I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause

by tillyenna

Summary:

Five Times the Rookies thought something complicated was going on bewteen Y/G/S and one time they actually told someone about it

Notes:

• For SinnersCave.

If you think you recognise the dumb rookies in this from real life hockey rookies, well, I needed two really dumb boys and they fit the bill ok, so I stole their names. That is all.

Thanks to nicky for the applesauce.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Trevor’s remarkably quiet in the car on the way back. Jack’s driving, Jack always drives, which also meant he wasn’t drinking, but it had been a chill evening hanging out with the guys regardless.

“What would you do if you thought a guy was crushing on another guy’s chick?” Trevor asks out of the blue.

“Uh… what?” Jack doesn’t turn to look at him, Jack’s attempting to be responsible.

“Dude I think Leon wants to bang the Captain’s wife.”

“Uh, what the fuck?” Jack does turn to look at him this time, if only very briefly, and Trev looks 100% serious.

“Seriously, I was watching him all night…”

“Ok…” Jack smirks, “And why were you watching him all night?”

“OK first of all,” Trevor snaps back, “I have eyes, have you seen the man? If I want to use our vets as like, resident eye candy, I can.”

Jack snorts, but he doesn’t argue, Leon is fucking pretty.

“And secondly,” Trevor continues, “Because I noticed him staring at the captain’s wife and then I was intrigued.”

“Ok.” Jack doesn’t really know what to say to that.

“So should I tell Olsen?”

“Fuck no!” Jack finds himself gripping his steering wheel just a little too hard, “You are not going to come between the captain and his best fucking friend because you’ve got a weird thing for his buddy and you’re jealous over the captain’s wife…” he trails off, getting lost in his own sentence.

“I’ll show you.” Trevor hunches down in the passenger seat. “I’ll show you.”

Chapter 2: Gérard has a thing for Yvette

The first time Jack really has a moment to notice it is after one of the home games. It’s an afternoon game, so a few of the WAGs had come along with some of the kids and are waiting in the family room after the game. Jack wonders through to wait in there for Trevor before driving home mostly because he showered really fucking fast, but also because Carruthers had dropped an absolute fucking bomb in the bathrooms attached to the locker room and he couldn’t fucking breathe.

Leon’s one of the first players out, and he heads straight for Olsen’s wife, holding his arms out for the toddler that’s on her hip, before pressing a kiss to her cheek. That’s not super weird, they’re both franco’s so like, the cheek kissing thing could be explained. Still, after what Trevor had been saying, he wants to watch a little more closely.

They’re talking in French, of course, so he can’t understand them, but Leon does seem to alternate between chatting to the baby and talking directly with Mrs Olsen, his eyes always flicking back to her face like they’re magnetised. On top of that Leon’s running his hand through his hair, standing so close to her he can touch her elbow as he makes a point, wrapping an arm around the baby so that they’re practically all pressed together – basically all the things Jack would do if he was trying to flirt with her.

Trevor appears out of the locker room before Olsen does, and Jack reluctantly heads to the car, to drive himself and Trevor to the restaurant where they’re all meeting for a post-game meal. He’d wanted to stay, wanted to see if Leon would jump guiltily away when Olsen walked into the room, wanted to see how Olsen would react to seeing Leon standing within kissing distance of his wife.

“I think you’re right,” Jack says as soon as the doors on the car are shut.

“Mott’s apple sauce does taste better than the store brand one. Jacky, I thought you’d never admit that.”

“No, dumbass.” Jack rolls his eyes, “Leon and Mrs O,”

“Oh shit.” Trevor swears, “What the fuck are we going to do.”

“I have… no fucking clue.”

“Ok, but for real on the apple sauce though, I don’t see how you can eat the store brand stuff, Jacky…”

“Trev…” Jack tries to put as much sternness into his voice as possible, “We are not discussing this…”

“It’s like slurping aluminum…” Trevor won’t shut up; Trevor will never shut up and living with him is the hardest part of Jack’s life.

Chapter 3: Yvette has a thing for Gérard

They arrive at the restaurant pretty early, but the team have booked a room at the back, so they head through. Jack is glad there are some other guys there because Trevor is still going on about the fucking apple sauce. Jack wishes there was some way to say “Don’t fucking sit next to me Trev because I love you but spending every waking second with you means I’m going to kill you soon” without breaking his best friend’s heart.

Still, Bowie and Carruthers arrive not that long after him, obviously no WAGs in tow, and the complete chaos of the two of them takes over the entire room and Jack can drown out Trevor’s nonsense with Carruthers’ nonsense instead.

Still, when Leon enters the room with Olsen’s wife on his arm, Trevor jabs him hard in the ribs with an elbow.

“Bonjour, hi!” She sits down next to Riley.

“Abandoned the Cap Mrs O?” Carruthers asks the blunt question that no one else will.

She fixes him with her best patented ‘teacher glare’ “You know that isn’t my name Derek.” She always calls all of them by their first name.

“Sorry Ms Gagnon.” Derek laughs, “But why have you abandoned your husband?”

She shrugs, “Little Gerard is not the best at staying with a sitter at the moment, so Sven is on babysitting duty.” She runs an elegant hand through her hair, “I needed a break from him.”

“From Gerard or Sven?” Leon teases softly, nudging her in the side gently.

She throws her head back with laughter, “I meant from the baby, but,” she pulls a face. “Still,” she turns back to Carruthers, “I have told Sven he is to look after his son, and this one,” she rests her head briefly on Leon’s shoulder, “Is taking me out to dinner with you lot.”

“Aww Ms G,” Bowie grins at her from beside Carruthers, “I love that we get to be your downtime.”

“Don’t make me regret it.” She points a stern finger at him.

Later, when the wine has been flowing, and Trevor is even more Trevor than usual, he ends up throwing his phone on the floor and having to dive under the table to get it.

“Dude.” He hisses at Jack when he comes back up, “You need to check out under the table.”

“The fuck?” Jack matches his tone, whispering back, “What?”

“Just go.” Trevor puts one hand on his head and pushes him under the table.

As soon as he’s there, Jack spots what Trevor must have spotted. Ms Gagnon is obviously sitting next to Leon, and not only are they pressed together, thigh to thigh, but her hand is resting on his thigh. And not on his knee, but pretty damn high up on his thigh. Like, not a buddies hand. Very much not a buddies hand.

Jack freezes for just a second because he has no fucking clue what to do. He and Trevor need to tell one of the As about this, but who, he doesn’t fucking know. Secondly, he’s now hiding under the table and he’s been down there long enough that it’s probably suspicious. He picks up an errant fork, making it look like he’d been searching for that, and also ties Trevor’s shoelaces together for good measure, before returning back to his seat.

“What did I tell you?” Trevor whispers.

“Dude,” is all Jack can say.

(He forgets about the shoelaces until they try standing to leave and Trevor falls face first into the table and Jack laughs so hard he cries. It’s a good night.)

Chapter 4: Sven has a thing for Gérard

They don’t get time to talk to one of the As about it (and honestly, who would they even talk to, obviously not Leon himself, that’s ridiculous – maybe Riley, Trevor points out that it would be super rude to talk about love to Riley when he literally is in the worlds most tragic long distance relationship.

Regardless, a few games later, against the fucking Bruins, Leon takes a nasty hit into the boards, and he just, well, crumples. It’s never nice seeing one of your guys go down, but Olsen is across the ice to him in seconds, shoving any Bruins player he deems to be too close to his liney. The refs have already blown the play dead, and the first aid team are heading out.

It seems like forever, but Leon eventually sits up, to the sound of the boys smacking their sticks against the boards and the cheers of the crowd. He’s helped across the ice, however, and it’s pretty fucking clear to everyone watching that he’s not feeling good.

“Olsen,” Coach turns to the Captain, “Can you keep your head in it?”

“Yes, coach,” Olsen says through gritted teeth.

It’s a long 13 minutes to the end of the period but thank fuck it was the last. Olsen scores what Jack personally thinks is a revenge goal, and they beat the bruins with a tidy 4-2.

The second they’re down the tunnel however, Olsen is heading to the medical suite.

“You’re the second star…” Someone calls out to him.

“Don’t want it.” Olsen calls back, not even breaking his stride “Give it to someone else.”

Jack didn’t think you could do that. Like, he’s pretty damn sure you definitely can’t do that.

It’s not that he’s spying, exactly, but well – he needs to head to the trainer’s suite anyhow to get his knee tape checked and they’d asked to check on it immediately after every game. Sure, he usually showers first, but he can be a good little rookie for once and head straight to where he’s supposed to be, and if that means he gets more insight into what the hell is going on with Leon and Olsen’s wife, well, that’s just a bonus.

“He’s in there.” Anna, the head AT says to Olsen the second he’s in the medical suite, pointing towards the door to the quiet room, “But can you please leave the door open, I need to be in and out.”

Olsen doesn’t even respond, just heads straight in.

“Up on the bed Jack,” Anna taps the physio bed, “Let me see that knee of yours.”

Jack hops straight up and hears a soft ‘Hey’ from Olsen before Anna starts asking him questions about his knee.

By the time she’s finished untapping his knee, Olsen is still in the quiet room with Leon, Anna having left Jack several times to go check on him. When she tells him he’s going to have to wait for five minutes before she can massage out his knee, he really doesn’t mind. Once he’s alone, he twists so he can see through the open door.

Olsen is sat by the head of Leon’s bed, his head resting on the pillow beside him, one hand laced through Leon’s, fingers intertwined, the other one stroking Leon’s head softly, murmuring softly to him.

The penny drops for Jack and all through his massage he can’t wait to talk to Trevor.

It seems like an age before they’re finally alone in the car. “I know why Olsen doesn’t mind that Leon wants his wife.” Jack blurts out, he can’t hold it in.

“Oh?” Trevor is grinning at him, excited.

“Olsen’s in love with Leon.”

“Dude no!”

“Dude yes!” Jack starts up the car, “Like, full-on tragic ‘pining after your best friend’ love with him.”

“Fuck me.” Trevor hugs his knees up and Jack wonders briefly why he can’t sit like a normal person in the car. “That’s tragic.”

“But it makes sense, right? If the wife is just like, his beard or whatever, or like, not actually his girlfriend, but pretending to be his girlfriend so he can hide the fact he’s in love with Leon.”

“Makes perfect sense bro.” Trevor agrees.

“I mean, I guess we don’t need to tell anyone anymore,” Jack says with relief.

Chapter 5: Yvette and Sven (unsurprisingly) have a thing for each other.

They’re over at the captain’s house for the team Christmas party. Plenty of the guys have their wags there, and plenty of the guys don’t. Jack mostly hangs out with those who don’t, in deference to not feeling like a single loser. Riley’s sat with them too, even though he’s the literal opposite of a single loser, but he’s also dating a Hab, and that’s probably even more loserish than being single.

Jack briefly wonders why it’s so quiet, then realises he hasn’t seen Trevor for ten minutes. He debates going to look for him, but then remembers how much more peaceful it is without him, so just takes a leisurely sip of his beer. To his dismay, Trevor reappears not long after Jack notices he’s gone, but he’s white as a sheet.

“Dude, have you seen a ghost?” Bowman asks him.

Trevor shakes his head, pressing his lips together in that dumb way that Jack knows means he’s attempting not to blurt out something he really doesn’t want to say. “I need to talk to you Jacky…” he says, “Outside.”

“We’re not going outside,” Jack heaves himself off the couch, “It’s December, in Ottowa. No.”

“Somewhere… less teamie then.” Trevor insists.

Jack rolls his eyes but follows Trevor up the stairs in the captain’s house to one of the guest bedrooms. As they’re leaving, he hears Carruthers shout ‘Don’t get photographed making out’ but he recognises it as more of a chirp at Riley than at either Trevor or himself.

“So,” Trevor wheels around to face him the second the door snicks shut behind them. “I just accidentally walked in on Olsen, making out with his wife.”

“Ok,” Jack says hesitantly because that doesn’t seem like such a drama, why would it be weird for a dude to make out with his own wife? “Wait…” his brain catches up, “Olsen?”

“Mmhmm,” Trevor hums pointedly. “And they were both really fucking into it.”

“Well…” Jack sits down on the edge of the bed, “That kind of means our beard theory is wrong.”

“What the fuck do we do?” Trevor asks pathetically, “Like, this kind of shit could tear a team apart.”

“Let’s recap,” Jack tries to take things methodically, “Olsen loves his wife, his wife loves him, that’s all peachy, yeah?”

“Yep, but she also loves Leon, who is very clearly reciprocating.”

“Do we think they’re acting on it?” Jack asks

“I don’t fucking know.” Trevor sighs, running his hands across his face, flipping his ridiculous lettuce out of his eyes. “And then there’s the whole, Olsen in love with Leon thing.”

“It feels like an actual love triangle.” Jack says, thinking out loud, “Except, like, a more complicated one.”

“This could seriously fuck shit up in the locker room.”

“Ok.” Jack says decisively, “We wait for the new year, I’m not doing shit over the holiday season, and then we bring it up to Riley.”

“He’s pretty much our only option I guess.” Trevor agrees.

Chapter 6: Gérard has a thing for Sven

New Years’ Eve they’re away, which Jack and Trevor are kind of in favour of because partying the night away with your teammates when you’re just 21 is the best way to spend New Years’, but a lot of the vets are whinging about not being able to spend it with their families – not to mention the Russians, for whom New Years is an even bigger deal than Christmas.

Still, the team hires out a room in a club, and there are plenty of hot women and men for Jack and Trevor to flirt with, so for once, they’re not really focusing on the drama between their Captain and Alternate Captain.

Still, when midnight comes, Jack finds himself standing with Trevor’s arm around his shoulder, Trevor yelling the countdown in his ear, the rest of their teammates surrounding them. As the clock strikes midnight, Carruthers has a bright red Bowman pressed up against a wall, Trevor is pressing a ridiculously sloppy kiss to Jack’s cheek, and Riley is off somewhere on his phone, like always, but most of their teammates are hugging each other and giving over the top kisses, or chasing the rookies asking for a kiss.

Jack doesn’t mean to notice it, he isn’t even watching them, but he watches as Leon stretches up on his toes ever so slightly to press the softest of kisses to Olsen’s cheekbone. Nothing like the ridiculous joke of a kiss Trevor had given him, and nothing like the casual Quebecois greeting kiss either, but something far, far more tender.

He can’t tear his eyes away, as Leon mutters something in Olsen’s ear, and then Olsen turns to him, a small smirk on his face, and they’re too far away for Jack to hear what he says back, but the words ‘love you too’ are pretty damn easy to lip read.

Chapter 7: Epilogue

They’re away again the next day, and Jack can hardly sit still the entire flight. Of course, he caught Trevor up on everything he’d seen when they’d got back to their shared hotel room, they’d come to the conclusion that they have to go to Riley – it’s the only option they really have at this point, and sure, it’s not the best option, but it’s all they’ve got.

As soon as they dump their bags in their room, they’re off to Riley’s room, knocking urgently on the door. Of course, he’s on the phone.

“Got to go babes, there are rookies at my door.”

“BYE DIVER,” Trevor calls as he pushes past Riley into the room, and then, when Riley’s hung up the phone, “Sorry for interrupting your phone sex, it’s kind of an emergency.”

“We weren’t having phone sex.” Riley lies, or at least, it’s not a lie, but Jack also thinks that they probably were GOING to have phone sex if he and Trevor hadn’t interrupted.

“It’s about Olsen and Leon,” Jack explains, sitting down on the edge of Riley’s bed, “And we don’t know who else to go to but also we don’t want them to find out stuff that could make them fall out with each other because that would fuck over the locker room so badly.”

Riley raises an eyebrow, “You’re worried Olsen and Leon are going to fall out with each other?”

Trevor and Jack both nod frantically.

Riley sighs, “You’d better start from the beginning.”

Partway through Trevor’s dramatic retelling, Riley ends up staring out the window, waving for them to continue, by the time they’ve finished, Jack can’t tear his eyes away from the way Riley’s been holding his shoulders desperately stiff, but occasionally, like he can’t control it, they jerk. Once, Jack could have sworn he saw Riley reach up to brush away tears.

“Dude,” Jack can’t stop himself, “I know it’s shit, but like, I don’t think you need to cry…”

“Cry?” Riley finally speaks, turning round, and sure there are tears streaming down his face, but it’s pretty clear as soon as they can see him that what he’s been hiding from them isn’t panic, or distress, but the fact he’s laughing so hard he can barely breathe.

“You don’t believe us?” Trevor asks.

“Do I believe you that Olsen and Leon and Yvette are all being weird about each other? Yes, of course I fucking do.” Riley snorts, “I just don’t think the two of you need to worry your pretty little heads about it.”

“Awww,” Trevor coos, “You think I’m pretty.” Because of course, that’s what he takes away from that.

“But what if Olsen finds out… about Mrs O and Leon.” Jack can’t help but press.

“First of all…” Riley points at him, “You know she’s not Mrs O right? That’s not how names work in Quebec, and secondly…” he sighs, “Just don’t fucking worry about it ok kid? Nothing bad is going to happen between our Captain and his favourite Alternate.”

“Are you not his favourite alternate?” Jack asks.

“Not even close.” Riley laughs, “Not even close.”