contacts, pulling some strings as an early Christmas gift for Rebecca and hoping that she could finally talk her best friend into asking Ted on a proper date; knowing Rebecca was too polite to let a pair of free tickets to anything go to waste.
Their entire group of mutual friends, along with most of the team, had come to realize that Ted and Rebecca had something special on Christmas Day one year earlier, when they had shown up outside the Higgins household and led everyone in a singalong with a group of buskers they had met while spending the entire day alone together, after Rebecca invited Ted along as she delivered presents to the underprivileged children she loved to help bring joy to any chance she could.
Keeley knew their plans were much the same this year, but she also knew firsthand that there was little opportunity for romance where children were concerned, so when she had come across a chance to help meddle just a little bit to kickstart Rebecca's holiday and what she just knew her two friends were beating around the bush to get to, she was all in.
"Oh, Keeley, thank you! That's so sweet, I'm sorry you don't get to go." Rebecca smiled, closing up her computer and finally joining Keeley on the couch, quickly squeezing the smaller woman around her shoulders again in thanks.
"Of course, babe! Dinner is included, you've got a reservation for two at The Botanical for a three course meal at half-six, and your walk starts at eight!"
"And who, exactly, am I going to be taking as my plus one, if you and Roy are both at home with Phoebe, and I'm not exactly tied down to anyone at the moment?" Rebecca raised a suspicious eyebrow at Keeley, the name of the upscale café in the Gardens familiar to her and arousing suspicions that Keeley may have planned this all along.
Keeley simply shrugged in response to the questioning, remaining nonchalant. "I don't know babe, I didn't really think that far! Maybe you could take—"
"If you say I should take Ted, my best friend—" Keeley glared at her teasingly, "My best friend other than you, on this romantic date night you and Roy were supposed to be having, I swear I'm going to slap you." Rebecca threatened playfully. "I'm not going to ambush him with a date, I can't do that to him! We're not... And Ted's definitely not..." She tried, desperate to distract from the flush that had risen up her neck at the mere idea of herself and Ted on a romantic evening alone. They had only just (almost a year ago now, Rebecca reminded herself) built upon their relationship and declared themselves the other's best friend verbally, quietly beneath the light of Keeley's Christmas tree on New Year's Eve while curled up alone together on her pink velvet sofa as they watched their friends and colleagues kiss and embrace as the clock struck midnight.
"Ted?" Rebecca spoke up quietly as the chatter around them increased in volume the closer they got to midnight; a pesky thought that had been rattling around in her brain since their day together on Christmas needing to be verbalized.
"Yeah, Boss?" Ted took notice of Rebecca's unfamiliarly nervous energy right away, snaking a comforting arm around her shoulders. "What's up, buttercup?"
She responded instantly to the touch, leaning into his chest for warmth as she willed her heart to stop racing. It was still hard to be vulnerable with Ted, no matter how many times she had done so in the past year.
Taking a long sip of champagne, she began: "I just wanted to— To thank you for everything you've done for me this year. Your unconditional friendship even after everything I've done to hurt you, always seeing the best in me even when I can't see it for myself; the way you're always there to make me feel better, Biscuits With The Boss entirely... And not to mention that one time you completely obliterated my ex-husband at darts... You have no idea what all of that means to me. I think that, other than Keeley... You're my best friend, Coach Lasso." She couldn't bear to call Ted by name when she said it, tears already threatening to spill over as she spoke the all too honest words.
"Oh, Rebecca..." He sighed sweetly as the confession hit his ears, that puppy eyed, loving look Rebecca had seen him wear all too often piercing directly to her heart. "That's gotta be one of the damn near nicest things anyone's ever said to me. Now don't tell Beardo, but you're my best friend too, Boss."
It was then the cheering erupted around them, signaling the start of the New Year.
"Well would ya look at that... Happy New Year, Rebecca." Ted grinned, squeezing her shoulders and planting a friendly, light as air kiss to her temple.
"Happy New Year, Ted."
"Oh for fuck's sake, Rebecca!" Keeley exclaimed, bringing her back out of the memory, "One, If you try to tell me again that Ted doesn't have any interest in you like that I'm going to scream; and two, it doesn't have to be romantic! I just thought Ted seemed like the type to really like Christmas lights and all that, I swear. I wasn't even thinking about it, I promise."
"Well, I suppose it would be fun.... And The Botanical is incredible this time of year... Fine." She conceded, getting up from her seat and making her way to the window, throwing it open before she lost the nerve.
"Ted?!" She yelled down onto the pitch, capturing the attention of all of the coaches and the players.
"Yeah, Boss?!" He yelled back, his adorable visor shielding his eyes as he looked up at her window through the glare of the mid-afternoon sun.
"Keeley got tickets to Kew Gardens Christmas light show she can't use, so we're going instead! I'll pick you up for dinner at ten past six!" Grinning at the thought, she added: "And wear a tie!"
"Sounds good, Boss! See ya at six!"
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At ten to six, Rebecca began to panic.
What the hell was she doing taking Ted, her team's gaffer and one of her dearest friends, out on a romantic Christmas date?! Regardless of their now-rock solid friendship and all of Keeley's (very thinly veiled) assurances that it didn't have to be romantic, it just inherently was. The love songs disguised as Christmas carols, the plethora of holiday themed romantic comedies, and the sugary sweet print adverts that were plastered on every possible moving vehicle in all of London... There was no way anything she was about to experience with Ted wouldn't be construed as a grand romantic gesture, from him or from the onlookers around them.
And Rebecca just wasn't ready for that.
Just when she was about to start berating herself once more, telling herself that even if Ted did in any way return the feelings that she so desperately wanted to strangle and kill, leaving them to rot in the depths of her bruised and broken heart, that he was simply far too good for her; Too loving, too warm and funny and kind, that she didn't deserve someone like him; a knock came at her front door, almost exactly ten minutes before she was supposed to leave and make the short drive across the Green to pick him up.
Fucking hell, he's early. And why is he here?!
Quickly throwing her tickets, phone, and wallet into her bag and grabbing the first pair of decent walking shoes she saw that made sense with her outfit (She had settled on a pair of high-waisted black trousers and a silky, cranberry coloured pussybow blouse with the namesake loosely knotted around her neck, wanting to look festive but still keep warm outside), Rebecca rushed to the door and briefly checked the peephole to make sure it was actually Ted, pulling it open and giving him a playfully disapproving frown.
"You're early, Coach. And at my house, when we agreed I'd pick you up." She teased, looking him up and down. He had exchanged his usual Greyhound puffer jacket for a sleek black wool peacoat she had never seen before, getting a peek of a crisp grey shirt and dark red tie from where he hadn't buttoned it to the top.
He looked good.
"Yes ma'am I am." He agreed simply, barely registering Rebecca's gaze on him, "I was just gonna wait for you over at mine, but it just didn't feel quite right, bein' so used to the proper gentlemanly way of knockin' on a lady's door and tellin' her she looks amazin' before we head off. You do, by the way, Boss. Look beautiful, I mean. Not that you don't always look great but... Y'know what I mean." He shrugged a little awkwardly, giving her a soft smile.
Now that made the air catch in Rebecca's lungs, and she had to fight to clear her throat as subtly as possible as she pulled her coat down from the rack in the foyer.
"Why thank you, Ted, that's very sweet." She smiled in earnest as she moved to pull on her coat, allowing Ted to help her with the second sleeve when he reached a hand out to assist. "I must say, you look quite handsome yourself tonight, too." She complimented, gesturing vaguely over his whole ensemble.
"What, this old thing?" He chuckled, giving her his best attempt at a supermodel pose as they stepped out into the chill of the evening and Rebecca locked the door behind them. "This may or may not actually be Beardo's, not gonna lie."
"Well it looks very nice on you. You ready to go?"
"Yes ma'am! Want me to drive?" He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows and eliciting a full blown cackle from Rebecca.
"Not on your life!"
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They made easy, light conversation on the twenty minute drive to the Gardens, alternating between aimless chatting and softly singing along to various songs on the radio, pulling up and parking successfully with just enough time to spare for the short walk to the restaurant.
This was admittedly one of Rebecca's favourite parts of being openly closer with Ted, allowing herself to easily get lost in the endlessly fun, playfully heated banter that arose between them. She loved to get into meaningless "arguments" with him, egging him on just to see how many ways Rebecca could push his buttons, and Ted retaliating in kind with his long and excessively detailed stories that he knew Rebecca secretly loved, despite her frequent jokes about their length.
It was also this that made her utterly terrified of Ted ever finding out about the pesky thoughts that lurked in the back of her mind, ready to pounce at a moment's notice; If Ted ever found out about the things she let herself think about him late at night when she was alone, they would never be the same. Sure, he would likely forgive her and insist they could move on, because that was just who he was as a person, but Rebecca knew that if Ted ever caught wind of her true feelings for him they would never be able to return to what they had right now ever again.
"You doin' okay, Boss?" He asked gently, pulling her from her downward spiraling as he felt her sudden silence. Rebecca just nodded, allowing him to take her hand as she led him to the gate.
"Come on, it's this way."
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They were seated at the restaurant almost instantly, arriving through the door at almost exactly 6:30. The hostess had led them to a cozy little corner table next to a window, overlooking the gorgeous pond in the centre of the gardens.
"Well ain't this somethin'." Ted mused as he pulled Rebecca's chair out from the table before finding his own across from her, looking around in wonder. He was right, for a little café it was gorgeous, decorated with gold finished metals and viney plants hanging from almost every surface or tall trees in pots lining the floor, with upholstered furniture and wallpaper to match.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Rebecca mused, "I've only ever been here once or twice, but the food is really good."
A server arrived just a few moments later to start them off with drinks, Rebecca with her usual gin and tonic and Ted forgoing his typical scotch to try the holiday special cocktail the server had recommended, a paloma made festive with cranberry syrup and a vanilla sugar rim.
When the young woman asked if they were ready to order, Ted politely gestured to Rebecca to start. They both chose to start with a butternut squash soup, while for the main course Ted picked a delicious-looking pork and vegetable dish with a red wine sauce, and Rebecca decided on a lobster risotto.
When their main courses finally arrived nearly twenty minutes later, which had seemed like no time at all from both the alcohol and their breezy banter, Ted almost immediately clocked Rebecca admiring his food, making him smile. He knew she'd likely never ask for herself, so he offered that they swap a few bites each, nodding toward his plate.
Rebecca flushed when she realized she'd been caught out, and when it occurred to Ted that both of their free hands were resting idly under the table he couldn't resist reaching forward to take hers in his own, giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze and massaging his thumb into the back of it; much like she had done for him last year in Liverpool.
Ted still didn't know the full extent of Rebecca's ex-husband's treatment of her behind closed doors, not wanting to push her to open up those painful wounds again if she didn't want to, waiting patiently until she trusted him enough to share more. But he remembered the night of the gala that she had mentioned food being a sore spot at that time in her life, and all he wanted was to overwrite every horrible feeling and habit that godawful man had instilled in her.
She smiled up at him softly when she felt the ministrations, mouthing a thank you that Ted knew wasn't solely for sharing his meal with her.
"Oh, fuck me, this is delicious." Rebecca muttered as she reached across the table with her fork and popped a strip of pork and a couple of vegetables into her mouth, freezing for a moment then giggling as she remembered they weren't in the privacy of her office, as they typically were when she ate in front of him. He joined in a few moments later when he caught a few elderly people glance their way at Rebecca's louder than intended swear, and soon enough the both of them had been reduced to fits of laughter.
"Oh my god, you've bloody Pavlov'ed me!" Rebecca gasped when most of their giggling had subsided, still breathless, "It's those goddamned delicious biscuits! That's it then, I'm just not going to be able to eat with you in public anymore! Sorry Ted, but this is our first and last dinner date."
"Well ain't that a darn shame, I was having fun! But I suppose you'd rather not eat out with me ever again than me stop making your biscuits, hm?" Ted teased, raising an eyebrow playfully.
"You bastard, you wouldn't dare!" Rebecca exclaimed melodramatically, reaching across the table to smack him gently on the shoulder before both being reduced to yet another puddle of laughter. "Don't you ever leave me without my biscuits!"
"Sorry to interrupt," Their server appeared again, a small and almost knowing smile on her face, "But have you had an opportunity to look over the dessert menu for your choices?"
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After finishing their cocktails and desserts, and staying to chat for just a little while longer in the dim, cozy light of the café after dark, it was finally time for the pair to head off on their journey through the gardens.
They wandered slowly along the guided trail, nearly shoulder to shoulder or with Ted hanging back just behind Rebecca, snapping photos of nearly every sparkling figure or scene they saw.
Rebecca stopped fully only a few times at first, mostly in front of the more elaborate scenes or lights that flashed in time with music to take in every detail.
She found herself enamoured by a majority of the displays eventually as they grew more elaborate, though; a stretch of snowy ground covered in sparkly blue peacocks, a magical gazebo they were made to walk through lit floor to ceiling in rainbow string lights, and got a particularly good giggle from a Christmas tree stuffed inside of a Santa suit made to vaguely resemble Jim Carrey's Grinch, but a few metres down the path she saw something that made a helplessly wide grin erupt across her face.
"Hey, Ted!" She called back, finding him still recording a video of a flower bed full of Christmas boxes she had just finished watching, that flashed different colours in time with the music playing above them, "Come look at this one!" She beckoned him with a finger, and Ted finally put his phone down to rejoin her side by side, casually draping his arm around her waist and resting his hand comfortably low on her back.
"What'd you see, Boss—" Ted paused when Rebecca pointed just up ahead, where a small group of people waited to take a photo with a golden lit teddy bear in a Santa hat that must have been at least seven feet tall.
"Well would ya look at that! Now you have gotta take a photo with that one, Boss, it's only right!" He teased, giving her hip a sudden, playful squeeze that nearly knocked the wind from her lungs for the hundredth time that night.
Jesus Christ Rebecca, she silently chided herself for panicking every single time Ted touched her, Of course he's going to touch you and not think anything of it, just because you're not at work doesn't mean anything, that's just what friends do!
"C'mere then, gimme your phone! What's your passcode?" He prompted again, guiding her up closer to the small crowd around the figure.
"Oh it's 0315, Nora's birthday."
"Aww, alright." He muttered sweetly as he unlocked her phone and tapped open the camera while they waited to move to the front of the group, thoughtlessly rubbing the small of her back and unknowingly sending a jolt of electricity through her entire body. "Okay Boss, you're up!"
He gestured just ahead, guiding her so she was situated to the bear's right. Ted immediately took his job as photographer very seriously, crouching down and bending his arms at all sorts of angles so he could get all of the best shots possible, sneakily capturing a few with the zoom lens tight on her face, after he had slipped and fallen onto his backside on a hidden patch of ice and sent Rebecca into a fit of laughter.
"Oh my god, Ted, I'm so sorry for laughing! Are you alright?" She made her way over to her brave photographer when she could finally manage to stand up straight again, extending a hand to help him up.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm peachy!" He assured her, looking over her phone when he was upright again to make sure he hadn't damaged it. "Here, how's about we go get a good spot for the fountain show, and I'll go through this and make sure I keep all the good ones!" He lied swiftly, though Rebecca nodded so he knew he had convinced her. He was really going to keep all of the best ones, but not before texting himself all of the more candid shots he'd managed without her knowledge.
They began the trek through the final stretch of trail then, Ted's head down both to keep an eye on any more sneaky ice patches and so he could quickly flip through all of his favorites of the photos, smiling when a beam of light under his feet caught his eye as he finally handed Rebecca's phone back to her.
How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle.
Looking up ahead they realized that there were multiple Christmas cracker jokes projected onto the ground, Ted's reaction of pure glee and Rebecca's a playfully frustrated groan.
"Good God, these are awful!" She lamented with a laugh, looking over to see Ted snapping photos of every single one as they ventured closer to the pond, "...You're going to remember to use every single one of these between now and Leslie's party, aren't you?"
"Hey, Rebecca?" Came Ted's only response, a shit-eating smile on his face.
Rolling her eyes, Rebecca retorted with an over-exaggerated, "Yes, Ted?"
"Why did the turkey join the band?"
I don't know Ted, why did the turkey join the band?"
"Because it had the drumsticks!" He delivered the punchline with a full-belly laugh, so infectious that Rebecca couldn't help but join him once again as they parked themselves almost at the edge of the water, behind a handful of families with younger children.
The fountain show began shortly after, with a medley of upbeat holiday songs and colourful splashes of water and light, occasionally mixed with magical festive projections on a wall of mist.
"Oh Christ, this isn't even a Christmas movie!" Rebecca groaned when she heard the opening notes of Let It Go begin after a few slower songs had played, earning her a few glares from a selection of parents before she made a move to tug on Ted's hand and guide him back towards the trail, "C'mon, we can get a head start if we go now!"
"Wait, no, hold on. Can we listen for a sec? Please?" Ted stopped her sweetly, moving to stand behind Rebecca so she couldn't venture any further to leave and, shocking her, he took his hand from hers and instead slipped his arms around her waist, interlocking his fingers to hold her snugly against him.
Well... That's new.
"Y'know, despite what a lot of people our age have been through, I actually don't hate this song," He chuckled lowly, resting his chin on her shoulder as the song built and the fountains shot up in time with it. Rebecca could feel his breath on her neck now, and combined with his deep, intoxicated tone of voice it sent shockwaves down her spine, "It's actually means quite a lot to me now... Reminds me of a beautiful woman I know."
Okay, what the fuck? For Christ's sake Rebecca, whatever you do, do not let him watch you crumble.
"Ted— Don't... Don't tease me, not like this." She breathed, pleading with him as she tried to ignore the delicious feeling of his mustache now scratching lightly against her neck, and then the featherlight kisses he boldly pressed just below her ear, that she could try really hard to pretend were just the wind.
"You're drunk, Ted. Please..." She begged, hardly more than a whisper as her eyelids fluttered shut, trying desperately not to cry. Ted's advances definitely weren't entirely unwelcome, and if Rebecca were anybody else she might have just let him take things where he pleased; But she was a broken woman, a billionaire's damaged goods, and no matter how badly she wanted him to just keep kissing her neck like that she couldn't let Ted get that close, treasuring his friendship far too fiercely for it to go up in flames over some drunken, heat of the moment urges.
It seemed as though with that final plea that Ted finally heard her, removing his arms from her middle and taking her hand to lead her away. They didn't make it far, though, when Ted stopped them just out of earshot of the crowds and brought his hands to her hips, gently backing her against a tree.
"Ted, what...?" She questioned, unable to meet his eyes after what he had just done; the floodgates were now threatening to burst open and she couldn't stop them now.
"Rebecca, please look at me? I need you to be lookin' at me when I say this." Ted pleaded softly, reaching up to cradle her cheek in one of his gloved hands.
And look she did, being greeted by that puppy-eyed, sympathetic and all too sweet look she knew well, and it broke her heart instantly.
Fucking hell, this is going to hurt.
"Theodore, don't..." She began to sob, tears finally spilling over as she felt everything inside her completely shatter the moment their gazes met, "Don't look at me like that when you don't mean it..."
Before she could say anything more Ted's arms were wrapped around her, clutching her close to his chest in a nearly bone-crushing hug. It happened so suddenly and her thoughts were swirling so fast that Rebecca couldn't quite figure out where to put her own hands on him, scared to get too close yet simultaneously wanting him closer than ever. As if there were another force out there moving her body on her behalf she finally settled for keeping her hands high on his back, concealing her face in his shoulder as she cried.
"Hey, shh... You're breakin' my heart, honey..." He murmured, the sound of Rebecca's cries making his chest ache, "It's okay... You're okay, I promise. Now, who told you that I don't mean it?" He asked, voice so soft and soothing in her ear that Rebecca almost couldn't bear it, "And who told you I was teasin' just now? Was it that pesky lil voice I know lives in your head, just like the one that lives in mine? Cause quite frankly I'd like to have some words with the two of 'em."
That made her chuckle quietly in between sobs, squeezing him just a little tighter. "And I'm not, Rebecca... Teasin' you, I mean. I swear on everything I have that I'd never do that to you, never in my life would I go lookin' to hurt you. And I may be a little drunk, but I sure as heck ain't a liar. Can you please just let me tell you what I was gonna tell you, darlin', and then we can talk about all this? I promise it won't take long."
Ted began to rub her back in slow, wide circles then, giving her a moment to calm herself as he helped to soothe the remaining sobs from her body.
Eventually Rebecca felt like she had collected herself enough to pull back and follow Ted's initial instructions, and as she hesitantly laid her gaze back upon him she was grateful all she found staring back was a warm, encouraging grin as she released a final, steadying exhale.
"Hey, there she is." He cooed, moving his hands back to her cheeks and drying her tears with his gloved thumbs as she gave him a small, sheepish smile, embarrassment seeping into her bones at her spiraling.
"I've got ya." He reassured, as if he could also hear the little voice of self-conscious loathing creeping into her thoughts. "Now... You remember how Keeley told you these tickets were hers and Roy's first?"
Rebecca nodded. Wait, how does he know—?
"Well, I'm sorry to say, but that's the first time Keeley's ever lied to you." Ted chuckled, finishing her thought. Moving her hands to his waist in a brave show of affection, fuelled simply by his sweetness and his incredibly gentle encouragement, Rebecca then raised a playful eyebrow at him, imploring him to continue.
"Oh, was it now?"
Nodding, he clarified, "I asked her if she could get these tickets for me; I saw an ad for this place a few weeks back, looked up pictures online and when I saw how dang magical it was— And how damn good that dinner looked—" She giggled, recalling how quickly Ted had annhilated the entirety of his plate, "I knew right away I wanted to bring you. The meal, the drinks, the walkin' for hours in the cold lookin' at the lights, I wanted to share all of this with you. But when it came down to it I was too damn scared to ask you myself, so I had Keeley make up somethin' and ask you for me. I just couldn't bear the thought of you sayin' no to me, not after all this time and this friendship we've got goin' for us. I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to ask you myself, but I'm so glad you came."
It dawned on Rebecca then, hitting her with a sharp inhale. "So when I yelled down and asked you to come..."
"I already knew." Ted explained with a cheeky grin, earning him another playful smack and a You little shit! in response. Laughing, he continued, "Keeley had told me that mornin' she was comin', was gonna do it on her lunch. I didn't want her to do it any earlier than the day of, see, because I know how you get in that brilliant lil head of yours and I didn't want to give you enough time to decide to back out, or try to find a way to take somebody else. I needed this to happen, because..."
He paused to blow out an almost forceful breath, and this time it was Rebecca who laid a comforting hand on his face, murmuring a soft It's alright, Ted to encourage him to keep going, "I needed this to happen because I couldn't go one more Christmas Day with just us walkin' around at home, havin' the greatest time, without tellin' you that I love you, Rebecca. I'm in love with you, have been for awhile now."
Rebecca almost couldn't believe it. This whole evening had been Ted's doing all along because he loved her; He wanted her and he was in love with her.
Ted's confession was so easy, so honest, that the simultaneous elation and devastation of it all abruptly came out of nowhere, hitting Rebecca like a tonne of bricks.
Ted felt the same, loved her the way that she had loved him for so many months; But Rebecca knew that no matter how badly she wanted to give into him and let him love her, in reality it would undoubtedly be better if she didn't. She would only hurt him in the long run, and Rebecca didn't want to know what it felt like to break Ted Lasso's enormous and endlessly sweet heart when it turned out she could never live up to the idea of her that she was certain he had in his head.
"Oh, Ted..." She breathed, scratching her fingers along the newly sprouted hint of stubble on his cheek mindlessly, only hearing her voice crack under the weight of the emotion a few moments too late and wincing with a sad smile at the sound, "This is so... This whole evening is so beyond anything anyone has ever done for me. But I don't... I don't deserve you, Ted, I don't deserve any of this. You're too good, too sweet—"
"Respectfully, Rebecca, I'm gonna stop you right there." Ted put his hands up for emphasis, cutting her protests off, "For one; ever since I met you I thought you deserved the whole world, for someone to come along and treat you right after the hell that man put you through. Even though I didn't realize right from the get-go that I wanted that person to be me, after what you've been through I only ever wanted someone to just be really fucking good to you." Ted paused for a moment then, considering his next words carefully, and Rebecca had to swallow a surprised noise at the sound of him swearing. She had only ever heard sweet Ted swear a handful of times before, mostly under his breath after a particularly brutal loss; Or there was also that one time...
Don't you dare go there, Rebecca willed herself, trying desperately to swallow the lump in her throat that formed at the thought of that bitter memory, He forgave you. He forgave you for all of that.
"And for two," He continued, pulling her from her spiraling just in time, "I've thought about this, okay? For one heck of a long time, goin' on a year now. I've weighed every possible pro and con up here in this ol' noggin," He rapped twice on his head with his knuckles, making Rebecca smile for real again, "And there is not a single downside that I could come up with that would make me decide against tellin' you how I feel. I don't care that your divorce gave your confidence a knock, 'cause so did mine. Just because my divorce and the shit I've been through made me kinder to people doesn't mean that you puttin' up those fences of yours was the wrong way to heal; We all figure it out differently.
I don't care if we gotta take things nice and slow for you to feel fully comfortable takin' this step with me, 'cause I'll be right here holdin' your hand the whole dang time making sure you know that I'm never gonna leave your side, regardless of if we got some more fences to jump over together. I know you and I know your massive heart inside out by now, and you're just as sweet and good to me as you seem to think I am. I love you Rebecca, every last part of you, and nothin' you could possibly say or do to me while we navigate this is gonna change that, okay? You're always gonna be my best friend, no matter what. You do deserve me, Becca— Honestly, you probably deserve so much more than me— And all I wanna do is show you the kinda love that you shoulda had from the start." She didn't know when exactly during his impassioned speech that Ted had brought his hands up to take one of hers in between them, but realizing he had begun to work gentle circles into her palm and the back of her hand simultaneously brought her right back down to earth, nearly melting at the touch.
"Oh, my love... That was... No one's ever said anything like that about me before." Rebecca sniffled, allowing Ted to once again dry her tears, this time finishing with a gentle kiss to her forehead that made her heart pound erratically in her chest, "God, of course you'd see right through me... And you're right. It's been so hard to try and deny everything I was feeling for you, because I really believed it would be better... I just couldn't bear the thought of breaking your heart if I didn't live up to your expectations of me and losing all of this, because your friendship means everything to me. But I'm so sick and tired of trying to fight it, Ted... I love you, too."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
A boyish, utterly adorable twinkle lit his whole face up at her confirmation, as if he couldn't quite comprehend the idea of the girl he liked returning the sentiment. After a moment Ted spoke again, making Rebecca's heartbeat pick up in her chest once again.
"Rebecca?"
"Yes, Ted?"
"I'd really, really like to kiss you now."
"And I really wish you would."
Kissing Ted felt like coming home. That was the only way Rebecca could think to describe it as he gently cradled the back of her head, protecting her from the bark of the tree he ever so softly pushed her up against and finally leaned in to press his lips to hers.
It wasn't urgent or fiery, but rather lazy and comfortable, as if they'd been kissing like this for years. Ted held her comfortably by the hip with his other hand, his fingertips pressing into her skin just enough to be certain she wouldn't vanish from his hold, but still gently enough that it felt safe, like here in Ted's arms was the place she had been desperately trying to find her entire life.
The realization struck Rebecca in that moment, hard and fast to the point it almost knocked her off-balance. Like fucking lightning.
Ted Lasso was it.
After all of the pain, loss, and betrayal she had suffered to the point she believed she would never recover, this sweet, soft-hearted, silly mustachioed American man swooped in from out of nowhere and was finally her forever.
Forty-eight hours prior the realization would have scared Rebecca shitless, but here with Ted's hands now gliding in random patterns over her back, and his mustache still delightfully scratching against her face as they snogged like teenagers behind that tree with the fountain show finally coming to a close up ahead, Rebecca finally felt every drop of fear and anxiety that had been building up for years slip away.
"I love you." She whispered against his lips, unable to resist the overwhelming urge to say the words again, to make sure Ted knew she meant it then and always would.
"I love you too, darlin'." Ted responded just as softly, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear as he did so, smiling wider than Rebecca swore she'd ever seen before. It was infectious, that gorgeous smile, and Rebecca could get used to the feeling of her cheeks aching just from being near him.
"God, I love that smile." Ted complimented, leaning his forehead against hers for a moment. "I'm the luckiest man alive, y'know that?"
"Oh yeah, why is that?" She took his bait willingly, knowing that whatever he was about to follow up with would be worth it.
"Fell in love with the most beautiful woman in all of London," He explained simply, and the compliment instantly made heat rise to Rebecca's face, "And as it turns out she loves me too, and she's also already been my best friend for goin' on two years now. How crazy is that?"
Rebecca could only shake her head and chuckle at that, dipping back in to steal a few more sweet kisses from him.
"So you're diggin' the scruff, huh?" Ted smirked when he felt Rebecca's nails lovingly scratching at his jaw again when she finally pulled back from his lips, the feeling almost meditative for the both of them, "Think I should keep it awhile?"
"At the very least until New Year's," She smiled, placing one more tender kiss to the corner of his mouth, "But any longer than that and I think Roy might get jealous with one too many handsome bearded coaches on the pitch."
"Is that so?" He chuckled bashfully, laying a hand over one of Rebecca's, still lightly cradling his face, "Me, giving the great Roy Kent a run for his money in the looks department? Well I'll be damned!"
"Oh come on, you know you're gorgeous." Rebecca retorted, lovingly rolling her eyes at Ted's persistent humility. He only gave her that puppy-eyed look in response, as if the compliment was the most inexplicable thing he'd ever heard.
"...Really? You think?" He managed in the smallest voice Rebecca had ever heard leave the man's lips, and the fragility of it made her heart clench.
"Christ, Ted, of course I do! You're one of the most handsome men– If not the most handsome man— I think I've ever seen, with all your Christmas scruff or just that adorable mustache; Honestly, you'd probably still look perfect without a lick of hair on this face. I mean it, you're gorgeous." She complimented earnestly, giving the sides of his face a reassuring squeeze.
His grin was brighter now, stroking his fingers over his mustache thoughtfully.
"Well ain't that somethin'."
🎄🎄🎄🎄
Not even ten minutes after she had left Ted at his flat, barely in the door with her coat and shoes off, Rebecca heard the sound of her phone utterly blowing up with messages. Assuming it was Keeley, anxious to hear about how her and Ted's little plan had gone, Rebecca chose to leave her hanging for a few minutes longer as she peeled off her coat and moved into the kitchen for a final glass of wine before bed.
Glass and bag in hand, Rebecca sat at her kitchen island and fished around a moment for her phone, finally finding it hiding at the bottom. Checking the screen, Rebecca found that instead of Keeley she had messages from Ted, the preview simply reading 5 Attachments.
Swiping right on the notification to open them, Rebecca nearly dropped her phone into her glass at what she saw staring back at her. Each one was a portrait of her from the back or slightly angled, gazing in wonder at all of the various light displays they had seen together mere hours ago. Smiling, she noted that Ted had sent images of her with all of the ones she'd mentioned were her favourite, including a few candids of her laughing with the giant Santa teddy bear that she didn't recognize from her camera roll, that he must have secretly taken while she was distracted.
Before she could even make a move to type her reply, one final message came through.
I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to remember how happy and beautiful you looked tonight. Personally, the ones with the bear are my favorite. No reason. 😘 Sleep tight Rebecca, I love you. x
Seeing the words printed for the first time nearly took the wind from Rebecca's lungs, a fresh round of tears springing to her eyes and making her knock back the rest of her wine. She could hear Ted now, making her smile: Oh hell, you crushed that.
Thank you for these, they're beautiful. She typed, grinning so hard she felt the muscles in her cheeks begin to tremble again. And for everything else this evening, I had the most wonderful time. I love you too, Ted. Goodnight. 💜